A/N: Well, friends. I'm officially taking the kid gloves off, starting in the second half of this chapter. I'm very sorry :(


For nearly three months, Kiriko remained in Republic City and did her best to keep her mind off of Raniq and Valen. She trained, she made plans to open a firebending school in the spring of next year, and she racked up a truly insane amount of volunteer hours.

Anisa was always trying to get her to go out dancing, but she rarely wanted to. Every time she tried to have fun, all she could think of was how she'd lost her best friend. They'd never have fun together again, so how could Koko enjoy anything?

Even so, she eagerly checked the mail every single day, hoping for a letter from Raniq.

Spring was fading when one finally arrived. She gasped when she saw the name on the envelope; after so many weeks of disappointment, her expectations were in the gutter, so it was quite a surprise.

Shaky hands ripped it open.

Dear Kiriko,

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write you. I know you probably hate me right now, and maybe you'll throw this away without even reading it, but I hope you make it to the end because I have a lot to say and I'm too much of a coward to come and say it in person.

These last few months have given me plenty of time to think about what happened. To process what I feel. I think we both said and did hurtful things, but I can admit now that I bear most of the blame.

I've written so many versions of this letter. Debated on what to say and how to say it. How honest I should be. My trash can is full of crumpled-up pieces of paper. I go to bed every single night thinking about you and what I'd say if you showed up on my doorstep.

Here's the truth: I'm in love with you. I think I have been for a while, but it took me some time to see it for what it was. The main thing that gave me the courage to come to terms with it was the confident belief that you felt the same way. The lie you told me was the seed that it all grew from, but it was my own imagination that watered that seed and made it grow. I created a fantasy in my mind and convinced myself it was true, and I can't blame you for that.

If you still want to be my friend and aren't horribly uncomfortable with knowing how I feel about you, I hope you'll come and tell me. Or at least send me a letter with your answer. I've accepted that it's going to hurt either way, but I have to at least try. I can't bear not having you in my life.

I almost didn't write that last part because it sounds so desperate and pathetic, but I want you to understand. I loved you long before these other feelings started, and I know I'll love you long after they've faded away. Because I'm going to live my life with the expectation that they will fade and I'll find someone to build a future with.

That future would have less color without you in it. Your friendship means the world to me. I promise that, if you'll forgive me for what I said and let me take it back, I won't do or say anything to make you uncomfortable. I can't lie and say those feelings aren't there, but I won't show them. I just want to go back to the way things were before all this mess.

Also, I'm really, really sorry I kissed you. It was stupid and impulsive. I should've just told you what was on my mind instead of attacking you like that.

Anyway, sorry for all the rambling. No matter how many times I wrote all my thoughts down, they always came like this. And I'm so tired. I just need to send it.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Love, Raniq

Kiriko was on the next train to Zaofu. She didn't need time to think about it or weigh the pros and cons. Her best friend needed her and that was all that mattered.

Next to the line of townhouses where Raniq lived was a large park. She had to cross through the middle of it and was briefly waylaid when a familiar voice called her name.

Kyori… Kiriko knew in her gut what she was going to see, and for a second or two, she contemplated feigning obliviousness. Why does this keep happening?

And yet, the morbid curiosity was too strong. Her head swiveled on its own and there they were, Kyori and Valen, holding hands and waving.

Fortunately, they were far enough away to avoid. Kiriko waved back and continued on, not caring if they thought she was rude. Hopefully, they'd assume that she was in a hurry. Would they see her go to Raniq's house? Her front door was visible from where they were.

With any luck, they wouldn't be paying that much attention to her. And she still had her key, so it was easy enough to hurry inside. But she found the place empty, which wasn't entirely a surprise. Raniq worked a lot, sometimes at odd times.

Kiriko entertained herself by watching television for a few hours. Having spent most of the train ride deciding how to handle the upcoming conversation, she was content to zone out to the mindless drivel that played in the evenings.

Some time later, the sound of the door closing jolted her out of a doze and she knocked the remote onto the floor.

"Is someone here?" Raniq's voice said, hesitant and fearful.

"It's just me."

She came around the corner a few seconds later, eyes wide and full of tears. "You– You got my letter…?"

"Yeah."

Raniq took a couple of determined steps toward her, but then stopped suddenly as if a chain had pulled tight and was holding her in place. She seemed…scared. Or at least worried. "And?"

