She was reading again.

In the little nook behind the ladder leading to the cockpit. He'd caught sight of her when he'd been heading up to check the ships energy levels and fuel requirements. The skin between her eyebrows was furrowed as she glared into the contents of the page. Raven flipped to the page her index finger had been curled around, before flipping back again, her head turning slightly with the movement.

She'd been like this for almost three years now. Every free moment the demoness had was spent scanning every letter on every page. She'd become more ghostly than he was with how little he'd seen her and how ensnared she had become with the text they'd taken from the hidden ghost-torture room within the Infinite Library.

It was practically an obsession. And Danny knew a thing or two about those.

On a good day, some gentle prodding and an offering of freshly brewed tea was enough to pry her away from the pages for a solid hour. She'd stretch her legs, make a few sarcastic remarks at his expense, and be right back at it before the halfa had a chance to convince her to leave the ship.

On a bad day she'd ignore him and nothing could be done to change that. He'd had to exercise his patience on those days. Taking long walks to put the agitation behind him, going for a flight and regretting it as he coughed out the excess ectoplasmic tinged blood behind the ship's rear wheel. A smoke break, a vow to find a better solution, before he was collapsing onto his hands and knees. Riding out the sensation of his failing breath.

The rapid gasping and painful twinge at the bottom of his lungs was uncomfortable on a good day. Nearly killing him on a bad one. They'd been lowering and lowering the amount of blood blossoms in the cigarette but no amount was low enough. It was still poison. And Danny couldn't see an endpoint. Couldn't imagine a world where this would get better and he could get used to it.

In those low moments when he couldn't catch his breath, he'd keep heaving and gasping, clawing at the ground, convinced this was it. He'd finally managed to kill himself. In those moments of final conviction, he wasn't sure if he was happy about that or not.

And then the feeling would pass. The blood in his mouth would fade and the strength in his limbs would return with the feeling of fullness the air gave his lungs.

And on the worst days? The days he failed to be patient? The days she failed to retain her anger? They were painful. Volatile. He would yell, beg, scream at her to just look at him, but she combated back with her harsh glares and quiet rebuttals. A controlled anger that only fanned the flames of his own even hotter. "You are acting like a child" she'd say. "It is not my responsibility as your friend to endlessly entertain you." He'd heard her say even more.

It wasn't about needing entertainment. He knew that and he hoped she knew that too. But getting angry in the moment, it was easy to place the blame on that. To act like the issue was that simple when it really wasn't. It was about getting enough human interaction to feel sane.

And it was, unfortunately, laced with his own issues. Issues that boiled down into fear. He'd been trying to get better at it, connecting with people who weren't her.

People who weren't going to stick around.

Because they couldn't.

But he'd just killed Danielle and he wasn't really over that yet. Three years was a blink of an eye to him, especially when he'd spent so much of it alone. So, while Danny was trying to connect with and validate his existence with the random aliens they came across... He wasn't being very successful. Try as he might he was afraid.

Afraid he'd have to watch them die.

Afraid he'd have to murder them too.

So when he'd caught sight of her reading that same damn book again, he'd stopped in his tracks. It had taken the world's largest deep breath to force the red out of his vision. To get the tension out of his back and clear his mind. He didn't know how long he'd stood there. Didn't know how long he stared at her. How long he took in the sight of the small mole near her collarbone. Just to calm down enough to address her.

He was already on edge tonight. When Danny caught sight of the sigil she'd burned into his skin, now fully healed over but still a dark red in its scarring, the memories of Zerox had forced themselves to the surface. The memories of Danielle. The way the clone has looked at him when she died. The way Raven had begged him to not go after Jesse.

He was still upset at the ask. It made sense but it didn't at the same time. They'd been staying low and rushing from planet to planet, system to system from this asshole who fucking tortured his friend. Who took her soul and left nothing in return. And she asked him to let that bastard go? Maybe part of his anger was stemming from that. This desperate need to do something and the one thing he could do Raven asked him not to do it.

So, again, he wasn't in a good mindset tonight. But he was aware of it and trying desperately to put a good foot forward before it dissolved into another argument. Another emotional outburst. Another day to regret.

"Hey," his single word broke the silence. At his utterance, her eyes flicked from the page to meet his, narrowed slightly in scrutiny, before they returned to the book. She was listening, but hadn't decided returning a verbal response was worth her effort. He fought against the urge to wince. Off to a bad start.

"I-" Danny choked on the word as he looked at her. How her attention remained split as he felt his heart bleed in his chest at the metaphorical blow her behavior towards him caused. "Um, I was wondering if you'd like to go with me into town?" His hand found its favorite place, fingers buried between the strands of hair against the base of his skull. He scratched in an inane endeavour to relieve the anxiety growing in his belly. "We're low on tea."

Ever so slowly, her eyes raised back to his, piercing into his gaze from underneath her eyelashes as she thought. Raven slowly closed the book and rested it against the top of her crossed legs as her hands gently pressed into the book's cover. Her head shifted upwards to more properly see him before it tilted to the side in consideration. She took a breath and then quietly stood, never once seeing or taking the hand Danny quickly extended towards her as she moved.

