Roy Mustang is a legend amongst his peers:
A respected Colonel of Amestris.
The feared Flame Alchemist.
And possibly the next Fuhrer.
Or so that's what he'll tell people anyway.
Mustang has always wanted the Fuhrer's position, but not for a lust of power - He has all the power he needs at the command of his fingertips already. No, Roy wants to be the one that makes a genuine difference in his country. He is determined to rise to the top and lead the county into an era of prosperity and peace.
The process of preparing himself for this doesn't leave room for relaxing as it is a full-time job in itself.
A job that often bleeds onto his First Lieutenant, Riza Hawkeye. His loyal subordinate and friend. She is more than willing to help Mustang with all his needs on his quest to become Furher. She is even willing to help with things that Roy would rather she didn't ...
For instance, telling him to take a break before he burns himself out (pun intended).
This is where they stand now. Both standing opposed, slightly bristling as Riza attempts to convince Mustang to lay down after a twenty-four hour mission and debriefing. Her words are falling on deaf ears but this is nothing new.
"Sir, with all due respect. You're just as useless when you're grumpy as when it's raining. I suggest you get some rest." Riza is the only person in the county who could get away with talking to him like this. Besides perhaps Edward, who can essentially do whatever he pleases.
"I don't need rest. I need to finish this paperwork. If I fall behind on my duties then I'll never-" His First Lieutenant doesn't give him a chance to finish before interjecting. "You'll never do anything if you're run down from sleep deprivation. Or dead from a careless mistake. I insist you take a break, sir." Riza's tone is as cold as her eyes as she meets his stare unwaveringly. Her amber gaze refuses to break contact with Mustang's dark, equally unwavering gaze.
Riza's eyes are solidified with resolve to do what it takes to care for her friend. Mustang should know better than to fight when she so clearly had made up her mind. Riza is one of the few people more stubborn than himself.
But today the Colonel clearly doesn't know what's good for him - Riza is included to blame this idiocy on exhaustion, and she would likely be correct.
"And I insist you take a step back, Lieutenant. If you'll excuse me, I have work to do." Mustang responds curtly, bundling up a stack of papers. He turns off the lamp on his desk before stalking around it in the direction of the door. More than likely planning to continue the paperwork in his own quarters where he would have privacy and peace to do so.
However, Roy severely underestimates his Lieutenant's determination to care for his mental and physical well being. "I'm afraid I must again insist otherwise, sir." Hawkeye responds as she grabs the crook of his elbow. She is always careful not to drop the formalities even when she's calling him out on his stupid decisions.
With a frustrated hissing breath, Mustang pulls his arm away. But Riza is right, the Colonel is useless when he's grumpy. Even in the sparse light, the blonde soldier easily grabs Roy's wrist before he can fully pull away. She snatches the papers from Mustang's grasp and lightly shoves the startled man onto the plush couch behind him.
The lamp on the end table - the only remaining light source in the room, illuminates his shocked expression. This all happens in a matter of seconds before Mustang's sleepy mind can register why he isn't standing anymore.
Riza smacks the papers back onto the Colonels desk before turning her attention back to her dazed friend. "If you attempt to stand up I will be forced to detain you here indefinitely, sir." She says this cooly as she sits down on the edge of the table in the center of his seating area. Positioning herself in front of the couch Mustang was on in case he attempts another escape.
"This is insubordination." Mustang mumbles as he attempts to stand up. The tired Colonel is quickly thwarted as Riza pushes down on his shoulders without even needing to move from her perch. "Sir, I would rather not do this all night. Please just rest." The Lieutenant was sounding exasperated now, wondering how long her friend is going to fight her efforts this time.
With another frustrated grumble, Mustang again leaps to his feet, eyes trained towards the papers on his desk. With a sigh, Riza comes to terms that she's going to have to bring out the big guns to get the man-baby she works under to cooperate.
She quickly takes off her jacket to enhance the range of motion of her arms. Leaving her in a dark grey T-shirt as she quietly sets the dark blue jacket on the corner of the table.
Riza may get fired for what she's about to do, but she's far too tired to care.