The question didn't make sense to Kiriko. "And what? You asked me to come, so here I am. I only stayed away because I thought you didn't want to see me."

It occurred to her that Raniq had probably halted her approach because she wanted to hug her but then thought better of it, so Kiriko got up from the couch and closed the distance herself.

"I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to be," she said as they embraced. "But I'll always be your friend."

Unsurprisingly, Raniq immediately started crying on her shoulder. They just stood there in silence for a little while. It was awkward, at least for Kiriko. She'd never felt weird about sharing affectionate moments with Raniq before, but it was now impossible to forget about what lurked beneath them.

Still, she persevered. This was something she was going to have to get used to.

"Ugh, sorry," Raniq said finally, pulling away. Her face was red and tear-streaked, but calm. "I'm just so relieved. I was scared you would never come or respond."

It hurt a little to hear that. "You really thought I wouldn't?"

"After what I said…? I deserved it."

"No, you didn't. You were sad."

Raniq sniffed and made for the couch. There was a box of tissues on the tea table, which she used to wipe her face. "I can't stop thinking about something... And I know you probably don't want me to bring this up, but I have to apologize–"

"You've apologized enough," Kiriko said as she joined her.

"No, but this is different. When I kissed you, I was thinking about myself. It was so selfish. It didn't even cross my mind that it was your first kiss. But when you jumped back, I realized it. With shame and horror."

"It's okay, really–" Spirits, please just let it go.

"It's not!" she insisted. "Even if you had wanted it, that's not how a first kiss—or any kiss—should be. It wasn't right. You should've had a choice. I took that away from you, and I can't ever give it back." Her bottom lip trembled, threatening more tears.

"Look," Kiriko said firmly, though a small part of her agreed. "You're obviously determined to beat yourself up about this, but I've had a long time to think about it. And I'm not upset about it anymore. Really. It wasn't bad or unpleasant. It was just…surprising. I won't lie and tell you I felt something more, because I didn't, but it's not like I was disgusted. And hey, now I can say I've been kissed and it will be true."

Raniq's furrowed brows suddenly lifted. "Oh… I don't know if you know–"

"About Valen and Kyori? Yeah. I know. I'm trying not to think about it."

"I'm so sorry…"

Kiriko forced a rueful half-smile. "Would you stop apologizing?"

"I was commiserating. At least that part's not my fault. Actually, I would love for you two to get together. I honestly didn't have a clue you were interested in him. Were you mad when I started dating him?"

"Not mad… Maybe a little jealous. And I was so nervous around him."

"No wonder you went and hid at my party. It must've been torture for you to be in a confined space with him."

"Well. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Obviously, I never had a chance with him. We can just be miserable together, I guess."

"Beats being lonely."


It was a golden summer, not least because Kiriko didn't know it was the sunset of her childhood. Blissfully unaware of the storm that was coming.

Many of those lazy days were spent in Zaofu—staying up late, sleeping until noon, and sitting outside of cafes sipping on fruit smoothies with Raniq while trying to pick out a potential date for her. She would always blush furiously whenever Kiriko pointed out someone that fit her tastes. They kept it quiet, though. Just between the two of them. It was clear she wasn't ready to come out.

And there was some hot gossip spreading through the city like wildfire: Princess Zira, the heir to the Fire Nation throne, was now engaged to Hunir Beifong. While it wasn't entirely unexpected for anyone who knew them, it was still quite the international scandal.

"The next heir is going to be a black-haired, green-eyed earthbender," Kiriko said, laughing. "A Beifong from head to toe. I just know it!"

"Old Toph is cackling in her grave, I'm sure," Raniq agreed.


As they usually did, the Varrick and Sato families went south for the summer solstice, which was the winter solstice there. The 'celebration', if it could be called that, was a much more somber affair than the much rowdier party during the southern summer.

Much of it was for the sake of tradition—old rituals and ceremonies to ward off dark Spirits or strengthen the tribe's resolve to survive the rest of winter. As a child, Kiriko had questioned some of the more tedious parts, such as not speaking louder than a whisper on the solstice itself.

Korra's response had always been true to her nature: 'Because the Council of Elders is still mostly old farts who are set in their ways and cave to peer pressure from dead people.'

To which Asami had snorted and rolled her eyes, but Kiriko saw a smile hiding in the corners of her mouth.

