Author's Note

This one felt a little personal, and I was super inspired to write it. It's merely the start of something if everyone ends up liking it, but I'll probably continue writing it anyway. It'll eventually fall into a heavy romance I believe, but none of that in the first chapter, sorry.

Uploaded

09/15/2023

LEGEND BELOW

"Hello, no I won't eat you..." = Normal speech.

''That's a radical idea...'' = Normal thoughts.

Chapter 1

Rated-M

M rating for mature themes, mentions of suicide and depression, anxiety, romance and nudity.

Music of the day

Octopath Traveler - The Frostlands

"Go home Nick, it's getting late and I don't want to see you any more exhausted then you already are…"

The statement seemed to go in one ear, and out the other for him, glazed over eyes staring at the wall behind his boss. He wasn't even aware that he'd been spoken too until the woman in front of him began snapping her fingers in front of him.

"Yoo-hoo, anyone home?" She asked again, eyes softening into a more concerned look.

He had the decency to blush in embarrassment as he snapped back to reality, staring at the concern written face of his boss, a rather pretty older brunette woman. He sighed, the deep seated exhaustion appearing bone deep. "I'm sorry boss… I've just been…" He instinctively went to apologize, his obvious sleep deprivation having begun causing issues at his place of employment.

"Nick, please, don't apologize." She cut him off before he could finish, if he was awake enough to even do that. "No one can blame you for your lack of sleep, and I don't plan on doing it either. But you need to get some rest, working yourself to the bone won't change anything…" She said gently, her years as a mom of three giving her more then a little bit of experience as a mother figure. Being the manager of the company as she was, having those instincts certainly helped her determine when something was wrong with those under her employ.

And the man in front of her was clearly suffering greatly, the deep black bags that hung underneath his eyes said enough, as did the slouching of his shoulders.

"I'm fine boss, honestly." He tried, but the long yawn that followed his statement gave way to his lie.

She merely raised an eyebrow in question, knowing damn well that he was anything but fine. He sank into his seat, the comfort he found in it nearly impossible to ignore.

"Nick… I know you miss her, I know where you're coming from…" She started after a long moment, pulling him from his derailing train of thought. "There's not a day that goes by where I don't miss him, but you have to learn to live without them… If not for yourself, then for her. I don't think she wished for you to spend the rest of your days moping about her…" She said quietly in that knowing tone that made him feel like he was being scolded by a loving parent who only wanted the best for her children.

And…

He knew deep down in his heart…

That she was right.

The last thing she'd told him was not to spend the rest of his life fretting over her...

However, he knew that was easier said then done, and he wasn't sure he could live up to that promise anymore.

"Look, I want you to take a couple days off, pick yourself up." She started suddenly, holding out a finger to silence him when she saw him move to speak against the idea. "I'll get someone to cover your shift while you are gone. I think that a couple days off will help you clear your head." She said assertively, leaving no room for negotiation.

"Who's going to cover me while I'm gone? I've got a newbie on, she's too new to be-" He tried to negotiate his stay on the job, but she wasn't having any of it.

"I'll have Jake cover your store, he's great with the rookies, you know this." She cut him off, the stern look she held telling him that he'd lost the fight. "Now go home, I'll sort out the paperwork. I don't want to see you again until next Monday, understood Nick?" She ordered, raising an eyebrow to see if there was going to be any more issues.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his head nervously, tugging anxiously at his long and unnaturally white locks of hair.

An unusual birth defect had left him with hair as white as snow, and similarly vibrant unnaturally red eyes. The odd physical appearance coupled with his way of weaseling himself out of any situation he didn't particularly like had earned him the moniker Sly little Snow Fox. His ever so slightly pointed ears did nothing to help his cause, and he found the nickname sticking no matter how much he whined about it.

But, back to the matter at hand. Truth be told, he actually liked the idea of having a few days off to recuperate. He desperately needed some time away to himself, and he wasn't going to get it running a store like he was now.

But at the same time, he was horrified of it. Because the truth was, he was afraid of being left to his own devices for too long.

She was always the one that was there to stabilize him, keep him grounded in this reality.

