Two weeks. Two weeks of pretending she was happy. Two weeks of desperately devouring reports from the Outer Rim to assure herself that the people she loved were alive and well. Two weeks of working herself harder than she had on the frontlines so she could fall in bed at the end of the day, exhausted, and dream of darkness and fire. Two weeks of avoiding Master Che's sympathetic eyes.

Two weeks of being alone. No meals with Obi-Wan and their friends. No practice with Anakin and Rex. No quiet patient reviews with Maelle. No one to confide in.

Adrina missed him. She missed his dry wit and their teasing banter. She missed his laugh and his smile, and the way he could always make her smile even on the worst days. She missed talking. Obi-Wan saw through all her defenses - he always had - and never once did she feel anything less than valued.

She missed him.

Adrina rolled over in bed, the morning sun not yet risen. Her datapad winked at her on her bedside table. She sighed. Another night of restless sleep and already messages waited for her. She grabbed the datapad and began scrolling. A few messages she deleted without reading, others she filed away for later. But one snagged her attention. A ghost of a smile crossed her lips and she opened Maelle's message.

"Things are running smoothly, so don't worry about us here. It isn't the same without you, though. Grief complains that I'm a taskmaster when you're not around, but I just tell him to go clean something." Adrina smiled fondly. Perhaps her absence would be good for young Maelle. "I'm continually covered in bruises, but Fives assures me that's part of the training process. On the bright side, the kitchen droids have started making the most amazing soup. I'm not sure what's in it and I'm too scared to ask. I mentioned it to Tupp when he was in MedBay for a migraine, and he said he suspects it's turnip, but I'm not convinced." Maelle rambled for a few more paragraphs about the happenings on the ship. "You've been terribly brief in your messages. I wish you would take your own advice and talk to me. Or if not me, someone. Take care - Maelle."

Guilt curdled her empty stomach. Perhaps she had not disguised her emotions as well as she had hoped. Adrina lost count of the number of times she had started a message to Maelle, intending to bare her soul, only for old fears to strangle and silence her. She buried her heartache a little deeper.

Adrina laid the datapad down with a sigh. But sighing would not transport her to the ship. Sighing would not fix her broken heart. So she swung her legs out of bed and prepared to face the day.

0

Two weeks. Two weeks of pretending he was happy. Two weeks of throwing himself into work. Two weeks of receiving reports from Assistant Amon instead of the woman it should have been. Two weeks of avoiding Anakin's sympathetic eyes.

He hadn't expected how empty he would feel without Adrina - without her level head and small smiles she awarded only a select few. He missed eating meals with her. He missed her sharing the latest from her medical journals - things he didn't understand but he always enjoyed hearing anyway. Adrina understood him in a way no one else did, not even Anakin.

He missed her.

Obi-Wan knew Anakin had spoken to Adrina. Before Obi-Wan had left Coruscant, Anakin had offered sympathies and a listening ear. But Obi-Wan wasn't ready to talk about it. Not yet. Not ever. Better to bury the emotions.

Now he strode through the Temple halls once again, heading to an emergency Council session, and suppressing his emotions became much more difficult. He looked for her at every turn, disappointed and relieved to only find empty space.

Obi-Wan bowed to the other Council members and took his seat. The grave expression on Windu and Yoda's faces did nothing to assuage his concern. When the last of the members arrived, Master Windu began. "Our spies have to come to us with troubling news of a plot to kidnap the Chancellor." Tension thickened the air. "The mastermind, Moralo Eval, is behind bars, but our spies report that the plot is already in motion."

"When are these terrorists planning to strike?" Master Ti inquired with a gentle tilt of her head.

Windu and Yoda exchanged a glance. "We do not know."

"We are certain this information is reliable?" Master Tiin asked.

"Yes." Yoda's voice rang with certainty. "A plot there is. Stop it, we must."

Obi-Wan sighed. "You already have a plan, don't you?"

Windu hesitated. "It carries considerable risk and is highly dangerous, but yes. We have a plan. One we must all agree upon. This must be unanimous."

Obi-Wan frowned. Their plan must be dangerous indeed. Windu methodically laid out the plan, step by step.

"That borders on suicidal," Obi-Wan remarked, stroking his beard. "But it just might work."

