CHAPTER 9

Sendoh woke from another dream about his mother. The same dream. Always the same dream.

He reached a hand out toward Rukawa's side of the bed, but of course it was empty. He hadn't shared a bed with Rukawa for two weeks.

He brought his hand to his chest and traced the crucifix around his neck with one fingertip, soothing himself with the familiar bumps and edges of the gold cross.

He had to go to practice. He still felt tired. He always felt tired these days. It could be because he was thirty, which was basketball middle-aged. Or because his terrible team had lost last night. It could be because of the frequent unsettling dreams he'd been having about his mother. It could be because he missed his boyfriend.

It could be because I'm depressed.

No. He was fine. Normal. It's not like he ever stayed in bed all day crying.

Neither did Mom.

He hauled himself out of bed despite everything in his body and brain protesting.

He missed waking up with Rukawa. He missed breakfast together, even though Rukawa only ate extremely healthy food now. He missed making Rukawa coffee and serving it to him in an Okinawa Tendouji mug. He missed showering together, and tumbling back into bed together after, warm and damp and unable to stop touching each other.

He sent Rukawa a text.

Akira: How is Osaka?

Rukawa began typing his reply right away.

Kaede: Raining. How's Okinawa?

Sendoh gazed out his kitchen window to the river behind his house. The trees were bright with autumn leaves, and the sun was shining.

Akira: Fine.

Kaede: Did you eat breakfast?

Sendoh huffed. Rukawa worried about the weirdest things.

Akira: Might go to McDonald's for a McGriddle.

He'd mostly written it to annoy Rukawa, but now he really did want a McGriddle.

Kaede: You shouldn't be eating that shit.

Akira: Should I be eating hay for breakfast like you?

Kaede: It's not hay. And yes, probably.

Akira: I would rather have the sandwich that is made with pancakes as bread.

Kaede: Gross.

Sendoh smiled as he imagined Rukawa's yuck face.

Akira: Send me a pic.

He had time to pour himself a coffee, fix it with cream and sugar, and take a couple of sips before Rukawa finally sent a selfie. Sendoh wondered how many he'd taken before deciding this one was good enough to send.

It wasn't intentionally sexy. It was just Rukawa, standing near a window, probably in his hotel room, wearing a white Shohoku T-shirt, and relax expression. His hair was tucked adorably behind his ear on one side.

Akira: I miss you.

It was the only thought in his head, at that moment.

Kaede: I miss you too.

Kaede: Stop stalling. Where's my pic?

Sendoh was still shirtless, which was a good start for a selfie. He stretched the arm holding his phone out and raised it a bit, angling down. Then he shimmed the waistband of his sweatpants down until he was nearly exiting the safe-for-work zone. He tucked a thumb into the waistband, tugging down a bit, and snapped the pic.

Kaede: That was mean.

Sendoh wished he could watch the shift in Rukawa's face now. The way his cheeks flushed and his eyes grew brighter when he was aroused. He was probably biting his bottom lip.

Akira: If you are alone we could...

Kaede: Team meeting in ten minutes.

Akira: Is that a challenge?

It took Rukawa forever to reply, and Sendoh's imagined he'd deleted several responses before finally landing on:

Kaede: I can't. Sorry.

Akira: Okay.

Kaede: It's going to be hard to delete that photo.

Akira: I can take more.

He knew Rukawa would delete the photo. They always deleted anything in their message history that could give away their secret.

Kaede: You gonna watch tonight?

Akira: Maybe. If I am very bored.

Kaede: I'll try to win for you.

Sendoh huffed and wrote...

Akira: Try to lose. We are in the same division, baby.

Kaede: Nah.

And then, with no warning, Rukawa sent a pic of his crotch, his semi-hard dick visible under the black fabric of his boxer briefs.

Kaede: Talk to you later.

Sendoh exhaled shakily and wrote...

Akira: Fucker.

Rukawa hated the game trips because they messed up his sleep schedule. They had flown directly from Osaka to Fukuoka early that day, and had a game at eight tomorrow night, which would feel like eleven at night. Yuck.

Now it was nine thirty and Rukawa was in bed in his hotel room, trying to ignore the fact that it was only nine thirty. If he were home, it would be past his bedtime, especially before a game day.

But he couldn't sleep.

He could hear Sakuragi moving around in the room next door. Earlier it had sounded like he'd been watching a movie. Now Rukawa could only hear footsteps.

