Mid April. 6 months since THAT Wednesday

Brennan finished tying her running shoes, grabbed her water bottle, and headed down to her car. She was finally getting out for her first run of the spring and was looking forward to the endorphin rush that running gave her. There was just no substitute in the gym for the feeling of getting out in the open, breathing the fresh air, and taking in the views. It didn't matter if she was running in her favorite wooded park or along the National Mall. Each location gave her a different feel: her feet, her eyes, her senses. She loved the fact that she had two such appealing options and chose where to aim her car each time based on her mood. Today it would be the park because she was anxious to see what surprises awaited her among the spring blooms. She was a little late this year moving from the gym to the outdoors, and she hadn't been able to pinpoint the reason for her reluctance. She began to suspect it might be that she was worried about running into Booth on her runs. Staying in the gym was safe because he had his own gym at FBI Headquarters. In the past they had sometimes run together, so he knew her favorite running spots. But that was silly. It had been six months now and he had never tried to contact her, so what made her think he might try now? Her friends either had not heard from him or they were careful to avoid mentioning that they had, so she had to assume that things with Booth and Hannah were humming along. Running past a flower bed with dozens of flowers beginning to bloom, she decided she would stop at her favorite florist on the way home to pick up a bouquet to brighten her apartment. Florists. Weddings. Why would her brain take her there time after time? With the exception of their time separated in Afghanistan and Indonesia, the longest they had ever been apart was two weeks on several occasions when one or both took vacations (or in her case, expeditions). But not talking to or seeing Booth now for six months was starting to feel excruciating. She knew she had to stay strong because she couldn't let herself fall back into that life of watching Booth and Hannah in love and making plans for their future together. As his work partner, it was like sitting in the front row of a theatre watching their love story on the stage. Maybe if she was watching from a distance it wouldn't be so hard? Like maybe taking a seat in the last row? No. She just needed to leave the theatre altogether. She would know that it was continuing in her absence, but it was just too painful to watch.

The thought of weddings popping into her head had been happening often in the last month. Booth and Hannah had been together now for over a year, and knowing Booth as well as she did, she would not be surprised to find out that they were headed toward marriage. In fact, for all she knew, they could already be married. That was something her friends would keep from her if they knew. For the last few months, she had tried to hide the grief she was feeling at the loss of her partner, friend, potential lover(?). It took several months for that grief to kick in because the anger at him took that long to dissipate. But the anger did fade eventually. How could she blame them for wanting to get on with their lives without her constant presence? Booth had said he was in love with her. She told him that she had made a mistake by turning him down. For most of her life, Brennan believed that love was merely a chemical reaction in the brain. But for years, Booth had tried to teach her that it was far more than that, and she was beginning to understand what he meant. She loved him. And, looking back, she realized that she has loved him for a long time. It's just that she's now able to step back and examine those feelings from afar. Isn't there a saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? She thinks that's not quite true, but that it's more that absence reveals what the heart has been feeling (or hiding?). It's like being too close to an object to really see it. These last six months have given her the time to discover those feelings and the space to really examine them without the all encompassing presence that is Seeley Booth. But the revelation to her of those feelings for him has just strengthened the decision to totally remove herself from his orbit. That decision was made in anger, but the resolve to stick by it is purely self preservation.

As she finished her run, two phrases ran over and over in her mind like a mantra. 'I miss him.' 'Hanna is a lucky woman.'

At the same time on that beautiful spring Saturday morning, Booth was in the gym. He'd been wanting to get out and run in the fresh spring air for weeks now, but he was afraid he would take the wrong route and run into Bones, who would surely be taking advantage of the refreshing spring temperatures. It's not that he didn't want to see her. He wanted so badly to see her. But he essentially made a promise to her, and after his treatment of her six months ago, he owed her that. And, let's face it. Seeing her would be too painful for a myriad of reasons. He still loves her. That was clear to him even when he was with Hannah. He just didn't want to admit it to himself because he was determined to have the life he desired - and Bones had been clear that it couldn't be with her. She had eventually expressed her regret, but because of the terrible way he handled the partnership switch, he couldn't see her ever forgiving him. It was a bad breakup, and he didn't see them ever recovering from that. And what if he spied her across the park and she was with someone? It was just too painful to take that chance, so he would do everything he could to abide by her wishes.

But he was single now. He was surprised at how quickly he recovered from Hannah's departure from his life. He moped around for a few weeks, spent another few weeks telling himself it was time to pick himself back up, and by the time February rolled around it was like she had never been there. That told him a lot. He thought he was in love with Hannah, but you don't just fall out of love in a matter of weeks. And it told him even more, because he was still in love with Bones. It had been six months since the last time he saw her and she still occupied his thoughts a decent percentage of the day. Luckily, work kept him busy. He always knew how valuable Bones was to him as a work partner, but once he was on his own he understood just how much of the burden she had shouldered. He could have asked for another partner, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Anyway, since Hannah had left, he appreciated the fact that he could throw himself into his work and arrive home each night so exhausted that he fell into bed and got up the next morning ready to do it all again. Less time for thinking. A few times a week he went in early for a session in the gym and spent most Saturday mornings there too. Weekends were filled with gym, church, Parker, and watching sporting events. It was a good and full life. Yeah, that's what he told himself.