Michael wasn't quite sure what to expect when he finally built up the nerve to venture outside the barren walls of what he was considering to be his permanent residency, at least up until further notice. Since Helpy's legs could only carry him at a fraction of the pace Michael's legs were able to carry him, the young man figured that it would benefit the both of him if he were to carry the small animatronic with him in one arm; similar to how one would carry a stuffed teddy bear. Taking in a deep breath to harden his resolve, Michael experienced stimulation-whiplash the moment he stepped out of the warm and stuffy environment of the empty dining hall, and out into the cool fresh air that awaited for him outside the empty pizzeria.
Bracing himself for anything, Michael's experience having an acute sense of spatial awareness mixed in with a bit of questionably-healthy paranoia had him scanning his surroundings in every which way; from the top of his two-story barren establishment, to the streets and even the unlit Fazbear sign itself. "Alright… So far, so good then… No one's really paying attention to- Ah, SHIT; I spoke too soon…!!!" Michael shouted underneath his breath, as he tensed up and froze the moment he noticed someone from the crowd of passerbyers taking notice of him, before promptly walking toward him with an intrigued and friendly expression on their face.
At least, Michael assumed that the three-foot tall green-frog muppet that was now standing before him was smiling; the uncanny plastic eyes that the strange two-legged creature had was almost as unsettling as the strange outline of what looked like a disembodied hand inside controlling its facial movements as it spoke in a strange cadance. "Well hello there, stranger. Kermit the Frog here, and who might you and your little friend there be, hmmm?" The strange muppet asked him, all while raising his noodly arm up to extend his green hand, which was made out of fleece, out toward Michael.
Having lived so long in the shadows, thanks to his previous deformities and being shunned away by the world as if though he were a monster, Michael's social skills were already rusty enough as they were; the fact that he was being put into a situation with a sentient muppet didn't exactly make it all that much easier for him to brush up on his "people" skills. Slowly letting out a breath, Michael awkwardly used his free hand to grab a hold of Kermit's; applying more pressure then he thought, as the next thing he knew the muppet's uncanny face began to contort, as if though the hand inside of Kermit's head had closed into a fist.
"BWAHHHHHH!!! HELP, HELP!!! I'M BEING ASSAULTED BY THIS RACIST MAN!!!" Kermit shrieked out in a rather goofy-sounding voice that made Michael chuckle under his breath; despite the fact that the situation quickly escalated the moment he realized the sheer amount of strange and colorful beings who were briskly storming over to where he and the flailing muppet were at.
"Wait…?! RACIST?!? I'm not a BLOODY racist!" Michael retorted with an offended expression on his face, as he immediately released Kermit's crushed hand before taking a step back; accidentally bumping into someone who was large, and that wasn't afraid to shove him forward. Stumbling forward and accidentally committing another hate crime by bumping Kermit down on the parking lot asphalt, Michael spun around with Helpy instinctively whipping out his trust air horn, as the two of them were face-to-face with a nearly seven foot tall, family-friendly looking ogre.
"Oi Saxon, you've got a problem with folks with green skin now, do ye?! What?! Think that you're better than us, with your pretty-boy looks and cheap little plastic baby-toy?!" The green ogre asked in an instigating voice; rally the others surrounding Michael and Helpy from all sides to close in around the two.
Shaking his head while raising his hand up, Michael began walking backwards and away from the large ogre as he smiled uneasily at the crowd of angry folk around him. "N-No, no! Mates! Mates, mates, mates, mates, mates! This is just a bloody misunderstanding; really, I would never-"
"-BWAAAAH!!! OH GOD, HE'S STEPPING ON MY LITTE FROG DICK; FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEE!!!" Kermit interrupted with a shriek of agony; causing Michael to look down to where his heel was accidentally digging into the fleece crotch of the muppet, where upon immediate inspect it became clear that there wasn't anything even remotely resembling genetically inbetween Kermit's long, noodle-like legs.
"Ah, WHAT?!? That's BULLSHIT!!! LOOK!!! He's just taking the PISS out of this now!" Michael cursed with an exasperated tone in his voice, as he made sure to watch where he was going while stepping off of the trampled green muppet.
That was when a young teenager with long-turquoise twin-tails and a futuristic cybernetic school-girl outfit stepped forward to raise her half-sleeved arm up, so as to point her accusatory finger directly at Michael. "This racist just called that poor little froggie "DICKLESS", and is insinuating that he's a "LIAR", and a "CHEAP-WHORE"!!!" The pale-skinned vocaloid shouted in an auto tuned-sounding voice, which caused an eruption of offended gasps and audible outrage in the form of the crowd speaking over one another, just so they could begin violently spitting out hateful slurs about Michael being British.
