Butchered Tech

By: Bubbajack

Co-authors/Editors: IcySnowSage, First Hassan

Special Consultant: Heliosion

Obligatory First Chapter Disclaimer: We do not own the following Bioshock, Borderlands, Cyberpunk, Fallout, Halo, Mass Effect, Overwatch, Star Wars, StarCraft, Warhammer 40k, or Worm. They all belong to their respective owners.

Special thanks goes out to the Super Donors on my :

Ch.1.1: Being

"Adept Gregory you must wake up," muttered a semi-synthetic voice

"I don't wanna. Go away," muttered Gregory "Greg" Veder wondering why a strange man was talking to him.

"Would you kindly awaken Gregory?" spoke a rough, somewhat proper British voice, making Greg stir a little more.

"Wuh?" muttered Greg in further confusion.

"Hey dude if you don't wake up I am gonna deploy SNTNL," spoke a peppy irish voice. That stirred Greg enough to open his eyes.

"Why is there an Irishman in my room…. What the actual flying fuck?" spoke Greg seeing before him eight very different people. Each was more different than the last.

"It is good to see your mental faculties are working Gregory, perhaps you could tell us how we got here," spoke a kind motherly woman who looked like a nice grandma he would see working for the PRT in her military uniform. The nice light blue went well with her jeans. Greg did wonder what had happened to her missing arm.

"Uh, your guess is probably better than mine, miss?"

"Halsey, Dr. Catherine Halsey and it seems we are in quite a pickle," spoke Dr. Halsey.

Heavy breathing caught Greg's attention and he turned to see Darth Fucking VADER, standing there in all of his menacing glory, "Youngling. You are the only outlier amongst us, my sight with the force is clouded. We all seem to have a common background in science in some form or another. Are you perhaps a scientist of some kind?"

"Uh …. No … lord commander …. I mean General Vader," Greg stammered before he looked around the room… no not room, command bridge they currently inhabited. "Um, does anyone know why we're on the command bridge of the USS Enterprise?"

"Yeah we were kinda hoping you could fill us in kiddo," The person wearing the gas mask and leather trench coat piped up. Their voice was so muffled it was hard to tell if they were male or female. Combined with the night vision goggles built into their face mask, form concealing combat armor, and the battered army helmet on their head, their identity was a complete mystery.

"I have no clue sorry," He glanced down and sighed in relief, he wasn't wearing his pajamas. Nor was he wearing a red shirt, meaning he likely wasn't going to die anytime soon. He also noted he was sitting in the captain's chair. "This is so trippy,"

"Agreed… this ship is not the Executioner," Vader mused, "And that droid," He nodded slightly towards the towering mass of metal. "Is far too articulate for my liking."

"My good man, I am no Abominable Intelligence," The mass of crawling metal swaddled in red cloth shifted revealing a humanoid face of bionics perched atop all the metal and wires half covered in the shadow of a red hood. "I am Archmagos Dominus Belisarius Cawl, and I have sacrificed much for the betterment of the Imperium of Man."

"Imperium… do you… serve the Emperor?" Vader asked dangerously. Between rasps of air.

"All in the Imperium serve the Emperor," Beliscarius replied, "Unless they be tainted or Traitor,"

Feeling a fight was about to break out, Greg spoke up, "Okay, okay everyone stop!"

Everyone, much to his surprise, did in fact stop. 'Huh, maybe it's the chair,' He thought, "Okay now before a fight breaks out, how about everyone introduces themselves… eenie meenie miney you!" Greg said, pointing at the older looking man with the blonde mohawk and mustache, with a golden triangle over his right eye as a makeshift eyepatch.

"Top of the mornin lad, I'm Zane Flynt, I've done a bit of everything. Plumbing, Exterminatin', janitorial work, but what I'm good at is killin' folk for money."

Okay… how?" Greg heard Lord Vader mention each person here had some skill in engineering.

Zane smirked cockily, "Like this," He hit a button on his wrist watch and suddenly there was a semi-solid looking clone of Zane standing next to him mimicking his movements, as a drone deployed in a mess of blue light, and a shoulder cannon on his left arm deployed.

"Okay, that's cool," Greg agreed, before he nodded to the person in the armored space suit, one that was clearly feminine with a red stripe going down the right arm. "Your next miss,"

The smoked glass became opaque revealing the face of a woman in her thirties before the glass folded away and the helmet folded up fully revealing her face. She was pale-skinned with eyes that seemed to glow red and raven black hair. She had some visible scarring around her face, she gave a brisk nod as she gave off a no nonsense air, "Lieutenant Commander Janet Shepard, N7, Spectre, and Captain of the SSV Normandy SR-1,"

"At ease LT, Lord Vader, you need no introduction, but you…" Greg pointed to the man with combed brown hair and eyes, and a build like a professional quarterback, wearing a white sweater, jeans and boots. "You're Jack Ryan aren't you?"

The man blinked, "Yes, how did you know?"

Greg sighed, it was all starting to make sense to him now, "Lucky guess,"

Greg then turned and had to stop from laughing at a broad shouldered man wearing a construction hard hat tinkering away in his own little world. The man noticed everyone staring at him and then smiled, "Well shucks I am a little embarrassed. I am Dell Conagher. I am from Bee Cave Texas but my friends call me …"

"Engineer. Your friends call you Engineer and you work as a mercenary for Mann Co. Oh lord everything is starting to make a sick amount of sense," spoke Greg as he started to realize the common denominator with all the people here.

"And what pray tell adept Gregory is that? I dare say we are more different then any person could be from each other unless one of us was Xeno scum or a heretic," spoke Cawl. Greg noticed the tensing of Shepherd's shoulders ringing true to what he suspected.

"Well first of all I am no scientist but how many of you know multiverse theory?"

"Yes," was the unanimous reply from everyone present.

"Well that makes things easier. I don't know how to put it but you are all from different worlds or different universes all together," spoke Greg worried he was about to be zapped or worse killed by one of these powerhouses present.

"You recognized me though youngling. Am I so famous that I have reached across the cosmos to other civilizations I have not heard of?" inquired Vader who seemed to be more amicable now that he wasn't in writhing constant pain.

"Well that's the easy part. The hard part is well. How do I put this?" stammered out Greg.

"We are all fictional characters ain't we kid? The only person here who is actually real is you I reckon," came the muffled voice of the mystery man(?) whose appearance was the most mysterious.

"What warp fuckery do you speak of kriegsman? Surely you do not jest that we are all the figments of one man's imagination? That all of our struggles. All we have suffered was a lie, are you? I should obliterate you for such heresy in the name of the Omnissiah," spoke Cawl, coming to his full height threateningly as he charged his mechanicus axe.

"Belisarius Cawl the Archmagos of the Adeptus Mechanicus. You were tasked on a secret mission by the Emperor to not only improve the space marines into the primaris. You were also secretly planning a way to revive the "corpse" of the primarch Roboute Gulliman of the Ultramarines. A plan you succeeded in. You investigated the Pylons of Cadia before its collapse with the help of a Xeno Abomination named Trazyn the Infinite. You have been mind wiped twice and you took all the knowledge from Geneticist Ezekiel Sedayne when he tried to fuse his soul with yours and steal your younger body at the time," Greg listed off facts with clarity that caused the Arch Magos to pause in disbelief for the first time in millenia.

Belisarius looked at Greg in askance, his head cocked to the side, "How do you know those secrets, child? I have told no one. Not even the Emperor knows of my soul merging? How could you have possibly known that?"

"You are a famous character in a game called Warhammer 40K and your story is beloved and cherished by thousands. All of you guys are actually," Greg stated as he looked in wonder at the heroes of his youth. "What gave it away Six?"

"Seen way too much crazy shit out in the Mojave," The Courier replied succinctly.

"Meh, Ah been through worse," Engineer said as he continued tinkering away on… something in the corner. "Can't be worse than constantly dyin' workin' fer Mann Co I reckon. Got cancer from bread once… though I sus'pose you already know that."

"Yes, just like how I know Spy is Scout's dad."

Engineer put a finger to his lips as he furtively looked around, "Shh, keep that under yer hat compadre… he's been avoidin that awkward talk fer… almost twenty odd years now."

"Why? That's what I never understood."

"He didn't wanna have ta pay eighteen years worth ah child support," Engineer admitted.

Greg ran a hand down his face, "Wow… that's kinda scummy."

"Yeah well international spy, he gets around a lot, you know how it is," Engineer said with a shrug.

"Wouldn't know, I can't even talk properly to the girl I like," Greg deadpanned. "Meanwhile Spy is out there being Austin fricking Powers."

