A/N — since we *all* know how I feel about Season 5, I will simply say that this is my effort to figure out what could have happened to cause Danny to leave home and stop seeing Frankie, and also result in Kara taking off her wedding ring, while not completely closing the door on their marriage. I originally wrote this in 2020 and it's been posted as-is without re-watching season 5 because, well, I need to keep my sanity. The inspiration for this story was James Arthur's song "Say You Won't Let Go" and the chapter titles are based on the lyrics to the story.
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Chapter 1: I met you in the dark, You lit me up, You made me feel as though I was enough
Setting: Mayport, Florida
Timing: Six Months Before Season 5
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Kara juggled her briefcase and the bag of groceries as she jammed her key into the lock, wondering what the hell was going on inside her house. She could hear the fire alarm blaring from the moment she drove into the garage, but Danny wasn't responding to her calls. Which, she supposed, wasn't surprising given the damn noise. Finally getting the door open, she dumped everything on the floor and raced down the hall to the kitchen, quickly determining that the source of the smoke rolling into the kitchen was the pot on the stove. Danny must have been cooking something, but Kara had no idea what based on the burnt sludge that now coated the pot.
Grabbing a towel, she deposited the entire thing in the sink to be dealt with later and started to throw open windows. After what felt like an eternity, the wailing finally stopped and Kara took a deep, calming breath.
"Danny? Frankie?"
A strange silence hung in the air, and her tension immediately returned. Cursing, Kara realized that her gun was in her bag by the front door. At a shuffling sound from the pantry, Kara flattened herself against the wall, only to be greeted by the sight of her four-year-old shuffling out of the pantry, eyes filled with tears as he dragged his blanket, hand filled with the chocolate bars that Kara kept hidden for "emergencies." Halsey followed him, eyes pinned on Kara.
"Mommy!" Frankie shouted, dashing towards her.
Kara grabbed him, hugging the child to her as she retreated into the front hallway to retrieve her Glock. Instead of following, Halsey moved towards the door to the back porch, lying down before the door with his head on his paws. "Frankie, where's Daddy?"
"Daddy got sick," Frankie mumbled, thumb in mouth. "Daddy said Frankie and Halsey needed to stay in the pantry."
Staring at Halsey, Kara flipped open her phone, quickly pressing Alisha's number. As soon as the call was answered, Kara spoke quickly, without waiting for so much as a greeting. "I need someone to come get Frankie. I think Danny might have had a ... an episode but I need someone to come get Frankie."
Alisha didn't hesitate. "I'm on my way. You want me to get Carlton?"
"Yeah, if you can." Kara wrapped Frankie in a blanket but didn't bother with shoes. Alisha had plenty of stuff at her house from the numerous times that Alisha had watched the preschooler. More importantly was getting Frankie out of the house before he saw his father — saw more of his father in this state. Kara headed to the sidewalk and, within minutes, could see the approaching vehicle.
Carlton arrived first, climbing out of his truck. "You know what happened?"
Kara shook her head in the negative. "The fire alarm was going off when I got home so maybe that? I'm not even sure that he's here but Halsey is waiting at the door to the back porch so..."
Carlton nodded as she trailed off. "You want me to check?"
As much as Kara wanted to take him up on the offer, wanted to wait here on the sidewalk and let Carlton be the one to find Danny, to avoid seeing the torment in his eyes, Kara shook her head. "Once Alisha gets here we can both go talk to him."
Less than a minute passed before Alisha arrived and Kara tucked Frankie into the carseat that Alisha must have installed before arriving, explaining the delay. The child cried when Kara gave him a kiss on the forehead and closed the door, and Kara felt her heart being ripped from her body. Once again she was being forced to choose between her husband and child, and once again Frankie was the loser. Kara shook off the thought. Keeping Danny healthy was the best thing that she could do for her son. She had to remember that.
Alisha gave Kara a quick hug before climbing back in the car. "He'll be fine. Kelsi's coming over and we are going to order pizza. If you want him to sleep over, just let me know."
"Thanks, Lish," Kara replied softly. Lord knows what she would do without Alisha to help. As much as Kara loved her mother, Debbie would fall to pieces if Kara called her under these circumstances. And then Kara would be faced with three people to handle rather than two. She turned to Carlton. "It's been about twenty minutes since I turned off the alarm. Hopefully that helped."
Re-entering the house, Kara stashed her gun in the drawer and locked it with the key she kept around her neck. She glanced at Carlton, no need to ask the question. "I left it in the truck."
