Hosgmeade weekend had snuck up on Rachel. Sirius had reminded her that he'd be there for lunch, assuming nothing came up, but she'd managed to put it out of her mind again while they'd been dealing with the cup. She was behind on homework and needed to spend today catching up.
"Are we asking Malcolm to join us for lunch today?" Theo asked as they made their way into the Great Hall for breakfast.
"I think that would be a good idea. He should have the opportunity to see Sirius more before this summer," Rachel said, glancing around the room. They had the small round tables taking up half of the Great Hall today and then the other half of the Great Hall has spaces for the shops to set up. She was still not interested in attending the faux Hogsmeade weekends, though she wasn't entirely sure what the problem was for her there. "We should see if Draco wants to join us too."
"Draco's with Pansy today, it's Valentine's Day," Millie reminded her.
"Right," Rachel said. She'd nearly forgotten about Valentine's Day as well, not that it held any sort of significance to her.
They found the rest of the study group, took seats and began to serve themselves food.
"Rachel, will Professor Snape need you again today?" Hermione asked.
"No, we're done now." Thank goodness.
"Did whatever you're doing turn out alright?" Ginny asked.
"Yes, we finished it, so that's good. Really it went as well as possible." Better than she could have expected. It still didn't quite feel real. The horcruxes were gone. All except the snake. And now she could try to close her connection. "I shouldn't have lessons with Professor Dumbledore anymore either, but I might have something else I have to do on Saturday evenings." She did want to push at closing her connection and if Severus could help her on Saturday evenings in addition to Sundays, all the better. Not tonight though, she needed today and tonight for homework.
"I do wish they wouldn't do these things to you," Luna said, looking worried.
Rachel shook her head. "It's important and I'm the only one who can do it."
"You're sure you're the only one who can do it?" Millie asked. "They keep pushing at you to do things. They've done this for years now."
"It's alright, really. I want to be doing this and it's necessary. Please don't worry about it."
"If you're sure, but we'll still worry about you. You're our friend," Neville said, getting nods from around the table.
"And they really should be letting you focus on your NEWTs. We only have a little less than four months now," Hermione said.
Rachel found that she barely cared about her NEWTs at all. She still did the studying, but she wasn't sure she was even going to be alive to take them. And if she did take them, she wouldn't live long enough for them to be useful. Being prepared for the war and for dealing with the Dark Lord was what was important and that's what she'd do. It sounded like Severus and Professor Dumbledore were working out a plan, so she'd let them talk it over before she nosed her way in to find out what was happening.
"Four months isn't so bad. We already know most of what we need to know for them. Charms will start in class reviews soon and I bet Professor McGonagall will have some reviews in class as well. We're already good to go as far as Defense goes. We're well prepared for Potions and Herbology. That just leaves Runes and Arithmancy to worry about and we're not cramming dates for History this time," Theo listed.
"Do you think they're going to have us do a modification on a potion for our Potions NEWT?" Millie asked.
Since everyone was looking at her, Rachel spoke up. "I'll ask Severus what they usually do."
"That would be good. And we know about what to expect for the others. Maybe we should ask Gemma to talk about what happened on her Defense NEWT to the class," Theo suggested.
"I think that's a reasonable thing to ask," Hermione agreed.
Rachel refocused on her breakfast, reminding herself that she could check her planner to organize herself after she ate. She kept feeling like she was forgetting something or letting something go unfinished, but she had no idea what it might be.
"Are any of us attending this Hogsmeade thing today?" Theo asked.
"I don't particularly want to," Neville said.
"I'm going to say hi to Fred and George and hit Honeydukes, but otherwise I don't need to be here," Ginny said.
"I will go with Ginny. I quite like Fred and George," Luna added.
"And I need Honeydukes because I am going through sugar quills like crazy," Millie said.
"Not for me this time," Rachel said, exchanging her toast for pumpkin juice. She wasn't in a toast mood but she knew that she needed to eat. She couldn't let herself get sick now that they'd actually accomplished something.
"I don't think there's anything I particularly need either," Hermione said.
"Me neither. How about the library?" Theo checked.
"That I do need," Hermione said
"Me too," Neville said.
"Too soon to tell, I need to look at what homework I've got," Rachel said.
"You should have everything you need in our two-way books," Theo told her.
"Thanks." She finished the last of what she was going to eat and pulled her planner out of her bag so she could start figuring herself out.
"In that case, let's split up for the morning, reconvene for lunch with Sirius and Remus, and then we can decide what the plan is for the afternoon," Hermione said. "Let's try to do partners or trios today so no one gets stuck somewhere alone."
Rachel went down her list. She had a Potions essay from Thursday to write, that was two feet and would take about an hour. She had to write the equations and graphs of the process of the Impervious charm for Arithmancy, which would take maybe an hour and a half, though she might be able to squeeze it down to an hour. Her Transfiguration essay was also two feet and would take about an hour if she already had the material to work from. The Herbology essay from Friday should only take thirty minutes and Gemma hadn't given them an assignment on Friday. Rune translation and memorization would take at least an hour and she knew she could expect a quiz on Monday. Maybe she'd do the translation today since that would only take thirty minutes and memorize the runes Sunday night. Wait, maybe not. "Millie, do we have Arithmancy with Pansy and Daphne Sunday evening?" Rachel asked.
"Yes, at eight," Millie answered.
Rachel nodded. She could memorize the runes on Sunday at nine thirty then and be done by ten thirty. That left her…with definitely not enough time to finish by lunch. She could do the Potions essay, the Transfiguration essay, and the Rune translation before lunch. Then lunch with Sirius and Remus, and then NEWT studying with the group, then Herbology and the Arithmancy assignment after dinner. "Alright, I've got to get to work, I have three days of homework to catch up on."
"I'll come with you, we'll see all of you in the study room by lunch," Theo said.
"Alright, I think Neville and I are going to the library and we'll join you soon," Hermione said.
Rachel tucked her planner back in her bag and stood. She scanned the Great Hall until she found where the Slytherin and Ravenclaw fourth years were eating together and made her way there with Theo.
"Malcolm, you're welcome to join us for lunch today. Sirius and Remus should be here," Rachel told him.
"You want me there?" Malcolm asked, his brow furrowing.
"Yes, if you want to come, we want you there. No pressure," she said.
"It's just a casual invitation," Theo added. "If you want to join us, we'll be meeting in the entrance hall at noon."
Malcolm nodded, but he looked uncertain.
