Author's Note: This is just a crappy one-shot I thought up while binge-watching both Merlin and the Tiktok series Cafae Latte by C.M. Alongi. I doubt many will read this, but I still had to share for the sake of sharing. Those of you who do end up reading this, I hope you enjoy it. Pease consider leaving a review if you do, I'd love to hear your thoughts on it


Merlin walked the streets of a small town in West Virginia, taking in the beautiful sights. He'd come to the town for the fall and winter seasons. Something about small towns in America always made him feel better. Maybe it was how they reminded him of Camelot and Ealador, or it was the woods that surrounded them containing magical creatures of old. The locals mostly left the creatures alone, writing them off as myths or hallucinations. Despite the fact these people lived among fairies, gnomes, goblins, werewolves and many other magical humanoids they still could grasp the idea that animals like the griffon were real.

As he walked down Clock Street, he noticed a rather busy coffee shop that had a line out the door. He looked at his watch and figured it was getting close to tea time. Normally, he'd go back to his rented cabin and make his own brew, but something told him he needed to try this rather popular spot.

Despite the length, the line moved rather fast. He was a bit shocked by the speed of service everyone was receiving. As he got closer to the door, he managed to see the name of the place "Cafae Latte"

Fae as in fairies of the Fae Realm? Merlin thought to himself. He briefly considered turning around, not wanting to deal with fairies. He'd had enough trouble with over the years at Lake Avalon. They were always butting heads with him or stirring up trouble for the towns surrounding the lake. But if these fairies were serving humans, something was either very wrong or these fairies were different.

Before he knew it he was third in line and hadn't even looked at the menu yet. He was shocked to see food options as well as human workers. They looked happy and he didn't get the sense that they were enslaved. He could also see a dragon and goblin working as well. He couldn't see the fairies yet. Or maybe there weren't any and it was just a name.

"I said no mocha," a screech pierced through the air. "What part of that don't you understand."

"Ma'am, you're asking for a hellfire mocha iced latte," the young cashier said, sounding irritated. "I just suggested that it'd be easier and cheaper for you to order a plain iced latte with hellfire added in. It'll save you like two bucks. I am trying to help you here."

"No, you're trying to scam me out of my money," the customer insisted. "I know how you young people think. I'm not fucking stupid."

Merlin looked at the young cashier with sympathy. He knew all to well what it was like to deal with people lacking proper critical thinking skills. Just as he was considering stepping in to help, he felt a powerful presence emerge. He watched as a middle-aged woman walked out of what he presumed was her office and over to the cashier. She was clearly a fairy. Possibly one from a royal clan, if he was reading her aura correctly.

"What seems to be the problem?" the woman asked.

"He trying to-" the customer began to shout.

The fairy held up her finger and glared at the customer. "You will be silent until I say otherwise. I was talking to them". She lowered her finger and looked back at her cashier. "What's going on Jennifer Charles."

"She asked for a hellfire mocha iced latte without the mocha," Jennifer Charles explained. "I simply suggest a regular iced latte with hellfire as an add-on to try and help her save money. She just went off saying I was scamming her."

The fairy rolled her eyes and looked back at the customer. "You can speak now, but if I hear one more unkind word about my cashier, I will curse you."

"You can't curse me the customer is always right," the customer spat. "It's quite obvious he's trying to scam me out of my hard-earned money so that he can pocket the change for himself."

"My cashier uses they/them pronouns, and says so on their nametag, yet you purposely misgendered them and insulted them, again. After I warned you," the fairy stated as she stared at the customer with a look that could see your soul and weigh its worthiness. "You are hereby cursed with silence and the inability to order from eat from any restaurant for the next seven years or until you learn to respect service workers and use people's proper pronouns."

The customer opened her mouth to try and yell some more, but no sound came out. Quickly after realizing she could no longer speak, she ran out of the cafe red in the face.

"Sorry about that folks," the fairy announced, before heading back to her office.

The remaining people in front of Merlin ordered their drinks and treats with no fuss. In no time at all it was his his turn.

