Adam
As I stand outside waiting for him, my heart is beating at about 150 bpm. I'm not usually a nervous person, but now I feel as if I could explode with anxiety. This boy makes me feel emotions and ways that I never thought I could, not before I met him. He's helped and hurt me so much equally that I don't even know how to react. And as I see him slowly walking towards where I'm stood, in the way only he can, I'm suddenly short of breath and lost for words. I prepare myself, walk to meet him and we stop in front of each other. A few seconds of silence pass before I decide to say something.
'Hey…' we both say at the same time.
'No, you' we say in unison again.
'You first' he says.
'I was gonna say hey how are you?' I say. As I say this, words start forming in my head. Coherent sentences all forming exactly what I want to express. For the first time in my life, I know exactly what I want to say, completely in contrast to the way I felt mere moments ago. 'But instead, I wanna say this. You mean a lot to me Eric, and you really hurt me. But the reason you hurt me hurts you as well. I know that. I'm sorry if I didn't make our relationship feel adventurous enough, or exotic enough if that's the right word. Safety and comfort is what I feel when I'm with you, and that hasn't changed, but I'm willing to try other stuff, if it means keeping you around.' After I finish, I take a huge sigh of relief and wait for him to reply.
Eric
As I'm listening to Adam pour his heart out in front of me, I can't help but feel such warmth that I haven't felt in a long time. As he says that safety and comfort has never left me and per his admission, it hasn't left him either. I was so afraid that I'd hurt him beyond reconciliation, but now it's clear that I haven't. This is honestly the best news I've had after days of negativity. I move forward to kiss and hug him. He returns the gesture in the way I'm so accustomed to and hold him. Our embrace lasts for, actually I don't know how long, but I eventually let him go so I can speak.
'Everything you said rings true for me' I begin. 'I want to continue being together, no more surprises or anything. This is what feels right for me, and I know it's what I want for my future. I enjoy our time together, and I always wanna be around you. I wanna move forward together.'
'That sounds amazing' he responds. 'Do you wanna come back to my place? It's only around 20 steps in that direction and very cosy.' He points at his house.
'I'd love to' I say. We start walking in the direction of his house, hand in hand. Talking about all the usual, inconsequential things people talk about. My mind briefly flutters to the hospital, but I'm sure things over there are under control. Ola will find out and from there, it's down to Jakob, Jean, and Ola. Besides, there's nowhere I'd rather be right now than walking into my boyfriends house to have an amazing time together, whatever we end up doing.
