Chapter 6: Happily, Ever After
Thanks for all the reviews.
I went back and had Isobel eat Draco after she bit him. You know, to hide the evidence. Because she's smart like that.
I'd kill for a fanart of Isobel to use as the picture for this story. Glasses with Spellotape included of course.
It's a bit on the short side.
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On the last day of school, Amelia Bones paid Harry and Isobel a visit. She hustled them into an empty classroom and sat Harry down. "Draco Malfoy is missing," she said without preamble.
"Yeah?" Harry said, looking at her confused. Isobel was keeping an eye on the woman. She didn't trust that she was going to treat Harry right.
"You were the last one seen with him," Bones stated, taking out her notebook. "His mother also believes you had something to do with it," she added, referring to her notes.
"I don't know what to tell you. He yelled at me about ruining his life. I laughed at him and left him fuming," the teen said, slouched down in the chair.
"You have an animosity with the boy," she pointed out.
"He's a prat, but a harmless one," Harry said, chuckling out loud. He reached up and scratched Isobel under the chin.
"Your snake looks like it has eaten recently," she observed, making a note.
"She is allowed to eat," he said, getting defensive. "I gave her a couple of dead ferrets just the other day. Ask Hagrid. He supplies them for me," he stated, which was all true to a point. He had given her one, it overstuffed her, and she was overly full now. She had a bellyache. He had to give her a tonic to relieve it.
"Oh, I will be," she stated, flipping her notebook closed and standing. "I will be watching you, young man." She then left the room.
"I am so glad this war is over," Harry said with a sigh. "Now you don't have to eat anyone else," he added, looking at his snake and rubbing her head.
"Stupid bitch," Isobel stated, but without any heat.
"She's just doing her job," Harry hissed back. He didn't hate the woman for doing what she must, but it was hard to not dislike the hate she had for him. He'd never been on the bad side of the law before, for all his relatives had told the neighbors he was growing up.
"I bloody well know that," the snake said, curling up on the table. "That doesn't mean I have to fucking like it," she stated, moving her head back and forth. She was extra touchy because she ached.
"How's your belly?" Harry asked, changing the subject.
"Better, but still sore," she replied, stretching out to her full length. There was a definite bulge in her middle from all the men she ate the other day. "I'll have them all digested in a few days," she said, proudly.
"I'm surprised Tommy boy didn't give you an even worse upset stomach," the teen said, rubbing the lump and feeling how hard it was. "I mean, throwing up indigestion," he stated, thinking projectile vomiting.
"I've got a fucking iron gut," she stated, proudly. "Let's get the fuck out of here. You need to fucking pack and I want to sit on my tree," she said, slithering to his shoulders.
"Yeah," Harry said, adjusting her and going to do just that.
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Since no one knew Voldy was dead, bar Sirius, the Order kept meeting discussing what to do now that the horcruxes were destroyed. Sirius was keeping it to himself, because if he told them, then he'd have to implicate Harry in the murder of six individuals, like Draco Malfoy, and the five Death Eaters, including Bellatrix. Not to mention Ole Voldy himself, making it seven. He wasn't going to do that to his godson.
Snape told them that Voldy hadn't been seen in a few weeks and was believed to be recruiting overseas. Many of the Death Eaters had disappeared and Bellatrix was dead. Her head had melted due to basilisk venom, though no one could explain how that happened.
When they asked Harry, he shrugged and said, "Beats me. I was at school."
Harry and Isobel decided to hit the books. They were trying to find a spirit capturing spell. One that would put a wraith in a jar, or amber. They thought if they did that, they'd keep Voldy as a pet of sorts and then Harry could keep the horcrux. That way he would still be a parselmouth.
"Hey, Harry," Sirius said to him one day about four days into the vacation, "do you want to become an animagus?"
"Of course," Harry said, immediately.
"I thought, maybe if you were a snake, you'd keep your parseltongue ability," his godfather said, a bit bashfully.
"That is a great theory," the teen said, going and hugging the man. "Even if I'm not a snake, I'm coming up with ways to keep them anyway. I'm not giving up Isobel," he stated, like it was a promise.
