The room with the five point, star shaped window. The one in the attic that from the outside looks beautiful, with the even and well-kempt shingles and the shining luster to the glass. The room with the window that everyone that lives in the house knows is falling apart, bit by bit. The room with the support beams that are being taken out one by one by each other, each one demolishing another as it fell, as they collided. The floor, slanted and slowly rotting with water damage and termites. The inside of the walls stained and cracked, old wallpaper peeling and oozing something dark and unknown.

The room with the window in the shape of a beautiful star that only serves to mask the decay behind it, steadily going to ruins.

Izuku was that room.

And there was only one support beam left.

--

Things didn't really get any easier.

Izuku was anxious and worried about everything. He had to work harder to make himself understood, which had been difficult for him in the first place.

Sign language lessons were going well though, especially when Izuku didn't really have much of a choice except to use it every day with his classmates. Together they were all learning quickly and practicing out of necessity. Koda helped them as well, but he wasn't actually fluent in JSL as they learned. He could speak, he was just self conscious of his voice, which the class was quick to help him with. And learning sign language actually helped him come out of his shell a bit, and Izuku learned he was a super friendly and kind guy.

Things were difficult, but Izuku was handling it. He met up with Shinsou more and more, really getting to know him. He learned that the other boy was actually Aizawa's adopted son, which he'd been strictly told not to 'tell' anyone.

Jokes about Izuku's muteness seemed to be his favorite, though Izuku didn't mind at all. In fact, he thought it was hilarious. There weren't a lot of people that were willing to joke around with him in such a way.

No one else, actually.

They were getting close, though, so of course Izuku invited Shinsou along when Uraraka brought up the idea of the class finally going to the mall once they all had a free weekend, bringing up the fact that most of them needed to get things for the upcoming training camp anyway.

Shinsou refused at first, mentioning that he wasn't even part of the class, but Izuku was able to persuade him by waving his hands around and smiling widely.

He had an 'unspoken' plan for that anyway.

The day before their trip to the mall, Izuku sat at lunch with his friends. He'd woken that morning feeling more awful than usual. It was raining and chilly out, and the scar tissue along his throat itched and stung. His mood was down and he was tired, due to lack of sleep and just... something. His head ached and he was just...

He sat at the table, Shinsou on his left and Iida on his right, Uraraka in front of him and Tsu and Todoroki on either side of her. He was surrounded by people that cared about him and yet... he couldn't help but feel so alone.

His classmates seemed to catch on and were being a bit more soft spoken than usual, making sure to include him in on the conversations as much as they could, using what sign language they knew so far. Izuku wasn't really eating, just pushing his food around, and he kept finding his attention drawn to the big windows laid into the far wall of the cafeteria.

They stretched nearly from floor to ceiling, and through them he could see the spring trees beginning to bloom. Just this time, a year ago, All Might had offered him One for All. One year ago, his life had changed drastically and suddenly, and now here he was.

Izuku felt strangely numb about it all. Maybe All Might should have chosen a different successor. Izuku had been injured so permanently before his career could even begin. He couldn't even protect himself. How was it any different than when he'd been in middle school, being used as Kacchan's personal punching bag?

Kacchan was an entire different can of worms as well. Izuku had noticed things about him recently, after he'd so quickly agreed to take JSL lessons with him. That just wasn't like him at all. He never did anything for Izuku unless it was against his will, and even then, it was with an underlying tone of passive aggression and anger. Always anger.

So, Izuku had been paying attention. He was good at that, if nothing else. He noticed the way the blonde often demanded people to repeat themselves, how he leaned in closer than was normal, how his hands clenched in the seat ahead of Izuku during class when their teacher was lecturing, as if he was struggling to hear.

It made sense, with Kacchan's quirk, with how many harsh explosions went off close to his head so often. Human ears weren't equipped to deal with that amount of auditory input in such a close range and so often. His AP shots alone were loud and rapid, it would be remiss to think he suffered no damage because of his quirk.

Izuku just wondered how long he'd had hearing damage, how long had this gone on without him telling anyone or anyone noticing? Izuku needed to do something about it, but so far, he hadn't thought of a way to approach the other hero student. Middle school might be a year away at this point, but those fears still remained too close beneath the surface. Nothing could take away years of abuse, even piling on more and more trauma didn't make the old one's obsolete.

It just made a more messed up version of Izuku.

"Hey." A tap on his shoulder had Izuku jumping so hard his knees crashed into the table above them and he whirled to the side, eyes wide.

