AN: So sorry this took forever to update. I hope some of you even remember what is happening. My work got crazy for a few months. But I've got some good updates coming.

Chapter 9

Vanished but not gone.

Fin and Velasco drove Olivia over to her apartment in a black SUV with tinted windows. When they pulled to a loading zone near the front door of her building, Olivia practically jumped out of the backseat as soon as they breaked. She was filled with rage. Angry that she had to hide in unmarked cars. Infuriated that she had to drag her son out of school for the second time this year, and out of his dance competitions and sports activities. Furious that they would be sleeping in yet another bed that wasn't their own bed. The whole vehicle shook when she slammed the door.

Fin gave Velasco a sharp glance to keep quiet and stay out of her way. His phone went off.

"Rollins, what up? Eli. I guess Liv didn't give him her new number yet. Hang on. Liv, Eli is at the precinct."

"Oh shit. I forgot to call them."

He handed her the phone.

"Eli, I'm so sorry," She listened and then continued to walk. "What do you mean he's not in the hospital," Olivia heavily breathed as she stomped down the sidewalk toward her building's front door. Her hair wildly swirled around the top of her long trench coat.

Fin and Velasco jogged to keep up with her. She turned to look at Fin. "He's saying Elliot isn't at the hospital. Police discharged him…What police? I am the police, and we don't discharge people, unless they are in danger."

Fin shook his head in confusion.

"Eli, don't panic," she replied. "You're with Amanda? Great. Stay there. We're going to figure this out. Sorry about the new phone number. I should have called you. I'm so sorry. I'm not good at calling everyone yet. New phone is a… long story. I'll text you the new number," she huffed out of breath and suddenly stopped with dizziness. "As soon as I….figure out what's going on…I'll..."

Fin grabbed the phone from her hands and waved for Velasco to grab her arm as she held on to a building in the middle of the sidewalk.

"You okay," Velsaco gently asked.

"I just need a minute, and probably something to eat, but who the fuck discharged my...Elliot," she winced.

"Eli," Fin continued. "Can you put Rollins on? Rolls. Did you call Bell? She didn't know anything. Okay, I'm headed over to the hospital now." He ended the call and started to walk Olivia back to the SUV. "Come on, this ain't safe. We'll get your stuff from the apartment another time. Let's get you back to Noah while I find Stabler."

"No," she grabbed at her bare neck where the compass usually lay. "I promised Noah that I would get his things. He needs his backpack." It sounded like a lie. It was mostly true. She also wanted to get her necklace back from the bathroom sink and comb the apartment to check for evidence they may have missed. She collected herself and adamantly shut him down. "I just need 10 minutes. Head over to the hospital. Velasco and I can handle this. And keep me posted." She ordered.

Fin grabbed both of her hands and softly talked to her. "Liv. You're exhausted. You haven't eaten in days. You haven't showered in days. You're traumatized. And whether you like it or not, you're a target to some psychopath. I know you're not real good at playing the boring housewife yet, but you have to let go of the job this time. We got this. Noah shouldn't be on a Nintendo game switch thing anyway, that's a great way to blow your location, and you know it. There's too much on the line, Liv. Noah just needs you. Eli needs you. Elliot is going to need you. Go back to the hotel with Noah and figure out your life. Not this crime. Your life, Liv. I will find Elliot. Let us take care of this. Please."

"I can't live in a hotel room, Fin. Elliot was supposed to get discharged this week…I need for this to be over."

"Liv," Fin gently continued. "Even if he could get discharged. He needs a home to come back to, and what you have up there in that apartment…it's not healthy for any of you. And I'm not talking about the crime scene. We could barely get through the front door, there's so many boxes and piles of mail and take out containers everywhere. We weren't even sure if that mess was from the break in, or just from lack of cleaning."

"Elliot made me get get rid of the maid. He felt uncomfortable. We've been too busy to keep up with...everything."

"Well...the maid thing is dumb. I've had a maid since my first raise. Regardless. You have to take care of your family, Liv. Find a new place. Buy new furniture. Rehire your maid. Do whatever you gotta do, but going up there isn't solving anything. You understand?"