Another blow, another rejection. Though an unintentional one, a rejection all the same. The halfa bit his lip as he forced the emotion back down into his belly and smothered it. Don't ruin this, Fenton. She might agree. All the signs are here.

"That sounds pleasant." She told him as she tugged the book into her chest and gave him a teasing smile. "Last time you got a few flavors I wasn't particularly fond of. Accompanying you will prevent a repeat of that misfortune."

Danny took in a quick inhale at her words, the fire returning to his eyes was unnoticed as she walked past him and towards the exiting ramp. His arms dropped to his sides, hands curling into fists as his head fell, chin pressing gently against his clavicle. Wide, blue eyes with the slightest hint of green were burning with an intensity he was desperate to stifle. Calm down, man. The thought was wild and a little bit frantic as he gulped down air, lungs too full of oxygen and feelings. She was being playful. Not accusatory. You're not okay remember? Don't take it personally.

Don't take it personally.

Don't take it personally.

With his new chant ringing off in his mind, the halfa turned to follow. The demoness was in the middle of inputting the security codes when he'd caught up to her. A quickly thrown side eye, a set of furrowed brows, but no other acknowledgements of his existence were sent his way as they departed.

This was the third or fourth time the halfa had gone into the city for something, but it felt like the first. He blinked in surprise when they arrived, having little or no memory of his other visits he knew he'd made. Ancients, he really is out of it.

The modern city had plenty of spaces to provide parking for spaceships. They'd lucked out that this planet was big on public use and hadn't asked for anything from the pair to park there, just that they'd keep the space clean. The neon lights that decorated the mossy buildings was an odd, yet beautiful, contrast. The warmer than average planet was a delight to shop in, the towering commercial buildings held store after store on each individual floor. Each store was specialized to only sell a few types of things, but they sold so many different flavors and colors it was both a surprise the small spaces could hold so much product and a wonder that Danny had managed to forget where the tea shop was.

To be fair, the commercial district was laid out very similarly. The corners were hard to tell the difference of and Danny couldn't remember how to find a specific shop. All he knew was the tea shop was on the thirteenth floor of a lot at an intersection with a rather colorful looking tree tall enough to make any cat owner nervous. If this planet even had any cats.

His reveal of this information made the slightly amused smile on the sorceress' face vanish. Raven had turned away from him, her even steps moving steadily towards the nearest building's store directory, book still in hand, a translation spell weaving on her lips.

Once her attention had shifted off of him, the halfa forced his fists to loosen and his jaw to unlatch. His teeth had been cracking from the pressure of the grind he had unconsciously begun. Danny rubbed at his lower right jaw and winced as he felt his teeth begin to heal. The tell tale tingling he could feel within a few molars was a reveal he had gone too far with his coping strategy. Fucking anxiety. He felt like a live wire. Sparking at the exposed and raw ends, praying no one gets too close and for the rain to hold off another day.

She peered at the list as Danny slowly approached from behind, his breathing once more even and calm but his thoughts were still racing. I keep annoying her. I keep messing up, forgetting things, getting angry. Ancients, she's going to get sick of me. I'm getting sick of me.

"We took a wrong turn here." Her quiet voice broke through his inner dialogue. The demoness noted the position of the shop as she pointed at a spot of the sign that, to Danny, looked like every other place on the sign.

"Yeah, okay." Danny eagerly agreed, not really looking at the sign or girl. He felt willing to do or say most things in that moment, anything to distract himself from the self depreciating spiral his thoughts wanted to take. "Makes sense."

He caught sight of the corner of her face, the edge of her eyes brow tilting down as her lips remained tight and together. The demoness kept her gaze firmly on the sign as she chewed lightly on her lower lip as she contemplated her thoughts. Raven's mouth lost its tension right before she let out a tired sigh. She turned her head towards the halfa to face him and catch his gaze within her own as she asked, "Are you alright?"

"Huh?" Try as he might he was still surprised she'd decided to be straightforward now. Normally she'd let him come to her, only pressing when she deemed his issues self destructive or too debilitating to let him deal with on his own. Only ever pressing for talking when she found it necessary. Only ever offering help when she got tired of waiting for him to ask.

"You're anxious but trying to hide it." She told him as her feet shifted slightly, her body turning to fully face him, her attention solely on him exactly when he didn't want it to be. "You know you can talk to me."

"I... I know." His head turned away from her, he could feel how his eyes betrayed the lie, the slight wetness lining his lower lid. "I just don't want to-" Danny choked on the words when too many excuses tried to fly out of his mouth simultaneously. Which one would win the war and be the victorious fib? "I want to have fun with you." There, a half truth. More honest than most things that had almost escaped his lips.

She huffed in irritation and began to walk away from him, without looking back once. Danny followed like he knew Raven knew he would. "Don't want to what?" Her words were flippant, a failed attempt at hiding her disdain as she continued to press him for answers. Waiting to see if he would slip up more.