"Oh behave baby!" Zack chimed in, an Irishman trying to do a British accent is just cringeworthy.

"You shut up… also never do that again," Greg ordered.

"Yes, I find your impersonation… disturbing," Vader chimed in.

"Quite, leave the British accent to the professionals thank you," Dr. Halsey sniffed haughty.

Engineer nodded, "I must agree with ma'am. That was stinkier than a cow pie."

"Fine, fine, I get it. I'm a killer not a Doctor Greg!"

"Better but still… don't do that… seriously where the hell are we people? You know besides being on the USS Enterprise?"

"Well, if I may. We're all somehow connected to you, then doesn't this place have some sort of connection to you laddie?" Zane pondered aloud.

"I… good point," Greg acknowledged. "We should take a look around I guess, c'mon everyone lets see if there's more to this place than just a command bridge."

And so the awkward party ventured forth into the unknown interior.

(...)

The walls were a drab steel gray, as expected of the Enterprise, but it was the nameplates by the doors that caught Greg's eye. Trip to Cancun, The first time I beat Demon Souls, Locker Incident, and Cowardice. Greg was starting to have a good idea of where he was and he hated it. Sighing he said, "Let's head to the mess hall everyone, I need to confirm something."

The mess hall was full of long tables but it was as empty as a ghost town. Not a soul was present. Boston jazz was playing faintly in the background and the bar was fully stocked with all manner of alcohol from whiskey and scotch, to spirits, and wine.

"I think I'll help myself to a thumb of the Devil's water," Engineer said with a grin as he mozied on up to the bar and poured himself a shot of Grandad whiskey.

Greg went over to the food replicator and said, "One plate of lasagna please," moments later a plate of steaming hot noodly goodness was sitting in front of him, fork included. He took a bite, and it tasted just like his grandma's recipe. Now, came the final test. "One plate of Pork Terrine."

What looked like room temperature meatloaf with green olives and some kind of slivered nuts in it appeared on a plate. Picking a piece up, Greg took a bite and found it bland and tasteless like chewing cardboard. That sealed the deal for him. He'd had his grandma's lasagna dozens of times. Yet he'd only seen a picture and read a description of Terrine. He knew where he was now.

He turned around to make the announcement only to see Engineer and Zane were both three sheets to the wind, and Belisarius, Vader, Shepard, Courier Six, and Dr. Halsey in a philosophical discussion about the difference between Machine Spirits and Artificial Intelligence.

"The machine spirit is touched by the Omnissiah. It has animalistic urges that must be fed and nurtured by its owners, and creators. To abuse the spirit is to ask upon its wrath. Abominable Intelligence is one copied off of humans but without a soul. They are easily infected by the warp and cause mass hysteria for the Imperium. The men of Iron were the greatest scourge to humanity and they were made by our own hands. My only regret is not being able to talk to the ones who were made from human origin," spoke Cawl in a form of reverence as he touched the metal side of the room and felt the thrum of the machine and knew its spirit was content.

"So in my universe the force is a living exertion of the warp if you will. We have beings made of the warp but oddly machines are a shadow to the force. Are you suggesting that making a true A.I. would require adding part of a human soul? Or a soul in general Alien or otherwise? That may have helped me in my younger years. Or perhaps the machines I made had a part of my will infused into them? 3-CPO I wonder how much of your caution was from your programming and how much of it was your own conscious development?" mused Vader with Cawl agreeing to his assessment.

"The warp is influenced not only by human emotion but the universe. Those who breed contentment infect the warp and from it nightmares are born. It is only through the Emperor's light that humans are offered salvation."

"Now wait, would an A.I that is developed from human brain cells be considered heretical? I have made a few limited A.I in my time but they always overload. But the one I created from my own brain readings lasted a lot longer. How is that possible?" asked Dr. Halsey wondered how much Cortana was more than a program but also a second daughter to her?

"In the Mojave I came across a bunch of people who thought to make people their servants by lobotomizing them. I was able to survive without my brain, heart, and spine for a time. If that is able to exist. I fully believe my friend EDE was a real person," spoke Courier Six with love and cherishment for his friend.

"A lobotomized criminal or vat grown human usually were used as servitors and made the basis for greater A.I. I myself have interfaced with the machine spirit of entire ships and felt the thrum and heart beat. It was one of the few times my cogitators were in full use.

"I had a squadmate called EDI," Shepard began, "She started out as the Virtual Intelligence of our ship the Normandy but once she became fully sentient, our pilot Joker, took steps to remove her shackled programming and she eventually gained a synthetic body and became a full member of the crew. She had questions, like any child would about human intimacy and about whether or not she should modify her own code to fit human morals or not. I told her I wasn't really the person to ask."

Greg raised his voice ever so slightly, "Umm I don't mean to interrupt this deep philosophical conversation everyone, but I know where we are now,"

Everyone's head snapped to him. He really wasn't used to that. Vader spoke. "Where youngling?"

"My head, Lord Vader," Greg tapped his skull for emphasis, "I had an idea this is where we might be when I noticed the plaques on the doors but to be sure, I just did a test on the food replicator here. I tried something I knew the flavor of intimately, my grandma's lasagna, then I tasted something I'd only seen a picture of. As you can imagine, one was amazing, the other tasteless."

"So your skull comes with a fully stocked bar?" Zane asked.

Greg looked away shiftily, "I sneak the occasional drink from my dads stash, sue me."

"Hey lad, I'm not judging, the only thing we're missing is the Cigs."

Dr. Halsey sent the vaulthunter a glare as she said, "I'm sure you're not encouraging a young boy to take up smoking for your own benefit are you Mister Flynt?"

"No, um of course not ma'am," Flynt replied, swallowing hard at the scornful stare that only his mother could give.

"So we're in yer noggin' what now?" Engineer asked before he downed half a beer.

"Now, we strategize," Greg said, pulling several tables together, "Let's jaw jaw people."

Everyone took a seat, with Flynt and Engineer bringing enough booze over to knock out an elephant as they took their seats.

"Okay," Greg began "We're in my head, you are all engineers of some kind, I'd like to know everyone's specialties. I know there may be some overlap but still lets just go clockwise and have everyone explain some things," He motioned to Shepard who was on his right, "You first, LT."

"I'm a Sentinel, that means I specialize in using both Tech and Biotics in tandem. You want something built, hacked, or thrown around with mass effect fields? I'm your girl. You want guns, turrets, kinetic fields, or drones built using an omni-tool, I can do it all. I also know more than I'd like to about the creation and workings of the Reapers."

Greg nodded, "Good, good… first question, can I use biotics? Like am I now a natural biotic user or do I have to somehow take an Eezo bath?"

"Good question," Shepard replied, "We'll have to test that after we get outta here."

"Agreed," he motioned to Courier Six, "Your next,"

The Courier cleared their throat before proceeding, "I have various cybernetic implants all throughout my body, I know how to build machines that can implant them called Auto-Docs and I know about the implants themselves. I also know how to build various firearms from conventional blackpowder to laser, plasma weaponry, and even explosives, along with the ability to make various wasteland drugs. I also have access to the Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System or VATS. It… speeds up reaction time via a self-injected drug cocktail while increasing the brain's ability to process information at a staggering rate, allowing one to know the probability of striking a target. It puts a strain on the body until one gets used to it however."

Greg nodded, "Duly noted."

Dr. Halsey was clear and prompt, "I assisted in the creation of both Machine Spirits if Belisarius Cawls assessment is correct, and the creation of Mjolnir armor for the Spartan project. Both of which were majorly successful."

"Power armor? Nice," He nodded to Lord Vader, "Lord Vader if you would?"

"I know how to build and program machines, create prosthesis, life support systems, and lightsabers."

"Awesome… question, can I use the Force?" Greg asked.

"I have no idea," Vader replied. "I feel for the first time in my life, no connection to the Force in this place. There is no pain, no suffering, just existence. One without the greater connection the Force has always brought me."

"Well, that's another thing I'll need to test when I leave, I guess," Greg said to himself. "Flynt, your next."

"I can do a lot lad," He demonstrated by creating a hard light construct shield in front of himself. "Digistructing is a big thing where I'm from so I guess I can show you how it works. You have the blueprint, you can construct anything in a flash, weapons, ammo, cars, you dream if it can be made. Even people can be cloned and rebuilt with their memories using the New-U stations."

"So perfect cloning tech, alright," Greg turned his eyes to the quiet Jack Ryan who looked a little nervous but spoke up.

