For three blissful weeks, the kindling that was the beginning of Tommy and Sophie's romantic relationship caught fire and started to burn.
Tommy was busy, but never too busy to walk Sophie to Princess' stable or call her into his office to kiss her quickly and tell her how beautiful she looked that day. In front of his brothers and the rest of the Blinders, he merely acted as if he was gradually warming to Sophie's presence, but never did anything to suggest more than indifference.
But in stolen moments alone together, they started to open up to one another. Tommy let his guard down and Sophie started to fill in bits and pieces of her life in London for him. There was never enough time, particularly because they spent most of it with Sophie coaxing Tommy for so much more than just their quick, heated kisses.
He refused her each time, and each time it was harder to pull himself away from her and look at her flushed cheeks and swollen lips and not give into what he so desperately wanted. They needed more time and more privacy than they currently had.
If he was being honest with himself, it wasn't just those factors that had stopped Tommy from having Sophie in every way that he wanted her. It was his conscience.
And his conscience was starting to sound like it had fragmented into many different pieces.
She's too young. She's too good for you. For all of us. That sounded like John.
Do you even have it in you to love someone, Thomas? To give her what she deserves? Polly's pessimism rang in his ears.
One day she'll see the man you are. All you've done. All you've left to do. What then? Tommy's self-doubts were still the loudest of them all.
He knew he should do the right thing and end it with Sophie before it got too far. But how could he when it was so far from what he wanted? What they wanted?
Tommy had thought himself in love with Greta, a girl he had been with shortly before Sophie had arrived in Small Heath the first time. But Greta had tragically died of consumption, with him by her bedside, and the love that he had placed all his hopes on died with her. There had been women since, but nothing close to what he felt for Greta. It was only sex and comfort and distraction.
He had deeply cared for Sophie, the young orphan who had walked into his life five years ago, but now, his feelings for her were so much deeper than what he had felt for Greta. He was a reasonable man and knew that he would feel this way again. He just hadn't expected the ferocity of the feelings Sophie would ignite in him. He had assumed one day he would find a good woman, marry her, have a few children. That there would be mutual care and trust.
He hadn't anticipated this much desire.
So he knew having sex with Sophie wouldn't be a simple affair. He needed to make a decision, and he only had two days in which to do it.
~o0o~
"That's a pretty dress." Grace offered the compliment after stepping into the Shelby offices and seeing Sophie sitting at her desk, deep in thought.
"Oh? Grace, thank you." Sophie looked up at her, "Are you alright?"
Grace didn't feel alright. She kept her hands clenched around the handle of her small black purse, "Um, is Tommy here?"
"He's out." Sophie eyed her with concern and Grace wondered if she looked as harrowed as she felt.
"Can you tell him that I finished his errand, whenever he gets back?"
" 'Course. Would you like some tea?" Sophie asked and Grace could tell it likely wasn't what she wanted to say, but she was too kind of a girl not to extend the invitation. Grace nodded and Sophie promised she'd be right back with some, slipping through the double doors that separated the offices from the Shelby home.
Grace sank into a chair and was thankful for the moment alone to breath.
She had done what Tommy had asked of her, met a man and given him a letter. She had no idea of its contents, but she also didn't recognize the man she met with as a regular contact of Tommy's and decided to follow him.
That had been her first mistake.
After two hours, most of which found Grace waiting near a pub that the man had went into, and a very long walk into the city, he finally led her to the letter's intended destination.
The figure of Ada Shelby was unmistakable, even though she was now swollen with child. Freddie's presumably. She met with the man outside of a three-story building that likely contained a number of small flats, took the letter, and then disappeared back inside. Grace tried her best to remember the building to tell Campbell, knowing a discovery like this would get her back into favor with him. No doubt Freddie Thorne was living with her or nearby.
Far enough outside of Small Heath, but still right under all of their noses. Clever.
But Grace clearly hadn't hidden herself well, as when she tried to find her way back, the man caught up to her and accused her of exactly what she had been doing. There was liquor on his breath, and he called her all sorts of foul names before dragging her roughly into a nearby alley.
Reaching for the small pistol she kept in her purse was her second mistake.
Pulling the trigger had been the third.
The city was loud, and she knew no one would think much of the gunshot. She watched the man die right before her eyes and was left covered in his blood. Grace knew it had been nothing short of a miracle that she had made it back to her flat without incident, her head on a swivel the entire time to make sure she saw no one related to the Blinders.
