Chapter 17: Breaking Free: Part One
The floor seemed wonderfully
solid. IT was comforting to know
I had fallen and could fall no
father.
-Sylvia Plath
Kurama isn't there as I sit within an infinite stretch of darkness. I know this: I cannot feel my heart. Cannot feel the breath as it fills my lungs. But I can feel the pain.
Blood doesn't stain the floor as a whip lashes into my back. Water doesn't spill from my mouth as I drown. Tears don't fall when I cry–
I can feel the pain.
I'm a passenger to my own body: plagued by a teasing play of what happens on the outside via torture. Blind.
I feel as anguish rips through nerves out of my control and silently I wonder—
When will someone come?
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.
.
Time passes and I'm given an answer: never. In hindsight, perhaps I should have chosen a different key to free myself.
I scream, curse and plead for salvation that doesn't come. Half-crazed attempts of destroying myself bring no results. I'm trapped with no way of escape.
So, I grit my teeth and hang on to whatever sanity is left. Conjuring up fantasies about what I will do when I get out.
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.
.
There is no end in sight. It's been months (one-hundred-eighty-six days, to be exact) with not even a whisper as to what goes on beyond my personal hell.
Unsurprisingly, I'm not alone anymore. Team twelve joins in my misery and I choke on the stench of decomposition as they hang up by rope behind me. Kai is as he was when I last saw him: flesh and muscle melting off bone. Maggots wriggling in open, decayed wounds.
"Were our deaths worth it?" He mocks, jaw unhinged. It sways like the hands of a ticking clock.
I have no answer.
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Shisui joins soon after. Empty, bleeding sockets full of sorrow. He watches as I curl into a ball and scream as the bones in my hands break with wet, agonizing, cracks.
He doesn't speak and it reverberates in the darkness.
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.
.
A forgotten chest unlocks and a faceless little girl appears next. Hair like moonlight pools around her small frame, standing out in stark contrast to the void I've made my home. She comes when Sadao forces himself on my body.
I tremble in affronted rage as phantom hands grab unkindly at my flesh. It brands deeper than the scars already littering my skin ever could.
The Girl's voice is gravely yet angelic when she innocently whispers in my ear: "What would you be willing to give in exchange for freedom?"
A funny question.
I long ago descended into the abyss. For years I feared looking into its depths. Keeping my eyes closed and ignorant of the truth. But I know now. It wasn't as vast as one would assume at first glance.
'It looks back in you?' Idiots. The only thing that stares back is you.
I am the abyss. And here, madness reigns.
My answer comes immediately and without infliction: "Everything."
Teeth like senbon peek between a sinister grin. Her ruby lips move and though I can't make out what she says it doesn't matter—my heart beats.
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.
.
The Girl tells many stories as she keeps me company. Her voice pierces the silence as she spins tales of a land long forgotten in time. Some glimmering with hope only to trickle into horror. I wonder if Akira, the real Akira, felt the same when I had told her similar tales.
Because in the end, there were no heroes. No knight in shining armor atop a white steed rushing to save the damsel in distress. There was only suffering with bits of light creeping in through the cracks . . .
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.
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"A daughter was born the third youngest triplet of a Goddess one snowy night. Unlike her siblings who radiated strength and power, she grew lacking: feeble and sickly. Her heart, the doctors would later say, was frail. They informed her mother she wouldn't live long enough to reach adulthood.
Disgusted by the child's weakness, the Goddess hid the scourge on her bloodline away from the world. In a tower she stayed with three maids that glared at her with resentment and disdain.
Often they would torment the child. Playing little tricks and openly mocking her. Alas, thinking herself benevolent, the daughter forgave time and time again.
The daughter's misery lightened whenever her brothers would visit, bestowing her gifts of silk and luxury. But as time went on their visits became few and far between. Once adoring smiles became flat and forced between the glares they shared.
Still, she forgave.
Then came the morning of her 10th year. The animosity of the daughter's beloved maids reached its peak. They gifted her with the first confection she'd ever received.
Unknown to the joyous child they had carefully placed shards of glass within.
Coughing up blood the young daughter cried as fire burned in her throat and chest. "Why?" she wept, pleading to understand.
"Because," they replied, "The mighty Goddess has no place for a demon with no heart by her side."
The forgiveness in her aching heart dried into an endless desert.
Surprisingly her brothers had made time to visit that very night, but by the time they arrived it was too late. What they walked into was their sister sitting among three bodies with holes in their chests.
The child smiled serenely amongst their horror. Her face was flush with health, hair gleaming under the moon's rays.
"Yaku what happened?" asked her saintly brother in alarm.