"No, I can see that you love that old cantankerous snake," the other man said, ruffling his hair.
"You bet he does, arsehat. And I'll fucking show you cantankerous," Isobel said, petrifying Sirius as she came into the room.
"What did you do that for? You are cantankerous," the teen asked, letting her climb up his legs to his torso.
"Yeah, but only you get to fucking call me names," she insisted, putting her mouth near his ear, making her tongue tickle his face.
"Stop that," he said, batting that tongue away.
"What were you talking about when I came in?" she asked as they waited for Sirius to unfreeze. So, he told her, and she said, "That was actually fucking smart of him."
"He does have some good ideas now and then," Harry said, defending his godfather, who woke up right at that moment.
"Shite, she did it again, didn't she?" the dogman said, looking at Isobel, but not in the eyes.
"Yup," Harry said, smiling at the man's misfortune.
"Is there any way we can get her to stop that?" Sirius asked, keeping his eyes diverted.
"Probably not," the teen confessed, laughing on his way out of the room. Sirius and Harry spent many nights going over the meditation of becoming an animagus, and Harry was coming along nicely. Isobel couldn't be in the same room with them because she didn't have the patience to help.
Time moved on and it was now time for Harry's birthday. This time he wanted to go to a theme park. It took a lot of debating and research, but they finally settled on Chessington World of Adventures. Harry because he wanted to go on the rides. Isobel because she wanted to see the animals.
"Harry, you can't take the snake," Sirius said, seriously. They had decided not to bring Harry's friends this time. It was just going to be him and Harry. And the ruddy snake.
"Sure, I can," the teen said, just as seriously. He wanted Isobel to always be with him. Until such a time he couldn't talk to her, which he hoped never happened.
"Why can't he, motherfucker?" Isobel hissed, getting in Sirius' face, making the man back off.
"Who's going to hold her while you're riding the rides?" the dogman tried to reason, backing away from the irate snake, until he sat in the chair behind him with a thump.
"She can sit on the sidelines," Harry said with a shrug.
"I can take care of my fucking self," the snake said, moving side to side in agitation. "I'm one thousand fucking years old," she said, using the same argument she always used.
"She says she can take care of herself," Harry translated, petting her on the head to calm her down.
"She's a six-foot venomous snake. What if she bites someone?" Sirius tried again.
"Sirius, she has better control than that. She'll petrify before she bites," Harry said, laughing.
"The Statute of Secrecy," his godfather pointed out.
"He's right, Isobel," Harry said, slumping a bit. "If I take you, I can't go on the rides," he said, glumly.
"I'll just stay with your fucking dogfather. I'll let the bastard hold me," she conceded, giving him a snake hug. She really wanted to go. She didn't want to lose any time with him. "I promise, I'll bloody well behave," she assured him, looking him dead in the eye.
"Swear it," Harry said in English.
"I fucking swear it," she hissed.
"She swears that she will stay with you and not break the Statute," Harry said, beaming like a loon.
"We're going to regret this," Sirius said, sighing in defeat.
They actually didn't regret it. Isobel stayed with Sirius while Harry rode the rides, then Harry would let Sirius take a turn. They rode the train and took the tour and Isobel behaved really well. Though if the groundskeepers had heard the fight that went on in the snake house, they might have kicked them out.
"Let us out," one snake cried out to Harry.
"I can't do that," Harry said back, wary that they could tell he was a parselmouth.
"You fucken wanker, you let that old bitch on your shoulders out. Why can't you let us out?" another snake said, coming to the front of his glass enclosure.
"How can you see Isobel?" the teen asked, changing the subject.
"We can smell her, dumbarse," another snake said, slithering back and forth in his cage.
"Oh," was all Harry could say to that.
"So, why won't you let us out?" the first snake said, lifting up to his full height.
"Because he can't, you fucken moron," Isobel said, from Harry's shoulder, using her gaze to freeze the first snake. "Any other stupid fucking questions?" she asked the other snakes, who all backed off. "I thought not, arseholes. Get it through your pea-brains. You've got it good here. You've got your bloody meals brought to you weekly and a clean place to fucking live. Out there, there are fucking predators that will eat you," she said, glaring at them, though they couldn't see her.