"This!" Argue. His hands flew into the air, palms towards the sky as if his agitation could evaporate from the skin there. "I don't know!" Make you mad, the thought was nearly hysterical. Here he was doing exactly the wrong things, forcing the situation into the precise one he had been desperately trying to avoid.

"You're assuming talking to me about what is bothering you will devolve into an argument?" Yes. Raven asked as his hands fell back to his sides and the bystander aliens around them eyed the peculiar pair.

They had stopped at a crosswalk, bicyclists passing by on the main road as they waited for the light to turn. "No, I just don't want to risk it. I want to keep things light. You know?" His hands made their way into his pant pockets, fingers curling into the fabric the way he wished he could wind them around hers.

"No." Her rejection was as strong as her tone, the conviction was almost tangible. "You can tell me what's wrong and I will listen. I'm sorry I gave you the impression that wasn't the case." Her head tilted towards him, he could see it at the edge of his vision, but he refused to allow eye contact.

"I-" It truly was a struggle. He didn't know how to tell her what was wrong. That he was oversensitive and under stimulated. That he was still angry they'd let her brother go. That he was still grieving. "I've asked a few times now what was so captivating about that book." A half truth, told in a playful tone that felt as forced as it sounded. "But you've been too busy reading it to give me a play by play." Take it, just take it. Take the excuse and move with it, please! "Guess I'm just getting impatient." Give me this mercy.

His attempt at a ruse was nowhere near successful. As he watched from the corner of his eye, Danny could tell by the way her frown remained, stubbornly, on her face. The way her head tilted ever so slightly to the right as her eyes narrowed. He hadn't fooled her for a second. He allowed himself to turn towards her ever so slightly. Just enough for her to see the corners of his eyes. But it was enough. She could see the pleading in his gaze. It must have been enough of a communication because, after a long moment, she turned her gaze to the book against her breast. Raven's arms shifted before she held it out so the cover could face the sky, an alien script prominent and proudly displayed. "...It translates into 'Gods and God Slayers'."

"That's..." It? Irrelevant, pointless, unhelpful. "Odd."

"*Yes." She whispered, the word sounded almost relieved despite the restrained way it had been spoken. The crosswalk blinked and its light turned blue before a harsh buzzing sound began to pierce the air. "It's written in nearly a hundred different languages. Half of them are dead." The demoness began as they crossed the road, a half dozen of local Bee-based aliens striding and buzzing, besides them. "It's been a difficult enough challenge to decipher but what's even more frustrating is that it's missing a page."

"A hundred languages?" The halfa had said the words too loudly, a low hum of angry buzzing echoed around him before he'd let out a soft apology. Upon arriving at the other side, the grouping dispersed, leaving the two humanoids alone at the intersection as the crosswalk blinked back to pink and the crossing sound ceased. "That's crazy. Why are there so many?"

"This compendium is the collection of an entire Universe's worth of knowledge on the most powerful and historic beings to ever exist." Her eyes were slightly glazed over as she spoke, her words getting faster with each additional word freed. A hidden passion unleashed at his prodding at just the right time, when she was in exactly the right mood. "Whoever created this didn't write it. Merely took written accounts from individuals and added it to the tome. See how the handwriting and symbols are different on nearly every page?" Raven asked him as she stopped walking and pulled the book from her chest.

She held it out towards him as she shuffled through the pages and showed him the drastic change in alien alphabets, the varying symbols, the differing penmanship. "This is a personal book, created for specific means I cannot begin to gleam." He took the edge of the cover between his finger and thumb, lightly stroking the strange material with his thumb as he gazed at the unintelligible text while he listened. "And once again, the pressing issue. The glaring mystery that ensnared me." The pages flipped until a bookmark was revealed, a pressed blood blossom leaf in pristine condition. A rough edge hidden next to the dried piece of foliage, ragged barely perceivable. "A page is missing."

She gently closed the book and tugged it back up against her chest, as though she were frightened she could have it taken at any moment. "The contents of said page are hinted at on various other accounts, something large. Terrifying. World ending." Raven told him as they began to walk once more, the sorceress' steps sure as she navigated while Danny followed one half-step behind her. "And what disturbs me is the fact this book looked recently touched in the Library. If Jesse tore this page out, I want to know why. And I can't figure it out." Purple eyes fell to the ground, no spark or hint of energy in their iris as she continued to tread forward. She looked so tired, why hadn't Danny noticed?

'Cause he's been too busy with his own problems. Selfish bastard, Danny thought vehemently to himself. You don't deserve her.

"I've been looking nonstop for any clues and I can't figure out anything." Her head softly shook as she bit at her lip. Frustrated. She was frustrated. And if she'd been constantly feeling that way it wasn't much of a wonder why she'd been so easily angered. Why there had been so many bad days. She had been waking up to read and reading before she slept. She'd barely had any breaks and she hadn't found enough to make it feel worth her time. Hell, Danny would be frustrated and snappy too if he were her. That sounded awful.

"Oh," That's what she's been up to all this time. She'd been trying to figure out what Jesse was up to. And he'd been moping like a baby. Useless. He was useless. "That sounds frustrating. Could I help at all?"

