Louisa helps her husband to move back to the surgery, at the end of season 7. Then season 8 takes place. But before season 9, I'll insert a short digression…a little holiday.
All rights belong to Buffalo Pictures, I only play with the characters.
CHAPTER 8
«Let's start downstairs then move upstairs, do you agree, Martin?»
"Yes." he put the keys and a couple of boxes on the table. He glanced around briefly, immensely relieved to leave that uncomfortable, dark hovel forever. Louisa noticed this and ran a hand over his arm, smiling at him. He turned to look at her and his frown softened.
While he piled up his few things on the table, she took care of putting them back in the cardboard. Observing how frugal and tidy he was, she felt a surge of tenderness towards him. She had burst into his life with her exuberance and her disorder, she was always ready to reproach him for his rigidity and his habits unchanged since who knows when... and yet he had let her do it, tolerating in silence... more or less . She had been truly arrogant to expect him to behave according to the standards of an ideal husband and father. She wanted so much to create a perfect family that would redeem her from a childhood with unstable parents and a motherless youth...
She had continually tormented him to be like the others, forgetting that she had fallen in love with his uniqueness. Unlike other men, starting with her father, Martin was reliable and honest. There were no surprises with him…as you saw him, that's how he was, no low blows or sudden changes of intentions. Yes, she had suffered from his silences. They made her feel excluded from his life, as if they were not a couple, but two people politely living in the same house. She now understood that it was his way of being, right or wrong, and that he didn't behave like that because he didn't love her.
She knew little about Martin as a child. A few comments that had escaped him here and there, some sentences from Ruth... and then his mother. In the short time she had been in the house with them she had learned to hate her for how she treated him. Her first impression of her was of a sophisticated and refined woman, still very beautiful. A few words were enough to make her change her mind.
Martin had become stiffer than ever. She remembered the moment when she had only touched his hand and he had immediately withdrawn it, causing his plate to fall. His gaze had become cold...his eyes said "Don't you dare touch me!" and he had ignored her with a sneer while he picked up the pieces. How much harm she must have done to him to arouse such a reaction in her son.
Then he suggested to Martin that they go somewhere for a couple of days... just the three of them... but he remained silent and paralyzed. She once again felt rejected and at that moment she had lost hope of reaching him. Thinking about it now…she should have considered that he had just lost his father and that, as much as he didn't want to talk about it, he was grieving. Maybe her with more patience… making him feel that she was beside him… she would have achieved more… but she hurt not being able to really help him. She suffered from that wall between them and she put all the blame on him, so she had found no other solution than to run away.
In recent weeks she had seen him struggle with himself and try to please her in every way, but what had she done except punish him by pushing him away? And there had been this doctor Timoney... who after a few words had shifted her attention to her... to her confusion... while Martin always and only expressed the desire to be with her.
"There's nothing else here."
Martin's words took her away from those thoughts.
"We moved quickly." she commented.
«Yes, luckily I have few things here.»
As he closed the box, Louisa's attention fell on a sheet of paper on top of a pile of medical journals.
It was empty with only one writing at the top: "List of possible benefits."
She took it in her hand and looked at it.
«You didn't write anything…»
«Mhm?» he didn't understand.
"The Timoney list."
«Ah…» he sighed «Well… there was nothing to write. As much as I tried… I found no advantage in living without you. I didn't want to separate at all. I didn't go through that whole…process…to give up on you." he concluded with a grimace.
She watched him for a moment, tilting her head to the side. Could she love him more than this?
"Silence and a tidy house wouldn't have been an advantage either, Martin?" she suggested with feigned naivety.
He took a step towards her and put his arms around her hips.
"No."
"I see…not even healthy meals?" she placed her hands on his chest.
"No." he agreed to play along.
"And what about all the social relationships you could have avoided?"
He half-heartedly focused on that possibility for a second.
"Neither." he concluded decisively, slightly raising the corners of his mouth «And you? Have you compiled the list?"
«No, I didn't write anything either. Any supposed advantage disappeared at the mere idea of losing you." she pressed against him «Come on, let's finish so we can go home, Martin. I don't like this place, it reminds me that we lived apart."
"All right."
He motioned for her to go ahead of him, when Louisa stopped.
«Martin, what were your intentions regarding yesterday's missed dinner? I mean that we had programmed it to communicate our respective decisions regarding our marriage... but now I remember that yesterday morning you gave me a sheet of paper with all the points we should have discussed... including the arrangement and management of James..." suddenly disoriented she raised his eyes snapping «… you wanted to leave me!»
"What?! No!" he immediately objected «Absolutely not. You wanted to do it."
"What?!" she looked at him annoyed.