"But we're in cages, and we have to listen to these morons all day long," one snake whinged. "The kids bang on our enclosures and hurt our ears," it continued, coiling and uncoiling.
"Who fucking cares, you bloody crybaby. At least you're fucking alive," Isobel stated, sniffing as well as a snake can sniff. "I spent a thousand years in a cold, wet, dark cave. You have heat lamps, a dry space, and lights. I don't want you hear your fucking whinging," she stated, then turned her head and froze the whinging snake. "Harry, get me out of here," she hissed, tickling his cheek with her tongue.
Harry just turned and left.
Other than that experience, the two of them had a great time with Sirius. They then returned to Grimmuald Place and had a party with Harry's friends.
The rest of the summer went by swiftly. Harry did his homework, he and his snake continued looking for that spell, and he found his animagus form which was unfortunately not a snake. Isobel and he were very disappointed.
He was a mongoose, which is said to be the enemy of cobras. That is myth though, according to Isobel. Harry wasn't sure, he didn't feel the need to hunt down any snakes, so there was that.
Either way, his form was small enough to get him into tiny places and he could sneak around and listen in on the Order meetings if he were so inclined to. He wasn't, but the option was there.
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Dumbledore called him to talk one day about a week before school was to start. "Harry, my boy, have you had any more dreams or visions?" the old man asked, peering over his half-moon spectacles. Harry couldn't figure out if the man thought that made him look wise, or did he just see better that way?
"Nope," was all Harry said, making sure not to look the headmaster in the eye.
"None at all?" Dumbledore persisted, leaning forward a bit.
"No," the teen said, firmly.
"He said 'no', you pushy bastard," Isobel said, petrifying the old man. "Come on, Harry. Let's fucking leave," she said, nudging the boy with her head. "Stupid fucking old men and their bloody questions."
"You'd think they'd get it by now that the dark lord is dead," Harry said as they left the room. "I mean, it's been two months since anyone has seen him. Snape can't be that stupid."
The Order were still meeting about what to do about Voldy and his Death Eaters, even though there had been no raids, no missing persons, and no acts of war of any kind. They were still guarding the prophecy and looking for any signs of horcruxes, just in case.
"Never underestimate the stupidity of bloody humans," Isobel said sagely, nodding her head in a wisely manner.
"Hey!" Harry said in English.
She just laughed and they continued on.
Dumbledore was not happy that Isobel had frozen him, and he let Harry know that. Isobel petrified him again and they walked away again. When asked why they were doing that, Harry said, "I'm on summer vacation, he has no authority over me right now. I don't have to answer to him."
Sirius laughed his arse off and told the old man to leave his godson alone.
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The summer came to a close and Harry and his friends were on the train. It was weird not to have Malfoy drop by, but a welcome weirdness. His friends commented on it, but they welcomed it too.
"I hope it's a quiet year this year," Harry said, kicking his feet in front of him and crossing the ankles. Luna was sitting on his left, while Hermione and Neville were on the opposite bench.
"Last year was mostly quiet," Hermione pointed out. Then she got a smug look on her face. "There was no 'death and destruction'." She looked pointedly at Luna, then at the boys.
"That was because Sirius stopped it before it could happen, Miss Smarty-pants," Harry snapped, anger in his tone. "I was there, so I do know what I'm talking about."
"Sorry," she said, sounding contrite.
"Harry, she didn't know," Luna said, putting her hand on Harry's arm.
"That doesn't mean she gets to get all superior," Harry said, full of ire.
"That's right, fucking know-it-all bitch," Isobel said, turning her gaze to Hermione and freezing her.
"I know you two are mad at her, but she is our friend," Neville stated, trying to defuse the situation.
"I know, but her attitude…" Harry said, taking a deep breath, and attempting to calm down.
"She's loads better than she was in first year," Neville pointed out, which was true.
"You're right there," Harry said with a smile. "Let her alone, okay?" he said to Isobel.
