Jo barely listened to her mother-in-law's words as Helen spoke to comfort her. Yet nothing Helen said reassured her. All Jo could think about was Alex as she tried to figure out where he was. Helen said she hadn't seen Alex for weeks and thought that he had gone home to her after helping to fix the roof.
"Oh I'm sorry dear I'm rambling again," Helen said as she paused, and Jo came back to the conversation when the silence ran on.
"It's just been a long day," Jo said, letting out a breath and wishing she could let out all of her worries with it but they stuck inside her stomach like she swallowed a bottle of glue.
"But I'm sure Alex has a good reason for being away and perhaps his phone just isn't working," Helen said, trying to stay cheerful in her explanation.
"Yeah, thanks," Jo said, although she barely heard what Helen had said.
"Well, I'll let you go, dear and I'll call Alex and tell him to talk to his wife," Helen said as if a scolding from his mother could make Alex reappear in her life.
"Thank you, Helen," Jo said as she tried to think of anything else to say but the words evaded her.
"Well I hope you do call again soon, I love you," Helen said, sincere in a way that a mother would be.
"Yeah, love you too, bye," Jo said as she quickly hung up the phone.
She stared at the screen again. It was a picture of her and Alex and she quickly pulled up his number again, but she hovered her finger over the call button. There was a list of calls going to Alex and she was sure his voicemail was full by now, yet she still felt the urge to leave him one more message.
Jo stared at the other thing sitting in front of her, the ultrasound photo she had gotten that evening from Carina. She had insisted upon it and all but forced Jo into her office to at least take a pregnancy test. Jo e has suspected she was pregnant but hadn't taken a test as she was more worried about her husband. There was something about seeing her baby that made everything so real and terrifying. Without Alex, this was all the more complicated and she couldn't do this without him. She didn't want to. Yet here she was, faced with that possibility.
Jo let out a breath again, this one shaky and nearly filled with tears but she had none left to cry as there was no water left in her eyes. So she just stared at the ultrasound and her phone, waiting for the universe to send her a sign. Suddenly there was the sound of someone stomping the snow off their feet and coming up the stairs. Jo leaped up, there it was, there was Alex, he was home. She ran to answer the door, pulling it open with hopefulness in her heart, however, it quickly disappeared when she saw Link.
His black jacket was covered in snow and he was holding a bag and a box of donuts. His mood was as depressing as hers was. He frowned and came into the loft without waiting for her to invite him in.
"Misery loves company, so I brought donuts and despair," Link said as he passed her without a second glance and he went over to the kitchen.
Jo looked back at him as her mind swirled. Where was Alex? Why wasn't that him at the door? What would happen to her without him? The disappointment nearly drowned her like a wave. Link put the donuts down on the kitchen counter and finally noticed her still standing in the entryway.
"Jo ?"
"I, I thought you were him," Jo said, and she didn't need to say who for Link to know she was talking about Alex.
Link sighed and looked over at her with a frown. "I'm sorry."
"He left me," Jo said looking around at his empty place in the loft, believing he was gone.
"No, he didn't," Link said, quickly reassuring her like everybody had done the past few days.
They all told her over and over again that Alex wouldn't leave her, that he wasn't like that. Everybody from Meredith to Link to Owen and Jackson has said the same thing. But Jo wasn't sure of their reassurance, and she truly didn't believe it now.
"I think he did, I think he woke up one day and felt the need to escape his life… and me. I called his mom," Jo said, finally looking at Link for the first time and taking a step toward him. "He wasn't there. He hasn't been there in weeks. And I'm, I'm pregnant. And I can't do this without him. He left me… pregnant... And now I can't, I can't breathe."
Jo gasped for breath, struggling to take in air as she broke down again. She started to cry, letting herself fall apart as she dissolved into tears. Link rushed over and hugged her, sweeping her into his arms and stopping her from falling to her knees as he held her. She cried, and cried, and cried. That's all she could do because Alex was gone and she was pregnant. All she wanted was her husband, but she didn't have him. She knew the baby in her belly needed her, but Jo couldn't do this without him. She was so scared and she couldn't breathe.
Somehow Link carried her to bed and wrapped his arms around her as she cried. The tears took the rest of her energy as she cried herself to sleep, knowing that tomorrow wouldn't be any better.
"I missed you."
The words drifted into Jo's sleep and gently woke her. She felt warmth against her cheek as a pair of lips kissed her.
"Alex," Jo whispered, opening her eyes to see his brown eyes as his lips gave her a gentle smile.
"I love you," Alex said, kissing her again, this time on her lips as Jo closed her eyes and kissed him back sleepily
"Go back to sleep," Alex said, pulling back and kissing her cheek again. "I'm going to sleep on the couch but I'll be here when you wake up."
"Okay," Jo mumbled, closing her eyes again, already half asleep surrounded by his warmth.
She fell asleep again all too quickly and dreamed of Alex and their baby playing in the loft. Their baby laughed and played with cars on the rug. Jo laughed too as she sat in Alex's lap as he held her from behind, his warm arms around her. She woke up with the same warmth surrounding her and she smiled, feeling Alex's arms around her waist.
As she rolled over and buried her nose into his chest, she took a deep breath in, however, she didn't smell Alex. She opened her eyes and realized that it was Link curled up against her and snoring rather loudly. The smell of his cologne burned her sinuses and made her nauseous as she wrinkled her nose and rolled away.
'Where's Alex?' Jo thought as she blinked and looked around. He should be here, she thought as she got up, sitting up and looking around. But it was just the two of them and no one else was there. Jo threw off the covers and got up, quickly walking in a circle around the loft as she looked everywhere for Alex.