Shinsou raised his hands, a brow up. "Whoa, man. You were really lost in your head weren't you? Uraraka's been trying to get your attention for like, five minutes."

Izuku looked over at her, frowning and quickly gesturing a 'sorry' with his right hand. "It's alright." She shook her head, concern in her eyes. Izuku felt bad for putting it there.

"Midoriya, wanna skip the rest of the day?" Shinsou suddenly said and Izuku looked back at him in surprise, noting his friends' smug grin. "We can hit up that cat cafe again. I've been wanting some boba anyway."

' Trouble' Izuku signed, the corners of his lips turned downward. They couldn't just leave class whenever they wanted. They'd get in trouble.

Shinsou snorted, leaning back. "We pay an exorbitant amount of money to be here. I think we can leave if we want. Besides, you know I can easily get us out of trouble if it comes to it."

Izuku dropped his hand, thinking. Shinsou shouldn't abuse his relationship with Aizawa like that, but also, the idea of finishing the day of classes, of pretending and getting through it, made him feel like a snail sprinkled with salt. Like he was curling up into himself, slowly but surely withering away.

'O.K.' Izuku signed, that particular one used a lot and coming and going almost too fast for anyone that didn't know it. But Shinsou did, and he grinned, grabbing both his own and Izuku's food to dispose of them.

Izuku stood, slinging his bag over his shoulders and glancing down at his friends apologetically. ' Sorry,' he signed yet again, feeling sweat gathering across his palms.

Uraraka smiled. "No need to be sorry, Mido. Go have fun, and feel better." Shinsou rejoined them, trays put away, as he too lifted his bag onto one shoulder and gestured for Izuku to follow him.

Just as they were walking away Uraraka called once more. "Enjoy your date, guys!"

And Izuku sucked in a breath so hard he choked on his own saliva and, while he was dying, trying

to catch his breath, he missed the look Shinsou shot back at the brown haired girl. Harsh enough to melt ice, but Uraraka only laughed, leaning into Tsu as Iida began making movements with his hands, probably lecturing the girl.

Shinsou glanced back at Izuku, expression softening. "You alright?"

Izuku nodded, coughing into the fold of his arm, eyes watering. Shinsou patted his back

awkwardly and dug into his bag for a water bottle, handing it to Izuku who drank from it gratefully.

He signed a thank you and gave it back, clearing his throat. Things were a bit messed up in his throat, though the hospital had done their best to fix it all. But Izuku definitely choked on food and drink a bit more than could be considered normal, and he sometimes felt like he had trouble breathing. Though that could be in his head.

"Alright, let's go get that Boba." Izuku looked at the ground, Shinsou's words echoing around in his head. It seemed like his friend was trying to sound more upbeat, which was strange for him. The guy always seemed like he was one step away from passing out wherever he was.

It made Izuku feel kinda lame that Shinsou felt the need to act differently just because of how he was at the moment.

They reached the front gate, umbrellas out and open, and Shinsou looked up at the camera, like before, and the gates seemed to magically open once again. Izuku waved a hand, getting Shinsou's attention, and the guy looked at him. ' How?' Izuku signed, gesturing at the gate.

"How do I get them to open?" Shinsou asked for clarification and Izuku nodded. "Oh, Nezu always knows what's going on around the school, and he knows me, that I won't leave class unless I really need to. He opens the gates for me."

Izuku wondered if that happened a lot, that he had to leave. And Izuku suddenly felt a little bit better about being overwhelmed by school. Less like he was weak for wanting to get away for a bit, and more like it was something that happened to others as well.

"Tea again?" Shinsou asked calmly as they walked, and looked at Izuku who shook his head. "You want boba as well?"

Izuku nodded. It sounded really good right now, despite the fact that the day was a bit chilly, with the rain and the wind.

At the reminder of the rain, Izuku's throat twinged with pain and he resisted the urge to cover it with a hand.

The rain increased from a light dribble to an absolutely drenching downpour, and they increased their pace to a near run, side by side, and Izuku was smiling.

They were skipping school, running through growing puddles to get to the ultimate destination of boba and cats.

He didn't know why, but Izuku thought it was funny. And so did Shinsou, if the strange smile he cast at Izuku as they ran meant anything.

They arrived, nearly crashing into the window beneath the awning of the cafe, and Izuku dropped his umbrella, putting his hands on his knees and panting with laughter. Shinsou was even worse off, gulping in breath after breath, bent nearly in half. Izuku wasn't really winded, used to all kinds of running and sprinting after his training with All Might, but watching Shinsou react as if he was

literally dying was amusing.

