I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I'll make it up along the way! There is a same titled story on here, I am not copying it, it's literally the same writer on a different account (explanation in bio) I don't own Yugioh Zexal! Please read and review :D

Wake up.

Go to work.

Die from sleep deprivation.

And do that again for the next how many years I will live for. Probably not that long. I've been knocking on Death's Door since the day I was born. It's not like anyone would care if I died.

That's not true, Droite or Haruto would. But that's obvious.

At this point, I don't even know why Droite loves me. Why did she choose me? I'm of no use to her, a failure. She died for me, and all I could respond with was 'I couldn't care less'. She died for me. I was so fixated on Christopher that I couldn't show any remorse, any empathy? Just so I could be brave and bold in front of my previous mentor?

He probably hates me, at the back of his mind he wonders: 'the person I taught to duel and love, shuns away someone who willingly died for him, what kind of person is he?' every time we meet.

She loved me for seven years and counting. And I succumbed to her.

I respect Droite, I love everything about her. How she's a talented duelist, has strong moral grounds, willing to protect everyone and everything she loves.

I started my relationship with her out of guilt, and also pity. Pity within myself. She was the first person who ran to me as soon as she heard the news of my 'rebirth' after I was defeated by Vetrix. The first person. Yuma came days after, checked to see if I was able to stand, then wanted a duel. Purple Octopus Boy, along with Quattro met me a while after I was discharged from the hospital, reporting that Chris had woken up and wanted to see me.

The only person who truly cared, was Droite. She was the only one who asked if I was okay, if my brother was okay. If I had eaten, slept well, recovered properly.

'Be careful Kaito. Don't sit up if you're in pain. Here, I brought some caramel, I know it makes you feel better,' she said, as she came closer to me. She had dark circles under her eyes and ghostly pale skin, her hands shaking with chipped fingernails. She was in a worse condition than me, yet she still stayed by my side and treated me like a human, instead of some enslaved duelist, who only feels anger and disgust at everyone apart from his brother.

As she leaned towards me, propping up my pillow, I leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Her pale skin turned a light shade of pink, taken aback from my unexpected gesture. Even I couldn't believe what happened, I didn't feel love yet I felt a sense of desire and comfort, a sense of longing towards her. Looking away, trying to make sense of my emotions, she placed a hand on the side of the hospital bed, and kissed me. It wasn't like mine: rushed, uncomfortable, awkward. It was...real. Full of love and affection, care and empathy.

And since then, we've been together. It's nearly been a year.

Droite has changed and developed, quitting dueling and becoming Gauche's manager...? (I'm still confused by this) She's gained knowledge about more of the world, not just Heartland City. She cares for me even more, teaches Haruto and helps him with his homework. Even Haruto loves Droite. When Droite and I come home together, he clings by her side more than mine. He always wants to know what emails she's writing to people, or he wants to watch television with her, and every so often they make sweet desserts which he takes to school and shares with his friends.

I once heard Haruto say to Yuma 'It's not like I prefer Droite over my big brother...but she spends more time with me, she gives me caramel and hot chocolate, she helps me with homework, she teaches me how to duel, I guess she's just a tiny bit better than big brother'

And I don't blame him.

Droite and I basically live together, we eat each others food, we sleep and wake up together, yet she has grown. I haven't.

Every night, she hugs me tightly, telling me how much she loves me. She caresses my cheeks and places butterfly kisses around my neck. Yet I simply stare at the ceiling, wishing I was elsewhere. On the moon, or with the stars.

'Goodnight Kaito, I love you,' I hear this every night. If I fall asleep at work, she sends me a voice message detailing me her day and ending with that quote.

She truly loves me, but I'm unsure of my emotions. I tell Droite I love her as a way to express my gratitude for her caring about me.

But.

I don't feel the butterflies in my stomach.

I don't feel the blush rising to my cheeks every night.

I don't feel the meaning of 'I love you too' which forces its way out of my mouth every so often.

Something is missing in my life.