Part 2 – The Earl, Viscount and I

Stephanie Tide was used to being everyone's friend. She got on well with all of the other girls and was well enough liked by the gentlemen, but not in the way she would have liked. For they all saw her as their friend and nothing more, as if some invisible barrier had been put in place. Perhaps it was because she wasn't as flirtatious and charming as someone like Savannah Lustwick. She obviously couldn't catch their eyes in the same way. Instead, her first season out she had been somewhat of a wallflower, too shy to put herself out there. Of course, it didn't help when her brother was her chaperone and he refused to introduce her to anyone.

If she could not escape her family through marriage, then she supposed she would have to look for other ways to support herself – find a job or the like. Because living with her family forever was not something that she thought she could endure.

ooOoo

Steff had always dreamed of the elegant balls and gowns and other things associated with the social scene of London. Her books had always painted it as a dreamy affair, and the romances involved always swept the heroines off their feet. After her first season out however, she was beginning to realise it wasn't so easy and magical. In any case, her gaze still wandered the ballroom in awe, taking in the large chandeliers dangling gracefully from the ceiling, and the tables decorated with candles and a white lace tablecloth off to the side with the drinks. The dancers were mesmerising to watch as well, as they spun around the floor, wrapped up in the music. If only she could join them. Of course, Savannah had offered her the chance to dance with her brother already, but it felt more like an offer out of pity, rather than anything else, and besides, he was already in the middle of courting someone.

So instead, she sipped on a glass of lemonade, watching the dancers from off to the side. She'd lost sight of her brother which was a relief, as it meant she could relax and just take in her surroundings.

She didn't have to spend too long by herself however, before Rose came back to rejoin her. Her eyes were alight and glistening with excitement, and Steff couldn't help but smile in return, feeling happy for her friend.

"Did you see me, Steff?" she asked, unable to contain her enthusiasm. It was something that Steff had always loved about her. "I got to dance with the Duke."

"I saw," Steff replied, meeting her gaze. "You were very graceful," she complimented. The Duke on the other hand had seemed a little rusty, but she wasn't about to say that aloud. "And it looked like you had a great time. I'm so happy for you, Rose."

Rose beamed. "Do you think he might call on me tomorrow?"

"I don't know him well of course, so I wouldn't presume anything, but you should prepare for it just in case," Steff said, not wanting to discourage her enthusiasm in any way.

"Ooh," Rose practically squealed, before looking a little embarrassed and quieting. "I would just love that. Imagine the Duke, calling on me, of all people." She straightened at another thought. "Do you think Lady Whistledown might mention it in her column as well?"

Steff pondered over the thought. "I don't see why not. After all – it was the Duke's first dance of the season."

Rose's cheeks were flushed and she looked like she might burst from the excitement. "That would be so amazing. After all, a mention from Lady Whistledown, and one gets talked about." As if suddenly realising something, Rose hesitated. "Oh… I'm sorry, Steff. I don't mean to get overexcited. I know you haven't had the chance to dance with anyone yet."

"It's fine Rose, really," she said, not wanting to dampen her friend's excitement in any way. "I'm just happy for you. And thank you again for the dress," she added on the end, looking down at the cheery yellow colour of her dress, the sleeves puffing out in the latest fashion. While Rose's taste was a bit more flashy than her own – she had always preferred more simple yet elegant dresses - she was lucky that her friend was a similar height to her so they could share clothes. They were both a bit shorter than the other girls. They were however a little different in build – Rose was tiny in size, as well as her bust smaller and her hips almost non-existent. Steff was a little more curvy and fuller in the chest, but luckily she was able to make any adjustments to the dresses that were needed herself, having picked up a number of skills that came in useful when one didn't always have a maid. In any case, Steff herself didn't have any new dresses – that had stopped towards the end of last season when her father's gambling debt had amassed, and her allowance for clothes was one of the first to go. Rose being the good friend that she was had picked up on it, and had offered to lend Steff any of her dresses, even the ones she'd only worn once.

"Oh, it's no worry at all," Rose replied, lowering her voice. "You know you're welcome to any of my clothes."

"Thank you, Rose. It's really kind of you to help me out like this," Steff replied, still feeling bad over the fact that she'd needed to ask for her help at all. Usually, she could keep her problems more contained so they wouldn't spill out into her social life.

Rose was about to say something else, but she straightened, becoming more poised and lady-like as her mother came over, giving a small nod to Steff, which she quickly returned. "Rose Blacktree," she said, reaching out with her fan to prod her daughter lightly. "I know you like to socialise with your friends, but now is hardly the time. I've lined up another young gentleman for you to dance with. Come along now."

Rose gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry, Steff. I'll talk to you later. I promise!"

Steff gave her a smile and gestured for her to head to the dance floor. "Of course. And I want to hear all about it, if anyone does come calling tomorrow."

"You'll be the first to know," Rose promised with a grin, before she started away, obediently following her mother.

Steff pushed down a slight pang as she watched. She'd never had a mother who tried so hard for her like that. To find her a husband, or otherwise. But she was used to it, and she soon turned away.

ooOoo

As usual, Connor and his brother, Cadyn, hung around the lemonade table. They were forced to go to the social events this season to please their parents, but that didn't mean that they had to go out of their way to participate. They preferred to watch the proceedings smugly, whispering about their opinions of the other attendees – both the young ladies and the gentlemen.

"The Duke looks utterly miserable," Cadyn commented, gesturing with his glass over towards him, where the swarms of ladies and their mothers accosted him.

Connor chuckled under his breath. "As anyone in that kind of position should look."

"I'm just glad I don't need to worry about that kind of thing. It's not like our parents can force me to marry. You on the other hand…" he said, glancing over at Connor.

"Don't rub it in," he said, rolling his eyes. They were twins, so it was utterly ridiculous, but since Connor had been born mere minutes earlier, he was technically the oldest. That of course meant he was to inherit his father's title of an Earl, and his house. Cadyn on the other hand would be deemed the youngest, and would therefore still get a decent monetary inheritance, but without all the rest. In any case, they had made a promise that they'd both live in the family house together, regardless of the customs. They had been inseparable since birth, and that was hardly going to change. In fact, they used to joke about swapping places in the future when they felt like it, which was an enticing idea, if it meant he could escape some of his future responsibilities. It wouldn't be hard, considering at the moment, they often pretended to be each other, the fact that they were identical making it rather easy. Sometimes, even their parents couldn't tell them apart. But the one person who always could… His gaze moved to the side, spotting a glimpse of Steff talking to Miss Blacktree. She'd been friends with them for a long while, and she seemed to have some kind of knack of being able to pick it.

He was drawn from his thoughts when Cadyn elbowed him, nodding towards Lady Lustwick. "She hasn't stopped dancing all night. You'd think she'd get sick of it."

Now there was a lady he'd never go for himself. She was much too ambitious and cunning, he'd always sensed, while he and his brother preferred to stay far away from any kind of political debate that they had little interest in. "I doubt she'll stop until she gets whatever – or whoever – she wants," Connor remarked. Just because her personality didn't interest him, didn't mean he couldn't appreciate her looks. While his brother might have had little interest in women, he certainly wasn't blind, himself.

"Lord Kodeki, Mister Kodeki," Steff greeted as she came over with an empty glass to refill, and Connor turned to give her a smile.

"How many times must I ask you to just call us by our names, Steff?" he implored her. "You know I've never been one for stuffy titles."

She looked amused in return, inclining her head. "Then, Connor it is," she said, and he was impressed as always at her ability to tell them apart and to not second guess it. "And Cadyn," she added, glancing over at his brother. "I hope you're both enjoying your night. Even if you haven't… moved from this spot the whole time."

Ah, neither was she afraid to call them out. They'd been friends for long enough that she had a good idea of their humour. Talking about not being blind, Connor had always thought her pretty, with her long golden hair and her pale blue eyes. He was surprised that she hadn't found a husband in the last season. Then again, her brother likely hadn't helped matters. Plus, the rumour was that her family had gotten into a bit of debt.

"What can I say?" Cadyn replied, before he had a chance to. "It's a good spot to view the… spectacle," he said, gesturing towards the room and the people in it.

Steff frowned good-naturedly. "Now, now. I think it can be called something nicer than that. There's something enchanting about a good ball."

Connor hid a smile. Steff had always been something of a romantic, and it didn't surprise him that she enjoyed such events. "For some, maybe. For others it can be more of a chore."

"I'll have to work on changing your mind then," Steff laughed, looking unlikely to change her own mind on the matter.

"Mmm, good luck with that," they replied at the same time, grinning as they exchanged gazes with each other.

"I-…" Steff started, before she grew quiet as her brother, Loki came over, looking a little impatient.

"Stephanie. Let's go," he said, with a flick of his hand towards the doors, almost as if she were some kind of animal to be ordered around. "I've had enough."

Connor looked unimpressed as he looked over at him. It was not like he'd asked if she was ready to go. "Leaving a little early, don't you think?" he couldn't help but remark in a drawl, as he turned to face her brother, Loki.

"I'd better head off," she said quickly, before Loki could reply and an argument could ensue. She was always polite, giving a nod to them. "Enjoy the rest of your night."

"We will do," Cadyn replied, taking another sip of his drink. Connor on the other hand, watched them go, unable to figure out why he felt so annoyed.

ooOoo

Sitting opposite her brother on the carriage ride home, Steff regarded him warily. He'd had too much to drink at the event, she could tell. His gaze was unfocused, and his breath reeked of it. She only hoped that he might fall asleep so that she wouldn't have to keep her guard up for the whole ride home. That was a little too much to wish for, however.

"Do you know why no one wants to dance with you?" Loki asked her, his words slurred.

She remained silent, knowing that he would continue whether she said anything or not.

"It's because you're worthless," he spat forcefully, his gaze dark and hateful as he watched her. "And everyone can see that. You're as good as a servant with your hand-me-down clothes and your boring, meek manner. No one would want to marry you."

His words stung, but she worked at keeping her expression even, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of anything else. Her fingers played with her hair, trying to calm her thoughts. It especially hurt when it seemed his words were true – the no one wanting to marry her part, at the very least.

"Did you hear me?" he said, when she still didn't reply. He looked annoyed by this fact, his eyes narrowing. "Say it. Say that you're worthless."

Her heartbeat faster, and she swallowed, averting her gaze. Must he torment her at every opportunity? At a loud noise, she jumped in fright, realising he had hit the side of the carriage to get her attention. Leaning forward, he grabbed onto her hair, his fingers tangling roughly in it and pulling. "Say it."

She flinched, before becoming very still. "… I'm worthless," she said quietly. He paused for a moment as he watched her in satisfaction, before releasing her hair and sitting back again.

"Exactly. The sooner you get that, the better," he said, looking a little smug. "You may as well give up the thought of finding anyone. We both know it's not going to happen."

Looking out the window, she blinked a few times, trying to will herself not to cry. The less she let it get to her, the better, she knew. But it was hard when she felt like a piece of herself was being slowly chipped away at, every day.


Taking sips of her tea with her breakfast, Steff picked up the latest column from Lady Whistledown describing the ball the previous night. Steff herself didn't get a mention – as expected - but she smiled when she read the part where Rose was mentioned. While her mother didn't get out in society often, she did like to read the columns, keeping up to date with what was going on. It was one thing that she did for herself, and it was one thing that Steff could share with her.

Looking up from the column, Steff glanced over at her mother. She sipped on her own tea quietly and timidly as she glanced out the window, her long blonde hair folded gently over her shoulder. Steff chewed on her lip for a moment, before speaking up. "The ball really was beautiful last night," she said, looking for any kind of response. "And the Duke really did dance with Rose, just like Lady Whistledown said."

"Oh… that's nice," her mother replied softly, her gaze not moving from the window.

"There's another ball on soon," she tried again, trying not to sound too hopeful. "Maybe you could come with me to that one?"

Her mother seemed to hesitate for a long moment. "No, I-… You know I'm needed here," she said, finally. "It's best if I don't go. I hope you can understand."

"Of course," Steff replied, lowering her gaze back to the column. "It's fine… don't worry about it."

They spent the rest of their breakfast in silence, neither one breaking it, as if it would be some kind of unspoken crime to do so.


Steff did not expect the second ball to go much differently to the first. It did not seem like this season would be any different to the first, after all. This time, she wore a baby blue dress that Rose insisted she try – stating that it would match her eyes nicely, and that it was her colour. Steff decided to trust her, finding that it was soft as she ran her fingers down the silky material. Rose was much more well versed in fashion than she was, after all.

Watching the dancers taking to the floor, she couldn't help but wish that she could join them. She was drawn from her thoughts when Connor and Cadyn walked along the edge of the gathering, pausing by her.

"Steff," one of them greeted, and she turned to eye them. She hadn't been wrong at picking them as yet, and she didn't want that to change. "How funny to see you here again."

"This almost feels like déjà vu," the other added.

"Connor," she greeted to the first, before giving a smile to the second, "And Cadyn. How nice to see you both again." They were both dressed in similar formalwear to the last time she'd seen them, their reddish-brown hair standing out against the black.

From the discreetly impressed look they exchanged, she was certain she'd gotten it right.

"Still convinced you can change our mind?" Connor asked, tilting his head slightly in a challenge.

"Oh yes, I certainly haven't given up yet," she smiled, glancing between them. "But one of you must dance with me. If you're to experience a ball properly... Or you can both take a turn if you'd like. It's up to you."

Cadyn immediately held up his hands. "There's no way I'd be caught dead on that dance floor. The honour is all yours, brother," he said a little smugly, as he looked over at Connor.

Connor gave a long, drawn-out sigh, before he finally met Steff's gaze. "I suppose I should very well ask you for this dance, then?"

Steff blushed lightly. It had been bold of her to ask them in such a way – a lady was never supposed to ask a gentleman to dance, it was supposed to be the other way around. "And I would gladly accept," she said, holding out her hand for him to take.

Taking it, he led her to the dance floor, and she followed, keeping one step behind him.

ooOoo

Connor had never been one for dancing, preferring to watch others make a fool of themselves. That didn't mean he was ignorant however, his mother had made sure that he'd had proper dance and etiquette lessons, along with his brother. It was very quickly obvious however that Steff utterly enjoyed dancing. Her gaze positively sparkled, and she moved gracefully and effortlessly. He realised how much she had been wanting to dance, yet no one had asked. It made him feel bad for not asking earlier, even if it was just as friends.

"Was everything okay with your brother, after the last ball?" he couldn't help but ask, even if it knew it was prying.

She seemed to hesitate for a moment, before finding her footing again. "It was fine…" she said, although he sensed she was holding back. "He gets a bit like that sometimes. He isn't the best with holding his drink."

"Still, he shouldn't talk to you like that," he commented. "The way he orders you around-…"

"He is my older brother and escort, so it is his prerogative to decide when we leave," she interrupted quickly, averting her gaze. "Really, I would prefer not to speak of him."

Connor swallowed, before giving a slight nod. Now, he felt like a jerk for bringing it up. But he'd always felt uneasy when he watched their interactions, having a sharp dislike for him. "Sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up," he said, finally. He kept his hands light on her, careful to keep them in the designated places.

"It's fine. You needn't apologise," she replied, settling back into the rhythm of the dance. They were oddly matched in height – he was much taller, and he had to look down to meet her gaze. "I'm not doing very well in convincing you, now am I?"

"Not really," he admitted with an amused grin. Glancing to the side, he caught a glimpse of his brother's smirk as he watched. "Cadyn's going to tease me about this for weeks," he said, making a slight face.

"Well, at least your parents will be glad that you've joined in some kind of activity," she pointed out. "Even if it's just dancing with me."

She said it in such a belittling way towards herself, as if she was not particularly desirable to dance with, and he tried to suppress a small frown. "What do you mean by that?"

She blushed lightly, still keeping her gaze carefully averted. "You know what I mean. Just as a friend. I'm sure I wouldn't be your first pick to dance with. Most would like to dance with Savannah, or someone like her," she said, her gaze going to where the other girl was dancing with another suitor.

Connor couldn't suppress his laugh. "Her?" he said, incredulously. "She's the last woman I'd want to dance with. I wouldn't trust her one bit."

"So is that what you'd prefer?" she questioned, quietly. "Someone you trust, to dance with?"

"Well sure, I'd prefer to dance with someone who doesn't make me look like a complete fool when I try and do it," he said lightly, in return.

"… I see," she replied, seeming to consider his words for a long moment.

Connor spoke up again at another thought. "How do you tell us apart? Cadyn and I? No one else can."

Her eyes glittered in subtle amusement. It stuck him that in her shyness and her quest to appear a proper lady, some might miss the cheekier side to her and her good-natured humour. "Because I know you both. And as similar as you may look, you have different personalities and demeanours. Anyone who's spent enough time with you would know that."

Perhaps that was one of the problems. Most weren't interested in getting to know them. It was partly their own fault, Connor knew. They didn't exactly go out of their way to endear themselves to others, often preferring their own company. "And what exactly are the differences in our personalities?" he inquired, curious.

However, the song played its last notes, and they slowed, coming to a stop. "Perhaps I'll tell you someday," she replied teasingly, with a smile, before they both drew back. "But not tonight. I think I'll just leave you guessing."

"And here I was, thinking you were the nice one," he replied, in mock disappointment.

She seemed undaunted by his tease, smoothing her dress with her gloved hand. "All in good time."

Cadyn came over to meet them as they exited the dance floor, laughing. "Well, it was amusing seeing Connor out there dancing. Maybe you can teach him a thing or two, Steff. He'll be a proper gentleman in no time."

Connor rolled his eyes. "Don't listen to him. He's just jealous he missed out."

"Well," Steff said, looking over at Cadyn expectantly. "You know you can always have a turn if you'd like."

Cadyn's laughter turned into a grimace. "I'll pass on that, thanks."

Connor was about to say something else, before he paused as he noticed another gentleman coming over. After a moment, he recognised him as The Honourable Milo Althaus, whom he had seen dancing with Lady Lustwick at the first ball.

He gave a polite nod to Connor and Cadyn, before turning to Steff, which she looked surprised at. "Miss Tide, I don't believe we've properly met as yet. I'm sorry to introduce myself, but I'm not sure where your chaperone is."

Steff did a curtsy, and Connor could see the surprise that still lingered in her gaze. "Mister Althaus, you mustn't apologise. I am not sure where my brother has gone, unfortunately."

"May I have this next dance?" he asked, holding out his hand, although he glanced over at the brothers questioningly. "If the other gentlemen have finished?"

Connor had a strange urge to say they were not finished, but he bit his tongue when Cadyn spoke up. "Of course," Cadyn replied. "Feel free."

Steff took his hand, and they started away, heading back to the dance floor.

Connor watched them go with a subtle frown, although he wasn't sure why.

"Well," Cadyn said, piping up. "At least that saved me from having to dance."

ooOoo

Steff had been more than a little surprised when Mister Althaus had asked her to dance. Perhaps the fact that she had danced with someone else, was enticing enough to attract the attention, with was a strange thought.

He danced well, which made it easy for her, letting him lead, as was the norm for such dances. "Thank you for asking me to dance," she said, with a friendly smile. "I wasn't expecting it."

"You looked like a natural on the dance floor," he remarked, in return. "Most do it out of custom, but you looked like you genuinely enjoyed it. I thought that was worth seeing up close."

