Episode 13: Tegridy in Space
(Play Papa's Got a Brand New Bag by James Brown for this section.)
Randy wakes up yawning and begins to brush his teeth in the bathroom. He then puts on his farmers outfit and his now accompanied by Towelie.
Randy: Good morning, Towelie.
Towelie: Hey, Randy.
Randy: Ready to give everyone in the Space Tree a taste of Tegridy?
Towelie: Yes we are.
Randy: Okay. Time to head to the gardening room and make some Tegridy!
They entered the gardening room and throughout the rest of the song, it showed a montage of them growing a bunch of Tegridy weed.
Towelie: You think Colonel Rawls will find out?
Randy: Nah. He's busy in his office 24/7.
Towelie: Good point.
The Tegridy weed garden is made and they put it all in the jars.
Randy: Perfect.
(Play For the Love of Money by The O'Jays for this section.)
Randy: Time to get Tegridy Farms back in action here in space.
Towelie: Hell yeah!
Throughout the song, they sold Tegridy Weed to everyone in the Space Tree. They gave it to the Jamaicans, Australians, and all the other domers. They are racking up space money. The duo continued to sell their weed until...
Colonel Rawls: Ahem!
Randy: Oh shit.
Later in Rawls' office.
Colonel Rawls: Who the hell gave you the right to sell marijuana in my space station?!
Randy: I was just giving everybody in space a taste of Tegridy.
Colonel Rawls: I don't care! No selling weed on my space station! And if I catch you doing it again, you will drop and give me 500! Now get out of my office!
They exited the office.
Towelie: Damn it. Now what?!
Randy: It's time we take Tegridy to the other parts of space.
Later, they enter the ship.
Randy: Time to do this.
The Coon enters.
The Coon: Mind if I come? It's kinda boring in here with no missions.
Towelie: Okay. Sure.
Gwen: I want to come along. I want to get away from Stinkinbottom.
Randy: Who's that?
Gwen: Bessie!
Towelie: That Girl Scout with the glasses?
Gwen: Yeah.
Randy: Okay. Let's go.
(Play Moneytalks by AC/DC for this section.)
They all entered the ship and it flies out of the Space Tree and it sets its course to its location.
The Coon: Where are we going?
Randy: Somewhere people in space can enjoy Tegridy weed.
Gwen: Wait. You're gonna sell weed in space?!
Towelie: Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. There are no laws in space, so yeah.
Gwen: That's kind of a bad idea.
Randy: That's only a bad idea because you didn't think of it! Now let's keep flying.
At the 0:55 mark, they fly through the asteroid field and then continued setting their course to their location.
Back at the Space Tree...
Rawls is walking around checking on everyone.
Colonel Rawls: Seems to me that everything is in order.
Sharon: Colonel, have you seen my husband?
Colonel Rawls: Yeah. He was in my office. I had to scold him for selling weed in my space station!
Sharon: Of course... Well, I don't see him anywhere.
Colonel Rawls: Knowing him, he might sell his weed to people in the galaxy.
Sharon: Goddamn it. Bad enough he did it on Earth, now he's gonna do it in space!
Colonel Rawls: Yeah. I don't allow marijuana in my station!
(Play Moonage Daydream by David Bowie for this section.)
Randy is still flying the ship and then he then sees a big ship.
Randy: Guys, I see a big ship.
Towelie: Let me see!
They all noticed the big ship.
Randy: Let's go inside it.
At the 0:31 mark, they entered the big ship and then got off of it.
Towelie: Let's go.
(Play Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater Revival for this section.)
A bunch of bird people from the Space Mom chapter are fighting and punching each other and laughing while drinking a bunch of beer.
Bird Person: (Drunk) Then I said, "You should put a space cork in it!"
They all laugh hard. Randy, Towelie, Coon and Gwen approach them.
The Coon: I don't like the looks of these guys.
Towelie: Shut the fuck up or we will get in trouble!
Randy: Okay. Here goes. Hey Everyone! (Song abruptly ends and the bird people stare at them.) I brought you all something you will like. Would you like some of my Tegridy weed?
Their leader approaches them.