A soft sigh, a shake of her head, before the pair continued to walk. "Unless you've learned a decipher spell I'm afraid you'll be a hindrance." A hindrance, the thought bullied its way into the forefront of his mind. Useless. You're useless.

They stopped in front of a towering store that looked no different from the others save for the colorful tree at the front. Danny tried to force the thoughts away as he pushed at the door too hard, making it bang a little too roughly against the entrance. He winced as Raven walked in, her eyes watching him, judging him, scrutinizing his every everything.

He sighed as he followed her, remembering he'd never responded to her, his arm flew up to scratch at his head as he fought his rising anxiety. "Right. Makes sense."

She hummed as they moved towards the floating shaft. The little bee people of this planet could do minimal flight and had found use of it to pull themselves up between their store's floors. A safe environment within the housing as the winds outside were unpredictable and tended to be perilous. They were floating up to the teashop when she finally voiced her thoughts. "You're doing it again."

"What?" He increased his height too much too quickly at the accusation, nearly colliding with the feet of the bee people above them. He hissed out an apology at their annoyed humming as he slowed his ascent to once more float besides his partner.

"Hiding the discord within yourself." She clarified her arms crossed as she rose to his eye level, unamused. "I've been seeing it more often lately."

"Rae, I asked not to do this." The halfa pleaded, he turned to face her fully in the glass walled space. The slight updraft from the vents below was exposing some of his scarred torso to the world. His past, his pain, with nowhere to hide. She was like the air right now, exposing him without a care. Without any consideration on how he felt about it as the spark in her eyes revealed her determination to push him for answers. Please, just let me have today. Can't we pretend I'm okay for a few more hours?

"I never agreed to that request." The demoness' tone was resolved, unwavering, she wasn't going to stop. Danny wanted to get mad. Ancients, did he want to get mad. Red seeped into his vision as he stared at her, every muscle tense as he ground out his teeth and held back his ghostly desire to lash out. "Obviously something is wrong and you don't want to talk about it."

He threw his hands up, defeated, appalled, furious at the ask. Of course something was wrong. He was wrong. How had she not seen?! Raven had been so good at understanding him until that stupid book had entered their lives and upended everything. "Obviously! I just wanted to have a nice time out with you!" Danny had nearly shouted the words, the glass around them groaned at the ecto-energy he'd been unconsciously releasing. The sorceress' hand wrapped around his wrist to both absorb the excess energy as well as to pull him through the archway before them and into their desired destination.

The tea shop. They had arrived and Raven already was beginning to peruse its contents. But Danny wasn't done. Not yet. "And the worst part is you're choosing now to bring it up?"

She let go of him as though his skin were coated in acid, hand flying away from him as her head turned to look at him in shock. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I haven't been okay since I killed Danielle but you're choosing now to fucking dig your fingers into my heart and rip it out into the open?" The bee people were staring and Danny couldn't care. If he began to care he'd break. Shatter under the weight of all of their gazes. They were unabashed about it, their big wide eyes a third the size of their head all looking at the immortal pair, not understanding their words, but comprehending their tone. Knowing they were fighting and unable to look away.

"On the first real outing you've decided to have with me in years?!" He hated it. That he was talking about this very personal thing in a tea shop of all places. That he couldn't stop the tears from gathering in his lower lids.

He wiped them away. "I-" he choked, too many things he wanted to say, too many rehearsed words he'd practiced so many times all trying to escape at the same time. Blue eyes swept across the isles, made contact with each and every bee person watching. None looked away. Danny looked back to Raven, her face pale and form still, "I've tried to bring it up before. Why are you listening now?"

"I-" she looked speechless, stunned. It was simultaneously justifying and heart wrenching seeing the dawning look of horror on her face. The realization she had been ignoring him in her quest for knowledge. The unfairness of it all to ask for his problems too late and to pry them from his jaws after he had tried to offer them freely. "I'm so sorry."

"Right."

"I am."

"I know." He turned away from her and half-heartedly picked up a tea box, turning it over to gaze at the back, his expression blank. He could only read the bee script on the back due to the translation spell she had cast on him when they'd gotten here. But just because he could read it, didn't mean he was reading it in that moment.

His mind was too occupied with the conversation but still desperate to find a way out of it. But even more desperate to ask the questions that haunted him. The answers he needed to begin to forgive her. "But it's not just that. It's-" You let Jesse go. "You-" let him go. "You asked me to let him go." Try as he did he couldn't stop himself from voicing the truth.

The thought that kept him up at night. The anger he felt towards her brother. The hatred he'd held every time they'd run. Danny had done enough running for both of them. "I-I know why." She'd told him why, said she didn't want to risk losing him. Said if they failed the altercation she would end up dead.

But they were competent warriors. Hell, they were terrifying fighters. They'd begun the toppling of an empire. They'd been on the front lines of a battlefield for centuries. The only reason Jesse has gotten as close as he did to victory was because Danny didn't know the risks and they had been ambushed. But her brother was down a halfa clone and Danny knew what to watch out for. They wouldn't lose an altercation with her brother, not in the state they were in. So why run? "But running will only get us so far. If he's chasing us why are we running Rae?"