She blushed, finding his words both flattering and observant. "I admit that I do enjoy these kinds of balls. It's all a little magical, isn't it? And it's nice to just get out of the house sometimes, too."

"I can agree with you on that, too," Milo replied, with a quick nod. She sensed there was more to it than he was willing to say, as he spun her around. "It's good to have a break from family things sometimes, and to have a night out." He lowered his gaze to meet hers. Of course, he was taller than her, as all the men were, but he was more of an average height, compared to Connor. He was handsome, with dark brown wavy hair and grey eyes, looking like he had spent some time getting ready for the event.

"Of course, family is important and I don't mean to imply otherwise. Are you close with your family?"

Steff considered the question, wondering how best to reply. "I… am a bit of an outlier, compared to my family. We don't have many common interests, I'm afraid. My brother and I aren't… really close. But I do agree that family is important." She'd rambled on a little too much, and she caught herself. What must he think of her now after such an admission?

"I see. Family is certainly… complicated. My brother in particular is a bit of work," he remarked, thoughtfully. "But I still love him all the same."

"That's good that you care for him," Steff said, and she felt an ache at the fact that she didn't have a closer family herself. "Is your brother here tonight?"

"He's… too young to attend such things yet," he said, brushing the question aside, and she gave a quick nod, making sure to keep in time with the music. It was rather effortless dancing with him however, so she didn't need to worry too much. "I'm a little protective of him, but it's a necessary consequence of being an older brother."

"Of course. I'm sure he's eager to see if you can find a fitting wife this season."

"Yes well, I'll do my best," he said, a little awkwardly. "I'm fortunate that there seems to be a number of ladies available."

"I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding the right one," Steff said encouragingly, although she sighed inwardly at herself. As always, she was adopting the role of a friend, rather than actively pursuing someone herself. Maybe she needed to talk with Savannah about how to do such a thing.

Milo met her gaze again. "And how about yourself? What are you searching for at such events?"

Steff blushed lightly as she thought of her response. "I'm looking for love, really. I am not judging based on title or privilege or money. I'm just trying to find someone that I'd like to spend my days with. And someone who will not mind me, in turn."

"I'm sure there is much to like about you," he replied, and she inhaled softly at his words. "You do not sound ambitious like some girls I've talked to – in terms of status or money. Not many actually admit to looking for a love match. It's nice for a change."

His words were sweet, and she tried to force herself to not shyly look away. Boys did not always want someone meek and mild, she reminded herself. "Thank you for your kind words. I see no problem in being open about such things. May I ask what you're looking for?"

He inclined his head, looking like he was thinking on the question. "Someone who can help with my responsibilities, would be nice. And someone who can get along well with my family. They're important to me, after all."

"Well, I admire your dedication to them," she remarked, thinking that it was nice that he didn't try and hide his feelings towards them. She was about to ask something further, before she paused in surprise, seeing a young maid starting over towards them.

Milo followed her gaze, catching a glimpse of her, and he slowed, both of them coming to a stop. "Excuse me for a minute," he said to Steff, releasing her hand and walking over to meet the maid. They talked in hushed whispers for a moment, and Steff waited nervously. There would be gazes on her, she was sure.

Finally, he straightened, walking back to her, his tone turning more urgent. "I'm sorry, you must excuse me. It's my brother – he's not well. I must return home."

"Of course," Steff replied, giving a small curtsy. "Thank you for the dance, I'll let you go and attend to him. I hope he's okay."

"He will be, I'm sure," Milo replied, giving her a brief glance, before he hurried away, following the maid.

Steff watched him go, trying to push down the disappointment. She could almost imagine the next lady Whistledown headline. 'Girl Gets Left on the Dancefloor.'

With a sigh, she was about to start back to the other area, before she hesitated, noticing a pocket watch fallen on the ground. She'd very nearly stepped on it, and she quickly bent down to pick it up before any of the other dancers could. It was silver, boasted an elaborate design, and was obviously well loved and used. Turning it over in her fingers, she noticed engraved neatly on the back. She had to return it to him of course, and she carefully tucked it away in a hidden pocket in her dress skirt. She felt excited at the prospect of calling on him, although she knew it wasn't normal for a lady to do so. At least she had a good excuse, and she breathed a sigh of relief when she realised that most hadn't noticed the sudden interruption, as the dance came to an end.

She had been about to move off again to the sidelines, when she heard a commotion nearby. Looking over, her heart sank when she realised it was her brother who was making a scene. He looked even more drunk than the last time, his movements slow as he stumbled, and thankfully Savannah's brother was there to keep him upright.

Despite her reluctance, she hurried over, moving to Loki's other side and shifting his arm around her, helping to hold him up as he groaned, muttering something under his breath. "I'm sorry," she apologised quickly to Savannah's brother. Her embarrassment was quick to take over, making her feel warm and out of place. She preferred the thought of blending into the wall, rather than having the majority of the eyes in the room on her. "He's obviously had too much to drink."

Nathan acknowledged her words with a nod. "I'll help you get him back to the carriage. You'd better head back before he makes any more of a scene."

She made a sound of agreement, swallowing down her guilt. She should have been keeping an eye on him, before he got to such a state. Helping to support his weight was awkward with their height difference, but she did her best to help, avoiding the gazes that lingered on them as they traversed the room. Now the headline was likely to be even worse, as enough people had seen. It was a good thing that Mister Althaus had already left, but the rest of the gentlemen had likely already noticed the commotion.

Once they made it outside, the coachman jumped down and moved to help Loki inside of the carriage, while Nathan straightened. "I'll let you head home. Safe travels, Miss Tide," he said, stepping back.

"Thank you for your help," Steff replied gratefully, with a quick curtsy.

Heading to the carriage herself, the coachman held out a hand to help her up, and she nearly sighed with disappointment when she ripped the hem of her dress on the pointed heel of her shoe in her haste. What made it worse was that it wasn't even her own dress.

Making it inside, she saw that Loki was already asleep, with his head resting against the window of the carriage. She sat on the seat beside him in case he needed any assistance, watching as he shifted in his sleep, and ignoring the lingering smell of alcohol. As they started moving home, she brushed some tangled blonde strands away from his face. Even with how poorly he often treated her, he was still her brother. It was not entirely his fault that he had been brought up in such a way, learning such bad habits from their father.

As the carriage rattled along, she was silent, allowing herself to indulge in her thoughts. She had danced with two partners that night, which was progress compared to the previous ball and season. Even if one had simply been a friend. She decided to view it positively, knowing that it could all be seen as practice. And now, she had a good excuse to call on Mister Althaus herself.


The next day Steff started to doubt her plan, as she'd known she would. It was most improper for a lady to call on a gentleman unannounced, and without an invite, but she supposed it was better than giving up and not trying at all. Rose had called on her early that morning to have an update on the night's proceedings. She had been decidedly excited that Steff had danced with two gentlemen, and had been quick to support Steff's plan for that day. In fact, she'd very kindly offered for Steff to take one of her own maids along, as she certainly couldn't visit unchaperoned. Steff didn't exactly have her own maid to bring, so it was kind of Rose to think of such a thing.

As the carriage rolled along, Steff glanced out the window at the Althaus family home as they approached it. It was a nice sized home – not too large and over the top, but still a respectable size. They had moved to Mayfair and purchased the home only about a year ago, for unknown reasons - according to Lady Whistledown's past article – from a smaller city in England. Perhaps they had moved to be closer to the bustling city life, or perhaps it was to find Mister Althaus a wife. One couldn't be sure. Whatever the reason, it was fortunate for her that he appeared to be looking for a wife this season.

Steff was drawn from her thoughts when Rose's maid, Emma, asked a question. "Do you know how long your visit might be?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm not sure, I'm sorry," Steff replied, her fingers going to the pocket watch subconsciously. "I suppose it will likely only be short. I'll try not to keep you from your other duties for long."

"Oh, you needn't rush on my account," Emma assured her. "Ro-… Miss Blacktree said I could stay for as long as you needed."

"That is kind of her," Steff smiled, sitting up a little straighter as the carriage rolled to a stop. She was careful as she got down from the carriage, not wanting to damage another dress. As this was a more casual visit, she wore one of her own dresses from the previous season, knowing that at least he wouldn't have seen it before. It was a light pink colour, embroidered with little beaded flowers. None of her dresses had been that fancy, so this had been one of her favourites. Eyeing her and making sure she was well enough put together, Emma helped to fix her hair. She'd become accustomed to styling her own hair, and she'd braided her long golden hair, before doing it in an updo incorporating ribbons.

Walking to the door, Emma kept a couple of steps behind her, and she took a deep breath in, before she knocked. In her other hand, she pulled out the pocket watch, keeping it ready. From what she'd heard, his parents were away attending to business elsewhere, so she only hoped that he would be home.

A butler was quick to answer the door, his gaze lowering to her. "May I help you?"

"I was hoping to call on Mister Althaus, if he is home," she said, with a slightly nervous smile. "He left his pocket watch at the ball last night."

The butler caught sight of the pocket watch, obviously recognising it. "Your name? Miss…?"

"Oh, sorry," she said in a hint of embarrassment, straightening. "Miss Tide."

He eyed her for a moment longer. "You can come and wait in the sitting room. I will find Mister Althaus and see whether he is free."

It was a relief that he didn't take the pocket watch and ask her to leave, and she inclined her head gratefully. "Thank you. I am sorry to come unannounced like this."

The butler gestured for them to follow, and Steff's gaze was curious as she glanced at what she could of the hallways, finding various artwork hung on the walls. The sitting room was light and airy, and she sat on the couch, Emma waiting beside her.

"I will return soon," the butler said, before starting out of the room.

Steff chatted with Emma as they waited, finding Emma was keen to talk about Rose's upcoming outfits and hairdos. It was sweet to see how well they got along together, thinking it was nice that Emma was close in age to Rose, herself. It certainly meant that she would never be lonely.

Steff paused midsentence however, at the sound of a racking cough, which sounded like it was coming from further down the hallway. She frowned, thinking that whoever it was didn't sound particularly well. She felt instantly bad for calling on them.

The coughing continued for a long time, followed by a quick cry of pain. Without thinking, she rose to her feet, feeling worried. "I… should go and see if I can help," she said, and Emma looked nervous.

"Are you sure? I think we are meant to wait here."

"I-… I'll just go and check," Steff insisted. "You can wait here, in case he comes back."

Before she could second guess herself, she headed out of the sitting room, following the sounds. The cough sounded chesty, as if they were trying to cough something up, and she hurried down the hallway, holding her dress up to keep it out of the way.

Pausing at the door, she knocked quietly, and when she received no response, she hesitated. The door was partly open however, and at another set of racking coughs, she quickly pushed it fully open. The room was dark with the curtains drawn closed, only lit by some candlelight. There was a large bed with a number of cushions pushed out of the way, and the size of it made the boy laying on it seem even smaller. He looked awfully pale in the flicker of the candlelight, with dark circles under his eyes that only accentuated his tiredness. He was younger than her, she could tell, and she gathered that he must have been Mister Althaus's younger brother, finding that they had similar coloured eyes, although this brother had lighter brown hair.

"Sorry to barge in, but I just wanted to check you were…" she started, although she stopped when the boy had another coughing fit, and he struggled to sit up, as if he was quite weak. She rushed over to help, taking his arm to help him get to a seated position, and he reached over to the bedside table to catch hold of a handkerchief, pressing it to his lips. She just tried to be there for him, as he coughed up whatever he could, keeping a reassuring hand on his arm, and helping to pat his back as best as she could.

Finally, the coughing stopped, and when he drew the handkerchief away, she caught a glimpse of it, seeing that it was stained with bright spots of blood. Feeling sorry for the boy, she sat down on the edge of the bed. "You are unwell, I see. If I can do anything to help, please let me know. My name is Steff," she offered, wanting to skip past the formalities, considering his state.

"I'm… Rye," he replied quietly, quickly averting his gaze as he hid the handkerchief. "Are you… one of Milo's friends?"

She hesitated at the question. "I would like to be. I'm just here to return something that belongs to Mister Althaus. I assume you must be his younger brother."

He gave a quick nod, and she noticed a glass of water sitting on the bedside table. "Would you like some water?"

He nodded again, and she reached for it, before helping to hold it so he could take a sip. Afterwards, he lay back down, and she helped to adjust the pillows. "I'm sorry to see you're unwell. I know that your brother left the ball early last night because he heard you were sick." She shouldn't have visited, feeling like she'd made a terrible mistake. Of course, he would be busy tending to his brother. "Do you need me to call for anyone?"

"Someone is already on their way," he said, with a slow swallow. "It's okay."

He talked as if he was used to such a thing, resigned even, which she found surprising. Noticing he was shivering, she reached out to feel his forehead. "You're burning up," she frowned, inhaling quickly. Seeing a cloth sitting beside his bed, she rose to her feet, picking it up and moving to the adjoining bathroom. Wetting it with some water, she headed back to sit down beside him again, dabbing it carefully against his skin – both his forehead and his neck - to cool him down.

It seemed to help settle him, and she was relieved when his breathing sounded a little more normal. Seeing a book resting nearby, she looked at the cover, finding it was one she hadn't read before. "Perhaps I could read to you, until someone gets here?"

He made a small sound of agreement, looking glad at the offer as he sunk back into the pillows.

Picking up the book delicately, she turned to the page that was marked, and started to read to him. As she read, she noticed his eyes growing heavy, often flickering closed for long periods, as if he wanted to stay awake, but couldn't quite manage it.

Wondering whether he was asleep at one point, she was about to set the book down, before she froze at the sound of footsteps approaching. Mister Althaus was there, with another older man, and she closed the book, setting it down and quickly rising to her feet and giving a curtsy. "Mister Althaus-…"

"What are you doing here?" he demanded, livid. His eyes were narrowed, and it was hard to see any of the easy-going personality that she'd seen the night before. "What are you doing here in this room, with my brother?" he asked, again.

"I'm sorry, I-…" She stumbled over her words, trying to explain, but she didn't get a chance to finish, as he pushed past her, to get to his brother's side.

"Rye, wake up," he urged, gently shaking his arm. "The doctor is here to see you."

Rye's eyes flickered opened, glancing over at his brother, and Steff quickly set the book down and moved back, to give them some space. She certainly was intruding, and she quickly decided she should leave, before she caused any more trouble. He was obviously angry at her, and she doubted she'd be able to show her face near him again.

As the doctor moved to examine Rye, she hurried out of the room, starting down the hallway to find Emma. It was best if they left as soon as possible, and the guilty feeling hung in the air, while Loki's words still rung in her ears, as always. How could she have been so stupid?

ooOoo

Milo had never felt worse than he did when he yelled at Miss Tide. It had been a release of his pent-up frustration at his brother's downhill state, and he shouldn't have taken it out on her when she'd clearly been trying to help. He regretted it instantly, feeling even worse when she rushed to leave.

He made sure Rye was ready to follow the doctor's instructions, before he hurried out, after her. "Miss Tide," he called out, catching a glimpse of her at the other end of the hallway. She didn't stop, continuing on as if she hadn't heard. "Stephanie," he called this time, hoping to catch her attention, even if he knew it wasn't appropriate to call her that when she hadn't permitted him to.

This time, she froze, coming to a stop, although she didn't dare to look back at him.

"I'm sorry for acting like that towards you," he said with a sigh, moving to close the distance between them. "I'm just worried about my brother, and sometimes it makes me act in the worst of ways. I hope that you might be able to bring yourself to forgive me, sometime. Although I understand if you can't." Tentatively, he reached out to touch her arm, drawing her around to face him.

He could tell that she was holding back tears as she wiped at her eyes, and it only made him feel worse. Quickly, he released her arm.

"It's my fault," she said, finally. "I shouldn't have come – of course you'd be busy with your brother, I wasn't thinking. Please… I feel bad enough. I should just leave."

"It's not-…" Drawing in a loud breath, he tried to gather himself. "I would be grateful if you would stay – if you can."

"I shouldn't take up your time when you're busy…"

"The doctor usually spends a long time with my brother, so there's little I can do right now," he explained, meeting her gaze. "I would appreciate your company."

There was a flicker of surprise in her gaze, before she inclined her head. "Then I will stay," she said simply.

"Maybe a… walk through the gardens would be helpful," he suggested a little awkwardly.

She seemed glad of his idea, and he told her that he would alert the butler as to where he would be, while she went to fetch her maid. It was good, to give him some time to cool down and collect his thoughts. He wasn't usually so flustered.

Meeting her outside near the gardens, they started at a steady pace, the maid following far enough behind them that she wouldn't be able to overhear.

She adjusted a ribbon in her hair, and he stared out at the garden, trying to think of what to say. He didn't have to say anything however, when she spoke up.

"I actually came to give you this back," she said, drawing out his pocket watch from her bag, and holding it out to him. "I thought perhaps it was a family heirloom."

"It is, actually. My father gave it to me, since I am the eldest," Milo remarked, reaching out to take it, his fingers brushing hers briefly. Looking down at it, he turned it over in his fingers. Often, he felt that his brother was the favourite, considering how much they doted on him. But Milo would be the one given all the title and responsibility. Which was probably a good thing, in reality. "Thank you for looking after it for me." He'd thought it may have been lost, so he was glad to see it again. Reaching under his coat, he clipped it into place.

"Of course. Again, I'm so sorry for coming today," Steff said, a hint of guilt to her tone. "I didn't realise the extent of your brother's sickness."

"No, you wouldn't have," Milo acknowledged. "It isn't exactly featured in Lady Whistledown's columns. I've been careful to keep it quiet. Rye doesn't want it spread around like all the other gossip."

"I understand why your family might want to keep it private," she acknowledged, inclining her head. "And I can assure you that I won't mention it to anyone."

"Thank you, I appreciate that," Milo replied, breathing a sigh of relief. She was quiet as she glanced at the gardens, and he realised that she was likely waiting to see if he would say anything more on the matter. "…He's always been a sickly child," he remarked, wondering how best to explain it. "He's had to stay inside mostly, and rest. The doctors haven't given him long. Whatever he has, has similar symptoms to tuberculosis," he explained, before looking over at her quickly. "Although it isn't, obviously. Otherwise we'd all be sick. So you don't have to worry about any infection."

Looking over at him, it was clear that it hadn't even been on her mind. "Oh, I wasn't worried about that."

"It's just most… when they see he's sick, don't want to go near him," he said, lowering his voice. "So it's nice, is all." He cleared his throat. "You were good with him. I can tell that he likes you."

She blushed lightly, looking out at the flowers again. "I only did what I could."

It was more than most would have done, but he swallowed down the words, sensing her embarrassment at the compliment. "That's the reason we moved here actually, to the city. There's better medical facilities and doctors. I know… it's probably just wishful thinking. But I still can't help but try for a cure," he said, with a slight sigh. It had been a long journey so far, only to be met with disappointing outcomes.

Miss Tide paused, before reaching over to rest her hand against his arm for a brief moment. It was a reassuring gesture, and he drew in a quick breath. Sometimes, he forgot how isolated he often was. Even if he wasn't the sick one, his brother was nearly always on his mind, not giving him time to concentrate on much else. "It is obvious that you have done a lot for your brother. Your parents must be proud," she said, gently. "I can only imagine how hard it must be, to carry all this weight on your shoulders."

