Sometimes Izuku wonders if his classmates feel their quirks the way he feels One For All. He wonders if their quirks are a constant presence in their bodies, always there on some level, never completely ignorable.
He does not think they do, at least not in the way he does. Does not think that they feel the constant thrum beneath their skin letting them know that their quirk is there, ready to come to life at a moment's notice.
When he had asked Uraraka about it during a late night study session, his words stumbling over themselves in an effort to make his point in his slap-happy state, she had just given him a funny look out of the side of her eyes as she patted his back and told him that maybe it was time for him to go to bed.
And the noticing had only gotten worse after he had dreamed of the vestiges. Before that, One For All had always been present, but now it is electric in his veins. Incessant.
He does not bring it up to his friends though, not even as each new quirk he unlocks makes it just slightly harder to forget the looming sensation of One For All. He does not bring it up no matter how many comments his friends make about how strange his quirk is, because he does not want them to look at him like his old classmates had looked at him when he was quirkless. Because if he admits to them why his quirk is weird and it changes how they look at him, Izuku does not think he could ever properly recover. So he does not bring it up, no matter how much he wants to. Izuku has learned to hold his tongue.
Some days though, it is harder to keep it to himself. Harder to hold his secret back when it feels like One For All is growing bigger by the day inside him. Especially on the days when it feels like Izuku is going to be consumed whole by the quirk, a walking puppet for the power. On the days when it feels like One For All is changing him from the inside out, molding him into the perfect Hero.
He does keep it quiet though.
Years of shoving away the half whispered thoughts at the back of his head have made Izuku an expert in denial. Those thoughts are just flights of fancy anyways. Uraraka might not have known what he was talking about when he first asked her, but that was just because she has always had her quirk. She has never had to step into a power that did not grow with her.
None of them have.
Izuku knows he might be able to ask All Might about it, knows All Might would probably want him to ask about it. But All Might has already given up so much for him, and is already doing so much to track down the quirks of the other holders. Izuku does not want to put more of a burden on him than he already has. He can handle this by himself. He knows he can.
All he has to do is keep showing up to class, keep getting better, keep growing into this power. Keep striving for that moment where he no longer has to desperately tread water just to keep his head above the surface and, hoping the swell of unmatched power will pass him by, start riding the wave instead.
In order to do that though, in order to step fully into this power and become the Hero he has always wanted to be, Izuku needs to get up out of his bed and actually start his day. He has already missed his morning run, so he will need to find some time to squeeze it in later. Maybe right after class, just before his study session with Uraraka, Iida, Todoroki, Yaoyorozu, and whoever else decided to sit in. He might be a little late, but Izuku knew Iida would only lecture him a little and Uraraka knows his section of notes almost as well as he does by this point.
The muscles in his stomach clench as he forces himself to sit up, an ache settling into his core as he does. It is almost too much for Izuku to bear, the knowledge that this is going to be a bad day for him despite all his best efforts. Part of him just wants to lay back down, take a day to just relax and recollect himself. But All Might did not become the best Hero and make One For All his own by wasting entire days away. So Izuku cannot either.
He dresses without thought just in time for Iida's prompt knock on his door, "Midoriya! We must be leaving for class soon and you have not yet come down for breakfast!"
"Right here, ready to go," Izuku says as he opens his door and offers Iida the best smile he can. It must work because Iida does not call him on his lie.
"You must do better about eating breakfast Midoriya! It is the most important meal of the day and we are training to be Heroes. It is important that we are well fed and energized for our day so that we can make the most of it!" Iida says as Izuku grabs his bag from next to his door and all the way down the hallway to the elevator.
"I promise I'll show up to breakfast for the rest of the week," Izuku says as the elevator starts to lower.
"I will hold you to that Midoriya," Iida says, giving Izuku a very serious look.
Izuku cracks his first genuine smile of the day as he looks up at his friend's serious face, "I know you will Iida, I'll keep it too."
And then something in the air seems to shift around them as the doors slide open. Izuku's heartbeat thrums hummingbird fast in his chest as the world narrows around him. In the back of his mind, some instinct or voice is screaming out to him that he is in danger, that Iida is in danger.
That they are both about to be attacked.
"Iida wait!" Izuku cries as the other boy takes a step forward. Iida turns to look back at Izuku, but Izuku is already moving. One For All flies to the surface of his skin, ready to spring to life as Izuku steps forward, ready to defend them both from whatever has set his instincts on edge. Ready to keep Iida safe.
A figure flies out at him as soon as he steps through the elevator doors and Izuku feels his heart leap into his throat as his hands come up to defend himself from his attacker. One For All sparks across his skin.
Then Uraraka makes contact with him, shouting out a loud greeting right into Izuku's ear as she grips him tightly around his shoulders.
"Deku! You're finally up!" She shouts, laughing in his ear.
"Midoriya, are you okay? You looked like you were being hunted for a moment there," Iida says, coming up to place a hand on Izuku's back. The last of Izuku's nervousness drains away at the touch and he allows himself to sink into his friend's hold.
"I'm fine Iida, just had a weird feeling," Izuku says. Because that is all it was, a weird feeling. They are in U.A., in the dorms that were built specifically to keep them safe from outside harm. There is no way a villain could have gotten in here without tripping several alarms. Or at least alerting the several classmates he can see loitering in the area.
There is no reason for Izuku to be scared. There is no reason for Izuku to be afraid of being attacked, not here. He is fine. Everyone is safe.
