Poetry, Tea And Croissants
Summary: If they thought Adam was a strange guest to visit someone like Dazai, they get the shock of their life when the Assassin King himself seemingly comes back from the dead for teatime with Dazai.
Part 2 of Dazai's Strangest Guests
The incident with Adam was pretty much pushed out of everyone's minds by the time the Armed Detective Agency and the Port Mafia dealt with Dostoevsky and the Rats a few weeks later. It was just that one anecdote they shared with people who weren't there for it, like the President and Haruno or Lucy and Poe. The former(?) Guild members sure had a lot of questions about the android and their reactions to Soukoku's stories were even more hilarious than the Agency's had been.
Still, it pretty much slipped their mind after some time and they wrote it off as a one-time thing. After all, surely a visit from an android was the weirdest thing they could expect to emerge from Dazai's past in such a casual way.
They couldn't be more wrong.
Of course.
Still, none of them could have expected that Kunikida would have the jump-scare of his life when he came to the office early in the morning because he had been neglecting paperwork while they fought for the President's life and so he needed to finish it all in a timely manner. Usually, since it was before the Agency's office hours began, he was alone for about an hour before anyone else arrived, so it was pretty peaceful and he could focus completely on the work that was to be done.
This time, however, there was someone there before him.
Someone he didn't know and who definitely did not work for the Armed Detective Agency in any way, shape or form. For one, he wore clothes way too expensive for someone with a detective's salary. Then there was the fact that he was clearly a foreigner. And, to top it all off, he was inside the Agency office. When they were closed. Without having triggered a single alarm. And he was just sitting there, flipping through some book or something, steaming tea and fresh croissants on the table in front of him in the receiving area. So completely calm and composed how only the most confident fighters are.
Needless to say, Kunikida activated the manual alarm to alert the rest of the Agency and call for backup before he engaged this intruder, gun already materializing in his hand.
Needless to say, the other detectives came to the pretty interesting sight of the platinum blond man casually sitting on top of a trussed up Kunikida, still sipping tea and flipping through a book. No, a notebook.
Needless to say, they shouldn't have been as surprised as they were that Dazai Osamu, their ever infuriating, ever mysterious colleague, knew the guy.
"Verlaine-san?"
The unknown blond - now identified as Verlaine - perked up and smiled as ice blue eyes settled on the brunet. "Dazai-kun, a pleasure to see you again. I heard you finally came out of hiding a while ago but things have been hectic as of late. Now that things have settled, I figured we could finally go back to our poetry sessions. Look! I even brought your favorite tea! It was a bother to get them from Ozaki," he says with a sigh of complaint.
Dazai, on the other hand, visibly perks up in delight as his eyes zero in on the tea. "I haven't had Ane-san's tea since I arranged for Kyouka-chan's freedom from the mafia."
"Ah, yes, how is little Izumi? She was a delight to teach."
"I'm doing well, Verlaine-shishou," Kyouka herself answered, pushing to the front to stand side by side with Dazai. "Thank you for the lessons, they've come in handy. How have you been?"
"Wait, Verlaine?! As in, Guivre Verlaine!?" Tanizaki shrieked, glad he'd convinced Naomi to stay in the Agency dorm.
"Paul Verlaine, the Assassin King?" Fukuzawa questioned warily, eyeing the intruder so casually and easily restraining his subordinate, pupil and successor. Verlaine noticed so he excused himself and got off of the other blond.
"He did attack me."
"I'm honestly surprised Kunikida-san still has all his limbs attached," Kyouka commented and Dazai snorted in agreement.
The other detectives, though, only tensed further.
Well, except Kenji. The freckled boy beamed at the man in the fancy suit. "He looks like Mr Fancy Hat! But without the hat!"
Verlaine arched an eyebrow at the beaming child. "Mr ... Fancy Hat?"
"Chuuya," Dazai supplied and suddenly it was Verlaine who was beaming.
"Thank you, child. It is the greatest honor to be compared to my little brother-"
"I thought he was a clone?" Atsushi whispered to Tanizaki.
Yosano, overhearing, snorted. "Clone or not, he's one hot piece of ass."
Dazai, overhearing her, grimaced. "Can you please not, Yosano-sensei? That's the chibi's brother and a former world-class assassin and first successful singularity host. Plus, he's taken."
"So?" Yosano arched an eyebrow. "He's still babygirl."
"Oh my god."