"Shut hah hah up." Shinsou gasped out between harsh breaths and Izuku grinned widely, silently

laughing. "I'm fine , I hah run all the hah hah time." Izuku nodded, signing. ' Of course.'

Shinsou glared at him, but in a joking sort of way and Izuku shook his head, turning around and heading for the door.

They walked inside, Shinsou folding his umbrella. Izuku went to the same spot as before as Shinsou made their orders. The same cat from before found a place on his legs and Izuku leaned back, closing his eyes and taking in a deep, relaxing breath as he slid a hand through soft, fluffy fur.

He was suddenly incredibly glad Shinsou had offered this again. The purple haired guy seemed to know exactly what Izuku needed at any given time. It was strange to have someone notice him so much after going his entire life as part of the wallpaper.

Izuku cracked an eye open when Shinsou returned with the drinks, thanking him with one hand as he took the boba with the other. Shinsou nodded, dropping heavily next to him and taking a huge swig of the boba, sighing at the taste and lifting his head. "Best drink ever, second only to the wonders of a triple espresso."

Izuku laughed, nearly snorting his own first drink and Shinsou chuckled.

Izuku set his drink by his feet and leaned back, looking down at the cat in his lap, finding that it was warm and comfortable in the cafe, especially with a cat on his lap, and before he knew it, he was falling asleep. He was gone before he noticed his torso sliding to the side, his head falling onto the other boy's shoulder.

He also didn't notice the way Shinsou completely froze up, heart stuttering, grip tightening on his drink, blood pooling in his cheeks.

--

Izuku woke to a hand shaking his shoulder and he sat up so rapidly, the cat on his lap dug her claws into his leg in a desperate attempt to get away and Izuku grimaced.

He blinked the sleep away from his eyes and looked around in confusion, noting there was less light coming in through the windows than before.

He turned to Shinsou, eyes wide and demanding answers. "You seemed tired, so I just let you sleep." He stated and Izuku grabbed at his phone, eyes bugging when he realized it was almost six.

"Yeah, they're getting ready to close, that's why I woke you." Shinsou shrugged, and Izuku had the feeling he would have let him sleep forever otherwise.

He shook his head, apologizing over and over again, mouthing the word. He had a feeling that he'd fallen asleep on Shinsou and he felt so bad for it.

Shinsou waved a hand. "It's fine. We better get going."

Izuku nodded and reached for his umbrella, stomach flipping when he suddenly remembered. He'd dropped his umbrella outside when they'd reached the cafe and he hadn't brought it in with

him.

Shinsou made a surprised sound when Izuku jumped to his feet and rushed to the front window, searching the ground on the outside for any sign of his umbrella. It was gone.

Izuku pressed his forehead against the window with a sigh. Of course, that's how this day was going. Of course someone would take that umbrella. It was a limited edition All Might umbrella with his bright yellow hair tufts on the top. It was such a cool umbrella.

Izuku wanted to cry.

Shinsou came up behind him. "Your umbrella, huh?" He murmured, voice deep and Izuku nodded. "Sorry, I should have grabbed it. I noticed you drop it but then I forgot about it." Because he'd been distracted by Izuku's smile . But he wasn't going to mention that.

Izuku waved a hand, dismissing Shinsou's apology. It wasn't his fault that Izuku was so forgetful.

The cafe owner spoke up from the counter. "Sorry to make you leave, guys, but we're shutting down now. Hope the rest of your day is great!"

Izuku waved, sighing, and Shinsou followed him outside where they paused beneath the safety of the awning. Izuku looked out into the onslaught of rain. It was worse than it had been when they'd entered the cafe, which was just Izuku's luck. "We can share." Shinsou suddenly said, and then noticing Izuku's confused look, elaborated. "I can walk you to your door, we can share my umbrella."

' Are you sure?' Izuku signed and Shinsou nodded, snapping his black umbrella with the outline of a cat on it open and lifting it over both of their heads. It was a small umbrella, meant for one person, but Izuku shuffled close to Shinsou's side as they stepped out in the rain.

The rain was immediately loud above his head, creating a small dry area beneath it, but the sound of the rain was echoing around the small space.

They started walking, a bit unnaturally at first until they fell into step with each other, and Izuku felt comfortable enough with Shinsou to even lean into him a bit. His left shoulder was getting soaked, but he couldn't seem to care.