"Where the bloody hell did you even get "cheap-whore" fro- Oh, fuck it; there's no point in arguing," Michael muttered out with defeat in his voice, as he immediately gave up on even trying to get a word in over the cacophony of insults that were being hurled verbally at him. "Helpy, mate, things are going tits-up for us right now…! What the hell are we going to do to get out of this one…?!" Michael asked in a panicked tone, as he spoke closely near the round war of the small animatronic.
While the thought did cross Helpy's goofy mind, about how could possibly use his trusty air horn to get a fifteen kill streak in whatever world he and Michael were thrown in, the robotic bear decided against it, as it was blatantly obvious that doing so would only leave to more problems; with there being too many witnesses, and of the fact that they were both garnishing more and more attention from those stopping to investigate the ramble surrounding them. Since violence wasn't a reliable method of problem solving in that case, Helpy decided to go for a charismatic "Hail Mary" approach instead. Hopping down from Michael's arm, Helpy raised his air horn up and pressed down on it as he struck a pose, and was hoping to Freddy Fazbear himself that the bewildered young man would follow along with his lead.
"Oi! What's this wee lil' guy doing?! He's making a ruckus, and yet I'm intrigued with his cute little dancing," the green ogre spoke aloud; changing his tune to be more more relaxed, as he and the rest of the crowd became entranced with Helpy's performance.
Having seconds ago assumed that he was going to have to go down swinging, Michael looked up from the tiny dancing bear to see the pacified audience around him; an audience who he could convince to not go through with jumping him and Helpy. 'What to do, what to do…?! Wait… Wait hold on… I've got it,' Michael thought to himself; an imaginary bulb lighting up above his head, as Kermit the Frog gazed up with betrayal and confusion behind his plastic eyes.
"W-What's going on…? Why… WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE FORGETTING ABOUT-" Kermit shrieked out in his goofy voice, before having his fleece-made face pushed back from the force of Helpy's air horn, which was set off within a mere inch of his face.
With whatever the muppet's equivalent to eardrums and cerebellum having just been momentarily disabled by the small robotic bear's trusty tool, Michael decided to give it his all as he summoned the same inner-showman that his father had within him; back when William Afton had to put on the Spring Bonnie suit to manipulate his audiences. Striking a pose with a convincing showman expression spreading across his attractive facial features, Michael smiled brightly at the confused mob around him before saying in an extravagant voice, "Congratulations to each and every single one of you; you've all shown yourselves as good-hearted people, who've got the "Fazbear Spirit" inside all of you!"
A hotheaded Japanese girl with long orange hair, blue eyes and a crimson plug-suit that covered everything but her head stepped forward, with her fists pressed down on her slender hips; one eyebrow arched and her lips turned downward into a suspicious frown as she demanded, "What's that garbage coming out of your pie hole?! What the hell even is "Fazbear Spirit"?!"
Spinning around before striking another showman-like pose with Helpy mirroring his movements, Michael flashed an enigmatic and intriguing grin at the bewildered ginger teenager, before gesturing over to the neon sign that loomed over the mob like a sigual. "Curious to know what "Fazbear Spirit" is? Hmmm, well then, how about you and everyone else come join us at "Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria" to come find out for yourselves~?!" Michael challenged with a glimmer in his blue eyes, while completely dodging the question as to what "Fazbear Spirit" even meant. "In a week's time, you'll have access to a family-friendly world unlike anything you've ever seen before! Animatronics, pizza, arcade games, prizes and so, so, SO much more! It'll be so nice to meet you, and to have you join our animatronic family NEXT Saturday!"
Having transformed an unwinnable brawl into free publicity, Michael and Helpy made up their own moves as they finished their fake advertisement with a little dance, before striking one last pose with their arms stretch out wide to perform jazz-hands; the two of them hoping that none of the speechless members of their audience would see right through their facade.
"… Oh! I get it now! This is a marketing strategy; it's like those television shows that do that whole "what would you do if you saw this"," a young man with brown messy hair and a green cloak said aloud; relieving Michael and Helpy, as more and more people began following suit with the idea that the two of them had successfully planted into each of their heads.
With the dispersing pediatricians returning to the sidewalk to discuss amongst their own separate group about what they had just seen, Michael and Helpy both let out a heavy sigh as they dropped their shoulders back while tilting their heads back, as they took in a deep breath. With how worried he had been, Michael would have completely forgotten about Kermit, had he not heard the shoe-print covered muppet struggle to get back onto his fleece webbed-feet.