"Alright, if you're sure." Iida sounds unsure, but Izuku gives them both a smile as they pull apart and it seems to convince them, even if that feeling in the back of his head is still a siren screaming that they are in danger, that they are going to be attacked. It has gone down, but it has not gone away, it feels like it will never go away.
"Come on, let's start heading to class. Deku promised to review for Aizawa-sensei's ethics class with me while we walked and I am going to be very upset if I don't get my review," Uraraka says as she grabs Izuku's arm and drags him behind her.
"Uraraka really! I must insist you desist from this behavior!" Iida shouts as he rushes to catch up
with them. Brightness bubbles up inside Izuku as he watches his friends squabble as they walk. The feeling in the back of his mind telling him that they are all in danger, the feeling of One For All pressing up against his skin, quiets a little.
Izuku almost feels alone in his skin again.
"Okay! Deku! Ethics!" Uraraka says once they are out of the dorms. Izuku gives her a smile and starts reviewing the laws put in place when Hero work started to become a legal profession rather than people moving to help others in the moment.
Kaminari and Yaoyorozu join them as they walk as well, Yaoyorozu adding in her own remembered notes as they go. More of their classmates walk with them, but no one else is really joining in on their conversation, preferring to have their own conversations as they walk. And knowing they are there, that they are safe, that Izuku could move and protect them at the slightest sign of danger, makes him feel settled in his skin.
They reach their classroom and gather around Uraraka's desk to continue reviewing, much to Iida's expressed displeasure. But their group only truly disperses when Aizawa-sensei makes his way into the room in his sleeping bag.
Izuku is just about to sit down in his seat when he sees Aizawa-sensei's eyes turn molten red and his hair fly into the air as Erasure snaps on to call the class to attention.
Something in the back of Izuku's mind screams on high alert as iron coats the back of his throat and his heart squeezes painfully tight in his chest. His hand comes up to clutch at the spot, convinced that something is wrong and that if he can just hold his body together he can get through it just like he has every other time his body has hurt like this.
But then his knees wobble and then give out from under him as his vision goes dark around the edges and his blood rushes in his ears, a roaring wave that eclipses everything around him and then drags him down in its depths.
When Shouta walks into his homeroom, the kids are scattered around the room talking to each other, mostly about trivial stuff it sounds like, but he can hear at least one conversation reviewing things from his last few classes. But as soon as they see him, they start to take their seats.
Shouta makes his way to the lectern before activating Erasure to call them to attention, intending to start the day's activities. A few of them are still standing as he looks over them, but technically they have a minute still until class is officially set to begin, and they are all almost in their seats anyways, so he figures he can be lenient.
Only Midoriya does not sit down in his seat. He seems to freeze in the aisle as his hand comes up to grab at his chest, his freckles stand out starkly against his cheeks as all the blood seems to rush from his face.
"Midoriya?" Shouta calls out as several of the other students turn to look at the boy, confused murmurs spreading out among the class.
"Something's wrong," Jiro says, standing up as one of her earjacks raises into the air towards Midoriya, "Sensei something is wrong!"
And then Midoriya's legs seem to give out from under him and he crumples to the ground. His head smacks on his desk as he goes down with a sound that echoes through the still classroom before he finishes falling and lands in a heap on the floor.
For a moment after Midoriya hits the ground, it feels like everything and everyone holds their breath, waiting for Midoriya to get back to his feet like he always does. But that does not happen, Midoriya continues to lay on the floor and from where Shouta is standing, it does not look like he is even breathing.
"His heart!" Jiro shouts, lunging up onto Hagakure's desk, sparking everyone else into movement around her.
The class comes to life as they all move to get closer to Midoriya. Shouta is faster than all of them though, reaching Midoriya before any of them and collapsing to his knees to put his hand on the boy's shoulder.
"Everyone stay back!" He snaps at them as a few of them press into his vision. None of them look like they want to back up. But he needs them to give him and Midoriya space. Especially now that he can tell that Midoriya is still underneath his hands, that he is not breathing.
"Sensei! His heart!" Jiro protests. She sounds so scared and Shouta wishes he could comfort her, he really does. He wants to promise her that everything is going to be alright. But he is not going to lie to them, and he needs to get Midoriya's heart restarted.
"I know!" Shouta says as he shifts Midoriya onto his back, "Iida, go get Recovery Girl."
He does not look up from Midoriya as he barks the order out, trusting that Iida will do as he is told without further prompting. Instead he focuses on making sure that Midoriya is laid out properly before lacing one hand inside the other and placing them in the center of the boy's chest.
Shouta takes a deep breath as he locks his elbows. Midoriya is so still under his hands and it is so unnatural, it leaves Shouta feeling like all the air is being dragged out of his throat each time he breathes before it can reach his lungs.
But he can still fix this situation. He can still save Midoriya. He just has to start chest compressions.
So that is what Shouta does.
His whole body rocks with the movement as he pushes the heel of his palm into Midoriya's chest, beating the kid's heart for him for thirty fast beats. Then he lifts his hands from Midoriya's chest to make sure that his airways are clear before he pinches Midoriya's nose close and fills the kid's lungs with air twice before he resumes chest compressions.
It does not feel like enough. If feels like he can feel Midoriya slipping away under his fingertips. But there is nothing else Shouta can do for Midoriya in this moment. So he continues providing CPR and hopes that Recovery Girl arrives soon.
