Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. Mistakes are mine.
Even the Pup is an Unmentionable by Debra8652
Chapter 24
Remy's POV
Things are getting back to what we euphemistically refer to as normal around here. Flash got released from the hospital Wednesday afternoon and is on third floor with Bobby and Zip taking care of him. He will probably go back to work on Monday. Dad Diesel popped in on Thursday afternoon from who knows where, and is staying in Flash's apartment. He declined Mrs. Bestler's offer to take him to the third floor where luggage and power tools are sold.
Dad Diesel knew that there was a disturbance in Mom's Man's forcefield so the three of us had a talk while Mom was on a sales call with Manny. Mom's Man is concerned that I can read his mind where he stores all sorts of classified military intel. Hint: I can. Dad Diesel can do it also, but he says his memory is so full of his own missions that he treats Mom's Man's missions as white noise. So Mom's Man is worried that Mom could pick up info on his missions by reading my mind. I told Dad Diesel what to tell him to put his mind at ease - that I block my mom from picking up info like that. She doesn't need to know that stuff - it's dangerous and disturbing. Mom's Man feels relieved, at least as relieved as a human can feel after meeting with two Unmentionables.
Lester stops by and asks if Dad D and I want to go down to third floor to visit Flash. I still don't like the stairs so we took the elevator. Flash is sitting up in bed watching the Westminster Dog Show. Lester's eyes light up when the Agility Championship comes on. Great. He looked at me and said "You could do that". Now when am I going to find time to do that? Those dogs train hard on a special course and travel all over to compete. I have duties. I visit St. Francis Hospital at least twice a month or more often if they call Mom and ask for me, I am in charge of morale at Rangeman, I watch over Rex and Freddy, I deliver searches and other paperwork to the guys in the bag Ella made for me, I pick up empty water bottles and put them in the recycling bin, and I keep the breakroom floor clean. Oh, I did make a grievous error and ate a little slice of something from the floor that Mom was cutting up for Freddy. It did not agree with me and made me more than a little gassy. Mom told me two things - that what I ate was a slice of cucumber, and what's a little more gas when she works in a building full of men.
So Friday morning comes around. Mom, my dad, Mom's Man, Bobby and Tank are already in the gym when Lester stops by fifth floor to take me to the gym. Why, just why? He's decided to teach me the Army Crawl. He appropriated a huge sweater drying rack from Ella's laundry room that he will use to demonstrate.
I let him show me how to crawl under it on my belly but I tilted my head and lifted my ear so he'd think I didn't understand it. I made him do it three more times - boy, my ears really got a workout from lifting them to look confused. He told me to try it. I did it - piece of cake. It's the same starting position as when I'm herding something. He made me turn around and do it again. By my third pass, I'd had enough. I got up and favored my left front paw and limped to my water bowl in the gym. Bobby and Tank are having trouble standing up, they are laughing so hard. Mom's Man winks at Mom - he knows what's going on, too. Dad D knew ahead of time what I was doing. I got my drink of water and walked back to everyone, limping on my right front paw. Dad D started laughing. Shoot - busted - must get my story straight. Add another item to the list of things I'm not doing - eating cucumbers, agility courses, and obedience school.
A/N I appreciate your reviews. This chapter is based on a review from PalomaD, who introduced me to Border Collie Agility Champion, Pink, and Redickave, who suggested that Lester try to teach Remy to do agility courses.