Before Michael could turn around to apologize for how things transpired between them, Kermit's face was sucked into his head; his goofy face expressing all the vindictive anger it could, as he glared at the young man through his plastic eyes. "L-Listen here, ummm… You're a dead motherfucker; yep," Kermit said with a casual nod, while his voice suddenly became calm and somewhat friendly; despite the fact that there was nothing friendly about the way he was choosing to be.
"… Are you threatening me, you creepy little sock-puppet?" Michael asked with his eyelids narrowed back, as he and Helpy prepared themselves to take the muppet out where he stood.
"Darn tootin' I am; yes sire, I'm gonna stomp your face in with my big-floppy foot. But before you two get wise and decide to strike me down in the streets, I think you two should realize that your little deceptive trick isn't going to work twice with these people. After all, just like my friends at Sesame Street told me, "dumbass lightning never strikes twice"," Kermit said with his attempt at looking smug, as he gestured with one hand toward some of the still-present onlookers, who were still lingering around and on their phones.
Tightening his fingers into fists, Michael bared his teeth slightly at Kermit, while using every fiber in his being to resist the temptation of reaching out to wrap his hands around the muppet's collared neck. "You green, noodle-armed bastard…! I should have stomped harder on your rugged-ass face, when I had the chance…!" Michael whispered through seething anger, before pulling himself away from the still nodding muppet.
"I came to greet you with the olive branch, and you used that branch to shove it up my metaphorical frog ASS. I should have known better than to try showing kindness to someone who crawled out of the local crack-house," Kermit said with a disappointed tone in his voice, before letting out a heavy sigh as he stopped nodding his fleece head. "I hope you've made your peace, because me and my friends are going to come back here tonight at midnight to raid your little pizzeria, and open a can of good ol' WHOOP-ASS" on you, and your little bear friend there."
Going wide-eyed and silently expressing bewilderment as he pointed a plastic thumb back at himself, Helpy received another repetitive nod from Kermit, as the small robotic bear wasn't expecting to have been included in the muppet's plan for vengeance.
"Yes sir, you would be correct; don't assume that I magically forgot about that air horn BULLSHIT that you used to silence me, bitch," Kermit said spitefully with an upset look on his muppet face; beginning to grow emotional as he darted his focus back and forth from Michael, to Helpy. "Y'all racist-motherfuckers always be praying for my downfall… Ain't no loyalty these days," Kermit said in a goofy-reserved voice that sounded as though it was his equivalent to what someone would sound like if they were frustrated, tearing up, and had a hand shoved up their ass; all at the same time. "See you bitches tonight; Fozzie Bear is coming in with the strap," Kermit choked out, before turning his back toward Michael and Helpy to begin using his unnaturally long legs to depart from the parking lot.
Trying to keep his eye on the green muppet for as long as he could, Michael soon lost Kermit amongst the crowds of people walking by his empty pizzeria as dread began to settle in for them. "… Wasn't expecting to make enemies within less than two minutes of stepping outside, Helpy, but I guess that's just another crappy hand that we've been dealt today," Michael said sarcastically, as he looked down at the optimistic robotic-bear, who in turn showed the young man that he was ready to tussle with the muppets by pounding one small fist into his palm.
Unable to help but to feel better about knowing that Helpy was quite possibly the only "ride or die" ally he's ever had on his side, Michael smiled softly and closed his eyelids gently, as he let out an amused throaty-chuckle. "Yeah… Yeah, I don't think I could ever forgive myself either if I were to let myself get scared off by whatever that thing was," Michael mused, before gently opening his eyelids as he looked up from where Helpy was, to gaze out toward the city skyline that awaited for him, just beyond the street in front of his pizzeria's parking lot,
"If you and I are going to be defending this place, I suppose it's only right that we start treating it like our home… And what sort of Americans would we be, if we didn't get our hands on some real firepower?" Michael asked rhetorically, as he looked back at Helpy to see the excited animatronic pretending to shoot an invisible rifle. "Easy there, Rambo; one-hundred dollars isn't going to get us anything like that… But if our time managing our own pizzeria's taught me anything, it's that you can find some pretty decent crap dumpster diving and shopping around at junkyards," Michael mused to Helpy, while beginning to feel more-and-more motivated to take a stand against his would-be fleece-skinned aggressors.
"… Well then, come on Helpy; there's plenty preparations that we need done before our unwelcome guest come in for one hell of a party," Michael said with a charming smirk forming across his pink lips, as he knelt down to pick Helpy back up into his arms; carrying the small robotic-bear with him, as the two made their way across the paved street to begin searching for nearby junkyards and alleyways for ways to perform dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.