"I'm glad you feel that way, Obi-Wan," Mace said. "Because I believe you are the one for the job."

Obi-Wan's arm fell from his face. His stomach plummeted. "Not Anakin? He would be well suited to this type of mission."

"No." Windu stated firmly. "Skywalker is no longer a Jedi. For this plan to work, we cannot have the Republic Security Force investigating this matter. As a Jedi, we would claim jurisdiction."

Obi-Wan sighed. "I will do it, of course." Duty demanded acquiescence.

"Agreed, are we?" Yoda's eyes scanned each Council member, who nodded in their turn. "Agreed we are."

"We do it tonight." Windu said. "We don't have any time to waste."

Obi-Wan swallowed hard. The sun had barely risen on Coruscant. "As you wish." Adrina's heartbroken face flashed through his mind. Guilt turned his stomach.

"I'll make contact with the assassin," Windu said. "Obi-Wan, Master Che will provide you with a vital suppressor and careful instructions. She is the only one outside of the Council who is to be made aware of what we have just discussed."

Obi-Wan shifted in his seat, but he said, "Yes, Master."

Master Agen Kolar moved the topic of conversation to the worsening situation in the Outer Rim, but Obi-Wan's thoughts remained on the great cost of the mission.

0

The amount of paperwork that came with saving a life never ceased to astound Adrina. She had spent the day in surgery at the Galactic City Medical Center, but a mountain of paperwork still awaited her. There was nothing for it, though. She sat her datapad down beside her plate of food and began chipping away at the mountain. Obi-Wan used to teasingly chastise her for working while eating; he always ensured she at least took a few minutes for herself each day, as she did for him. But Obi-Wan was not there and she had work to do.

Crumbs scattered across the table when she viciously tore into her roll. The buttery bread tasted of ash. She threw the roll onto her plate and shoved it away.

She could eat later.

Adrina left the refractory tense. She typed furiously as she walked, blocking out everything around her until she collided with a solid chest. Warm hands gripped her waist, steadying her. That too familiar smoky, woody scent filled her nostrils.

"Addy." Obi-Wan's reverent whisper broke a small piece of her heart.

They took a large step back at the same time. Distance was good. Distance was necessary, Adrina reminded herself. She knew, logically, that she would see Obi-Wan again. But now that he was in front of her, she forgot every word she ever learned. She'd imagined thousands of things to say, but none of them materialized in the moment she needed them.

Adrina cleared her throat and shook off her stupor. "I didn't know you were back on Coruscant."

"Yes, I just arrived this morning." Obi-Wan glanced over her shoulder at the refractory and then at her datapad. He raised a reproachful eyebrow and she narrowed her eyes at him, daring him to comment. Obi-Wan chose the wiser path. "Have you been well?" The longing in his eyes tugged at her gut.

"Yes, thank you," she murmured. "Maelle tells me everything is running smoothly?"

"Oh, yes. Yes, they are."

Deafening silence fell between them. This awkwardness, this pretending everything was okay, was death by a thousand cuts.

"I should go," Adrina said. "I have….work." Always duties. Always responsibilities. The pressure threatened to topple her, so she lifted her chin in defiance.

Adrina waited for Obi-Wan to respond, but when he continued to look at her with such conflict, waging an inner war she could only guess at, she brushed past him. If she kept her head high and eyes forward, she wouldn't cry.

But Obi-Wan caught her elbow. He leaned close to her ear and whispered with unusual urgency, "Don't believe everything you see, Addy. Trust the Force." Adrina frowned. His beautiful blue eyes willed her to understand. "Trust the Force," he repeated before releasing her arm and walking away.

They hadn't seen each other in two weeks and that was what he wanted to say? An admonishment for younglings?

Adrina's throat constricted. She whirled away. She refused to stare after him like some love struck fool.

A gaggle of giggling younglings, heads bent closer together, walked by. Adrina watched them disappear into the refectory. She tried to squash the envy that bubbled up. What was it like to have friends like that?

Adrina slumped against the wall. Pressure threatened to collapse her chest. She pressed her head against the cool stone column and focused on moderating her breathing to calm her erratic heartbeat. Words and thoughts too long suppressed choked her.