A moment after Roy finds his feet and takes a confident step towards his desk, Hawkeye strikes. Clawing at his ribs from behind before he can make it past the edge of the couch. "Ah-aha w-what do y-you think you're d-doing, Lieutenant?" Mustang questions as he arcs his back in reaction to her surprise attack.
"Clearly my only option is to wear you down until you're truly exhausted enough to go sleep, sir." Riza can't help but grin as she says this. Still scribbling at Mustangs ribs from behind his back as he awkwardly squirms and bends away from her touch.
"W-why you-" The Colonel isn't able to finish his retort before Riza pulls him backwards. The momentum taking him back down to the couch. The blonde soldier steps out of the way just in time for Mustang to crash back down onto the cushions with a startled huff.
Knowing every moment counts, Riza resumes her attack now that Mustang is on the couch where he will - hopefully, be taking a nap after she tires him out.
Hawkeye begins scribbling at his ribs and squeezing his sides through the uniform. Kneeling on the carpet beside the couch as she continues the impromptu tickle assault on her superior. "St-stop thihis! Stop it th-this instant!" Roy protests, his voice sounding strained. But his attempts to grab Riza's wiggling fingers are futile.
Mustang is the type to get pretty loopy when he's tired, similar to a toddler who needs their nap. He gets grumpy and loses basic motor skills. This is something Riza is quiet familiar with as she is the one who has to change the diapers and put him to bed, so to speak.
But not today; because today, Riza is tired too.
And she can't sleep until she knows the Colonel is getting the rest he needs. As such, the Lieutenant has no intention of mercy for her friend. If anything, this ambush will be considered Riza's revenge for everything she's put up with for Mustang's sake. Even if she does these things for him both willingly and happily.
There's no room for mercy tonight.
~~~
"I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. Not until I'm certain you have been worn down enough to rest for the evening." Riza responds curtly, as if following an order. But Mustang can see the corners of her mouth twitching up in a smile. Wearing him down may be a valid reason for why she's doing this, but Mustang has no doubt his Lieutenant is enjoying herself.
"Stahap! Thahats an o-order!" Roy is close to losing his composure. An unintentional smile peaking through his scowl as he weakly attempts to push Riza's tickling fingers away from his stomach. "Sorry sir, I didn't quite catch that. Could you repeat it for me?" The Lieutenant asks innocently, squeezing Mustangs hips as she says this.
'That bold little-' His thought is interrupted as her fingers gain momentum. "I s-said stohop! Thats an- AHAHA LIEUTENAHANT STAHAP!" His composure finally cracks when Riza repositions herself up onto the edge of the couch to drill her thumbs into his hip bones. Mercilessly digging into the sensitive muscles no one has ever dared try to exploit.
"I'm sorry, that's a what? It's still really hard to hear you, sir." The blonde responds, not even bothering to hide her smile as she continues to dig into Roy's apparent weak spot - One of them at least. Crossing her legs casually as she sits on the edge of the couch. Riza seems relaxed, but Mustang knows that she's still readily prepared for a quick getaway if need be.
"YOHOU WILL PAHAY FOHOR THIHIS, LIEUTENANT!" Mustang threatens, though it's even I deny Riza isn't particularly alarmed given his present state. In any case, it's true that he wouldn't last a day without his first Lieutenant. There is very little ge can do or say that will convince Riza to stop until she is satisfied.
And Mustang is painfully aware of this.
"Sir, I already told you. You're useless when you're grumpy. You want me to pay for this? Fine, make me pay after you've rested." Riza says this calmly, as if talking to a child. With an unfazed grin, she adjusts spots to explore the Colonels upper ribs and underarms. But there's a flash of unease in here eyes that Roy can observe even through his laughter.
A plan quickly begins brewing in his mind. A plan to hopefully explore just what makes his Lieutenant so uneasy about the prospect of his retaliation. The smile from his laughter deepens at the thought.
'Useless when I'm grumpy? I'll show her.'
~~~
It is imperative that the Colonel never learns Riza is ticklish. Mustang likely will not seek revenge in that way - Roy is not sentimental or soft enough to initiate an all out tickle war.