He swallowed, giving a brief nod. It was nice to get some kind of acknowledgement, especially since he couldn't usually talk about it with others. "In fact, if you wouldn't mind, maybe I could visit more often?" she suggested, although there was a hint of shyness to her tone. "I have plenty of experience looking after my brother when he is unwell. Perhaps I could help watch over Rye every so often, and read to him. It might do you some good to be able to go out and take a break."

He hadn't been expecting the offer, and he was hesitant at first, as if she was suggesting that he couldn't look after him, himself.

She seemed to read his thoughts, rushing to correct herself. "I mean, it's just an offer, you don't have to take me up on it, of course. I know you don't need my help as such. Sorry, Mister Althaus-…"

"Milo," he interrupted, finally giving her a grateful smile. "You can call me Milo. I've never been one for formalities. And I appreciate the thought. It would be nice if you were to visit again."

She inclined her head. "Then you must call me Steff. I will be sure to drop by again soon, then. Although hopefully not unannounced next time."

"You prefer Steff, not Stephanie?" he replied questioningly, slowing as they reached the front of the house again, having finished the circuit he'd set out for them.

"Yes, I've always preferred to go by Steff," she said, coming to a stop and giving him a polite curtsy. "Thank you for your time, Milo. I won't keep you any longer."

"It is I that should be thanking you," he replied lightly, giving her a smile in return. "I look forward to you visiting again."

She turned to her carriage to leave, her maid following obediently behind her. He watched for a long time, until she had left. It felt like a weight off his shoulders, to be able to share the burden of his brother with someone else.


Dearest Reader,

The second ball of the season turned out to be an eye-catching one. If you were not in attendance, then you surely missed out.

Mister Loki Tide appeared unbalanced and slurred in his speech and actions. Perhaps the stresses of the social season are getting to some of the gentlemen.

Lady Savannah Lustwick appeared to be able to handle him in a dance, before she upgraded to a dance with none other than the Duke of Wellington himself! And they did not dance only one dance, dear Reader, but two! If that does not speak of the Duke's fondness for her, then This Author doesn't know what will. Maybe the diamond of the season will be able to tempt him, after all.

With the upcoming masquerade party at the Sharpblade residence, one can only wonder what might happen there.

If anything does come of this, you will be the first to know.

Sincerely,

Lady Whistledown

ooOoo

As she ate her breakfast, Steff read over Lady Whistledown's latest feature. The mention of Loki was sure to be embarrassing for her whole family, but she would have been surprised if it wasn't mentioned, considering how much of a scene he had made. At least it was only a small mention, considering.

She sighed, when she was reminded of the masquerade party at the Sharpblade residence. It sounded interesting, but she already knew she wasn't invited. The invitations had already been sent out, but she hadn't been expecting one, anyway. It was only the very highest of the upper-class who were invited. Those who held ranks higher than her father's rank of a baron, and who had a better reputation, as well. She couldn't help but wonder if someone else would catch Milo's eye at the event. Still, she reminded herself, she would visit him again in a week's time, so at least she had that to look forward to.

"Here's the column, if you'd like to read it," Steff said, passing it over the table to her mother. She took it, reading it quietly for a moment. Steff waited to see if she'd give any kind of reaction as to what it had said about her brother. However, her expression remained as neutral as ever.

"I have another ball to attend, later this week," Steff said, quietly. "And then I'll be visiting Rose."

Her mother's gaze went to her. "Has Rose found a suitor yet?"

"Not yet, I don't believe," Steff replied, knowing that she was still trying hard. She waited to see if her mother would ask anything about her own efforts, but she waited for nothing.

"I'm going to go read a book in the library," she said, rising to her feet, and setting her napkin down. Later, she would have jobs to attend to - helping her mother get ready, and helping in the kitchens for the larger meals. Often when they were low on funds, her father expected her to act as a maid or to help in other ways. She was used to it now, and it no longer bothered her as it once had. "Let me know when you need me."

Her mother hummed in agreement, although she didn't look inclined to get up any time soon. Often, when Steff's father was out, she didn't have to pay as much attention to her appearance, which was a good thing for both of them.


The next ball didn't occur until after the masquerade ball, and Steff had luckily been filled in on the details from Rose and then later, Lady Whistledown. It seemed that Savannah and the Duke had been the focus, which was a positive sign.

Making her way over to the twins, Steff settled into an easy conversation with them, as always.

"Say, Steff, who do you think Lady Whistledown is?" Connor asked her, his eyes glittering with mirth, as if they were used to playing such a game.

"Oh, I would really have no idea," Steff replied with a laugh, to keep from having to answer. "Whoever it is, has been doing well to keep it quiet all this time."

"Really though," Connor remarked, his gaze skirting over the ladies and gentlemen who were dancing. "Do you have any guesses? From the writing, I would guess it is likely a lady. Unless Mason or someone has developed a secret love for posing as a woman and collecting gossip."

Steff hid another giggle, shaking her head slightly at the thought. "Perhaps a lady, yes. I am more surprised to hear that you read the columns."

"We have to admire her, in a way. She's the biggest prankster of us all. As much as we hate to admit it," Cadyn butted in. It was a little refreshing to hear such a point of view, knowing that many were against the columns, when she rather enjoyed reading them.

"So, who do you think?" Connor pushed. "Lady Lustwick?"

Steff's gaze went to the lady in question. "I don't think Savannah would have interest in writing such things. Although she likely reads it. She wouldn't have the time to, either."

"Good point," Cadyn agreed. "Miss Blacktree, then?"

Her gaze shifted to where Rose danced with Mister Springfeather. "Rose does love her gossip. But she prefers to speak it, rather than write it down."

"Good point," Connor acknowledged, still looking amused at the conversation. "Miss Calliope or Miss Hallowdawn?"

"What about you, Steff?" Cadyn asked, bluntly. "You like to read."

"Me?" she said in surprise, looking over at him with a self-conscious laugh. "Oh, I'm not nearly as good at keeping secrets. I wouldn't be smart enough to pull something like that off."

Connor frowned at her choice of words. "You are smart, though. It sounds almost as if you're putting yourself down."

She hesitated, knowing she was used to doing such a thing because of the things her family had always said to her. "That's kind of you to say," she replied simply, not wanting to refute his words.

"Well, whoever it is, I'd like to meet her – or him – someday," Cadyn remarked, with a brief shrug.

"Wouldn't we all?" Connor commented, looking over at her again. "You should come and visit sometime. We could play a game of bocce."

It was a nice offer, and Steff inclined her head. "I'd like that. Although I haven't played before, so you know I'll be terrible at it."

"All the easier for us to win," Cadyn grinned, and she already knew that he was going to take winning seriously.

"Now, now, we will help you. Don't worry, Steff," Connor laughed, rolling his eyes at his brother. "We're not trying to scare her off."

They fell into a comfortable silence as they watched the dancers for a moment. "Did you both attend the masquerade party? I was sad to miss it," she commented, finally.

"We didn't feel like attending," Connor replied, exchanging a glance with his brother. "There wasn't anyone of interest attending, since you weren't there." Steff laughed off his words, with a shake of her head. "And also we don't like Mason that much. In case you haven't noticed that yet."

She had of course, but she hadn't been going to bring that up. "Well at least I'm not the only one who missed it," she said, lightly.

She straightened in surprise, however, when she spotted Milo walking over. She'd seen him dancing with another girl earlier, so she hadn't expected to get to talk with him.

"Steff," he said, inclining his head, and she gave a curtsy in return. "Could I have the next dance?"

She glanced over at the twins, finding it hard to read Connor's expression, although Cadyn didn't seem to mind. They seemed surprised, she thought, that he had addressed her by her first name, this time. "Y-…Yes," she stammered. "That would be nice. I'll see you soon for the game," she said to the twins, before moving to take Milo's hand that he offered, and follow him to the dance floor.

The music settled into a slow dance this time, which she was glad for, as it gave them more opportunity to talk. Inhaling, she tried to think about what to say for a moment. She resisted the urge to ask about who he'd danced with earlier. That would just be nosy.

"Did you go to the masquerade party?" she asked. "I was just talking to Connor and Cadyn about it."

"I did go," Milo replied, "Dress ups aren't really my thing, though. But I guess it was good for something different, compared to the usual balls. No offense intended," he replied with a laugh at the last part, knowing that she enjoyed them.

"Oh, I'm not offended," she assured him. "It's interesting, the idea of being able to hide your identity – at least a little. Not that it particularly suits me. But it must be freeing, in a way."

"Yes, well, you didn't miss much really. Besides some good food and drinks. The Sharpblade's know how to host."

"Yes, I imagine they would," she replied, thinking that they certainly had enough money to host such events. She could only dream of hosting such a thing. "How is Rye going? I was hoping to drop by again soon."

"Please do," Milo replied, with a nod. She'd had her second visit already, and it had gone smoothly, she thought. Rye was a good kid, and her heart went out to him. "I'd like that. And I know that Rye would, too. His health… hadn't made any improvements. But we have had a couple of new doctors around to assess him."

"I hope that they might be able to make some headway," she offered kindly, silently wishing them the best. "Did you enjoy your earlier dance?"

"It was fine," Milo replied, although it didn't sound like he felt particularly strongly about it. He lowered his voice. "Honestly, it's kind of good to have someone who I can talk about things, with. I get tired of lying about everything."

"I can understand that." She had been about to add more, but she paused when she noticed Savannah's brother, Nathan, emerge from the gardens, with bruised looking knuckles. It didn't seem to bother him however, his face looking tense and set on something else. Pushing inside, he talked to one of the servants, before waiting.

Milo followed her gaze. "Do you think something happened?"

"That's Savannah's brother," she observed, watching as the servant brought back some ice wrapped in a cloth and he headed back outside, towards the gardens. "It looks like… maybe something did."

The rest of the night was less eventful, and she was glad for once to be able to leave when she was ready, without any kind of scene, herself.


Cadyn and Connor were both skilled at fencing, liking to keep their skills sharp to pass the time. Besides, they were both deeply competitive. In games, anyway. As for political disagreements, they made sure to stay out of those, and they didn't take sides.

"You read the latest from Lady Whistledown?" Connor assumed, as they finished warming up and attached the safety tip to their foils. Next, they drew down their mask and took their positions, adopting a fencer's crouch. "En garde!" they both called out. Cadyn was careful to keep his sword arm relaxed, and his grip light and flexible. "Lady Lustwick and the Duke are to be married."

"No surprise there," Cadyn snickered as he lunged forward to attack first, to which Connor neatly parried, retreating carefully. They had spent so much time practising together, that they knew each other's styles perfectly. Especially because it mirrored each of their own. "You saw the state of the Duke when he left. Bet he has a nasty black eye, today."

Most of the time they found the ridiculous social customs amusing to observe, commenting on the things they noticed. However, Connor seemed distracted, in a way that he wasn't normally. "Mmm," Connor said, finally. "Did you see that Mister Althaus danced with Steff again? It's weird, don't you think?"

"Weird?" Cadyn repeated giving him a look – not that he probably caught it under his mask - before he advanced, swishing his blade this way and that, before lunging forward again. "No. He probably wants to court her or something."

He could have sworn that Connor looked almost troubled by this. "Do you think so?" His distraction was enough to give Cadyn a victory, touching his chest with the tip, before they reset.

"Why are you being so strange?" Cadyn countered. "What is up with you and Miss Tide?"

"Steff," Connor corrected, obviously without thinking.

Cadyn frowned. "That's exactly what I mean, you're being way too causal with her. She might get the wrong idea. She might think you're interested in her."

Connor paused. "…And what if I am?" he questioned, before he thrusted forward towards Cadyn's chest.

Cadyn snorted, parrying and doing a small cut to deflect his foil. "Don't be ridiculous. I know you despise the idea of courtship and marriage just as much as I do."

"Maybe she's worth it."

Cadyn recoiled, finding his words so unlike him. "You're acting strange… What do you see in her, exactly?"

Connor didn't answer, raising his chin. "What? Are you jealous?

Narrowing his eyes, Cadyn slashed out at him a few times in pure frustration, and Connor quickly jumped back, staring at him. "What on earth, Cadyn? What's gotten into you? You know the rules – no slashing."

"Whatever. I'm done here," Cadyn replied, throwing his foil to the side and starting to take off his mask. Once he'd dumped it all on the ground, he promptly headed off, ignoring Connor's calls. It left a sour taste in his mouth, because they never fought.

Things were happening too quickly and spinning out of his control, and he didn't want to be left behind.


Going to visit Rose was always a nice trip, finding she often had a positive outlook on most things, as well as plenty of gossip to share.

The carriage trip there was only a short one, and Steff agreed on a time to leave with the driver, before heading to the door. She was only able to use the carriage when her father wasn't using it, so she planned her trips carefully.

Knocking on the door, she found it opened instantly before she could knock a second time. "Miss Tide," the footman greeted, inclining his head in a respectful gesture. "Please come in. Miss Blacktree is waiting for you in the drawing room."

"Thank you," Steff replied, knowing Rose's family house well by now. Reaching the drawing room, she smiled at Rose, who quickly rose to her feet to greet her.

"Steff," she exclaimed, ushering her into the room. "How good to see you again."

"On the contrary, it is good of you to invite me," Steff smiled, moving to take a seat beside her on the red velvet couch. The whole room was rather elaborate, with a golden dangling light, a large mirror hanging over the fireplace, a wooden coffee table and a number of plush sitting chairs, along with the couch.

"Oh, don't be silly. Of course you're welcome here, anytime," Rose said, passing Steff a cup of tea. "I already had it made to your liking, and sent my maid out, so that we can chat alone."

"Thank you," Steff replied politely, accepting the delicate teacup carefully, and taking a sip. It had obviously been freshly made. "It was so nice to be able to attend Savannah and the Duke's wedding," she remarked, knowing that Rose would be keen to talk on the topic. "It was obvious that the Duke looked uncomfortable, until she arrived," she said with a smile. "Like Lady Whistledown said, he couldn't take his eyes off her."

"Yes, it was just magical," Rose sighed. "Even though they had to rush the preparations, a bit. I was surprised they didn't make it larger, actually. I mean, a Duke getting married, is a big thing."

"That it is," Steff agreed, quietly. If she could find someone to look at her the way he'd looked at Savannah, then she'd be happy. They needn't be a Duke or as high of status, or even rich. As long as they were both content.

"Savannah looked stunning in her dress, of course," Rose continued. "I had a moment to chat with her, and she said that after the honeymoon, she'll organise an event for us. Just like we talked about that one time." It was obvious that she was rather excited about that fact.

"That's kind of her. She could have easily forgotten about us, now that she's married," Steff remarked.

"But enough about Savannah," Rose stated, quickly changing the topic, and she leaned forward, fixing Steff with her gaze. Somehow, Steff wasn't surprised that Rose managed to accrue so much gossip. "I want to hear all about how you're going with your suitors. Has there been any update? I saw Mister Althaus danced with you again at the last ball."

Having the topic of conversation turn to her was enough to make her a little self-conscious, although she tried to hide it. "I have been visiting him," she admitted. "Although mainly to help him tend to his brother." She didn't go into any specifics of Rye's illness, always trying to be careful. "So more of a… friendly kind of thing."

"Mmm," Rose said, eyeing her. "Because most young gentlemen invite over a young lady just because of their brother."

She gave a quick laugh. "Oh, and Connor invited me over for a round of bocce with the two of them. So you should wish me luck with that – I'm going to need it."

Rose started to look even more excited, her gaze lighting up, and her tone adopting a dramatic flair. "The twins have invited you over as well? Steff! What secrets you've been hiding from me."

"We've been friends for a long time," Steff protested with a blush at her implication, "And they've invited me over before to play pall-mall, so it's nothing new. Like I said, they just see me as friends."

"I don't think so," Rose practically sang. "Connor invited you, right? Plus he danced with you, this season. And then there's Mister Althaus. I think they're both vying for your attention! A soon to be Earl and Viscount. Either would be a great choice."

"Nonsense, they're both just… friends," Steff asserted, despite Rose's doubtful gaze. That was all anyone ever saw her as, and she didn't want to get excited by another possibility which was likely far from the truth. Despite her often wandering thoughts, she didn't live in that much of a fairytale. "Anyway, tell me about you and your season so far." Rose was always happy to talk about herself thankfully, so it didn't take much to divert her train of thought.

"Oh well, I've danced with plenty of gentlemen," she mused aloud, although she sounded a little disappointed. Or perhaps deflated, was a better word. "But I haven't had many actually come visiting. Or invite me over. I don't know whether I'm going to have any luck this season."

Feeling sympathy for her friend – as Steff completely understood what such a thing felt like - she tried to cheer her up. "Any gentleman would be lucky to have you, Rose. Don't worry, they'll figure it out soon enough."

"I don't really have that many good qualities though," she said, placing her teacup down on the table. "So I'm not so sure."

"Well, I am," Steff said, confidently. "You're beautiful, Rose. And you'd be very talented at running a household. You'd host the best events and parties, and be the social butterfly of the town – just like you already are. You're kind and caring and a loyal friend. And your partner would be the first to know all of the gossip of the town."

Rose seemed to perk up a little. "Well, the second maybe, after Lady Whistledown. She always seems to know everything first."

"I don't know, Rose. I think you'd given whoever it is a run for their money," she chuckled.

They settled into an easy conversation, as always, chatting about the latest events and news in the city, before Rose lent her a couple more dresses for the upcoming events.

As it became time to leave, Rose made her promise to update her with what occurred at the bocce game, and Steff was quick to inform her that it wouldn't be nearly as exciting as Rose was anticipating.

As she left, Steff found she couldn't help but smile, always glad to have such a good friend. Most of the time, she felt more like her family than her blood relatives did.


Rose's maid accompanied Steff's journey to the Kodeki manor. She'd visited before of course, but every time she saw it, she was always reminded of how grand and slightly imposing it was. Boasting a great number of rooms, the size was obvious, even a distance. It had been passed down through their family, and it would go to Connor, as the next Earl.

There was a large expanse of grass in the garden, which made for the perfect place for the twin's games. The footman accompanied her and Rose's maid to the backyard, where they were already waiting. They twins were wearing comfortable clothes for playing such a game in, and Steff sighed inwardly at the fact that woman always had to wear ankle-length dresses. She had worn one of her looser corsets, in an attempt to help a little, but all of the outfits were still - of varying degrees – restrictive in nature.

They straightened when she approached, both of them already holding some of the bocce balls in their hands.

She immediately gathered the one who approached her with a smile was Connor. "Steff," he greeted. "I hope you're ready to bring your A game."

She chuckled, giving a slight shake of her head. "As much as a novice can. Although I have a feeling that I'll be more of a spectator to watch which one of you wins."

"Yes, well that remains to be seen," Cadyn replied, although he looked more eager to start and skip the pleasantries. He looked about to throw something, before Connor stopped him, prying it from his hand.

"Hang on, we do actually have to teach her how to play," Connor said, rolling his eyes at his brother.

Turning to Steff, he held out the smaller ball. "This is the pallino. One of us throws it out onto the lawn to start. Then we take it in turns, throwing our bocce balls until we run out. The person who gets their ball the closest to the pallino in the end wins. Of course… one can play both offensively and defensively," he added, a cunning glint to his gaze. "Which is what makes it fun. So technically, you can move the pallino with your bocce ball, or move other player's balls. Shall we say best of three rounds? Usually it's played in teams, but obviously we'll just be playing individually today."