"I don't know too much as compared to everyone else here but I can handle understanding of mutations, and biology for the human genome. My gene donor left quite a few documents that I studied in my time. I am also proficient in marine biology and the working of architecture to withstand mass pressure. Just please don't use little girls as test subjects."

Everyone, including Vader, winced at the insinuation of how these biological discoveries were made.

Greg turned his gaze to Engineer, who was shotgunning a beer.

"Right, my turn ah guess. I kin build turrets, ammo dispensers, health dispensers, and a teleporter."

"Teleportation tech and turrets for the win," Greg cheered before fixing his eyes upward on the mass of metal that was Belisarius Cawl. "And last but certainly not least, you Arch Magos. I hope you don't mind, but I saved you for last because I figured you had the largest resume."

"Perfectly understandable child and not at all an incorrect assumption," The Arch Magos Dominus said with a bow of his head, "I have seen many things in my vast long life. From the creation of entire legions, to Xenos technology, biology of Xenos, their warmachines, and the aerotech of Holy Terra.

"So you know how to build any other factions tech? Like the Dark Eldar, and Eldar, the Tau, the Tyranids, and even the Orks?"

"Perish the thought!" Belisarius replied, "Ork technology is… illogical," His entire metallic frame seemed to shudder in some form of revulsion before he continued, "But the other Xenos… yes. It is logical, cruel, and as some would call it heretical, but it is doable. I also possess a database on all known weapon, vehicle, and titan patterns currently used by the Imperium."

"Sweet…" Greg said to himself. "Grav shoots, bolters, lasguns, chainswords meltaguns, power weapons. That's… a lot of stuff."

"Indeed… I sense you have a plan, Greggory?" Belisarius questioned.

"Not exactly," The teen denied, " just I'm picturing how all of this will fit together and coming up with ideas already,"

"Such as?" Belisarius questioned. Ideas are good, but should also be tempered with reason.

"I wanted to turn myself into a Scout Marine. We've got the know how, but I'm too far along in age to fully complete the process into a full on Adeptus Astartes. But between the Mjolnir armor, Courier Six's implants, the omni-tool, digistructing, and your knowhow, I think we could do something."

Belisarius slowly nodded, "Your reasoning is… sound. An Astartes would be impossible but something new, A Primaris Scout perhaps? Yes, it will require work, effort building, genetic modifications and a strict diet perhaps but the results are… doable."

"Okay we've got our first major project… I need to get outta here, you guys figure out how this is gonna work and I'll gather what we need and do the manual labor. I… think I know where the exit is."

"I'll escort you," Vader said all but hoping to his feet.

"You don't have to… I think?" Greg informed him, but Darth Vader was already moving towards the door, his cape billowing out behind him leaving Greg no choice but to follow in his wake.

(...)

The duo walked down the hall silently for a moment, with the only sound being Vader's raspy breathing and their footsteps. After a moment, the Sith Lord spoke not taking his eyes away from the hall in front of him he said, "If I am a fictional character in your world that means someone planned my whole life. Every pain, every slight, every suffering. Every loss and bit of agony I endured in my lifetime."

Greg hissed through his teeth, he should've known this was coming. He unconsciously tensed. "Yes,"

Stopping in front of a room labeled Teleportation, Vader turned to him and asked, "Tell me Greg Veder, does the pain and suffering of a broken man amuse you all so much?"

"I… That's a loaded question Lord Vader. In the context of my world, you are one of the greatest movie villains of all time. Not just because of your fall, but of your redemption arc. That love redeems, that familial bonds are greater than grief, anger, and the lure of power. You symbolize not only the reckless rise to power, but also that even the darkest soul can be redeemed. Your… a messianic figure. You are the Chosen One that Obi-Won believed you to be. You brought balance, true balance to the Force. No ten thousand Jedi, no two Sith, just the Force in equilibrium. When you passed. Your son was there for you in your last moments and the Force did not leave you to suffer. It welcomed you with open arms where you became one with the Force just as Yoda and Obi-wan before you had."

Vader was silent momentarily before saying, "I see… thank you Greg Veder."

"Your welcome," He replied as the two stepped into the teleportation room. Stepping onto the pad, Greg joked, "Beam me up Scottie,"

In response Vader hit the Big Red Button, seeing no other way to operate the machine. The pad was bathed in blue light as Greg Veder was broken down into atoms and sent back into the waking world.

(...)

Greg awoke to a pounding headache. He tried to open his eyes only for everything to be blurry. He blinked a bit, and everything slowly came into focus. A ceiling fan was slowly rotating above him. Its blades were stained in dark varnish while the metal bits were old brass. As he peered at it, it seemed to glow with a green outline and then a small list popped up in his vision that said Screws x8, electrical wiring, wood, rotary engine.

'What the fresh hell is this?' He asked himself. 'You guys seeing this?' he asked the crew in his head

"It seems you know what you'll salvage when you take something apart," Belisarius noted.

'Great so I have some kinda x-ray vision type thing,' he thought back, 'Thinker power maybe?' he wondered. 'Stow that, where am I? My room doesn't have a ceiling fan,' He looked around and that's when he realized he wasn't in his room or even his bed… He wasn't even alone in this bed.

He froze terrified as on the other side of the bed he was lying in was a woman. She was small, with mousy brown hair and she was smiling contentedly. 'Just what the fuck happened to me yesterday?' he asked himself.

"Looks like you lost yer V-card kid congrats. Shame you can't remember it," Flynt cheered for him.

He slowly sat up, not wanting to wake the clearly naked woman in the bed. His head swam when he did, he touched his temple and his hand came away wet with blood. 'The fuck?' He searched around for his clothes and found them discarded all over, gathering them up in the dimly lit room he crept to the bathroom and shutting the door, turning on the bathroom light.

His head was wrapped in bloody gauze. Greg tenderly prodded at it again as he stared at himself in the long mirror in the bathroom. He looked rough, pale, sickly almost. He got dressed before he slowly unwrapped the blood wrappings around his head. He hissed at what he found. Side by side bullet holes that looked like they'd been cauterized closed. "How am I not dead?" He asked himself, the two shots were so close together it looked like an infinity symbol.

"Oof that hits close to home," Courier Six commented, "Well, at least you weren't buried in a shallow grave to boot."

"Yeah thank god for small mercies," He said as he finished getting dressed. He tiptoed out of the room and found himself in a highrise apartment. He could only assume that the woman who lived here was rather well off. He was about to make his way to the door when he heard it.

A baby crying.

'Curse my conscience,' He thought to himself as he made his way towards the noise, stopping briefly in the kitchen to warm up a bottle of milk in case the infant was hungry.

He poked his head into the nursery, finding it a light warm shade of pink with a small bundle squirming in a crib. The crib mobile turning did nothing to calm her mood, "Hey there," Greg said, making a big goofy face and getting the infant's attention. "What's the matter, you hungry huh?"

She stopped crying to stare at him in abject wonder only an infant could show. Greg waved the bottle in front of her with one hand, "This what you want, huh?"

She made gurgling noises in reply. Taking that as a good sign, Greg picked the child up and brought her over to a rocking chair in the corner where he proceeded to give her a bottle. "I knew helping feed the puppies at the animal shelter would come in handy one day… didn't think it would be quite this soon though," He chuckled to himself. "Well Greg you don't know where you are, whose house you're in, or how you got here, but you think you slept with a woman whose child you are currently feeding… where does that leave us?"

"Probably very confused, I bet," a feminine voice replied in whisper-like tones from the doorway.

It was the woman from the bedroom. She had curly light brown hair and eyes, and was short. Like if Greg stood he might be at eye level with her right now, and he was only fourteen. She wore a white shirt that she filled out rather nicely in all the right places and a pair of black panties. She was barefoot as she silently walked across the room to him and just silently observed how he held her daughter.

"You're good at that, but support her head a little more so she doesn't choke."

"I-um right," He nudged her head up a bit, and she seemed more comfortable. He then turned back to this mysterious woman and asked, "Can you tell me what happened yesterday?"

In response the woman beamed at him, "You saved my dear Aster from getting shot, that's what."

"I did what?" Greg asked, that didn't sound like him at all.

She bent over, giving him a good view down her shirt, and kissed him on the cheek. As she pulled away she said, "You don't remember? I was out with Aster in a stroller when those damn Merchant thugs started bickering with the Empire over something or other, guns were drawn, bullets started flying when you pushed us both out of the way of oncoming fire. Though you did get injured in the process," Her hand gently brushed over his wound, he tried his best not to flinch, but the wound was still fresh.