But she was gone now, and he felt more alone and forgotten now than he'd ever felt before. The feeling was haunting, and the home he'd once longed for at the end of every night had become a place he dreaded returning to at any cost.

Because all it stood to serve, was reminding him of what was lost.

"Go home, Nick…" She gently urged once again, pulling him from his less than bright thoughts.

He sighed, finally standing from his desk.

"Maybe you're right…" He muttered quietly, tone despondent. He grabbed his keys from the desk, slipping his phone into his white coat pocket too.

He missed the way her eyes softened at his tone, the worry of a wisened mother apparent in her gaze. She watched him slowly gather his things, the spark of life so faint in his movements that it truly did scare her.

Before he could slip out past the door to the world beyond, she felt compelled to say something, anything, before he left her. "Hey… Nick?" She called out, catching him just as the door had begun to close on him. He stopped it short, casting a dull red eye her way. Thinking quickly, she threw out the first thought that came her way. "Maybe, in your downtime, you could try and make some new friends? I know having more people to talk to couldn't hurt…" She added with a light smile. "Maybe you could try one of those chatting apps? Meet a new face, even simply just to talk…?"

He didn't say anything in response, but his eyes turned upwards as if he was actually considering her words and not just letting them pass overhead.

She said that, not because she didn't believe the young man a quiet loner, although he was in many ways just that. But she said it, because the look she saw in his eyes scared her to her soul.

The more people that he surrounded himself with, the better.

It would at the very least get his mind focused on other things.

"Goodnight, boss…" He finally said, tone quiet as he stepped away, allowing the door to slip shut behind him.

She watched him leave with a sad smile.

"Goodnight, Nick…" She muttered, but she knew he couldn't hear her…

The midnight air was freezing on his bare skin, but he couldn't bother bringing himself to care. Winter was in its mid stage now, covering the region in a healthy color of white.

He stepped out from the storefront, the sliding glass doors closing behind him. The parking lot was empty now, save for the few vehicles parked a small distance away, his overnight employees for sure.

He glanced upwards, compelled to look at the starry night skies, finding a brief glimpse of joy in getting lost in the sea of stars. He knew that it wouldn't be long before another snow storm moved in and blocked out the skies once more, so he took a moment to relish the view.

Alas, his stargazing couldn't last forever, and he was incapable of ignoring the freezing midnight winter air any longer.

He puffed out a chilly breath, grasping at his fluffy white overcoat as he began the trek to his car.

This late into the night, there was a near absolute silence, only the local wildlife serving to break up the quiet. But even then, most creatures were fast asleep at this time of night. The quiet allowed him to get lost in thought for a moment, floating away in his mind, before he eventually found himself standing outside of his car.

With a sigh, he unlocked the door, slipping inside his red painted old Honda. It was a gift from his late grandfather, an NSX model. He wasn't particular on it, but it was the last thing he had to remember his dearest family member by, so he couldn't ever see himself parting ways with it.

He slipped into the seat, immediately turning it on to get the engine warmed up. He sat there for a little while, eyes closed as he nearly fell asleep to the hum of the engine. But as his head dinked against the window, he snapped awake and realized that his boss would probably be a little upset if he fell asleep in the middle of the parking lot.

Shaking his head to try and clear it of the warm embrace of sleep trying to pull him back, his right hand slipped to the gear shifter as he began the trek home.

The lights popped up on the hood of his car, illuminating the dark and lonely streets. In that moment, all he could think about was how warm his bed would feel once he was snuggled deeply in its blankets.

The engine rumbled as he drove off, leaving his store behind. Slowly but surely, the building became a tiny figure in the distance, before vanishing entirely.

The city seemed to blend into a blur of dark colors, streetlights guiding him along the sparsely populated road.

Flagstaff, Arizona.

That's the city he'd been born into twenty two years ago, and he'd never found a reason to leave.

But now…

Now it just felt like he'd become trapped in it, and endless loop of working until he dropped, crawling home to sleep away his weekend, and repeat the cycle over again. Everything changed when she died, and he felt like it was him sticking to a cycle that had just barely kept him together.

But that cycle had placed a strain on him, and not only had his work begun to suffer, his relationships with people had suffered too.