Listening carefully, Steff gave a nod to show that she understood. "That sounds straightforward enough. I think I should be able to give it a try. Although I can't promise much in regards to my aim," she added on the end, with a smile.

Connor laughed, looking amused at the thought, before he turned to the expanse of green in front of them. Holding the smaller ball up, he then threw it, watching to see where it landed. "Ah, there it is. I'll start, Steff, just to demonstrate."

Picking up the bocce ball with his markings, he threw it effortlessly, and she watched as it flew through the air, landing not too far away from the pallino, considering. She whistled, "You make it look so easy."

Next, Cadyn moved to the spot they had marked, throwing one of his own bocce balls. It hit Connor's own ball, landing nearby.

"Close enough," Cadyn said, looking happy enough with his first throw.

Picking up one of her own bocce balls, Steff moved to the line. Mostly, she hoped she wouldn't embarrass herself. Sports weren't exactly something that women were taught growing up. Looking at the pallino, she threw the ball, hoping it would go somewhere in the general vicinity. However, it went far off to the side, and she couldn't help but laugh. "… Sorry. I still need a bit of practice, obviously."

"You don't need to apologise," Connor said, moving to the line with his next ball. "It's best to do an underarm throw, or a roll. More like this," he demonstrated, and she realised she hadn't done the same. His ball stopped even closer to the pallino, and he grinned over at his brother. "See if you can beat that."

"Oh, I will," Cadyn promised, moving to the line.

Connor moved back next to Steff. "According to the Egyptian hieroglyphics, the Egyptians played a form of bocce using polished rocks," he informed her. "I think our version is more fun, though."

"Undoubtedly," she agreed, interested in the history of the game.

"It's actually been banned multiple times throughout history. The first time was 1319, when the Roman Emperor, Charles IV outlawed the game because it took people's attention away from military matters. Something about it interfering with the security of the state," he laughed. "Instead of focusing on archery and other military exercises, everyone was busy playing bocce."

"It certainly must have been popular then," she remarked, although she supposed it was a game that everyone could enjoy. "I can see the appeal." It seemed that perhaps he had an interest in history, which was nice. Most were too busy being stuck on the present to read books about such matters.

Realising Cadyn had already gone, Steff looked over to see where his had landed. It had in fact bowled Connor's ball out of the way, landing right next to the pallino.

"Looks like I win this round," Cadyn said smugly, and Steff didn't dare to refute it. It wasn't like she'd be anywhere close.

Attempting her next throw, she was careful to do an underarm one this time, thinking that she managed to aim a bit straighter, even if the ball was still far from the target. "Congratulations, Cadyn. The first round is certainly yours," she agreed, throwing him a smile.

He didn't return it however, and she found him harder to read than normal.

They all moved across the field to collect the balls and the pallino. She was careful to keep her dress out of the way when she bent down, although Connor helped by passing the last ball to her.

Walking back to the starting line, Cadyn threw the pallino this time, before starting with his own ball soon afterwards.

"So?" Connor said, looking at her expectantly. "You still haven't given any clues as to how you tell us apart."

Steff moved to do her turn, watching as the ball rolled a little closer than her other attempts, and she considered his question. Perhaps she would show a bit of mercy and shed some light on the answer.

"Well," she started, glancing back at them. "For starters, you have subtly different demeanours and postures even, sometimes. So that's how I can guess from a distance. But then of course, there's differences in your personalities and how you interact with others."

They both stared at her, a little gobsmacked, which she found amusing considering they both usually had a lot to say on different topics. "Cadyn is more stubborn, more opinionated and more of the instigator with any games or light-hearted conflict, while Connor, you usually play along. Connor's usually quicker to act in a friendly way towards someone new, and is more interested in conversing with others, I feel." There were other differences of course, but she thought it prudent not to voice them all. Connor also seemed the most mature out of the two and could be rather thoughtful when she talked to him alone. But when they were back together, the mischievous energy returned. "That's just a small glimpse into my thoughts, anyway."

"And here I was thinking that no one really paid attention to us," Connor replied, with a lopsided smile. "Not even Lady Whistledown mentions us that often."

"Well, I notice you," she said, after a pause.

Connor stared at her for a long moment, until Cadyn nudged him with an elbow to his side. "It's your turn."

Finally, he picked up his bocce ball and walked over to do his turn. Watching, she couldn't help but notice the line of concentration to his stance, and the light breeze that stirred his hair. The ball moved closer than Cadyn's to the target, and he looked back at them with a grin. "I doubt you'll be in the lead for long," he said over to his brother.

Cadyn muttered something unintelligible under his breath in response and she hid a giggle behind her hand. Somehow, they never ceased to make her laugh.

This time, Cadyn threw the ball so that it moved the pallino itself, away from Connor's ball, much to his disgust.

Steff attempted another turn, but it was not much better than the first, before she stepped back to allow Connor his last turn.

This time, Connor threw his ball carefully, and they all watched as it landed right beside the pallino.

Cadyn cursed his bad fortune, although it was obvious that he was excited for the deciding round. "Best of three, so whoever wins this out of the two of us, wins."

"I can sit out this round," Steff offered, as they walked to collect the balls again. "And just watch."

"No way," Connor protested. "You need another chance at redemption. Besides, it's good practice."

"If you say so," Steff replied with a laugh, starting to head back once they had collected them all. "I'll give it another try."

Connor got Cadyn to start again, letting him throw the pallino. They both had their turns one after the other, and as predicted, their balls were close, and hers was not. She didn't mind however – happy for either of them to win. It was just a game after all, and she certainly hadn't gone there expecting to win anything. Really, it was nice to just spend time with them.

As Cadyn finished his last turn, he looked back at them triumphantly. "Good luck beating that."

Connor cocked his head to the side, eyeing the playing field. Cadyn's throw had been a good one, but not unbeatable.

To both Steff and Cadyn's surprise, he didn't aim for the pallino, instead throwing his ball right at Cadyn's. It rammed into his brother's, sending both of their balls rolling much further away. It was hard to tell exactly which ball was closer now, as they were side by side.

"What was that?" Cadyn frowned.

Steff glanced between them briefly, before moving into position for her final throw.

"Wait," Connor said, which made her pause. Coming up behind her, he took her arm gently in his hands. "Here, like this," he said, and she could feel his breath on her cheek as he slowly swung her arm a few times back and forth in the right motion. Hopefully the maid wasn't watching or if she was, she could see it was just in the spirit of teaching the game, Steff thought briefly. Still, he was so close that she could feel him, and it made it hard to concentrate. He helped her to tilt slightly to fix her aim. "There, now release it when I say to… Now," he said as he started to swing her arm forwards again in an underarm throw, and she released it, watching it go.

Impressively, the ball rolled right into place beside the pallino, now that the other balls were far removed from it, and she shifted slightly to look up at him, a smile tugging the corner of her lips. "Thank you," she said, her heart beating surprisingly fast.

"On the contrary, it was all you," he replied, and he paused for a long moment, before he released her arm, although he didn't yet draw away.

"What the hell, Connor?" Cadyn said loudly, annoyance plain in his tone, and Connor finally shifted away to turn to him. "Why did you do that? Now no one wins."

"Sorry. We can do another round if you like and I can sit out-…" Steff started to offer, but Connor shrugged, still staring at his brother.

"I was just teaching her how to play. Besides, who cares if no one wins. It was fun, anyway."

Steff had never seen Cadyn so angry, and she felt bad for having caused any kind of conflict. "Maybe I should head back," she said, after a pause. "It's getting late, anyway."

"Yes, maybe you should," Cadyn said, dismissively, before he turned on his heel and walked off, leaving them there.

"I didn't mean to make the game end like this," Steff sighed, hoping Connor wasn't mad with her. "I'll help you collect everything, and then I'll leave."

"Seriously, it's fine. He'll get over it," Connor said, gesturing towards the carriage. "I can clean this up later. Here, I'll walk with you back to the carriage."

It was a nice gesture for him to offer, and she gave him a tentative smile in thanks, before starting back towards the front of the property.

"He's been a little off, lately. It's not your fault," Connor remarked. "Probably just the whole social season thing getting to him. It's not really either of our things."

"Yes, I kind of gathered that, from the way you watch everyone, judge them, and stick to the sidelines," she said, wryly.

"That's us," Connor agreed with a brief laugh. "Although we never judge you."

"Why is it that I think you're lying?" she said, rolling her eyes a little. "Thank you again for inviting me. I did have a good time."

"I hope so, despite everything," he said with a subtle sigh, looking over at the carriage as they approached it, her maid pausing nearby. She could tell he was making an effort to lighten the mood. "Really, with a bit of work I think I could make you into a bocce pro, in no time."

"In your dreams, maybe," she chuckled. He held a hand out to her a little awkwardly, offering to help her into the carriage, and she took it, stepping up and making her way inside. Releasing his hand, she gave him another smile. "I'll see you at the next event, Connor."

"Yes, you will," he replied, closing the door for them after Rose's maid slipped inside. "Keep well, Steff."

The whole carriage ride back, she thought of the game fondly, despite its ending.


Weeks went by with only little events here and there. Steff continued her visits to Milo's family manor, enjoying her time seeing him and his brother. It was nice as well, to get out of her house for a little while.

But soon it came time for the greatly anticipated party at the Duke and new Duchess of Wellington's city house. Apsley House was just one of their houses – and not even the biggest – but it was grand, standing alone in a spot of pride on the south-east corner of Hyde Park.

Looking up at the townhouse, Steff was excited by the thought of seeing the new couple – it was the first time she would see Savannah since her wedding. They were certainly the first and most notable match of the season.

"Let's go in," Loki said, starting towards the doors without waiting for her. "I need to speak with the Duke about something."

Steff sighed inwardly. Likely he was either wanting to harass the Duke into investing in one of his schemes, or into gambling with him. It was well known that the Duke had plenty of money, naturally.

The footman checked her invitation, before letting them inside, and she followed the other guests towards one of the main rooms, although it seemed a number of rooms were open for the guests to wander through. She couldn't help but look around in wonder, at all the lavish decorations. The house had been passed down in the Duke's family, so it had plenty of grandeur, with chandeliers, fancy seats and numerous golden framed paintings on the wall, both of members of the family and of other scenes. While there was no doubt plenty of history behind the house, she could imagine that Savannah would be keen to make it her own.

Loki had disappeared somewhere in the crowd, and Steff tried to look for any familiar faces. Not everyone had received an invite, similar to the Sharpblade's party, and many looked like they belonged to the higher classes of the city. No doubt Savannah had chosen carefully. Really, Steff was just grateful to have even been considered in the first place.

At one end, a trio of musicians played their instruments – a flute, pianoforte and violin, the pieces they played elegant and stately, and she was distracted by them for a moment, before she finally spotted some familiar faces. Rose, Naya and Mister Valewoodtalked together in a group, and Rose was quick to wave her over.

Feeling a little relieved, she started over towards them, holding the light green dress that Rose had lent her carefully, to ensure that it didn't get stepped on as she passed through the crowd.

Steff quickly greeted them, and she was unsurprised to find the latter of the two together, as they seemed to be rather good friends. No doubt they got many questions around whether they were courting, but Naya and Devi were always quick to dismiss such things. Devi certainly looked a little bit miserable to be in such a social setting, as he often did, but when Naya leaned in to whisper things to him, he did seem to cheer up a little.

"Steff, it's so good to see you here," Rose exclaimed, before giving a subtle wink. "I just love your dress."

"Thank you, you're too kind," Steff said in response, with a smile in return. Where she would be without Rose's help, she didn't know. She could have easily gotten lost in the music, able to hear the flutist draw a breath, and the slight twang of the violin strings. There was nothing like music to lighten the soul. "Have you seen Savannah yet? I wanted to thank her for inviting me."

"Not yet," Naya replied, waving over one of the waiters who held a tray with cute little appetisers. She picked out a small cake, waiting as Devi did the same, and Steff picked a scone half with jam and cream for herself. Rose shook her head, and the waiter moved on. "She and the Duke haven't made their appearance yet."

"I can't wait to see them together," Rose said dreamily. "If they can find each other and get married so quickly this season, then there's a chance the rest of us might, too."

"Hopefully," Naya agreed, making a sound in frustration. "If I don't find a match this season, then my parents are likely to try and match me with someone themselves." She glanced over at Devi. "It's times like these that I wish I could trade places with you."

Devi took a bite of his cake, before making a sound in disagreement. "Trust me, it's not fun being the oldest boy in the family, either. Everyone pins their hopes on you – even if they've practically given up by now," Devi muttered.

"Mmm well still, at least you have some say in the matter," Naya pointed out, scanning the room. "Besides, I'd love to have siblings."

"You say that now but-…" Devi said, trailing off with a shake of his head. "They drive me crazy."

Steff agreed silently. Her one sibling was enough to make her wish she was an only child sometimes. How she envied those with close-knit families. Perhaps it was why she wanted one so badly herself.

The music and chatter suddenly started to die down, and Steff looked up quickly. Savannah and the Duke emerged from the hallway, her arm linked with his. Steff drew in a breath. Savannah looked stunning – wearing a deep red dress, which was undoubtedly a favourite of hers, with layers of black lace that looked stunning with her dark brown hair. The Duke had always been inclined to wear dark colours like the black that he was currently wearing, but there were fine details to the edges of his jacket and breeches, which she guessed that Savannah would have influenced. No doubt, she would have had their clothing made to match well.

Everyone's gaze went to them, and Steff could have sworn that some of the men nearby unabashedly stared at Savannah. Taking a glass from one of the waitstaff, Savannah smiled at the guests gathered there, looking in her element. "Thank you everyone for coming today. The Duke and I are delighted to have your presence here. We have moved back to the city to see out the rest of the social season, and I couldn't resist the chance to have some of you over. Please enjoy yourselves – there will be plenty of food and music throughout the night." Holding her glass up to toast, some of the other guests did so as well, drinking the contents. Watching the Duke, Steff gathered that he wasn't so comfortable with such big gatherings.

"The Duke looks uncomfortable," Naya observed, saying it under her breath to them. "With so many eyes on him."

Steff watched for a moment longer, noticing how his posture relaxed slightly when Savannah took his arm again. "Perhaps not as much, with her."

The chatter and music started up again as the new couple walked to greet their guests individually, and Steff turned back to her friends, finishing off her scone.

"Steff, you have to tell us how your game went with the twins!" Rose said enthusiastically, and she couldn't help but blush lightly when Naya and Devi turned to look at her too.

"Oh, it went well… mostly," she swallowed, glancing around to make sure they weren't nearby. "I wasn't that good at it, as I expected, but Connor helped me in the last round. But it made for a tie, and Cadyn was angry at the end," she admitted. "I hope that he doesn't mind too much, now."

"Ooh, maybe he was jealous," Rose suggested, her grin widening.

"I don't think so," Steff dismissed quickly. "It was just a game, really, and some people like to win more than others."

"You never know," Rose encouraged, before glancing over at Devi. "Don't you think they might like her, Dev?"

Devi looked a little caught off guard to be asked. "Uh…. I don't really know them that well."

"The twins have never seemed interested in courting," Naya mused aloud. "So it's hard to say, really."

"We're just friends," Steff emphasised again, looking over at Rose. As much as she appreciated her friend's optimism, neither did she want to get her hopes up for nothing. "More like Naya and Dev."

Naya gave a quick laugh. "Except he's a pushover in those kinds of games. I always win."

"Hey." Devi frowned. "Not every time."

"Well, at the very least, Connor helped you win," Rose pointed out. "That is not their usual competitive behaviour."

Maybe not, but then again, Connor had always been nice to her. "I'm going to get a drink. Anyone else want one?" Steff asked, keen to slip away before any more conclusions were made.

No one took her up on her offer, and she walked across the room. Although she tried to scan the faces around her, she couldn't spot Milo, to see how he was going, or the twins, to make sure that everything was okay. Sighing, she decided she needed a breath of fresh air. Taking a detour, she started out of the room, walking down the hallway instead. A number of the rooms were open to the guests, and she hoped to find either the library to hide out in for a little while, or a balcony. Either one would offer her a chance to think over things.

The sound of the music grew fainter, and she peered into a room, finding it held a collection of books. With a delighted sound, she walked further into the room, quickly moving to the shelves. Her fingers trailed over the spines gently, loving the feel of them. This was the kind of room that she could lose herself in for days. Moving to the aisle behind, she reached to take one of the books out, opening it to have a peek at the first page. She froze however, at the sound of footsteps. It wasn't exactly appropriate for her to be wandering the house unaccompanied. Staying where she'd be hidden behind the shelf, she looked through a gap in a couple of the books, surprised to see one of the hosts themselves had ventured inside. The Duke walked in, loosening the cravat at his neck. He glanced at some papers on his desk, looking a little relieved to have a moment away from the guests. She supposed it would be exhausting socialising with them all, and they were certainly a needy bunch.

It wasn't long before she heard another voice, quickly spotting Savannah walking in. "How did I know I'd find you in here?" she said, with a slightly sultry laugh. She was quick to walk over to Blake, her fingers tightening around his arm and drawing him closer. "Don't tell me you've had enough, already."

He allowed her to pull him closer, although his posture remained stiff. "You're much better at these things, than I am," he replied, dryly. "No one will miss me."

"On the contrary, I will miss you," Savannah asserted, her voice lowering. "I like having you on my arm. And I like the thought of what we'll do later, even more."

"Savannah-…" Blake started in a kind of warning, before he was cut off when she shifted to kiss him. Her kiss was slow and intentional, and Blake seemed to relax a little as he returned it, leaning into her. It felt strange to witness such an intimate moment, and Steff quickly averted her gaze. She could hardly announce her presence now, and she kept carefully silent, holding her breath.

The way he looked at Savannah… Steff couldn't help but think that her romance books weren't all wrong. She had witnessed a happy match, after all, firsthand.

She could hear their hands roam, and it was both nerve wracking and thrilling at the same time, to be stuck there. What had possessed her to wander through the rooms on her own, she wasn't sure, but it hadn't been the wisest idea.

Finally, it sounded like they broke apart. "Mmm, my hair is going to be a mess now," Savannah remarked.

"I don't think that word could ever be used to describe you," Blake replied, a hint of dry amusement in his tone.

"Let's go back out and keep our guests happy, yes?" Savannah said, looking at him expectantly. "I know this isn't your kind of thing, but you did promise me this one night. Besides, I won't leave your side if you don't want me to."

"I know," Blake sighed, and she heard him straighten. "I didn't plan on… staying out here for long."

Savannah made a sound in approval, catching his hand and drawing him away, to the doorway. "This is our first time hosting as a married couple. We can't disappoint…" There was a glint in her eyes. "And I certainly won't disappoint you later, either."

As they started down the hallway, Steff couldn't quite catch Blake's reply, and she let out a sigh, smiling to herself. It was obvious that they cared for each other. It was nice to see such a thing really, when she often only had her parents as a real-life reference.

Setting the book back in place a little wistfully, she decided she'd better head back before she was caught in any other tricky situations. Perhaps she could ask to view their library another time.

Her cheeks were still warm after what she'd witnessed and heard, and she willed for them to cool, as she headed back towards the main room once she was sure they were gone.