The girl smiled sweetly with blood stained teeth. "Worry not, Onii-san's, for it is a joyous day indeed. They say a demon has no heart, but I now have three.""
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. . . There's no lack of monsters, though.
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It feels like sunrise when a trinkling of disgust sinks into bones drenched in forged devotion. I can't help but cackle at the irony, spinning around in dizzying circles.
Because, even brainwashed into adoration I still manage to fall fully into resentment's cruel embrace.
I add fuel to the fire from within, tending to it like a man lost in the wilderness. Overcome by desperation dressed up pretty to resemble survival.
There's nothing else to do but wait. And wait. And wait. And wait-
Because when I'm finally free, I will uproot Danzo's Foundation and won't rest until he, Sadao and the others lay lifeless at my feet.
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.
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When I happen across the scent of bergamot and dogs I just know.
Call it what you want. Coincidence, destiny, or fate—one graced me with its presence and I took it. Even if it meant beating it out of him, freedom would be mine.
With one last heave to expel the sludge, Akira took her first breath in years. And with it-
"AAAHHHHHHHHHH-" She screamed to the heavens. A wail befitting a banshee heralding death to come.
The breeze stung like a trillion bees trapped within her flesh. After an eternity of darkness even the gentle rays of the full moon sent an ache through sensitive optic nerves
She violently ripped the ruined mask from her face and dug her fingers into the tender skin of her neck and clawed helplessly. It hurts, it hurts-
The lack of emotion her body had been forced into shattered as she experienced two years in a matter of seconds. It passed by so fast Akira barely had time to even comprehend the horror of it all.
Just when she was on the verge of passing out, a blaze of demonic chakra burst from within like a backed up pipe. Fabric eroded away, exposing sizzling and smoking flesh—much like cooking meat—but it didn't hurt.
Overstimulation ebbed away as chakra pumped through muscle and bone, soothing and repairing. Parts of her brain must have been fucked from how much of the chakra fought its way into her skull. It went to work in order to fix the damage, settling in her straining vocal cords—healing just as quickly as it deteriorated.
"Dove!"
Akira shook at the name, screams transforming into silent, open-mouthed sobs. Misty eyes beseeched the moon, sclera as dark as the night sky. Her chest heaved with beautiful oxygen as she took in the illuminated shine of the stars for the first time in years.
The cosmos peered back, winking in mystic codes far beyond her knowledge.
'I'm free,' she thought to the watchful moon and stars, hand reached into the empty air—so close yet so far.
The universe shook in its displeasure.
'Don't look at me like that. It wasn't my fault!'
But the thing about the universe that refused to welcome her was how unyielding it could be in its indifference. It mattered not the hardships she was forced to bear—the world already ruled her guilty.
(But what did condemnation matter when she already experienced a hell of her own design?)
A tell-tale click reached cotton-filled ears as Boar spoke through his headset, "Dove is lost. Prepare reconditioning—what? Are you sure…Understood."
The one-sided conversation came to an abrupt halt. Her senses picked up malicious movement moving in, the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. With a mind of its own her already outstretched hand shifted just in time to catch the descending blade of Boars sword as it arched for her neck.
She felt as the blade sliced into her palm. Her eyes fluttered, transfixed as blood ran down her forearm, leaving a blooming warmth behind. Pleasant shivers ran up her spine. To feel her own pain… How trivial.
Boar fought to pull the sword from her grip but she didn't budge. She belatedly turned to meet the brown eyes behind his mask. Memories trickled in of the various times Master—no, Sadao—instructed her to play with Boar as he watched.
The way her superior took in order to please Sadao's twisted fantasies.
Akira clenched her hand until the sword shattered between her fingers, a sneer forming on her lips, darkening her already solemn expression.
Boar jumped back to a safe distance, hands going off in a flurry of orders to the other two—she could hear his heartbeat thundering in his chest like a drum. Could smell the pungent fear overwhelming his natural scent.
Her eyes followed his orders passively. Immediate, neutralize, two.
She really should have felt some sort of anger from how disposable she was. But... Honestly, she just didn't care. The world could end at that moment but she wouldn't mind so long as Boar no longer breathed.
Akira's attention was momentarily brought to Kakashi as his white chakra flashed in a foreign code from beneath her. Her head cocked to the side as she turned to meet his eyes. She blinked.
…She'd kind of forgotten he was there.
Her old teammates ran around them like hunting sharks, waiting for the right moment to strike. Even if this were a genjutsu she refused to allow such lowly creatures to take her life.
Akira gathered all of her overflowing grief and sorrow, honed it into a weapon and, just like in Uni, lit the match.