But she didn't know everyone on their payroll. Thankfully her purse, when held in just the right way, masked most of the blood stain on her dress.
Grace had washed her hands until they were raw, changed her dress, and tried to compose herself. She would either get away with it, or she'd blow everything she and Campbell had worked for the past few months.
Her hands were still shaking when Sophie came back in the room with a small tray and two mismatched teacups.
"I don't know if I can help, but I can try," Sophie continued before putting her cup to her lips, clearly sensing the myriad of things on Grace's mind.
"It's just been a long morning. My beau and I..." Grace tried her best to concoct a story quickly while also trying to endear Sophie to her. After seeing how clear Sophie's feelings were for Tommy, she assumed that making herself seem non-threatening would be ideal.
" Oh. Did he hurt you?"
"No, no." Grace shook her head, "Just a silly fight." Grace took a sip of her tea as well and tried her best to relax in Sophie's presence. Even though the woman in front of her was younger than she was, she carried the presence of someone far more mature, "Thank you for this, Sophie. It's nice to talk to another woman for once."
"They seem to be few and far between in Small Heath, don't they?" Sophie smiled.
~o0o~
Thank God Esme Lee was pretty. Tommy knew the ease of the night was in no small part due to how the woman looked. He had suspected his brother might not cow to his plan of uniting the Shelbys with the Lees this way, but all John had to do was take one look at his bride-to-be and he seemed to forget any ire he had for his older brother for springing a marriage onto him.
It had been a risk, Tommy knew, going to Zilpha Lee. But he had to put an end to the war with her family. Sophie had been almost caught in the fallout of it multiple times and that alone was enough to convince Tommy to flip on Kimber. With the Lees now family, he would have the men to make a takeover possible.
And John was in desperately in need of something to stick his cock into, Tommy knew. A new wife would keep his brother happy, occupied, and would offer the entire family some protection in the process.
Tommy looked around the celebration, pleased with himself. The entirety of Uncle Charlie's yard was filled with his kin celebrating, dancing, and drinking. Even Polly seemed to be enjoying herself, after she had finished dressing him down about how the marriage had been yet another change of plans she wasn't privy to.
And then there was Ada. He watched her and Sophie dancing, wanting to give the two some time together, for Sophie's sake more than anything.
His sister had shown up late to the wedding, but he had been split on if she'd come in the first place. She caught Johnny Dog's sorry attempt at officiating and then had pulled Sophie away, pretending that he hadn't even existed. He deserved it, he knew.
She was showing, the loose style of her blue dress couldn't conceal it, but that wasn't the only thing Tommy wanted to talk to his sister about. He had found out a few hours prior that the man who had delivered Ada's invitation had been found dead in an alley near the outskirts of the city. After questioning his men and Grace, it seemed there was no explanation outside of a drunken fight gone wrong. No one had seen anything beyond him stopping into a pub for a few drinks.
Yet it didn't sit right with Tommy. His paranoia was getting the better of him lately.
"Ada." Tommy called to his sister when John pulled Sophie away from her and into a dance.
"Yes, brother?" She walked over to him, her eyes following the fireworks some of the Lees were setting off across the yard in an attempt to not look at him directly.
"How are you feeling?" He stuck his hands into his trouser pockets when she moved to stand next to them, both watching the circle of revelers dancing by the bonfire.
"Don't pretend to care." Ada snapped at him, her palms spread over her growing belly, protectively, "How did you find me?"
"The coppers don't know and I won't be telling them. If that's your concern," Tommy kept his eyes on Sophie, who was weaving in and out of a giggling mess of Esme's younger sisters.
"Answer me."
"The man who gave you my letter is dead. Found him not far from your place. Did you see anything?" He continued.
"No." There was concern in her voice.
"I'm going to send one of my boys back with you and I suggest you and Freddie find someplace new. Tell me or don't tell me where it is, it doesn't matter." Tommy warned her. He would find her sooner or later. All he cared about was that his little sister and unborn nephew didn't end up dead. Despite what she thought of him, he had a heart.
But he could care less about Freddie.
" So selfless, Tommy." She finally turned to him but he kept his eyes locked on the chaos around the yard, "But you won't be getting anything from me."
He shook his head, unsurprised that their relationship had devolved into something so transactional, "I don't want anything from you, Ada. I wanted you to see your brother get married, have you spend some time with us, and then go back to the Communist life you are leading."
"Is that all then?" Ada laughed, torn so unexpectedly from her throat that it caught them both off guard. And then she told him that she was ready to go home.
