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Topic: January 25th Edition
In: Boards SAB Global News
Edition (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Verified PreCog ) (SAB QUEEN)
Posted On Jan 24th 2011:
GLOBAL NEWS UPDATE:
Africa
Egyptian cape Anubis will attack Cairo's Central Arts District in response to incursions into his territory by the independent hero Atum-Ra. The fight will result in three square blocks being destroyed and 560 fatalities when Atum-Ra unleashes a blast of uncontrolled radiation. Fatalities are expected to grow.
Tsun-Su, a Kyushu survivor that was captured and sold into slavery, has triggered in the former province of the Congo. A limited baseline Alexandria package, Tsun-Su also possess the ability to grow stronger from kinetic blows dealt upon his body. Tsun-Su will begin a coordinated campaign against regional slavers, warlords, and opportunist in the River Valley Crescent shortly after sunset local time. Good hunting Tsun!
Asia
Japanese villainess Sage takes the next major step in her planned conquest of the Honshu Island. Sage will be testing a unique aerosol biological agent that causes the human body to perceive all motion at 1/100th the actual speed.
While Sage's plan was to use the agent to blitz the island and take out the surviving capes in one fell swoop, the agent also slows the human body's internal responses to below sustainable levels. As a result, the 3,246 people she tests the agent on in the village of Myagi will die shortly before 4:37am local time.
Australia
The King's Men and the Caperoos have come to an agreement on a Tinker Technology Transfer Agreement. The agreement will go into effect at the start of February, and both organizations hope to develop significant advancements in dimensional transference.
Europe
The King's Men and the Meisters will be providing assistance, along with capes from France and Belgium, to take out the independent villain Root in Amsterdam. As subscribers might recall from our January 21st update, Root recently displaced several capes from the Gesellschaft to become the predominant villain in the Netherlands.
South America
A guerrilla interment camp in Peru will be destroyed after a trigger event causes an uncontrollable series of lightning strikes. 12 guerrilla fighters will be killed, along with 82 political prisoners being held as leverage against the Chilean government. With the death of the prisoners, anticipate an increase in fighting along the Boliva/Chile/Peru border.
(Showing page 1 of 4)
Accord (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
The fact that the Gesellschaft was unable to contain Root with the number of capes they had near Amsterdam speaks to the danger he poses to stability in the region.
Lord Walston (King's Men)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Once again, Edition, I must protest the revelation of our arrangement with the Australians.
Skidmark (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Screw that you uptight cunt! You actually made a deal with a group of people that call themselves the Caperoos? Bwhahaah. Pussy!!!
The_Gentleman (The Elite)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Elegant as usual, Skidmark. Though I find myself having to agree with the man's sentiment if not with his language. Honestly, Lord Walston, the Caperoos?
Narwhal (The Guild)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Lord Walston, can you tell us anything about Root? Do you anticipate uprooting him out of Amsterdam will be difficult?
Edit: Unintentional pun was unintentional.
Undersiders (Most Likely Tattletale) (Group Account)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Lol. I see what you did there @Narwhal. But to answer your question, no they should be fine. Unless someone here decides to screw with the future, again.
Glares at Bastard Son*
Lord Walston (King's Men)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
We in the King's Men look at the quality of ones character and not the frivolity of their organization's name.
@Narwhal, thank you, but no, we should be fine.
Undersiders (Most Likely Tattletale) (Group Account)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Especially since the Gesellschaft will likely help you on the down low. Once Root has been pruned and your capes head home, they can go back to running everything in the city.
Deva Yaga (Saltykovkoya Bratva)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Bitch talks too much.
Prince Prosperous (Gold Coin)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Does anyone know why the Gesellschaft is still not on SAB yet?
Kelvin (Los Narcos)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Rumor has it they balked at Edition's price then tried to get an American Affiliate to help them gain access. Shortsighted greedy fools. No better than the Jews they proclaim to hate.
Glory Girl (Verified Cape) (New Wave)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Why is it I always seem to join the boards at the worst time. Seriously? Bashing Jewish people? I get that enough in the Bay.
Also, some Japanese cape is going to kill like 3,000 people! Priorities!
Chevalier (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Glory Girl, be very careful on SAB, it is not PHO. The people on this board are no joke.