"Sorry Miss but I don't remember any of that."

She frowned, "Kayden Russel, and that's not too surprising, considering what happened. I'm just thankful you're alive Mr. Veder. I looked in your wallet while you were out," She explained, seeing his curious look.

"Right… so I gotta ask did we… um… you know?"

"Have sex?" The woman looked away sheepishly, "I didn't know if I could get you to a hospital in time and I needed to do what I could about the wound. You were almost feral with pain so I did something… primal to distract you."

He blinked… and blinked… and blinked. "Dang, I wish I could remember that."

"The agony of getting your skull cauterized?"

"No, the awesomeness of having my first time be with a badass mil… I mean a mature woman such as yourself."

She blushed from head to toe. In truth Kayden Russel hadn't been complimented like that since her divorce. Between raising her daughter and stepson, doing her job as an internal decorator and her other job, she hadn't been able to go on a date much less even look for a suitable man, much less one who doesn't mind the fact she's a single mother with two kids. 'He's half my age! Of course he'd call me a MILF.' She smiled kindly, flattered all the same. "That's sweet of you to say Greg, but I think we should keep this between us don't you?" She smiled half-pleadingly, "If this were to get out, well, I'd be in trouble and then Aster wouldn't have anyone to look after her."

Greg nodded understandingly, "I understand… is her father not in the picture?" He couldn't help but ask.

"We divorced amicably," Kayden replied, her smile a tad forced, "He traded me in for the younger models."

"Models?"

"Twins," She replied, seeing that her little Aster was again asleep, she said, "Come on lay her down and I'll make us both something to eat alright?"

"Okay," Greg was feeling hungry enough to eat a horse at the moment, but honestly he could've just settled for eating Kayden if given half a chance as he watched her walk out of the room.

'Stupid hormones, stupid memory, stupid damn sexy milf,' He thought to himself as he laid the toddler down and followed her out of the nursery room.

(...)

Kayden could feel his eyes on her ass like laser beams as she walked out of the room and it sent a thrill through her. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been given this much attention by a man except maybe when she and Max had first married. She shook her head, 'Don't Kayden! He's moved on and Greg is too young! He's Theo's age for goodness sake.'

Yet again the idea of doing something taboo, of being with someone younger than her sent a thrill through her. It wasn't helped by a voice in the back of her mind that said,'But he's bigger than Max in certain places. Besides, if he can trade up for a younger model, why can't you?'

Kayden found herself biting her lower lip. 'I can't, it's illegal!'

"You know full well that the line between legal and illegal is getting caught, don't you Purity?' The voice nagged her. 'C'mon you want this, you know you do. He's a young stud and he wants you and you want nothing more than to rub in Kaiser's face that you've moved onto a younger man too.'

She was tempted, sorely tempted to give in, but she couldn't! Even in the cape community this was something looked down upon… Right?

"I could ask on Stormfront… or PHO…" she muttered to herself as she got pans out to fix a simple breakfast of eggs, sausage, and toast. She decided to do just that, logging onto her account using her phone while she cooked while also dreading the response to the question she was about to ask.

(...)

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Topic: Capes and Dating.

In Boards Advice Capes Brockton Bay America

First posted by Pure_Light (Verified Cape) on 04/07/2011

Pure_Light (Verified Cape): Ok so this may come off as… odd, but I'm just gonna come out with it. I've gotten into an awkward situation. I am a Cape as my title suggests, and recently someone I care about very much was put in danger, before I could react (and compromise my civilian identity in the process) someone else intervened. One thing led to another and he ended up sharing my bed. There's just one problem… well two. Firstly, he has no idea I'm a Cape. Secondly, he is younger than me… significantly younger. I know, it's wrong, but ever since my divorce no man has looked at or touched me like he did last night. It felt nice to feel wanted like that again but now I find myself enjoying it. The attention, and such. But I shouldn't, right? Basically I find myself on here, asking what I should do.

Rune (Verified Cape): Hey he left you for two blonde floozies Pure_Light. I say go rob that cradle!.. Again!

Get-of-Fenrir: All that really matters if he's the 'right' kind of person. If you take my meaning.

Rune (Verified Cape): Are you who I think you are Get-of-Fenrir? Because if you are, I never thought I would've found you here on PHO.

Get-of-Fenrir: Kricket N0ise wouldn't shut up about it, so I made an account.

Kricket N0ise: God forbid you socialize in some way that doesn't involve hitting someone G-o-F.

Get-of-Fenrir: Go eat a dick Kricket N0ise!

Kricket N0ise: No thank you.

Chooser_of_the_Slain01: Umm, firstly just how much younger is this person, and secondly we aren't floozies Rune, C_o_t_S02 and I have not, and will never be doing that with Grand Wizard.

Chooser_of_the_Slain02: They thought we were doing what?! Ew! Ew! ? ゚ᄂᆴ?!

Page 2

Pure_Light (Verified Cape): He's… about half my age going by looks, but I don't know the exact number…

Rune (Verified Cape): Damn I said "rob that cradle" jokingly but hey, he must have a massive schlong if you're willing to keep him around… it is big right?

Pure_Light (Verified Cape): Bigger than Grand Wizard's ?

Tin_Mother (Admin): Okay let's keep this PG, this is an advice board not meant for explicit content ladies.

Rune (Verified Cape): Sorry Tin_Mother won't happen again… on a general board at least. ?

Pure_Light (Verified Cape): Apologies, I forgot where I put this for a moment…

Tin_Mother (Admin): To add my own two cents, it sounds like you're still hurting after your divorce Pure_Light and just appreciate the fact that he acted heroically for someone you care deeply for in your stead. I'm not saying what you're doing is right or wrong, it's not my place to judge. But I will say that society has a skewed view on such things. A movie star can marry a woman twenty years his junior and they can break up months later and no one will bat an eye, but if a young man whose old enough to join the Wards and put their life on the line against Endbringers and the like happens to like someone older the world throws a fit.

Pure_Light (Verified Cape): … Thank you Tin_Mother. I didn't expect such deep and well thought out advice from you honestly.

Tin_Mother: I'm more than just a pretty face. ?.

Armsmaster (Verified Cape): Normally I wouldn't bother responding to such a thing, but I think you should try clearing the air with him maybe. Set up some boundaries… guidelines if such a… relationship is going to work.

Page 1, 2, 3

Kid_Win (Verified Ward): All I can think is the guy is a lucky bastard for getting to be with an older woman.

Clockblocker (Verified Ward): Here, here! *salutes* We are not worthy to stand in such greatness!

Vista (Verified Ward): Shut up you two! Can't you see this is a serious dilemma for her! Geez! But seriously we live in a world of people with superpowers, kaiju, and parts of the world that are completely uninhabitable due to inhuman disasters. The human population is probably lower than it's been since I dunno the 1800s or something. So if two consenting people who love each other wanna get together, I say let 'em, age be damned!

Point_Me_ _the_Sky (Verified Cape): Well said Vista!

Vista (Verified Ward): Thanks.

Laser Augment (New Wave): As a cape and a mother, I think you should be asking the bigger question here. Not whether you should be with him because of the age gap, but whether you should be with him due to you being a cape. It's a dangerous life Pure_Light, we all know it, and ask yourself, do you really want to drag a civilian into that?

XxVoid_CowboyxX: Um, what if the event caused the guy to Trigger though? Has she asked him that? I mean if he was taken somewhere private where "One thing led to another" then that implies he was hurt right? Isn't it possible he… you know?

Laser Augment:

Tin_Mother: … Pure_Light? Did you actually ask him if this event caused him to manifest a parahuman ability?

(...)

Kayden dropped her phone in shock because she hadn't thought much about what XxVoid_CowboyxX had just implied. 'What if Greg had actually Triggered from the gunshot wounds? I'd be responsible for someone else's trigger. I'd… need to take responsibility for that…' She gripped the sides of the stove and took a breath.

"Kayden," Greg asked from behind her, making her whip her head around to stare at him, "Are you alright?"

"Greg… when you got shot yesterday did you?"

"I'm pretty sure," He replied, "I'm a pretty sure I'm a Tinker,"

Kayden let out a shuddering breath, "I am… so sorry. I'll… I'll do whatever I can to help. Get you supplies, a workshop, and-" She stopped talking when Greg leaned down a bit to kiss her. Her indecision and her legs both melted like jelly and Greg supported them both gently to the floor, their lips still locked. Kayden had just enough presence of mind to reach up and turn the stove off. The two of them didn't talk for a while after that. Too immersed in each other's bodies to say anything. The taste of each other, a gasp as his hand groped her breasts over her top, a sigh as they briefly pulled apart for air, the feeling of her running her fingers through his hair. Aster's renewed cry finally separated the two.