He closed his eyes. Sleep, he told himself.

He was in the middle of some slow breathing exercises when there was a knock at his door.

"Wait," he called out as he hauled himself out of bed and began rummaging through his suitcase for some sweatpants and a T-shirt. Once he was decent, he opened the door.

"Hey," said Sakuragi. He was pawing the back of his own neck, and his red hair was thoroughly rumpled. "Can I hang out for a bit?"

"Did you watch a scary movie again?" Rukawa asked, already stepping back to let him in.

Sakuragi smiled sheepishly. "It was fucking terrified."

Rukawa closed the door behind him. "You need to stop watching those."

"I know." He threw himself onto Rukawa's bed, making himself at home. "What were you up to?"

"Trying to sleep."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Fuck you," Rukawa said, sitting on the bed beside him. "I wasn't too successful."

"Fucking time zones."

"Perhaps."

"Wanna watch something?" Sakuragi asked.

"What? Like, one of the Saw movies?"

"No! The opposite of that."

Sakuragi grabbed the remote off the nightstand. "I'll find something."

He landed on a competition reality show about strangers hooking up in some tropical location, which basically was a horror movie as far as Rukawa was concerned. He kept his thoughts to himself, though, and let his friend be comforted by toned young women in bikinis.

"It would be weird to go on one of these shows," Sakuragi said.

"Mm," Rukawa agreed.

"I'd probably be good at it, though. I've got a good body, I'm a nice guy. I know I'm not, like, smart, but compared to these dudes I'm a road scholar."

"Rhodes," Rukawa said.

"Yeah. And I'm rich, so. That would be an edge."

Rukawa sat up from where he'd been lying back against the pillows. "Sorry. In this scenario, you would be a contestant on this trashy reality show, but also you would still be an JBL player?"

Sakuragi shrugged. "I guess."

"You would spend a month of your life, or however long it takes to film this show, living in this gross beach house and trying to win ten thousand when you have an JBL salary and, like, barely any vacation time?"

Sakuragi frowned at him. "You're overthinking this, kitsune. Obviously I'm not going on a show like this because I'm married to the best woman in the world and we have...four beautiful children."

Rukawa smirked. "Did you hesitate before you said four?"

"No!"

"Did you actually lose track of how many kiddos you have?"

Sakuragi lightly punched Rukawa's thigh. "Just wait until you're a dad. You'll see."

They watched in silence until the next commercial break, then Rukawa said, "You think I'll be a dad someday?"

Sakuragi's eyebrows pinched together. "Sure. You want to be, right?"

"I think so, yeah."

"Well, then."

"It won't be easy. And probably won't be for a long time."

"Parenting is never easy."

"Yeah but, like, obtaining a baby sometimes is. For some people."

Sakuragi laughed. "It's never been an issue for Haruko and me, that's for sure. Although, she's fixed now, so."

Rukawa wrinkled his nose. "Fixed?"

"Like, had her tubes tied or whatever they call it. When we had Kaya she had it done when she had the C-section. Two-in-one surgeries."

"Efficient." Rukawa realized it was maybe weird that he hadn't known any of this. He often teased Sakuragi about his brood of children, but he never really talked to him about his and Haruko's experience with having babies and raising kids. "Was that a mutual decision? Not having any more kids?"

"Definitely. I mean, even if only Haruko had wanted to stop, that would have been the decision made. I would never have pushed for more if she wasn't into it. That would be fucked. But four kids is plenty for both of us." He sighed. "The kids want a dog now."

Rukawa smiled. "So does Akira."

"Does he want kids?"

"I think so." Rukawa cheeks heated. "We haven't talked about it too seriously. There's not much point right now."

On the television, a very drunk young man started making out with a very drunk young women. Rukawa let his eyes unfocus even more than they already were without his glasses, and quietly began to stress out about the logistics of adopting children with Sendoh. There were so many things that had to happen first, and they were all terrifying.

"He'd be a good dad, I guess," Sakuragi said, breaking through Rukawa's anxiety spiral.

"Who?" Rukawa asked, in case Sakuragi meant the drunk gentleman on the TV.

"Sendoh. He's good with kids. Hana and Anya love him."

"He basically is a kid, that's why," Rukawa said, though inside his heart was glowing. "Do you think I'd be a good dad?"