"Danny-" he could see the half truth forming on her tongue. He'd seen a lot of those lately and he was getting sick of them.

"You're asking me to do nothing, Raven." The halfa spat as he threw down the box of tea back into the bin filled with its brothers. "I can't just do nothing! Especially without the full reason. 'Cause the more and more I think on why you said not to go after him the more and more it doesn't make sense." He couldn't catch his breath. He had too many things to say, too many things to feel and his lungs were working overtime to cleanse them out.

"You don't want to risk me. But aren't we risking ourselves every day we run? Living on the edge, hoping we don't wander into a trap?" The only way Jesse could win against them would be with a trap. Every day they ran they gave the bastard another opportunity to corner them. Another chance to even the playing field.

"It doesn't make sense." Danny stressed as his hands came up to cars through his hair, fingers digging into the roots as he tugged, blood pooling and scabbing when he scratched. "Rae, make it make sense."

He couldn't live like this any longer. Doubting her. Hating himself. This feeling of being watched, of being lured. It was consuming him, overcoming him, drowning him.

"Tell me the truth."

The demoness sighed as she turned away from him, her profile was emphasized by the setting sun behind her. The clear glass allowed the light to illuminate the curve of her nose, the sharpness of her cheekbones, and the arch of her brow. Her gaze looked through the tea options but did not latch onto anything as she gathered her thoughts. "When I found you in that shower, falling apart from your guilt? I knew I would do whatever it took to keep your hands clean from then onwards." She picked up a tea box with her free hand, her thumb gently stroking the container as her eyes stayed away from his. "You're willing to kill, but it destroys you every time you do. And it haunts your every waking moment." Raven told him, her words solemn and certain. "You don't deserve that existence. No one does. So I asked you to let him go." She let the box fall back into the bin, her eyes finally, finally looking back at him. "For your sanity's sake."

Danny's hands became fists, his ecto-energy throbbed in his core as he repressed it, his chin fell towards his chest, hair covering his eyes as he admitted his shame. "I want him dead, Rae." He whispered. A monster. I'm a monster.

"Would you have felt any different? Between killing Danielle and killing Jesse would you have had any less guilt?"

"I-"

She had sensed the lie on his tongue. "Truly?"

"I-" He swallowed, his throat suddenly too dry. "I don't know." The bees were still watching, he could feel their gazes on his skin, burning away at him. They couldn't understand him but he felt wrong admitting these things to her when others were around to hear. His weakness, his guilt, his heart exposed. "I'd like to think so."

He heard her approaching footsteps, felt a hand press against the skin of his bicep, a comforting gesture, a silent apology for having this discussion here, but dammit if they didn't need it. "If I know anything about you, I know your heart." Her voice was gentle. Gentle enough to make him want to look at her, but also enough to make Danny want to never be in her space again. "And you are a very kind, very impulsive, man." He let out a sad chuckle, his fists losing their grip and his fingers fell limp. "I would rather run for ten thousand years as I gather up the courage to end him myself then let you take the fall for me again." He blinked and moved his head up enough to see her, see the regret maring her features, the sympathy, the pain. "You always step up when I falter, I won't allow you to do so here too."

"Rae-" he tried to stop her but Raven shook her head and cut him off, determined to get through to him. Determined to explain her truth.

"I-" her voice was rough, she paused to clear her throat before she tried again. "I don't want to be like Father. Seeing lives as tools, disregarding their value." Raven let go of him and moved past him, her hand reaching out for the closest shelf of tea and grabbing the first box she came in contact with. "Every life I took in the war was taken out of mercy." She stressed as she began to check the product's contents. "A desperate and foolish hope that life in the ground would be infinitely better than within the confines of an evil and cruel galactic empire." Her nails were biting into its packaging as her breathing slowed, pupils wide with agony. "But I'll never know if that was true. I have to go each day carrying the weight of them with me, praying to any gods who will listen that my guilt will lessen."

She turned to him before she pressed the box into his open hand and Danny took it from her without hesitation. The demoness's hands moved the book up to her breast to hug it tightly as she turned her back to him once more. Unwilling to face him while she spoke. Unable to face him.

"But killing Jesse? In that moment it would have been an act of rage. Of selfishness." She spat the words like they were poison, the spite within them strong enough to leave a flavor in the air. "If I were to do it today it still would be." The words were quiet. The admission was spoken like a personal failure. The kind only ever admitted to yourself in the dark where no one could hear you.

"I won't be like Father." She whispered under her breath. "I can't."

"I won't." Even quieter.

"I can't." Barely a sound.

He was silent for a long moment, still holding the tea box she had mindlessly grabbed. Still hoping he wouldn't accidentally stim with it and break it beyond usability, but too engaged with her to pay it any kind of attention. "Rae." His whisper was as pain filled as hers had been. "You're nothing like Trigon."

