SONG: So, thank you for taking a chance on me…I know it isn't easy…But I hope to be worth it…And oh, stupid things I do…I'm far from good, it's true…Still, I find you…Next to me ~ Next To Me by Imagine Dragons
Chapter 12
Stiles:
"Stiles?" She sighed, opening her eyes. She had dozed off curled into my side when I could finally get her to move to the bed.
"Hey. How are you feeling?" I asked, still running my hand through her hair. I hadn't stopped since she got here.
"I'm okay, I guess." She said sitting up. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have just come over like that."
"You can always come over. You know that."
"I- I should go." She said, slipping off the bed.
"You don't have too." I reached for her hand.
"I have to go."
"Okay." I let her go and watched her walk back toward the window.
"I'm sorry." I said before she could step one foot out. She stopped but didn't turn around. "I know I should give you space. I get your mad at me. I hate it but I get it. I messed up. I wasn't… trying to hide this from you, not really. I was stupidly thinking that I needed to do this for you to take some of the burden of it off you. I was wrong. That was never my choice to make. So, I'm sorry if I made you feel any other way then strong enough to handle this. I just wanted to say that before you leave."
She turned back around, looked at me then crossed arms and turned away. Only to uncross her arms and wring her hands together. I twitched in her direction. I watched her turn take two steps toward the window then turn back and take two steps toward me, open her mouth as if to speak and then close it, just to do it all over again. This happened a few times before I said screw it and reached for her, holding her by the shoulders to stop her.
"Malia, you're starting to make me dizzy. Can you please just say something? Yell at me. Scream at me. Tell me to go to hell. Just say something."
She reached for my shirt gripping the front and yanked me to her. She started to lean in only to stop, growling or groaning or some weird mixture, and push me away.
"I don't know if I want to kiss you or pinch you." she huffed.
"Pinch me? Why pinch?"
"Because if I punch you, I will really hurt you. I don't want to do that."
"That's valid. So… do both." I shrugged. Taking my suggestion, she pinched my nipple through my shirt. "Ow." I said but didn't yank away.
Once again, she grabbed my shirt and pulled me in crashing her lips to mine. My hands ended up on her hips trying to bring her as close as possible to me. She started to pull away and I followed. She groaned and again pushed me away.
"Feel better?" I asked.
"No, I feel all itchy now." She muttered. I nodded.
"But are you still mad."
"No."
"But you're also not happy with me."
"No, I mean yes." she sighed. "I don't want to be mad at you Stiles. I get why you did what you did. But I hate that you did it. I don't like feeling weak like that Stiles. Like I need you to save me all the time."
"I know. I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way. I don't see you as weak or helpless." I said stepping into her again and cautiously wrapping my arms around her.
"Don't do it again. Don't hide things like this from me."
"I won't, I promise."
"Good."
"Still not happy?" I asked, rocking us both.
"I don't know."
"Still feeling itchy?"
"Yes. I hate it. I don't like not talking to you. It feels weird and… I miss you when I don't see you or talk to you."
"I know. Me too."
"Can we just cuddle now? I really want to cuddle."
With a chuckle, I pulled her over to the bed, lying down I pulled her down on top of me, resting her head against my chest. Putting one of my hands in her hair she snuggled in with a sigh.
"Better?" I asked, massaging her scalp.
"Yes. Thank you."
"You're welcome." Slipping under the back of her shirt, stroking her skin I felt her relax further into me.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She shrugged.
"Okay, well when you do, I'll listen."
The silence didn't last long. Maybe a few minutes tops.
"I talked to Peter." She blurted out. Smiling, I hummed in acknowledgement. "He's my dad."
"Did you get confirmation on that?"
"No, but…"
"You feel that it's right."
"Yeah, with everything that he told me, it just makes sense."
"Okay, and what did he tell you?"
She told me everything Peter explained to her. About how he got information on her birth mother. Who she was, what she was and what she wanted to do. How she realized that Derek is her cousin, and she had an "OMG,' moment.
"Okay and why was that an OMG moment? Just curious."
"Because when I first met him before Scott went all Hulk Smash on everyone, I thought he was hot. Now it's feels weird that I ever thought that about him."
"Firstly, no, Derek, not hot. What's so hot about him? What just because he has those smoldering eyes, or the chiseled jaw or the…" I was just proving her point not mine.
"See, you think he's hot too."
"I do not think he's hot. I just don't think he's hideous."
She laughed. We stayed quiet, enjoying the peace of just being together. So relieved we seemed to have gotten through our first fight with no lasting damage. Right as I started to feel I could doze off she popped up, straddling my legs.
"I didn't kill my family." She announced.
"Okay, you said that before. What do you mean?" I asked propping up against the headboard.
"I had a memory resurface when talking to Peter. You remember that dream I was telling you I had been having."
"The one about the car accident?"
"Yeah. And I told you that I kept seeing someone standing in front of the car."