Someone caught her arm, however, before she could step into the main room. She was quick to draw back, in case anyone saw, whirling around to find one of the twins. "Steff," he greeted, keeping his gaze on her. "I was hoping I might run into you. I'm… sorry about my brother the other day. I don't know what came over him."

She rushed to reassure him. "You don't need to apologise, it's fine. Really, it's my fault that I was so bad at the game. I didn't mean to cause any kind of tension."

"He'll be fine," he replied, brushing off her words a little, and she hesitated. His earlier words had sounded like something Connor would say, but somehow, it didn't feel like Connor. "But you really shouldn't come around again. I don't want to upset him."

The words stung, but she was still trying to place what felt so off. "I… understand."

He reached for her arm again, and she quickly pulled back, staring at him. "You're not Connor, are you?" she said, quietly. "I can tell you're not."

"How?" he demanded, his expression growing annoyed. She'd been right, it wasn't Connor at all.

Taking another step back, she gave him an uneasy look. "Why would you pretend to be your brother like that? I'm sorry if I offended you the other day, but you didn't need to try and trick me."

Cadyn folded his arms. "I still stand by what I said, you shouldn't come around anymore." He raised his chin. "You're just going for my brother because he'll be an Earl when our father passes, and he'll inherit all the estate and the money and everything. You just want him for his status," he accused. "Just like all the other girls. You don't actually like him. I was just trying to prove that to him. That you couldn't really tell us apart."

His words physically hurt, and she raised a hand to her heart. That he would think such a thing of her…. She couldn't help but stare at him in dismay. "Cadyn, I'm not looking for title or status or money or anything like that. I'm just looking for love. That's all. And I'm… just friends with your brother, anyway."

He narrowed his eyes, and she could tell he wasn't really listening. "I don't need you coming between us. Just stay away from my brother. It's not like he'd ever be interested in you, anyway."

Her next words were a soft murmur, lowering her gaze. "No, he wouldn't, would he?" There was hurt in her eyes as she turned away hurriedly. "I'll… get out of your way," she said, before she quickly started away towards the front door, brushing away some tears that fell on her cheeks. It wasn't the place to be caught crying, knowing it would only end up in the next day's column. She nearly ran into the footman in her haste, and he steadied her with a light hand.

"Are you quite alright?" he asked in obvious concern.

"No I-… Could you find my brother for me – Loki Tide," she asked, struggling to keep it together. "Tell him I need to leave now." The footman was quick to signal to their carriage, and kind enough to go and find her brother in the crowds for her. Standing outside, all she could do was shiver as she waited, and it was not only from the cold.


Dearest Reader,

If you were not invited to the event of the season at Apsley House, then you surely missed out. The Duke and Duchess of Wellington put on quite the show, with lavish food, music, decorations and dancing. In fact, the Duke and Duchess even led the first dance. Seeing them together, one can only deduce that they are quite happily married. The Duke stole many gazes at the Duchess, and she in turn, could not seem to keep her hands off him.

The Duchess was the perfect host and the picture of elegance, gracefully socialising with all of the guests. The Duke while more reserved – as he is known to be – still made a valiant effort and stayed there entertaining until late at night. Once again, they have proven to be a power couple.

One can only hope that there will be plenty more promising matches ahead. Although it is doubtful that any can top them.

There was also some drama to be had. Still in the early hours of the night, Miss Stephanie Tide was seen in an argument with one of the Kodeki twins in the hallway. The young lady walked away in tears, so one can only assume that the conversation did not go well for her. She left straight afterwards, in a hurry. One can only wonder what it might have been about…

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

ooOoo

Slamming down the latest Lady Whistledown column on the table as he entered the dining room, Connor glared at his brother. "What did you do? What did you say to Steff?" he demanded.

Cadyn looked up from his breakfast with an annoyed frown. "I don't know what you're talking about," he muttered, reaching to pick up the article and skim it.

"Right down the bottom there," Connor accused, leaning forwards to point to it. "It says she was in tears."

"I can't help it if she took my words the wrong way," his brother replied, brushing it off.

"What did you say?" Connor asked again, through gritted teeth, only just resisting the urge to grab his brother and shake him.

"I don't know. I just tried to catch her out. I said how she was only interested in you for your money and title and all that," Cadyn shrugged.

"Do you even know her at all?" Connor asked, incredulously. "She's the biggest dreamer and romantic around. Anyway, no one even said she's interested in me." He banged a hand against the newspaper which rested on the table, making a noise and causing his brother to jump. "Now she's got a bad write up in Lady Whistledown's column. How could you do that to her? That could affect her chances."

"I didn't know Lady Whistledown would go and write about it," Cadyn defended, but it didn't make Connor look any happier.

Turning, he stalked out of the room. "Where are you going? You haven't even had breakfast," Cadyn yelled out to him, and Connor rolled his eyes, as if the answer was obvious.

"I'm going to apologise to her. What else?"


Upon making it to Steff's house, Connor realised that he'd never really been inside, because she never invited him in. Hopefully it was just to do with her parents not approving such a thing, rather than her not wanting him inside.

When he'd knocked on the door, one of the staff had greeted him, and led him to a room upstairs to wait as they went to fetch Steff. It seemed however to be taking a while, and he couldn't help but snoop. They'd passed a room that had looked like Steff's, with a single bed and a desk covered with various books and papers, and he headed towards it. Hopefully she'd forgive his curiosity.

Making his way over to the desk, he picked up a couple of the books, glancing at the cover and the back to see what they were about. They were all different romance novels, no surprise. Something fell out of the inside of one, and he set the book down, picking up the slip of paper. It was one of Lady Whistledown's articles, although it wasn't the most recent one, instead being one from earlier in the season. Putting it back in place, he glanced at the various writing utensils, seeing a goose feather quill. There were some drawers, and he opened them up, deciding there was no point in stopping now. Rifling through them, he drew out a package hidden right at the bottom. Opening it up, he pulled out some of the sheets of paper, staring at them. "What…?" Staring dumfounded at them, his gaze skimmed over them. At first, he'd thought perhaps it was just an attempt at some writing, but then he'd looked most closely at them.

They were all handwritten original copies, of various articles signed by Lady Whistledown. Not only that, but the handwriting was distinctly her neat writing. The only reason Steff would have copies of the original was if she herself was Lady Whistledown.

ooOoo

When the footman came to alert Steff that Connor had come to visit, she'd been surprised, having expected to have not heard from either of the twins again in a long while. Cadyn had made that clear enough. Despite her sadness at how Cadyn had acted, she still couldn't help a slight hint of hope at the fact that Connor had come to visit.

However, when she'd made it to the sitting room, Connor wasn't there. Heading back down the hallway, she followed a rustling sound, hesitating when she realised it was coming from her room. What if he saw… Swallowing, she made it to the door, with some trepidation, finding that her worst fears had come true.

Connor was holding some of her writing, whirling to face her. "What the hell, Steff? You're Lady Whistledown?" he practically yelled, and she flinched.

"Please, keep your voice down," she said, glancing out into the hallway nervously. If anyone heard, she would be in a lot of trouble, and not just with her family.

"So you don't deny it," Connor stated darkly, although he did thankfully lower his voice. "It's been you all along?" He sounded betrayed or hurt, as if he was holding it personally against her. "You couldn't trust me with something like this? Is that it? Aren't I meant to be your friend?"

She didn't know what to say, the words not coming quickly enough to her. No one else knew, and she could only feel sick with worry. "Of course you're my friend…"

Releasing the pieces of paper, Connor let them fall to the ground. He was furious, she could tell, and he pushed past her, moving out into the hallway.

Finally, she managed to unfreeze herself, reaching out for him. "Connor wait-… Please, just let me explain," she begged, but he didn't stop, just brushing her off.

"Don't bother," he said flatly, and his strides down the hallway were long and quick, so she wouldn't be able to keep up.

"Connor…" There was no point when he was already gone. Sinking to the floor, she couldn't help a sob, collecting the papers and staining the pages with her tears. He hated her now, she was certain of it, and she'd only messed everything up.


Weeks passed, and Steff didn't hear a word from Connor. He stopped coming to any of the events, and when she'd tried to visit his manor, she'd been turned away every time by an apologetic footman.

At first, she'd felt like crying every time she thought of it. But then finally, she just felt numb. It was her fault that she had lost one of her closest childhood friends. A heavy cloud of guilt and regret had settled over her, making it harder to breathe than her dresses usually did. It would be her punishment, if he never forgave her, and she would accept it silently. What he must think of her, she could only imagine, without the opportunity to explain.

Steff was also more anxious and apprehensive than ever, waiting to see if he would reveal her secret to anyone. She wasn't used to seeing him angry, and there was no telling what he might do. She deserved that punishment too – already able to imagine the looks of disdain that she would be given by others in high society, and the fact that her family would never let her out of the house again. Somehow though, the thought of losing his friendship was worse than all of that.

When she wasn't at home doing chores, she ventured out to visit either Milo or Rose, glad that she still had some friends she could call on.

Sitting beside Rye's bed, she picked up Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. It was a departure from her usual romance books, but it was whimsical and more appropriate and fun for his age group. They were already halfway through, and she had the page neatly bookmarked. Opening it up, she gave Rye a smile, making sure he was settled and comfortable on the bed, before she continued reading.

It was easy to get lost in such a world of fantasy, where everything worked out in the end. Steff felt like both Rye and she needed that – to be reassured of the fact that sometimes things did work out. She tried her best to vary her tone for different characters, wanting to make it fun for Rye and engrossing. She could only dream of writing something so interesting, imaginative, and popular. Some dreams were unattainable certainly, but it didn't mean her thoughts couldn't linger on them, at times.

When it was time for Rye to take his medication, she paused, waiting as one of the maids came in to give it to him. It was only then, that she realised Milo had been leaning against the door and listening. She wasn't sure how long for.

"Mister Althaus-… Milo," she corrected as she set the book down on the bedside table, rising to her feet and giving a curtsy. "I didn't realise you'd returned."

"I wanted to hear you read for a little while," Milo said with a smile on the edge of his lips. "You're good at it."

She blushed lightly, at the compliment. "Oh, well I try my best."

"Walk with me for a bit, will you?" he asked, beckoning her towards the door. "Rye needs a moment to rest, anyway."

Steff gave Rye's arm a quick squeeze in farewell with a smile, watching as the maid helped him get settled. "Have a good sleep, Rye," she said, before moving to follow Milo out into the hallway. Rose's maid wasn't always available to accompany her on her trips, and when she was coming to visit Rye, she didn't worry so much.

"Rye really loves you," Milo remarked as they walked, glancing at her sidelong. "You're the closest thing he's had to a sister."

"He's a sweet kid," she replied, easily. She'd always loved children and the gentle innocence they had about them. They could get lost in their imagination in a way that adults never could. She'd always loved the thought of having children herself one day, but that was a little more than she could wish for. "I don't think it would be possible not to like him. I just do what I can, anyway."

They fell into a comfortable silence, as they wandered the hallways, stopping briefly to glance out the windows that they passed.

She realised after a moment that he was watching her from the side, and she looked over to meet his gaze. "You seem… a little down lately," Milo observed. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry. I didn't realise it was so obvious," Steff said after a pause. She inhaled slowly, thinking that maybe it would help to share, a little. "I've offended a good friend of mine, and I fear that perhaps he won't forgive me. It has been weighing heavily on my mind."

"I can't imagine you offending anyone," Milo said with a soft laugh, before catching her rather melancholy expression, and becoming more serious again. "Really though, I'm sure that he'll forgive you eventually. You're the most sincere person that I know. Surely he'll realise that."

His words hurt, because she hadn't been entirely sincere. She'd kept a big secret, but she'd never wanted to hurt anyone. "Maybe," she replied, swallowing. Or maybe not. "Anyway, it's been nice to be able to come and spend some time here, so I have to thank you for that."

"You're hardly the one that should be thanking me," he said with a chuckle, and he came to a stop suddenly, reaching for one of her hands.

Surprised, her eyes widened, and she let him take it.

"I realise that we haven't known each other for an entirely long time," Milo remarked, meeting her gaze. "But I'd like to think we've developed a friendship, even in this short time. You asked me once what I was looking for in a wife. I mentioned someone who can help with my responsibilities and someone who can get along well with my family. You have proven both of those to me. Rye adores you, and my parents like you, too," he said, pausing to take a breath. "I'm really saying all this because… I wanted to see if you'd consider marrying me."

Steff froze, her fingers tightening on his for a moment. The question had come out of nowhere, and she felt utterly unprepared, no matter how much she had dreamed of being asked. "I-… I am honoured that you'd ask me," she said, stumbling over her words a little. "And I have enjoyed becoming friends with you as well." She still felt a little stunned, unable to properly react. "Is it okay if I have some time to consider before I answer?" she asked, feeling a little bad for delaying. "I just don't think I'm in the right headspace to be able to make any big decisions. And I feel this is not a decision that should be rushed."

"Of course," Milo replied, inclining his head. "I don't mean to spring this on you, especially when you are worried about other things. It's just been on my mind."

"Thank you," Steff replied, giving him a grateful smile. "I am glad you asked, really. I just need to process things, is all."

"Of course. Take your time - there's no rush," Milo replied, inclining his head.

As Milo walked her back to her carriage, she still felt a little lost for words, still not quite believing that someone had asked her after all the time she'd spent waiting and dreaming about such a thing.


Lunch with Rose had been her next adventure out planned, and Steff didn't want to miss it, despite her conflicted feelings.

Being there however, it was obvious that she wasn't entirely present, as she stirred her spoon around the soup bowl, absentmindedly.

"What is it, Steff?" Rose frowned, as she watched her. "You're hardly eaten a thing." It was a little ironic coming from Rose when she hardly ate anything at the best of times, but it was admittedly unlike herself.

"Oh, sorry," she said, setting her soup spoon down so she wouldn't keep playing with it. "It's just… there's a lot going on."

"Is this still about Connor?" she asked, tilting her head to the side questioningly.

"That and…" Steff inhaled. "Milo has asked me to marry him – although I haven't given him an answer yet."

Rose practically squealed in excitement, barely managing to keep still. "Steff, that's so exciting! Why on earth haven't you said yes, yet?"

It was a valid question, and she couldn't help the fact that her spirits were still not recovered. "It's hard to think of anything like that when Connor won't even talk to me," she sighed. "How can I think of marriage and such things when I haven't been able to fix things between us?" Of course, Rose didn't know the true reason that Connor was so angry with her. But she thankfully had let her incessant questions regarding that matter go. "It just feels wrong."

Rose frowned, leaning against the table. "Really Steff, you shouldn't worry so much. If Connor won't forgive you, then it's his loss. You've still got to live your life." She caught Steff's sad expression at the thought, before she sat up straighter. "I know what you should do. If Connor won't see you, then you should send him a letter," she suggested, her eyes lighting up at the idea. "You're good at writing, so you'll word it well. My father writes to my Mum and I when he's off travelling." Rose's Dad was always away travelling, and often they didn't hear from him for long periods of time. At least he sent something, every now and again, she supposed.

"That's a great idea, Rose," Steff said, after a bit of thought, nodding. "At least then I can explain things and apologise. That will make me feel a little better."

Rose beamed at the fact that she liked her idea. "Great! Well, you'd better get onto it, then."

"Yes, I had better do that," she agreed, her expression lightening at the thought of being able to actively do something, rather than just sitting around and waiting.


Sitting down at her desk after Steff had been careful to make sure her door was closed, she picked up her feathered quill, dipping the nib in the inkwell, before scraping the excess off. She stared at the blank writing paper. How was she to convey everything that she wanted to say? Somehow, it felt like the most important thing she had ever written.

Setting the nib of the feathered quill to the page, she started to write, the words flowing out of her, as she tried her best to explain things. She kept her hand light, and the words neatly written, so that it could be easily read.

When she finished, she leaned back in her chair and read over it at least three times. Hopefully he would read it.

It wasn't her best writing ever, but it was honest, and she didn't skip around the truth.

At least she felt like she had made an effort to mend things, even if she couldn't be sure whether it would help or not.

ooOoo

Dear Connor,

I have tried to visit you a number of times these past few weeks, and I understand that you don't want to see me. I will respect your wishes and I won't try to call on you again. I only hope that you might read my letter and try to understand why I did what I did. Wanting to hurt you was certainly never my intention.

My world is very different to yours. I don't have any money to my name, and after an unsuccessful first season out, it appears that I might yet end up a spinster, stuck here living with my family. I don't want to go into specifics in this letter, but they can be… unkind to me. I cannot live here forever – I do not think that I could stand it.

Writing as Lady Whistledown has allowed me the freedom of making my own wage and saving up some money, so that one day, I can hopefully live on my own, far away from them. I know that you are close to your own family, so you might not understand this sentiment. But I have nothing and no freedom without this outlet.

No one is interested in the books that I might like to write, or in a female writer, unless it is centred around society's gossip. While it is not my preferred subject matter as such, I am merely writing what they want to read. What will sell. I have been hoping that someday when I earn enough, I can give it up.

The reason I didn't tell you, is that I didn't want you caught up in this. I didn't want you to have to lie everyday like I do. It can be tiring, and it can weigh you down. I didn't want that for you. It is not that I didn't trust you, like you assumed. Of course, I have wanted to tell you a thousand times over, and it's been so hard to keep it a secret. I hate lying to anyone, and especially to you.

I appreciate the fact that you have kept my secret quiet for all these weeks. That is kind of you. If the author of the columns is ever revealed, they will undoubtedly be in a lot of trouble. Society will rise up against me and hold me accountable for some of the things I have written. I'd be an outcast from society and rejected. I realise that writing this all in a letter as a kind of evidence is risky, but you are my friend, and I am showing you that I do trust you. If, however you are angry enough to not be able to let this go, and you do tell someone, then… I will understand that too. Perhaps that is what I deserve.

I only hope that someday you may be able to forgive me and that maybe you might be able to understand why I had to do this in the first place. I miss you, and I hope you know how much I value our friendship.

From your friend,

Stephanie Tide

ooOoo

Clutching the letter tight in her hands, Steff walked up to the front door of the Kodeki manor. She had tried to explain things as well as she could, and it felt like her heart had been laid bare, unused to feeling so vulnerable.

She raised a hand to knock, before she paused in surprise when the door swung open before she could. It was Cadyn, who answered the door, she quickly deduced.

"What are you doing here?" he frowned, looking down at her. "You know he doesn't want to see you."

"I know," she said, hesitating for a moment, before she held the letter out to him. "And I won't bother you again. But could you please give him this letter? I just want the chance to explain, if I could. I would be really grateful if you could do this one thing for me."

He eyed her for a long moment, before taking the letter. "… Fine. I'll get it to him," he said, with a sigh. "But I can't guarantee any reply."

Steff gave a small nod, stepping back. "I understand. Thank you, Cadyn. I… hope everything is well with you both."

He tucked the letter under his jacket, giving her a nod in return. "It will be," he replied, and she gave him a small smile, before she started away, back to her carriage.

She could only hope that Connor would read the letter, and that it wouldn't get into the wrong hands.


Dearest Reader,

I have taken a little hiatus from writing due to personal matters, but I am still here observing society, as always.

There have been many events since I last wrote, so I will recap some of the notable happenings.