However, this year was more exciting than usual.

"There's a storm coming," Raniq said one afternoon. She, Kiriko, and Anisa had gone for a walk up to some cliffs, where there was a beautiful view of the sea at sunrise. Which was also sunset, at the moment. They only had a few hours of light each day—currently just a strip of brilliant orange on the horizon. Above it was an angry purple cloud, like a bruise, that faded into dark gray.

"Great, maybe the candlelight vigil will be canceled," Anisa said.

Kiriko tsked with annoyance. "Hey, I actually like that part."

"Maybe that's because you like fire, and because the cold doesn't bother you that much."

"You're the one who's half Southern Water Tribe," she retorted with a playful jab on Anisa's arm. "You should have more tolerance for the cold. Instead, you complain when the temperature goes below shorts weather."

"Your definition of 'shorts weather' is much different than mine."

"That's kinda my point."

"I think we should head back," Raniq said with a concerned frown, still looking at the horizon. "I have a bad feeling. Something in the air."

In her eighteen years of life, Kiriko had never known Raniq to be wrong about the weather. She figured it must be a waterbender thing. And sure enough, the swirling snow hit them before they made it back to the city, shrouding them in near-total darkness and making the snow pile up to their knees.

Fortunately, two waterbenders and a firebender were more than a match for mother nature. They got back to the palace tired but unharmed.

"I was getting worried," Asami said as they trudged back inside. "They put out a warning to stay inside over an hour ago."

"We were up on the cliffs," Kiriko explained, shrugging out of her layers now that they were next to a roaring fire. "It came on so fast."

They had little time to rest, though. A few hours later, after dinner, they were lounging around inside while the wind howled and whistled outside. Anisa had curled up in a chair by the fire to read a book while Kiriko let Raniq style her hair into a multitude of tiny, beaded braids. It was so relaxing that she was nearly asleep when Korra burst into the room.

"Hey, I need your help, if you're willing. The villages outside of the city are getting buried and the Council is asking every able-bodied waterbender to help evacuate them to the city shelters."

"What about me?" Kiriko asked, jumping to her feet. "I can help, too!"

"Yeah, of course. I need all three of you."

And so they all went to get bundled back up.

"I'm going to be driving one of the trucks," Asami said with a worried frown pulling her brows down. "Promise me you'll all stay together."

Korra nuzzled her nose and kissed the tip of it. "Don't worry, Mama. I'll keep the ducklings with me."

At first, the conditions outside didn't seem so bad. Korra kept the worst of the blizzard at bay with a seemingly effortless combination of air, water, and firebending from the back of a big truck that was stuffed full of volunteers.

Kiriko beamed up at her with pride; it wasn't often that she got to see her mom actually being the Avatar. There had been many years of peace—pretty much most of her life, aside from the odd minor conflict here and there—and she'd only seen Korra in the Avatar state when she was showing off.

She wasn't using it now, though. Half of the other waterbenders were helping keep the storm away from the three trucks that rumbled through the black void of night. The other half plowed a path for them; the snow was already almost as tall as the trucks themselves.

It wasn't until they made it to the first village and split into groups that a shadow of fear began to creep up. The people there were near to panicking; children cried while their mothers held them with worried faces. Kiriko had never been in any truly dangerous situations before and found that she wasn't feeling quite as brave as expected.

But Korra kept close to them. "Stay with me!" she shouted over the wind. "Do exactly what I tell you. If anything happens and I need to go somewhere else quickly, stay exactly where you are."

For two hours, they dug out—or melted, in Kiriko's case—paths so people could escape their homes, loaded them onto the trucks, and took them back to the city. Back and forth. The storm never let up. Eventually, the path was a tunnel of packed snow that blocked out mother nature's vicious tantrum. Her wailing dropped off, distant now, and it was almost worse. Eerie.

But the villages themselves were not so sheltered, and going back out into the storm made Kiriko long for the tunnel again. They were checking for any stragglers left behind in one village when the driving snow became mixed with hail. One large piece hit her on the head and she felt it through the thick hood of her parka. Lightning flashed bright enough to cause spots in her vision and the instantaneous crack of thunder shook the ground under her feet.

"Mom!" she yelled over the screaming wind. Terrified. Cowering.

Korra didn't say anything back; instead, her eyes lit up without warning. The snow began to swirl around her in a sphere that grew into a dome, getting bigger and bigger until the entire village was inside of it.

