Hello everyone! Here's my newest story for Epilepsy awareness… and I'm writing it for a few reasons. I'll put why in the author's note at the bottom.

It's told from Henry's point of view. (The Henry that's with Violet)

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of Epilepsy medicines, their side effects and seizures. It also mentions someone having passed away from it.

As it turned out, when you moved away from "home." And into a smaller house. You had about a hundred big boxes of random things that needed going through.

But, now I and Violet- along with our eleven-month-old son Frey and our two-year-old Dalmatian Patch had moved to our own house. And it wasn't like the house had even room to put all boxes…

It was one of all of those boxes that just held something that I had since long forgotten. When I tipped the whole, big box over my bed so that I would have no choice but to go through the things or I would have nowhere to sleep.

This box hadn't been gone through for years and years. That much I could tell from the stuff in it.

But then something caught my eye, a white box- of those filled with medicines. I was about to put it to the side to put it in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. That we'd now need when Frey started walking so he couldn't get anything in him. But then, just as I saw the title of the medicine on the box. My mind was filled with memories and I froze staring down on it.

Keppra

"What's this?" I asked to myself. "Oh… I remember now."

Flashback

"Mum. I'm fine…"

"You're not fine."

I had fallen at school- climbed a tree, and fallen down. I was fine- I wasn't high up or anything. I didn't even have a headache.

"I must have spun around in the air…." I explained to mum while I figured it myself. "…I landed on my back, and then my head hit back towards the ground. Where there was soft grass… Had I landed on my head first or if I would have hit the asphalt it would have been way worse but it wasn't."

"I'm not even sure if you understand Henry…"

"Understand what?" I fizzled at her. "I understand plenty. I understand enough. I understand that if I had actually been hurt, or had a concussion or anything it would show. I would have a headache and the tests the doctor made would show completely different results. My reflexes wouldn't be working, when she shined with a flashlight into my eyes my pupils wouldn't move. And I would be different… JUST DIFFERENT!"

I didn't mean to yell at mum. I never did but somehow I always ended up doing it anyway…

"There might be a while before the symptoms…"

"UGH!"

I yelled and stomped away from her, then continued towards the stairs and my room so I could at least be alone.

"No. Henry, I want you to stay here, at least for the rest of the day. Where I can see you if you have a seizure…"

If glares could kill there wouldn't be much left of my mum. But I just couldn't figure what to say so instead of saying anything I angrily threw myself on the living room sofa, wrapped myself up in my blanket and turned my back against her. Although I barely had the time to reach for the TV-remote.

"No. Henry. If you have a concussion you can't watch TV…" I looked around. "…or read. Remember what the doctor said, it might be as much as a week befo…"

"WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THEN?" I yelled. "Only sit right here, stare ahead of me and wait for time to pass by?"

Mum only gave me a meaning look.

"You have Epilepsy Henry… I'm sorry. But you have to live with that and whatever it does. And I'm only trying to care for you and make sure you're safe."

Really! I did know that!

I wanted to give some stupid, ironic comment like that. But as soon as I wanted to protest, and simply stomp up to my room angrily. There was just that one girl that was suddenly in front of me. And I saw her as clearly as I saw the stripes of my blanket.

One day at school she was there. The next our teacher had been standing in front of us with tears rolling down her cheeks.

As soon as anger and rage filled me up, and I just wanted to go against what mum said. Then only go to my room or wherever I could be alone, all I could see in front of me was Jessica Mullins, who had been in my English class. That I had thought about ever since that morning the teacher had been upset.

I didn't know a seizure could be so harmful in itself…

"Henry?"

"What?"

I was aware that I was sounding ruder than I should have to. That mum was only trying to be nice while she reached me a big cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon. I took it and only glared back at mum until she left the room. Then I looked towards the cup.

It was my favorite cup, a big porcelain one I had had for Christmas. Red and white with a reindeer on it. I never really got around to use it a lot.

If I could only go back in time, change what I had done and stayed on the ground instead of climbing that tree. So I wouldn't fall, not hit my head and I would still be in school, having math than here having hot chocolate while mum fussed over me worse than ever.

I barely even knew what I was doing when I pulled my arm back, as far as I could and then threw the cup across the room and as hard as I possibly could.

The cup hit the wall hard. The porcelain was smashed into pieces, hot chocolate, whipped cream and cinnamon and ended up just about everywhere.

And here I was… And I just realized what I had done.