"Sure. You'd be the responsible one who makes sure they, like, eat vegetables and brush their teeth and stuff. Sendoh would be the fun one who buys them Jet Skis for their tenth birthdays."

"He would do that."

"And you're return them and buy the kids sensible shoes or something instead," Sakuragi teased.

"Eat shit. I'd be a cool dad."

Sakuragi wrapped a hand around Rukawa's forearm. "Rukawa. You've never been cool about anything ever. And parenting is the most high-stress thing you can do. You'll be an absolute mess."

"Thanks."

"You should still do it, though. Kids are the best."

"Okay."

"Hey, maybe Hana and Anya will be old enough to babysit your kids! Dude, that's wild to think about."

It was wild to think about. Every aspect of it was wild. "Yeah."

"You got plans for tomorrow?" Sakuragi asked.

"I'm hanging out with Luna."

"Oh, sweet! Can I come?"

"No. Last time you babbled the entire time like a drooling fanboy."

"Yeah, because she's a super-hot model!"

"She's also one of my best friends. And a totally normal, real person."

"I'll be cool, I promised!"

Rukawa shook his head. "She's taking me shopping. I don't need a witness to that. I'm weird enough about clothes without you being there."

"Fine." Sakuragi turned his attention back on the TV. After a minute of watching, he chuckled. "That guy's back tattoo. Sheesh."

Rukawa squinted at the shirtless white guy who was being yelled at by another shirtless white guy. "What's it say?"

" 'No Worries.' "

Rukawa huffed. "Must be nice."

There were two kids- Winnie and Akiko- who lived in the house down the street from Sendoh. Almost every home game day, the kids would stand in their driveway and wave an Sendoh as he drove by on his way to the arena. Sometimes they wore the jerseys he'd given them. Sometimes they held homemade signs.

Sendoh slowed down as he approached their house and rolled down his window. Winnie was wearing her jersey, and Akiko had an Okinawa Tendouji jersey.

"How many goals should I score tonight?" Sendoh asked.

"Thirty!" said Winnie.

"Forty!" said Akiko.

Sendoh chuckled. "No problem. Will you be there?"

Akiko- the younger one- started jumping up and down. "Yeah! And I'm going to get popcorn!"

"Aw. Lucky," Sendoh said. "I never get popcorn at the games."

"Because if you ate popcorn while playing basketball, you would get a cramp," Winnie said wisely.

"This is true," Sendoh agreed. He noticed the kids' mother sitting on the front steps. "Hello, Kamiko."

Kamiko waved. "Good luck tonight, Sendoh."

Sendoh nodded and gave a final wave, then drove away smiling. There were a lot of things that he found difficult about living and playing in Okinawa, but he absolutely loved this pregame ritual with his neighbours. He loved having neighbours. His penthouse in Ryonan had been sexy and private, but being on the ground in a house surrounded by other houses was nice.

To be fair, it was a big house. With a gate and trees and an enormous semicircular driveway. He still needed some privacy.

The drive from Sendoh's house to the arena was only about fifteen minutes, and he passed a Starbucks drive-thru on the way, so it was basically a perfect commute. It was a sunny day, so Sendoh had decided to take his orange Porsche 711, which was the coolest of the cars he had left. These days he mostly drove his Mercedes SUV with all-wheel drive. Sometimes on nice days he rode his Ducati, but both Kaede and Yuna strongly disapproved of his decision to buy a motorcycle, so Sendoh didn't take it out often.

Rukawa was so sure Sendoh was going to die in a crash. It was annoying.

Sendoh drummed his fingers on the steering wheel to the rhythm of the Bon Jovi song that he'd recently added to his pregame playlist. He needed to get his fill of good music now because it was Atsushi Tsuchiya's turn to be in charge of the locker room music. Sendoh tried to be open-minded about music, but the particular songs Tsuchiya was into were definitely bad.

He pulled into the Starbucks drive-thru, ordered a coffee with cream and sugar for himself and a black coffee for Luca Haan because he'd found that he liked the way Luca got flustered when Sendoh gave him any attention at all. Sendoh had always been against hazing or making rookies feel uncomfortable or bullied, but he got a kick out of being nice to the starstruck ones.

The first person Sendoh spotted in the parking garage at the arena was Kenji Fujima, who was just getting out of his army-green Jeep Wrangle. It had a Green Lantern logo on the tire cover on the back because Fujima was a fucking nerd.