Verlaine looked as disgusted as Dazai. In fact, he looked ready to reach for a knife at any moment and as fun as it would be to see how well Fukuzawa fares against Verlaine, Dazai would rather avoid bloodshed between people he respects, if possible.
"So! Did you write any new poems you'd like to share? And which filling did you get for the croissants?"
That distracted Verlaine and he primly sat back where Kunukida had found him that morning, gesturing across from himself for Dazai to join him. "I have, indeed, written quite a few poems I'd like your opinion on ... And ... "
"Oh?" Dazai arched an eyebrow as he sat down on the free couch, once again ignoring his coworkers in favor of his unusual guest. "You're not here just for our poetry session?"
"I am ... But I also have something else I'd like to discuss with you. Something I've discovered while writing what may be one of my best poems yet ... "
"You haven't shown it to Chuuya yet?" The brunet asked a bit incredulously. "Why? I thought poetry was something you guys can bond over. I mean, the chibi's a poetry snob, but you've never hesitated to show him before ... Did you have a fight?"
"Nothing like that," reassured the older man. "It's just that ... I don't really know anyone else who I could talk to ... Not about this. No one is as informed on this topic that I could safely talk to as you."
Dazai tilted his head like a curious cat.
Verlaine cast a distrusting glance at the other detectives.
Understanding, the genius waved him off. "Oh, they won't judge you too much, don't worry. And they already know a bit about the whole "Stormbringer" incident from six years ago," Dazai reassured, making air quotes with his fingers in the appropriate place. Verlaine did not appear reassured but he also took one look at the assembled detectives and couldn't help but liken them to gossiping old ladies or curious kittens. "You don't have to go into detail about any of it. If you feel uncomfortable, we could always schedule a more private affair for it."
"I fear Chuuya might have my head if he even learned I reached out to you without 'consulting' him first," the assassin said with a sweatdrop. "This should be fine, I suppose." Dazai sweatdropped but waited for Verlaine to continue. Instead of explaining himself, though, the older man cleared his throat and started reading one of his poems. "Tears fall in my heart
Rain falls on the town;
what is this numb hurt
that enters my heart?
Ah, the soft sound of rain,
on rooftops, on the ground!
To a dulled heart they came,
ah, the song of the rain!
Tears without reason
in the disheartened heart.
What? no trace of treason?
This grief's without reason.
It's far the worst rain
to never know why
without love or disdain
my heart has such pain!" Verlaine shot Dazai a strangely vulnerable, self-conscious look at that, as though afraid of his reaction. "What do you think?"
Dazai had a genuinely sorrowful expression on his own features. "You were thinking of Randou-san again, weren't you?"
"As though I ever think of anything other than Arthur," came the scoff. "He haunts my mind and my heart each and every day, from dusk to dawn to dusk again, in a never-ending cycle, just repeating day to day, week to week, month to month, year to year, until I am to meet him in death ... If I even could."
"But you suspect you might be able to," the former Executive observed, leaning back and studying the Assassin King. "After all, you just discovered your Ability's name, didn't you? And it started coming back."
"Still sharp as ever, Dazai-kun."
"I have to be, Verlaine-san."
Verlaine chuckled to that, before leaning his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. He looked the very picture of defeat mixed with resigned hopefulness and a lost man drowning in his own grief and other strong, unamable emotions.
"What do you mean, Dazai-san?" Atsushi asked, drawing his mentor's attention to himself while Verlaine gathered himself.
"Hmm?"
"When you said he 'discovered' the name of his Ability?" Atsushi clarified and Dazai made a small 'o' of understanding with his mouth before launching into an explanation.
"Well, you see, Atsushi-kun, no one but the user themself can know the name of their Ability. However, how the user learns the name can significantly vary. For example, there are people who simply know the second their Ability manifests. Out of the people we know, the best example would be Akutagawa-kun and Rashoumon. Then, there are people who hear or read the word or phrase somewhere and it just ... clicks that this is the name of their Ability. I, myself, am an excellent example of this category." The Agency all wore sorrowful or angry grimaces as they realized what this meant and just how early on Dazai would have learned the name of his Ability, as he had practically been born with it constantly active. He'd once said he did not have a memory without his Ability ... "Or, I'm guessing, the President himself, too. Then there are people who accidentally construct the word or phrase themselves and realize that this was the missing puzzle piece. Besides Verlaine-san, who had recently clearly had this exact experience, the next best examples would be Chuuya and Yosano-sensei. They didn't just know the name immediately, instead, they had to bring it into the world before it clicked."