She regretted how she responded to Anakin when he tried to tell her of his relationship with Padmé. She had been correct, but callous. Adrina understood now the depth of his pain and loneliness.

"I wish you would take your own advice and talk to me. Or if not me, someone."

That had been her advice to her troubled patients - talk. Share the burden. Yet she so rarely did, and hardly ever with the brutal honesty her soul demanded for peace. She had no one but herself to blame for her isolation. She had always recognized her difficulty trusting and her inability to open up to others, lest anyone see the cracks in her carefully constructed armor, as some of her greatest shortcomings, but never really took steps to correct them. Why would she when her armor held strong?

What friends did Adrina truly have? To whom could she turn? To whom could she voice the raw truth of her struggles and secret desires? How had she lived in the Jedi temple for over ten years but had no one to confide in? This is what she reaped for keeping everyone at arm's length. She had protected her heart, yes, and proved herself worthy of her place in the Temple, but now that her heart was shattered there was no one to whom she could turn. No shoulder to cry on. No hand to stroke her hair. No voice to bring sympathy and reason into a mind in chaos. And yet pressures and responsibilities continued to mount, lining up like dominos, until it felt like the slightest breeze would bring everything tumbling down.

She'd had Obi-Wan. Not anymore. Not for a while. Perhaps not ever again.

She had Anakin. But how could she tell her baby brother about her relationship with Obi-Wan? How could she bare the truth of her soul to him when it would only make him uncomfortable? Anakin cared, yes, but he grimaced at the barest hint she had kissed Obi-Wan; she couldn't blame him.

She had Maelle, she supposed, but Maelle was more daughter than confidante.

There was Master Che, but Adrina cringed at the thought of confiding the sordid details to her esteemed mentor. How ironic that she would not do the very thing she had encouraged Anakin to do - talk to his mentor. I'm a hypocrite of the worst kind.

Master Allie raised an eyebrow as she passed her by and Adrina pushed off the column. She plastered a smile on her face and bowed slightly.

Allie paused. She turned concerned eyes to Adrina. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, of course," Adrina said hastily. She reinforced her smile even as she felt another crack fracture her armor.

Allie's smile slipped, but she nodded and continued on her path.

Adrina's shoulders fell when Allie disappeared around the corner. A hypocrite and a fool. Here she was, lamenting the consequences of her actions, acknowledging the severity of her shortcomings, but when an opportunity arose to allow the barest glimmer of weakness, over twenty years of reflex reared its ugly head. Yet, how much could she reveal to another Jedi without admitting Obi-Wan's role? He was an esteemed member of the Jedi Council.

But that was also an excuse and she knew it. Adrina pushed people away. She always had. She isolated herself behind overgrown, crumbling walls of regret, convinced that she could bear the pressure alone even when it felt like one slight breeze would leave her in utter ruin.

Adrina straightened. She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. But it didn't have to be that way. She could choose to heed sound advice. She could choose to change. She could learn to be vulnerable. She could learn to overcome her fears and insecurities.

There was no alternative. Her current state was unbearable.

0

The soft whirr of the turbolift to Padmé's apartment grated on Adrina's frayed nerves. "What am I doing?" she muttered, rubbing her temple in a vain attempt to assuage her aching head.

Adrina knew what she was doing: extending the hand of friendship.

The turbolift opened. "Mistress Adrina! It is such a pleasure to see you again! Right this way, right this way." C-3PO eagerly shuffled down the short corridor towards Padmé's living room. "May I offer you a refreshing beverage while you wait for Mistress Padmé?"

"No, thank you, C-3PO," Adrina murmured.

"You just missed Master Ani," C-3PO prattled on. Adrina blinked. She didn't even know he was on Coruscant. "Mistress Tano whisked him away in the middle of dinner. The very middle, if you can believe. How ru-" Alarm flagged.

"Did he say where he was going?"

C-3PO tilted his head slightly. "Something about a plot and hunting down terrorists. I'm afraid Master Ani wasn't very specific."

Padmé swept into the room bedecked in a simple gown of deep purple with silver flowers embroidered along the wrists, high neck, and hem. It was a beautiful, billowing gown that contrasted the more figure-hugging and ornate gowns she usually favored as Senator. Although, now that Adrina thought about it, all of her gowns in recent holonews were in a looser style.