«I…I was convinced that you wanted to put an end to our story. Therapy wasn't working and I felt you were increasingly distant and disappointed in me. Then that idiot architect got involved and there was that picnic that ended badly and James's birthday where I made all the guests run away... That's why I wrote that schedule, to make sure I didn't leave out any aspect .»
She looked down, sighing.
"Would you have just let me go…again?"
«Louisa, I couldn't force you to stay with me if you didn't want to.» he defended himself.
"No, I guess not." she concluded thoughtfully.
«What is it now? What did I say wrong?" he became worried.
«Nothing, Martin. However, I had decided that I didn't want to separate from you."
"Well." he saw her as perplexed, yet they had both confirmed that they did not want to leave each other. What was it that he missed? He took her hand and was reassured when she squeezed it.
«Louisa…we had made the same decision…don't be angry, please.»
"I'm not angry. Let's go up."
"Yes."
«Martin…» she turned again «I would like it to be clear to you that there was nothing between me and Danny. We were not and are not in contact. He still had my number and called me for advice. Of course, then his intentions turned out to be a little different, but… precisely… they were his, not mine. Whatever you think you saw or heard, as far as I'm concerned it was just politeness towards a person I know, nothing more."
He lowered his chin, assuming a sorry expression «I know. I believe you. I was… well… I guess… maybe I was just a little jealous… not really of that idiot, but… um… you could have any man and I always knew that sooner or later you would realize that I wasn't enough for you.»
Louisa placed a hand on his cheek, with a soft and encouraging look.
«Martin, I want you. I've wanted you since I met you. I don't care about any other man and please don't say you're not enough. It is not so."
He nodded with a nod.
«Come on or we won't end up here.» she urged.
The bedroom was even dingier than the rest of the house and then, it was so tidy, it seemed like no one lived there.
Martin took a suitcase out of the wardrobe, which Louisa began to fill with laundry while he went to the bathroom to collect his things.
«Martin, can you help me fold the sheets?»
He came back into the room and saw her holding two corners of the blanket on the bed.
"Yes, immediately."
He grabbed the other two corners, but she insisted on looking at him without moving. He looked up and realized that he was about to fall into her wonderful trap again.
"What is it, Louisa?" he cleared his throat.
"Nothing." she assured him with the most innocent expression she could muster. "I was wondering… what was this bed like? It's so short...and it looks uncomfortable."
"Actually, you don't sleep well there."
"Who knows if…"
"What."
«Maybe…»s he pulled the blanket hard to unbalance him a little… with little success.
"What are you doing?" he asked annoyed, but after a moment the annoyance was replaced by a smile and he pulled her towards him making her fall on the bed.
Taken by surprise by such initiative, she burst out laughing. Martin sat down to observe her smugly and when she calmed down, he lay down on his side next to her. He looked at her lovingly and placed his hand on her belly. She remained still without breathing, while he reached out to bring her closer to him and bent over her half-open mouth.
They remained silent for a while, on their stomachs... their fingers intertwined... still amazed at the intensity of the moment they had shared.
It was Martin who broke the silence.
"What did you do to me?" he had the tone of when he was expressing a medical doubt.
"Actually…if we want to…I rather wonder what you did to me…" Louisa was astounded at how he had brought her to that level of satisfaction. Not that it had ever been banal between them, on the contrary...
It had always been the only moment when Martin seemed to let go completely and become the most fiery and amorous of lovers. No matter how many misunderstandings and skirmishes there might have been between them, when they found themselves entwined, nothing seemed to matter anymore. All the pent-up passion and tenderness overflowed from him without any shyness or hesitation.
If she had to look for him and encourage him during the day, then in the evening she felt his hand slide between the sheets and towards her. He would turn on her side to look at her in silence and when she placed her hand on his, he would reach out and from that moment all he did with her was worship her. When they made love, he brought his face closer to hers, eyes in her eyes, never losing contact as it gradually became more overwhelming... and she surrendered to that blue so sweet and determined.
The first few times she couldn't believe that this corpulent, gruff and measured man in his gestures could turn out to be so kind, instinctive and ardent.
Then in the morning she wondered what happened to that Martin...
«No, I mean…what did you do to me? Before you I was just a man who kept himself busy with work... but now... I'm here... in a remote village in Cornwall begging for a look from you. I see you and I just want to touch you and have you…worse than a teenager full of hormones.
Unable to control myself…I break my own rules…all in the hope that you might love me…" he looked annoyed and Louisa resented…he always had to ruin everything with his cold analyses.
"I'm sorry to cause you so much inconvenience, Martin." she blurted out irritably, but he immediately turned his face towards her, with the most blissful and compliant expression she had ever seen on him.