Shinsou wasn't speaking, staring straight ahead, and for a second Izuku was worried he wasn't happy with how close Izuku was. But he remembered it wasn't uncommon for Shinsou to fall into quiet periods, and not speak for any amount of time. There was no meaning behind it. Sometimes, he just didn't feel like talking, unlike Izuku, who had always felt like talking before... what had happened to him.

Shinsou looked down when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye and saw Izuku's eyes distant, his hand on his throat. He mentally cursed, belatedly realizing how much Izuku disliked the quiet, how his mind usually went to unhappy places when someone wasn't filling the silence. Izuku had never explicitly told him this, but Shinsou could tell. Somehow, he could always tell with Izuku.

So, he cleared his throat, drawing the shorter boy's gaze to him. "You know what?" He asked and Izuku tilted his head. Shinsou pushed the umbrella down into Izuku's hand, stepping out of its protection and into the rain.

Izuku gasped, eyes widening dramatically. He thrust the handle up to Shinsou who stepped back even further, smirking at Izuku's panic as rainwater coursed down his face. He knew his hair was falling down from its up position, that he was beginning to look like a drowned rat, but he couldn't bring it in himself to care because Izuku's expression was just so funny.

Izuku narrowed his eyes at him, then, shocking Shinsou, he dropped his hand, the umbrella falling to the side. And then they were both standing in the rain, facing each other, being drenched, and this was definitely not what Shinsou had intended to happen.

Izuku looked up at him smugly and Shinsou slapped a hand to his face, sighing deeply. What was he going to do with this guy?

He looked back down when Izuku made a running motion with his hands, a shit eating grin on his face. "What? I don't know that sign." Shinsou frowned and Izuku just repeated it, the smile not fading even a bit.

"Midoriya, I don't under-" Before Shinsou could finish the sentence, Izuku had closed the umbrella and taken off in the direction they'd been heading.

Shinsou blinked in shock before it hit him. This was a race.

Fuck. Damn it.

Shinsou shook his head, unable to stop his own smile from stretching over his features as he followed Izuku, picking up speed. Shinsou may be taller, but Izuku was so much faster and there was no way he could keep up.

The other boy seemed to realize this and slowed down to match pace with him, grinning, the umbrella clutched in one hand. "I don't hah like to run." Shinsou gasped out and Izuku laughed, shaking his head, but slowing down a bit more.

They ran for a bit more, before Shinsou called it quits, bending at the knees and gulping in air, soaked to the bone and out of breath.

"H-heck." Shinsou gasped out, lactic acid burning in the back of his throat. "How do you enjoy that?"

Izuku shrugged and patted Shinsou's sopping back while he regained the ability to breathe, finally straightening and looking at the green haired boy.

Rain water absolutely poured down his face, dripping over his cheekbones and off his chin. His usual poofy hair was darker and the curls were loosened, making it seem longer. It hung in his eyes like this and Shinsou had the impractical urge to brush it aside. He shook that thought away quickly.

"You better get a hot shower when you get home." Shinsou warned. "Or you'll be too sick for the mall tomorrow."

Izuku nodded, smirking, and pointed across the street where his apartment complex was. He hadn't even realized how close it was. They'd run farther than he'd thought. No wonder he was so out of breath.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning then." Izuku nodded and stepped into the road, waving to

Shinsou and signing a thank you before crossing the street and disappearing into one of the buildings.

Shinsou sighed, rubbing his chest where his heart hadn't calmed down from the run. What was going on with him?

--

"Kiyashi Ward Shopping Mall!" Ashido announced. She'd told Izuku to call her Mina at some point during their sign language class, but it was hard to get used to and he still caught himself finger spelling 'Ashido' instead.

The mall that stretched before them was tall and imposing. Izuku couldn't ever remember going to a shopping place so large. He'd been to smaller malls, with his mom when he was younger, but nothing this massive. He bet it could hold so many people.

Izuku was glad for the crazy tall presence at his side, wild purple hair that added even more height.

They entered the huge, populated mall and Izuku looked around in wonderment. There had to be over a hundred stores. At least a thousand people. Escalators and elevators stretched upward and down and to the sides, occupied with so many people, with so many different quirks.

Izuku's fingers itched to write down what he could observe and he almost considered pulling a notebook out of his bag and finding a bench, before he was reminded of why they were there as the class began splitting up.

Shinsou was the only one to stick around, obviously uncomfortable with the rest of the class. He didn't have a bag, instead wearing gray pants that were covered in pockets that he made use of. Izuku liked to wear shorts though, he overheated easily, hence the bag.