However, there wasn't even evidence that he'd been there. The couch was the same with the blankets and pillows as she had been sleeping there the past couple of nights. She went to the entryway and looked for his shoes, his bag, his coat, anything, but none of it was there. Jo went to the bathroom only to see his toothbrush was there, untouched in the cup. Even the shower was dry and only her towels hung on the rack. She checked the laundry hamper only to find the same emptiness.
"Alex, where are you?" Jo called out to him as she came back out to the empty loft.
She ducked into the kitchen to see but there was nothing other than her mac and cheese plates in the sink. Jo nearly cried as she looked around desperate to find him.
"What's going on Jo?" Link asked with a yawn as he stretched. "Alex's not here? What are you doing?"
"He was here!" Jo insisted, going over to him. "I remember waking up in the middle of the night and he kissed me and he was home. He was home."
Link looked around seeing the same empty loft that she did. "Jo, you must have dreamed about him."
"No, it was real," Jo begged herself to believe it.
Jo pulled out her phone and looked at her last text messages from him. The last one was just the text message she had sent him of the picture of the pregnancy test. There was nothing, not even a reply. She quickly texted Meredith to see if she had heard from him. Surely she would have heard from Alex if he was back. Meredith texted back quickly that she hadn't heard from him either. Jo was devastated and she sank down onto the couch. She held her phone as she stared out into nothing.
"I'm sorry, Jo," Link said as he sat down next to her putting an arm around her shoulders.
"Yeah," Jo nodded, not really hearing him as she put her phone away and curled up, pulling up her legs and leaning back against the couch.
"Why don't I get us breakfast?" Link said, getting up before she responded, although she didn't stop them either.
Jo just sat on the couch and turned on the TV so there was something to do, something to listen to other than the emptiness in her heart. Soon enough she heard the coffee maker starting up and she knew Link was turned on a pan and she heard him rumbling around in the kitchen. He was the only one who could actually cook.
But then, the loft door opened.
Link looked up in surprise and Jo turned around to see the door slide open as Alex walked in. She was so stunned she just sat there and stared at him.
"Hey," Alex said, greeting her with a smile before he looked over at Link. "Oh sorry, I was trying to surprise you."
Alex held up the coffee tray and a bag from their favorite breakfast place. The loft was completely silent as Jo and Link just stared at him. Neither of them believed that he was standing there in front of him. Alex looked around at the both of them confused as to why his appearance was such a shock.
"I guess I should have left a note or something." He barely got that last word out before Jo was flinging herself into his arms as she started crying in relief. She was pretty sure some of the coffee splashed on her, but she doesn't care. "I take it you really missed me."
"I thought you left me," Jo said as she held onto him, afraid he'd slip through her fingers again. "You didn't respond to my texts or calls, I haven't heard from you in days and I thought you left!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Alex said as he struggled to put down the coffee on the side table before he wrapped both of his arms around her as she held him close.
"I'm pregnant," Jo whispered to him.
"I know," Alex said, a little smile appearing across his lips as he kissed her forehead. "As soon as I saw your text I hopped on a plane and came home, I'm sorry. Everything in Iowa has been so much to deal with, but I can sort it out later. You need me more now."
"Where's your bag and everything? I looked around for your stuff and nothing was there?" Jo said as she settled in his arms and relief filled her.
"I left my bag in my car last night, I was so tired and I just wanted to see you," Alex said, as he pulled back and held her face with one hand looking at her with deep adoration.
Jo just nodded as she cried and Alex brushed away her tears with his thumb. She leaned in and kissed him again. Alex eagerly greeted her as she melted into him, feeling like she had her home back.
"You stop returning my calls, asshole. Don't you can't ever do that again!" Jo said, pulling back as she hit his chest.
"I won't, I promise," Alex said, sincere with his words as he looked deep into her eyes.
"And you are never going anywhere without me," Jo said, tears still filling her eyes.
"That's fine by me," Alex said, leaning in and kissing her again.
"I'm just going to let you two be," Link said, grabbing a coffee and peeking in the bag and pulling out a donut before he left.
Jo and Alex barely acknowledged him and their kiss got heated as they reunited. Alex trailed his hands down her waist as Jo tangled her hands in his hair. However, Alex's destination was not her hips as his fingers ghosted across her stomach before he pulled back. He put his hands over his bump, feeling the outline of it in his hands.
"Oh my God, Jo ," Alex said with wide eyes looking up at her. "When you said you were pregnant, I didn't think you were this far along. If I had known I never would have…"
He trailed off as Jo leaned in and kissed him again before she leaned her forehead against his. "It's okay, I didn't know until last night. You're here now and that's what matters."
Alex nodded, leaned in and quickly kissed her again as he held her bump. "You've got to be at least 12 weeks along by now."
"What no," Jo said, shaking her head as she looked down at her stomach. "There's no way. I just found out yesterday it must be your big headed baby making its appearance."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that. Wasn't your last period like 3 months ago?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow at her with a sneaky little smile.
"No, it was…" Jo trailed off as she tried to remember and quickly did the math in her head as her eyes went wide. "7 weeks ago."
"So you're at least 9 weeks along," Alex said with a little smile.
"I guess so," Jo said a little in awe as she looked down at her bump.
Alex got down on his knees, pulling up her shirt as he revealed her skin to his eyes. Then he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her belly. Jo smiled as she ran her fingers through his hair. He looked up at her with so much love in his eyes. He would continue to stare at her that way and kiss her bump as it grew bigger, until their baby was born. And true to her word, she never let him travel without her again.