Ochako grips Jiro's hand in hers until she cannot feel her fingers anymore. She would feel bad about it if Jiro were not gripping her back just as hard though. Behind her, someone grips her shoulder tightly. Another person grips her arm.
All she can focus on though is the feeling of Jiro's hand trembling just slightly. Her whole body leaning forward as her ear jacks strain in the air in front of her, listening to Deku while Aizawa- sensei bends over him and tries to keep his heart going.
At least, that's what Ochako assumes Aizawa-sensei is doing. Jiro had said there was something wrong with Deku's heart when he collapsed, but she had not said what was wrong. She had not
given any other indication as to what is going on. Ochako is not sure that Aizawa-sensei even properly knows what is happening, though he had reacted fast enough to Izuku's collapse that he might. But he might not, Jiro might be the only one who knows. And she is not telling.
So they are all waiting in tense silence for any sign, from either Aizawa-sensei or Jiro, that things are going to be okay, that Deku is going to get back up again. Just like he always does.
Deku does not get up again though.
He just lays there, completely still except for the movements Aizawa-sensei forces on him.
The pit in Ochako's gut swirls with dread and anxiety as she watches the scene unfold in front of her, absolutely helpless to do anything else. She hates it, she hates that she cannot help him. She hates that she is helpless to do anything but watch from the sidelines, that Jiro who is listening to Deku's body is more useful than she is right now.
She hates that Izuku is still not breathing, that Jiro keeps leaning just slightly forward, her shoulders a tense line in front of Ochako, no signs of relief or relaxation, only more and more worry.
And with every passing second, Ochako feels like the tension in the room gets higher and higher, building to some unknown climax. The hand she has wrapped around Jiro's clutches impossibly tighter with mindless worry.
From somewhere behind her, Ochako thinks she might hear someone whispering just under their breath, only noticeable due to the silence that is bearing down on them and filling the space until any deviation is like a bomb going off. She is not sure what the person is saying, or who it even is. It sounds almost rhythmic though, and it eases something inside her even as Deku continues to lie still and the tension ratchets up another notch.
They all seem to jump as one when the door to their classroom is thrown open with a loud bang and Iida runs back inside, chest heaving with exertion.
Recovery Girl is right behind him, her robots carrying a stretcher between them. They move as a unit to Aizawa-sensei's side and he shifts away from Deku's body for the first time since Deku collapsed, in order for the robots to lift him up onto their stretcher.
It seems like they have barely gotten him settled before the robots are racing out of the room again, whisking Deku away.
Ochako wants to race after them. Every cell in her being is telling her that she should race after them, to follow through and make sure that Deku is alright. Because if she does not follow through, then people get hurt and Deku is her friend and she cannot lose him.
She takes a step forward, fully intending to race after the robots. But all her classmates holding onto her, all her points of connection, keep her right there, only a single footstep closer to Deku but still with all of them.
"Eraser, with me," Recovery Girl snaps, and Ochako does not think she has ever heard the old Hero sound so stern before. So scared.
"My class," Aizawa-sensei protests even as he takes a step toward Recovery Girl.
"I've taken the liberty of calling for Mic, they'll be taken care of. Now come on, you need to explain to me what happened so that I can help him properly," Recovery Girl says, already turning
back toward the door.
Aizawa-sensei is only a half step behind her as they leave, the door shutting with a soft, final click behind them,
The tension in the room does not dissipate though, it stays exactly where it is.
"His heart, it just stopped." Jiro whispers, and there is something broken about her voice, "There wasn't anything wrong with it and then it just stopped. It just stopped."
"He's gonna be alright," Iida says, straightening up and squaring his shoulders.
"How do you know?" Shoji asks, his voice desolate. And Uraraka realizes he might have some inlinking to what is going on with Deku as well with his quirk. It might not be as refined as Jiro's, but he must have been trying to hear just as hard as she had been.
"Come on, it's Midobro, he's taken on villains solo, when has he ever not been okay?" Kirishima says, and Ockaho can practically see the sharp smile he is giving to try and cheer up their classmates.
"Yeah! Kirishima's right, Midoriya's gonna be back in class this time tomorrow asking to borrow our notes!" Kaminari adds.
More and more people start to agree. But Ochako cannot help but think that they are all just fooling themselves, clinging to a false hope on the chance it happens to be true. And with Jiro still standing frozen in front of her, it is hard to rally and play along.
She thinks the platitudes and the reassurances taste as false as they sound.
Toshinori is sitting at his desk, staring down at his notecards for his next Heroics 101 class, his teaching book open next to them as he tries to refine his lesson plan for the day when the bell rings, signaling the start of the school day.
"Hey! All Might!" Mic calls out to him. Toshinori looks up at him, a smile already forming across his face as he catches sight of the boisterous Hero.
As he does, something spikes like a lance through his chest, setting every nerve ending in his body on fire.
His vision goes white, then black with pain. Endless moments pass where the pain is everything he is and all he knows. It surrounds him and weaves through him until he is practically electric with it.
The only thing he has ever felt like it before, was when All For One dug his hand into Toshinori's side and took as much of him as the villain could, moments before Toshinori ended their fight that night all together. It feels like a career ending injury.
Only he is not out on a battlefield fighting for his life and for the lives of everyone All For One has not managed to hurt yet, he is not avenging his teacher. He is in the U.A. teacher's lounge, and it has been years since he had a flareup this bad.
Toshinori blinks the spots from his eyes, trying to catch his breath even when it feels like his lung can never hold enough air on a good day.