"Anywhere you want to go?" Shinsou sighed, arms crossed over his chest.

Izuku nodded and pointed to a wrist, then signed 'heavy'. Shinsou seemed to get it. "Wrist weights."

'Yeah,' Izuku mouthed. His arms needed to be stronger after what had happened at the sports festival, even though that felt like millenia ago.

So much had happened.

"Well, let's go." Shinsou pushed his way through the crowd, Izuku trailing after him.

They reached the sports store and Shinsou stood by, bored looking, as Izuku picked out his weights, feeling self conscious as he purchased what he needed. He felt bad that he'd dragged Shinsou along for this when he obviously didn't want to be here. What if he'd only come because he felt bad for Izuku? What if he truly was bored out of his mind?

They left the store, Izuku holding one bag against his elbow. He tapped Shinsou's arm as they walked out and the purple haired boy turned to face him, face blank. Izuku pointed at him, then gestured around the entire mall, trying to ask if there was anywhere that he wanted to go.

Violet eyes flicked to a particular store before settling back on Izuku as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "No, I'm fine."

' Hot Topic,' Izuku signed and Shinsou blinked. Izuku signed a bit slower and Shinsou caught

what he meant with a sigh and then shrugged.

"I'm predictable, aren't I?" He sighed, turning away and walking toward the dark store with the punk metal playing out of it. Izuku had never actually been in one of these, but he was curious.

He faced Izuku outside of it, concern marring his features. "Are you sure? Most people don't want to go into places like this?"

Izuku snorted, smiling. It was just a store. It's not like it was that bad. 'Yes .' Izuku signed and Shinsou shrugged, turning around and walking into the dimly lit store.

The music grew louder and Shinsou almost seemed to relax. If the sports store was Izuku's realm, then this... this was Shinsou's.

It was really crowded though. The store was too small for how many people were browsing the flash drives of music albums and dark clothes.

Izuku moved to a corner, out of everyone's way, not really sure what to do. He only had enough money for the weights and he didn't really need anything from here. He felt out of place in his plain shorts and 'Flannel' T-Shirt as he scanned the store, seeing so many things he didn't understand or know about.

That was when he realized he couldn't see Shinsou anymore.

The feeling of being out of place grew in Izuku's chest, pricking against his skin, Everyone was

looking at him, at how abnormal he was, at how plain he was, and he had to get out . He was lost in this crowded room and he felt alone.

Izuku pushed his way outside, hand clutching against his chest as his heart pounded, beneath his ribcage...

...the last beam trembled beneath the weight of the structure it supported.

Izuku stopped outside the store, moving toward a bench that separated the two paths of this part of the mall.

An arm fell across his shoulders halfway to the bench and Izuku froze, trying to turn to see who had grabbed him, but the arm tightened, inhibiting his movement.

Izuku frowned, anxiety spiking within his veins. He tapped at the hand, feeling cold skin. "You're one of the first year students from UA, aren't you? Can I have your autograph?" A slimy, serpentine voice exclaimed and Izuku shuddered.

Just... a fan? What should he do? If he was going to be a hero, he would have to get better at this. Did this person know he couldn't speak?

Izuku tapped the hand again and two fingers dug into his shoulder, almost painfully, and Izuku gasped, his feet stumbling over the ground as he was suddenly bodily tugged toward the bench he'd been heading to before.

He fell, his butt hitting the wood as the other guy sat down next to him, that hand lifting just slightly so that the fingers could curl around his neck instead of his shoulder.

Claxon bells rang in Izuku's mind, warning sirens blaring.

OFA pushed against Izuku's skin, threatening to overpower him, wanting him to get away, wanting him to fight.

"I can't believe I'd see you again in a place like this. Imagine it, a villain meeting the hero that stopped him at a mall of all places. You were great in your fight against Stain by the way." The voice said and Izuku's eyes flicked up, the man leaning forward, dark irises peaking out past a black hood.

Shigaraki .

Three fingers against his throat, one hovering just over his jugular. Shigaraki had to feel his pulse,

racing, through the roof, nearly feeling like it was going to stall out.

"Nothing to say, huh?" Shigaraki grinned, the face of a nightmare. "Well, this goes without saying, but don't try anything, okay? I could disintegrate probably..." Shigaraki hummed to himself, as if thinking. "At least four people before you manage to do anything."