Rachel left it at that and headed out of the Great Hall with Theo at her side.
"Do you need any help with any of the homework?" Theo asked as they walked.
"I don't think so, but I'll let you know if I do. I prefer doing it with the group, but I can do it on my own," she said.
"I know you can. I just know that you're under a lot of stress right now and want to help if I can."
"Thank you." She considered that as they started up the stairs. Was she under a lot of stress right now? Had she simply gone through being stressed and come out the other side? She didn't feel particularly stressed. She felt…she had no idea how she felt. Somehow it was much easier to tell what the Dark Lord was feeling rather than what she was feeling. If he was feeling her emotions, she wondered what he even made of them.
She carefully checked on the Dark Lord. He was interested in whatever was happening and he was talking to people again. Plans were in motion. She only wished she knew what those plans were so she could stop him.
"Are you no longer in a fit of pique?" the Dark Lord asked as he approached.
"I don't know what that means," Rachel admitted, reminding herself to be cautious. This would be a good opportunity for her to assess if the Dark Lord had any clue that the horcruxes had been destroyed, but it was far better if he never found out they even knew he had horcruxes.
"It means you seem as though you are no longer sulking."
Rachel bit her lip, remembered that she was working on not doing that, and then decided it didn't matter because it wasn't her real lip. "I won't sulk."
"Good. It's unbecoming. What did you do today?" he asked.
"You don't know? I felt you watching me towards the evening." She had felt him, but only briefly in the Great Hall. She was curious what he would tell her he'd seen. That might be a good baseline if he was actually watching or if he was lying to her.
"I only looked in for a brief moment and I assumed it was not representative of your day. Were you on a date with a romantic partner?"
Rachel felt her brow furrow. Why on earth would he think that? Why would he even care? "No. I don't date. I don't have a romantic partner."
"And why is that? I can't imagine that you're not being asked," he pressed, his expression of pointed curiosity.
"I'm not being asked. According to my friends, some of whom happen to be male, they say that people are afraid of what Severus will do to them if they ask me out."
The Dark Lord laughed, a strangely high pitched echoing sound. "As they should be."
"I don't want to date. It's just not for me," she said, feeling like he shouldn't think that Severus was keeping her from dating.
He resumed looking at her, now thoughtful rather than amused. "I feel similarly, but I expect the causes are entirely different. I have no equal, which as I'm sure you can imagine makes romantic entanglements unsatisfying. You are damaged beyond repair. I think you are wise not to date."
Rachel bristled internally. She wasn't damaged. At least, she didn't think that's where the problem was. She wasn't scared to date or to have sex. She just didn't want to do it. She didn't know why she should want to do it. It was like that piece was just missing for her. And she was okay with that. At least, she thought she was. She didn't want to be damaged and she didn't want people to think that she was. "You've never dated?" she asked, wanting to keep the conversation off of herself.
"I briefly entered relationships twice while I was a student at Hogwarts, but they were very lacking and I avoided those entanglements from then on. I simply did not find it fulfilling and there were many other things I wished to do that were more pressing. Following Hogwarts I did not seek out those relationships and they did not come to me either," he explained, seemingly without a trace of embarrassment.
"Severus says that those relationships simply don't have a place in his life," Rachel said, wondering if it was the same thing for the Dark Lord, or if he was more like her, where he just didn't feel whatever it was that caused people to want those relationships.
"Ah, Severus. He is a complicated man. I don't think he truly ever recovered from your mother's death. He was foolish with his affections and paid the price for it. I can see I do not have to warn you against doing the same." The Dark Lord refocused on her. "What do you know of Dumbledore's relationships?"
Rachel frowned. "I don't know anything. I've never heard of Professor Dumbledore dating. If he does, he keeps it entirely private."
"No, Dumbledore does not date at all, not anymore."
She knew he was waiting for her to ask, so she did so. Better than talking about herself or the war. "Not anymore?"
"You know of Grindelwald, of course. I presume a Hogwarts education hasn't failed you there."
They'd actually never reached the war with Grindelwald in her History class, but Rachel knew the basics. "I know he supported magical superiority and that he wanted to rule over muggles, and that the war was everywhere. And I know Professor Dumbledore defeated him and locked him in Nurmengard." She didn't know where Nurmengard was, but she knew that while it was now a prison, originally it had been Grindelwald's castle and was where he directed the war from.
"But Dumbledore's first meeting with Gellert Grindelwald was not during the war. This was far before then, when Dumbledore first left Hogwarts and went home to his rather pathetic family. Grindelwald was there too, in Godric's Hollow. Your birthplace as well," he said, taking the tone of a professor teaching a lesson.
Rachel waited for a moment and decided to ask. "Are you saying Professor Dumbledore dated Grindelwald? In secret?"
"There was no need to keep it a secret at that point, but very few know of it because they never left Godric's Hollow together. By all reports they were obsessed with each other, and obsessed with obtaining power and the doctrine of magical superiority with the intent to end the Statute of Secrecy and lead wizards to rule over the muggles." He looked at her expectantly.
She supposed Professor Dumbledore had told her himself that he'd held misguided views when he was younger, but that was far more extreme than anything she'd been imagining. "But what happened? Why did Grindelwald go on to start a war while Professor Dumbledore opposed him?"
"As I said, few know of Dumbledore's relationship at all, he undoubtedly knows it would undermine his position if it was revealed. I do not know what happened in Dumbledore's house, only the result. Dumbledore at the time was the sole guardian of his younger sister, by all accounts who was disturbed and confined to the house. Dumbledore's younger brother resided there as well. One day, while Grindelwald was there, there was a duel between the three boys. Dumbledore's sister was killed and Grindelwald fled. Dumbledore left the country soon after to seek an apprenticeship in France. Imagine the fate of the world now if the events of that one evening had not taken place."
Rachel wasn't sure she should believe any of this, but she also wasn't willing to ask Professor Dumbledore. She knew that he stood against Grindelwald and against the Dark Lord and that's all she needed to know. "If you know that would undermine Professor Dumbledore, why haven't you revealed it?"
"Because the only people who can attest to events there who are still alive are Dumbledore, Dumbledore's brother, and Grindelwald. I don't expect anyone to corroborate my story, nor do I expect that anyone would believe it. Do you believe it?" he asked.
"I don't know. It fits with some of the things he's told me, but I wouldn't ever ask him about his relationships, it's rude."