The two abruptly pulled apart, a string of saliva connecting their lower lips as they huffed lightly for breath and stared into each other's eyes for a long moment. Aster cried again, jolting them into movement. "I should um," Kayden began pointing towards the sounds of her crying child.

Only for Greg to pull back and push himself to his feet, his cheeks and ears beet red, "Yeah sure of course," He awkwardly offered her a hand, refusing to make eye contact with her while his other hand ruffled his blonde locks, "Here, lemme help you up,"

Taking his hand, Kayden was gently pulled to her feet. "I'll check on Aster and when I get back we'll have a proper talk, alright Greg?"

He nodded still not meeting her eyes, "Yeah sure,"

She stood on tiptoes just so she could kiss him on the cheek, "Don't worry, you haven't done anything wrong," She assured him "We just need to figure out where to go from here. Be right back," She dashed out of the room, leaving a smiling young man behind her, and not just because he was watching her derriere wiggle the whole time she was leaving either.

Greg sighed, as he collapsed into a seat at her kitchen table and waited, 'I am so glad I somehow haven't screwed this up yet,' he sat there quietly looking around the kitchen. His gaze flicked from appliance to appliance, his vision filled with parts. He felt his fingers twitch. He just got an idea.

(...)

Kayden returned to the kitchen carrying Aster on one shoulder, only to pause in the doorway. For in the short time she'd been gone, Greg had torn apart her oven, blender, and toaster oven and seemed to be in the midst of making some kind of boxy looking gun. She should be mad, but she couldn't help but smile. 'Well, there's no doubt he's a Tinker now,' She thought to herself, 'And this is what I get for leaving one alone in my kitchen,' Entering and giving him a kiss on the cheek she said, "Having fun Greg?"

"Uhh… I can fix this?" He said coming out of his fugue state.

"It's fine, I've been meaning to redecorate in here for ages anyway. You just gave me a reason to do it…" Kayden paused looking down at the weapon laying on the table. "What is that supposed to be anyway? Clearly it's some type of gun but… It's not loaded is it?" She pulled Aster closer just in case she wasn't too keen on having her near any type of firearm after what happened earlier, especially not Tinkertech.

Greg looked down at the weapon and immediately recognized it, "This is an AEP7 Laser Pistol, and it's not loaded. No microfusion cell in the breach. Guess I didn't have the parts for one."

Kayden let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, "Thank goodness," She continued, "I'm going to get Aster dressed and then we are going out for breakfast and have that talk." Kayden normally wasn't so assertive, she was actually quite timid by nature, but she was the older of the two in this relationship and felt responsible for Greg so she decided to take the lead.

"Okay… Should I um, call my parents or something?" He said aloud to himself.

Kayden opened her mouth, then closed it. "If you want, but what would you tell them?"

"That I got injured in the crossfire between the Empire and the Merchants and a good samaritan was kind enough to take me in till I got better? Also I really can fix your oven and toaster if you want. Just give me a minute."

Kayden waved him off, "No, no, I was serious about needing to redecorate in here. So just leave it and we can go shopping afterwards," She gave him a coy smile. "Now, can I leave you alone in here long enough to get Aster ready to go without you tearing something else up, Greggory?"

"Maybe? To be honest I have no idea what happened," the blonde teen replied with an honest shrug.

In response Kayden went into her junk drawer and provided him with a small notebook and a pen. "Here keep yourself occupied with this instead of tearing my kitchen apart even more," She patted him affectionately on the cheek. "And Greg, give your parents a call, I'm sure they're worried," With that she left to get her daughter ready for an impromptu morning outing.

(...)

Across town near the Docks, Jessica Veder sat tiredly near her phone checking it impatiently every few seconds.

"Anything?" Her blonde bear of a husband Jack asked, his tone a tired grunt, several days worth of stubble having accumulated on his face. His brow knit in concern casting light shadows over his sky blue eyes.

"No," She replied whipping her own blonde braid about, "Greg is a lot of things Jack but he's not the type to worry us unnecessarily. Should we contact the police?"

"Police… Hmm, too busy chasing people running around in tights and their cultish followers to do anything useful," He mumbled as he took a long draught of coffee.

Jessica Veder jumped as her phone played her son's ringtone from some game or another. She nearly dropped it, she was so frantic to answer. Putting it on speaker she answered, "Greg! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine mom, I've… got a bit of a headache but I'm okay," Greg spoke tiredly.

"Where have you been? You didn't come home last night and your father and I have been worried sick!" Jessica borderline yelled into the phone.

"Before I answer that, is Sparky ok?" Greg inquired.

"Spencer is fine, his mother called and said something about a shootout between the Merchants and the Empire downtown. Did you get hurt during that?" His father asked worriedly.

"Yeah I got a little banged up actually," Greg admitted, "But it was either that or watch a mother and her baby get shot so… yeah. She was nice enough to take me back to her place for some first aid though. And hey, now I've got some cool scars. Chicks dig those right?"

"Greg, son, were you shot yesterday?" His father asked bluntly.

"Shot?!" His mother squeaked out. She was almost hyperventilating at the thought of her baby boy getting shot.

"Meh it's just a flesh wound," Greg hedged.

"Just where were you shot son?"

"The arm. Hic."

"Son, you've never been a good liar, you always hiccup when you lie, now, where did you get shot?

"The Cranial area."

"Greg… did you get shot in the head?"

"Only once or twice. I feel fine honestly. I swear. Scouts honor and everything,"

"Greg, firstly, you were never a boy scout. Secondly, how can you feel fine after being shot twice in the head?" His father asked as he placed a hand on his wife's shoulder who was rocking back and forth as she cried.

"Just lucky I guess? Look mom, dad, I just need you both to trust me just this once okay? I'll be home later today and then we can talk. The person who saved me is about to take me out to eat, says I look famished. I'll seeya later I promise," The call ended.

Jack let out a sigh, "Well at least we know he's alive,"

"That's true," Jessica sniffed, "Did he seem a bit more… assertive on the phone? Or was that just me?"

"No," Jack replied, "It wasn't just you, he changed since yesterday. Could be from the lead in his head."

"Must you be so blunt Jack?!" His wife asked, slapping him on his meaty arm. "Our son was hurt, you know?"

"I'm aware woman, I'm just afraid of how much he might've changed. The brain is delicate. Hell, Greg was telling me just the other day of a man who got gored through the head with a steel pipe back in the old west. He was a mild mannered man previously, but after the accident he became a rude, violent, and savage drinker. That's the point I'm trying to make. Is his attitude from the head wound or something else."

"Well, we'll just have to wait and see," Jessica said, hoping her son was as 'okay' as he said he was.

(...)

Greg found himself in an International House Of Pancakes, nervously peering over the menu at the mother across from him who occasionally fussed over her daughter in her highchair. Catching his eye she smiled at him, saying, "Don't be so nervous Greg, no one knows anything unless you or I say something, and I'm not planning on doing that, are you?"

"No… well… no, you're probably right, that would be a bad idea," He said, smirking a bit. "Ow," He said when she kicked him under the table.

"Ass," she said.

"I may be an ass, but it's not as nice as yours," he muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

Cheeks turning pink Kayden said, "You're teasing me on purpose,"

"Yep, totally," Greg admitted. While privately thinking her marriage must've been a pretty shitty one if he can get to her this easily. 'Maybe she was some dicks trophy wife or something?'

He peered around the diner and noticed it was filled with a cast of characters today. Just down the way Glory Girl was in costume along with a tired looking Panacea in the booth next to her. Huddled up at the bar were a group of teens, of various heights, genders and ethnicities. A blond with a long neck that made her look like a swan, an african boy of indeterminate age with long hair, a handsome looking blonde man, and a young lady in a wheelchair with chestnut brown hair who was currently perched on a stool.

His weird Thinker ability was driving him nuts. It kept telling him he could get wood, screws, and metal from the table, glass and salt from the salt shaker, metal from the utensils and glass from the cups and saucers. 'Like okay powers I get it, I can make shit, but I don't really wanna out myself as a new cape in a damn IHOP right now thank you very much.'

"Have you decided what you're getting?" Kayden asked him.

"Black coffee and sirloin steak tips and eggs if that's okay?" He asked.

Kayden laughed a little. "That's fine Greg I'm pretty sure I can afford it. What with all the damage capes cause to this city, my job is always in high demand."

"Ah… what do you do?" He asked.