She nodded with tears in her eyes, and Velasco stood next to her, ready to catch her if she felt faint again. She didn't though. She collected herself and looked at the front door of her apartment building as if it were the last time she wanted to see it. As if burning it all down seemed easier than moving all of their stuff out.

The thought of trying to get Elliot home in a wheelchair was overwhelming enough, but then to do it in their living conditions with the stress of the case and her inability to let go of the past, seemed impossible. The chaos of the city now seemed to mesh with the apartment building as it loomed over them. There were so many things about this place that haunted her, and yet she clung to it. The off gray paint on the outside of the building that covered up tag marks from her attack two years ago. The blood stain that would now be on her living room carpet. The oven that never worked. The ever changing neighbors. The doorman who cared more about his phone than his job. The years of lonely nights she still thought about everytime Elliot worked a double. Even the good memories she had of this apartment and the city seemed to be distant now. The memories of Elliot courting her from her front door. Their first kiss in the hallway. Making love in her extra large shower. Constantly worrying about Noah and his safety and the people he befriended. The mountains of boxes stacked throughout the entire house now that Elliot moved in. Boxes they all happily lived around, because Elliot and Olivia were both too hard headed to make big collaborated decisions when it came to life choices. Nothing in this apartment was their life. None of it mattered. They lived in denial of needing the 'normal' necessities of life, because home was never a prioritized place for either of them. She never needed a big house or a yard or furniture that matched, she just needed people in her life, and he was there, and he gave her a family, and that's all she ever cared about was family. But every moment that passed since they professed their love for each other, was riddled with change and uncharted territory. And she if knew one thing about herself, it was that change was not her forte.

"Okay," she finally said. "You're right. But I still want to quickly go up."

"God damn, woman, you are stubborn."

"Noah needs his things, and I need to see…for myself, it will help me let go. Please go find my husband, and let me gather myself, so I can be prepared for the next chapter." Her hand grabbed at her bare neck again.

"Fine," Fin said, believing her this time, as he'd never once heard her call Elliot her husband with such ease. "Velasco, take her up and then get her out of here. I'm headed to the hospital."

Olivia felt like a child as she walked behind Velasco. She touched the glass door and flashes of Elliot hit her. Tears formed in her eyes and she mindlessly followed the detective as she thought about him standing there at that door, waiting for her. The memory appeared like a ghost.

Flashback to two years ago.

Elliot leaned on her front door like some matured version of James Dean. White collared shirt, dark denim jeans, peaked out from under his peacock. Blue eyes sparkling in the night.

"You're back," she smiled with surprise.

"Hi," he smiled back and handed her a hot paper mug.

She could smell the ginger steaming from the lid.

"Tea," she grinned with affection. "What did I do to deserve such door service?"

He shrugged and blushed back. "Just wanted to see your face. I would have texted, but…thought I'd surprise you instead."

"Well. This is a nice surprise. And…thanks for texting every night while you were gone, by the way. That was also a nice surprise," she added as she sipped the ginger tea and looked up at him. Her brown eyes softened as they held his gaze.

"Thanks for replying."

She held back a laugh and blinked down at her Tea. "Touchay."

The September breeze made them both shiver and they stepped closer into each other. Elliot touched the small of her back and rubbed her gently. He looked down at her neck and fixed the compass necklace that was flipped over.

"Looks good on you," he warmly noted.

She blushed this time. "I have gotten a lot of compliments."

"I hope that texting you was okay. I know, it's not exactly…safe protocol, but I took great care in keeping that phone hidden…just so you know."

"I trust you did, El."

He held back the "Do you?" joke, and lifted a brow at her instead.

"What?"

"Nothing," he laughed. "I'll take the trust. I just know how you are about the rules, wanted to explain-"

She touched his chest unconsciously, her hand resting on his heart. "No need to explain, and…in a weird way knowing you were alive was…more important to me than the rules," she pulled back her hand realizing the thump under her touch was his heart.

"And yeah know, it was little exhilarating," she lightened the sentiment.

He flirted back. "Ow. Exhilarating. My texts or going against protocol?"