The Kodeki twins have been noticeably absent from any of these events. Perhaps they have tired of attending them, especially since they never really enjoyed them in the first place.

Miss Rose Blacktree has had a couple of gentlemen suitors calling on her, much to her delight. We can only wish her well in her endeavours.

Viscount Zachary Springfeather and Miss Gabriela have married in what was a touching and memorable ceremony with both of their families in attendance. It included the Viscount's brother, despite the rumours that surround him. It is admittedly hard to find a tighter-knit family than the Springfeathers.

There is also a rumour that Miss Stephanie Tide has been given an offer of marriage. This is a surprise, considering her status as a wallflower last season. Perhaps she has started to blossom in her own way. While reports as to who has asked her are inconclusive, we are sure to find out soon enough.

Sincerely,

Lady Whistledown


Reading Steff's letter had finally drawn Connor out of his self-imposed isolation and bad mood. It had been selfish of him to only think of his own feelings and not of hers and her own reasons for writing the column. He hadn't even given her a chance to explain herself. Perhaps if he went to see her, he could attempt to fix what had been broken between them.

However, on arriving at her house, he was told that she wasn't inside. The footman had however, pointed him towards the garden and a particular stream that ran through it. When he started over that way, as expected, she was there, sitting on a seat by the edge of the stream, a book in her hand. He watched her from the side with a smile on the edge of his lips. She looked deep in concentration as she read it, the breeze making a blue ribbon in her hair stir, as if waving to him. It was easy to tell when she was reading that she was well and truly in her element.

He cleared his throat as he came closer, so that she would know he was there, and she startled, quickly setting her book down and rising to her feet. As she turned to him, she gasped, staring at him. "Connor?" she said, quickly. "What are you…?"

"I came to apologise," he said, embarrassed at his actions and it showed in his expression. "I should've given you a chance to explain yourself. I'm sorry to have acted so selfishly."

"It is I who needs to apologise," she said, lowering her gaze. "I wish I could have told you. I really do. I never wanted to hurt you and I understand if you hate me, or if you hate my writing-…"

He quietened her by setting a hand under her chin and raising it gently, to meet his gaze. "I could never hate you, Steff," he said, softly. Her cheeks were tinted a rosy pink, and she looked so beautiful standing there, that his breath caught. He could have easily kissed her then and there, if it wasn't for the fact that it was inappropriate, both in general, and for the fact that they were friends. "I was hurt that you couldn't tell me about this, but after reading your letter, I get it, now. I wasn't really thinking."

"Oh… I'm glad," she said, swallowing as she met his gaze, a hint of shyness to her own.

"And I don't hate your writing, either," he added, slowly drawing his hand back, lest he do anything he shouldn't. "My brother and I have actually always admired it. The fact that someone could write in such a witty and honest away about the happenings here. You never cease to make us laugh. That's why we have always been so interested in finding out the author. It's like the epitome of a prank, and that's our favourite thing to do. Of course, we would never be able to write as eloquently as you do, though," he admitted with a grin.

Steff of course was a little more humble about it. "I merely write what people want to read. I am the voice of the town, in a way," she admitted. "Reporting on what people say or do."

He watched her for a moment longer, thinking. "But you've said some unkind things about yourself," he pointed out. "Were those bits necessary?"

She gave him a subtle smile. "Well, I could hardly let everyone know it was me, now could I?"

He couldn't argue with that, although he hoped that she didn't really think them of herself. "You've hardly mentioned my brother and I that much," he said, raising an eyebrow. "We were feeling left out."

"Sorry," she said with an easy laugh at his words, and he could tell that any tension was gone as she relaxed. "But I didn't want to say anything bad about you. Besides, neither of you get involved in a lot of things, so you manage to stay out of most drama."

"Until lately, at least," Connor replied a little wryly, towards himself. "You know, we admire Lady Whistledown so much that we've kept every column you've written? We haven't missed reading one."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Really?" she said, the blush to her cheeks deepening. "That is a big compliment, if you liked them so much that you kept them."

"You never know when a bit of dirt on someone might be needed," he shrugged, his words and his gaze light. "And your secret is safe with me, of course."

She gave a quick laugh, before she visibly hesitated. "So, we are… still friends?" she asked, tentatively.

This was the part where he could accept, and they could move on and everything could go back to normal. How it had always been. But he couldn't help but pause, the latest article still fresh in his thoughts. "I um…" He didn't know how to word it, growing awkward and stilted, as he often tended to do, when he didn't know how to express himself.

She watched him patiently, waiting for him to continue. "What is it?"

"I have to admit something. If I don't say it now, then it might be too late. It might already be too late," he half rambled, avoiding her gaze. "I don't want to mess up our friendship, I really don't. But neither do I want to forever regret not saying this."

He could tell she seemed worried, because she didn't know what it was about. "You can tell me," she urged. "It's okay."

"I've liked you for years," he finally admitted, lowering his voice. "You are intelligent and beautiful and kind. It's taken me this long to realise it, but you're the only one – besides my brother – who actually understands me and sees me for who I really am. You don't confuse me with my brother or act like we're the same person like everyone else does. You just get me, Steff. And maybe I've left this all too late, because I read your latest column, and I know you already got a marriage offer. But I'd be kicking myself if I didn't say that I love you. And-… And I'd like to marry you if I could, and I should've asked ages ago."

He felt incredibly nervous, not used to stating such feelings, or being so open about things pertaining to himself. And she was much too quiet, looking like she was trying to process his words. "Sorry," he blurted out, quickly turning away. "I have made a mess of things, haven't I?" He'd finally realised his feelings for her, and it was much too late. Perhaps now he'd mess up even their friendship.

She caught his arm before he could get too far, gently urging him to turn back to her. "No, Connor," she said quickly, her cheeks endearingly red. Releasing his arm, her fingers raised to brush some hair away from his face, in a strangely intimate moment. "You haven't. I'm just a little stunned. I did not know that anyone could love me." Why on earth she could think that, he didn't know. "I care for you deeply and I… I love you too," she said, with a soft smile. "Of course I'd like to marry you."

It was hard to believe her words, and he smiled tentatively, trying to process it himself. He felt a wave of relief wash over him, having been expecting the worst.

"What about Cadyn?" she asked after a pause, drawing her hand back.

"My brother is… my one request," he admitted. "You know how close we are. We've always said that although I'll inherit the house, we've both sworn to live at the same house, whether we get married or not." Cadyn had never seemed interested in marriage, so he'd always known it would mean such a thing. "So there will always need to be a room for him."

"That's fine, of course. I know how inseparable you are," Steff assured him. "I only meant, will he be okay with this?"

"He wants me to be happy, ultimately, so he'll come around," Connor said, confident enough in that fact. "He does actually like you, so it's not that. He just has to get used to the idea." He looked over at her. "What about you… any requests? I do not want to be the only one demanding things."

She gave a slight smile, before looking a little nervous. "I would… I would like to have children, at some point. I just thought you should know that."

He'd always been able to tell that she liked kids, so it did not come as a surprise. "Right, and how many kids would you like?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh well…" He really could never get sick of her blushes. "I don't need to put a number on it as such. But I've always liked the thought of a big family. Although that depends on a number of different factors, I realise."

Tilting his head to the side, he gave a light laugh. "Got it, I'll be sure to keep that in mind." She seemed to relax at his reply, looking both happy and relieved. "I have an expansive library that you can lose yourself in whenever you'd like. And I'll buy you whatever books you desire. I promise."

"That is kind of you," she said, and he got the strange feeling that she was unused to such an offer or any kind of generosity.

"We'll have to decide on a wedding date, and plan all of that stuff," he said, to brush off her gratitude. "I'll need to meet with your parents, of course. My parents are still travelling out of town, but I can make sure they are back in time for the wedding."

He noticed that she looked a little nervous at the mention of meeting her parents. It wasn't that he'd never met them before - they'd obviously crossed paths - but he couldn't think of many times he'd actually talked to them for long, beside the occasional greeting. "Don't worry, I'll be on my best behaviour," he assured her.

"It's not you that I'm worried about," she replied, although he didn't push her to say more on the matter when she didn't elaborate. "Sit with me for a bit, would you?"

Obliging, he moved to sit down beside her, picking up her book to see what it was. "Ah, your favourite," he easily identified it as, when he saw the title.

"Yes," she smiled, "Pride and Prejudice always has been a favourite of mine. I do like a good romance."

Setting the book down beside him again, he looked over at her. "She's a lady author. It's not unheard of anymore, you know. You could write something else. Your own kind of romance."

She gave him a nervously shy look. "No one would want to read it."

"I would want to read it," he asserted, even if it wasn't his usual genre. He liked reading about history and learning different languages, but that didn't mean he didn't want to read anything she wrote.

"That's nice of you to say," she said, after a tentative pause. "Maybe I will, someday."

"I'll support whatever you want to do," he said, and he meant it. Staring at her for a moment longer, he spoke without thinking. "This is kind of inappropriate to ask, but can I kiss you?" he asked, before giving a quick laugh. They might have just been engaged, but that still didn't exactly make it appropriate. "Sorry. My thoughts are getting away from me."

"No, I'd… I'd like that," she said, turning to face him better, her fingers carefully smoothing down her dress nervously.

It suddenly felt very real. He'd always been careful to try and treat her as a friend, and this was certainly the opposite of that. Leaning forwards, he cupped her cheek with his hand, and her lips moved to meet his in a kiss. It was soft and featherlight, as if neither of them could quite believe it, everything still new and nerve-racking, but in a decidedly good way. It was like a promise of things to come. Finally, they broke apart, neither wanting to push things too far. "I should go," he said, with a small smile, before he rose to his feet, and she got up after him. If he stayed there any longer, he might have been inclined to make more bad decisions and to act on certain urges. "Start getting things ready. I'll see you soon, Steff."

"See you soon, Connor," she replied, with a shy smile in return, and he kissed the back of her hand briefly, before he started away.

Things had worked out better then he could have ever expected, feeling a sharp and overwhelming sense of relief that he hadn't been too late.


Steff had been gentle when she had let Milo down and declined his offer – she certainly did not want to hurt his feelings in any way. She'd never expected to receive two offers of marriage. She didn't even feel deserving of such a thing. She sensed that she'd only be in the way of Milo and his brother and their precious time together. From what she'd heard, Rye didn't exactly have long – having taken a recent turn for the worst - and it was best if his brother was free to concentrate on him instead, rather than an upcoming wedding.

That was of course not the only reason she had turned him down. She had made it clear that she'd been looking for love, and while she had found friendship with him, she had not had time to develop deeper feelings towards him. Whereas Connor… Connor was someone she cared deeply for, and she had always felt lighter when she was in his presence. He had been kind to her and listened to her, and perhaps it had taken her until then to truly understand what love was. That friendship could develop into something more and that it did not always have to be instant and more superficial, like it could sometimes be in her romance books. That two people could grow together, in time. Maybe this was better than what she'd ever imagined.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her parents and her brother joined her in the carriage, and her nervousness returned. Connor had invited her family over to his family's manor home to discuss their marriage. She had no idea how the night would go or what kind of mood her father might be in. Would he be happy to be rid of her, or the opposite? She wasn't sure.

Her brother sat beside her, and she moved over to make more room, although he was quick to take it all up, not giving her any space.

Her mother was quiet and meek as she sat beside her father on the other side of the carriage, her gaze far from there as she looked out the window absently.

"What kind of dowry is he expecting?" was the first thing her father asked her, and she could feel his gaze on her.

"… I don't know," she answered honestly, realising they hadn't even talked about such a thing. Of course her father's mind would go to money, and she should have thought of it earlier. She was a dreamer as always, and had got so caught up in things. Only now did the practical things bring her back down from her high, reminding her of the issues.

"Will he be paying for the wedding?"

"I… don't know," she answered again, her fingers going to her hair to play with it in a nervous gesture, and Loki snickered, beside her.

"Well, I don't plan on spending even a pound on it. This is why I never wanted to have a daughter. They cost too much," he complained, and she flinched, subtly. "And what of your mother? What will she do without a maid? Are you really such a selfish daughter – leaving her with nothing?"

It was normal for young ladies to marry and leave the house, but if she pointed that fact out, he would not be happy about it.

Her mother finally looked over at them. "It's okay, I-…"

"No, it's not okay," he interrupted, narrowing his eyes. "Your mother deserves more than that."

"S-sorry," Steff stammered, not knowing what else to say. She felt bad enough about leaving her as it was. She was not unused to feelings of worthlessness, and she found as always, that she was unable to push them away, quietly retreating into herself.

Her father gave her a disappointed look, and the rest of the carriage ride was thankfully cloaked in silence. If her father's mood was anything to judge by, she didn't think it would be a particularly pleasant dinner.

ooOoo

As the footman led Steff's family to the dining room, Connor felt his nerves increase. Maybe he should have gone to meet them in their carriage. As he paced the room, Cadyn grabbed his arm.

"Calm down," he said, watching him. "It'll be fine. There's no reason to get stressed. If anything, her family will be impressed with your higher rank."

Except there was reason to be stressed, because Connor was unpractised in such things, and he certainly didn't know Steff's family well. And when he was nervous, he often grew awkward, a little glad that his brother was there to help fill in the silences or pauses – not that he was always the best at such things, either.

As the footman showed them into the room, he inclined his head respectfully, watching as they entered. Her parents entered first – he couldn't help but think how similar Steff looked to her mother – before Loki entered, and then Steff. Admittedly, he'd never been keen on her brother, but he didn't think they were particularly close, so he didn't suppose it would be too much of a problem. Steff herself looked noticeably anxious, and he supposed he wasn't the only one. "Lord Tide, Lady Tide, it is a pleasure to have you over tonight," he said, politely. "Thank you for coming."

Steff's mother did a curtsy, while her father glanced between him and his brother, before looking over at him. "You must be Lord Kodeki – the one my daughter seeks to marry?"

"Yes, that would be me," he said, clearing his throat. "I seek to get your approval, of course, to marry her. Steff has been a dear friend to me for a long time, and we have come to this decision together."

"But the father should have the final say, yes?" he remarked, raising an eyebrow, his tone a little rude.

"Of course," Connor replied, as smoothly as he could. "I hope you'll join us for dinner, so we can talk it over."

They were shown to their seats, with Connor and Steff on one side, and her parents on the other. Loki sat on the end closer to Steff, and his own brother on the end closer to him. It wasn't a usual kind of table arrangement, but Connor had never been a stickler for such things.

The entrée that was served first was a pumpkin soup, something that he hoped would be enough to please everyone. He'd left the choices in their chef's capable hands, after all.

Steff leaned over to him subtly. "Sorry," she said, quietly.

"What for?" he asked under his breath, as some bread was served to go with the soup.

"I do not think my father is going to make this easy," she sighed, sounding worried.

He gave a subtle nod to show he'd heard, thinking over her words. All he needed was to appease him long enough to get the approval… Right? As long as he kept a straight head, it should be okay.

Her father looked over at him, as if appraising him. "So, you are the older one, yes? You will inherit everything when your father passes away?"

Connor avoided looking over at his brother, knowing he would find it a little offensive. "Yes, that's me. I'm the one who will get all the responsibility."

"Mmm, I see Stephanie has picked the better match of the two," Loki said mockingly, and Steff inhaled sharply, looking over at her brother.

"It has nothing to do with that, Loki," she said firmly, her cheeks warm in her annoyance.

"Really, my brother is the more fun one, so maybe she'll regret it one day," Connor replied lightly, although there was a warning in his gaze when he looked over at him, sipping carefully at his soup. "Who knows?"

But it seemed her brother wasn't finished just yet. "Or maybe she plans on having both of you. Seems like the kind of immoral thing she might do, right? All of those ridiculous books might have gotten to her head."

Steff's spoon slipped from her hand, landing in the soup, and she looked beyond embarrassed.

Connor was ready to get to his feet and fire back at him, but his brother fired back a comment in a sarcastically languid manner, to keep him from escalating anything. "Careful, or you'll sound a little jealous."

It was hard for him to say calm when Loki mocked her like that, and his grip tightened on his own soup spoon. He needed to redirect the conversation elsewhere. "Lady Tide," he said, looking over at her mother. "How has your week been?"

She looked surprised at being spoken to, as if she was a deer caught in a hunter's trap. "It has been fine, thank you."

It seemed as if she was reluctant to speak too much, her husband speaking up for her. "She is a busy woman, taking care of our household. It is a big responsibility," he said, taking her hand. "That is not something that I quite know whether my daughter will be up to."

Connor was a little stunned at how rudely they talked about her. "I think she will do perfectly fine," he said, finally. "You would do well to not underestimate her."

Her father raised his chin. "I don't know what kind of dowry you're expecting, but I don't plan on giving anything."

"I don't need anything, anyway," Connor said, trying to keep a hold of himself. "We can forgo the dowry. That's not what's important to me."

Steff gave him a small smile from the side, and he hated seeing how on edge she looked, her fingers sifting nervously through her hair. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and take one of her hands, but it wouldn't exactly be looked well upon. They fell into a part silence as they all ate their soup – with the exception of himself who was too angry to eat, and Steff, who had barely touched hers. Cadyn, thankfully, talked to them about a fencing tourney they'd participated in, giving everyone a moment to collect themselves. He appreciated the fact that his brother was trying to be there for him.

As their soup plates were cleared away, they waited for the next dish.

Her father spoke up again. "You must understand that I need to raise my concerns. My daughter is not the best match for a soon-to-be Earl. She does not have much more worth than a maid, and she would be better fitted as one. She would be an undesirable match, in my opinion. I do not want you to be disappointed, is all."

"Do not want me to be…" It was the last straw, and he pushed his seat out loudly, rising to his feet. "You would do well not to speak about my future wife in such a way," he said, narrowing his eyes in anger. "All you have done is insulted her all night. You neglect to mention the fact that she's kind and caring and probably much more intelligent than I am. It is I that is lucky to be marrying her. You should watch your tongue."

The rest of the table got to their feet, and Cadyn moved to grab his arm before he'd do something he might forget.

"How dare you speak to me like that," her father seethed. "You will not get my blessing. We will be leaving now."

"Yes, I think you should," Cadyn said, glaring at him.

Taking the arm of his wife, Lord Tide started to the doorway. "Stephanie, hurry up," he ordered.

"Steff, stay here," Connor implored her, as his brother released his arm. "Don't go back with them, please. I can't stand the thought of you living with that."

The look she gave him was beyond sad. "I can't," she swallowed. "It wouldn't be appropriate – for either of our reputations. I won't do something that will hurt you. As much as… I'd like to stay."

Trust her to be thinking of his reputation, rather than her own safety. "Steff-…" he said, watching as her brother grabbed her wrist, pulling her towards the exit.

She didn't resist, her posture slumping as she followed, and he felt a little sick. "I'm sorry," he said, still feeling a little stunned.

They left soon afterwards, and Connor could only stare at his brother in dismay. "They're awful to her," he said, realising now that she'd downplayed it a lot in the past. Now, he could really understand her letter.

"Yeah," Cadyn agreed, meeting his gaze. "I don't know how she's put up with it all these years. I had no idea."

Neither had he, and he felt bad that he'd been such a terrible friend and had never realised.


Steff had been locked in her bedroom for a whole week. She had grown tired of staring at the four walls, or what she could see out of the window.