His hands gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, sharp teeth biting his lips as he struggled to hold back the wave of emotions that slammed into him. Tears that he'd been trying to hold back for the last month finally broke through the cracks in the damn, and once they began falling, he found it impossible to stop.

He couldn't withhold the sharp sob that burst free from his lips before he could stifle it, tears blurring his view of the dark road ahead.

His heart ached in his chest, the pain of loss slamming into him with nearly the same intensity as when he'd first lost her.

He wanted to scream, to shout to the skies above that it was unfair.

Why did she have to go?

Why did she have to die?

Why did she have to leave him alone…?

Why was he always alone in the end?

He wasn't sure when it happened, but eventually he found himself in his driveway, car idling in place for the last five minutes.

He sucked in a slow shaky breath through his nose, trembling hands reaching to turn the car off. With a sputter, the engine stopped, leaving him in an all encompassing silence once again.

Knowing that if he allowed himself to sit there any longer, he'd lose the will to make himself go inside. Nearly forgetting to grab his keys, he didn't even bother locking his car as he walked up the path to his house.

It was a nice building, a leftover from his late grandparents. It was the house he'd been raised in, and after they had passed on, it was the place he continued to call home.

He just wished that it wasn't so empty.

A fair few minutes later saw him stepping inside, thick fur coat dropped to the ground by the door, shoes haphazardly tossed to the side.

He knew he should find something to eat, but he couldn't even be bothered.

He stepped inside, wandering slowly until he found himself in his bathroom. He stared blankly at the reflection of himself in the mirror, the vibrant red of his eyes only mirrored by the barely visible red stain on the bandages that wrapped around his throat, previously hidden by his high collared shirt. The sharp features that clearly defined him as someone of Asian descent only further enhanced his odd physical appearance.

Slowly he reached up, pointed fingernails grasping the edge of the white fabric. He pulled it off, unraveling the bandages as they dropped to the floor below, revealing a deep cut on the front of his neck, one that was only hours ago still bleeding.

He sucked in a sharp shaky breath, fingers coming up to brush against the cut. A flash of red shot through his mind, the glint of a blade vivid in his memory.

He sharply pulled his hand away, dropping the bandages to the floor with a gasp. He shook his head, forcing himself to look away, instead stripping of everything as he stepped into the shower, not even waiting for the freezing water to warm.

He stood there silently, the pellets of water hitting him like tiny pinpricks, poking and prodding him.

He wasn't sure at what point he'd collapsed to the floor, back pressed tightly to the wall as he gave way to the tears he'd been holding back for so long.

And he screamed.

He screamed so much it hurt, the pain in his chest so tightly that he felt like his heart was going to explode.

His lungs felt like they were on fire as he wailed pitifully, devolving into broken shattered sobs. Collapsed on his side, clutching his chest over his heart, he felt like he'd nothing left to live for anymore.

He just wanted to die…

He didn't want to go on anymore, not without her by his side.

He knew the pain of loss was supposed to hurt, for his heart ached deeply when he lost his grandfather in death…

But this…

There was simply no describing such a pain, not in a way that anyone else would understand.

When she died, it was simply as if a part of him had gone with her.

He was sure that even time was incapable of patching the gaping hole in his heart left in her passing. And even if he found a way, he wasn't sure he could take it…

One long shower later saw him sitting on the edge of his king size bed, a brush in hand as he carefully, and slowly brushed his long white locks. The action served as a pastime of sorts, something to keep his hands busy as well as help untangle any knots that may be forming.

She'd always told him to take care of his hair, and even now, he found it impossible to ignore that request.

He felt only marginally better now, having cried most of his emotions out in the shower before crawling into bed with nothing but his boxers and an oversized tee shirt on. But now that he had, he simply felt empty, eyes glazed over as he stared blankly at the wall across the room.

After finishing brushing his hair, he dropped the brush off the side of the bed, deciding to pick it up tomorrow some time instead.

He wasn't usually this lazy, but he hadn't been himself lately, so he couldn't bring himself to care.

His mind felt like it was a haze of thoughts, swelling and swirling around in his head without any signs of stopping. Try as he might, sleep didn't come easily to him anymore.

Not after what happened.