He is far more of the brooding type. Riza is certain that the Colenel will make her life difficult for a bit, but her secret is surly safe. Mustang never needs to find out that his Lieutenant is hopelessly ticklish herself. Or worse than that, that she actually likes it...
"I AM NOHOT USLESS WHEHEN IM GRUMPY!" Mustang objects as he thrashes beneath her fingers. Disproving his own point as he still is not able to catch Riza's swift fingers. Though perhaps that was because Mustang didn't want to fight it. It's hard for Riza to tell.
"That's the point you decide to ague?" Hawkeye rolls her eyes at the dark haired Colonel, having a grand time exploiting his ticklish uppermost ribs. Her unrelenting fingers are throwing the usually-stoic man into streams of high pitched laughter. "ITS NOHOT TRUHUE! STAHAP! PLEAHAHASE!" Roy is approaching begging territory, an area she knows that he greatly despises.
"It is true, sir. Please just give in and get some sleep." Hawkeye responds as the first finger makes it through Mustang's defenses. It quickly begins wiggling at the armpit through the fabric his uniform. "YOHOU SLY LITTLE- AHAHAHA!" Mustang can't even finish his weak attempt at an insult before dissolving into laughter. Even with the additional protection of his jacket, she knows that its still torturous for him.
But even so, Riza miscalculated. Since apparently this is the moment he was waiting for - The moment to strike back.
Riza placed herself within range and her hands are essentially trapped, wedged between his biceps and underarms. It should have been no surprise to her when Mustang grabbed her shoulders and tugged her to the side. Not expecting the sudden jolt, Hawkeye tumbled over, landing on the lower couch cushion beside/across the Colonel.
"You a-are the one who w-will be gihiving in." Roy proclaims through his giggles - Riza's hands were still wiggling in his armpits. She's desperately trying to gain back an ounce of control.
Any control she was able to acquire is quickly stolen when Mustang repositions. Pulling his underarms out of her grasp as he settles atop of her legs with a victorious grin. Mustang's black hair is disheveled and he looks years younger with a mischievous smile lighting his face.
"S-sir?" Riza isn't certain how to react, and also isn't certain of Roy's intentions. "Firstly Lieutenant, clearly I am not 'useless when I'm grumpy'. And secondly, do you really think I don't know that you're planning to stay up and do that paperwork for me?" Mustang questions as he eyes the papers on the desk. Again, Riza isn't certain on how to respond. She elects to stay silent which is an answer enough on its own.
"Heh, that's what I thought. Clearly, you're in need for some 'tiring out' yourself, aren't you?" The Colonel continues, adding a few squeezes on Riza's sides to punctuate his words. This gets her attention, the blonde Lieutenant suddenly turns to meet his gaze. A slight tinge of panic in her eyes.
Riza severely miscalculated the Colonels character earlier when she threw the idea of his retaliation out the window.
"Also, you and I both know I can't just let your actions slide without a little payback." Mustang continues with a devious grin. Riza is having a hard time remembering how to inhale, let alone respond. This is the worst case scenario for her.
'A few extra coffee runs? Sure. More sarcastic comments than usual? Okay. Watch after Edward for the weekend? Annoying, but fine. Get tickled senseless by your boss who doesn't know how ticklish you are? Or that you like it?? Absolutely not.' Riza's frantic thoughts continue as Mustang makes quick work of grabbing her wrists. Holding them both with one hand as he contemplates where to put them.
This is her one chance to negotiate.
"S-sir, it's late and you have an early meeting tomorrow. I think y-you should go to sleep and look over your notes when you wake." Hawkeye intentionally doesn't mention anything about her current situation, hoping that if she doesn't acknowledge the tickles that maybe he would let it go. She should have known better. Once Mustang is set on revenge…
"What better way than this to tire me out for a good rest? I know you better than to think you'll let me do this easily. But make no mistake, I'm doing this." Roy responds smugly with a lighter tone that only Riza ever gets to hear. The Lieutenant can't help but flush red under his words. This is not how the night was supposed to go.