"When you are seeking the truth, you must put aside all else. Don't you want the truth?"
"I don't see that it matters. The past is the past, it can't be changed. As far as I know time turners only work within the space of a week at the most, and usually only twelve hours. Whatever Professor Dumbledore believed then, he doesn't believe now. Did you ever get to meet Grindelwald? Would you have supported him?" she asked, wanting to get away from the subject of Professor Dumbledore's relationships.
"No, Grindelwald was imprisoned the summer of '45, shortly after I finished at Hogwarts. I never had the opportunity to seek him out. While Grindelwald had admirable ideals, and ultimately I believe our visions for the future were similar, he was far too involved with muggles for my tastes. In my vision, the magical world and the muggle world are completely separate. Why should we waste our resources governing muggles?" he asked, seeming to expect an answer.
"I don't think we should govern muggles at all."
"There. Exactly. Muggles have nothing to do with magic, and we have nothing to do with muggles."
Rachel remembered what Severus had told her about the Dark Lord trying to get them to agree on small things that would lead to bigger things. It seemed like that was exactly what he was trying to do here; make her agree they shouldn't govern muggles, and then push for separation of muggles and magical people.
"Ask Dumbledore what he believes and then ask yourself if someone who believed that muggles must be governed with an iron fist, with the motto 'for the greater good', can really change his ways. That's all the time I have for you tonight." He left without waiting for a response.
She opened her eyes back in her dorm and sighed as she rubbed at her arms. Why did this always leave her so cold? It didn't seem that even the Dark Lord had an explanation for that.
This one was going to be tricky to write about. She wasn't going to write down what the Dark Lord had told her about Professor Dumbledore and Grindelwald. That was private and shouldn't be written down anywhere even though her book was keyed to her so that other people couldn't open it. She didn't want to write down that the Dark Lord thought she was damaged.
She decided that she hadn't gotten anything useful from that conversation and that there were no parts that could be used against them. It was better if some things were just left alone. She grabbed her wand and cast a warming charm on her blankets and then snuggled back under them. Now she just had to put all of that out of her head and go back to sleep. She was very much looking forward to the day when she managed to close the connection and no longer had to be woken by disturbing conversations with the Dark Lord.
Rachel's thoughts were already busy when she entered the Great Hall for breakfast on Sunday morning. Sundays were her busy day and she was looking forward to when that wasn't the case. She could hold on for four more months though, assuming the war lasted that long. Hopefully not. She picked up a copy of the Daily Prophet from the end of the table, intending to glance through it, but nearly dropped it instead when she saw the headline.
'Valentine's Day Massacre - Over One Hundred Confirmed Dead in Mixed Castle Combe'
She stopped where she was standing and stared down at the picture. It was of the Dark Mark hanging in the sky over a picturesque village.
"What now?" Theo asked.
Rachel passed the newspaper to him. "I need to go speak with Severus. I'll meet you in the Transfiguration classroom at nine."
Millie looked over Theo's shoulder at the paper. "Did you know someone there?"
"No. I just need to tell him something that I should have written down for him, but didn't, because I didn't think it was important. I'll see you in a little bit," she said before hurrying away.
It seemed pretty clear to her what had happened. The Dark Lord had purposefully spoken with her last night in order to prevent her from having a vision and sending help to stop the massacre. She was irritated at herself for being tricked like that, but until now she'd never even considered it as a possibility. She wasn't sure how they could have prevented that from happening even if she had been aware it was a possibility.
She went back down the corridor to Severus' office, let herself in, and then went through the wall into Severus' quarters. Severus was sitting at the dining table with breakfast, a cup of tea, and the newspaper.
"I presume you saw this already?" he asked.
"I did. I talked with the Dark Lord last night," she said, taking her usual seat.
The corners of Severus' mouth tugged down a little. "I didn't see that you'd written anything down in our books."
"I didn't. Which was stupid of me, but our conversation was personal and I didn't really want to tell everyone about it. What he said wasn't important or I would have written it down anyway, but it wasn't until I saw the newspaper that I realized he had that conversation on purpose so I wouldn't have a vision and send the Order to help. He knows we've been doing that."
"That stands to reason." He looked at her for a long moment. "Do you feel more comfortable disclosing to me what that conversation was about, rather than telling Albus as well?"
It seemed like she was going to have to have this conversation after all. "He wanted to know if I had a romantic partner. And then he wanted to know why I didn't date. He said I was damaged." She glanced at him but couldn't keep her gaze there. She didn't want to see if he thought she was damaged.
"A few things. Did he ask you specifically if you were dating, or did he seem to know?"
She scrunched up her eyes as she tried to remember. "He wanted to know if I had a date for Valentine's Day and what I spent my day doing. I told him that I had felt him watching me for part of the day and told him he should already know what I'd been doing. I was trying to get him to tell me what he'd seen, so I could tell if he was lying about being able to see me."
"It didn't work, I take it. Did he seem to know what you were trying to do?"
"He might have, but he didn't call me on it. He just pressed about me dating and if people were asking me out."
"I should think by now he knows who is close to you. He had enough people watching you in the school to know that. Perhaps he was trying to find out if that changed this year, if he wanted some leverage on you. As for the rest, I do not believe you are damaged," Severus said levelly.
"Really?" she asked, looking at him again. "You're not just saying that?"
"I'm not just saying that. I think you have endured significant traumas and that they still affect you, as the past affects anyone. While I think you still have some healing to do and things to work on so that you struggle less, I do not think damaged is an appropriate descriptor."
"He's implying that I don't date because…because of what they did to me at the hotel. But that's not what it's like."
"What is it like?"
Rachel sighed as she searched for the right words. Somehow 'I just don't want to date' didn't seem like enough. "Theo said that he liked me. Like romantically. But I don't feel the same way about him. I care about him, just like I care about all of my study group. But I don't know how to feel attracted to someone. I don't even know what that feels like."
"You have a close platonic relationship with Theo," he said.
"Yes, platonic. I care about him a lot. He's very important to me. But I don't want to kiss him or anything."
"That's alright. No one is suggesting that you have to. You told Theo this?" he checked.
"Yes. I felt bad. But I think it would have been worse if I had tried to date him. If I had said that I liked him in that way." She couldn't have seen that working out well.
"It is never a good idea to start a relationship with a lie. Theo will manage his feelings for you however he manages them. It doesn't seem to have impacted your friendship, at least from the outside."