Kiriko gaped in wonder as Korra's feet left the ground. Rings of fire and snow lifted her up as her hair and clothes whipped around furiously. Her face was somehow both calm and fierce, transcending the human visage to become something… more .

Outside, hail slammed into the dome shield. Thunder and lightning shuddered through, rapid fire, as if the sky's rage had reached its final peak. And Korra held it all back with her arms lifted above her head.

Now on her knees, Kiriko finally realized that Anisa and Raniq were huddled up against her, the three of them clinging to each other. Aside from the fire around Korra, everything was pitch dark. Lightning no longer lit up the space and, very slowly, the sounds of the storm grew quieter until Korra returned to the ground and the glow vanished from her eyes.

Kiriko rushed toward her, hand held aloft with a flame to see, and found her panting on one knee.

"That was…incredible!"

Korra let out a tired laugh. "Hey, they don't call me the Avatar for nothing."

"Is the storm over?" Raniq asked in a shaky voice.

"No. The snow piled up over the dome. We need to get everyone out quickly now because the trucks are going to poison what little air is left."

The whole ride back, Kiriko couldn't stop looking at her. She'd always known the Avatar state was powerful, and she knew there were plenty of times Korra had used it for even greater things, but this was her first real taste of what an Avatar could do. What they were meant for.

And she thought to herself:

Why have I been so worried about her all this time, whenever she leaves? Who could ever stand against that? An Avatar in her prime. She's invincible.


It came easily now. Kiriko wondered how she'd struggled with it for so long. The chi building up in her fingertips practically vibrated and she waved it through the air in an almost dance-like motion. Sparks flying. That lethal power was intoxicating.

The release felt almost as good, as did the satisfying CRACK when electricity hit stone. The pillar—which had been raised in the middle of the backyard—shattered and crumbled, completely obliterated. Korra even had to deflect some of the pieces away from herself with earthbending.

"Excellent," she said. "Your form needs no correcting. It's better than mine, actually."

"Really?"

"Yep. It's never been a natural-feeling technique for me. I don't use it unless I have to."

For some reason, the effort of lightning generation always tired Kiriko out. She sat cross-legged on the ground and leaned back on her hands. "I thought firebending was like, your 'thing'?"

"Sure, but lightning is different. It doesn't feel like firebending. It's too…"

"Fickle?" Kiriko guessed.

"Exactly. I like to be in fully control of my bending. Lightning can't be controlled."

"Mako told me it only took you a couple of weeks to learn how to do it," she said with an air of petulance.

Korra shrugged. "I'm the Avatar. Bending has always come easily to me. Even air, once I got over the block. It's just an Avatar thing, I guess."

"Not for Kyoshi," Kiriko countered, remembering some of her history lessons. "She was a terrible bender when she was younger. You told me that."

"Heh. You're right. I guess I forgot. Gimme a break, I'm getting old."

"You are not," Kiriko scoffed. "Forty-five isn't old."

"It is when you've got two grown kids and not enough time to work out. Do yourself a favor and keep your body limber. Stretch every single day. It'll start to get harder after you hit thirty, but that's when you need to work at it even more."

"I don't intend to ever stop. I want to keep doing pro-bending until I'm at least forty. Hopefully longer."

"Speaking of which, didn't you say you had practice at one o'clock?"

Kiriko looked at her watch and jumped up with a gasp; it was twenty to one. "I'm gonna be late!"

"Tell Judo to step on it!" Korra called after her, laughing.


"You seem a little grouchy today," Shein observed while they were warming up.

"My mom's gonna be gone for a few days and I ran off without saying goodbye to her," Kiriko muttered. She hadn't realized it until her driver had already taken her out of the neighborhood.

"What are you, five?" Lotak teased.

"No, I just love my mom," she retorted, unbothered by the dig. "Don't you?"

"I don't even know your mom."

They all laughed, but it wasn't enough to bring Kiriko out of her funk. As such, what she found waiting for her back home was a welcome surprise.

"Mom? I thought you were leaving on your trip today?"

"Can't wait to get rid of me, huh?" Korra asked with a smirk.

Kiriko rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "You know that's not what I meant."

"I have to wait until tomorrow morning. The place I'm going, Chal Iyen, hasn't exactly caught up with our modern way of life, so I'm taking my glider. But I noticed one of the wings is damaged. It's getting fixed overnight."