"Adrina, I'm so glad you're here." Relief colored Padmé's voice. "Surprised, but glad." Adrina sensed something was amiss, but didn't dwell on the feeling. "Anakin isn't here; the Council called him away."

"3PO mentioned that…" Adrina trailed off, noticing Padmé's hand drift down and rest on her stomach. Adrina felt so very foolish. What did she think she was doing? Barging in and hoping to make friends after the way they had left things.

Apologies danced on the tip of Adrina's tongue, but her mouth refused to allow them passage.

Padmé smiled. Her eyes widened ever so slightly, expectantly.

Adrina's heart kicked into overdrive. This had been a mistake. She'd managed alone thus far; she could continue alone.

Her eyes snagged on a painting, swirling strokes of deep blue and purple flecked with gold. If she shifted a little to the left or right, the gold spread, overtaking the dark. For a moment, she lost herself in its depth. "That's a beautiful painting." She had heard people talk of art speaking to them, making them feel things, but this was the first time she understood what they meant.

Padmé followed Adrina's eyes. "My former handmaiden, Eirtaé, painted that following the Trade Federation invasion." Padmé studied Adrina carefully. "Anakin always said it was depressing."

"Not depressing at all," Adrina murmured. Though it was, perhaps, a study in battling depression - a careful balance of darkness with glimmers of brightness, choosing which side was witnessed.

"Please, sit." Padmé led Adrina to the couch. "What can I do for you?"

Adrina herded her thoughts. The truth. She had resolved to humiliate herself with the truth before she arrived and now was the time. "I realize we haven't spoken since the Senator Clovis incident. And I am ashamed I have not made more of an effort to get to know you. Recent events have made me realize that I have isolated myself and I… I would like to be better." Better like Anakin.

"It goes both ways," Padmé said. "I, too, could have reached out. Should have reached out."

"I know I am not….an easy person to get to know, especially given the…words we exchanged when you first married."

"Water under the bridge," Padmé murmured. She offered a smile and continued tentatively, "It isn't my place to ask, but I was surprised when Anakin told me you were staying on Coruscant."

Adrina lowered her head. "Yes, I believe my decision surprised several, but it was necessary." She sought friendship, but revealing the utter truth… It was too soon.

"Yes," Padmé agreed softly. "This war has been waging for too long with no end in sight." She paused. "I want to be your friend. And I want you to know that, if you ever need someone to listen, I am here. I know what it's like to be alone when surrounded by people."

Paranoia stiffened Adrina's muscles. "What did Anakin tell you?"

"Nothing." Padmé shook her head. "But I am not blind."

Padmé's hand drifted to her abdomen again and her thumb rubbed a slow circle. Something in the action struck Adrina. It was a motion she'd witnessed many times over the years in pregnant women. Adrina frowned. The stomach holding, the clothes… She reached out with her senses and froze.

Padmé stilled. "You know," Padmé breathed.

Adrina's thoughts raced and various emotions flooded her at once. "How long have you known?"

Padmé sighed. Her shoulders slumped. "I've known for a month, but my doctor says to expect the baby in four months." Adrina's mouth fell open. That certainly explained the shift in her wardrobe. "It was quite the surprise, as you might imagine. We wanted a family, of course, but," Padmé waved her hand around. "Not with the war. And Anakin doesn't know yet. I didn't want to tell him over hologram, but he's here so rarely and when he is…." Padmé blushed. "I planned to surprise him tonight over dinner, but then Ahsoka barged in…" She shook her head with a long sigh.

"It will be your surprise to share," Adrina promised, mustering a smile. She hesitated. "What exactly did your doctor tell you about your pregnancy?"

Padmé shrugged. "The usual. He placed me at five months along and went over restrictions and guidelines. Why?"

"Did he do any imaging?"

Padmé shook her head. "No, I wanted Anakin there. Adrina, you're starting to scare me. What is it?"

Adrina waved her hand. "Only that I believe you can expect to meet your bundles of joy closer to three months from now. You're carrying twins."

"Twins?"

"Twins. Two distinct lifeforms."

"You're sure?"

Adrina nodded. "Twins. Both healthy, as far as I can tell from a cursory scan."