After the dinner, her father had decided to lock her in there. She still received meals periodically, although not entirely regularly – enough that she had to wonder when the next one might be.

He had been furious with her, for humiliating him, as he had put it, even if she had barely spoken a word at the dinner. She hadn't dared to, because she'd known he'd take offense to anything she might say.

There was no point writing any Lady Whistledown articles. A week was a long time to be barred from society, and she didn't know any of the latest gossip. Besides, she couldn't release any articles when she was stuck in her room. She wondered vaguely, if her absence paired with the lack of articles might give it away.

Sitting by the window, she rested her head against the ledge, staring out. If Connor was completely turned off her, she wouldn't be surprised. Her family was enough to do that.

But there was a part of her that didn't think she deserved him. He was to be an Earl, and she was the daughter of a Baron who gambled away all of his money, and wasn't exactly invited to events in polite society. She had acted as a maid many times, and she had nothing to give of value. She was a nobody, and certainly not a proper Lady.

Perhaps he would be better off with someone else. Someone prettier and funnier and richer. Someone who had not been broken a long time ago. Reaching up, she wiped away a tear that had formed.

She felt like every day she was stuck in there, a little piece of her withered away.


Connor hadn't heard from Steff in two weeks, and he was more than a little worried. He wasn't exactly welcome in their house, so it hadn't been a surprise when he'd been sent away. He instead decided to seek out information by other means.

Making his way to Miss Blacktree's house – he'd decided to walk because she didn't live too far away, and it was a nice enough day – he knocked on her door. A footman was quick to greet her and usher him inside to the waiting room. A seat was offered to him, but he couldn't bring himself to sit down, instead pacing the room. Luckily, Rose turned up not long after.

"Mister Kodeki," she said with a quick curtsy. "To what do I owe the pleasure? I think a congratulations are in order, for starters, on your engagement. I'm so excited for you both."

He cleared his throat, giving a brief nod. "Just Connor is fine," he said, never one for stiff formalities. "I uh-… Have you heard anything from Steff lately?"

Her expression fell. "No, I haven't," she admitted, looking dismayed by this fact, and she lowered her voice. "But I… have heard some rumours, though."

Connor gestured for her to continue impatiently. "Like what?"

"I've heard through my maid that she's been locked in her room," she said, with a swallow. "I worry about her."

"That's barbaric," he frowned, unable to hide his worry. "I fear it's my fault. We had a dinner with her family that went… badly to say the least. I can't believe the way they talked about her."

Rose didn't look surprised, as if she already knew how strained the relations were. "I'm sorry to hear it didn't go well. It's no surprise though, really. They likely won't want to let her go."

He started to pace again, shaking his head. "This is ridiculous. They can't just keep her locked up in there. I refuse to let this happen. We need to get her out."

Rose watched him for a moment, before gesturing to one of the seats for him to sit down. "Sit down, Connor."

"I-… I can't sit down," he said, his pacing increasing. "Not when she's stuck there and-…"

Rose cut him off with an assertive look that he had rarely seen from her. "Sit down," she said again, and there was a glitter in her eyes. "I have a plan, and we need to discuss it."

This did manage to shut him up, and he moved to sit, keen to hear what she had to say. If someone had told him that he'd be planning something with Rose of all people, he never would have believed it. But here he was, doing just that.

ooOoo

It was a rainy evening, the night that they decided to get Steff out. Rose's father was back for a short visit, and Rose had managed to convince him to invite Steff's father over for a gambling match at their house. She'd insisted on Loki being there as well. Steff's father loved trying his hand at gambling with those richer than him, so it was no surprise that he'd agreed. It gave Connor and Rose the opportunity to sneak in, without them being present.

Of course, the next problem would be getting hold of a key to her room. It had been Connor's idea to sneak through the back servant's entrance, and Rose had gone along with it, although she was hardly dressed the part in one of her usual dresses. Of course, neither of them knew the servant's area very well, and they came across the kitchen entirely by accident. There was a young servant girl there cleaning up, and she looked over at them in obvious surprise.

"Err…" Connor stammered, awkwardly wondering what to say to justify their presence there.

Rose however, thankfully took the lead. She was better at talking to people and winning them over, after all. "We're friends of Steff," she said, looking over at the young girl. "We've heard she's been locked in her room, and we want to help her. Could you help us get into her room. Please?"

The young girl hesitated, looking nervous, and Rose rushed to assure her. "We won't tell anyone, I promise. But Steff has always been nice to you, hasn't she? She needs your help."

The girl paused a moment longer, before giving a nod. "Miss Tide has always been kind. I'll help you." Shifting over to a hook on the kitchen wall, she lifted off the ring of keys from it, before heading down the hallway. "Well?" she said, looking back at them. "Are you coming?"

They both rushed to follow, knowing they had a time limit on their efforts. "Thank you so much," Rose said, keeping a step behind the girl, and Connor followed after them. "We really appreciate the help."

The girl gave a quiet smile in return, and they kept silent as they walked the rest of the way, not wanting to draw any attention to themselves.

Once they reached the room that he remembered was Steff's, he tried not to wince as he thought of how he'd acted the last time he'd been there. It was embarrassing to think of how worked up he'd gotten.

The girl gave a quiet knock, before she raised the key to unlock the door. She stepped aside, allowing them to go in.

Rose went in first, and Connor followed. Steff's room was not as tidy as the last time, and it was obvious that she had been packing, a bag open with some of her belongings already packed in it.

When she turned to see them, her expression broke, and she looked relieved, some tears falling down her cheeks. "I didn't think anyone would come," she said, and Rose moved to hug her quickly.

"Of course we came," Rose said, squeezing her for a moment, before releasing her. "We care about you. You should've seen how worried Connor was."

Steff gave him a smile, and he moved to hug her as well, letting her rest her head against his chest. How he wished that he could protect her from her own family.

Finally releasing her, he moved a hand to wipe away some tears from her cheek. "It looks like you were already getting ready to leave."

"I was going to do my best," she said, giving a small nod, as her gaze went to her bag. "The staff here are nice and one of the cooks said she'd help me. But here you are. Thank you both so much. I can't begin to express how thankful I am."

"You don't need to thank us. Now isn't the time for that, anyway," Connor said, straightening. "We need to get you out of here. Are you almost finished packing?"

Steff made a sound in agreement, picking up a few more things and adding them to her bag, including a book. "This is all I need," she said, and Connor was surprised by how few belongings that she actually had. It made him feel like he'd grown up with way too much and he'd certainly taken that fact for granted.

Connor moved to zip the bag and pick it up for her, before following them into the hall. She looked a little nervous however, glancing down it. "What about my father and my brother? They might catch us."

"Don't worry," Rose said, taking her arm. "They are having a great time gambling with my father. You don't have to think about them right now."

She breathed a sigh of relief, as they headed back towards the front door. At another thought however, she hesitated again. "Where will I go?"

"You can come and stay with me until the wedding," Rose assured her. "My father leaves tomorrow morning, so it will just be my mother and I. You'll be safe with us."

"Thank you, Rose," Steff said, shaking her head slightly. "I don't know what I did to deserve such good friends."

"You say that as if you are not a good friend, yourself," Connor pointed out. Thankfully, the doorman let them out without commenting or stopping them, and they made their way over to Rose's carriage.

Connor glanced at the time on his pocket watch. "Your father should be leaving any minute. Stay out a bit longer, just in case," he advised.

The girls agreed, and he stepped back to let them go. It would be good for them to have time to catch up, and besides, it wouldn't exactly be appropriate if he rode on the carriage alone with them.

Exhaling a sigh of relief as the carriage left, he felt like he could finally breathe now that she was safe. So this was what it was like to care deeply for someone else, besides his brother. Somehow, he knew that the protective feeling towards her would never fade.


Staying at Rose's house had been a nice reprieve from her family and all of the drama that she'd never wanted to be a part of in the first place. Rose strove to take her mind off things at every possible opportunity, busily trying to help her plan for her upcoming wedding. Rose would of course be one of her bridesmaids, being the first friend that she had asked. Since Steff had no money to her name, Rose and her mother had kindly offered to pay for her wedding dress, which was more than she could have ever asked for. Despite Rose's protests, Steff had opted for a simple dress, not wanting them to spend too much on it. Besides, she had never been one for heaps of frills or anything over the top, and she didn't think that Connor was either. The dress fitting sessions had been enjoyable with Rose accompanying her, finding that she could finally allow herself to feel excited about the ceremony. In a way, nearly all of her dreams were about to come true.

Of course, some of her usual nerves still remained. What would Connor think of all her family drama? She hadn't had a chance to talk with him since he'd come to her house, although they had corresponded by letters a couple of times since. She hoped that he wouldn't regret it.

"He won't regret it," Rose stated, and Steff was shaken from her thoughts, not having realised that she'd spoken the words aloud. They were sitting by the window, eating a high tea spread for afternoon tea, and there was a small sandwich square in her hand. "You should have seen how distraught he was when it was all happening. I've never seen him so emotional. It's obvious that he cares about you, Steff. You'd have to be blind to not see it."

"Maybe I am a little blind," she admitted with a small smile, thinking that everything had been a surprise to her.

Rose was about to say something else, before she paused mid-sentence as she caught sight of something out of the window. "That's his carriage," she practically squealed. "He's come to see you!"

"Is it?" Steff asked with a quick inhale, shifting to see through the window better. It certainly was him, able to pick him easily as he stepped out of the carriage. She quickly set her plate down on the little side table, making sure there wasn't any crumbs on her dress. "Do I look okay?"

"You look beautiful," Rose said, ushering her up and out with a wave of her hands. "Now hurry up and go greet him. You can walk through the rose gardens, if you like. Your wedding is in a couple of days. I'm sure you can do without a chaperone just this once," she added, with a wink.

Steff gave a quick laugh and a grateful smile, glad to be given some privacy. "Thank you, Rose," she said, before she started out, wanting to meet Connor at the door.

His dark brown eyes lit up when he saw her, and there was a warmness to them that she had always loved. "Shall we?" he asked after the usual greetings, offering his arm to her, and she linked her own in his, starting out towards the rose garden with him.

"I still can't believe it's nearly time for the wedding," she remarked without thinking, her gaze on some colourful roses that they passed. Rose had done a wonderful job tending to the garden. The pretty smell followed them as they walked. "It still feels a bit like a dream."

Connor glanced at her sidelong. "This isn't a book or a dream – this is really happening. You can be sure of that."

"Thankfully," she agreed with a small smile on her lips. "Or it would be rather disappointing."

Connor seemed thoughtful for a moment, before he spoke again. "If this was one of your books or your stories, how would you want it to go after the wedding?"

"That's the lovely thing about life, isn't it? Everything is a grand surprise," she said fondly. "I don't have any particular expectations. I just want to live in the moment and experience it all. Just the thought of living in a place where I feel safe with someone I love is enough for me."

"You are easy to please," Connor remarked, and there was a hint of a smile in his voice. "But I do hope to do better than just that."

"You have always been more than enough," she said softly, almost a little shy at the thought of him hearing it, but she was certain that he had.

Coming to a stop, he reached for her hand. "I have something to give you," he said, and she turned to face him. "My mother gave me this ring – it's a family heirloom. I thought you might prefer something like that, rather than simply something I might buy."

She gasped as he pulled a small box out from his pocket and flicked the lid open. It was a rose cut diamond gold cluster ring, and it was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. "Connor I-…" she said trailing off, unsure of how to even express how much she adored it. "I love it. It's just beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it," he said with a slightly relieved smile, placing his hand under hers, as he used the other to slip the ring onto her finger gently. "You have such slender fingers," he laughed. "I'm just glad it fits."

Staring down at it, she raised her hand to be able to admire it closer. "I like the thought of having something that ties me to your family. I am honoured, really."

"It suits you," he replied simply, watching as she looked at it.

She hesitated, lowering her hand after a moment. Of course, her thoughts and her doubts still plagued her, and he must have sensed it in her silence and her posture as the self-doubt drew her under again. "…Is something wrong?" he questioned, looking almost a little nervous. He didn't need to, of course. It was her that should be nervous.

Turning away, she bit her lip, digging her nails into her palm subtly. "Sometimes I think that my father's words are true. That I'm no better than a maid."

"Steff-…" he said, and while she didn't look back at him, she could hear the concern in his voice as he reached for her arm again. "That's not true."

She pulled her arm away gently, swallowing thickly. "But I have acted as a maid many times. Maybe you wouldn't know the extent of it, but I have done jobs that a real lady never would. I come from a family that is interested in gambling and other undesirable things with a name that is sullied. I am hardly a good catch for you. You deserve someone better, honestly."

"Steff." This time, he said her name with the kind of force that she hadn't heard from him before. His fingers caught hers, and she didn't pull away this time. "I don't want a real lady – whatever that means. I just want you. That's all I've ever wanted."

She could feel her eyes growing teary again, her throat closing up which made it hard to speak. "But I don't even have a dowry for you," she whispered, as if she was scared to disturb the peace of the garden.

Slowly, he drew her closer, so her back was to his chest, and she could feel his heartbeat. After a moment, he rested his chin lightly against her head. "I don't need any of that. In fact, there's something I'd like from you even more."

She inhaled at his words, needing to know what it was. "And what is that?"

"I'd like you to write me a story instead," he answered. "It can be any length and about anything in particular. It's all in your hands, but I'd love to read it."

Her heart hammered against her own chest. "A story?" she repeated. "Of course I'll write something for you." He was kind to her, and she raised her other hand to quickly wipe at her eyes.

"There's no rush either," he assured her. "Just whenever suits you."

Despite his words, she was still determined to get it finished before the wedding. "I'll do it," she said quickly, relaxing back against him, her fingers entwining with his instinctively. The thought of someone reading something more personal was a little nerve-wracking, but there was no one else that she'd want to read it more. "Thank you, Connor, for… everything." Thank you couldn't even cover all the things she felt towards him, but it was something, at least.

They stayed like that for a long moment, sharing something they couldn't quite express in words.


Dearest Reader,

We have been graced with yet another wedding this season! Miss Stephanie Tide has married Lord Kodeki. I have been told that it was a small affair, with neither the bride nor groom wanting a large or ostentatious wedding.

It was noted that the bride's family was not in attendance, which is a strange affair. If the rumours are to be believed, they were not invited in the first place. That's rather scandalous, if I do say so myself. Instead, they invited close friends and the groom's family – including his parents who came back from their travels especially to be able to attend.

From what I have heard, the bride glowed in a simple yet elegant white muslin dress, while the gentleman looked handsome in his black waistcoat jacket and formal attire. It was a simple yet personal ceremony, with the bride and groom writing their own vows. Lord Kodeki had his brother as his best man, while the now Lady Kodeki had a few of her close friends as bridesmaids.

Like everyone, I am interested to see how they fair after the honeymoon is over, and they must settle into their new, married routine. The groom's brother is said to be staying at the house with them, while the current Earl and his wife will be moving to another smaller house whenever they are on home soil, to give them some privacy.

As always, I will be sure to keep you up to date with all the latest happenings.

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

ooOoo

As their carriage rattled along the cobblestone ground, Connor felt like he was still processing everything that had happened in the last number of weeks. He'd been insanely nervous at the wedding ceremony, unused to having so many gazes fixed on him. But somehow Steff had made it all better, and her presence had been like a calming force, keeping him from making too much of a fool of himself. It had been nice to have his brother by his side as well, not having liked the thought that anything might separate them. Cadyn however had come to terms with it and had even been supportive when they'd been getting ready together. Everything seemed to be coming through, and he only hoped that Steff would be happy with him. He knew he wasn't the most charming or the most social out of the gentlemen this season, but she was important to him, so despite his other downfalls, he wanted to strive to keep her as comfortable and content as he could.

Steff was looking out the window when he glanced over at her discreetly, and he tried to come up with something to say. "I'm sorry that your mother couldn't attend," he said finally, clearing his throat. "I know that you would have liked her to have been there."

She looked back at him, and he caught a hint of hidden sorrow in her gaze. "We invited her at least – that's all we could do. I appreciate that fact that you were willing to extend the invitation to her. I… can't say I'm surprised that she couldn't attend."

Connor had seen enough lately to be able to read between the lines. Undoubtedly, her mother hadn't been allowed to attend, especially considering they hadn't invited her father or her brother. But there was no way either of them wanted the two of them there. If anything, they would only attempt to make a special and memorable day tense and sour and to cause more conflict. His own father had been the one to walk with Steff down the aisle, which he had been really grateful for. "I understand," he replied simply with a nod. "I am only sorry that it turned out like that."

"Thank you," she said, and when he got a glimpse of them, he noticed that her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "I am glad to be given a second family like this. Sometimes I still think it is more than I deserve, but I am trying to come to terms with it."

"You deserve it, Steff," he said, trying to convey it the best that he could. "I will say it as many times as you need to hear it."

She swallowed and wiped at her eyes quickly, before she reached for the small bag sitting beside her on the seat. "I have something to give you," she said, reaching into her bag, and pulling out a decorated envelope. She hesitated for only a second, before holding it out to him. "It's the story I promised you. I wanted to finish it before the wedding, so I'd have a gift to give you."

She was nervous about it, he could tell, and he reached out to take it. "Should I read it later or…?" He asked, wondering what she would prefer.

"You can read it now," she said softly, biting her lip.

Carefully, he opened the envelope, drawing out the pages. She'd handwritten it, her cursive neat and delicately flowing. He was quiet as he started to read it, curious as to what she had picked to write about. While she didn't use any names in the story as such, he was quick to piece it together. It was about her as a child, when she'd first met Connor and his brother at the park. The emotion she'd added felt real, as if he was experiencing it first-hand. She'd written of her loneliness and her brother's bullying, but also of how he and his brother had quickly cheered her up, and she'd truly felt friendship for the first time.

He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. He'd had no idea of what things had been like for her at the time, and how he wished he'd been able to do something more back then. He was still silent as he finished it, staring at the pages for a long moment. What could he even say to express how well she'd written it, and how much it had meant to him?

He quickly realised that she had taken his silence the wrong way, as she fiddled with her bag nervously, glancing at him every so often, before her words finally tumbled out. "I should have written about something else, shouldn't I? I'm sorry, I promise I'll write something better-…"

"Steff," he interrupted, looking over at her. "I love it, I really do. I've never read anything like this. Anything with this kind of depth and emotion."

"Oh," she said, seemingly a little dumbfounded for a moment. "You really think so?"

"How could I not?" he asked, before shaking his head. "This has to be… the best gift I've ever received."

She blushed, quickly averting her gaze at the praise. Almost as if she wasn't used to such a thing, which didn't surprise him when he thought about it. "That's hard to believe," she replied, as if on instinct.

"I wouldn't lie to you," he replied, and she hesitated for a moment, before she nodded in a silent acceptance. Folding the papers again gently, he then placed them back in the envelope and tucked it into his pocket, wanting to make sure he kept it somewhere safe.

Glancing outside, he straightened a little when he saw where they were. "We're nearly back," he said, and he found it hard to know what he should do when they arrived. There was things he wanted to do of course, but neither did he want to push her towards anything she didn't want.

It was an awkward topic to broach, and he could already sense his awkwardness in the air before he even opened his mouth to speak again. "Err when we get there… I'll show you to our room and… well, you can get ready for bed if you like. If you're tired, I mean. I know it's been a big day. And mostly, I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do."