Euphoric power ran up her spine all the way to her fingertips as she took control for the first time in years. Akira grabbed onto Kakashi's flak jacket as her old teammates finally descended on them to keep him still.
Since he had involuntarily set her free, she would make sure he was safe amidst her murderous wrath.
His expression was hard to read as demonic chakra ruptured throughout a fixed area like a burst pipe. Far out as they were in the abandoned area of the Uchiha Clan, it wouldn't reach the general populace.
You forgot me, it said.
Two thick red chains burst from the base of her spine, catching Reo and Yui in its spiky grasp before tearing them apart. Gore splattered everywhere, painting their surroundings with limbs and guts. Kakashi reached up and got sliced.
But you won't ever again.
Half of the job done, Akira slowly rose to her feet, sure to maintain contact with Kakashi's wide, dismayed eyes. She stood above him covered in blood like a fallen angel as he clutched his injured hand to his chest.
Stepping over him she stalked slowly toward Boars. He fell into a fighting stance but Akira gave him no time as she extended her chains to wrap around his throat, large spikes sinking into his flesh. He let out a shout as she slowly pulled him toward her. He fell and clawed at the ground to no avail, nails breaking and leaving behind a bloody trail.
She took a deep, shaking breath. Let it out. And stomped on his crotch as hard as she could. He hollered out in pain but she didn't stop. Over and over she brought her foot down until all that remained resembled fresh ground beef.
It was cathartic. Healing, even. Her heart beat fast and hard with glee, as if it would soon escape her chest. Her surroundings were silent save for the breath that left her in sharp gasps.
Once she had finally gathered herself Akira stalked back over to Kakashi, pulling her chakra back in on her way. Her chains faded in a burst of ruby embers.
He was attempting to get up but she placed her foot over his chest to pin him back on the ground. "Now~" she purred, pressing her body weight to keep him down. He wheezed out something incomprehensible that she ignored.
She squatted down instead, elbow resting casually over her knee. She smiled dryly. He, too, was covered in blood and black vomit. A poor sight, really. How the mighty fall in the face of someone they cared for.
Akira held no daydreams that had she been someone else she'd likely be dead or dying. It was only his realization on who she was that saved her when she was in such a weakened state.
She gently wiped some blood from his cheek with a thumb, one thing on her mind. "Where… is my brother?"
Before he could speak the blade of a kunai pressed against her throat. KI leaked into the air as Might Guy spoke in an uncharacteristically hard voice, "State your affiliation."
She grimaced, a drip of annoyance leaking into her veins. She ignored him completely. There was only one thing on her scrambled mind as she leaned in further to gain Kakashi's full attention once more. His eyes flicked back and forth between her and his friend.
Akira snapped her fingers at him impatiently and hissed, "Where is he?"
Guy must have thought she was speaking to him because he interrupted once more. "Whoever you're looking for, I'm sure we can help find them."
Akira turned to the green idiot, slicing her neck in the process. Eyes glowing red she screamed with strained vocal chords, "BRING ME NARUTO!"
(My everything, my everything, mineminemine-)
There was a pinprick on her shin. Akira glanced down in shocked terror, eyelids fluttering. A thin senbon stuck out from her skin. The scent of a strong sedative filled the night air. Her heart jumped into her throat.
Stop. No-
"Wait," she objected weakly as the world tilted on its axis once more. Kakashi lurched up as she began to fall, arms tightly cradling her to his chest. It thudded at a fast pace in her ear.
Not again-
Her body twitched uselessly against the dimming of her vision. "No… please."
Kakashi's face pulled taunt in anxious worry, eyes holding hers as she finally went limp.
Don't send me back to that dark place.
Darkness wasn't what greeted her. Instead, Akira stood at the edge of a murky pond. Dead blades of grass scraped against her toes as she stared blankly at a stump of a tree residing in its center. The eerie chest beside it was bigger. Darker. Unchained.
It called to her but she couldn't move. Didn't want to move. Two years. She had been trapped in that empty space for two whole years, her only companion the ghosts that haunted her.
Even then she awaited their judgment. Yearned for it, even.
"We have to stop meeting like this." Called a voice from behind.
Akira's frozen breath hitched. Slowly she turned, half expecting the words to be in her head. But they weren't.
Kurama lay behind her just outside of an open cage, a smirk on his foxy face. "Welcome back, Midget."
Akira let out a wet, relieved chuckle as she took a step forward, away from the call of the chest. Then another. And another—until she was sprinting on crisped grass, laughing heartily.
Once close enough she threw herself onto warm, inviting fur. "Hey, Fugly." She smiled, face snuggling into his feather soft pelt.
END
A/N: Super short chapter bc writing is Hard and writing angst is Harder.
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