"Hey, Sendoh," Fujima said with a small wave.

Sendoh nodded back because he was carrying two coffee cups. "Fujima."

Fujima fell into stride with Sendoh as they walked through the garage. He was an inch shorter than Sendoh's, with brown hair and a wide mouth that almost never frowned. "What kind of crowd do you think we'll get tonight?"

"Is a beautiful evening, so basically no one."

Fujima laughed. "Yeah. Our numbers will go up when it gets hottest."

"A little."

"Maybe they should offer fans a free hot chocolate or something. That would be an enticement."

"Sure," Sendoh said dryly. "Or a month's rent."

Fujima laughed again. "That might get a few people in the seats. Maybe."

As much as the lousy attendance was a running joke amongst his teammates, Sendoh honestly fucking hated it. In Ryonan the arena had been full every game, cheering for their team. In Shohoku the arena was sold out well in advance for basically the entire season. Rukawa didn't know what it felt like to play for a half-empty arena because even when he played in Okinawa the arena was reliably full. Of Shohoku fans. With Kaede Rukawa jerseys.

But tonight they were playing against Miuradai, so no one was going to be there.

"Maybe we should play shirtless," Fujima joked. "That could bring in a new audience."

"Would be cold," Sendoh said.

"Yeah. And also I would probably die."

"Shirtless goaltending. Bad idea," Sendoh agreed.

"I guess we could start winning," Fujima mused. "That might work."

"I will suggest it at the next meeting."

"Who's the extra coffee for?"

"Luca."

Fujima snorted. "He's gonna frame it."

"Fuckin' A!" Tsuchiya yelled as he slammed into Sendoh in the corner, wrapping him in a hug. Sendoh had scored early in the first period, making it 2-0 for Tendouji. The goal siren blared, the fans who'd bothered to show up cheered, and the team's goal song started playing (DJ Khaled's "All I Do Is Win," which seemed like an ironic choice to Sendoh.)

"Your turn next, baby," Sendoh said, trying to match Tsuchiya's energy. He bumped hands with their other teammates, Tama Daiki, who frankly wasn't good enough to be on a line with either of them. Sendoh dreamed of a day where his power forward was as strong as him. Maybe it would be Luca someday. He had potential.

But Sendoh was tired of waiting. Tired of losing. He wanted a star power forward player on his line now.

He wanted a lot of things now.

"Great start, fellas," Coach Washi said cheerfully when they reached the bench. "Keep it up."

They didn't keep it up. By the end of the second period it was 36-22 Miuradai.

"We played against Ryonan last week," said Murasame Kengo, Miuradai's star center, as he and Sendoh waited for a face-off. "They were really good."

"Cool."

Murasame huffed and shook his head. "I have no fucking idea why you signed with this team."

"Maybe I like the quiet."

"You know we've got rookies who had posters of you on their bedroom walls?"

"Nice. Good taste."

"You shouldn't be here, is all I'm saying."

Sendoh's lips curved up. "Next time I sign with a shit team in a boring city, I will choose Miuradai."

He could tell Murasame was trying not to smile. "You're fucking weirdo, Sendoh."

The game ended 40-22 for Miuradai. Most of the crowd had left by the middle of the third period.

"Rough one tonight," Hiromi said to Sendoh in the locker room after the press had finally left.

"Rough one every night," Sendoh sighed. He remembered when basketball had been fun.

"If it makes you feel better, I regrammed this photo of a pumpkin a fan carved your portrait into. It's pretty impressive." He held out his phone so Sendoh could see.

"Wow." As far as pumpkin portraits went, it was impressive. Sendoh loved how weird Japan, Okinawa Halloween was.

Then he got an idea. He took a few seconds to weigh the pros and cons, then stood up and announced, "Halloween party this year is at my house, okay?"

Everyone cheered and clapped, which made Sendoh smile. He never hosted parties, and rarely went to them. Because he was a terrible captain and teammate.

He would host this party, and it would be talked about for years. The best party ever. Epic. In Ryonan he'd been the one who organized impromptu outings. He'd been the guy his teammates called when they wanted to go out and get drunk and dance and get laid. He could be that guy again. He could try.

TBC

Girl: Aw... I miss you to see your names, Cutie! Thank You for keep following this story. love ya!