"As long as she drops that 'I'm better than you are' fucking attitude," the snake said, still staring at the bushy-haired young woman.
"We're doomed," Harry joked, then he started joking with Neville and Luna until Hermione woke back up. When she did, she just blushed and they all moved on to the topic of NEWTs. It was going to be a tough year for them.
The Welcoming Feast was fun and filling. The first week of school was mostly revising what they had learned in the last six years. Even Snape was going over what they should have been taught. Hermione was in a complete meltdown. She didn't know half of the DADA curriculum.
"Hermione, calm down. You can order the books via owl. I'll let you use Hedwig. She needs the exercise anyway," Harry said, the day after the week ended. It was Saturday and she was pulling her hair out over that class in particular.
"Okay, thanks, Harry," she said, kissing him on the cheek and running to fill out the order form.
"You're welcome," he said, watching her go.
"Harry, do we need to talk about the fucking birds and bees?" Isobel asked, warily. She really didn't want to have that conversation with her friend, but she didn't want him going in blind either.
"What? No," Harry said, blushing, making everyone around him wonder what his snake had said. "Sirius took care of that. Besides, I think of Hermione like a sister." His blush faded and he got a thoughtful look on his face.
"A sister, huh? That's good because you two would be a bloody horrible couple," she predicted.
"How do you figure that?" he wanted to know, picking her up and going to his bed. He was tired after a busy week of revision.
"You get too angry over the things she says," the snake explained, in simple terms.
"I can see that," he agreed. "I think I like Luna better anyway," he added, his cheeks turning bright pink.
"I can get fucking behind that," Isobel stated, coiling up on the end of his bed. "She's perfect for you. She likes me too." She put her head on her coils and was quickly going to sleep.
"There is that," he agreed, relaxing on his bed for a quick nap before lunch.
"We should go to the Come and Go Room and ask for a book with the soul jar spell," the basilisk said with a flash of inspiration.
"Hot damn, that's a great idea," Harry said, getting up and putting on his shoes.
"I meant after our fucking nap," she hissed, getting upset that her nap was being interrupted.
"Are you bloody kidding? We can get this done now," the teen said, picking her up and throwing her on his shoulders and all but running out of the room.
"Merlin be-damned wanker, slow the fuck down before you drop me," she hissed as he booked it to the Room of Requirements.
Harry got to the room and paced in front of the wall three times asking for information on spirit/wraith/soul traps. A door appeared and inside there were three books that had titles depicting what he was looking for. There was a chair, an oil lamp, and a table. He put Isobel down and called for Dobby.
"What can Dobby be doing for Master?" Dobby said as he appeared. He was looking spiffy in his toddler's jumper and trousers.
"Can you get Isobel's tree, and me some biscuits and a fizzy drink?" Harry asked his friend.
"I can," Dobby said, snapping his fingers and the tree appeared in the corner of the room, mini sun, and all. There was a plate of cookies and a glass of soda on the table.
"Thanks, Dobby," Harry said, and he started reading. His hand reached for a biscuit, and he brought it to his mouth without even removing his eyes from the book.
Isobel was climbing her tree, bound and determined to get her nap in.
"Dobby is more than happy to help," the little guy said and then he popped away.
Harry read through lunch and would have read through dinner if Isobel hadn't told him to go and eat. "You can come back," she insisted.
"Fine," he said, putting the second book down and going to the door. "We're going to have to have Sirius do the ritual," he said as they went, Isobel on his shoulders.
"Why?"
"If I do it, it might pull the horcrux from my head, which is what we're trying to avoid," he explained, munching on a biscuit as he entered the Great Hall. He plopped down next to Neville.
"Where have you been?" Hermione asked, a bit pushy, but not nearly as bad as a few years ago.
"Studying," he answered honestly.
"Oh," was all she could say to that.
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Luna asked, having joined their table for meals, since three years ago.
"Not quite, I'm not sure," Harry said, thinking of three spells that might work. However, he wanted Sirius to look them over.
"I'm sure you will," she said, beaming at him.