Mic's face swims into view as he concentrates. The other Hero's face is creased over with concern,
and Toshinor thinks he might have a hand on Toshinori's shoulder.
He does not understand why for a moment, because even when he was having the worst of the flareups right after his fight with All For One, he had been able to conceal the vast majority of his pain from Nighteye and most of the doctors who were treating him at the time. The only ones he had not been able to fool had been Gran Torino and Recovery Girl, and even then he is not sure they were just making educated guesses based on knowing him for so long.
So surely he had not let any of his coworkers know how much pain he was in just then. Even though it had hit him like a both out of the blue, surely he had not fallen so far out of practice.
And then Toshinori takes stock of where he actually is. He is on the floor, braced on his hands and knees. Mic is on his knees as well, and all the other teachers who were in the lounge with him are standing around him. Those he cannot see, he can feel staring at him. Their eyes weighing him down.
Scalding shame pools in his gut, burning through his veins, almost as hot as the pain. He has no idea what caused this flareup, but all he can think about right now is how incompetent he must look, the longest running number One Hero, the Symbol of Peace, reduced to a skeleton of a man collapsing to the floor from his chair because he was in a bit of pain.
Toshinori tries to push himself up to his feet, trying to put himself back together in the most dignified way possible. But Mic's hands pushes gently on his shoulder, keeping him on the floor as the other Hero tries to talk to him.
And it is almost as embarrassing as the fact that he fell to the ground in the first place how easy it is for Mic to keep him on the ground. Mic's mouth moves as he presses Toshinori's shoulder down, but he cannot make out what the Hero is saying to him as another wave of pain washes through him.
It is not as debilitating as the first one, but it still whites out the edges of his vision and sends his blood racing through his ears. It still makes him feel shaky, as if all the energy is being sucked out of him and into the pain.
Toshinori gags on the sharp sensation. The way the pain takes up his chest cavity, as if his very heart was being squeezed by an insubstantial hand. He tries to shove it to the side, to pack away his pain like he has so many times before.
But it feels unconquerable inside him. It feels a little like he is dying.
Toshinori has felt like he was dying before though, and he has moved past it. He can move past this as well. He has to.
"-y Girl," someone says as Toshnori forces himself to tune back into the world outside his pain. "I'm fine, I'm fine," Toshinori says, trying to force his way upwards again.
"You just collapsed, we're getting Recovery Girl," Mic says, giving Toshinori a strained smile, it does not meet his eyes though. His eyes are sharp as they rove across Toshinori's face, taking in every little detail.
"I really will be fine, it's just a flareup," Toshinori tries again, hoping desperately that his mask will stay firmly in place despite Mic's knowing eyes.
"I really don't think-" Mic says, but Toshinori brushes his hand off his shoulder as he collects his
legs underneath him and stands up.
There is still a pressure on his chest that has not abated. It is almost oppressive with its weight.
Toshinori can deal with it though. He is sure the pain is lessening. And he feels more settled now, he will not be taken by surprise by the pain again. Toshinori may not be the Number One Hero anymore, but people still look to him for support and strength, he cannot allow that image to falter now, not with tensions so high. The world has enough problems, Toshinori has to do all he can to support it.
"You should at least get checked out by her, even if it was a flareup, it seemed pretty serious," Mic says, shifting so that he can stand up with Toshinori.
"I'm sure it can wait till later today, I wouldn't want to take up her time while school is in session." There is almost a rhythm to the pain, a dull thudding that echoes through his chest every few seconds. The sensation is not as painful as the first lancing strike, but it is not exactly comfortable either.
Part of Toshinori wonders if he should relent as Mic gives him another searching look, if he should let on how much pain he is in, let the other Heroes know what is going on. Let them into his head and into his pain. But he knows he cannot, not when there are more important things to focus on.
"And I'm pretty sure Recovery Girl would rather be notified now so that she can decide if it's important enough to warrant her attention," Mic says, crossing his arms in front of him. Toshinori knows that Mic is trying to be helpful, trying to do his job as a Hero when he sees someone in pain.
That still does not stop the flash of irritation he feels at being coddled though. Toshinori said he was fine, and he even feels better now that the flareup has started to fade away. He feels less connected to the pain, as if whatever caused it has loosened its hold on his body. The knot inside him untightening and all the pain flowing between the threads rather than coursing through them.
He opens his mouth to refuse Recovery Girl again when Young Iida rushes past the windows of the teacher's lounge, hardly more than a blur that Toshinori's eyes just barely manage to track the progress of. Recovery Girl's bots are a moment behind him, moving almost as fast as the boy.
And that sets off every alarm bell in his head because he knows that those bots only move that fast when there is a true emergency on campus. Or when someone is dying.
"What's going on outside?" Toshinori asks quietly, almost under his breath as he moves past Mic to try and see out the windows.
"Hey, wait, get back here, you need to sit down at the very least," Mic snaps, moving up behind Toshinori. He can feel the other Hero move behind him and Toshinori assumes that Mic might be trying to grab onto him to guide him to a chair or something similar. But then Recovery Girl rushes past them on her own bot and Toshinori feels the blood inside him freeze.
"Something's wrong," Toshinori says, moving to make his way out of the room. He can feel the other teachers shift behind him as well, reacting to the steel in his voice and the haste of Recovery Girl.
Toshinori is out of the lounge and halfway down the hall before he throws himself against the wall as Recovery Girl, her bots, and Aizawa come rushing down the hall, moving at clip back towards the nurse's office. He can see it as the other Heroes move to the side as well.