That was good news, indeed. "We're all here tonight!"

There was a time-honored tradition in the Sato household: Whenever Korra planned to go somewhere far away and be gone for longer than a day or so, the four of them stayed up watching television in bed, eating snacks and making fun of the terrible acting in the movers that ran late into the night.

It wasn't always possible, as she was often called away with little or no notice. Last night, they hadn't been able to because Asami had needed to do something at the factory and didn't get home until the middle of the night. And the tradition required all four of them to be there.

Korra grinned at her, a little mockingly but mostly just with fondness. "I hope you never grow out of enjoying that. I used to worry that you and Anisa would eventually think it was silly and childish. And that we might stop doing it when you got older."

"Nope. Even if I get my own place, even if I'm thirty years old, I'm still gonna come over and crash in your bed and eat all your junk food."

"Good to know."


Kiriko started losing the battle with sleepiness around two in the morning. On her right, Anisa was already passed out with her head on Asami's lap.

"Do you think the Spirits in Chal Iyen are dark Spirits?" she mused, snuggled up next to Korra. She popped another piece of mochi in her mouth in an attempt to stay awake.

"I'm not really sure what I'll find. More than likely, there's just something out of balance in the area. I'll probably have to spend a few days sorting it all out and helping the residents understand the situation."

"Do you think I could ever come with you on a mission one day?"

"Hm. Maybe. But not tomorrow. It's been a long time since you were small enough for me to carry you on my glider."

"Much less you and Anisa," Asami added. "I'm sure she wouldn't want to be left out."

"Maybe we can make a family vacation out of it, next time," Kiriko said with a chuckle. "Team Avatar 2.0."

Korra hummed and ran her fingers through Kiriko's hair, the braid shaken out long ago. "Sounds good."


Kiriko woke to the dim light of sunrise and the sounds of someone moving around the room.

"Sorry," Korra said when she noticed. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"'S okay…"

"See you in a few days." She sat on the bed and leaned over to lay a soft kiss on Kiriko's temple. "Love you."

"Love you."

The last sounds she heard were Korra and Asami's quiet voices as they said goodbye to each other. She was vaguely aware of Anisa at her back, still sound asleep, before dozing off once again.


A week passed.

"Have you heard from Mom? I thought for sure she'd be back by now."

"There aren't any phones or radios there," Asami said. "But Jinora has offered to fly over on her bison and make sure she doesn't need any help with the Spirits."

Kiriko took that in stride and went on with her day. Autumn was in full swing, as was pro-bending season. She loved being busy. Loved having something to look forward to.

Her team was better this year, now that they knew each other and had found a good rhythm. Their first few matches were won easily and she was feeling more confident than ever. It wasn't difficult for Anisa to convince her to go out celebrating that weekend.

They didn't get home until well past midnight and were surprised to see the kitchen light on. After a quick, confused glance between the two of them, they found Asami sitting at the table with her hands wrapped around a steaming mug. Her face was completely blank, staring into the distance.

"Mama…?" Anisa said hesitantly. "Why are you still up?"

She finally looked over at them. "Girls… Come sit down."

Kiriko's stomach dropped. Her focus narrowed and everything outside of it seemed to go dark. "No. No! No no no no." She realized she was slowly backing up when she bumped into a standing lamp.

"Hey," Asami said softly, brows furrowed, as she got up to walk over to them. "Calm down. We just aren't exactly sure where she is, okay? She probably got sidetracked on her way home. You know how she is. She'll stop to help anyone who needs it."

Kiriko couldn't speak. She could barely even listen. All she could see was the worry in her mom's eyes that betrayed the calm words. This isn't happening. Oh, Spirits, this can't be happening. My worst nightmare is coming true.

"What–" Anisa seemed to choke on her voice. "What did Jinora say?"

"She said that Korra apparently left several days ago, but on foot because someone had stolen her glider. Probably just a curious kid who wanted a souvenir. According to the people in the village, she wasn't too bothered by it and started walking toward the closest town with a radio. But Jinora didn't find her on the main road, so we can only assume something made her go a different way."

Breathe. Just breathe. This doesn't necessarily mean anything bad happened. Nobody can take her down. She's the Avatar.

"We're putting out a call for volunteers for a search," Asami continued. "First thing in the morning–"

"Morning?" Kiriko finally blurted. "Why not now?! We need to start looking right now! She's already been out there for days!"