"But how do people just ... know when they hear it or say it?" Atsushi questioned, a bit skeptically but mostly just perplexed, and Dazai smiled at his current student.
"Well, Atsushi-kun, my dear weretiger, it comes from the soul, the same place the Ability is said to originate from. Which is why Verlaine-san is currently having an existential crisis," he explained, looking back at his guest. "He has lived his whole life as an artificial human and this was the first hint of true humanity not based on subjectively-perceived speculations that he received. It must be a lot to take in."
"Can you ... grow a soul?" Kyouka asked and to this, Dazai could only shrug, as he was no expert. He'd had this ... phase, where Abilities fascinated him, but it had always been much more than just a hobby. He'd researched and studied up on it so he could answer all sorts of questions and so he could be ready for any situation, for strategies and combat and torture and exploitation and anything in between. But also for the sake of trying to confirm a certain idiotic chibi's fears of never having been human as pure dumbassery. Still, souls were a bit of a mysterious 'black box' to him, too. That's a part of human nature neither religion/spirituality nor science can measure or truly study, let alone understand.
"Regardless, the fact of the matter is that Verlaine-san does, indeed, have a soul, so he's at least just the littlest bit human, ne?" He said to the platinum blond Executive, who gave an uncertain grunt. Dazai just chuckled, a bit fondly, and started nibbling on a croissant. (He made no move to offer any of his colleagues the treats, even if Ranpo was fairly drooling at the sight of them.) "So, what is it? The name of your Ability?"
" ... Tears Fall In My Heart ... "
Dazai hummed thoughtfully. "Makes sense. It's as depressing sounding and as deep as For The Tainted Sorrow ... Maybe you and Chuuya really are some sort of siblings."
That brought a melancholic smile to Verlaine's lips. "Do you think Arthur would have liked it?"
"I think he would have adored it," he replied sincerely and Verlaine surprised them all by blushing faintly. "I think Chuuya will like it too, for all that he's a poetry snob." That only seemed to make the blush rosier, but Verlaine was perking back up into happiness. "Do you want us to do this on the regular again? I'd say sorry I disappeared on you four years ago but I think Chuuya might kill us both if he's not the first person I genuinely apologize to for leaving."
"You better apologize to my little brother," warned Verlaine, 90% serious, despite the 'joking' undertone. "He thought you were dead, at first. It really affected him. But other than that, yes, I'd like it if we could do this like we used to ... Only I suppose I'll have to keep coming here? I doubt you'd be welcome back in the basement as anything but a 'guest'." Well, as much as someone can be a 'guest' in the Mafia's underground level mostly dedicated to torture chambers.
"You're welcome here anytime, as long as you don't cause trouble," Fukuzawa offered generously and Verlaine nodded. He said goodbye to everyone soon afterwards, leaving as though he hadn't broken into their office before the break of dawn to wait for the most infamous former Port Mafia Executive in Yokohama history just so he could read him a couple of poems. Once he was gone, Fukuzawa turned his attention to Dazai. "Would you mind explaining what, exactly, happened?"
Dazai sighed but complied. "As I'm sure Kyouka-chan can confirm, Verlaine-san leaves the basement of the Port Mafia HQ on extremely rare occasions." Kyouka nodded to this, supporting this claim. "This is for a number of reasons, one being the casualties he'd caused six years ago and so people are extremely distrustful of him. However, he did have a small handful of people who'd go down to visit him so he doesn't waste away in his solitude and grief. I was, if you'd believe it, the first. I wasn't afraid to die and I wasn't scared of Verlaine-san; we'd already come to a sort of mutual respect even when we were enemies, but the thing was ... Well, I was the only one willing to indulge him in talking about his deceased partner. I guess it warmed me up to him enough that we started having regular talks over tea and snacks, mostly croissants since they were one of Verlaine-san's favorites ... And the only thing he knew how to bake without anything blowing up. He'd mastered it because his partner had also loved croissants, with cocoa butter."
"That sounds delicious," Ranpo commented dreamily and Dazai just chuckled at him.
"Oh, they are. They're supposedly better with coffee, but I prefer tea and Verlaine-san doesn't really have a preference-"
"Wait, you prefer tea, Dazai-san? But why do you keep buying coffee in the cafe downstairs?" Atsushi interrupted and his mentor huffed.
"They make excellent coffee, but their tea isn't worth the paper of the bills they charge for it."
"Who would have guessed our Dazai-kun is a tea snob," their resident doctor teased but Dazai just rolled his eyes at her before going back to his story.