Padmé leaned back against the couch, hand to her forehead while the other cradled her stomach. "Twins," she said faintly. "Anakin will never believe it. Although, my sister Sola had identical twins." She eyed Adrina. "Are you alright, Adrina? You have the oddest look on your face."

Adrina plastered on her professional smile. "Yes, I'm quite alright. I am very happy for you and Anakin."

"Truly?"

Adrina nodded. She was happy for them. They would be wonderful, loving, attentive parents. She was jealous, too, and sad, knowing this future would never be possible for her. But, Anakin was going to be a father. She was going to be an aunt. That was something to celebrate. She pushed her feelings aside and smiled. "Anakin will be overjoyed. Congratulations!"

"You're not…concerned? When we were first married…."

Adrina considered her words. "You were able to accomplish what I could not," she said finally. "Anakin is at peace. He may still struggle, but he is trying and growing." Adrina exhaled. "He is maturing into the man I always hoped he would be, but could never quite help him to be."

How could she truly help him when she was caught in her own struggles?

Tears shimmered in Padmé's eyes. "Adrina…."

Adrina waved her concern away. "It's alright. However it happened, I am glad it has. So, to answer your question, no, I am not concerned. Not overly concerned, at least. This will be a test for your relationship, but starting a family always is." And she hardly had the energy to be worried about them, anyway.

"Thank you, Adrina." Padmé studied Adrina for a moment before asking gently. "Is it Obi-Wan?"

Adrina's head snapped up. "What?"

"You look like you haven't slept well in, oh, two weeks? I'm concerned."

Adrina laughed nervously. Another crack in her defenses. She shifted in her seat. "What does that have to do with Obi-Wan?"

Padmé shrugged. "Just a feeling. I have it on good authority that Obi-Wan has been particularly moody. It all coincides with your transfer to the Temple."

"It's just a co-" Adrina cut herself off. No. No more holding friends at arm's length. Padmé could be a friend. She could be a good friend, even. That was the entire purpose of her visit. Adrina chewed the inside of her cheek. Before she could think the better of it, she blurted, "We kissed. Twice." Padmé's eyes widened.

The whole story - from Duchess Satine's arrival on Coruscant to seeing Obi-Wan that afternoon - tumbled from Adrina's mouth like water bursting from a dam. When she finally concluded, she felt raw and laid bare. She waited for the soul-crushing fear, but instead she only felt….relief. Padmé looked at her not with condemnation or pity, but with sympathy and understanding. She never intended to tell Padmé - not then, at least - but she couldn't regret her impulsiveness.

Padmé considered her words. "It is truly hopeless, then?"

Adrina nodded. "Obi-Wan is committed to his very core. Anakin…" She sighed. "Anakin wasn't." Padmé had the good graces to blush. "And the worst of it is that I can't even wish for Obi-Wan to renounce his vows, not when they mean so much to him."

Padmé shifted awkwardly.

Adrina sighed. "It was different for Anakin. He took the vow, but he didn't believe in them in the same way as Obi-Wan. I knew Anakin would be happy with you if he was not a Jedi." The implication of what she left unsaid lanced her with fresh pain. "Love simply isn't enough. Not in my experience." Her father disowned her, and now Obi-Wan…. "It was easier when I believed he didn't love me. It was easier to suffer alone, to accept that I was the only one in love. To know he loves me, but…."

Alone. Unwanted. Alone. Adrina tried to push the voices aside. There were some things she couldn't voice to anyone. Padmé reached over and clasped her hands, stopping Adrina from spiraling.

Adrina's smile wobbled. Adrina's comlink beeped. She groaned. "I'm so sorry, Padmé."

"Don't worry about it. I'm used to it," Padmé laughed, but it was laced with sadness

"This is Healer Skywalker," Adrina said.

"Where are you?" Anakin's deadly calm concerned Adrina and Padmé. Padmé's hand went to her throat. Adrina gave her a reassuring smile.

"I'm with Padmé at her apartment. Why?"

"Get back to the Temple right now."

"Alright," Adrina kept her voice even. "I'm on my way. What happened?"

"Just get back here," Anakin snapped and the line went dead.

Dread sank deep in Adrina's stomach. Something was very, very wrong. "I'm so sorry, Padmé."

Padmé mustered a smile. "Go. It's alright. I understand."

Adrina bolted.