"It's dark and everyone's asleep. There's nothing we can do right now. It's better for us to try and get some sleep so we're rested for a long day." Her voice was so calm. Way too calm. It was eerie and unsettling.

They piled into her bed that night. It was reminiscent of the night before Korra had left, but a twisted, corrupted imitation. Then, they'd all been happy and relaxed. Together. Now the three of them huddled up with Asami in the middle. Occasional sniffles broke the heavy silence. Kiriko didn't sleep at all and she was pretty sure the others didn't, either.

All through those long hours, her thoughts went around in one endless circle. What if Korra was hurt? But what could hurt her? And why wouldn't she just heal herself? Maybe she'd run out of water. But she could just bend some more from the plants. Maybe she got chi-blocked. But who could sneak up on her like that?

It all came back to: Surely nothing bad could happen to her. She's too strong. So then where is she? And why is she making us worry?

The phone ringing made them all jump. With the curtains pulled, the room was still pitch dark, but a glance at the clock showed that it was just past five. Kiriko lunged for the phone, desperate to hear her mom's voice.

Maybe she turned up and there's no need to search. I can go to pro-bending practice like usual and this sleepless night will be forgotten. "Mom?"

"...Kiriko?" Mako's voice said. "That you?"

She slumped in disappointment. "Yeah. Do you have news?"

"Not the kind of news you're asking about, I'm sure. Sorry. Can I talk to Asami?"

Kiriko held the handset out. That brief surge of hope had receded so quickly, leaving behind a dull numbness. "It's Mako."

Whatever they were talking about didn't even matter. It wasn't good news, and therefore she didn't care enough to try and listen.

"Right, we'll be there soon," Asami said finally. "Thanks for letting me know."

"Well?" Anisa said as soon as she hung up.

"Last night, Mako, Jinora, and I asked the major news channels and stations to broadcast a call for volunteers. Apparently, a bunch of people have already shown up at the police headquarters and are waiting for instructions."

"What are we waiting for?" Kiriko demanded, jumping out of bed. She desperately needed to do something. "Let's go!"


In her eighteen years, Kiriko had experienced many bad days. Whenever things went wrong in her life, they always felt like the worst things in the world—each worse than the last.

The first week of the search put all of that into perspective. She would've rathered relived every awful moment up until then. Every argument, every disappointment, every loss, every injury, every stressful day, every tear. None of it could compare to the debilitating anxiety and uncertainty that grew stronger with every passing day.

From sunup to sundown, they scoured the wilderness in one of the most remote parts of the Earth Kingdom. The first day began with a sense of cautious optimism; the seventh day ended with a dying flame of hope that had to be looked after with great care.

The other members of her pro-bending team had joined the search, but only Shein remained by the end of the first week. The others had lives. Bills to pay. They said they were sorry and hoped it turned out well, and Kiriko screamed at them. Angry. So angry. Deep down, she knew it was misplaced, but she refused to give them her blessing to find replacements for her and Shein. The Polar Bear Dogs couldn't play while Korra was still out there somewhere.

The second week was more of a blur. She could barely remember sleeping or eating. There was just day after day of endless searching. Scrubbing tired, raw eyes that didn't have any tears left.

The third and fourth weeks were sharper. A burning ache that had started in her chest was now spreading to the rest of her body, which was being pushed far past its usual limit but with much less food.

After one month had passed without the volunteers finding even a single trace of Korra, the search was finally called off. Only about a quarter of the original number remained, by then—mostly Beifongs.

"How can we just quit?!" Kiriko exploded when they were packing up everything and getting ready to board the airship back to the city.

Mako, who had deep purple bags under his eyes and a drawn, hollowness in his cheeks, looked at her with pain in his gaze. "We've scoured the area. Searched every corner of wilderness in a hundred square miles. Been to every city, town, and village in the region. No one has seen her or heard anything about her. I don't–" His voice caught and he cleared his throat. "I don't know what more we can do."

"She's still alive!" Kiriko said, almost pleading, still fanning that dying ember in her heart. "She is!"

"I hope you're right. But I don't know where else we can look. We'll just have to hope she finds a way to get a message to us."

Something about his words stuck in Kiriko's mind, but she couldn't quite form a useful thought with it. Too tired. Her head felt thick and fuzzy from lack of sleep and poor nutrition. It was hard to keep anything down these days.