"What's happening?" Mic asks from where he is standing right next to Toshinori. Toshinori would
call out, but there is something frozen high in his throat. Because there is a head of familiar green curls on the stretcher.
The pain in Toshinori's chest lances outwards again, filling his skin to the brim and then clawing at it, ripping and tearing, trying to get free. Trying to make its way to Young Midoriya.
His feet start moving before his brain can catch up with his movements. He does not even fully understand why he is doing it, Young Midoriya is clearly already being taken care of.
But he cannot stop himself. He cannot keep himself from following Young Midoriya when he looks so weak and vulnerable.
Toshinori has no idea what is going on, but he does know that he cannot allow Young Midoriya to be alone with his pain, even when Toshinori is in so much pain that it feels like it is echoing through his body.
Izuku is unaware.
Distantly, as if it is happening to a person not himself, he knows the sensation of two forces pulling him in either direction. But Izuku does not feel like going either way. He does not even know if he can go either way. He feels rooted in place in this shadowy inbetween. He is and he is not.
And then he is.
Except he still is not as well.
His whole body seems to contract as it becomes physical around him. Breathing becomes necessary again as his lungs ache against his ribs as if he has not been breathing for years. His heart starts up a hummingbird pace against his ribs and he lurches upwards.
Izuku feels like every sensation inside him has been amplified and is taking him apart at the seams, piece by piece. And even as he tries to shove everything down, he knows that he is never going to be strong enough to stop it. He is never going to be able to keep himself from being destroyed from the inside out from wherever is happening to him.
Cold hands grip his shoulders and arms, steadying him and holding him together all at once.
"It's alright Ninth, you're going to be alright," Someone says from above him, their voice low and scratchy against the top of his head as they curl over him. Izuku is not sure he likes being held like this, but he cannot exactly resist either, and their cool hands feel like relief against his heated skin. So he does not struggle to break the hold. Even as the first set of hands is joined by more.
"We've got you, you're okay, you're okay," someone else whispers against him from off his side, "Just take a deep breath for me okay? That's all I need you to do, we'll take care of everything else, I just need you to breathe for me."
It feels like Izuku is dragging liquid fire through his throat as he forces his lungs to fill with air until it feels like he cannot physically expand them any more. His breath comes back out in shuddering starts, but he manages to get it all out before attempting another deep breath. This one hurts less. And the one after that hurts even less.
"How's he doing?" someone else asks from somewhere a bit further away than his immediate bubble. Izuku feels like the voices should be familiar to him, that he has heard them before as some muddled, dim part of his brain lights up with recognition. But too much of him is focused on
breathing, on settling back into skin that feels not quite right to try and figure out where he knows the voices from.
"He's breathing again," the first voice says from where they are pressed up against Izuku's front.
"Well that's something at least," another voice breathes, this one sounds closer to him and Izuku decides he does not want to be surrounded by these people anymore.
Izuku shoves the person in front of him as hard as he can with arms that feel as weak as when he first started training with All Might and he was fruitlessly trying to drag refrigerators across the sand. He still manages to create some space between them though.
The person on his side feels a lot sturdier than the first person, and it feels more like they move to give him space than him pushing them away, but they stop gripping him close to them and that is all that matters. Izuku drags in another breath and this one feels more steady, less like he is sticking a branding iron down his throat and more like he is just breathing in smoke heavy air.
"Ninth-" the first voice starts. Izuku can feel them reaching for him and he jerks his hand up to block the hand as he flinches away.
The world around him goes still as his eyes snap open and take in the previous users of One For All circled around him, First's hand still paused halfway between them.
"I'm sorry," Izuku blurts out, the words scraping against his throat as the sensation of them sends him into a coughing fit. He bends over as his lungs protest, as his whole body protests. None of the vestiges move though, they all stand perfectly still, watching him as if they are waiting for something to happen.
He spends several minutes after he has finished coughing, getting his breath back before he feels comfortable uncurling from around himself to meet First's eyes, before sweeping his gaze to each of the other users, settling back on First again as an almost uncomfortable silence settles over them all.
"Are you okay Midoriya?" Nana finally asks after a moment.
"Yes?" Izuku says, his eyes flicking to her and then back to First, the original usere's eyes impossible to escape for long, some intensity dragging him back in again and again as First's hand slowly lowers back to the ground between them.
"Do you know where you are?" Someone else asks from over Izuku's shoulder. He thinks it might be Daigoro, but he is not entirely sure.
"I'm in One For All, right?" Izuku asks. Even as he speaks though, Izuku knows he is not inside his quirk, it feels too different from where he normally goes in his dreams, there is an oppressive weight here that pushes on him from all around here that does not exist in One For All's void, a heat that curls against his skin and settles in the pit of his stomach.
And as something flickers across First's face, the briefest shadow of emotion, Izuku knows for certain that he is someplace entirely new.
"It's not One For All, is it?" Izuku asks, even though he already knows the answer. He wants to hear them say it, he wants them to confirm it to him out loud.
"No, it's not," First says, his eyes meeting Izuku's head on.
"Then where am I?"
"Kid, Midoriya-" Nana starts, and finally Izuku is able to look away from First as he captures Nana's gaze with his own. Some of First's intensity must have transferred over to Izuku because she seems to freeze as soon as he looks at her before she takes a deep breath, her shoulders settling firmly in a line in a way that reminds Izuku too much of All Might as he prepares to go into a fight that he knows he must win.
