Mid September. 11 months since THAT Wednesday

Cam was sitting in her office and smiled as she set her cell phone back down on the desk. When the phone rang, she was shocked to see Booth's name on the caller ID. She hadn't spoken to him in almost a year. Of course, she had seen him in the hospital when he was still unconscious, and once he was out of the woods, Jared kept her apprised of his progress. It was so good to hear his voice and he apologized for his silence over the past year. She assured him that the silence had gone both ways and they would always be friends. He asked if she'd like to have dinner so they could catch up with each other's lives and she eagerly accepted.

Friday night she walked into the restaurant he recommended and was thrilled to see him looking so well after all he'd been through. He went to give her a bear hug, but with a smile cautioned her to go easy on his incisions. It was the perfect icebreaker, and they spent the whole meal telling old stories and catching up on the last year. Cam had stories about Michelle, her boyfriend, and the push and pull over which college she planned to attend. And she was still dating Paul, but it was a constant battle for them both to find time for each other. She wanted to hear the whole story about the split with Hannah - and she laughingly told him to leave nothing out. He was relieved that there was enough distance now that he could laugh about parts of it. Especially the parts about her disgust over the non designer Christmas tree, the snatching of the candy cane as she stormed into the bedroom dragging her suitcase, and realizing in mid January that his tree was surround by a two inch high circle of pine needles. "What was I thinking Cam? I know they say 'opposites attract', but this was a case of two people who were so diametrically different that they could never live together." Cam raised her eyebrows and tilted her head. "What were you thinking? Well, it certainly wasn't with your brain!" Booth started laughing and winced. "Don't make me laugh! It's tough on the stomach muscles!"

So Cam decided bring it down. It was time to talk about Brennan. They had avoided the subject all evening, but she decided it couldn't be avoided altogether. "What happened Seeley? How could you do that to her?" Booth let out a deep breath. "I don't know Camille. It was the worst mistake of my life. I let Hannah talk me into severing the partnership. I still can't say if that was the right thing to do or not. At the time, I really thought Hannah and I had a chance at a long term commitment. But having Bones right there all of the time was a problem. Hannah knew I had confessed my love to her. She knew that Bones turned me down. And she knew that after Hannah and I were together that Bones confessed she had made a mistake and had regrets. It was an untenable situation. I found myself pulling away from her day by day and that's not how a partnership should work. When Hannah put her foot down, I tried to find a solution we could all accept, but it was useless. It had to happen." Booth looked down to the table and then back up at Cam. His voice dropped in volume. "But if I had been honest with myself, I was still in love with Bones. That had never gone away. I thought that loving Hannah, living with her, would overtake the feelings that were still there for Bones. And for awhile it felt like it was working. But a month after Hannah left, I realized that I felt nothing for her. If I had been truly in love with her that would have been impossible." Cam nodded in agreement. "But Seeley, for her to find out the way she did? I think she could have eventually forgiven you for severing the partnership, but that was brutal." Booth couldn't meet her eyes. When he finally looked up, he had tears in his eyes. He turned to stare out the window. "I know. I know. I know. I just…I couldn't stand…the thought of seeing the pain in her eyes when I told her. I wasn't thinking straight. It was…" He looked back at her. "It was like I had become a different person Cam. I think I almost felt like I wanted her to hate me because then it would be easier for both of us to go our separate ways. I just don't know. When she stormed into my office, I saw hate in her eyes that I had never seen before. That's when I realized I had gone too far. Her anger triggered me into anger, and we both said things that we can never take back." He looked drained. He looked her straight in the eye. "I still love her Cam. I've honored the last words that she said to me, that she never wanted to lay eyes on me again. I've purposely stayed away from places where there was a chance that we might run into each other. In some ways it's better for me because it would hurt too much to see her. But then there are times that I wish I had the nerve to stalk her. He laughed. "Pathetic, eh?"

Cam chuckled. "No, Seeley. I can't see you as a stalker. I think you would be very bad at it." That got a good laugh out of him, and he had to grab his stomach. Cam put her arms on the table and leaned forward. "Okay, Seeley. Here's my ask. Let me tell Brennan about what's happened to you. Let me tell her about Hannah. Let me tell her about the shooting. I think she deserves to know. Don't you owe her that?" Booth frowned. "Oh Cam, I don't know. I've spent the last year staying out of her life. I wouldn't think she wants to hear anything about that." Cam shook her head. "I think you're wrong. I think she would want to know. I promise you I won't say anything about your feelings toward her. That's our little secret. But I think she would want to know about Hannah. I think she would want to know how close you came to dying. In fact, she will probably be angry at me for keeping it from her." He sat back and bit his lip deep in thought. "Okay. But make sure she understands that I didn't give you permission to tell her just to make her feel bad about our estrangement. Jared and Rebecca told me that they decided she shouldn't be told that I was in critical condition because they didn't want her to feel like she had to be there. Like she had to break the stalemate. It's hard to explain. Rebecca explained it to me like this. When she became pregnant with Parker, she told me she was pregnant, and I immediately proposed marriage to her. The main reason she said no was because she wasn't convinced that I would have proposed if she hadn't been pregnant. Maybe one day Bones and I will break this stalemate. But if we do, it will be for the right reasons. Not because she felt compelled to run to me when I was clinging to life. Does that make sense?" Cam smiled. "It does Seeley. I'll make sure that she understands."