"It hasn't, and Theo said upfront that our friendship was what was important to him." She was relieved that things hadn't changed between them. "Torey told me that people who don't feel attraction to other people are called asexual. Like apparently this happens to other people as well, it's not just me."
Severus nodded. "I think there is very little in the human experience that is limited to a single person."
"Well, except my connection to the Dark Lord. That seems to be just us."
"There is that," he agreed. "However, I think you should also give yourself time. You've only met a small number of people in your life, it's possible that once you are out in the world you will meet someone you are attracted to. I think another thing to consider is that you've spent your adolescence under extreme stress and that might have an effect on whether or not you experience attraction."
"It can?"
"I experienced it myself while I was with the Death Eaters during the years that I was a spy. I had no desires in that regard and no experiences of attraction during that time whatsoever. It took until a few years after the war before I slowly returned to somewhat of a more natural state of being." He looked at her, his expression somber. "If you are asexual, that is fine. I'm not saying that you're not. But I also want you to be aware of the possibility that your experience of these things may change as you grow older and are in different situations."
Rachel thought that was hypothetically okay. She wouldn't live enough to find out, but she was okay with the idea that her experiences as a teenager wouldn't have necessarily been the same as her experiences as an adult.
"Can we make an agreement?" he asked.
"What's that?"
"If a conversation is too personal for you to want Albus to read, can you tell me the very broad subject matter so we can determine if there is anything relevant to the war or otherwise important in the conversation?"
"Yes. I can do that." She wasn't going to share what she'd learned about Professor Dumbledore with anyone, not even Severus. She wasn't even sure it was true, but she also didn't want to bring up painful things for Professor Dumbledore. "We need to talk about ending the war and we need to talk about closing my connection. Because, otherwise, things like this massacre are going to keep happening."
"I had intended to talk with Albus today about the future of the war. I want to discuss with him his plans before I bring you into the equation. We will not be moving forward until we have a satisfactory plan that isn't going to get us all killed. As it stands now, I'm waiting to hear if we have an Order meeting today," he said, his expression now grim.
Rachel could definitely agree they needed a plan that wasn't going to get all of them killed. She just wasn't sure how to do that. "I have a hard time thinking of something that's going to work. Everything I come up with we just get surrounded by Death Eaters or the Dark Lord apparates away because he feels threatened. And there's the snake to think about too."
"Let Albus and I handle the planning at this stage. Albus has experience in strategy and I will be there to poke holes in his plan to ensure we are considering the matter from the Death Eater perspective. As for closing your connection, I would very much like for us to do that, but I'm not sure why you have suddenly decided that it is possible. Can you tell me what has changed? A sense of something perhaps, that you're getting from the connection?"
"I think it's more just that I felt the connection was useful before, but after being forced to watch my aunt and uncle get tortured and murdered and then having to talk with the Dark Lord afterward, I just want it gone. I mean…I know we've saved lives with it," she said, feeling a wave of guilt wash over her.
Severus shook her head. "Perhaps, but I have seen how much suffering this connection has brought you over the past three years. If we can close it, we should. Especially now that we know for certain that the Dark Lord can manipulate what you do and do not see. Any opportunity that we saw now for saving lives would undoubtedly be a trap. There is something else we need to consider that perhaps we can talk more in depth about tonight."
"What's that?"
"I think we have rather conclusively shown that we can't access your connection while your manifestation is in place. To close your connection, you will need to be able to approach your manifestation," he said, watching her closely.
Rachel sighed again. "I know. I'm not sure what to do about that yet."
"We will discuss it more tonight. Have you had breakfast?" he asked.
"Not yet. Can I eat here?" she asked, not wanting to drag herself up to the Great Hall while she felt all mixed together.
"Of course. What would you like?"
"Eggs, toast, and pumpkin juice. Then I need to be on my way, I've got an animagus training session at nine." She needed to get herself together enough to focus by then.
"How is that going?" he asked as he moved to go to the fireplace.
"Don't know yet. I'm trying, but Professor McGonagall said it might take a few months before we can change into our forms again. I really like my form. I was worried I wouldn't."
"From what I understand of how the animagus process works, I doubt there are many people, if anyone, who get a form they are truly uncomfortable with. I look forward to seeing you in your form, but you have plenty of time," he said.
Not really. She had less than four months, maybe much less than that if they could act against the Dark Lord sooner. She supposed she'd just have to do her best with the time she had left.
Rachel was crouched down behind a shop in the narrow place between buildings. Theo was by her side. Draco was across from her. She held up her hand with her palm flat and then pointed to her eyes and then to the alley. Draco nodded and raised his wand, ready to cast if someone cast a spell at her. Theo shifted slightly, ready to pull her back if need be.
As carefully as she could, Rachel peered out into the alley. Kingsley had made it look like Diagon Alley and it was almost right even though it was only big enough to include three shops on either side of the branching alley. Rachel wondered if Tonks had told Kingsley they'd been on a mission in Diagon Alley, or if Kingsley had decided this was somewhere they might need to fight.
There weren't any signs of movement in the direction she was looking so she scooted back in, shook her head, and then motioned to Draco to check in the other direction. Theo scooted across the small space and Rachel turned so that she was ready to cast spells in the direction Draco would be looking.
Draco nodded once and Rachel shifted again so she could aim around the empty planters in front of the shop.
She shielded reflexively as a golden light flashed in their direction and Draco and Theo cast the training spell back. Staying down she then cast the training spell at the hint of red hair she could see, though from here she couldn't tell if it was Ron or Ginny. They shielded and then retreated and the spell fire stopped.
Rachel, Theo, and Draco retreated back into their cubby hole as well and Theo cast a privacy ward so they could speak without being overheard.
"So we know where Ron, Hermione, and Millie are. No sign of Neville, Ginny, and Luna. Or Tonks and Kingsley, and they're the dangerous ones," Theo said.
"Neville and the others should be back that way, we drove them back there twenty minutes ago and haven't seen them since," Draco said, nodding in the opposite direction of where they'd been casting spells.
"The real thing to figure out is how to get out of here," Rachel said. They were pretending to be under anti-apparition wards. Well, they really were under anti-apparition wards, but they were pretending that Diagon Alley was under anti-apparition wards. Even though it was just practice, she disliked being trapped. She'd been experiencing the squeezing feeling of claustrophobia for nearly ten minutes now and she wasn't sure how long she could hold it off.