"Your heart stopped, we had to scramble before we lost you," she says, her voice kind but still matter-of-fact. Izuku appreciates that she is not trying to sugar coat the facts from him, but it still feels like bile is slowly creeping up the back of his throat as she talks.
"Lost me? You mean I'm not dead?" Izuku manages to get out, forcing his brain to connect the dots despite how much it feels like he is on the edge of a steep cliff.
"No, but you're not exactly alive either, you're stuck somewhere in between right now," First says, demanding Izuku's attention again despite not moving a finger.
"Then how do I get back?" All around him, the One For All vestiges seem to flinch despite the fact that none of them have moved to do anything besides talk to him since the moment he opened his eyes. They are not even breathing. Izuku is not sure if he is actually breathing either, or if that is just an unconscious movement because he still thinks he needs to make itl.
But he cannot focus on those facts, he cannot allow himself to be distracted. He has to keep moving forward, that is all he can do right now, just keep putting one step in front of the other until he figures his way out of this situation. He can break down about it later, digest the fact that he died later. Right now he needs forward momentum.
"We're not sure you can go back," Daigoro says, and it sounds almost like an apology as he says it. "What?"
"We had enough power to keep you from dying, but we don't have enough to send you back," En says.
"Do you know why my heart stopped?" Izuku asks, grasping at straws. It feels hopeless, but he has been in hopeless situations before and come out on top, Izuku has to believe that this time will be similar. He will make it similar.
"It was my quirk, Danger Sense," Hikage says, stepping closer to Izuku from where he had been covering around the edges of the circle Izuku can see, "It's always on and when One For All was passed to you it wrapped in and around your heart and your nervous system to let you know when something is about to happen. When your teacher erased One For All, he erased Danger Sense as well and stopped your heart."
He takes this information in and accepts it. He can figure out how this information is going to impact him later, but right now he does not have time to sit down and think. Right now he has to act. He has to get back to his classmates and All Might and his mom, there is no other option for him.
Izuku feels something cold and hard settle in his chest. The other users saved him, they kept him from dying, now it is his turn to do the work. They got him halfway, but he has always known that it has to be him who crosses the finish line each time, he cannot rely on his quirk to do the work for him.
So Izuku stands up, swaying slightly with the pull he can feel dragging against his skin in every direction. He bends his knees just so to brace himself against the pressure and takes in his surroundings.
There is not much to differentiate which way he should be moving, nothing to tell him which way he needs to move in order to get back. He looks at the vestiges, wondering if they might know, but they are all just looking up at him, waiting for Izuku to make the next move, their faces either carefully blank or confused.
Only First seems to know what he is doing as he meets Izuku's gaze and gives him a little nod.
Izuku takes a steadying breath, squaring his shoulders as he does. Then he picks a direction and starts walking, deciding that he is going in the right direction as he forces his way against the pressure pushing him back and pulling him forward at the same time, tearing at him from all directions.
Behind him, he can feel the vestiges moving, but he does not turn around to look at them. He just keeps pushing forward.
"Come on my boy, come back to me," All Might's voice echoes in the area around him and through Izuku's chest. It sounds a long way off, but Izuku has practice working for what he wants. He can do this, he knows he can.
He forces another step further, and then another. There is a hand on his shoulder, one of the vestiges remaining connected to him. It does not pull him back or push him forwards, it simply rests there, letting him know that he is not alone as he moves.
Slowly, the area around him begins to warp.
Shouta's feet pound harshly against the floor as he races behind Recovery Girl's gurney. He knows there are people following him, but all he can focus on is the glimpse of green curls he gets every few steps, the way that the robots are moving around the gurney even as they run forward.
"What happened?" Recovery Girl demands as she looks down at a tablet in her hands, numbers and graphs flying across the screen faster than Shouta can really keep track of them, even if he tried.
"He seemed fine before we started class, a bit distracted but nothing unusual. Before we could start though he collapsed, Jiro said his heart stopped," Shouta says. Even recounting it all, it seems unreal, as if it should be happening to someone else, someone who is not sixteen years old.
"Has he been off campus at all recently?" Recovery Girl asks, pulling him from his thoughts.
"You think he got hit by a quirk?" There is an anger boiling in Shouta's stomach at the thought. It is hot and sticky as it climbs up his throat as he catches sight of Midoriya's green curls once more. If someone hit one of his kids with a quirk, if someone maliciously caused Midoriya's heart to stop, Shouta will hunt them down to the ends of the earth, and there are a few Heroes he is positive will join him.
"It's possible, and it's something we shouldn't rule out until I finish running some tests," Recovery Girl says. Still, the fact that she brought it up means it is a serious possibility, and Shouta is inclined to agree. Afterall, why else would Midoriya's heart have just stopped with no other warning signs to be had.
Because he had been off campus, they all had. So even though Shouta thought he had crossed all
his t's and dotted all his i's, something must have slipped through, someone must have gotten to one of his kids. And despite how hard he has been trying to emphasise the importance of communication, Midoriya had not told him about it. Neither had any of the other students who had been with him all day long, which does surprise Shouta. Because as much as each of his students is reluctant to talk to him about their own issues, they are typically quick to snitch on each other when they know something important.
It must be the work of a quirk. But Shouta has no time to try and dig deeper into that thought process as Midoriya's gurney bursts into the infirmary, the Hero herself only a few seconds behind it.