«Well…not me.» he replied in a breath.
"Oh." His blue eyes stared at her adoringly and she immediately regretted having misrepresented his intentions.
"I don't want the life I had before…life without you…not after knowing what it means to be loved by you, Louisa."
She approached him and kissed him, placing her hand on his cheek.
"Really, Martin, I'll never leave again...I won't leave you under any circumstances."
"Well."
When his eyes became so sweet and needy, her heart ached. She kissed him again, as if to confirm her intentions, and she nestled in his arms.
«You know, Martin, I have understood something fundamental in these months of distance.»
"Yes?"
"I realized that I'd rather argue with you every day than feel bad without you for the rest of my life."
She watched him as a hint of a smile crossed his face and an expression of relief lit up his eyes.
"Were you sick without me?"
«Yes, Martin, I was very sick.»
«Well…I mean, no…I mean…»
Louisa smiled «I understand, love…I understand.»
He sighed with relief and held her tighter.
SEASON 8
After the strange experience of Martin's kidnapping, they resumed their normal lives in Portwenn.
Janice looked after James Henry while they were at work and in the evening they met at home, exchanging their impressions of the day just passed and preparing dinner.
They learned to live with each other's defects without entrenching themselves in their own positions, but trying to understand and come together.
Louisa tried to humor him without provoking him on topics and attitudes that she knew well would not change. She decided instead to work on it calmly and methodically, like a drop of water digging into a rock. She no longer pretended that he was normal, but she accepted him as he was. Sure, sometimes she still threw dirty looks to make him understand that he was exaggerating, but she also indulged in small affectionate gestures simply because she felt like it.
Martin began to be more active in that relationship. Reassured by his wife's promise that she would have stayed with him anyway, he slowly freed himself from his fear of making a mistake and adapted to that new reality that so much confusion and disorder created in the house. He made an effort to recognize Louisa's needs and try to satisfy them. He often wondered if something made her happy and if so he made sure she could have it. His first thought had become the well-being of his wife and his child.
Meanwhile he was still enchanted by observing Louisa when he thought she was not seen and marveled at his luck when she gave him one of her reassuring smiles.
If in private things settled into a peaceful daily life, it was often their jobs that created some bad mood.
Martin continued to fight his blood phobia with little success, while Louisa no longer felt satisfied with her job and wanted more time to spend with James.
Tired of all the bureaucracy introduced in recent times and the consequent monotony of the principal's job, she decided to go back to studying to become a childcare consultant. With the support of her husband, she left her job to devote herself fully to her studies and family.
Martin's hemophobia meanwhile worsened, to the point that he fainted at the sight of blood. Because of this new symptom, he was reported by a patient and asked to abstain from practicing the profession.
Brought to the attention of a commission, he was allowed to return to medical practice, as long as he agreed to be subjected to checks.
That summer Louisa proposed to Martin that the three of them go to Spain together for a couple of weeks. She felt the need to relax and recharge for the new adventure she had undertaken. She also thought that leaving Portwenn for a while would be good for her husband too and that James would have a lot of fun now that he was a little older. She also hoped that that trip would allow her and Martin to strengthen their relationship even more and...maybe...to take advantage of the romantic atmosphere of the place and the warm evening walks along the seafront...but she hadn't said anything about this to her husband.
She didn't have to insist much…Martin accepted after a brief reflection. So they left for Spain for the summer holidays.
Louisa was happy to see her mother again, with whom she had maintained telephone contact since her last trip. Eleanor had been very understanding after she sent her husband home the year before. She had comforted her, they had talked a lot and their relationship had benefited.
James, older, immediately fell in love with that cheerful and complicit grandmother. They spent a lot of time together, leaving their parents free to enjoy a little more intimacy.
Martin tried to be less abrupt. He sincerely enjoyed the fish dinners at Caleb's restaurant and his discreet company… he even tolerated his mother-in-law quite a bit. Every morning and late afternoon he took long swims to explore the coast and stay active. He kindly got involved in his son's games on the beach and taught him to swim. He felt satisfied with the effort that James put into it and was proud when he saw him floating for a few moments while he tried to reach him with awkward movements of his small limbs.
…and then Louisa. He enjoyed the time they spent together alone without interruptions... the walks hand in hand... the smiles she gave him... the moments observing mother and son... the quiet evenings under the gazebo... and the nights of love.
Louisa also appreciated those days with the family and the relaxed atmosphere of Villaricos. She thought about recent events and reinforced the decisions she had made about her future. She became very close to her mother, who actually seemed more mature than before, and she paid a lot of attention to her husband. She discovered a tender, intense enthusiasm towards him, perhaps due to gratitude for his efforts or perhaps to the love she felt... in any case she felt the need to be with him, to talk to him and take care of him like never before. He obviously remained an introverted man... at times distrustful and surly, but she had become aware of the influence she had over him and much more patient.