"I'm not sure we're supposed to," Theo said, his expression caught between a frown and the thoughtfulness she usually saw when he was pondering an essay or assignment.
"What do you mean? Kingsley told us to get back to the door," Draco asked.
"But maybe that's not the lesson," Theo said.
"The lesson is don't get trapped?" Rachel asked. She would have thought they would have learned that lesson by now, but considering where they were, maybe they hadn't.
"I think the lesson is bide your time and the Death Eaters will be forced to come to you. Escape might look like an attractive option, but if you can stay put, you might gain the advantage," Theo said.
"We don't have an advantage here. There's no cover," Draco pointed out.
"There's no cover if they came at us straight on, but we're watching both sides. They'd have to approach from the sides and we can see them if they did," Theo said.
"Unless they're using the Disillusionment charm," Rachel said. "I know they tell us not to use it in combat, but here it would be really good."
"We're idiots," Draco said abruptly.
Theo nodded. "Actually we are and I was wrong. The lesson isn't to stay put, it's to think outside of the box. Come on, Disillusionment charms and Muffling charms and lets get the hell out of here."
Rachel was relieved as Theo ended the privacy ward and they all disillusioned themselves. Even if the lesson was to stay in cover, she was ready to leave. She cast the muffling charm and then carefully made her way out into the alley and crept along what seemed like a very long way but wasn't actually that far and made it to the door. She ended both spells and leaned against the wall next to the door.
Theo and Draco reappeared and settled on either side of her, Draco with a slightly smug smile that they'd figured it out.
She felt very done for the day. She'd had animagus practice. She wasn't sure she was actually getting closer to achieving her animal form but it had been only six weeks since she'd taken the potion. Professor McGonagall had said it would take more practice than that and that they were doing well.
Then she'd had lunch, followed by Quidditch practice. Viola was learning quickly and Rachel was finally teaching her diving recklessly because she had seen that Viola could pull herself out of a spiral if she needed to. Rachel felt confident that Viola was ready to take the Seeker position next year. Penelope still needed some more work, but she was coming along and she had a strong Chaser team to support her as she learned. The Slytherin team was in a good position to take the Quidditch Cup this year and Quidditch was so far down on Rachel's list of worries that it wasn't really a worry at all.
After Quidditch practice Neville had led a short Herbology NEWT study session and then they'd come here for Defense training. After this she had dinner with Severus and hopefully they would begin to sort out closing her connection afterward. She didn't know what they were going to do about her manifestation. She hoped Severus had some ideas, but she suspected she wouldn't like them. After that was an Arithmancy study session with Pansy and Daphne, then rune memorization, and then she could sleep. She was looking forward to that part. With the Dark Lord having visited her last night and now doubting she was going to have a vision so soon after the latest attack, she was going to take her modified Dreamless Sleep potion and get a solid eight hours of undisturbed sleep.
"Alright, gather up," Kingsley called, coming down the alley.
The other trios popped out of their hiding places and looked surprised to see Rachel, Theo, and Draco approaching from the doorway.
"How did you get there? We should have seen you go past us," Millie asked.
"Disillusionment charm," Draco said, still looking a little smug.
"But you told us not to use the Disillusionment charm in battles, it's not safe," Hermione protested.
"Under most circumstances, I wouldn't recommend it," Kingsley said, looking over all of them. "But in this situation that was a good thing to do. There are no hard and fast rules for every situation. You've got to take things as they come and make that assessment every time you're in battle. What is a good strategy in one situation will get you killed in another."
"No one was moving. The way we were set up, anyone who came out into the alley was at an immediate disadvantage, so everyone was just as stuck as we were," Theo said.
Tonks nodded. "You saw a weakness of the battlefield and used it to your advantage. Everywhere you go is going to have things like that. Inside houses are tricky because if it's not your house, you don't know where all the fallback places are and the blind corners. While you're still in Hogwarts, you have a good advantage. Once you're out in the world, that changes a little bit. You're not given a lot of time to assess an area, but it's important that you defend yourself and then take a look around to see where you can press your advantage."
"We'll mix it up next time, but that's all for now," Kingsley said, nodding once.
"Can I ask a question?" Ron asked.
"Ask."
"What happened in Castle Combe? Why was no one there?"
Kingsley and Tonks both immediately looked grim. "It was a massive attack. Fiendfyre was used. The MLE wasn't alerted to the attack until it had been going on for about twenty minutes and they were fielding at least thirty Death Eaters. You can kill a lot of people in that time if you aren't picky about who you kill."
"Were they just killing anyone they could find? They weren't targeting someone specific?" Hermione asked, her expression now fearful.
"Hard to say. They could have been targeting someone and using the mass attack to hide it. Based on what we saw-" Tonks paused for a moment, her eyes distant for a moment. "Given the way things were laid out, they seemed to have multiple attack points and were working toward the center of the village, killing anyone they could along the way."
"Do you think it's going to happen again?" Ginny asked. "Was it just because it was a mixed magical and muggle community?"
"We assume it was because it was mixed, though, like we said, there could have been someone specific there that they wanted," Kingsley said. "As to if it will happen again, I can't say. Better men than me have tried to anticipate what You-Know-Who will do next and we've all failed."
Rachel felt she didn't need to anticipate what the Dark Lord would do. It was simple. He would continue to kill and torture people until he got what he wanted. As to who he would kill and torture, that was anyone's guess. He seemed to have targeted groups, but sometimes he also just seemed to kill at random. She understood the need to have a plan to approach the Dark Lord, but she was also keenly aware that every day they delayed meant more death and suffering.
"Is there anything we can do?" Neville asked, looking tired and defeated. Neville had been looking like he'd been spending a lot of sleepless nights these past three weeks. Rachel wished she knew how to help other than just being there for him.
"You're doing what you need to do. You're preparing yourselves. I think you're all in good shape to join the Order once you finish at Hogwarts, assuming that's what you want to do. The best thing you can do is be prepared to defend yourselves and you're all getting there," Tonks said.
"You are, you've all improved a great deal and we'll keep working on it over the next four months. Keep an eye out for anything odd, tell us or Severus if something seems off, but otherwise, just continue to train and practice," Kingsley told them.
"Do you really think we could face Death Eaters now?" Millie asked.
Rachel had a vested interest in that question as well.
"Under the right circumstances, I don't see why not. We're going to continue training as we are for another three months and then spend the last month on spells that you will use in combat. We won't be casting those at each other, but we'll drill them so they come easily to you. I don't want any of you seeking out Death Eaters, but you should all be in a position where you can fight back and safely escape if the battle comes to you," Kingsley said.