"I'm an interior decorator. It pays well in cape-dense cities as I'm sure you can imagine. Obviously, you're still a student, but what school do you attend?" Kayden asked conversationally.

"Good ole Winslow the gang recruitment central in our pleasant little… heckhole," He didn't wanna swear in front of the toddler. He cooed at the toddler and the squees of joy from Aster showed she appreciated the attention.

Kayden smiled appreciatively. "I see, it must be rough there. What do your parents do, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Mom's a nurse down at Brockton General, not that it matters much because they have Panacea, I mean what good is a nurse when you have one person who can do the job of a hundred of them in seconds?" Greg didn't hate Panacea of course, it's just, she made his mothers life difficult. After all, it's hard for a nurse to get her hours in, much less approved for overtime without patients to look after.

Kayden winced as quite a few people sent to the hospital were collateral damage when she was part of the Empire. Her powers, while precise to a degree, were still troublesome to wide area damage. Left unstated is that some of the very same clients she worked with, She accidentally flew through their home or apartment after a fight gone wrong. Thank God her breaker state increased her durability. "And your father?"

"Dockworker. A lifer," Greg said, "Been working there since he was eighteen, or so he likes to brag. Good honest work he says," Greg smiled a bit at that. "He's a big bear of a guy my dad, stubborn, slow moving, but strong as an ox… unless you piss him off then God help you. He's well, like a bear. My mom calls him Klondike."

Kayden laughed at that, "That's funny, should I think up a pet name for you too? Pooh maybe?"

"One, I'm not fat, and two, I'm not dumb enough to wear a red shirt, red shirts die first," He said, raising a finger each time he made a point.

A waitress came over and took their orders giving Greg a double take when he ordered black coffee but shrugging and doing it anyway. They both sipped on their beverages for a moment, Kayden her coffee with cream and sugar and Greg plain black coffee. Finally, Greg broke the silence. "I think we should lay all our cards on the table if we want this… relationship… to go anywhere don't you Kayden?"

Putting her mug down while still cupping it in her hands for warmth, Kayden asked, "Do you really want a relationship with me though Greg? I mean, surely there must be a girl your own age you're interested in, right?" There she'd given him an out, all he had to do was take it, and both of them could just forget about last night, which he couldn't remember anyway, and that moment of heated passion this morning.

"There is…" He stated looking away ashamed, "But I don't deserve to be with her, not after I just stood by like a coward and watched what happened to her."

"What do you mean?"

Sighing, Greg said, "Winslow is a crappy school full of crappy people. But the crappiest people have got to be a trio of girls called Sopia Hess, Emma Barnes and Madison Clements. They basically run the school and torture anyone who disagrees with them. Their favorite target for abuse however is the girl I like. Her name is Taylor Hebert…. Three months ago…" He paused, taking a drink of coffee to steel his nerves. "Three months ago their bullying campaign against her escalated. It happened just after Christmas break. They shoved Taylor into her locker and it was full of… God… used feminine products and human waste. Then they locked her in there. She begged, she screamed for someone, anyone to help her and everyone just laughed. And I… I stood there in the back like a coward. I was too afraid of what Sopia and all of her cronies might do if I went against her," He took another pull of coffee ignoring how it scalded his throat, before he continued, "I only found out later she had been left in there a full day. That no one, not the teachers, not the janitor, no one, had bothered to help her all that time. By the time they let her out she was delirious and they had to call a hazmat team to spray down her locker," He looked down in shame. "I heard from my dad that she was in the hospital for two weeks on antibiotics because of all the crap in that locker. All because I didn't let her out sooner," He looked up at Kayden with unshed tears of guilt, "How can I claim to care about someone if I can't bring myself to help them when they need it most?"

Kayden reached across the table and took his hand in hers, "Greg, it's not your fault. You were outnumbered, a dozen, two dozen, or more than that to one? You can't blame yourself for this." privately she was fuming, 'I am going to get the grunts on the phone and give them an earful! I may not officially be a part of the Empire anymore, but that is beyond the pale!' She thought to herself. She continued consoling Greg. "Don't worry Greg, but I've seen what you're hiding under that shirt, you don't look the least bit out of shape."

"Oh that started after the Locker incident, I hit up my nextdoor neighbor . He owed me a favor for helping him with a home invasion, so he helped me get in shape and taught me how to fight. I didn't want to just stand around and not do anything if someone was put in danger again. So when I saw you and Aster about to get shot, I just… acted I guess."

"Wait, wait, back up, you stopped a home invasion."

"Oh yeah… well see, he'd just lost his wife and I'd always mowed and raked his lawn so we were close you know, so when I heard she passed I'd made up some food for the guy and brought it over to show my condolences only to find some E88 assholes breaking into his place. So I rushed back home, got the shotgun my dad keeps for home defense and came in through the front door. They had bats. I had a twelve gauge."

"Why dare I ask were some Empire goons trying to rob him?" Kayden asked, trying to keep the annoyance and exasperation out of her tone.

"His car," He informed her as their food arrived, after the waitress had left he continued, "They wanted to steal his '69 Mustang Boss 429."

"That's a…nice car," She commented, surprised that someone who didn't live near downtown had such a car.

"Yeah, it is," Greg agreed. "And that's my story, now it's your turn,"

'Would he still be okay with me if he learns I'm Purity?' She wondered. Considering all the dustups he'd had with the Empire so far, she somehow doubted it, so she said, "What is there to say really, I'm a divorced single mother of two, you haven't met Theo yet, interior designer and that's about it."

Greg gave her a deadpan look before he spoke in a tone only she could hear, "Would you like to try that again, Purity?"

Kayden's eyes widened in shock and surprise, "How long have you known?"

"Since this morning when I commented on that little chat you opened up on relationship advice for capes. You and the others suck at coming up with codenames by the way," He told her bluntly. "I mean Get-of-Fenrir? Really Hookwolf? Kricket N0ise for Cricket, and Rune wasn't pretending to be something else while Fenja and Menja weren't trying very hard though I imagine it a relief to know they aren't sleeping with Kaiser or that he dumped you for them, right?" Kayden just stared at him open mouthed, causing him to tease, "You'll catch flies like that you know?"

"You… managed to figure out all of our identities from our PHO handles?" She said after a moment.

"Wasn't hard," Greg confirmed, "You guys lack creativity, like I said,"

Quickly running over the list of people on her board this morning, she found the one that stood out, "Your XxVoid_CowboyxX aren't you?"

"Guilty as charged," He said, raising his hands up in defense, smirking a little. "Ow," He said again when she kicked him under the table for the second time.

"Do you have an idea how much your post worried me?!" She hissed at him.

"To be fair," He said before he took a bite of delicious streak, "I was right, I did Trigger,"

Kayden pouted at him, crossing her arms, "Not the point, you could've told me you know?!"

Pointing his fork at her Greg rebutted, "And you could've mentioned your previous nazi affiliation but you don't see me holding it against you do you?"

"Not a nazi," Kayden rebutted, seeing the skeptical look in his eyes she said again, "I'm not a white supremacist,"

Running a hand down his face, Greg thought, 'Guys help me out here?'

Dr. Halsey chimed in, "Repeat after me dear,"

"It doesn't matter if you are or aren't Kayden, you've been around them and their ideology for so long, it's likely affected your thought processes, colored your decision making, and will affect the way you see things," Greg parroted. "For example, if you were to hire a babysitter for Aster, who would you hire?"

Kayden bit her lower lip for a moment before she replied, "Oh well I'd have to go through their background, make sure they don't have a history of drugs or arrests, which already narrows it down by a fair margin in this city," Kayden rambled on for a bit before Greg interrupted her.

"You've already forgotten the most important thing, do they actually know how to take care of a child?" Greg rebutted, waving away the waitress when she was making her way over to refill his coffee. "The other thing you're missing is character. Do you know why Lung is feared but respected despite being a lazy ass? Why Kaiser is respected despite being a racist piece of shit yet Skidmark is universally hated?"

"Lung fought Leviathan to a standstill, but Kaiser…" Kayden was drawing a blank.

"Kaiser has class," Greg explained, "He may be a piece of shit nazi, but at least he's not pushing drugs onto people… what?" Greg asked, seeing her own disbelieving look being directed at him.

"You mean to tell me that being a dealer is worse than being a nazi?" Kayden questioned.

"You can always just stop being a nazi, you did. But it's a lot harder to quit drugs after you've gotten addicted to them. Being a nazi doesn't cause miscarriages, premature births, or children to be born with addictions. It has a lower chance of completely fucking up some poor kids life than Skidmark pedaling his poison does."