She playfully pushed his chest and took a step back. "Ha. How about both."

There was a pause in the conversation as they both looked at her door and contemplated the next step.

Elliot stepped back too, allowing her to make the decision and giving her the space she had asked for, though Olivia could sense he would have come up stairs and sat in her living room all night into morning. Instead, he remained consistent and trustworthy. "Well," he smiled. "You should go spend some time with Noah. I have an early day tomorrow with the family. So, I'll let you have your night. Just wanted to let you know…I'm around."

She nodded and watched him back away. "Thanks. I missed you, Stabler."

"Dito," he winked.

She turned to let herself into the building. Embarrassed that she couldn't just have dinner with him. And then quickly, but not irrationally, she spun around and blurted it out.

"Hey."

"Yeah," he turned.

"You want to have dinner tomorrow night?"

Elliot froze and half nodded, and stopped, then stammered. "Dinner?"

"Yeah like...at a restaurant."

"Ah...tomorrow..."

"Or when you're free? Just let me know," She casually let out, unconvincingly. "Think about it. Text me!"

He laughed at the two of them proposing the idea of dinner 10 feet away from each other in true awkward Benson and Stabler form, and had to back pedal for the both of them.

"Wait a second," he jogged back to her.

"Yeah?," she blinked, and her voice sounded higher than usual, as she attempted to hide her feelings.

"Now…you just…asked me to dinner…"

"It's just dinner, Elliot. Let's not…over think it."

He lifted one brow as he read her body language and cocked his head to the sky. "K," he knowingly smiled. "Just dinner. I'm free tomorrow."

"Great," she smiled. "Let's catch up then." And then she spun back around and pulled open the door. A forceful turbulence of wind rushed by her through the door. Elliot had to yell over top of it all.

"You're not gonna ditch me this time right?"

"What?," she yelled back. "No!"

"Okay then! Text me a place," he said in his mockingly cool demeanor.

"I will," she said now behind the closing glass door.

Velasco pushed open her apartment door.

"You sure you want to go in? I can get whatever it is that you need."

"Velasco," she scolded. "Move. I'm fine."

Olivia pushed past him through the entry way that contained an 8 foot stack of Elliot's boxes and things. She ignored the living room, where she knew a mess of crime scene still remained intact, and went to Noah's room to collect his things.

Velasco wasn't giving her an inch of space though. "You need help?"

"I'm good. You can wait in the….," she stopped herself from saying 'living room'. "Out there."

Without making eye contact she then quickly headed to her room, tossed some essentials into a bag, and noticed the black smudges all over her window sill where forensics had checked for fingerprints. She wondered for a second if all of those prints were hers and if not, hers and Elliot's, who could have violated the privacy of their bedroom. She shook it off and went for the bathroom counter where she took off her jewelry at night.

Accept for her earrings, the counter was empty, and she panicked.

"What the hell…," she mumbled. She then checked the bed and her endstand, nothing. She started crawling on the floor in search of it, when Velasco walked in on her.

"You drop something?"

"Ah-," she jumped. "My necklace. It was right here next to my earrings, and now it's not….I…I don't think I left it somewhere else. No. I took it off here. I definitely took it off. Right here, and then I heard the noise, and then I found…but...it should be here..."

She started crawling all over the bathroom and then noticed the window near the shower.

"What's that?," she pointed at the window.

"What?," Velasco looked at the closed window confused by her question.

"That window is clean. And unlocked," she noticed as she got closer. "Why wasn't this window checked for fingerprints?"

"I…I don't know. I…I'll make sure they come back."

"Yeah you will," she responded with spit and fire. "You guys want me to let go, but you all keep giving me reasons not to. The real question is, who knows about that necklace."

"What do you mean?"

"Why take the necklace and leave the earrings? They knew that necklace was special to me and Elliot. Who else knows that accept…Rollins….who would know that?"

Rollins and Bell stood around a computer as Jet pulled up the Hospital security footage.

"Stop," Bell said. "Is that?"

" Tia Leonetti," Jet finished.

"Who's that?," Rollins asked.

"Elliot's Italian Olivia," Jet said with disgust.