The Protectorate has already alerted the Japanese authorities to Sage's actions.
Prince Prosperous (Gold Coin)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Ha. Japanese authorities.
There is no reason to be cute here, which Warlord did the Protectorate tip-off?
Chevalier (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
The Protectorate does not work with Warlords. We alerted the Japanese Embassy in New York.
Prince Prosperous (Gold Coin)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
And then those weak-willed men and woman who fled their homelands likely did nothing or, if they truly cared about their homes, contacted the true authority in the lands. Only time will tell I suppose.
We here in New Siam will keep an eye on this Sage. If she crosses the sea with intent on our territory, she will die screaming.
Mouse Protector (Independent Cape) (Edition's Pet)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Why do you Villains all have to be all "grrrrr die screaming grrrr*
Can't you just go back to plotting quietly in a corner?
End of Page. 1 of 4
Topic: January 25th Edition
In: Boards SAB Protectorate Regional News
Edition (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Verified PreCog ) (SAB QUEEN)
Posted On Jan 24th 2011:
PROTECTORATE REGIONAL NEWS UPDATE:
Boston
Blasto will launch a preemptive raid on Teeth incursions into East Allston. After pushing the teeth into Cambridge, Chain Man will enter the fight and the two capes will engage in a protracted battle, resulting in the destruction of three buildings. No fatalities.
A minor delay in the Protectorate's response time will be caused by a ventilation shaft in the motor pool breaking loose and becoming attached to Weld's right arm.
Houston
Independent Hero Waverider will execute James McMasters and 9 out of the 10 Board of Directors of Pennzoil Inc., razing the top floors of the Pennzoil building downtown and killing 157 additional people.
Waverider will carry out the act after being provided fraudulent documents, alleging that Mr. McMasters and the Pennzoil Board were responsible for the Echo-Tune Deepwater Disaster of 2007.
Relying upon paid contractors from Los Narcos to provide a distraction, Waverider will fire several concussion blasts, repeatedly striking the 43rd and 44th floors.
Further attacks will be preempted by the arrival of Protectorate Hero Exalt, but damage to the building will be extensive and Strider will be called in for emergency evacuations of civilians. Chief Director Rebbeca Costa-Brown will sign a kill order for Waverider at 6:42pm. Eidolon will carry out the order shortly thereafter in a brief aerial duel.
Update: Causality altered by Subscriber, future changed.
Las Vegas
Satyr will be ambushed by members of the villain group Gambet's Run during a scheduled PR event outside the Venetian Hotel and Casino. The ensuing fight will result in Number 7 and Flush of Gambet's Run mastering a crowd of civilians, leading them to believe each of Satyr's clones are notable villains. A minor stampede will result in 23 civilians injured, 2 critically.
Update: Causality altered by Subscriber, future changed.
Los Angelas
August Prince and Bambina will launch an attack on a film crew taping the next installment of the Scarlet's Letter television series on the Santa Monica Pier at 3:27 pm.
Update: Casualty altered by Subscriber, future changed.
San Francisco
Eleventh Hour will finalize his threat evaluation of Edition in case she should transition from a cooperative-Rogue to full-fledged Villian. Eleventh Hour's power rates the likelihood of an event occurring and the potential consequences of the action, scaling from 1 (a statistical certainty / little consequence) to 11 (a statistical impossibility / severe global repercussions).
The results are as follows:
Attempting to use Protectorate resources to exploit a weakness in Edition's civilian life to move her away from villainy results in a 6 7 - a less than probable chance of success with serious risk of a Protectorate cape death in retribution.
Attempting to use Protectorate resources to maneuver Edition into the Protectorate via nonviolent and nonaggressive measures rates a 9 5 - statistically insignificant chance of success with a visible, but not physically detrimental, response by Edition.
Attempting to use Protectorate resources to execute a kill order on Edition results in a 2 10 - a statistically significant probability of success, but with extensive and intolerable global repercussions.
Update: Causality altered. Fuck you, WEDGDG.
(Showing page 1 of 6)
Edition (Original Poster) (Verified Cape) (Verified PreCog ) (SAB QUEEN)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Today's news feed brought to you by WEDGDG, whose rates WILL be raised when their subscription expires in 6 months.
Dragon (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Edition, please do not take Eleventh Hour's analysis personally. The PRT and Protectorate provide threat control ratings for all capes that have the potential to be A or S-Class threats.