He rolled onto his side, taking hold of the giant body pillow, clutching to himself as if to pretend, even for just a moment, that he still had someone to cuddle with. That seemed to do the trick, as he could finally feel himself drifting off.

Yet, once more sleep alluded him. In his exhaustion, a thought jumped out at him, far clearer than the others. The words of his boss suddenly appeared on his mind, something she'd mentioned about an app to talk with someone.

He'd not given it any thought then, but he couldn't help his urge to, at the very least peruse the app store for a few minutes. Perhaps that would finally knock him out…?

Blinking blearily, he pulled out his phone, swiping until he found the app store. After a while of searching through odd and creepy looking chat apps, he stumbled across something that was new.

Tired red eyes blinked in confusion at the app name that was staring back at him.

MalO Version 1.0.0

He stared unblinkingly at the odd name, trying and failing to decipher what the strange name meant.

A little bit of research later he'd learned that the app hadn't even been rated yet, nor had anyone reviewed it so far.

He knew that he probably shouldn't trust something so new, but he decided to throw caution to the wind and peek just a little further into the app description.

-Never settle for those awkward feelings of being alone ever again. MalO is an exciting and interactive experience that will keep you engaged and intrigued. The anxiety of social situations can be nerve-racking, but after just a few hours of MalO you will soon forget all about those painful emotions of disappointment. Be part of the new craze that is quickly becoming the next social substitute. Remember, the more you participate, the more MalO will engage you. Your experience is completely up to you. Absolutely NO ADS. Enjoy!-

He had to reread the description at least once to make sure he wasn't imagining the words he was reading.

He sighed, knowing that the app had to have been some sort of joke. It was a lot to promise right out the gate for a simple phone app, but he supposed that the developer really wanted to sell people on it.

And…

As embarrassing as it was, it worked on him. Even though he knew it was all fake, he decided to download the app to see what would happen.

After all, trying wouldn't hurt anyone. And he could simply delete it later if he didn't like it, problem solved.

His thumb hovered over the download button, eyes darting up and down momentarily, before he pressed the button. A thumbs up icon appeared on his screen, before a download bar popped up. He felt his eyes quickly grow heavy as he watched it slowly begin to fill.

And…

Before he knew it…

He'd fallen asleep, phone laying screen up on his bed…

It would be a few hours before anything changed, but suddenly, and without warning, he received a text message with an image attached…

The likelihood of him staying asleep for the rest of the day was pretty high, but due to his lack of foresight, he'd forgotten to close the blinds the night prior. And so, when the sun decided to rise only a few hours after he'd finally fallen asleep, the warmth and harsh glare on his face was enough to rouse him from his short but desperately needed rest.

"Uuggh…" He moaned, rolling over to try and escape the sunlight's harsh glare.

Of course, having the head of his bed by a large window sort of prevented him from escaping the light at all.

The first thought that slammed into his sleep deprived mind was the fact that he had to go to work, quickly followed by the realization that he had been ordered to take time off.

And now, realizing that he could try and get some more sleep, he grabbed the nearest pillow he could find and slapped it over his face in an attempt to block the rest of the world out.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he was content to fall back asleep until he eventually rolled out of bed and did something with his newfound spare time…

But after a few short minutes of peace, he was rudely woken up by the sound of a new notification on his phone.

Bing!

"Uuugg…" He groaned, hoping that whoever had texted him would get the message and leave him alone. His friends knew not to message him so early in the morning, and they also knew not to bother him when he was sleeping…

He realized that on any normal day he'd be awake by now, but whatever…

He closed his eyes once more, pillow placed firmly over his eyes as he tried once more to-

Bing!

His phone rung again, vibrating once as another alert came through.

Sucking in a deep slow breath, he tossed the pillow off of his face. He sat up suddenly, bleary tear filled eyes trying to clear away his bout of sleep blindness. He had to withhold the urge to block the light in his room with his hands, blinking as he glanced around to find his phone. After a short bout of failing to remember where he'd left his phone, he peered over the edge of his bed to find his smartphone on the ground by another pillow.

He frowned at his find, wondering how it had landed down there. He sighed, reaching down to grab the phone, slightly pointed fingernails scraping at his pillow.

He flopped back onto his bed, pulling up his phone as he glanced over the notifications.