"Anyways, the hatrack eventually found out and he was still grieving from the above mentioned 'Stormbringer' incident, so he got mighty pissed that Verlaine-san was trying to cosy up to his higher ups-"
"Verlaine-san is an Executive."
"And I was Mori-san's right hand man basically since he became Boss, even before I officially joined the Mafia. Your point, Kyouka-chan?" The former assassin said nothing. Dazai nodded before continuing his story. "Anyways, Chuuya got even more mad with Verlaine-san, so I ended up trying to get the two to just chill out a bit. Poetry was the only thing they had in common, so poetry it was! Except the petite mafia is such a poetry snob despite only just discovering it a year earlier under Ane-san's tutelage and he'd snap at Verlaine-san over the dumbest of things. So I became Verlaine-san's sounding board, making sure he doesn't take any offensive or provocative materials to his 'bonding sessions' with Chuuya. They eventually managed to build some kind of relationship and my poetry advice was no longer needed, but it had turned into a habit at that point and so Verlaine-san and I had a bi-monthly poetry session over high quality tea and homemade croissants."
"And the Ability talk?" Ranpo questioned and Dazai sighed again, deep and slow, as though he was a bit tired.
"After meeting people like Verlaine-san and Shibusawa, I was interested in Abilities and dedicated a whole year to studying them. Verlaine-san does not know a single better informed person in that regard than me. Well, not a single person who wouldn't throw him into prison or back in a lab test tube."
"Is that really a genuine issue we should worry about?" Tanizaki asked with an uneasy expression, only to gulp even more nervously when a dark expression settled over Dazai's face, maliciously gleeful.
"Not anymore. Not now, at least. But should it ever happen, just don't get involved. Things have been prepared to handle such an event."
" ... I don't even want to know."
"I do!" Ranpo complained but Dazai did not elaborate, much to his pouting disappointment.
"So, is all that the reason he's so espresso-depresso?" Yosano asked, plopping into the seat Verlaine had vacated.
Dazai gave a sad smile at that. "No, the reason Verlaine-san is sad and self-isolates most of the time is because his partner is gone and it's partially his fault. He realized too late just how much he meant to him and then Randou-san was gone. Moreover, Randou-san's last act on this earth was to make his own Ability into a singularity that would keep Verlaine-san alive after Guivre's energy was all extinguished from Verlaine-san's body, six years ago. It was Randou-san's last 'birthday gift' he gave to Verlaine-san, about a year after his own death. Verlaine-san lost all the fight in him and just let himself be put in the basement. He's never really expressed a desire to leave since, so this was a big deal for him."
"I understand why he would do it, though," Fukuzawa murmured, also sitting down on the couch opposite Dazai while Ranpo sprawled himself over his fellow genius. The gossip trio plus their pseudo father figure were soon joined by the other detectives, who were all just as interested in this conversation and the things Dazai was willing to offer up about his past. "It is a special feeling to learn the name of your Ability. I've heard that, in special cases, it may even strengthen the effects."
Ranpo threw Dazai a look at that. "It's happening for Mr Fancy Hat's brother, isn't it." It wasn't exactly a question, despite being formulated as one.
Dazai also didn't acknowledge or answer it as one, either. "Verlaine-san might just be more vulnerable now than ever before. I think I may need to move things along much faster than I initially planned." He gently squirmed out from underneath Ranpo's attempt at a koala hold, taking out a touchscreen smartphone from his coat pocket that was way above the Agency's pay-grade. "If you'll excuse me, I have a few calls to make." As soon as he said that, he disappeared through the door, the dial tone reaching only Atsushi's enhanced hearing.
The other members of the Agency could only look after him, not sure what to make of Verlaine's visit or Dazai just now. Only Ranpo huffed as he spread out on the couch to take up all the space available, the petulant pout that had developed at his living pillow leaving transforming into an excited grin.
"I have a feeling this won't be the last time we receive such peculiar visitors."
Fukuzawa just sighed in resignation.
OWARI
A/N: Verlaine finally learns the name of his Ability: Tears Fall In My Heart. I chose it because it's heart wrenching (the poem is not always perfectly translated to English since it should, apparently, be 'It cries in my heart/ As it rains on the town') and could actually be applied to Rimlaine). Also IRL Rimbaud's quote "It rains softly on the town" is often referenced with this poem. Also also, the title is a bit depressing and since Chuuya's Ability was named after his most depressing sounding and overall themed poem, I chose a depressing one for Verlaine, too. It just fit the theme of our beloved gravity bros.