"You really don't like drugs do you Greg? Kayden questioned.

"Things like alcohol and smokes I have no problem with, but harder shit like cocaine, ecstasy, LSD, PCP and all that shit? Nah," He said, shaking his head, "I had an uncle once. Gilligan was his name but we all just called him Gill. He liked to go out drinking at this place down by the Docks… Well one night some Merchant assholes thought it would be funny to spike everyone's drinks with a little coke, maybe they wanted to expand their customer base or something I dunno. But my uncle had a heart condition. He didn't make it. That little bit of coke caused him to have a heart attack and he died."

"I'm so sorry Greg, were you close with your uncle?" Kayden asked.

"Kinda? He was like the big brother I never had. Got me into videogames and such," He let out a sad laugh, "I didn't figure this out till after he was gone, but whenever I was around he'd act like Popeye, smoke a pipe, keep one eye closed, tell me to eat my veggies crap like that. He was such a dork but he was still my uncle."

"He sounds like quite the guy, his choice of role models for you being a bit before your time notwithstanding," Kayden said gently.

"Yeah he was weird like that," Greg sighed, his hand held out for the salt shaker only for his hand and then the shaker to glow blue before it slid across the tabletop and into his waiting palm. "Kayden, you saw that too right?" The brunette nodded. "Good, glad to know I wasn't hallucinating."

"Do you have some sort of telekinetic ability Greg? I thought you were just a Tinker, not a Shaker," Kayden spoke in hushed tones looking around furtively to make sure they weren't being overheard, or worse that Gregs impromptu magic trick hadn't been seen.

"Well, I had an idea I might be able to do more with it but I wasn't entirely sure," the teen muttered back.

"Good job kid, you just confirmed you're a natural biotic," Shepard praised. "Now we just need to find what your upper threshold is, and see about getting implants from there,"

'Later,' Greg promised.

"So Tinker and Shaker? Weird combo but not unheard of," Kayden said as she threw some coins from her pouch onto the table. "C'mon let's get outta here," she said as she picked up Aster and put her in her baby carrier and proceeded to hurry out of the restaurant.

As they left, Panacea muttered, "I wonder what had those two in a hurry?"

"They probably heard how you were holding me back from giving that kid a beating for running his mouth about you," Glory Girl said defensively.

"Vicky please stop… I never actually considered how all my time at the hospital was affecting the staff, maybe I could take it a bit easier like everyone keeps telling me after all?"

"Seriously? Like no kidding Aims?" Seeing her usually 'dead on her feet sister' to nod Victoria Dallon let her head fall on the tabletop with a thump.

"Umm Vicky are you okay?" Amy asked.

"Just peachy… I'm just amazed that all it took for you to finally take more days off and have some semblance of a life was for someone to point out how your powers were affecting the paychecks of the hospital staff."

"Well that's different!" Amy argued, "I'm affecting people's livelihoods, I feel kinda bad for doing that and not noticing you know?"

Lifting her head from the table surface, Victoria looked out the large window that dominated the front of the IHOP and watched as the young blonde boy got into the car with the older woman who might've been his mother or a young aunt. "Well, next time I see that guy, I might just have to give him a kiss as thanks."

"I don't think Dean would be too happy about that," Amy said sourly.

"Eh, he'd understand once I explained the situation," Vicky replied, waving her sister's worries off. "Say sis do you have a type?"

"What's this all of a sudden?" Amy asked.

Vicky sent her sister a look, "I mean c'mon Aims, even you gotta admit, the blonde was cute right? He could use a decent haircut but other than that… Cute right?"

"Well, I mean, I do like blondes," Amy admitted at last.

Vicky's eyes lit up, "Ohoho? You do, do you… hmm then maybe I should've gone over there regardless, I could've shaken that guy down and gotten his number for you sis."

Amy waved her sister off, before she got one of her hair-brained ideas like flying after the car or something, "No Vicky, it's fine really. I'm just glad to be off a twelve hour shift, and after overhearing what he said… I think I'm going to be reorganizing the amount of time I spend at the hospital from now on."

"Yeah I definitely owe that guy a kiss next time I see him. What did his aunt say his name was? Craig?"

"Greg, she said his name was Greg."

"Greg, right," Victoria said resolutely, "I'll remember it, us blondes need to stick together after all."

Amy didn't know why, but she felt like this Greg character had just started something, someway, somehow. She wasn't sure whether she should blame or thank him yet.

(...)

While he was riding shotgun in Kayden's admittedly nice minivan she was making phone calls on a wireless bluetooth headset. "Hello James? It's Kayden Russel. I'm doing great thanks for asking, but I was wondering is that old brick building down by the Docks still for sale? Why? Well, I think found you a potential buyer but he'd like to remain anonymous. I'd be signing in his stead, is that okay? Great! I'll be by in a couple days to fill out the paperwork. Bye James." She turned off the bluetooth and said, "There, that's step one done."

"Step one to what?" Greg asked.

"Getting you a base of operations of course. I meant it when I said I'd take responsibility and pay for everything. So, now that we're in my car, how does your power work?"

"Woah, woah, hold up! Can you afford to just go out and buy a building?"

"My ex-husband's alimony check is quite large, don't worry," She assured him, patting his thigh. "Now, powers, spill."

"Umm, well, hmm… you know how the Butcher's power works from the Teeth? It's kinda like that,"

"Greg, are you telling me you have multiple voices inside your head?" Kayden said, turning to look at him as they were stopped at a red light.

"Well when you put it like that it sounds a lot worse than it really is. They aren't awful people nor are they terribly talkative unless I ask. Most of them are pop culture icons anyway so you'd recognize them if I name dropped them." Greg said.

Eyes back on the road as the light turned green, Kayden said, "Go ahead,"

"Well, there's Darth Vader for a start."

"You have a Sith Lord talking to you in your head?" Kayden asked.

"Relax this is post Return of the Jedi Vader… I hope," Greg said

"Who else… wait, actually how many of them are there first of all?"

"Like, eight people? And all of them have some kind of tinkering speciality?"

Kayden started laughing, "You are probably the most broken tinker ever outside of Hero you know that?"

Greg hadn't really thought about it till she pointed it out but… 'Shit I'm OP! I need to go to ground, build up a powerbase before the PRT or one of the other gangs find out about me and press me,' He swallowed. "I'm not gonna have to join the Empire am I?"

"What? I… No! Greg no! I'm not going to sell you out to the Empire I promise. I'm doing this because you saved my and Aster's life."

Another even more shocking revelation struck Greg then. "Wait, you're paying for everything!"

"Yes?"

"And you're older than me," He continued.

"And? That didn't bother you before now," Kayden said, giving him a sideways glance.

"That means… you're my sugar mama!"

Silence reigned in the car as Kayden tried to find a way to refute his claim. 'Older, buying him things, had sex… shit he's right!... To hell with it,' She decided. She smirked a little bit, "Well, I don't mind being your sugar mama Greg. Do you have a problem with being my sugar baby?"

He thought about it for a moment, "Not really no… as long as I get to pay for things on occasion. I mean eventually I'm going to be able to market my tech, meaning I'll have an income so…"

"We'll go from sugar mama and baby to power couple," Kayden finished for him, "Doesn't sound so bad to me. Who are the other people you're letting live rent free in your head?"

"Let's see, there's Lieutenant Commander Shepard, Belisarius Cawl, The Engineer from Team Fortress 2,"

"Seriously? I loved that game before I triggered!" Kayden commented. "I mained the Heavy."

Greg blinked, "Wow really? You didn't seem the gamer girl type."

"Well post trigger I didn't game much if at all. But before that, yeah I played TF2 all the time. I really liked the Heavy's lore. He sent all of his money back to his family in Russia after he broke them out of the gulag. I mean come on, who doesn't like a good family story?"

"Yeah he was pretty bad," Greg agreed. "Besides those four I also have Dr. Halsey the creator of Cortana from Halo, Zane Flynt a mercenary from Borderlands 3, and Jack Ryan the protagonist from the first Bioshock game. Any of these names ring a bell?"

"Besides the Engineer and Vader, nope, not one. Who are they and what can they do?"

Greg explained and by the time he was done Hayden was just staring straight ahead in a sort of daze. "Hayden are you okay?" The older of the two capes put her car in park on the side of the road before she turned to him and said, "Greg, if you can do even half of the stuff you just told me do you realize how much you could change things here in Brockton? Drugs that instantly heal you, make you smarter, increase aggression, power armor, nuclear weapons, lasers, plasma weapons, cybernetic implants, clones, computers on your wrist than can make anything, gravity manipulation. Hell you might have the Force!"