Shouta stalls though, unsure if he is allowed in during such an emergency. Or if he will be thrown out as soon as he steps inside. There is also a small part of him, worried that if he goes inside, and he watches Recovery Girl work, he will be there to witness Midoriya's death, completely helpless to anything to save him.
All Might does not seem to share his same worries, the older Pro pushing past him to shove his way into the room.
Shouta pulls away though. All Might is in the room with Midoriya, Shouta is not going to throw him out, and he knows that Recovery Girl would demand that one of them leave. So all he can do right now is wait. Wait, and start figuring out what he is going to do when he finds the person who hurt one of his kids.
Toshinori feels the door to the infirmary smack his shoulder as if his body is on a five second delay. All he can see in front of him is Young Midoriya, his body is so still, it seems unnatural.
"No, I need to be alone," Recovery Girl says, her voice sharp. And Toshinori knows that he should not argue with her, she knows what she is doing afterall and he does not want to distract her at an inopportune time.
But everything inside him is insisting that he stay, is rooting him to the floor and insisting he only get closer to Young Midoriya, not further away.
So Toshinaori plants his feet as if he is facing down an enemy he is not sure he can defeat but nonetheless must and says, "I'm not leaving."
"Toshinori," Recovery Girl starts, her voice sparking with irritation. He will not be moved though, he categorically refuses.
"I won't get in your way, but I'm not leaving him." Recovery Girl looks at him, her eyes carving into him as she looks for something deep inside him. Toshinori can still feel the pain from before, gnawing away at him, her gaze carving away even more. Under it all, part of Toshinori wants to cumple.
His boy needs him there though, so he digs down deep and stares Recovery Girl down. They look at each other for what feels like it should be an eternity, but he knows it cannot be more than a handful of seconds before she breaks and looks away from him. Down to where Young Midoriya is laying on a cot, his chest unmoving.
Toshinori feels something freeze over inside him at the sight of his boy's chest completely still.
"I need to get his heart restarted and oxygen flowing again, so as long as you can stay out of my way, I won't make you leave, even if it is completely unprofessional," Recovery Girl says, the last
part of her sentence a whispered grumble under her breath. Toshinori will take it though, he knows she is giving him more than she normally would, so he will take any scrap she is willing to give him.
He takes up a position on Young Midoriya's side, picking up his boy's hand and cradling it in both of his own. Each movement aches with layers of his own physical pain that burns away at his mind and re resolve, and the pain he can feel spreading out from his heart like ice while he comes to grips with the fact that he might be here to witness his boy die.
Part of him is hoping that as his skin touches Young Midoriya's, their bond through One For All, the thing linking them deeper than blood, will spark some connection. He is hoping that it will call Young Midoriya back to him.
But his boy's crooked fingers stay limp in his grip, and there is nothing beneath the skin that hints at the brilliance he knows Young Midoriya is capable of.
"Come on my boy, come back to me," Toshinori whispers as he leans over Young Midoriya's face, his nose pressing into his boy's forehead as everything inside him reaches for the connection between them that has so often brought him comfort.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Recovery Girl lean over Young Midoriya's chest, taking over from the robot who had been giving chest compressions, her palms pressing sharply into his chest in an attempt to get his heart restarted. Something clogs high in Toshinori's throat.
He closes his eyes and focuses on the connection, he knows it still has to be there, he refuses to believe otherwise. As long as there is still a chance that Young Midoriya will get back up again, Toshinori will keep reaching for him. So he pictures their connection and then he pulls on it as hard as he can.
Toshinori is not willing to give up his son without a fight.
Something shoves harshly on Izuku's chest and it feels like something comes unlodged in his throat while his body seizes without his permission, jerking in every direction.
Near his ear, something clatters to the ground as someone shouts. An echo of pain sounds from one of his hands as he pulls it back into his chest, his whole body folding inwards as several aches and pains make themselves known all at once. He feels a bit like a switchboard where everything has suddenly lit up.
"Young Midoriya, my boy," All Might says from nearby. Izuku wants to answer him, but as he takes in another breath, he realizes how dry his throat is and he starts to cough, the endless kind where it seems like it will go on and on.
Hands cradle his back and one of his shoulders. Izuku would drag himself away from them, but he knows these hands almost as well as his mother's, and he knows All Might would never hurt him. So he relaxes slightly into All Might's hold even as his chest continues to rattle.
"You're okay my boy. You're okay," All Might whispers to him, sounding like the weight of the world has lifted off his shoulders. Izuku's bones ache, like they have all been carved down by a knife, and his body feels ill fitting around him only he cannot seem to figure out if it is too big or too small.
"Here you go Dearie, let's have you drink some water, it should help with that cough of yours," Recovery Girl says, appearing by his side.
Izuku takes the glass she offers in a hand that shakes, some of the water spilling out the side when he lifts it up to drink. He can see both Recovery Girl and All Might waiting to help him, but he wants to do this by himself. He needs to do this by himself.
"How are you feeling?" Recovery Girl asks once he is finished, scooping the cup out of Izuku's hands.
"Cold," is his immediate answer. The heavy dark of that in between void seems to have made its home in his chest and Izuku does not know how he could possibly go about warming himself up.
Recovery Girl hymns for a second as if considering something and then turns around to rummage through one of her cupboards. All Might's hand on his shoulder rubs up and down his arm. It feels like the Hero is running fire down Izuku's skin. But he appreciates the gesture, because as much as part of him wants to pull away, All Might is warming him up, he is erasing some of that chill from Izuku's skin.