Izuku couldn't help it as his eyes danced around. A woman pushed a stroller with a baby, her stomach swollen with another as she laughed up at a man, his arm around her shoulders. Another couple was walking by, two women holding hands, one of them blushing deeply and staring at her feet. An older man was sitting at another bench, dozing, his mouth open.

There were so many people, so many lives.

Shigaraki could, and would , end them in a second.

People with lives and history and family. Love and life and thoughts and memories...

Izuku couldn't breathe.

"Calm down." The grip around his throat pressed in further, his scar twinging with pain. Izuku wanted to scream. "I just have a simple question. Once you answer it, I'll leave."

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Izuku's eyes widened to mimic his mom's special dinner plates. He. Couldn't. Answer.

"I just want to know." Shigaraki sighed. "Why are people so focused on Stain instead of me. I was there too, you know. I set all those Noumu on Hosu, I wreaked havoc. People died because of what I did, but no one cares. The whole country is so upset, because of this Hero Killer. Why is that?"

There were a lot of things that could be said to assuage this situation.

But Izuku couldn't say any of them.

He tried to shake his head, tried to speak, but he couldn't evensqueak .

Shigaraki didn't know he was mute. Even if he'd been there, he only would have seen the initial injury. He wouldn't know it had rendered him mute.

Few did.

"Am I not worth your answer?" Shigaraki snarled, hand squeezing. Izuku could feel blood pooling in his face. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe. "I need to know!"

The voice hissed, angry and the villain's other hand grabbed onto Izuku's arm, index finger right

over the inside of his wrist.

No, no, no, no, no.

Izuku inhaled sharply.

"Oh? Finally gonna answer?" Shigaraki growled, finger just barely glancing across Izuku's wrist, a burst of pain flaring before he quickly lifted it, ending the decay before it could really spread.

But the pain was there. A warning. Izuku didn't stop to let himself think.

He clicked his tongue against his teeth as hard as possible, producing a sharp, loud, clicking noise. "What the fuck?" Shigaraki snapped.

Tears in his eyes, Izuku did it again.

The finger fell once again...

Shinsou appeared at the doorway of the store...

Izuku didn't notice, his right grabbing Shigaraki's forearm where his hand was rapidly decaying Izuku's wrist and arm.

He snapped forward, his weight carrying Shigaraki over his shoulder, flipping him onto his back without the use of his quirk.

The grip left his throat all of a sudden and Izuku choked, coughing, his own grip slipping. Shigaraki broke free, stepping away and Izuku dropped to his side.

"Hey, you, what are you doing?" Shinsou yelled, closer now.

"None of your-"

" Sit down and don't move." Even Shigaraki couldn't disobey Shinsou, falling to his ass and not moving.

Izuku was gaping on the floor, struggling for every breath, tears streaming down his face. He didn't even notice the blood pumping out of his wrist with each beat of his heart, so focused was he on trying to get breath back into his lungs.

The world was gone, the rest of the mall nothing more than an auditory mash up of random, unidentifiable noises. Just a soup of static sound.

"Midoriya. Shit. Midoriya." A hand closed around his wrist and Izuku flinched, trying to jerk away, screaming soundlessly.

"Midoriya, it's me! Fuck! Izuku!"

Izuku went still, one hand around his throat, the other held up by Shinsou as he tried to keep the

blood in his body.

This was too much like before, Izuku couldn't handle it. He couldn't breathe.

"Just... calm down." Shinsou commanded, eyes wild, face utterly devoid of blood, pale with fear.

Izuku nodded, his head feeling like it was on a wire, and his friend removed his phone from his own pocket.

Izuku's attention was strangely drawn to the cat decoration, hanging from the top of Shinsou's phone. It was small and black, with bright pink ears, a small tongue poking out in a 'blep'.

Shinsou raised the phone to his ear, words tumbling from his mouth. Meaningless. That was no language Izuku knew, was it?

The ground beneath Izuku suddenly felt soft and he was horribly reminded of his fight with Stain, of almost dying.

Of feeling that coldness, the darkness against his eyes as the ground beneath him seemed to disappear.

He was staring at that cat decoration when it dropped away, out of Izuku's sight, and he hissed out an angry breath.

"Izuku, look at me." Shinsou said, leaning over Izuku, violet eyes staring into his soul. Izuku's lips parted. 'What?'

"Just... what happened? Where did-" Shinsou's head snapped up, looking past Izuku. "DAMN IT!"

He yelled and Izuku flinched, his arm tugging in Shinsou's grip, pain shrieking across his synapses at the movement, and his heels kicked at the ground.