Mustang was supposed to be out cold. She was supposed to be done with his paperwork and asleep in bed. But instead, Riza is giggling helplessly as the Colonel pins her arms over her head and begins clawing at her ribs with his free hand.
Why did she have to take her jacket off? The Lieutenants shirt was more on the form fitting side and was much thinner than the tough fabric on her uniform jacket.
Even with one hand, Mustang is wreaking havoc. "Pleahase don't do thihihis sir!" Riza cries out between her giggles, tugging at her wrists where they're still pinned over her head. The Lieutenant can't stand how vulnerable it makes her feel. Though if anyone is going to make her vulnerable like this, Riza would want it to be Mustang.
That is, until the Colonel moves his hand from her ribs to her hip, squeezing mercilessly as he moves from one side to the other.
Mustang isn't set on mercy tonight either.
~~~
"And why shouldn't I tickle you, Lieutenant? Is someone too ticklish for their own good? You really should have known better before trying to take me down." Mustang responds teasingly, slowly regaining his wounded pride from earlier as he watches Riza blush red and avoid his gaze through her laughter. He's also noticed that the more he uses the word 'tickle', the more flustered his Lieutenant becomes.
"STOHOP BEHEING AN ASS, SIHIR!" Even through the torture, Hawkeye is still calling him out. Mustang chuckles at her resilience. "Calling me useless and ambushing me while my back is turned isn't being an ass?" The Colonel fires back with an unapologetic smile on his face as he starts racing his fingers up and down Riza's ribs and underarms.
"USELESS WHEHEN GRUHUMPY! NOHOT USELEHESS IN GENERAHAL, SIHIR!" The Lieutenant makes this distinction over high pitched laugher. But even through her frantic hysterics, Mustang can tell she is enjoying herself deep down. Not that he could ever get Riza to admit such a thing. Not today anyway, perhaps another time…
"You didn't even try to defend your actions for ambushing me." The Colonel retorts smugly, enjoying the feeling of turning the tables. It's also nice to see the Lieutenant laugh for once, she's generally even more serious than Mustang. All business, no mischief - except for her sarcasm of course.
Her serious nature is why Riza's choice of attack was a dead giveaway to Mustang that the Lieutenant must be quite ticklish herself. "SIHIR, ITS HAHARD TO SPEAHAK WHEHEN YOHOU'RE TOHORTURING ME!" Riza protests though Roy notes that she is no longer fighting as hard as she could. Is the Lieutenant worn out? No, the gleam in her eyes suggests otherwise.
'So she doesn't mind this as much as she's putting on? Typical of the Lieutenant. Always has to act so serious.' Roy thinks to himself with a grin as he lets go of Lieutenant's wrists to begin a two-handed assault on her torso. If Riza isn't going to fight him anymore, Mustang might as well take full advantage.
"You've never had a problem speaking your mind before." The Colonel responds with a shrug as starts squeezing at both hips, inching around the surrounding belly area. It's clear his Lieutenant is hiding something.
"SIHIR YOHOU HAHAVE TO STAHAP!" The blonde Lieutenant is starting to sound panicked, a foreign sound for Mustang to hear. He digs harder into the spot in the center of her belly that triggered the reaction. "Care to elaborate, Lieutenant? You know I hate it when you don't speak up." Mustang responds teasingly. Revenge for her teasing words earlier when he ordered her to stop tickling him.
Mustang is glad she didn't listen.
Of course, has no intentions of sharing this aloud. Roy will simply let his wiggling fingers do the talking for the time being.
"SIHIR PLAHAHASE! I-I CAHANT!" Riza is near hysterical with laughter, desperate for it to stop.
"You can't what, Lieutenant?" Roy presses as he grins, increasing the speed of his attack. "YOHOU'RE BEING AN AHASS AGAIN, SIHIR!" The Lieutenant complains, her voice is not laden with annoyance this time however. More so endearment, though this may be a skewed observation considering she is still laughing hysterically.