Raniq, who had come when she could get away from her work, did her best to offer comfort. "You need rest. Take a couple of days to recuperate–"

"How?! How do I sleep, Raniq? I close my eyes and I see her face. I think of all the horrible things that could've happened to her and it–" Somehow, more tears came and she let Raniq hug her. But it didn't help.

At home, Asami and Mako—who had driven them back—locked themselves in the office.

"Wonder what they're talking about," Anisa muttered in the thin voice she'd had for the last couple of weeks. She and Kiriko had stayed within earshot of each other through it all, closer than they'd ever been. Sisters bound by the pain of loss.

"I don't care. I don't want to know." The words spilled from her mouth before she was even aware of them. "I don't want to hear them give up."

"Mama won't," Anisa whispered. "She won't. Uncle Mako might, but she won't."

"What about you?"

She just shook her head. "No. But I need a break. I need to sleep…"

An idea occurred to Kiriko then, born from desperation. "Do you have any booze?"


"Well…" Anisa said as she swayed where she sat in Kiriko's bed. "I think– think that's enough. I'll puke if I have any more. Nice and…sleepy…" Her head hit the pillow and she blinked slowly a couple of times.

Kiriko was also quite drunk. She was more drunk than she'd ever been in her life, actually, but the bottle in her hand was still half full.

"I'm not tired yet." Was it true? She wasn't sure. Everything felt weird. Big. It was like all the small things in the room had grown, while all the large things were shrinking.

"At least turn out the light."

"Fine."

On her way back to the bed, Kiriko tripped over a shoe and dropped the bottle. Most of it spilled before she managed to pick it back up, and she just sat there and cried for a few minutes. It was gone! All of it! Soaking into the carpet. She'd never be able to finish drinking it…

"Koko, wha's wrong?" Anisa slurred.

"Don't fucking call me that!" she yelled—or tried to, anyway. The angry words got stuck in her throat and she choked on them.

Some indeterminate amount of time later, awareness returned with a sickening lurch. The scratchy texture of carpet on her cheek and the smell of booze nearby were together enough to wake her up enough to stumble to the bathroom and vomit up the burning contents of her stomach. Fortunately, the drunken stupor remained and she made it back to her bed, where Anisa was softly snoring.


The fading light of late afternoon met Kiriko's eyes the next time consciousness returned. She only knew it was that time because her bedroom window face west and she'd forgotten to close the curtains last night. Bleary eyes could see a brilliant sunset of deep reds and vibrant oranges.

"Ugh…" she groaned, still nauseated. It felt like someone had hammered nails into her temples. "Fuck."

"Shhh. Don't gotta shout…" Anisa muttered.

"I didn't."

Despite her complaint, Anisa sat up and yawned, looking surprisingly refreshed. "I'd forgotten how much fire whiskey makes my head hurt in the morning. Wow, you look like shit."

"Urgh…"

"You said something to me last night…" Her brows furrowed in thought. "I can't quite remember… It's so hard to think straight."

She sighed and lay back down. Neither of them spoke for a while, though it was impossible to fall back asleep. Kiriko didn't feel rested at all. If anything, she felt worse than before. Her head, though throbbing, was starting to clear from the haze of sleep deprivation, leaving behind wide-awake fatigue and unrelenting inner turmoil.

Deep shadows filled the room before Anisa spoke again.

"I remember!"

"Ow, shhh!"

"Sorry. But I remember what you said, and I feel like an idiot for not thinking of it sooner. Mom told me once, a long time ago, that if anything ever happened to her that we should look for her in the Spirit world. She told you too, didn't she? That's what you were talking about last night."

Kiriko finally sat up and gave it some thought. She had no memory of anything like that, but what Anisa was saying sounded very familiar. The day of her test had been the only time she'd managed to meditate into the Spirit world, but it had been like all her normal dreams—mostly faded by the time she woke up.

"It made me so sad when she said that," Anisa continued in a whisper. "I thought she meant that, when she died, some remnant of her Spirit would go there and wait for the next Avatar to find her. But now I'm not so sure. What if she meant that, if she was in trouble, she could meditate there and communicate with us?"

The revelation sent a jolt through Kiriko's stomach and she was very nearly sick all over the bed. Why didn't I think of that? Aloud, she said, "We need to talk to Jinora. I can't meditate there on my own."