"Sorry, I'm sorry. Izuku, please." Shinsou dropped his phone, pressing a hand against Izuku's chest, pushing him into the ground beneath him. It felt like mush now, like he was sinking into it. It was gross, like he was in a swamp or something. He didn't want to be here, he wanted to be home with his mom, or back at the cafe with Shinsou, relaxing, with a soft cat on his lap.

Anywhere else.

Izuku clicked his tongue, trying to express how uncomfortable he was. Shinsou frowned, releasing his chest to get his phone again, holding it against his own head.

Izuku closed his eyes, sighing. He didn't know if this could have gone better. He didn't know if he should have done something differently. He didn't know if he could have, honestly. It'd happened so quickly. Maybe he should have thought to make that noise sooner, tried to get Shinsou sooner.

Was he really that helpless?

The fact that he couldn't speak... it had really changed everything in this 'fight'. He couldn't be a hero, could he?

There were other hands on him, other voices talking to him. Izuku didn't care.

Shinsou released him and Izuku turned his head, seeing deep eyes, filled with concern. Izuku's already uneven, painful breathing hitched as he was lifted upward and carried away. Shinsou didn't move, phone held to his ear almost absently, eyes on Izuku as if he wasn't actually hearing anything.

His other hand was covered in blood.

The last support beam within Izuku's chest tumbled to the ground in a pile of dust and Izuku closed his eyes, letting himself go.

--

Back in the hospital, plain walls and heavy steps outside. Voices passing by occasionally. Izuku was tired.

The police visited to get a statement, which Izuku easily gave by writing it down in a notebook. Aizawa and All Might came to see him too, both of them decent at sign language. All Might a bit less than Aizawa, but everyone was learning.

Shinsou came too, and he filled the silence with random stories. He also had a cat in his book bag that he pulled out and handed to Izuku to hold and pet as he talked.

It was nice.

It only took a day before Izuku was out of the hospital, a new scar across his wrist and forearm. Apparently, he'd bled so much because Shigaraki had opened a vein in his wrist, only decaying a part of it before fresh blood was pumped from his heart and out.

Which honestly, seemed like Izuku's luck.

Once home, he listened to his mother cry for a bit, complaining about UA and him wanting to be a hero before Izuku eventually persuaded her to let him stay with the promise to be more careful.

But he hadn't sought Shigaraki out. He'd been at the mall, with his friends. What could he have done to avoid this? It was like trouble just found him, no matter where he was. He couldn't have a good time without nearly dying.

Maybe he wasn't quirkless after all, maybe he was a danger magnet. It would certainly explain some things.

Once home, Izuku slept for twelve hours straight before his mom forced him to get up to drink some water and eat something.

And then it was back to class as if nothing had happened.

And after everything that had happened to him and his class, this really was nothing. Izuku was always in the hospital or in Recovery Girl's office for some injury or other. Plus, his class was attacked by villains more often than not at this point.

It wasn't surprising anymore. It was expected.

Once inside the class, he was greeted with cards and hugs and then he was back in his seat and class was starting, like normal.

But nothing was the same. Izuku's world had changed after the Hero Killer fight, but he'd recovered, he was doing alright. Why did he feel so different now? Why did he feel so exhausted ?

Behind him, that student said something about Izuku being lame and weak, offhandedly... And Izuku was done.

He stood up, Present Mic stopping midword, halfway through a lecture. ' Bathroom' Izuku signed stiffly and his English teacher nodded with a frown, dismissing him.

Izuku didn't go to the bathroom, instead crossing the majority of the school to push past the receptionist and bang his fist against Nezu's door.

Straight to the principal himself.

When he opened the door, Nezu was smiling.

Within a day, Shinsou was in the seat behind Izuku and Izuku's own status as someone that Must Not Be Messed With, increased dramatically.

Even Bakugou was leaving him alone for the most part. Things just weren't the same as they used to be.

Izuku wasn't the same.

Shinsou was the one person that actually seemed to help him, somehow. He always knew when Izuku needed a break. Taking him to the cafe and walking him home became a routine thing. He somehow even found out when his birthday was and got him a new All Might umbrella for it, since it was almost directly after the incident at the mall.

Izuku thought it was just gratitude for getting him into the hero class, but maybe... maybe that wasn't the case. No matter what, Izuku was glad to have him as a friend.

The summer camp was still proceeding as planned, though they were moving the location so that fewer people would know about it. Izuku wasn't completely reassured though and found himself wondering what fresh hell would be awaiting class 1A wherever they would be going.