"That's not an answer, Lieutenant. What can't you handle?" Mustang is clearly determined to push past Riza's stubbornness. He's never been able to do so before and this is the closest he's ever been.
This is also the closest Mustang has been to Riza in a literal sense. The Colonel is suddenly aware of his current situation atop of his Lieutenant. His delayed realization likely due to his tired mind.
Neither of them are tired now.
~~~
"S-SIHIR-" Hawkeye isn't certain how to respond, her pride and embarrassment keep her silent - Except for frantic laughter of course. "Lieutenant, I haven't gotten my answer." Mustang teases through his brief moment of flusterment.
Having a bonding moment is nice and all, but it's getting hard to breath while Mustang is clawing at Hawkeye's stomach and lower ribs. It's also getting hard for Riza to conceal she doesn't hate the current situation as much as she is portraying.
The tickling has to stop, she has to make it stop.
Riza's face is red from more than just humiliation. She's out of breath from laughing. Yet still, her superior apparently still wants a few more things before he stops his ticklish torture - One of which being her answering his question.
Riza can't tell him the truth. The truth that the tickling and his close contact was awakening feelings and sensations she really doesn't want to articulate. Having the Colonel find out that she is ticklish is bad enough, the Lieutenant can't even imagine the humiliation of admitting that she likes it.
She elects to tell part of the truth.
"AHAHA DAHAMMIT COLONEL! I C-CAHANT TAHAKE BEHEING TIHICKLED, NOW STAHAP!" Riza near-screams through her laughter. Wounded pride forgotten as she desperately fights for relief.
"Is that so? Admit that I'm not useless when I'm grumpy. Then I'll stop." The dark-haired man responds. Riza would grit her teeth if she wasn't laughing so hard. Of course the Colonel would pull a cheap tactic like that. But still, it's better than telling the truth about why she can't handle his tickles.
"FIHINE, YOHOU'RE NOHOT ALWAHAYS UHUSLESS WHEN YOHOU'RE GRUHUMPY!" Riza squeals as Mustang widens his grip and claws her ribs. Roy smirks at her not-quite-compliant response.
The Colonel ceases his attack with a satisfied grin. "That was letting you off easy Lieutenant. I suggest you think twice before attempting something so foolish again." Mustang says, still grinning as he places his leg over the edge of the couch to stand.
Riza doesn't attempt to respond. Her plan had severely backfired and she doesn't trust her judgment at present. That, and she is still recovering from the ticking assault.
Knowing he isn't going to get a reply, Mustang continues. "And I also suggest you prepare for me to exploit this new-found weakness of yours more often. I know there's something you're hiding from me, but I'll let it slide for now."
Dammit. The Colonel is too astute for his own good.
Riza does her best not to visibly flinch at his words but her clenched fists give her away. She's too exhausted to come up with an excuse or objection. The blonde soldier continues with her stretch of silence which, again, is answer enough.
Mustang chuckles as he picks up her jacket and places it atop of his Lieutenant. "But I'll give you this, I am wiped out." He finishes as he turns off the lamp, draping the room in darkness. Mustang then plops down on the couch adjacent to the one Lieutenant is on. Roy adjusts the decorative pillow under his head and closes his eyes.
Riza remains frozen, even in the darkness she fears not move. Her mind is racing with conflicting thoughts. Yes, she likes to be tickled but the reason why … That she would rather not share. Or would she?
If it was to Mustang she would.
The Lieutenant purses her lips and turns to face the couch. Not trusting that Mustang wouldn't be able to somehow see her face and question what's got her blushing.
After another few minutes of thinking it over, Riza makes her decision. At this point, there is no hope of getting the Colonel to drop it, her fate was already sealed. So the Lieutenant might as well embrace it.
But Mustang was correct earlier when he said that he knew Riza wasn't going to make it easy for him. The blonde Lieutenant has a small smile on her face now as she adjusts to a more comfortable position for falling asleep.
She won't make it easy for the Colonel, the idea of telling the truth is scary. But what follows after the truth is … Also scary, but in a good way. Riza trusts Mustang with her life, she can trust him with a harmless kink too.
Just … Not until he works for it a little.