After the emotional welcome party Lilith needed a very long hot shower. The demon realm had many things, but showers were not one of them. And how she missed the feeling of water running down her skin. But now, as she stood in front of the mirror, once again looking at that still existent sigil decorating her face, her mind wandered back to her last moment in hell. There was this woman. She had wanted to help her, get her back to this world with her. And where was she now? Whatever Bee did, it didn't work because Lilith was here, alone.
She remembered her face, those black eyes, the pleading stare as she talked about her sister. But who was her sister? Lilith had to find her, or at least find a way to get Bee out of that shit hole of a realm. She had to tell the others, but would they approve? They didn't know her. Hell, Lilith herself didn't really know that other woman. But She could feel her distress. She just knew that she had to do everything she could to help her.
Her gaze wandered down towards her hand, and where there was a symbol before, she now found nothing. "Damn it. What am I supposed to do?"
"Ehm... are you talking to yourself in there?" Wolf hearing, of course she couldn't talk to herself and expect nobody to hear it. "Is there something you want?" She said, opening the door and staring at a perplex Randall. Apparently the tone of her voice wasn't exactly friendly. But then again, did they know her any other way?
"What happened down there. Or over there. Or wherever this demon realm is. Well, you know what I mean. How are you?" It was kind of cute how he cared for her. Cute in a 'little brother' kind of way. Although suddenly Memories of a certain Conversation and a kiss came back to her mind. Little brother, sure, no way. Quickly she banished those memories, fixing her eyes on him. "I'm ok now. Actually a lot has happened and... Randall, how did you get me back here. Do you think we can do that spell again?"
As soon as she asked that question he looked at her like she was crazy? Was she thinking about going back? Why the hell would she want to re-open a connection to that horrible place? "No, Lilith. We can not do it again. Why would we?"
Of course he didn't seem happy about it. She didn't know what else she would have expected. But she had to at least try. After all, the face of that woman still haunted her mind. "There is someone down there. I promised I would help her. She should have come here with me when you pulled me out of there but something must have gone wrong." Suddenly she looked so small, her gaze fixed on the ground. And Randall felt the need to pull her into his arms. "Lil, we could bring you back because of our connection. If there was someone else trying to escape that realm, someone with a connection to her would be needed."
And that was how Lilith got the idea. "Well then we just have to find Ginger." new hope arose within her, as she lifted her head, looking him directly in the eye. "Who the fuck is Ginger." He was visibly getting more confused the longer this conversation took place. "She's her sister. If we can find this Ginger person, than I am sure we can get Bee out of that place. We have to help her, Randall, please." He was still looking anything but excited. He dreaded what could happen if they dared to open another portal to the demon realm. Actually they already messed enough with the demons for his taste. He could do without another encounter with them.
"You know what, Lilith, It was quite a day. How about you get some rest and we talk about this tomorrow, with the others?" He was worried about her. She knew he was but if there was one thing Lilith hated, it was being patronized. She didn't want anybodies pity. She just wanted to help Bee and then for things to get back to normal.
"You know, there are actually quite a lot of things that we will have to talk about tomorrow, so make sure to really get some rest. Please Lilith, we are just all so happy to finally have you back. Let us have this happy moment before we rush into something head on again." And for this moment, he actually didn't seem like an idiot. No, whatever had happened in that time she was gone, it really seemed to have changed him. Or maybe it was just a 'Moment'-thing and he would go back to being an idiot the moment the next day started.
But whatever. The exhaustion was really kicking in and she was looking forward to being reunited with her bed. Oh how she longed for her bed, in her room, in her den, with her pack. This was the best day of her life for sure. A family reunion.
How long had she been sitting here? When had she sat down in the first place? From the moment she had arrived at the graveyard everything was blurry. All the pain, the fear, the despair and the self hate. It all was seeping back into her mind, infecting her whole body. "I'm sorry." How many times had she whispered those words already? "I'm so sorry" Tears were streaming down her face once again, for the umpteenth time since she got here. Had the tears even ever stopped to begin with?