"I would like to hope so." She sounded so tired. Like the weight of the Universe was on her shoulders. Like she hadn't slept in the last thousand years of their lives. "But killing in an act of rage, I-" the demoness finally turned back towards him, book still held close to her chest, sun peaking behind her. Her form haloed by the rays; ethereal, regal, determined. "I won't be that." She vowed her gaze locked onto his, her voice rang out with conviction, the bees as captivated by her tone as the halfa was by her words.

"So we let him go. I let him go. To chase us and torment us until I can come to terms with myself. Of the need for this necessary evil. Without the inkling of rage or hatred influencing my mind." She moved, her body practically gliding as she took the short few steps she needed to reach him. A hand fell from the book only to come up to his jaw, fingers softly pressing into the skin by his cheek.

"Because you will not do this for me." She promised and he wanted to look away. How could he let her look at him as if he were the most important person in the universe? When he'd done so much? When his sins were too much to bear most days?

"I must do this for you."

He burned. The sear made him turn away making her hand fall from his cheek. "Oh." No, a part of his mind screamed at the rest. Don't do this, don't make it worse. Bury it and move on, please.

But he couldn't. He couldn't contain the anger that burst forward at her words, couldn't stop himself from freeing his frustrations. "You're doing this for me?" He mocked as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned into her space. "For me? The person you've been ignoring?" She blinked in surprise and moved to step away from him, nearly colliding with the nearest shelving unit. Funny, he'd forgotten they were in the middle of a tea shop.

It was too bad that he couldn't care about that right now. "I get that figuring out Jesse's plans is important but Rae. I-" I killed Danielle, he wanted to scream. I've lived too long and it's destroying me.

Too real, too close to his heart, too true to say especially in a tea shop surrounded by bee aliens who hadn't decided if it was worth attempting to kick them out yet. Ancients, they were causing a scene. But they just kept watching, their forms as still as the shelving and containers around them. "You're leaving me alone." He whispered as he uncrossed his arms to bury his head in his palms, the tears were flowing despite his attempts to stop them.

"Vlad's gone, Raven." Danny's voice was cracking more than it had when he'd hit puberty. The loss of the other halfa still too fresh. Without anyone to snark at first thing in the morning, the loss of Vlad was still too felt in his day to day life. The empty areas in their ship were growing more noticeable by the day. The spot where the elder halfa used to like to read by the exit ramp, the drawer in the kitchen that had been devoted to his favorite tins of biscuits. Both were now empty and unused spaces, neither of the pair of immortals had the heart to fill them. "You're all I have."

She huffed and he heard the fabric of her sweater shift. "It is not my responsibility as your friend to endlessly-"

"It's not about entertainment!" His head snapped up as violently as his words had been spoken. Wrathful, furious. "Rae, I thought you knew! I-" there were too many things. Too many words and thoughts and feelings all trying to leave his lips simultaneously. He gestured around him as if that could begin to encompass the magnitude of the underlying issue. "They're not going to last!" He felt out of control, like a wild bull let loose in a glass shop. Or more accurately, an unstable half ghost unleashed in a tea shop.

"Maybe in a thousand years I'll be back to being okay with filling time with the locals. Talking to them, hearing their stories and finding meaning in existing. But-" I can't. I can't stop seeing her face. I can't stop wishing I'd died in Vlad's place. I can't be friends with anyone mortal right now. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I'll shatter.

"I'm not there right now. I need the person I know is going to stay. A person I won't have to fucking mercy kill because her soul is gone." He could feel the blood trickling out from beneath his nails, the slight pain radiating from his palms and the soft splashing noise the blood made when it came in contact with the tiled floor. When had he balled his fists? "I was bothering you because I need you! Your attention. Your laughs. Your time. Hell, just let me sit in your space, Rae." He couldn't stop himself. With how desperate he felt, nothing, not even the gods themselves, could have stopped him from begging. "Please."

"Danny, I-" Stunned, she looked so shocked. Why was she so surprised? This felt like a long time coming for Danny. She'd been writing his concerns off for a while. "I had no idea you were struggling so badly."

"Don't kid yourself." He spat, his words felt like poison in his mouth. Danny wished he could stop talking, but it felt so good to be letting this all out. Like relieving pressure in a steam valve, the heat was escaping so quickly after all of that unbearable pressure was built up. It was like he could finally breathe again. "You weren't paying attention."

"That's part of it, yes." Raven whispered, she placed the book she valued so highly onto the top of the tea shelf beside her before she took a hesitant step towards him. "But I would normally wait until I could feel your sadness reach certain energy levels before intervening. I'm realizing I had fallen into the old habits while in my distracted state." Another step, her unburdened hands reaching out towards his. "I was waiting for signs that wouldn't come and was too engaged with the book to think about it." Her hands took his and she pulled them up to her chest, pressing them against the warm material of her black sweater. "I was using my ability to read your energy as a crutch, one I no longer have available. I failed you as a friend and for that, I am truly sorry."

"Rae," she looked so honest, so disappointed in herself. He wanted to say more but she beat him to it.

"I've been apologizing a lot today." The observation was stated with an amused half-smile that didn't reach her eyes. "You know I'm not fond of giving apologies. I only give them when I've truly wronged someone. And I have truly wronged you." Her right arm came up to rest her fingers against his cheek, her eyes filled with a fire that sparked something within himself. "I'll make it right."