The fear of having found themselves one step away from definitively losing each other had united them firmly. They had become a family. They were husband and wife…and they loved each other.
She had been thinking about this idea since the day before…since she realized that she was really enjoying that holiday. James was happy... she got to spend time with her mother... and Martin was trying really hard not to ruin the atmosphere. This was the doubt... how much longer her husband would resist...
By now she knew him enough to know that he hated everything that was superfluous... and being there was certainly superfluous for him... and that he needed his habits and few people around... basically no one.
She watched him come out of the water with the child in his arms…imposing on his long legs. His severe blue eyes stood out against his slightly tanned complexion and his wet, slightly messy hair gave him a decidedly charming look. She unconsciously bit her lower lip and made a mental note to ruffle them at the first opportunity.
She grabbed the nearby towel and used it to wrap James up as he set him on the floor. She made him sit in front of her and hugged him, kissing his little blonde head and causing him to laugh.
At that moment his mother, who had been helping Caleb, arrived. The child freed himself from her and ran towards her and Eleanor offered him an ice cream, provided her parents agreed. Louisa smiled and nodded at her.
Once we were alone, she waited for Martin to sit down.
"I have something to ask you." she said in one breath.
He looked at her expectantly…he didn't seem worried.
«Well… it's just a proposal… I realize that these situations are not your strong point and you can say no, but… I thought…»
"Louisa." he encouraged her.
«How about extending the holiday?» she prepared to receive a resounding "no", a grunt, an annoyed gesture... instead he remained silent.
«You see…our son is having fun, I think the sea air is good for him and he has the chance to get to know his grandmother better. Also it is very pleasant here… I like coming to the beach every day, I like the atmosphere and I like this heat and… I know it's the opposite for you, but… »
"How long?" he inquired calmly.
"I was thinking for another week?" she ventured awed.
«Louisa…I only arranged to be away from the surgery for two weeks.»
"It is true. Well… if you can't… never mind, we'll go home as planned.» she confirmed resignedly.
Martin looked towards the horizon. He told himself that after all she wasn't asking him something impossible... after the vicissitudes of the last few years, her wife deserved some rest in a quiet place. The question was whether he would resist.
«Mhm…If I told you no, would you still stay here with James?»
She gave him a frown, but immediately regretted it. After all, based on how she had behaved until recently, he was right to think so.
"No. It won't change anything. I won't get angry and send you away. It's an idea that came to me and you are free to refuse. If you don't like it...if you think you're not being fair to your patients...if you're just fed up...I understand."
«Maybe…you could stay here with the baby, while I go back to work.» he thought maybe his wife was asking him for some space.
"No." she immediately shook her head «No, Martin. Either all three of us stay or all three of us leave." she seemed very confident.
«I don't want to stay here alone... I would miss you too much and I wouldn't have fun anymore.» she added in a whisper.
Martin was surprised by that admission…Louisa wanted him there with her. His expression softened as he reflected on how little it took to make her happy. He didn't want to disappoint her and he didn't want her to give up anything about herself because of him, she deserved everything he could give her. Ultimately it was about more swims, time spent with his son, warm evening walks and long moments alone with Louisa.
"We're staying." he graciously agreed.
She looked at him in amazement.
"Are you sure? Don't you want to think about it for a while?"
«No, I'm sure. Let's stay." he repeated resolutely «Before dinner I will call Morwenna to arrange the appointments. I'm sure she won't mind a few more days off."
Louisa reached out to squeeze his arm. He thought he made her happy and it made him feel good.
"Thank you, Martin. It means so much to me."
"Yes." accompanied by two round and sweet eyes, it was a "yes" that moved her enormously. He was trying really hard to make their marriage work. Every day she saw him struggle with his own patterns… and he did it for her. She hoped in her heart that she would be able to reciprocate all of her love for him.
"Daddy!"
James threw himself running against his back interrupting them.
"Waterfall!" he wanted to take a bath.
«It's almost time for dinner and we need to get ready to go home, honey. No more baths today." her mother warned him.
Louisa noticed that half of her face was covered in ice cream. She dampened a towel and ran it around his mouth and hands to clean him.
"Please…"
Martin turned around a little annoyed and pointed to something sticky that he felt on his back.
"I think James did me dirty too."
"Definitely yes." confirmed his wife.
She carefully rubbed the stains of melted ice cream and made another note... it was essential that she stopped to kiss those broad shoulders as soon as possible.