His eyes narrowed as he realized that he had two text messages, both from the same number. The confusing aspect came into play when he realized that he didn't recognize the number. Eyebrow raised in mild curiosity, he swiped up on the screen to unlock it, opening up his texts.

"What the…?" He murmured lowly, staring at the screen as a level of…

Well…

He wouldn't call it discomfort…

But…

Honestly he wasn't sure how he felt.

He'd received a text with no words, but instead an image of a local ski resort. The odd thing he realized was that he recognized exactly where the picture had been taken, as it was a place he used to frequent back when he was younger.

Ever since his grandfather had passed on, he'd stopped going, the thought of the place not even crossing his mind.

But looking at the image now, he couldn't help the warmth that spread through him as the memories related to the resort came flooding back into the forefront of his mind.

The little smile that lit up his face spread to confusion when he scrolled down to the next image, another picture taken from somewhere he'd been before. It was a downtown cafe that he'd frequented with his grandfather.

He scanned the image over, finding that the memories it dredged up both hurt to remember, and were comforting at the same time.

He tried scrolling down, but the text chain ended there. He frowned, trying to recall if he'd given his number out before.

But after a moment, he realized that he hadn't.

"Oh… the app…" He murmured in realization. The app he'd downloaded last night must be responsible for the odd images.

Now it all made sense.

The app said that it would make him never feel alone again, and he supposed that it was supposed to do that by sending him images of his past where he associated with happy memories?

He supposed that it made sense, but he wasn't sure how images of his past were supposed to make him not feel alone, especially in a social setting.

If that's all the app was made to do, he felt like it only served to waste his time…

Bing!

His eyes widened as he immediately received another text, another image of a place he frequented. However, this time it was followed up by a text message.

"Hello sleepyhead."

He reread the text, blinking in confusion.

How had the sender know he was awake? Did the app make that clear?

He glanced back up to the image, this time of a park on the opposite side of town. He remembered the park as well, and a few of the people who were placed haphazardly in it.

That's when he noticed the strange oddity.

Sitting on one of the many benches that lined the park was a dark figure.

He blinked in surprise, somehow having not seen it the first time he looked at it. But now that he did see it, he couldn't un-see it.

He squinted at the image as he tried to get a better look at it. It had the shape of a rather pretty and voluptuous woman, long legs, slender build with thick legs. However, what really stood out, besides the fact that she was covered from head to toe in a dark grey fur, was the fact that her head was what appeared to be the skull of a wolf-like creature. In fact, her feet were wolf-like with paws, and her hands ended in large sharp black claws that she used to wave at him.

He found himself unable to look away from the glowing pink orbs of light hidden within the void of darkness where her eyes would've been, her boney maw pulled up into a cheshire grin, seemingly defying physics.

Of course, seeing as it was merely an image, he didn't give the oddness of the figure much thought.

And…

If he was being honest with himself…

Although she looked scary, she also looked cute in a terrifying sort of way.

Bing!

His eyes widened as another text message came through, this one of a winking emoji followed by the words, "Thank you."

He blinked blearily at the words that stared him in the face, the logical part of his brain telling him that it was extremely odd that they responded in a manner that made it seem like his mind had just been read. However, the more curious part of his mind found him intrigued by the strange phenomenon in general.

And…

His boss had been onto something, because he found chatting with someone new had temporarily put his mind on lighter things.

However, before he could formulate any thoughtful response to the stranger texting him, he got another text.

This time it was from one of his friends.

"Hey Nick! I heard that you got the day off, don't ask how, not telling lol! I'm sure you're probably either sleeping right now or debating on going back to sleep, but on the off chance I caught you while you're up, I was heading down to the cafe in a few. If you're up for it, I was hoping you could tag along?"

Tired red eyes stared at the wall of text that assaulted him, demanding his attention. He couldn't help the low sigh that slipped past his lips.

"Typical Max…" He murmured, debating if he was willing to get up and join his friend, or do exactly what said friend expected of him and fall back asleep for the rest of the day.

His bed was really cozy after all, and he had no work to-

Bing!

His eyes narrowed as the strange number sent him an image of the cafe downtown again, as if demanding that he go and do something that didn't revolve around sleeping in all day like a lazy fox.