Taserface: So... you must be Randy Marsh, the galaxy's greatest weed farmer. My name is Taserface, the leader of the bird people.
The Coon snickers at his name, but Gwen covered his mouth.
Gwen: (Whispers) Dude, shut the fuck up!
Randy: Don't mind them. Would you like to buy some of my Tegridy weed?
The bird people were silent and then laughed seconds later.
Taserface: Nice try, but we don't take stuff from humans! My people, lock them up!
They all cheered and tied up Randy, Towelie and the Coon and put Gwen in a cage.
Gwen: What the hell?!
Taserface: And now, time for everybody to know the name of the leader of the birds, Taserface!
They all cheered hard, but they were interrupted by The Coon laughing hard.
The Coon: I'm sorry, but your name is Taserface?
Taserface: That's right.
The Coon: Do you shoot tasers out of your face?
Taserface: It's metaphorical!
They all cheered again.
The Coon: For what?
Taserface: It is a name that strikes fear into the hearts of anyone who hears it!
They quietly cheered with confusion.
The Coon: Okay. Whatever you say.
Taserface: Shut the hell up. You're next. Randy, your weed is nothing but a... (He heard The Coon quietly laughing and faced him again.) What?!
The Coon: I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I just keep imagining you waking up in the morning looking in the mirror acting all serious to yourself (Mimics Taserface) "You know what would be a really kick-ass name? Taserface!" (He laughs hard and some bird people started giggling while Taserface was angry.) That's how I hear it in my head! What was your second choice? Scrotum Hat?!
The Bird People, Randy, Towelie and Gwen bursted out laughing hard at what the Coon said, and he was laughing as well. All the laughing stops when Taserface held a knife at The Coon's neck.
Taserface: New plan: We're killing you first!
The Coon: Well, dying is certainly better than having to live an entire life as a moronic shitbag who thinks Taserface is a cool name.
Taserface was angry and they are later put in cages.
Taserface: Have fun as we toss you into the outer limits of space!
He laughs evilly and they left.
Towelie: Now what are we gonna do?
Randy: Well, we have to get really really high so we can make it out alive.
Towelie: Well, we can't give those two the weed. They're kids!
Randy: I know. It's only gonna us two who will get high.
The Coon: I can just use my claws to break out. (He used them to pick the lock.) Trust me. It's gonna work.
Gwen: I hope so.
The Coon unlocks the cage door and they were out. Gwen grabs a laser gun and Randy and Towelie got high from the weed.
Randy: Let's get those sons of bitches.
(Play Burning Love by Elvis Presley for this section.)
The bird people were walking around. They heard noises and then went to where they came from. They then were shot by Gwen's laser gun. And then, Randy and Towelie, who were high, attacked the bird people by shooting at them with laser guns. The Coon clawed the bird people and they all scream. At the 0:34 mark, Randy and Towelie, who are still high, walked in slow motion with laser guns in their hands and they shot at more bird people. Throughout the song, Randy and Towelie shot at the bird people while high, Gwen shot at the bird people normally and the Coon clawed at them. The bird people continued to fall one by one and the four laugh at their success, they approach their ship and then the song ends with Randy shooting a laser and then the laser it's the self destruct button and it begins to explode. They all flew out of the ship, and all the bird people were killed in the explosion.)
(Play Ready or Not Here I Come [Can't Hide from Love] by The Delfonics for this section.)
The song plays on the ship as Randy is flying them back to the space tree.
Randy: That was crazy.
The Coon: Yeah.
Towelie: So what now?
Randy: Well, Rawls said we cannot sell weed in the Space Tree. He didn't say we can't sell it outside the Space Tree.
Towelie: Oh yeah. I think I have an idea!
The next day... Randy and Towelie are in a ship selling weed to people outside the Space Tree.
Randy: Come and get your Tegridy Weed Space Edition! The finest weed in the galaxy!
Everyone starts to line up while Sharon watches it from inside the Space Tree.
Sharon: You have got to be kidding me.
Colonel Rawls: Well, as long as he's not selling it in here, I'm happy.
He leaves while sipping his coffee.
Stay tuned for episode 14.