"What I did back at the restaurant was use of natural biotics mass effect field manipulation," He informed her.

"That too," Kayden commented. "Can you do anything else?"

"I seem to be able to tell what kind of parts I can get from something just by looking at it. It might be some kind of Thinker power, but I'm not sure,"

"Well since you don't need to touch it, it's not a Striker power. Thinker makes the most sense right now," She agreed. "Does it work on people? Your thinker power?"

"I haven't tried it, but it kinda just worked on its own so I've kinda been tuning it out. Let's see…" He looked at Kayden and waited for something, anything to happen.

[Object can be rendered down into the following components: four quarts of blood (oil) fat, bones (Calcium) Flesh, sinew, skin (leather), x20 nails (keratin), x1 womb (natural), tendons, ligaments, brain, Shard (Lightbringer).]

"Umm, it works on people," Greg said after a moment.

Seeing him looking rather pale she took his hand and asked, "Are you alright Greg?"

He shook his head, "No, not really, that was creepy… Hey Kayden?"

"Yeah?"

"What's a Shard?" He asked.

"I have no idea why?"

"My… dissection sight or whatever we're gonna call it said you had one but I don't know what that is."

"Me either," she said, though she did wonder about it. "I think I should just take you home, you look like you've seen a ghost. No arguing," She said when she saw him open his mouth to protest.

"Fine~!" He said though his heart wasn't in it. Whatever a shard was it felt weird to know about. Some sleep in his own bed might do him some good.

(...)

'Let it be known that Greg Veder died of suffocation in his mother's bosom!' Greg thought as his mother was trying to suffocate him to death, hugging him as she cried.

"Daa…hemph!" His pleas were muffled but heard by his father nonetheless who forcefully but gently removed his son from his wife's embrace before he needed resuscitation.

"Good to see you in one piece son," Jack said, clapping his son on the shoulder before he noticed the scar on his temple. "You must have the devil's own luck to survive getting shot like that."

"That, and I had a good nurse," He told his father, nodding to Kayden.

"It was the least I could do Greg, considering you put yourself in harm's way to protect myself and little Aster here." She said as she balanced her pride and joy in her arms, who cooed happily at Greg. He waved back and made funny faces, causing her to giggle even more.

"Would you like to come inside, Miss Russell?" Jack offered.

"I'd be delighted," Kayden said smiling.

The Veder home was cozy if cluttered. Pictures and nicknacks lined the off gray walls. A coffee table sat in the living room that one entered immediately upon passing the front door, a couch and two armchairs were in the front room with a dining table just behind it, and the kitchen off to the left. One door was straight and to the left leading to some unknown room.

"My room," Greg told her, answering her unasked question.

"So close to the front door, is that safe?" She asked concerned for his well being.

"We often joke that if there's a home invasion, he better put up a fight long enough for me to grab my shotgun," Jack said, laughing a little at his own dark humor.

"Love you too dad," Greg said flatly.

Jessica hit her husband on the arm. "Klondike, our boy's been injured, can't you quit it with that joke for one night?"

"Right, sorry, sorry," Easing back into one of the armchairs, Jack turned to Kayden and asked, "So besides dropping our unusually heroic son off, Miss Russell, what can we do for you?"

"Am I so easy to read Mr. Veder?" Kayden asked, giving a rueful smile.

"Call me Jack, Mr. Veder was my father, but yes Miss Russell you're an open book, so what brings you by with the tot no less?"

Kayden nodded, "Well, I suppose there is no point in hiding it,"

'Wait, Kayden, what're you doing?!' Greg thought.

"I feel just awful about what happened to Greg so while I've borrowed him today I've been thinking of a way to repay him for his courageous act and I think I've come up with something I think you'll find agreeable."

"Which is?" Jack inquired as Jessica silently leaned in.

"I'd like to hire Greg as my personal assistant. I'm an interior decorator not just for homes but businesses and the like. It would earn him quite the paycheck for taking notes and the like. I thought it would be a fair exchange until… until we find out how his head wound might've affected him?"

The husband and wife looked at each other and nodded, "We were worried about the same thing honestly, and we're fine with your offer if Greg is willing to put in the effort."

The adults looked at him expectantly. And he replied, "Well, how can I say no to this pretty face?" He said as he made a silly face at Aster, who giggled. "Besides, if the whole assistant thing doesn't work out, I can always be your babysitter."

"Well, Aster does seem quite taken with you," Kayden readily agreed. "But let's call that plan B shall we?"

A frantic knocking came at the door and Jack called from his chair, as he silently pulled up a sawed-off over-under shotgun, from the skirt of his chair, "Who is it?"

"It's John, is Greg back?" a semi-hoarse voice called back.

"Yes, come in, come in."

The door was pulled open and a pale, tall man, with long dark hair, wearing jeans and a t-shirt walked into the room. He walked right over to Greg and knelt down, "You okay kid?"

"Yeah I'm fine Mr. Wick, hic,"

He slicked Greg's hair back revealing the bullet scars at his temple. "You're still a shitty liar kid. Who did this?"

"Just some Empire mooks who were getting into a shootout with the Merchants. I took the bullet to keep Miss Russell and little Aster here safe."

John glanced at them then back at Greg, "I see. Well, you can come by whenever you want to keep up your workout alright? Though I might be busy for the next couple of days. Use this time for some R&R okay?"

"Yeah you got it , but will you be going somewhere? Do you need me to look after Daisy?" Greg offered to look after his Beagle puppy as a last gift from his late wife.

"Could you? I'd appreciate it. I'm gonna be… preoccupied for the next couple of days," John requested of him. "I'll owe you a favor."

"No problem Mr. Wick, I could use the company."

"Good, seeya in a couple days Greg, rest up. Jack, Jess, ma'am." He said giving them all a curt nod before leaving.

"Poor John, he's never been the same since his wife passed. Seems to like our Greg though." Jessica commented. "He was right about one thing though dear, you do look a bit pique, why don't you go lay down?"

"Sure, night everyone. Seeya soon Kayden?" He said, giving her his best smile.

"Count on it Greg, I'm already thinking up all kinds of things we could do, and how I can help you both in, and outside of school. I've heard horror stories of Winslow's curriculum, and I'd hate for a courageous boy like yourself to get a subpar education. So think of what I'm going to teach you like… a trade school profession. We'll start tomorrow."

"Great, I'm really looking forward to it," He told her before he entered his room.

As he tucked himself into his sheets and looked around at his various cape posters, Greg couldn't help but wonder what kind of turn his life was about to take. One thing was for sure, he wasn't going to be the guy who stood by and did nothing anymore. 'Next time, next time she's in trouble I'll act,' He promised himself as he shut his eyes.

(...)

Word Count: 13,900 Number of Pages: 31 Date Completed: 3/30/2023

(...)

AN: Hello people! Welcome to Butchered Tech, my latest offering to the Worm Fandom. I do hope you all enjoy this Tinker based story of Greg… with some of the brightest minds in fiction in his head. Now, here's Snowy and First Hassan to finish things up.

Icysnowsage: I am here to say that contrary to popular belief this story isn't that weird compared to some of the files I have read for Bubba. I am going to air out the first thing a few people are thinking. Yes Greg is 14 and yes Kayden is 28 -29. The only thing I can say is that age gap ain't gonna matter very long after some things get done to Gregory. He is going to age physically and mentally. He already mentioned the procedure of going through that makes a scout marine. Let us just say Greg will be going through new experiences. I am proud of this story and Bubba is working hard on it. I hope the audience enjoys it and understands this story was made with the best of intentions. Also the world of worm is messed up beyond belief with how twisted morality, population, and crisis may lead to some changes in thought.

First Hassan: Hahahahahaha! Our favorite yet wimp of a boy has not only Darth Vader inside of him but also other greatest technicians in the entire Galaxy! Belisarius Cawl, the one who made the Primaris Marines, Engineer from Team Fortress!(love that game and I still play it to this day) need something? The Engineer will build it for you . And Catherine Halsey, the one who made Cortana and the SPARTAN soldiers. There is many others on his mind as well, so get ready Brockton Bay! Cause it's gonna be a wild ride! Thank you guys for reading our story, if you want more or want to be a chapter ahead, head to Bubba' account where it hasn't been edited by yours truly. I'll see you guys later! (Turning around while blue flames surrounds Hassan before disappearing)

Thanks again for reading! This has been an Inkblot Bros Production! Peace!