He could feel her gaze on him, even though he avoided meeting it. "I'm not too tired," she replied, slowly. "But is that what you'd prefer?"

"No, that's not-…" he swallowed, inwardly cursing his inability to find the right words to express what he meant to say. "I just mean… I don't want to force you into anything."

"You're not forcing me into anything," she replied, reaching out to gently take his hand in her own. Her gestures were soft as usual, which he was unused to. But it was… nice. "I want to do things, with you."

"Oh, okay," he replied a little stupidly, staring down at her hand. It certainly seemed that he was well versed in embarrassing himself.

Finally raising his gaze, he let it catch in her golden hair, where it was tied up in an elaborate updo. How he desperately wanted to see it out again. It was rare that she wore it out for any of the events, since wearing it up seemed to be more popular and respectable in society. His thoughts got away from him, and he reached a hand up to touch some of the strands, shifting until his fingers reached one of the clips. She watched with wide eyes, her breath catching.

The moment was interrupted however, when the carriage rolled to a stop, and he quickly drew his hand back from her hair. She released his other hand as well, and he allowed her to exit the carriage first when the door was opened, before he stepped down as well.

ooOoo

Steff had already met most of the staff of Connor's family house, but now that she was officially Lady Kodeki, such introductions were still standard. It was all a bit of a blur however, by the time she and Connor had time to themselves, with Connor leading the way to his bedroom. He had implied in the past that now his parents had moved out, they had given the newlywed couple the main bedroom, which gave them both more room and more privacy. In the past, Connor and Cadyn had had rooms side-by-side.

Following him inside the room, Steff glanced around it, amazed by both the size, with the adjoining rooms as well, and the decorations and little touches added in as well. A chandelier hung from the ceiling, and at the side there was a bay window, which she could already imagine herself sitting near while she read. While the thin curtains were currently drawn, she could imagine the windows would let in a lot of light when they were open, too.

"Oh Connor, it's beautiful," she sighed, noticing that the maids had already set out her small number of belongings.

"I was hoping you'd like it," he replied, shutting the door behind them. "It's as much your room, as it is mine. Of course, we can change anything that you'd like, too. Just let me know."

Walking further into the room, she then came to a stop, a little unsure of what to do. While they had implied earlier that they would do more that evening, she admittedly knew little about it, besides a few whisperings from other girls about what they labelled secretively as 'marital duties.' It was something that a mother was known to pass on advice about before the wedding night, but that was something she hadn't received from her own mother.

Sneaking a glance at Connor, she found he was removing his black tailcoat jacket, hanging it over one of the chairs, as well as his gloves. Thinking of earlier, she supposed she should undo her hair, reaching up to take out one of the clips.

She paused when she heard him approach, stopping behind her. "Here, let me," he said quietly, and she let her hand fall back to her side as he started to pull gently at the clips and pins, removing them. Her hair tumbled down her back when he took it out in golden lengths. There was something strangely intimate in the gesture, knowing that she rarely wore her hair out in public. There was a kind of vulnerability to it, even. She turned her head slightly so that she could watch in one of the mirrors. He had a look of concentration in his expression, as he focused on doing it carefully, his fingers undoing some of the small braids that had been incorporated into the style. "You have no idea how much I've been wanting to see your hair out," he said in a whispered confession that gave her goosebumps.

She blushed at his words, able to see the pink growing across her cheeks in the mirror. Once her long hair was all set free, he ran his fingers through it, before tucking some strands behind her ear.

Steff inhaled, before she turned to face him, catching some of his shirt in her fingers and pulling him down towards her. He obliged, dipping down to kiss her, his fingers still tangled in her hair. When they had kissed that time in the past, it had been gentle and feather light. But this time it was heated and quickly deepened - there were no rules stopping them anymore. Her arms wrapped around him as she settled into the kiss, finding it was all new and exciting. He smelled of pine and fresh mint, letting the scent roll over her senses as her lips tingled from his kisses.

Eventually, they both broke apart to catch their breaths, and she grew shy again. As if he could sense her hesitation, he paused as well, meeting her gaze. "What is it?" he asked, and she tried to push down her nerves.

"I just… don't really know what I'm doing," she admitted, averting her gaze. "I'll follow your lead."

"That's fine," he rushed to say, stumbling over his words a little. "I mean, I haven't done it before either, but I know…" He trailed off awkwardly, seemingly embarrassed at the conversation as well, and she found it endearing more than anything else.

"Well?" she prompted, finally meeting his gaze. "What do we do next?"

He swallowed before collecting himself, his fingers shifting to catch her hands in his own. Slowly, he worked on removing her long, soft satin gloves, letting them slide off, before setting them down on the chair. Then, his fingers caught the fabric of her white muslin dress. "This… needs to come off."

She turned, allowing him better access to the ties at the back of the dress, as he slowly undid them, starting with the bow. As he set her dress aside, she was down to the thin white chemise underneath with her stockings and garters. She had never been in such a state of undress in front of a gentleman, and she felt her cheeks warm again.

He kissed her, before lifting her into his arms with ease, which made her giggle in surprise, before he placed her down on the bed, batting some of the multitude of pillows out of the way. They both laughed at that, and he carefully removed her stockings and garters, before pausing as he reached for her chemise. "Is this okay?" he asked, and she nodded, not trusting her voice to remain steady. He then moved to help draw her chemise up and over her head.

He watched her for a moment, before murmuring something that she could just make out. "You're so beautiful, Steff. You always have been."

It was strange to hear such words, having not known if anyone would ever think it of her. She had never seemed to catch anyone's eye in the way that some of the other girls had. When one was used to hearing they were nothing, it was certainly a sharp contrast.

When he dipped down to kiss her again, her fingers caught in his white linen shirt. "Shouldn't this come off too?" she asked, a little more boldly than she would normally ever dream of.

"If you'd like," he replied, undoing the silk cravat, before pulling his shirt over his head. He then worked on his trousers, undoing the buttons with a nervous fumble, before removing them and walking to join her on the bed.

She couldn't help but stare as well, even if she knew she probably shouldn't. His arms had some muscle from all of his fencing, and he looked different to her brother's physique in a number of ways. Reaching out, she rested a hand against his bare chest, able to feel his heartbeat, if she paid attention closely enough.

He reached for her as well, and their fingers roamed against skin eagerly as they kissed. They each knew so many things about the other. But this was uncharted territory – something new that neither had experienced before.

Steff had never known that kissing someone could take your breath away in such a way. That it could be so dizzying but could also feel so right. It had always been nice to read about, but to experience it firsthand was thrilling.

Connor paused, and she realised that he was removing the last of their undergarments. He shifted to move over her again, his fingers brushing against her inner thigh. Looking up at him, she tried to read him, sensing some hesitation. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

"It's just that, this might hurt a bit," he said, cautiously. "I don't want to hurt you but-…"

Listening, she reached up to rest a hand against his cheek. "It's okay," she said, urging him on with a quick nod. "I trust you, Connor."

He gave a nod in return, before moving to adjust, and this time she could feel it as they came together. He tried to be gentle, which she appreciated, starting off slow and cautiously. It was a strange feeling, but not an unpleasant one, quickly getting used to the movements.

In fact… it was like nothing she'd ever experienced before. Their breaths quickened, and her eyes fluttered closed, her fingers grasping the sheet beside her as she focused on the sensations as they intensified. While she heard a moan, she couldn't quite grasp the fact that it had come from her own lips. Her other hand clutched at him to keep him close, his skin warm and clammy. Everything was instinctual, not needing to worry about how to do anything anymore. It was simply him and her, and nothing else mattered.

As they both reached their peak, he murmured something under his breath that she couldn't understand. "Я тебя люблю."As if the other language had just slipped out in his frenzy.

Afterwards, Connor moved to lay beside her, saying nothing as he caught his breath. His gaze flickered between her and the wall, as if trying to get a glimpse into what she was thinking, but not wanting to be caught doing so, his awkwardness returning.

Steff pushed some hair away from her face. She had felt things that she'd never known she could feel before. All she could think was that it was no wonder such things were not brazenly spoken about.

Glancing over at Connor, her shyness was subtly visible again. "What did you say?" she asked, finally.

"Sorry?" he said in surprise, meeting her gaze after a moment.

"It was in another language," she prompted. "Russian, maybe?" she added, hazarding a guess. It was one of his first languages – knowing that he had spent some of his formative years there before his parents had moved them back to their family home in London. Their trade had often taken them to different destinations – something that she had only been able to dream of.

"Oh," Connor said, as if it was just coming back to him. "I said… I love you," he admitted finally. "Sometimes I speak Russian when I'm not thinking. On instinct, I guess."

She smiled, feeling warm all over, which wasn't such a bad thing after all. "I love you, too," she said easily, reaching out to catch his hand, her fingers entwining with his. "I'm glad that I got to experience all of this with you. I think maybe… it was meant to be."

"It was hard for me to ever imagine getting married," Connor said slowly, pondering aloud, his fingers tightening around hers. "I had my brother, and I didn't think I needed anyone else. But you made your way through the walls and challenged everything I believed." He gave a helpless smile. "Guess I didn't know what I was missing out on."

"Neither of us will miss out on anything anymore," she said, shifting forwards to kiss him again. He gently drew his hand away from hers so that he could instead wrap his arm around her, and she rested her head against the crook of his shoulder.

She felt safe and comfortable in his arms – and she found that she wouldn't have minded staying like that for the whole night.


Dearest Reader,

The newlyweds, Lord and Lady Kodeki, have been spotted at Hyde Park taking a stroll multiple times, since their wedding a couple of weeks ago. They seem happy together, the former bride glowing as she stops to talk with others.

It seems that once again, this social season has resulted in another happy marriage. This is perhaps good news for the other ladies out there who are still searching for their future husbands.

It is even more hopeful, perhaps, that someone like Lord Kodeki could be enticed to marriage, just like the Duke. He was not known to be formerly looking, or to be particularly interested in the events of the social season. But alas, here we are.

One can only hope that there will be plenty of other successful marriages to come.

Until next time,

Lady Whistledown

ooOoo

Slowly, Steff stirred from her sleep, as the morning light filtered in through the curtains, warming her face. When she glanced over at Connor, she found he was still asleep, so she stayed where she was, not wanting to disturb him.

She had been married a couple of weeks, and she found herself settling into her new place and role. It was as if her past life was a long-ago dream, and she was determined to look back as little as possible. There were so many things to look forward to in the future, after all.

One of the strangest things to get used to, had been having her own maid. She was so used to getting herself ready, that it was different, having someone else help her. She insisted on calling the girl by her first name, wanting to make sure she treated her staff better than her father ever did.

Hearing Connor stir beside her, she looked back at him again with a smile, loving the way his hair grew tousled when he slept. It was just one of the many things she had learned about him.

Reaching out, she brushed her fingers against his arm lightly, his gaze meeting hers. Such affectionate gestures like the ones she liked to express had been new for him, but she thought he was starting to get used to them. She liked moments like that, when it was just the two of them.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked, blushing lightly as she thought of what they'd done the prior night.

"I did," Connor said, although she could tell there was something else on his mind, as he pushed himself up to sit. "There's something I've been thinking about," he started, still seemingly gathering his thoughts.

Sensing it was important, she sat up as well. "What is it?"

"I was thinking that maybe we could offer your mother a small place to herself. We have enough money to buy one, and it wouldn't be that expensive, anyway. It gives her the option of leaving your father, then. And we could always send her an allowance to live off."

Steff stared at him for a moment, feeling touched. "Oh, Connor," she said, a hint of emotion in her voice. "You'd do that for me?"

"Of course I would," he replied, averting his gaze. "There's a lot that I'd do for you."

She swallowed, thinking it over. Currently, she had no contact with her mother – but not for a lack of trying. It was her father's doing, most likely, not knowing if her mother had even received her letters. This would give her the chance to escape him and to start afresh. "I'd like to try," she said with a nod, although she bit her lip lightly. "Although I shouldn't get my hopes up. It would take… a lot for her to leave him, I think."

"That's all we can do," Connor replied, the seriousness evident in his tone, especially since it was often lighter.

"Thank you for thinking of me," she said, shifting forward to pull him into a tight hug. He seemed surprised, freezing for a moment, before he finally returned it. "I can't even express how much that means to me."

"I know," he said simply, keeping her close, as if reluctant to let her go. "You don't need to say anything."

They stayed like that for a long moment, her eyes glistening in hope.

ooOoo

Things were complicated, as she'd expected. Although Steff had made the offer to her mother, she didn't want to leave. She was too much under his thumb and control, which was a sad thing to witness. Somehow, it didn't surprise her however, having seen her mother acquiesce to his demands again and again.

All she could do was to show that she'd be there, no matter what, if she ever wanted to call on her. That there was an option to get out, if she ever wanted to reach out and take it. Steff could only hope that she would do so, before it was too late and she faded away to a shadow.

Steff was grateful to her husband for trying. It was the most thoughtful thing that anyone had ever tried to do for her. How she had gone from a girl with no marriage prospects to a married women to a soon-to-be Earl, no less, she still didn't know. But all she could be was thankful.


~~ Epilogue – 1.5 years later ~~

Walking down the hallway, it didn't take Connor long to find Steff. She was in her favourite room of the whole house – the library, of course. He was drawn to the sound of the tip of a quill scratching against paper, guessing that she was writing. Walking into the room, he found her at her desk overlooking the bay window.

Leaning against the desk, he tried not to disturb her too much as she finished the sentence she was currently writing. He gave it a quick glance, finding it was not the usual writings of Lady Whistledown. It was something… different. He loved to watch her write, having to resist the urge to reach out and tuck some hair behind her ear that had fallen over her face.

Finally, she finished her thoughts, setting down the quill and looking up at him, a glitter in her eyes. He knew that look, it meant she was inspired by something.

"I'm writing something new," she said, a hint of nervous excitement in her tone. "I've missed writing, I realise."

"New?" he repeated, questioningly, raising an eyebrow. "You have to tell me more than that."

"Not yet," she said, with an amused laugh. "I want to see if it actually goes somewhere first." At his look of disappointment, her smile only grew. "I promise that you'll be the first to read it."

"I'll hold you to that," he replied, finding her smile was infectious.

As she had no longer needed the money, Steff had put down her quill for the last time, after the former social season ended, ending the column, which caused much speculation. Besides, she'd had little time to write, with a new baby. She'd insisted on having the main role in taking care of their daughter, not wanting to rely on a nursemaid.

Still, Connor had wondered when she might be inclined to write again. She was much too talented to stop, and he was sure that she had plenty more to say. This time, maybe something she wanted to write, herself, rather than what others might like or expect.

"Well, whatever it's about, you know I'll love it," he said, easily. How could he not love something that she wrote?

"You're too kind," she said, with a subtle embarrassed smile, glancing at the page. "Maybe if this works out, I could see whether it might be able to get published. Under my own name this time."

It was the first time she'd ever suggested such a thing herself, and he couldn't help but smile himself. In the past, she had usually brushed off such a thought when he'd mentioned it, as if she thought it was wholly unattainable. But slowly, her confidence in herself was growing, and it showed.

"Honestly," he said, and he meant it, "I think that would be great."


~~ Epilogue – 7 years later ~~

It was the perfect day to sit outside, with the sun shining proudly in the sky, making it the perfect temperature. They sat out in the front garden as they waited for Cadyn to come by to visit. He was often away on his travels, as he helped to keep the family trade business running. Connor and Steff stayed mostly in London, keeping it running from that end. Although they still liked to travel when they could – when they weren't busy with the kids, of course.

Three of their children played amongst themselves nearby, while the fourth, Alice, sat on Steff's lap patiently as she braided her strawberry blonde hair. She had inherited his brown eyes, which could admittedly urge him to do anything she wanted.

"When will Uncle Cadyn be here?" Alice asked, staring ahead at the path, as if he might appear at any moment.

"Soon, hopefully," Steff replied, her tone both calming and kind. "As long as he hasn't had any delays."

He watched her subtly. Motherhood suited her, as he'd always known it would. She was gentle and patient and empathetic with the kids, and they loved her. They hadn't planned a specific number, but three girls and a boy was what they ended up with. Although he supposed he should never say never – while they were content with four, sometimes life decided for you.

Alice pouted, looking over at Connor. "Do you think he'll play some bocce with us?"

"I'm sure he will," Connor replied, knowing that Cadyn adored them. He'd never married or had kids of his own, but he was a surprisingly good uncle, and the kids loved him. He was fun, Connor supposed, always bringing back new and interesting stories from his travels.

Steff finished her braid, tying it with a band and allowing Alice to hop up, but before she could go and join her siblings, she squealed when she spotted a carriage in the distance, pointing to it. "It's him, here's here!" she called out, getting her siblings' attention.

They all came over in excitement, and Steff and Connor stood as well to get ready to greet him.

As soon as Cadyn got out of the carriage, he was swarmed by the kids, three of whom tried to jump up and climb on him. Where they got all their energy from, he never knew.

Steff gave him an amused glance. They were usually better behaved with others – it was only Cadyn who put them into a silly mood.

"Please don't climb on your uncle," she called out, coming to his aid and ushering them off him. "He's probably tired after his trip."

"It's fine, Steff," Cadyn assured her, giving them a hug, and listening to them chatter away.

When there was finally a chance, Steff gave him a hug in a welcome, her smile warm. "I'm glad you could come to visit. You know that you always have a home here."

"I know… It's good to see you too, Steff," he said, before drawing back and turning towards Connor.

They never knew what to do, whether to nod to each other or hug, or do something else. This time, they settled for clasping hands. It was hard to convey their bond through gestures, knowing that it went much deeper than that.

"I hope your journey was smooth," Connor said, wishing he could come up with something better. "How long can you stay?"

"A couple of days, then I have to head out again," Cadyn replied, giving him a smile. "It won't be as long until my next visit though."

"Good," Connor said, as he drew back. "We had your usual bed made up for you, and your favourite dinner is planned for tonight."

"See? This is why I come here," Cadyn joked, and Connor smiled as well, finding the humour had broken through the weightier moment. "As well as to see my favourite nieces and nephew." At this, the kids all cheered, moving to hug him again. Cadyn glanced between Steff and Connor. "I'll play with the kids for a bit. You two should have a break."

Connor looked over at Steff. It wasn't often that they had all of the children's attention so vividly focused on someone else. Taking his hand, she gave a quick laugh. "If you're offering, then we'll take you up on it," she said lightly.

As Cadyn rounded the kids up and took them to go and play bocce on the grassy area of the yard, Connor and Steff headed for the house.

"How long do you think we have?" Connor asked, lowering his voice.

"Hmm…" Steff replied, pretending to think for a moment, her tone remaining light and teasing. "Maybe half an hour, if we're lucky."

"Then let's make the most of it," he said, a mischievous grin remaining on his lips as he tugged her towards the house, her bright laughter stolen on the wind.


A/N: I'm so sorry that this is like… 4 months late. I would get writing for a bit and get heaps more done, then I would stop again. But yeah, this was… a mammoth task. I feel like there was more I could have added, and I rushed some parts, and I should have probably read over it like 10 more times, but I just wanted to get it finished and actually posted. Hopefully I did it enough justice. This ended up being just over 35000 words (over double the last chapter)… Wow, definitely my longest chapter yet.