"Fine…" He sighed quietly, slipping out of bed. His brain was working on a few hours of sleep, otherwise he'd probably be a little more freaked out by the mysterious texts and images.

But, as with many things lately, he couldn't bring himself to care enough to worry.

If someone was stalking him to harm him, they probably wouldn't do something this strange before they hurt him, so he assumed he had nothing to worry about. He was sure that he'd seen stranger apps before, the odd text and image wasn't all that out of the ordinary...

The ringing of a quaint antique bell jingling above his head alerted the small restaurant to his presence, the freezing winter breeze blowing in behind him as he stepped inside. He reached up, pulling down the hood of his thick coat, letting the furry fabric rest on his shoulders.

"Nicky!! There you are!" A bright and bubbly voice practically squealed out, a blond waving over enthusiastically at him from across the entire cafe, pulling literally everyone's attention.

He felt his carefully controlled expression falter at the energy radiating off of the other half of the room.

Behind the bubbly exuberant blond girl was the man that had texted him only fifteen minutes prior, laughing nervously behind his easily excited friend, his short spiked red hair practically sparkling in the early morning sunlight.

Nick couldn't help but notice the two girls that were sitting across from the man named Max, smiling bashfully over at him.

He debated on the consequences of simply turning around and leaving before he found himself caught up into something he both didn't care for, and couldn't be bothered to figure out where it would lead.

He dwelled on the thought for about two seconds, before he relented.

He was quiet and reserved, not rude and impolite.

He couldn't just up and leave Max after promising to meet him, even though the man was clearly roping him into one of his stupid little games.

That and, if he left now, he'd make the blond cry…

He sighed, shoulders slacking as he resigned himself to his fate.

Still waving at him, the busty blond woman he still struggled to understand why he called friend, called out to him as he slowly approached. "Nicky! Oh, I'm so glad to see you out of bed! I've been so worried!" The woman cooed as she met him halfway, tears threatening to fall from her eyes as she practically yanked him into her embrace, arms wrapped tightly around him.

He froze for a moment, before a light smile formed over his face as he gave himself up to his friend's strange antics.

Max pretended not to notice, but he wasn't blind to his friend's discomfort at the seemingly intimate physical contact, even with a well known friend.

"H-Hey Britney… Sorry I haven't returned your calls…" He murmured, voice muffled against her shoulder. "I hope you weren't too worried…" He said quietly.

He wasn't prepared for her to pull back suddenly, holding him in place by his shoulders as she studied him like a mother hen would her chicks.

She wanted to scoff.

"Not too worried? You haven't spoken to me in weeks, Nicky!" She pleaded, eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "I was so worried…" She said, having gone surprisingly quiet.

He smiled nervously, a bit taken aback by her overly caring demeanor. But he knew this was typical of her, and he truly had been ignoring people in his life lately.

He supposed that he was simply glad he'd not scared them off just yet…

"I'm sorry Britney. It won't happen again." He muttered quietly, offering the tall blond a small smile that she knew was fake, before immediately changing the subject from his life crisis to whatever it was Max across the way had been planing. "Come on, I promised Max I'd join him for breakfast…" He said, pulling away from her as he casually made his way over to the table his friend was currently sitting at, letting the red haired man strike up a conversation with him.

Britney watched him go, hurt by his refusal to care for himself and constantly trying to please others.

She felt a cold weight settling in her heart when she'd hugged him, for he felt significantly lighter than he did a month ago. And those once vibrant red eyes of his that had even made her own heart skip a beat once lacked any sort of life anymore, dull and empty, only putting on a charade for others.

She had to withhold the urge to tell him to take care of himself better, because, in all fairness, she had no idea what it was like to lose a loved one…

Especially not when it had been his wife…

She knew right now, all she could provide him was a shoulder to cry on, and an ear that was willing to listen if he ever came around and opened up.

But he'd need to be the person to do that, because she knew she didn't have what it took to move him.

She found herself hoping, preying even that something would come along and help him out…

Suddenly her attention was drawn to the table as Nick's phone buzzed, a new text message lighting up the screen…

Bing!

Chapter

1

End