"Thanks, Luna," he smiled back at her. "Say, Luna. Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?" he asked, still grinning at her.
"That would be lovely," she said, her smile getting wider.
"It's a date then," he said, getting nudged by Neville.
They ate their dinner in compatible conversation and Harry went back to the RoR and continued his search for the spell he wanted. It took the rest of the night, he spent it all in that chair, but he found the right one. He went back to his bed and grabbed some sleep.
The next afternoon, he called Sirius on the mirror, and explained the situation.
"You mean to tell me you want me to capture Voldy's soul and put it in a jar, so you and Isobel can keep it on a shelf? Have I got that right?" Sirius asked, flabbergasted. He was caught completely flatfooted.
"Well, yes. Is that going to be a problem?" Harry asked, tilting his head a bit in confusion.
"Is that going to be a problem he says," the dogman mumbled. "You really don't see the issue with this?" he asked, staring at his godson.
"No, I really don't," Harry stated, still looking at Sirius like he was blowing it all out of proportion.
"What if Voldy gets free?" was the next question.
"The jar is breakproof, and Isobel will be freezing him on a regular basis," Harry assured the man.
"Fine, you know what, I'll do it," Sirius said, mostly because it would be the greatest prank he ever pulled. The whole world would never know what happened to the Great Voldemort and he'd be in a jar on the Potter's shelf getting dusty.
Harry gave him the ritual and it had to be done on Halloween. Sirius said he'd get it done and Harry trusted him.
Harry and Luna had a great time on their date, and they had many more during the month. Then came Halloween. The boy and his snake tried to relax that night, but they were wound up tight. They went to the feast and celebrated with everyone else. Isobel only petrified Snape and Dumbledore because she really hated them.
"I got him," Sirius told Harry over the mirror, showing him the jar with the wraith.
"That's great," Harry said, all but jumping up and down as he sat on his bed. The rest of the dorm was asleep. "Do you want to meet at the Shrieking Shack?"
"Yeah, let's meet there," his godfather agreed, looking a bit wiped out from the ritual. "I don't want to be around this… man any longer than I have to," he added, holding the jar at arm's length.
"No problem, we'll be there in ten," Harry said disconnecting. "Isobel, wake up," he told his snake.
"Get bent," she hissed back as she snuggled further down in her coils.
"Sirius got the wraith," he said, trying to entice her.
"I don't fucken care," she insisted, never even opening her eyes.
"Fine, I'll leave you here," he said, grabbing his invisibility cloak. He made his way down and after hugging and thanking Sirius, Harry took the jar. "I can't thank you enough for this," he said, looking at the angry wraith trying to break the jar.
"I'd do anything for you, kid," Sirius said, seriously.
"I'm not a kid," Harry said, though his smile took any firmness away.
"I know, you're all grown up now," Sirius said, looking at him as if with new eyes.
"I'll always be your godson," the teen said with gravity.
"You'd better get back. McGonagall is quite the bitch when she wants to be," his godfather said, going to leave himself.
"When do you think the Order is going to understand the Voldy is gone?" Harry asked, holding up the jar.
"As long as you have your scar, I think Dumbledore is going to make them fight," Sirius sighed, slumping his shoulders.
"I'm not going to take the blame for that. That's all on the old man," the teen stated, shrugging his shoulders.
"I agree. I've tried to tell them numerous times that the dark lord is gone, but Albus insists that it is not true," the dogman said, then he hugged Harry one more time and gently pushed him to the tunnel. "Get to bed, it'll be a long day for you tomorrow."
"Yeah," Harry agreed and started running down the tunnel, throwing his cloak over his head, the jar deep in his trouser pocket.
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It was a quiet year for everyone. No dark lord, no Death Eaters, no Draco, no creatures out to eat Harry or kill the student body. No one disappeared, no one was killed, no one tested Harry's daring. Only magical tests, written tests, and more school tests. Which Harry was pretty sure he did well on. He was just glad this was his last year of school.
Though his ring did vibrate a few times, much to Isobel's displeasure. Harry never did find out who tried to potion him, but he didn't care, he avoided it that was all he cared about.