Pictures were now streaming into her head. Pictures of her baby girl, her final moments, her own helplessness. Another sob escaped her, as she gave herself completely to those memories. For years she had shoved them down so deep because not thinking about it, even pretending it never really happened hurt less. And working constantly nonstop, overtime at the office or in the temple and then even working some more at home, until she would fall asleep due to exhaustion. It was her way of running away. She had been running away from her pain for so long, until recently.
The thing with Prometheus, the emotional amplifier, and her mind attack on them. Intentionally digging everything up again, forcing herself to remember, it nearly broke her. 'How do you bear this.' His words echoed in her head. 'I bear it because I have lived through it.' And it was true. She could handle it because she had been through it. But combined with the amplifier it took a real big piece of her. That day she cried, more than ever before. It was only due to her magic that she managed to look human the next day. Magic to smooth her appearance and a potion to numb her feelings down a little.
"I should have come here sooner, but I just... I couldn't. I am so sorry." And now she was being a mess again, not able to do anything about it. At this point she wasn't even sure anymore, wether she would be able to drive back to the campus, back home. One memory led to another and suddenly her stomach started turning. She felt sick. Sad, hurt, completely broken and sick of herself. But no matter how much her stomach was cramping right now, she didn't throw up. In fact, she hadn't had eaten that much today, despite her promise to Hamish.
"Here." A voice suddenly said next to her. "This always helps me." Vera managed to look up a little, to see a hand holding a piece of cloth towards her. It smelled fresh, minty to be exact. She managed to get out a quiet "Thanks" as she grabbed the cloth and held it under her nose. It really did seem to help a little and after her body started relaxing again, she finally managed to look up.
The woman who gave her the cloth was still standing there, watching her carefully. "Your daughter?" She asked and Vera wasn't sure how to respond, so she just nodded. Usually she would never allow a stranger to see her like this, so broken and helpless, but right now she didn't seem to care. Right now she just wanted to delve into the pain, swim in it for just this day, allow herself to really feel the weight of it, before she would have to put it back in a closet tomorrow when she would return to work.
"I'm sorry for your loss." The other woman said, seemingly affected, as she knelt down next to Vera. There was something familiar about this stranger. Was it her eyes? Or maybe her smell? She did smell like something Vera knew, only she couldn't put a name to it. "It never really gets easier, does it?"
"No, it doesn't. It only gets worse, the more time passes." After that being said the two women just sat there in silence, starring at the small gravestone, until Vera looked up again to really take that stranger in. She had red hair and wore some quite simple, yet nice clothes. Clothes that looked somewhat familiar. No, not just familiar. Vera was sure that she herself owned that exact blouse the other woman was wearing. "Who are you here to visit?" Her words were still weak and she had to really push herself for her voice not to sound shaky.
"Oh, I'm here for my sister actually." She could see the pain in the other womans eyes, while mentioning her sister. Vera was an only child, so she couldn't imagine what it must felt like to lose a sibling. Well, she did know about loss though."Well, I'm sorry for your loss too." With that being said she held the cloth piece towards the stranger. "It's ok. I have a feeling that nothing can really keep me and my sister apart." And finally, mentioning towards the item in Vera's hand she added: "You can keep it. You look like you'll need it a little longer."
Never would she have imagined to let herself be comforted by a stranger. But then again, somehow she felt connected to her in a way, that only people on the graveyard were. Everybody came here to grieve over a loss comparable to her own. Nobody here cared about titles, jobs, lifestyle, anything like that. This place was simply for grieving and connecting to the dead. And that naturally brought a certain understanding for the others' pain.
"Thank you." She managed to get out, just before a new sob tore through her. "I think I have been here long enough though. I really should go home." The other woman simply nodded and let Vera get up and leave. It was heartbreaking in a way to see her hurt like that. "Oh Ginger..." She whispered, after Vera was far enough away. "I really did not expect that." She kept watching the leaving woman, until she was out of sight. Then she turned towards the grave once more, before leaving herself.