I had broken my favorite cup, I had hurt myself and scolded mum for caring about me. I wasn't going back to school for at least a week and I just couldn't figure why I was so angry all the time…

End of flashback

That day, if I had actually stopped to wonder. I would probably have realized that my problems with anger, tantrums and crying way too easily had started once I started the meds I now had in front of me.

I might even have noticed that my mood was…. "steadier" when I didn't take them anymore. But I was so concentrated on keeping everything secret I didn't even notice until now.

About a year after I had fallen I had "forgotten" to take my medicines one morning.

Then I'd "forgotten" the evening dose as well.

And then I'd "forgotten" the next.

Then I'd searched up Emma and the fact that I wasn't taking any medicines was the easiest to keep out of all secrets I held.

Mum must have known I wasn't taking any…

She must have known.

But I never had another seizure, neither big nor any small ones.

"HENRY…" Violet shouting from the kitchen dragged me back to reality from my memories, thoughts and dreams. "HENRY? Can you come here please?" The sound of her voice almost drowned in the noise of Frey's shrieking. "Henry…"

I threw the box of old medicines on the bed and jogged out of the bedroom and to the kitchen where Frey was shrieking, Violet panicking and Patch skipping around her feet.

"Patch!" She said, trying to scold him but her voice was shaky. "Stop it, stop it… I hate it when you are like this!"

Patch was always an inside-dog- But we had a small kennel in the garden, cruel some people would think. But with Frey and moving we just simply sometimes didn't have the time to take him on a walk. Especially when he was hyper like this. So before anything else I grabbed him around his chest, took him outside- threw him into the kennel and closed the door before I went back to the kitchen.

"Now…" I took Frey, still shrieking from Violet's arms. "…come here… Maybe I should take both you and the dog on a walk…" Frey calmed down as soon as I held him. "…well? Maybe not… Sorry Vi… I just… I found something that reminded me of… something…. Maybe Frey need a nap. Or what do you say?" Violet sniveled. "Well… that's the thing when you have a toddler… But… he calmed down. Yeah. You just wanted dada? Didn't you?"

As if he wanted to tell me yes his eyelids were closing.

"Are you okay?" I asked Violet, who had sniveled again. "Patch didn't hurt you. Did he?"

"No… But, it's not fair. Frey's been fussy all morning. But as soon as you come along…"

I couldn't help but laugh. I felt bad at first but then Violet smiled too.

"I guess this is just life when you have someone as little as him…" I tried to explain but maybe I didn't understand it myself. "But, in less than a month he'll be turning one. And before we know it he'll be a teenager and we won't know where the time went by…. I'll take both him and the dog on a walk after lunch You can come along if you want. Or you can stay behind…. But we can stop by the dog park and Patch can play and get some of that energy of him."

"I'd like to stay behind now for some peace and quiet… As long as you don't mind I could get to at least sit down without packing or anything for just a while."

"No. Of course not…. But we need something to eat first… I think there is something in the freezer to just heat up… Listen to that… quiet." I joked. "It's during these whiles that at least I wouldn't mind having ten more of these." I nodded towards Frey, I smirked and Violet smiled slightly again but it looked forced. "What? I'm not going to force you into anything. I promise. If you're happy with Frey than I am too."

"Well… it's just that. I didn't tell you but… since about yesterday… I don't know if I'd like ten. But we're at least one little person closer…"

Violet silent, and for a while all thoughts were just spinning in my mind.

"Oh… you mean…." I couldn't finish the sentence. "You mean…" Violet nodded and gave another faint smile. "You mean…"

"I mean!"

"Whoa!"

I couldn't have figured anything else to say as if we so froze here for a thousand years…..

"I love you…" I whispered at last. My son had gone out like a light towards my shoulder, but still where I could carefully place a kiss on the side of his soft, dark hair. "…and I love you… You're going to be a big brother now Frey. Cool, isn't it?"

At least I had been almost an adult when my younger sister, Hope was born. Frey didn't have any idea of what was going on around him.

Violet seemed nervous though…

I held Frey to my side with one arm, the other arm I laid around Violet's shoulders. None of us said anything.

We of course had a crib for him in our bedroom for the nights. And enough of space for Frey and the new baby, as well as at least a couple of other small people to have their own room. And at last, we also put a travel cot where we were for when we needed to put him down and use both of our hands, or just put him down for a while

Everyone who had ever had a baby would know how many times that actually did work.

Now,, when I put him down he moaned slightly, but didn't wake up. And I realized I could look back up on Violet after he snuggled closer to the soft bunny I gave him.

Only seeing this one person, who I loved so much, and so much more than I had ever known I could love.