"Right, but you weren't sure if that actually happened or if it was a figment of your imagination."
"I'm pretty sure it was real. And I pretty sure it was her."
"Her. You mean the desert wolf, your biological mother?"
She nodded. Her eyes started to glisten.
"I'm pretty sure she was there and I'm… sure she was the one that killed my mother and sister."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because, after Peter told me why Talia took me away, to keep me safe. I started thinking. If she wanted to kill me as a baby just for some supposed power I stole from her at birth Then she would not have stopped looking for me. I know Talia stole Peter's memory, but not hers right?"
"So, she would still know the day you were born, and she would track that as far as she could to find you."
"Right. And I remember Stiles. I can… hear the gunshots the screams the crash. All of it, as if it just happened. I remember the blinding headlights that were pointing at our car when my mother crashed."
"So, the car or whatever that was stopped in the middle of the road with the person standing in front holding out a hand to you was waiting for you."
"Exactly because they were right on our side of the road but facing us. If it had been a coincidence or accident, they wouldn't have been stopped. I think it was her. I think she found me and had planned to kill me. Maybe she thought she had. The car was totaled and there was blood everywhere. Maybe she thought she finally got me. According to Peter she thinks I'm dead."
"Are you absolutely sure she thinks you are dead."
"I don't know. I mean there is no way for me to know for sure. Peter has done some digging but that's all he found so far, or at least that's all he told me. The point is that I didn't kill them. All this time I thought I murdered my family. That I ripped them apart because of what I am. But it wasn't me. Maybe I shifted as a result of them getting murdered in front of me and not because I'm a monster." She sniffled swiping at the tear that had escaped.
"Malia, you were never a monster. Not once. Even if this wasn't the case, that accident was never your fault. Their deaths were never your fault." I pulled her to me for a hug.
"I know, I've heard it from my dad, the therapist and you. But I couldn't help feeling responsible. It's why I was so scared of hurting you."
"I know."
"I still worry that I won't be able to control myself."
"You will. I'm not worried." I told her cupping her face to look at me. "I trust you, completely."
A brush of my lips against hers.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to stay away yesterday. I was just-."
"It's okay. You need time to think this through, wrap your head around it. I'm just glad you're here now."
"I missed you."
"I missed you too."
Another kiss.
"Stiles."
"Yeah."
"I was thinking, before all this happened."
"Okay, what about."
"Homecoming is this coming weekend. And I know you said we didn't have to plan anything, but…"
I froze, my hand stopping its path up and down her back.
"But." I didn't want to guess what she was suggesting. But I silently prayed to the deities that it was what I thought it was.
"I know you mentioned that your dad was doing overnight on Saturday, so you were thinking of hanging out at Scotts place after the dance. But maybe we could… come back here?"
I looked at her, seeing her nerves but also something else. Her eyes were darker, and I could swear she was giving off pheromones left and right.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Yes. I really need to be with you. Really be with you. I don't want to wait anymore."
"Me either. It's becoming too hard to keep my hands off you. I need to be with you too. I just don't want you to get scared or overwhelmed thinking you will hurt me."
"I don't either but after talking to Lydia, I'm not as worry about that."
"What did she tell you? Scott said that there was something else mentioned in the call but that I had to talk to you about it. What was it?"
"She told me that I didn't have to worry because she said that…" she bit her bottom lip.
"Malia, what did she say."
"She noticed that you just touching me calms me down, and that sometimes when I am feeling frustrated in class that I say your name to get myself under control. And I thought about it and she's right. You are usually the first person I think of when I get out of control. I think about you, and I can feel myself calming down."
"She thinks I am your anchor." I said smiling.
"Yeah, and so do I. you mean more to me than anyone. I-."
She stopped and squirmed a little. Feelings still weren't her forte. She was getting better, but it was still hard for her to admit some things.
"I think I can handle it because it's you. And I could never really hurt you."
"I know you won't." I told her, pushing her hair back. "Okay, homecoming."
She smiled, her lips meeting mine. a slow languid kiss, her tongue stroking mine. her body pressed as close to mine as she could get. Her hips rocked against me. My hands slipped under her shirt, caressing warm skin, moving to soft breast, peaked nipples. She gasped then groaned jerking her hips again. Lips moving down her slender neck. Her hands gripping my hair.
"Stiles." She whispered.
"You feel so good." I groaned pressing her firmly against me, sucking hard on one spot. She whimpered grinding down on me. That definitely felt good, and my jeans were becoming very uncomfortable. More desperate kissing, more roaming hands.
"I don't want to know what's going on in there. But you have 10 seconds to stop before I come in there and then you're both grounded." My dad shouted from the living room, and it was like a bucket of cold water, with ice, dumped all over us.
We pulled away and she fell onto the bed beside me. Both of us panting and trying hard to gain a semblance of control.
"So, homecoming." She said.
"Homecoming."