Rook (Red Hand)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Does that include trying to manipulate a cape's civilian identity?
@Legend is there a report somewhere with the likelihood of success of executing a kill order on me?
Accord (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
A truly chaotic day.
Mouse Protector (Independent Cape) (Edition's Pet)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Pssh, don't take it personally, Edition. WDGDG are touchy at the best of times. Appraiser rated me "an extremely unsettling shade of Mauve" after I left the Protectorate.
Can you imagine that? Mauve! I am a legit full-blooded Purple to my very core!
Anonymous (Paid Post)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
[Eyes only, Toybox and Edition]
M. Armstrong (PRT ENC)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Edition can you provide any additional information regarding Blasto's fight in Cambridge?
Weld will be avoiding the motor pool this morning.
Anonymous (Paid Post)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
[Eyes only, Toybox and Edition]
Rook (Red Hand)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
@M.Armstrong, do you think we buy the paid posts because we LIKE giving Edition money?
Still waiting by the way @Legend!
WEDGDG (Verified Dicks)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Please check your private messages.
Undersiders (Most Likely Tattletale) (Group Account)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
As loathe as I am to defend the PRT, the question WEDGDG asked is all about exploiting a weakness in your civilian life, not searching out, locating, or identifying your Civilian ID. It's a subtle difference, but it's there . . . if you squint . . . a lot.
R. Hearthrow (PRT MW)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
The PRT did not attempt to investigate your civilian identity @Edition.
Per PRT Policy 13.451-7, the PRT and its Protectorate affiliates do not "make attempts to undermine the lawfully registered identities of individuals or groups of individuals that engage in legally permissible activities in the guise of another assumed identity while engaging in activities that can be described as beyond standard human norms."
Undersiders (Most Likely Tattletale) (Group Account)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
0_o
Seriously? I give you an out and this is how you respond? FFS, I don't have to be a Thinker to point out the absolutely gaping holes in what you just said.
Anonymous (Paid Post)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
[Eyes only, Toybox and Edition]
Mouse Protector (Independent Cape) (Edition's Pet)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Boooooorrrring
PRT Policy Codes? I thought I was done hearing those lectures when I left Boston.
No MP, you can't spray paint your awesome MouseSign(TM) on buildings we suspect are owned by Accord.
No MP, you can't wear your ears that way, Disney won't like it.
No MP, you can't teleport into Fenway Park to watch a game.
Can we maybe talk about Waverider going nuts in Houston? I met him at an Endbringer fight once. Never seemed like the type to lose his shit like that. Pretty sure I've got his number somewhere if it's needed.
A. Johansen (PRT TXH)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
We are aware of the situation and are already reaching out to Waverider. Thank you, MP.
Narwhal (The Guild)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
How did you get that tag, Mouse Protector? And what does it even mean?
Accord (Verified Cape)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
It means that killing her isn't worth the trouble it would cause me, provided she never returns to Boston.
Mouse Protector (Independent Cape) (Edition's Pet)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Awww, luv you too Cordy!
@Narwhal, I'm just Edition's favorite indie Hero!
Undersiders (Most Likely Tattletale) (Group Account)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Pretty sure Mouse Protector traded a favor for board access (no way she has the $$$ to pay for this).
But, yeah, Edition probably also had to offer Accord something, especially since MP started posting on SAB.
ToyboxIT (Moderator/TechSupport)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
@Undersiders be careful. TOS Rule 4.
Undersiders (Most Likely Tattletale) (Group Account)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
TOS Rule 4:
"discussions regarding YOUR payment..."
I'm not talking about MY payment.
;)
USER HAS BEEN WARNED.
Moderator Edit: Cut the shit, Tattletale, or your account goes into immediate suspension. Only warning.
Undersiders (Most Likely Tattletale) (Group Account)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
Yes, sir.
We apologise.
Tattletale will be taking a forced break from posting for a few days.
~Grue.
Paddock (Adepts) (Tier 2)
Replied On Jan 24th 2011:
The PRT doesn't care about its policies or rules, only for the continued suppression of Parahumans by the unworthy masses. We call upon all true Parahumans to cast off these shackles and join us in reaching a closer connection with all of our powers through embellishments!
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