That was good to hear. Rachel thought back to the battle in the first floor corridor and what she would have changed about that. "What about darkness? When they attacked us, they used something to make it dark. We were worried about drawing their attention to us if we used a light."
"Probably Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder. That's a banned import these days," Tonks said.
"But good luck keeping it off the market. The good thing is that it's just as debilitating to them as it is to you, but you're right not to light your wands when that happens, that makes you an easy target. We can work on it, but in general, my suggestion would be to get down. Most people will want to cast at chest level, that's what we're all trained to do."
"I saw a candle once that only shows light for the person holding it. Obviously it isn't practical for carrying around everywhere, but if you're planning to use the Darkness Powder, it would be good to have that," Draco said.
"The Hand of Glory, a wanted dark artifact. I presume you saw this in the possession of the Death Eaters?" Kingsley asked.
"In a shop, actually. Borgin and Burkes," Draco said. "It was five years ago, so they might have sold it by now."
"Interesting. We might need to drop by there," Tonks said.
Kingsely nodded. "Might be worth a look. They usually know better than to display dark artifacts in plain sight, but the right inquiry might get them to sell. Anyway, we'll work on the darkness thing. Might not happen again, but good to be prepared in case it does. We're done for the day."
"Thank you," Rachel said, quickly echoed by her friends.
They left the Room of Requirement together, each of them picking up their school bags at the door on their way out.
"We have enough time for a Potions review before dinner. Rachel or Draco, do you want to lead that?" Hermione asked.
"Sure, I can do it," Draco said.
Rachel smiled to herself. Draco had been joining them more again for study sessions now that they were getting closer to their NEWTs. It was good to have him with them.
Severus checked the clock on the mantel as he finished grading another set of essays. He was finally caught up for the week on grading, his prefects were all seen to, his House was quiet, and Rachel seemed to be managing herself alright for the most part. If it wasn't for the war he might actually have a peaceful evening, but as it was, he still had things to do tonight.
He had tried to contact Albus by floo several times today but given that he wasn't in his office, Severus assumed he was with the Ministry trying to prevent things from spiraling into chaos. Given that no Order meeting had been called today there was likely no new information to be given or changes made to their general operations. Severus set aside the stacks of essays and went to the fireplace, tossing in a handful of floo powder. "Headmaster's office. Albus, are you available?"
"Please come through," Albus called back.
Severus flooed into Albus' office and found Albus standing at a window with Fawkes resting on his shoulder. Hesitating, Severus watched him for a long moment. Night had nearly fallen and the room was silent except for the quiet crackling of the fire. Outside the window the grounds were coated with a layer of snow. The trees at the edge of the Forbidden Forest stood sentinel and the gates were in shadow in the distance.
"Rufus, Amelia, and I went to Castle Combe this morning," Albus said, still looking out the window.
He paused over the words that rose by instinct and then decided to say them anyway. "Was that wise? He could have been waiting to see who showed up."
"No, it was not wise. But it was necessary."
Severus thought it was foolish. They all knew what a massacre looked like. Neither Scrimgeour or Bones were strangers to battles. Scrimgeour and Bones had fought in the last war, and Albus had fought in the war with Grindelwald. It was different, he knew, to see civilians slaughtered, but they'd seen plenty of that in the last war as well. "Did you gain anything from the experience?"
"Rufus and Ameila's agreement that the time to act is now before it is too late." Albus finally turned to face Severus.
Severus thought that Albus looked his full hundred and sixteen years today. "I wasn't aware that they needed convincing? I thought the Ministry and the MLE were with us."
"They were and they are still. Our aims are the same: stop the Death Eaters and kill Voldemort. I sat with Rufus and Amelia and explained the full prophecy and Rachel's role in it. Neither were pleased, but they both accept what is to come and will defer to me in terms of planning the final confrontation. We now have the full MLE at our disposal."
In another time Severus might have been chilled at the way Albus had chosen to consolidate power. At the moment he was only glad that Rachel would have the support of the MLE for what was to come. "Do we have a plan?"
"Come, sit. Tea?" Albus asked, pausing to allow Fawkes to move from his shoulder to the perch.
"Not for me," Severus said. He took a seat and waited while Albus walked stiffly across the room.
Albus sat and adjusted his robes. "I have the beginnings of a plan. We have three primary goals. The first is the death of Voldemort. The second is the death of the snake Nagini. The third is the preservation of as much life as possible. I expect all to be difficult to accomplish."
"How will we ensure he brings the snake?" Severus asked, since the snake would be a large impediment to their plans.
"From what I am told he is inseparable from the snake. I have been going back through the reports and every sighting we have of Voldemort within the past twelve months includes a sighting of the snake. Likely he believes that while his other horcruxes are safe, he is not risking being separated from this one. He will bring the snake."
"And his Death Eaters."
"If he suspects a trap, yes, he will bring his Death Eaters. I think we can assume he will expect this to be a trap," Albus agreed. "And we will bring the Order and the MLE."
"We are outnumbered," he pointed out, perhaps needlessly.
"That is a good thing. We want Voldemort to stay. If he feels threatened, he will retreat. We want him to view this the same way we do: a final battle, to all spoils go the victor."
Severus dismissed that. There was no point speculating on what would happen if they lost. Severus knew he wouldn't survive that battle if they were on the losing side and there was still a good chance he wouldn't survive the battle if they were the victors. "Where?"
"Kingsley and I are assessing places for cover and for somewhere we can do this without any civilian casualties. We will pick a primary location and two back ups and prepare all three of them, that way no one will know where we're going until it's time," Albus explained, nodding slightly. "Rachel and myself-"
"And me. I will not be separated from her during this." That was something he would not bend on.
"You may wish to discuss that with Rachel. I believe she fears losing you."
The feeling was mutual. "I will speak with her."
"Regardless, we will be present in a central location, as I believe Voldemort will want to deal with us directly. The Order and the MLE will be hidden by a spell that I am still devising. They will rise up to prevent the Death Eaters from converging on us. I will give six of our best target casters the task of killing the snake in hopes that one of them will live long enough to accomplish that goal. I will engage Voldemort, you will protect Rachel, and Rachel will cast the killing blow. Have you had any success with her at the Killing Curse?"