"Thanks." He whispered, the feeling within him growing with every additional moment Danny looked at her. "Thanks for telling me the truth."

"I should have told you the truth in the beginning. I-" her hand fell from his skin and he looked away as she moved back towards the tome. "I didn't want to admit my struggles. But I should have shared them."

"Yeah, but we got there eventually that's what matters right?" He teased, everything forgiven, back to the way it should be.

"Of course." She grabbed the book and turned to him, holding it out at him with both hands. "Could you hold this for me?"

"You could magic it away?" Her pocket dimension wasn't capable of holding much, but it could easily hold that book and a couple of pens.

She sent him a soft smile before she gently pressed it into his chest. "Yes, but I'd rather trust you with it."

She was trusting him with it. Trying to show it wasn't more important than their friendship. That feeling in his gut was growing again. Uncomfortable in the way it tugged at his gut and made him feel full and nervous all at the same time. It felt like- "Aw! You do care!" Nothing he couldn't ignore for a little bit longer. He took the book into his hands and his eyes couldn't leave her form as she turned her back to him to truly shop through the store's tea selections.

"Always." She whispered, but he could hear her despite the constant buzzing around them.

But something was wrong.

He looked at the tome in his hands and couldn't stop the soft, "Um," from escaping his lips. It was the first time she had let him hold the book, fully touching it and all of its glory. "There's-" something off, something wrong. Blue eyes squinted at the tome as he turned it in his hands. "Hm." It was faint, something that resonated with his core, calling out to him. "There's something..." the smallest, faintest trace of ectoplasm. Concentrated in the book's spine in a long slim strip, placed there a very long time ago. He ran his finger against the old, worn leather, tracing it's energy that felt very familiar.

Danielle.

His fingers phased through the book's spine, tips pinching the ectoplasmic tainted item before pulling it from its hiding space. He revealed a small piece of paper folded over many, many times. Probably as many as possible. A sharp inhale and his head snapped up to meet Raven's wide, impressed gaze. A beat passed before Danny stretched out his hand to offer her the folded page.

He'd never seen her be more gentle than she was as she unfolded the page. Her lips moved as she cast a spell under her breath, eyes sparkling with magic as she enhanced them to read the script. She blinked and her head moved slightly away from the page in the smallest reel from shock he'd ever seen. Her eyes met his over the top of the page for a single moment before she began to refold it. Raven grabbed the cover of the old book and slid the discovery into the book before closing it once more.

"Well?" Danny asked as he suppressed his every muscle from trembling with anticipation. "What did it say?"

"It-" she sounded breathless, her eyes were struggling to leave the tome as she spoke. Finally, she looked up and met his anxious gaze. "It was a vague list of instructions for performing a soul binding."

"Oh." Danny whispered as his face fell into disappointment. "Jesse probably told Danielle to hide it. A long time ago by how faint its energy was."

Raven paused, her eyebrows scrunched as she thought before she shook her head and responded. "If it contains anything additional, I'll look later." She turned back to the shelves and picked up the same box she'd looked at thrice now. "We're here for tea. We should begin shopping before they ask us to leave."

I'm putting you first, her words said without saying. It was a promise made in every step she took, each joke they shared and every tea they inspected. When his arms were overflowing with boxes and he was juggling them about his biceps, desperate to keep hold of everything without the use of any powers, she covered her mouth to smother the giggle that he'd heard escape between her fingers.

And the something he'd felt earlier was back full force. Back with a vengeance as his heart backflipped in his chest and his breath caught in his throat. Danny stood beside her as she paid, unwilling to acknowledge the feeling and thanking every God he'd never heard of that she was no longer privy to his emotional state.

He'd felt this before. A long, long time ago. In a version of it that was significantly less all encompassing than this. In those short few months he'd had with Sam, despite everything, before it went to shit.

It terrified him.

He blinked and came out of his thoughts with a deep sigh. They were at a crosswalk, the insistent buzzing a low hum in his ears as they waited for the light to turn. The sun was low on the horizon and the wind was beginning to pick up.

"Will you stay this time?"

"Huh?"

"You were disassociating very deeply back there." The light changed color and the masses around them began to move. Their little bee legs hurried across the street as the storm pushed in, the two humanoids didn't care about the danger. It barely registered as a threat. "I was wondering if you were back for the day, or if I needed to keep walking you through the city."

"I-" his mouth felt dry at the sight of her. Danny cleared his throat as he tried to ignore the way his heart was trying to beat out of his chest. "I'm back. Sorry."

"It happens. I-" she let out a huff, annoyed at something Danny couldn't gleam. "Thank you," she whispered as they continued on their way back to the ship. "For today. It was nice."

"Really? Despite everything?"

"Yes." Her voice curled around the word affectionately. There was no doubt to the sincerity of it, but Danny couldn't believe it. "Despite everything."

"Well, thanks for coming out with me." He said as he laced his fingers behind his head and stretched out the muscles in his arms and back. Just when had he gotten so stiff? "It takes two to tango, after all."