"Neither can I."

They looked at each other. Reflected in Anisa's eyes, Kiriko saw that flame of hope in her heart fanned back to life. It was a cold fire, but a fire nonetheless.

When they told Asami their idea, some of that hope slipped away.

"Jinora thought of that already and has been searching for her spirit, both here and in the Spirit world, but hasn't had any luck. That doesn't necessarily mean anything, though. She said she could be concealing herself for some reason, or maybe someone else is doing it."

"But we know a special place!" Anisa exclaimed, her voice full of fragile confidence. "The meadow! You've been there, right? Maybe we can help Jinora find it."

"It's worth a shot, isn't it?" Kiriko added.

"Yes. It is."


Try as she might, Kiriko simply could not enter the Spirit world. When Anisa successfully made it in with Jinora's guidance, Asami tried to offer some comfort.

"Maybe they'll find something. Just…keep in mind that time flows differently there."

Tenzin brought them tea and a few kind words where they sat in a quiet gazebo on Air Temple Island. "I've always had trouble getting there, myself," he said in his deep voice. "It comes naturally to Jinora. I guess it skipped my generation."

"What about Cheli?" Kiriko asked. She didn't really care, but at least talking distracted her a little.

"Oh, she's a bit of a funny case," he said with a fond smile. "Certainly an air nomad at heart, with a deep spiritual connection to our culture. But she's never been detached from the world, and she has a wildness that I've never quite understood. To answer your question, she took to the Spirit world just as easily as her mother."

They waited for a long time—an hour, then another. Finally, when Kiriko was about to get up and find something to eat, Anisa and Jinora opened their eyes. It was clear from their somber expressions that the news wasn't great.

"I couldn't find it," Anisa said, downcast. "We looked all over. I don't know where that place is."

During the long wait, a backup plan had begun to form in Koko's mind. "I won't give up. If I can't get into the Spirit world through meditation, then I'll go through the portal.

"Kiriko–" Asami began.

"Don't tell me not to," she begged. "Please, don't tell me to give up."

Between her mothers, Korra had always been emotionally tougher, but also more expressive. Asami had rarely let them see her tears. And so when several dripped down her face, Kiriko knew it must be serious.

Still, Asami drew herself up, head high. "I don't want you to give up. I certainly won't, not until I see a body."

That word—and the awful mental image that went along with it—shot through Kiriko's heart like a lance and made her breath catch. Asami continued before she could find her voice.

"But please don't make me watch you two go in there, one of the most dangerous places you could possibly go. I can't bear it. I can't– I can't go with you. And I can't bear to be left behind to wait and worry."

"How is it any different than us going in like I just did?" Anisa said in the brief silence that followed.

Jinora was the one who answered. "It's different. You know it's different. I also can't go with you through the portal. With Korra missing, my responsibility to this city has doubled. I have to be here in case something comes through the portal."

Furious with the whole situation, Kiriko got up and stormed away. She made it down to the beach before anyone found her.

"Hey," Anisa said softly. A sharp edge to her voice betrayed the apparent calm.

"Why aren't you angry?" Kiriko demanded. "Where's that rage you had last year?"

"Oh, you want me to be angry? Fine! Has it occurred to you that I was asleep when Mom left? That she didn't wake me up to say goodbye? Has it?! So yeah, I'm angry. I'm pissed. I won't give up, not ever, because I refuse to let her go without at least a proper goodbye."

Her voice was shaking by the end of it, tears streaming down her reddened face. Kiriko just stood there in stunned silence, trying not to cry, herself. The hazy memory of that morning was something she'd replayed over and over again. A cherished memory. So many times she had thought about that day—how she ran off to pro-bending practice without saying goodbye. It would've been unbearable if Korra had left that day.

Anisa wiped her face and continued, calmer now. "What exactly do you expect Mama to do, anyway? If we go, she'll be all alone. I can't do that to her. Can you?"

The question was more of an accusation, and Kiriko dropped her head in shame as the anger dissipated, leaking out of her eyes. Spirits, she was sick of crying.

"No."

"We're just going to have to keep trying to meditate. Jinora said she'll help us whenever she can spare some time. And I'll help you, too."


A/N: In the next two chapters, we'll take a bit of a break from the Korra stuff to get a glimpse of life from Raniq's POV!