It was what he hoped she would say and he made sure she was sent off in a car with a Blinder. And then he was left free to do what he wanted with his evening, which no longer included taking part in John's makeshift wedding reception.
~o0o~
Every time she did something to make her name leave his lips, Sophie thought it a triumph. It became her sole goal to make his cool facade crack as she straddled Tommy on the bench seat of his Model T. She didn't know everything, but she was learning quickly, and each time she was alone with him was a lesson in what he liked and what set every nerve in her own body on fire.
Although, to her, anytime his fingertips so much as grazed against her skin felt like a complete assault on all her senses.
" Soph ..." he breathed against her neck as she kissed up his. In the middle of celebrating John and Esme's wedding, Tommy had found her and suggested they go somewhere else. It had taken no convincing. All she wanted to do was be alone with him and there never seemed to be enough time to do so. It was even easier to sneak away than she thought.
They ended up parking right in front of the Shelby family home, the last place anyone would be for hours, and she had found her way into his lap before he could protest.
"Tommy, take me inside?" she asked, fingers splayed out over his half-unbuttoned shirt. She had pulled away from kissing him to ask for what she wanted as confidently as she could manage. There was an intensity in his blue eyes as they looked over her that made her entire body rigid with the most delicious anticipation. She had no idea what to expect and yet she craved every inch of him.
"Not tonight." He reached up to touch her hair, drag his fingers off her shoulder and down her arm to touch the bracelet he had given her. She wriggled against him when he rejected her, feeling his hardness between her thighs that contradicted his words.
"Is there some fault with me that I don't know about?" She asked, her entire body on edge from being so close to him and being denied more, "Some reason you keep saying no?"
"There could never be any fault with you. You're perfect, Sophie. It's me." He told her, placing his hands on her hips and gently easing her off him. She gasped when their bodies broke contact and the warmth of him against her was gone, "I've been selfish like I always have with you. Because I want you more than I have words to express. And at the most inopportune times, I'm reminded that I'm no better than the devil himself."
He opened the car door and stepped onto the street and she reluctantly followed, pushing down her dress.
"You don't have to be so gentle with me, Tommy. I know what I'm doing." She told him.
"I know. That's what I'm most afraid of." He watched her open the door in the same way he had the night they had first kissed, "I want you to get into your bed and I want you to think of me. And decide if you really want me, the man I am now."
" Tommy ..."
"Sophie. I've already made up my mind about you. But you asked me not long ago if you had any say in this. This is your say." He looked more serious than she had ever seen him, standing so close to her in the doorway, "You need to be sure. So, think on it. And if you decide to ask me for this again, then next time I won't say no."
All Sophie could do was nod as he kissed her goodnight and she closed the door. She waited until she heard his car drive off before heading up to her room. She briefly checked in on the teenager, Maisie, Scudboat's younger sister tasked with watching John's children while they were all away and found her asleep in the room with them.
She figured it would do no harm to let her rest and as she walked to her room and started to undress, she thought about how the children now had a new mother. Would Esme take to them? Would they like her? Where did that leave Sophie?
She felt constantly in a tug-of-war between being needed and pushed away and then pulled back in with everyone. Especially Tommy.
She laid in bed for what seemed like an hour praying for sleep that never came. All she could think of was Tommy's hands gripping her thighs and how needy their kisses had been in his car. He was there behind her eyelids, a reminder of what she only half had.
And then a thought occurred to her. Tommy Shelby pushed her to think all manner of irrational thoughts, but she was sure this was her worst yet.
She was sure. So very sure.
She didn't need to spend another night with only her fingers as a substitute for what she really wanted. She didn't need to pretend that he hadn't captured the entirety of her very soul. What was the point?
His smile, his determination, his loyalty, his love...
His secrets, his demons, his lies...
She repeated everything she loved and hated about Tommy Shelby, like a prayer, over and over as she grabbed her coat and left the house. She walked alone down Watery Lane in the middle of the night like a fool, repeating her mantra until it all bled together. She couldn't separate the good from the bad and she didn't want to.
There was no going back.
She raised her small hand to knock on Tommy's door. It only took a second for him to open it, and he stared at her, wide-eyed, his suspenders hanging down and his white shirt untucked.
She saw the anger in his eyes that told her he hated that she had walked there alone, the deep concern that something was wrong, and beneath that, the hunger for her, which solidified her conviction to say, "I'm asking you again, Tommy."