They approached Halsey carefully. As the incidents, as Kara had taken to calling them, became more frequent, the dog had become more unpredictable, confused by the scenarios for which he had no training, torn between staying with Danny and protecting Kara and Frankie. Kara knelt before him. "Good dog. Good puppy. You kept him safe. You kept them both safe."
Apparently reassured by her words, Halsey moved to the side, allowing Carlton to swing the door open. "Danny? It's Kara and Carlton. Okay for us to come out?"
There was no response, not that Kara expected one. She didn't try turning on the overhead light as they walked onto the porch that Danny enclosed when they first moved to this house, back when they talked about picnics and spending evenings sipping tea on the swing while Frankie slept.
"Danny?" she tried again.
"Kara?"
At the sound of his voice, Kara released the breath that she was holding. Danny was sitting on the floor behind the swing, his back wedged into the corner. A defendable position, as Danny once explained when she asked why he retreated here. "Yes, it's me and Carlton."
"Hey buddy. Just came by to say hi."
Both kept their voices low, calm, just as the therapist that Kara saw on the sly recommended. "Frankie is with Alisha. Halsey did such a good job watching him. Although we might need to buy a new supply of chocolate. Pretty sure that between the two of them they ate my entire stash."
Halsey wouldn't have touched the chocolate, which was on the forbidden list, but Kara didn't mention that. Hell, the point wasn't to say anything important but just so Danny knew that she was approaching. So she didn't trigger him again.
"I was thinking we should all get haircuts tomorrow," Carlton added. "Frankie's hair is getting a little long and we wouldn't want someone to think that he's a hippie."
"If Mom has her way he'll never get a haircut," Kara said. She reached the swing, sinking to the ground within reach of Danny. Waiting for him to make the next move. "She said something about the surfer look. As though that was a thing in Kansas."
Danny's hand stretched out until their hands connected, his grasping hers so tightly that it hurt. "I'm sorry."
Kara forced a smile. "Nothing to be sorry about."
Danny glanced between Carlton and Kara. "Think I could have a moment with Burk, sweetheart?"
As much as she was expecting this, Kara couldn't help the rejection. Forcing herself not to react, she nodded. As if Danny was asking for some time to game with the boys. "Of course. You boys have fun."
Rising, moving slowly so as to avoid creating any further problems, Kara moved towards the house. She could hear Carlton speaking to Danny, his voice low and calm, but she couldn't focus on the words. It was all she could do to get herself out of the porch without collapsing. Closing the door behind her, Kara sank to the floor next to Halsey, tears sliding silently down her cheeks. The first time this happened, she blamed the combination of factors. The second time, she approached the counselor who Alisha recommended for suggestions. By the third time, she was forced to face the reality that Danny needed more help that she or Carlton could provide. But until Danny was ready, there was little that she could do. Still, tonight was the first time that Frankie was alone with Danny when it happened. And Kara knew that this changed everything. Because she would never forgive herself if something happened to Frankie. And Danny...well, lord knows what Danny would do but Kara could not imagine that he would react well to the knowledge that he put his son in danger.
She wasn't sure how long she sat there before she was able to pull herself from the floor and gather the groceries that she purchased earlier. Perhaps if she hadn't stopped, wanting to pick up those damn avocados for the barbeque this weekend, then none of this would have happened. Maybe then she would have been home before the fire alarm went off and she could have headed things off before they got so bad. But as Kara picked through the groceries, determining what could be salvaged and what needed to be trashed, she knew that what they were doing was only a placeholder. Danny needed more.
If only he could admit it.
Kara put away the groceries that could be salvaged and texted Alisha, then sat down to drink a cup of coffee while she waited for Carlton. Forty-five minutes later, Carlton appeared in the kitchen. Kara glanced up as he approached, pouring himself a mug and settling across the table. "He's asleep now."
Kara nodded. Danny was no doubt exhausted and would sleep until morning. Oddly, the only time he slept well any more was when he reached an emotional breaking point, spending other nights tossing and turning, the nightmares almost constant.
"He needs help, Carlton." Kara hated the way that her voice cracked. "What we're doing...it's not working."
"I know." Carlton didn't pretend to sugarcoat the situation.
"I need you to talk to him," Kara pressed. "He listens to you. More than me anyway."
Carlton looked uncomfortable. "Kara, that's not it. He just doesn't want to let you down. You know that."
She shook her head, not willing to engage in that argument again. Not tonight when she was already so drained. "Will you talk to him?" Kara knew that she was begging, but she didn't know what else to do. There was only so long that she could make this work. Only so long that she could walk the fine line between work and family, between husband and son, before everything collapsed. "Please."
Carlton was silent for a long time. "I'll try."