"Hi, welcome to Cafae Latte," Jennifer Charles greeted. "Can I interest you in today's special, the Archane Rush? It's a Red Bull of your choice, and Eldtrich blood run through the coffee machine with our darkest roast. Guaranteed to keep you up for a week. It comes with a free dose of pixie dust to help you sleep once it wears off."

Merlin pondered this for a moment. He sure could have used something like this to help during his travels over the centuries. "No thanks. I think I'll just take a small black tea and a chocolate scone."

"Ooh British," Jennifer Charles commented as they punched in the order. "We don't get many people from your neck of the woods. That'll be five dollars."

Merlin just smiled and handed the young cashier a five-dollar bill. "Is there any chance I could talk to that boss of yours?"

"Yeah, sure," Jennifer Charles said, with a worried look. "Everything okay?"

Merlin mentally scolded himself for how he worded his question. "Everything's fine. Nothing about you. She just looks familiar and I wanted to ask her some questions."

Jennifer Charles seemed to physically relax as they yelled out, "Hey Bob, someone wants to talk to you. You got a minute?"

Bob? Merlin thought. Strange name for a fairy to have, even if it was an alias.

"I'll be right there," Bob shouted back.

Merlin stepped to the side and waited for his order and the fairy.

"Black tea and a chocolate scone," the dragon worker called out.

"Right here," Merlin replied, stepping over to grab it off the counter. Just as he was picking it up, the fairy, Bob reemerged from her office, looking less than pleased that she had to be called out again. Either she was buried in paperwork, or she was one of those lazy managers/owners who didn't really do much outside of making schedules and paying the employees. He decided it was paperwork because no lazy boss would stick up or curse someone for the sake of their cashier, let alone use their proper pronouns.

He watched as pointed to him and gave Bob a quick rundown of what he wanted. Bob stepped out from behind the counter and walked over to him.

"How can I help you sir?" Bob asked.

"I just got a couple of questions," Merlin answered. "But I think they'd be easier to answer if you knew who were talking to." He held out his free hand. "I'm Merlin, but I think your people know me better as Emrys."

Bob wordlessly shook his hand, mouth wide enough that a small creature could climb in. Merlin smirked at her reaction. It wasn't often that he got to use either of his real names anymore, so when the opportunity presented itself, he made sure to enjoy the expressions he got

"Y-you can't be here," Bob finally managed. "You died over 1500 years ago by Earth terms. How are you here."

Merlin took his hand back and shrugged. "Same as you. Immortality. However, mine has some stipulations."

Bob looked around the cafe. "Let's find a quiet place to sit down. We seem to have quite a bit to discuss."

Once Merlin and Bob were situated in a quiet corner of the cafe all of Bob's questions came out. "How are you immortal? I was led to believe you died because of your failure to save Arthur. Why are you here in my cafe? In America? Shouldn't you be in Wales? If you are Emrys shouldn't you look older? I was told you were an old man when you knew Arthur."

Merlin just chuckled. "I can look old if I want to, but I like staying young. I only play the old bit when the need arises. As for the immortal thing, magic, more or less. My magic keeps me alive and healthy, more or less. But the gods decided to punish me for my failure to fulfil mine and Arthur's destiny, so they made sure, no matter what I would live forever or at least until Arthur comes back. Nothing can kill me. I can wounded and have to deal with the pain of it, but I will eventually heal and continue living. Also, I'm just visiting, I enjoy small American towns during the fall and winter seasons. Something about it just seems magical to me."

Bob took the answers to her questions in stride, accepting them as truth for now. She couldn't curse or do anything to compel the warlock to tell her the truth. She just had to hope he was speaking it.

"Why did you want to talk to me?" Bob asked she felt like a little kid standing before her grandfather, the king of the Fae Realm. "I haven't done anything to make you mad, have I?"

The warlock shook his head. "Not that I'm aware of. Unless those human workers are slaves?"

"No, they work here of their own free will," Bob ensured. "They get paid above the minimum wage, plus a ton of benefits like insurance and PTO."