Frey whimpered slightly again, but his eyes didn't open…

If he ever got hurt…

If he had Epilepsy one day… Epilepsy being genetic was rare, but not unique and I had had it after all. Maybe he had it and one day he would fall down a tree or slip in the bathroom…

What if he was allergic to Patch and he would be so terribly sick before we even knew it. When didn't even figure until he was struggling to breathe…

What if he had diabetes? Or a heart failure or anything else that hadn't been diagnosed just yet? Something else that would turn our perfectly healthy little boy not so healthy anymore.

"Henry?"

What if he just was something else than the young, innocent toddler in front of me.

"Henry? What is it?"

I heard the worry in Violet's voice and realized I was hyperventilating.

"I…. I…."

I'd have to call up my mum and apologize for always being so annoyed when she fussed over me. Because if anything ever happened to Frey, the new baby spiring or if we'd have any others- I'd die. I just simply die!

"It's just…" I almost whispered at last when I realized how I worried Violet. "If anything ever happened to him… or to them. I just couldn't… I just wouldn't be able to take that."

"Why would anything happen to them?" Violet took my hand, then laid it against her belly where was now something- someone new growing inside of her. "Henry? Why would anything happen to them? And why are you suddenly thinking about that right now?"

"I just… I found something in an old carton that I hadn't seen in years. That I'd actually forgotten all about. But all of a sudden… I could see it all in front of me as if it was happening right now." Violet looked quite confused and I decided that here went nothing. "When I was younger I had Epilepsy and… now I found a box of old medicines just so… I couldn't help but remember and… the thing is…. What if he…. Or this new baby, or if we have more kids in the future. What if they have Epilepsy, or Asthma, or Diabetes- or any other of those terrible diseases out there. Or what if he's bullied in school, or what if…"

"You know. Now when Frey starts walking. He might trip when he gets out of bed one morning, fall and break his neck."

I sighed, laughed sadly and wiped some tears with my sleeve…

"Look! Henry… Accidents can always happened, and illnesses- such as Epilepsy or just a cold… They're always going to happen. But we just can't go around and worry for everything… We just can't. It would ruin all of ours' lives. So… instead. How come, today- and here and now. We can just be happy- and grateful that they're not happening right now. Because they aren't."

"You're always so wise Vi…"

I glanced down on our son- our first child and what perfect we had made together.

"Now…. I'm going to go flush those pills down the toilet before Frey has a chance to get to them. And then… I think I have to call my mum and apologize for always being so rude whenever she was only worrying and fussing over me." I looked down on Frey one more time. "When she only loved me more than I could ever know was possible."

The cup Henry has, is a "reindeer mug" from style your nest home decor. I'll post a picture on my Instagram Linneagbffn.

This isn't the first time I make characters from the series have kids. It's fun- especially to figure what kinds of names any characters would like.

Random fact

So… some notes about what is this is real and what is made up.

I didn't fall down from a tree and hit my head on the ground- I slipped in the shower and hit my head in the wall.

(I didn't have any seizures afterwards. Let's just decide Henry doesn't have any neither)

I will never get the chance to flush any medicines down the toilet. Over here, we put them in a bag and hand them in at the pharmacy.

I have Epilepsy for the rest of my life, with or without medicines. Henry's also nine here and I didn't even have Epilepsy until I was 19 (first big seizure and first EEG).

I didn't go to the doctor the same day as I fell. I went the next day because mum made me. And I watched a movie the same day (If you're wondering it was "good witch") and nothing happened. Mum only said that I shouldn't.

I didn't have hot chocolate- boo. But I did have a piece of cake and ice cream.

It's been years since I took Keppra. And yes! They made me into a monster. But I have other meds now, and when I switched I realized Keppra must have caused more big seizures instead of helping to prevent them.

Violet's ironic comment… "You know. Now when Frey starts walking. He might trip when he gets out of bed one morning, fall and break his neck." Is something my dad told me along with "It's probably a bigger risk for that than for a plane to crash" when I was afraid to fly the first time.

There's just so much I can see in front of me, the travel cot in the kitchen, tipping out a box of stuff on the bed, Patch the dalmatian and his kennel. I can just see it.

I didn't go to school with someone who died from it. Someone who died was an actor named Cameron Boyce. And when I wanted to go home (I stayed at my mum's for a few days after my fall) I kept seeing him in front of him.

And then- the worried mum. The worst part of all is knowing I worry her. She doesn't deserve that.

After all, not having seizures after I hit my head, and today is five years without big tonic- clonic seizures. So I wanted to write something just a little bit happy.

I hope everyone liked it after all.