With his classmates at his side, building him back up, Izuku started to feel better, bit by bit, the beams beginning to be reconstructed within his chest. They didn't often leave him alone anymore, but that just showed Izuku how much they cared. He didn't want to be alone anyway.

He finally had a much needed conversation with Todoroki and Iida that ended up, unsurprisingly, with Izuku in tears and barely able to sign, let alone write.

The other two felt like it was all their fault that Izuku had been so horribly injured. Todoroki felt especially bad that he'd used his fire on Izuku, scarring him so badly, so visibly.

Izuku was careful and forceful in his reassurance for the two of them, making sure they knew he wasn't mad about it. There were no hurt feelings with him.

He even made them each a pie with the help of his mom, giving them to his friends in class before lunch one day.

Todoroki didn't seem to know what to do with his when Izuku handed it to him, but Iida took the pie in his hands and lifted his head, sniffling.

"Thank you, Midoriya. I am truly glad to have you as a friend, that I have not destroyed our friendship."

Izuku took a step back, eyes widening.

He'd never... no one had ever been glad to be his friend before. He'd only-

"Look what you did, you made him cry." Todoroki stated flatly at Iida whose eyes widened. He pushed his pie onto Todoroki's and then patted Izuku's shoulder comfortingly.

"It was not my intention to make you cry, Midoriya." Iida said.

A snort sounded, coming up beside them and all three glanced up. "Like it's hard?" Shinsou raised a brow and Izuku's cheeks darkened with a blush. He didn't want to cry so easily. He didn't like that part of himself, but... he couldn't help it.

"It's okay." Shinsou said, knocking his shoulder into Izuku's.

Iida nodded, stepping back and taking his pie from Todoroki who then lifted his own. "Thank you for this, Midoriya, I will eat the entire thing right now."

Izuku blinked and waved his hands in front of him, shaking his head. At his side, Shinsou smirked. "Oh really? The entire pie? Do it. Let me see it."

Todoroki tilted his head and then shrugged. "Okay."

Izuku shook his head, signing the word 'no' over and over again, but Todoroki was already headed toward the cafeteria.

Shinsou walked next to Izuku as they followed him and Iida to the cafeteria. Izuku dropped his hands with a dejected sigh.

"Buck up, Midoriya. This is going to be fun." Shinsou chuckled.

Izuku shook his head, but he smiled.

They reached the cafeteria and Izuku got his own food before sitting down next to Shinsou, across from Todoroki whom he was watching worriedly. The other boy had already begun eating the pie, halfway through the first slice.

Shinsou was munching on a bag of chips as he stared at him with interest.

Iida was lecturing Todoroki about eating too much at once, especially sweets, but Todoroki didn't even slow down, moving onto the second piece.

And Izuku was beginning to laugh.

He didn't really know why, but there were tears in the corner of his eyes and his shoulders were shaking. Todoroki glanced at him, the corner of his mouth lifting before he shoved a huge bite into his mouth, chewing robotically.

"It's very good, Midoriya."

If Izuku had a voice, he would have shrieked with laughter. Instead, he leaned forward, arms around his ribs, little gasps of breaths escaping him.

Todoroki grabbed a third piece, more of his class catching on to what was going on and scooting in to watch.

Izuku had thought that he couldn't be a hero. That he didn't deserve it or that he'd be unable to. But with friends like these...

How could he possibly give up?

It wasn't just about him. It never had been, really.

Izuku could do it. He would do it. There were bound to be more issues coming his way, but he could handle them. With his friends at his sides, he felt like he could take on anything.

Lunch ended with Todoroki over halfway finished with the pie and groaning in his seat, hand over his stomach and grimacing as he tried to shove more into his mouth.

"Man, you've got dedication, but I think that's enough." Shinsou laughed, pushing Todoroki's hand with the fork in it back down.

Todoroki grumbled but relented.

Later that day they had hero training and Todoroki ended up losing everything he'd eaten all over a training mat and then sitting out the rest of the day.

Shinsou thought it was hilarious.

The day ended, and as he'd taken to doing, Shinsou walked Izuku home.

And Izuku, still in a good mood from his nice day at school (which he never thought would happen), gently grabbed onto Shinsou's index finger with his own.

The purple haired boy tensed before relaxing, continuing to stare straight ahead, but tightening his hold so that they were holding each other's index fingers.

Izuku tucked his chin down, smiling.

He knew, in the end, everything would be okay.