ONE

The reason for Jote's visit to the workshop was quickly forgotten. The sound of stifled sniffles alerted Jote to the fact that something was terribly wrong. The sight that greeted her as she rounded the last few stairs confirmed the fear.

Midadol Telamon, the beloved daughter of the late Cid and engineer for the hideaway, was a far cry from her usual jovial self. Her posture, often strong, with her back held straight and proud, was slumped. But as she noticed she was no longer alone, likely after hearing the sound of Jote's shoes against the planks, she rushed to regain her usual appearance.

She scrubbed the tears away with the back of her hand, stood, and gave a watery smile.

"Jote. I didn't expect you."

She tried to look busy, arranging things on the large table before her.

"Mid, is something bothering you?" Jote asked, coming to the girl's side.

Mid was her junior by several years, and though Jote didn't know the girl well she felt endeared to her. It had already been a few months since Joshua bid Jote stay behind to look after the hideaway and Mid was one of the people she spoke to the most after Tarja. It was rare that the girl ever looked crestfallen about anything. Always brimming with positive energy, even when things didn't go her way, she had the tendency to shrug it off looking to learn from mistakes.

That's why seeing her in that state alarmed Jote so. Instinctively she knew this was more than just some engineering woe. Perhaps it was a matter of the heart.

Mid sniffed, shaking her head.

"No, it's nothing. Just- sometimes life comes at you fast, you know. And you try to take it as it comes but it knocks you down."

Mid began to ramble and Jote laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Mid," she said firmly, but not unkindly. "You don't have to pretend around me. We may not have known each other long, or know each other well, but we're all we've got."

Mid held Jote's gaze for a few seconds before she closed her eyes and sighed, seemingly bracing herself for the next words to come. She opened her eyes again, still glossy with unshed tears, but full of resolve.

"You're right but... Promise you won't tell," Mid said.

Jote nodded. It wasn't her secret to tell, whatever it was. And if it were wearing the girl down so much she'd confide in her then who was Jote to betray her.

"You have my word."

Mid gave another sigh and nothing could have prepared Jote for the next words.

"I'm pregnant."

Silence fell between them. But Mid began speaking well before the weight of it could truly settle upon Jote's shoulders.

"I know, I know," Mid said, shaking her head. She sniffed and pressed her fingers to her eyes willing the tears away. "It sounds crazy. I know. It does. And it does me no good to sit here and cry about it."

Jote flinched at the words. Mid was so young, yet she had to pretend to be so mature. So much rested on her work, even more so now in a world post-magic. But deep down she was still a young girl, and she was scared. Jote knew how that felt more than anyone in the world. She swallowed any words that may cast doubt upon the situation, afraid to frighten Mid from talking when she was at her most vulnerable.

"How long have you known?" she asked instead.

"Maybe about a week. I don't know. And I know at my age but... I just know-"

"I believe you," Jote said, perhaps a little too quickly. And if Mid had the time to be more perceptive, she'd notice that the other woman spoke from experience. "Have you seen Tarja?"

Mid shook her head, "No. I'm too afraid to. It makes it too final. Too real."

"You say you know but... you won't really know until-"

Well, that wasn't completely true. Even if Mid never went to Tarja time would eventually reveal all. But Jote knew it was best for everyone involved if they knew for sure. That was the only way to make their next steps.

Mid worried her lip, deep in thought, but the tears were no longer falling. The red color they brought to her cheeks had already begun to fade, though slowly.

"You're right. And... you're the first person I've told. I've been so afraid but you know it's a bit of a relief getting it out there. I've been wearing myself ragged all week thinking about it."

"It's a lot to keep to yourself," acknowledged Jote just as another thought occurred to her. "The father- so he doesn't-"

"He mustn't know!" Mid interjected, eyes growing wide, voice laced with something like fear. Realizing how she must sound she lowered her voice again. "I mean... not yet. Not until I've figured it all out."

She worried her lip again and Jote felt her heart sink for the girl's sake. So it was like that. Whether it was true or not, Mid felt alone. Jote couldn't in good faith leave her to feel like that. Without another thought, Jote pulled Mid into an embrace.

They'd never hugged before. Their relationship was full of polite pleasantries, but at that moment Jote felt so much kinship towards Mid. She had to hug her, had to let her know she wasn't alone and didn't have to be. She'd be there the entire journey, for however long that would be and wherever it would lead.

"It's ok. We can figure it out. We can get through this," Jote said, emphasizing the fact they'd do it together.

"Thank you, Jote. Truly."

Back in her own room, after holding Mid for a little longer, until she was sure the girl would be OK and not just say she was, Jote sat on the bed staring at the planks of the wall and contemplated her what-ifs. She had been 16, the same age Mid was now, staring down the same questions.

Joshua was by her side then, just as he was now. However, the rift that existed between them at the moment felt even larger than it had all those years ago. He'd pushed her away, placed her in the hideaway, and used his power to do so. He knew she wouldn't argue back, not fully. She'd argue for his sake, and do anything to protect him, but when it came to herself, she rarely did what was best.

She hated that about herself. She didn't feel like she was a subordinate to Joshua most of the time. But there were moments when she felt small and a little helpless as if she had no choice but to submit regardless of how she felt. Really, she just wanted him to be happy and she knew he didn't ask her anything that he thought would bring her harm. Rather it was quite the opposite. Joshua did it for her safety.

Was it the same with Mid and the father of her unborn child? He must be in the hideaway. Did Mid, just as Jote did, continue to smile by his side? Did he still look at her as if she held his very heart in her hands, as she suffered in silence?

Back then it was the same.

16, pregnant, and alone.

Joshua, unaware of the turmoil her body and mind endured continued to stride by her side. His smile remained ever radiant as she shielded him from her secret until it was no more.

What would Joshua do if he knew?

Jote wrapped her arms around her torso and for the first time in years, she cried for that unborn soul.

-to be continued-