"Good," Merlin said, sipping his tea, delighted at how it tasted better than anything he could ever make. "I get the feeling you part of the royal Fae family. One of the princesses perhaps?"

"Second generation princess. At least I was until I was exiled back in the 1840s by Earth terms," Bob answered. "I no longer hold any of the titles I once did. Though some people still use them."

Merlin thought for a second doing the math in his head. "So that means you were there when your grandfather tried to kill Arthur, twice."

"Yes and no," Bob said. "I was around back then, but I was a youngling fairy. Didn't even have my wings yet. But the fairies you dealt with were Avalonian fairies. My grandfather didn't rule over that part of the realm. He was and still is ruling over the realm by Ireland. We preferred enslavement and magic, whereas they preferred power and possession. Instead of using wooden changelings like we used to use. They would enter an unknowing host as a baby and basically use that person's body as a means to get what they wanted. Once I was old enough to understand and get out from under the thumb of all that toxicity that comes with being a fairy, I did what I could to put a stop to it. My efforts more or less paid off. Changeling and possession are very rare given that very few people hold the kind of power or wealth a fairy wants. The same goes for magic. It's become a finite resource. Sure it's all around us and anyone can master it with enough practice, but no one is or ever will be as powerful as those of us who were born at a time when it was everywhere and feared."

Merlin thought he knew it all. He'd never once considered that the Fae had different rulers for different parts of their realm. He found them to be such a thorn in his side, that he never bothered. He just waged war against them trying to keep himself and those under his protection safe.

"Well, I apologize for the accusation," Merlin said. "Despite being almost 1500 years old, I'm still learning. I assumed fairies had just a singular ruling family that controlled everything within the Fae Realm."

"No need to apologize," Bob brushed off. "At one point I think there was just one ruling family, but around the time humans began evolving and creating their own power structures, the fae decided it was best to split the duties of the ruling class and give the top-ranking royals their own lands to reside over. At least that's what my grandfather told me when I was growing up."

Merlin studied the fairy before him. She was familiar to him and the longer they spoke, the more he was sure of her identity. He might not have known how Fae royalty worked, but he did know her. He knew names had power especially when it came to fairies. He wasn't worried about her knowing his name, she couldn't do anything with it. She might have power, but he had more than her. However, if he was right about who she was, then he knew her real name or at least an approximation of it

He knew that he could bend her to his will to get him to reveal whatever information she might have about how he could invade the Fae Realm and put an end to Avalonian fairies. He also had a sneaking suspicion that she knew something about Arthur's return. She might be exiled, but her knowledge would still hold relevant to his current predicament. However, he wasn't going to do that. He'd got over his dark period centuries ago. The 1600s had been very cathartic for him as he unleashed all his pent-up rage on humanity as a whole.

Besides she seemed happy right where she was. She was doing good by his standards. She only cursed those who deserved it, her employees seemed happy and in good health. Not to mention this was a safe space for the minorities in the town.

"Aside from the lesson in Fae royalty was there anything else you wanted to know?" Bob asked.

Merlin shook his head. "Not really, but if you don't mind I'd like to come back for another chat. It's not every day I get to talk to someone with similar life experiences to mine. Well, there's Leon, but it gets boring when you already know everything there is to know about a person."

Bob smiled. "I'd like that. Maybe my ward can join in some time as well. He's seen many of the same things as me and could offer a different perspective."

"Sounds great," Merlin agreed.

From then on, Merlin made it a point to visit that small cafe on Clock Street every fall and winter. He and Bob would swap stories about the wars, and dealing with fairies and other magical beings. He would talk about Arthur and Camelot. While she talked about members of her family who shared similar views as her but stayed behind to try and change the old ways.

They developed a friendship that would last a millennium.


Author's Note: Thanks again to anyone that read this. And yes I adhere to the headcanon that Leon is immortal right alongside Merlin.

I apologize if the characters came off a bit OOC, I did the best that I could. However, in my defence, Merlin probably acts and talks completely differently than he did in the 6th century. His speech is bound to be more modernized. He has to at least pretend he belongs in the 21st century, right?