"No. I will work on it with her again, but I am starting to believe she simply doesn't have the emotional capability to cast it. She spent her entire childhood cutting off her negative emotions. She does not seem to be able to consciously call forth anger or hatred, or even to acknowledge that she experiences such things," Severus admitted, though he disliked giving out this sort of personal information about Rachel.
"That is unfortunate. Is there something more I can do to help with Rachel? Additional support? Something she needs?" Albus asked.
"In this regard, no. She does wish to speak with you in the near future. I believe she is apprehensive about her role in this."
"I will speak with her and give what assurances I can. I will not lie, I believe this will be a harrowing experience for us all."
Severus fully believed that as well. War was never entered lightly. "I believe talking her through what will happen and what she is to do if various situations occur will help. I will do the same, but I think hearing it from you will help her to feel she has more control."
"I will do so then. What about other lethal spells and curses?"
"I have taught her a number of them. I'll take her from the school for a brief period next Saturday and work on them with her again until she feels she can cast them easily. I will have her try the Killing Curse again, just to see if we've made any progress."
"Good. Please let me know if you believe she would benefit from additional mentoring. Tonks and Kingsley are both pleased at her growing abilities with them. They say she seems more self confident when casting and is no longer freezing when in combat," Albus said.
That was good to know. Severus hoped it would hold true in actual combat. "How are we planning to lure the Dark Lord to one of these locations?"
"I had hoped for Rachel to be able to tell Voldemort directly where she would meet him. Voldemort will know it's a trap, but he will also not resist coming when she's out of the wards. Presuming he can check her direction as she can with him, he should be able to verify that she is in another location before he comes."
"You're aware that Rachel is intent on closing her connection to the Dark Lord?" he checked.
"I am aware. If she does so, she can send a Patronus message to him rather than tell him directly. How likely is it that Rachel will be able to close her connection, in your estimation?" Albus asked, looking thoughtful.
Truthfully, Severus did not think it was very likely, but Rachel did seem to have a certain sense of her connection and had been correct about many things regarding it that they couldn't substantiate at the time. "It's too soon to tell. Rachel will need to contend with her manifestation and I am not certain she's ready to do that."
"I'm afraid I do not fully understand what the problem there is. Why is Rachel having such trouble with her manifestation?"
"You have seen her manifestation, correct?"
"Yes, I have. The reality of it was sobering. To read and to know what Rachel experienced is one thing, to see the effect on the child herself is quite another. I regret my mistakes, Severus. Please never believe that I don't," Albus said, bowing his head.
Severus nodded slightly. "Her manifestation's form is a difficult reminder for Rachel. She does not respond well to her manifestation, and in turn her manifestation feels threatened by Rachel. I think it may take longer than the war will last for Rachel to face this successfully."
"I wish I better knew how to help her."
Severus wished that as well. He suspected that the biggest help for this sort of thing was time and perspective and support. Of those, he could only give her support.
"I will have more details on this plan as it comes together. I will want to take you out to the sites as well for your perspective. Once I have my spell crafted I will show you the notes and you can make whatever improvements you see fit. Please let me know when Rachel is ready to discuss her role. For the time being, ask her to continue delaying Voldemort as she has been," Albus directed.
Severus expected that was going to be as good as he was going to get for the time being. Once they had more specifics he could make better critiques, though he didn't know what Albus thought he could do to improve a spell that Albus had invented. Of the two of them, Albus was the better spellcrafter. "I will tell her. Is there anything you need from me?"
"Not at this time. I expect to convene your section of the Order next weekend as we begin to discuss the endgame. I had intended to do so today, but I ran out of time. Keep your Sunday morning free. I should have more for you by then," Albus said as he stood.
Severus stood as well. "I will."
"Is there anything I should know within the school or within your House?"
"No, things are currently at an equilibrium," Severus reported, glad that was the case. "I will speak with you later this week."
Albus nodded and moved to his desk where there were stacks of parchment waiting.
Severus flooed back to his quarters and stood and looked around for a long moment. The end of the war was coming. It was his task to make sure he and Rachel were prepared to meet it.
"We're working on closing my connection tonight, right?" Rachel asked as she finished her dinner.
"We can begin, yes, but we should talk first," Severus said, setting down his fork.
"Like to have a plan?" she checked. She was growing a little wary of Severus saying they needed to talk.
"To discuss the possibilities, yes, but we must also discuss your manifestation."
"I'm not sure what there is to say."
"Let's discuss it. Are you finished eating? Do you want dessert?" he asked.
"I'm done, no dessert," she said, standing up. She went to the sofa and waited while Severus took a seat in his armchair. He looked pensive and almost uncertain. She didn't feel that was a good sign.
"To begin with, I spoke with Albus today and we have the beginnings of a plan for dealing with the Dark Lord. We now have the MLE at our disposal for this battle. Albus will give us more information when he has firmer details, I anticipate more being revealed at the Order meeting next weekend. Albus is willing to discuss your role in this plan with you once he has firmer details. You and I will work on lethal spells next Saturday and perhaps extend those lessons if necessary until you're comfortable with them. For the time being, Albus instructs that you continue to distract the Dark Lord in your conversations as you have been doing. Once everything is in place, we will have you instruct him where to meet you," Severus explained.
"How soon?" she asked, wanting a timeline.
"Albus has a few things to do to finish preparations. Perhaps within a month, likely no longer than two or three."
Rachel hoped it was closer to a month. They couldn't let this keep happening. "Is there anything I should know right now?"
"Only that you will have all of us with you. We will protect you. The only thing you have to do is strike the killing blow. Albus and I will take care of the rest and six people will have the specific mission of killing the snake."
She had not wanted Severus to watch her die, but she wasn't sure how to tell him that she didn't want him there. She also didn't want to watch him die. "Okay."
"Is there anything else you want to know on this subject right now?" he asked.
"I can wait until the plan is fully in place. Though, won't the Dark Lord know it's a trap if I ask him to go somewhere?"
"He will, and he'll come anyway. The chance of discovering all of us outside of the wards is worth any risk. He knows he will not get a better opportunity to kill us. Same thing with the snake; Albus is confident that the Dark Lord will bring the snake because they have not parted company in over a year."
She supposed that was that then. If they were both certain, then she guessed it was true. She just knew that she would not be so eager to enter what she knew was a trap, but she also knew that she and the Dark Lord approached things very differently.
"Are you ready to talk about your manifestation and your connection?"