She rolled her eyes as they turned the corner. Charon was in the distance, still parked in their well maintained parking space, glistening with the shine from the slight rain that had begun to fall. A slow crescendo, building up to a heavy rain that was sure to blind and drown any left outside to feel its might.

They ran the last few meters, their dried goods enveloped in a thick shadowy barrier to protect it from the building rain. He turned them both intangible when they met the metal of the hull. The act was dual faceted, it dried them instantly and left them within the shelter without exposing any part of it to the fresh water.

The magical barrier fell from the products as she placed them onto their small table. Raven turned and began the mundane task of organizing and putting their haul away.

And Danny watched. He watched as she wove her fingers and pulled each tin and container towards herself, read their contents, before moving them into individual spots in their drawers and cupboards. The way her eyebrows scrunched as she concentrated, the gentle hold her fingers took around each object, the slightest movement her lips made as she read their backings. His heart felt too full. It was too much. Too much to bear as the reality of his feelings began to crush him.

"I'm gonna go for a fly." He turned to rush out of the room but her voice stopped him in his tracks. Ancients, he was pathetic.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. I-" it took everything in him to prevent his voice from cracking. He needed to get away. He needed to panic somewhere else. Anywhere else. So he could actually try to think. "I need to be alone. Is that okay?"

"Yes. I understand." She paused, long enough for him to contemplate leaving. Just when he took a hasty step to leave, was when she finally said more. "Don't push yourself."

The laugh that escaped him sounded way too forced. She knew he wasn't alright but wasn't going to push him for answers. He hadn't fooled her for a second. "Wouldn't dream of it."

He launched himself through the ceiling of their ship and into the air. Cold, wet, wind flew past him, without hindering him in the slightest. His intangibility allowed him to continue upwards unaffected by the elements. Danny continued to force himself higher, higher, and higher until he was in the clouds. Higher still, until he broke through them and saw the stars in their full beauty. He floated there in the place between space and life as his heart burst with feeling and let his mind truly immerse itself in the revelation.

He loved her.

Oh, how long had it been? How long had he been by her side and clueless to how he felt about her? How many years? When did it start?

Because of course he loved her. He was always doomed to do so. Her quick wit, her stubbornness, her pride, her kindness. How could he live and breathe around her and not fall in love with her?

He let himself bask in the emotion. The love overwhelming his heart as he stared into the abyss sprinkled with the sparkling light of the heavens.

He loved her. Of course he loved her.

But then the terror set in. The fear. The pain.

He'd loved Sam, too. Not to this extent, but his love hasn't been able to save her from her demise.

Danny felt the panic quickly rising in his chest. His breathing turned rough, shallow, and ragged as his heart raced in his chest. He wasn't dying, but it felt like he was. He wrapped his arms around himself in an inane attempt to keep himself from falling apart. Tears sprung from his eyes, forming into ice crystals on his cheeks as he floated, half submerged, in the clouds. She's more durable than Sam, he thought to himself frantically as he bruised his ribs with his grip. More durable and she can take care of herself. It's okay. It's okay to love her, he chanted to himself, head burying into the meat of his thighs as he fell apart. As he mourned and feared and remembered and hoped.

He didn't know how long he floated there. It was still dark when he came back to himself.

Eventually, long fingers lost their grip and the built up tension in his back lessened with every additional breath. His eyes had crusted over with ice that shattered when he forced his lids open. The sight of the stars, both so near and so far away, calmed him through the jitters and aftershocks of his panic attack. His breath evened out and the pain in his chest faded away the longer he stared at the sky.

He loved her.

But she didn't love him back like that.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he leaned back to lounge against the top of a cloud. The wet chill gave his mind a sharpness to it, like a black coffee in the morning.

That's okay, he reassured himself as he snuggled into the cold. It's okay that she doesn't love you like that. She's still your best friend.

The truth of it was, they didn't need a romantic relationship. Especially when they were still too broken. Too dependent on one another. He knew it wouldn't end well if he tried to start something now. Even if she somehow agreed to try, it wouldn't be healthy. It wouldn't be right.

She'd been helping him so much over the years. Through his anxiety, through his self hatred and doubt. He couldn't try to throw a relationship into that. It wouldn't be fair. For either of them.

They were all each other had. And they were both pretty broken.

He needed to work on himself. Let himself really heal before pursuing her. He needed to become someone capable of being in a relationship before he brought it up. Someone stable enough to not burden her with the responsibility of his own baggage and maintaining his mental health. He needed to be able to maintain most of it without relying on her. It wasn't healthy. It wouldn't be right.

And sadly, she did too. But he couldn't do anything about that.

His eye caught a cluster of stars shining brighter than the rest. He let out a melancholy sigh as he gazed at them and wondered if this world had constellations he could learn. He thought about how long these particular stars had been around. How long they'd stay and if he'd outlast them.

Danny had something to live for now. A goal to work towards to fill the time as they traveled. Even if it took ten thousand years. He'd get there. Eventually. He knew he could.

He'd get better.

He'd make himself better.

For her. For them.

For him.