"You should let me bite those skanks," Isobel ranted, slithering back and forth in front of him on his bed.
"Why? It's over and nothing happened. Thanks to you and this marvelous ring," Harry said, fingering the ring in question. "Besides, you don't know who they are," he pointed out.
"But what if you didn't have that fucking ring? I might not be able to stop you from a bloody love crazed frenzy," she persisted, not liking that scenario.
"Well, that's not going to happen, so quit fretting," he said, rubbing the top of her head, just where she liked it.
Once it was found out that he had a way to detect potions, the attempts stopped. That and many girls that looked in his direction, that weren't Luna Lovegood, were petrified. It got to the point that even a glance his way could get you frozen. Many weren't taking the chance anymore.
The school year ended with Hermione being top of the class, no big surprise there. Harry was in the top ten, which was nice to see, with Neville not far behind. Ron, well since his broken friendship with the group, his grades slipped. He was in the lower twenties. He still graduated so that was all that counted.
"Let's get the fuck out of here," Isobel said, more than willing to be rid of Hogwarts.
"This has been your home for over a thousand years, aren't you going to miss it?" Harry asked, looking around at the stone walls and the open windows.
"I'm a fucking snake. I want heat, light and dry air. Not the fucking cold, damp and dark," she stated, coiling up on his lap. They were seated on his bed, waiting for time for the train to leave.
"How did you survive in such conditions?" he wondered aloud.
"Magic," she said, humming at his fingers scratching at her Spellotape. "If I wasn't a magical snake, I would have died," she stated, adjusting her head.
"I guess I can see that," he said, then the bell tolled, and it was time to leave. "Well, I am going to miss this place," he stated, putting her on his shoulders and getting his trunk.
"That's because you're a fucking idiot," she stated as fact.
"Whatever," he said with a laugh as he went to the train.
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Time went on and Harry and Luna got married and had children. Each of those two children were parselmouths. They also had the most colorful language of all the children of Hogwarts.
Harry was a Quidditch star and Luna was a Magizoologist. Isobel stayed in the family and when Harry was over a hundred years old, they decided to throw Voldy's soul jar through the Veil of Death and have the goblins take care of the last horcrux.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Isobel asked the elderly Harry. She was snuggly wrapped around his midriff with her head on his shoulder.
"Yes," the old man said, going to the Veil and tossing the jar through.
The goblin that had come with them came up to him and tapped his famous scar with a crystal and pulled out the horcrux. Then threw it through the Veil too.
"Harry, can you understand me?" Isobel asked, putting her face up to her friend's face. He was quite used to it. They had been friends for ninety years.
"Yes," Harry said in English. "Huh, I can understand it, but I can't speak it," he said, and looked her in the eyes. "Your gaze doesn't seem to be affecting me either," he pointed out.
"I guess having the fucking horcrux in for so long had an effect on you," she said, nuzzling his chin. "I'm so fucking happy," she stated, curling around him. "We knew it had some fucking effect on you when the kids were born bloody parselmouths," she pointed out.
"There is that," he said, scratching her chin. She didn't wear glasses anymore. She was completely blind now. Her sight gave out fifty years ago. Harry was her eyes. She could still petrify someone if they looked in her eyes, but she couldn't see them. It was all blobs to her now.
"Well, thus ends the legend of Voldemort," Isobel stated, with a sarcastic tone.
"Hooray," Harry said, just as sarcastically.
"Do you think the Order will stop hunting him now?" she asked as they moved out of the Ministry of Magic.
"Merlin, I hope so," he said, laughing. The Order in one form or another was still hunting down rumors of Voldemort even after all these years.
"Fucking Idiots," was all Isobel had to say on that.
"Well at least you have me," Harry said, going to the apparation point to go home. His bones were achy, and he wanted to kiss his wife.
"No, motherfucker, at least you have me," Isobel said, snapping her jaws at him.
"Yes, Isobel, at least I have you," he agreed. His life would have been so much different if not for the near-sighted basilisk that banged her way into it. Of that, he was sure.