"Here you are Dearie," Recovery Girl says, returning to Izuku's side as she throws a blanket over his shoulders.
Izuku feels himself falter for a moment, unsure, but then he grabs the blanket and wraps us around himself as tight as he can manage. All Might's hands retract from where the Hero had been holding Izuku to accommodate the blanket. Izuku mourns their loss slightly, but the blanket is already making him feel better.
"Now then, I can't use my quirk on you right now on the off chance it might trigger another episode, but if you tell me what happened, I'll be able to help you to the best of my abilities," Recovery Girl says as she fetches a notepad, "And I do mean tell me exactly what happened, if you try to hide something from me, I will bench you for a week while we run through every conceivable test I can think up of to figure out every detail of what's going on inside your body."
The look she gives him is hard and stern and Izuku supposes he has earned it given his history. But the memory of the vestiges gripping into him, the cold, dark in between that seemed to press him between himself, haunts him in a way that nothing else ever has before.
He has almost died before, he knows what brushing up against death feels like. But this was not a simple brush, this was a full embrace.
Izuku does not think he could lie about that if he tried.
But when he opens his mouth to explain, he has no idea where to start. Both of them know about One For All, about the vestiges and everything that comes with them. How do you explain what happened to him though?
He has to try though, Recovery Girl's gaze brooks no arguments, and All Might is still a warm weight next to him, and he deserves an explanation if no one else does.
"I got another one of my quirks," Izuku starts. He feels the tension in the air grow taught around him at his statement and he can tell they want to interrupt him right there, but he cannot allow them to stop him or he will never be able to get everything out.
"I mean, I guess it happened a while ago, I just hadn't realized it. It's called Danger Sense, and it's supposed to let me know when something dangerous is about to happen, it gives me a few seconds of preparation. To do that though I guess it has to have a direct line to my heart and my nervous system. And when Aizawa-sensei activated his quirk this morning during class, it cut off One For
All, which also cut off Danger Sense, and my heart."
Recovery Girl is looking at him with an unreadable expression and All Might is stiff as a board next to him. Izuku can feel the weight of their bated breath on his skin, and he wants to leave it there, but there is more they need to know.
"The vestiges... caught me I guess is the best way to phrase it, before I could go too far. I don't know what would have happened if they hadn't but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here if they hadn't," Izuku finishes.
Beside him, All Might reaches out and grips Izuku's shoulder. His hand is not shaking, but it feels like it should be with how tight it is.
"Alright then, I'm keeping you for observation for the rest of the day. We're gonna figure out exactly how Danger Sense affects you and what that means for you and we are going to do it carefully so that you don't end up with your heart stopping again," Recovery Girl says standing up from her seat.
"I'm staying here," All Might announces, and his eyes burn when Izuku twists to look at him and insist he go teach his classes for the day.
He expects Recovery Girl to put up a fight, she usually hates it when people linger when she is trying to do something. But she merely sighs and shakes her head, grumbling something under her breath.
All Might seems to have been expecting a fight at his statement too because something about him relaxes as Recovery Girl continues to move about the room. Izuku relaxes too, a hard coil of worry around his spine and buried in his stomach he had not known was there coming undone.
"I'll let Aizawa know Midoriya's alright," Recovery Girl says as Izuku leans further into All Might's side. His eyelids feel heavy and each time he opens them back up it feels harder. There is a weariness seeping into his bones. He tries to keep himself awake though, at least for a few moments longer.
Aizawa-sensei appears in the room between Izuku's slow blinks. His teacher looks frazzled and wrong footed as Izuku meets his eyes.
"Kid, Midoriya, I don't even," Aizawa-sensei says, starting his sentence over and over again as if he has no idea how to phrase what he wants to say.
"Aizawa-sensei?" Izuku asks, his words slurring together as he tries to make his tongue work through the exhaustion he can feel making it heavy. Aizawa-sensei snaps together, his whole expression hardening as he lurches towards Izuku.
"Kid, you okay? Do you need Recovery Girl?" he asks, his voice sharp as his hands come up to prod at Izuku's neck where his heartbeat would be strongest. All Might shifts slightly to allow Aizawa-sensei's ministrations.
"I'm fine, just tired," Izuku says, shifting away from his teacher's hands.
"You're sure you feel fine?" Aizawa-sensei says, his voice rough around the edges.
"I'm sure, I'm fine," Izuku says. Aizawa-sensei's shoulders slump as if the strings holding them in place have been sniped.
"Fuck, Kid, I'm so sorry," he says as he steps away, running a hand through his hair.
"It's okay, you didn't know," Izuku says, his eyelids dragging down again as he speaks. He wants to just slip into the darkness but he knows he needs to stay awake just a little bit longer. This conversation is important and he does not want to put it off. He does not want Aizawa-to feel bad for any longer than he should.
"Kid, just because I didn't mean to, doesn't mean I didn't stop your heart . That's a big deal ." "I'm okay though, so it's fine."
Aizawa-sensei lets out another rough sigh. Izuku tries to keep his eyes open for longer, but the siren song of sleep is calling him in closer. He knows Aizawa-sensei is sorry, and he knows Aizawa-sensei did not mean to hurt him. And Izuku turned out fine, so everything is fine.
"Oh my boy, once Recovery Girl is done with you, I am going to work it into your thick skull that people care about you, that seeing you hurt scares us," All Might whispers into his ear, "And maybe this time you'll listen to me."
But Izuku is already half asleep as his brain processes it and he is not sure if that is real or just another figment of his imagination.