"I'm not sure what to say about it. I know we have to deal with my manifestation in order to close the connection, but I don't know how to do that without her kicking me out of my mind," Rachel admitted. If Severus hadn't warned her against it, she'd simply have tried shutting that cupboard door again regardless of what it did to her mind.
"We should discuss your manifestation and your reaction to your manifestation. I don't wish to hurt you with this conversation, but I don't know how else to proceed," Severus said, his mouth fixed in a worried frown.
"You aren't going to hurt me," she said. "I know what my manifestation looks like."
"It's not just what your manifestation looks like, it's what she represents to you and your response to that. I know you dislike discussing your childhood with me-"
"It's not you, I dislike discussing my childhood with anyone." She more than disliked it. She hated the way it made her feel, especially because she didn't fully understand those feelings. She felt guilty, and ashamed, and fearful of what people thought of her because of it. There was more than that too, but those were the ones she could at least identify.
"I understand. I also dislike discussing my past. When I think about it, or when I talk to someone about it, I feel anger and shame and guilt," he said, a little haltingly.
Rachel was surprised, but perhaps she shouldn't have been. "Does everyone feel those things?"
"I think when it comes to these matters, yes. I think that's a common feeling. Over the years I've assisted a number of students who had come from abusive backgrounds and the fear and shame and the reluctance to talk about it was very common."
"You've helped people, like you helped me, and Theo, and Malcolm?" she asked. She felt like she was caught between feeling this happened in a lot of families and then surprised when she learned that there were other people feeling and experiencing the same things she was.
Severus nodded. "Not quite in as dire situations as the three of you, but yes. I've been involved in Family Services interventions for eight students, not counting the three of you and Draco."
"Do you think Draco's parents were abusing him?" she asked. She wasn't sure what to believe about that.
"No, I don't. I think they were strict with him and perhaps put too much pressure on him to achieve things and succeed, but I don't believe they were physically or magically abusing him. Has Draco said something to you that suggests that?"
Rachel shook her head. "I'm just not sure what to think about it. I guess I feel like his father couldn't really have loved him if he tried to kill him."
"I think Lucius does love Draco, but he also panicked. Lucius knew it was very likely he and his family would be tortured and killed due to Draco's betrayal. He was trying to salvage the situation, to keep himself and Narcissa alive by proving his loyalty to the Dark Lord. If he'd had a moment to think, he wouldn't have used a lethal curse," Severus said.
She still couldn't imagine killing her child to save her own life. She would want to be dead first.
"Can we talk about your manifestation?" he asked again.
"I don't know what to say."
"How about how you feel about her?" he prompted.
Rachel looked away. "What does it matter how I feel about her?" she finally asked.
"Because how you feel about her is influencing her reaction to you and your reaction to her. She won't let you get close to her because she views you as a threat. Do you recall saying that you hate her?"
She pressed her lips together. "Yes."
"Do you hate her?"
Rachel slowly exhaled. "I hate the way she makes me feel. I hate seeing her."
"Do you have any insights into why you feel this way?"
Her immediate impulse was to say no, but she held off as she thought for what seemed like a long time. "She's helpless. I was helpless. I couldn't do anything. I don't want to be helpless anymore. I don't want to let people hurt me. And when I see her, I feel like that again, because she's still helpless and silent and I don't know how to fix that."
Severus was quiet for a long moment as well. "You are right. There was nothing you could have done as a child to improve your situation. You could not physically defend yourself and you were within their control and purview. Even while you were young at Hogwarts, you were not able to defend yourself yet because the people around you had more experience and authority. I did my best to protect you, but I know there are times when I failed at that. You are not helpless anymore. You are a skilled and powerful witch with staunch defenders at your side. You still have skills to acquire and more practice to do, but your abilities have improved a great deal over the past few years. Albus told me himself that Shacklebolt and Tonks have said that you are no longer freezing in combat situations. Do you feel better prepared to defend yourself should the need arise?"
"For the most part. I'm still afraid the Death Eaters are more skilled than I am. And the Dark Lord definitely has abilities I don't have."
"For the most part the Death Eaters are not more skilled than you. They gain the advantage using superior numbers and their willingness to use the Killing Curse. The Death Eaters have more experience in combat situations, but as long as you are not overwhelmed by numbers I believe you are prepared to meet Death Eaters. Have Shacklebolt or Tonks said similarly to you?" he asked.
Rachel nodded. "We're continuing defense work for a few months and then combat spells for the last month." She wasn't sure she was going to even be there for that, but that was okay. Actually, now that she thought about it, chances were really good she wasn't going to meet with the Death Eaters before she met with the Dark Lord.
"Good. Hopefully none of this will be necessary, but you have the skills in case you need to call on them. I think your manifestation is also less helpless than you believe. She has been defending your mind at the point of your connection for years now. She seems to be effective, despite her inability to speak. Even when you could not speak, it did not diminish you. You were still able to do the things you needed to do. Had you not been able to speak at all, we would have worked on casting non-verbally so you could still do your classes and learn. You are not diminished by what was done to you. It was not your fault. Just as it was not your manifestation's fault. You are innocent in this."
She looked down at her hands and carefully drew her fingernails along her skin. "I know that," she said finally. "I know it wasn't my manifestation's fault. She probably didn't even exist for most of it. But…"
"But?" he prompted when she didn't continue.
"But I just get really angry when I see her. I feel like I'm not her anymore. And I don't like being reminded of what I was."
"She is a part of you, just like your past is a part of you. It is not the whole of you or even a majority part, but you came from that child. Her experiences are yours. Her memories are yours. She came to defend you, despite the pain you were going through. She is protecting you from the Dark Lord. I believe without her your mind would have been invaded long since."
Rachel bit back that she wasn't doing a very good job. Maybe the Dark Lord wasn't reading her mind, but he was still sending her visions of torture and murder and coming to taunt her in her own dreams. "I don't know how to change my feelings about this."
"I think it will take time and work. It's something that I think it would be wise to also talk to Torey about, but we will discuss it further too. Would you like to visit your manifestation tonight and see how you feel?" he asked.
She really didn't, but if these were the steps to closing her connection then she would do it. Closing her connection took priority over how she felt about her manifestation. "Alright."
"Remember, today we are just there to look. I want you to have a non-confrontational experience with your manifestation. You're allowed to feel however you feel, but you cannot take it out on her," he cautioned.
Rachel nodded. She didn't want to hurt anyone, even her manifestation. "Okay. I'll meet you at my doors."
"I'll see you there."
