I came back from a quick hunt with Rosalie on Sunday. Edward and I had spent the entire Saturday in our meadow and Edward had wanted to return Sunday morning to prepare a surprise for me.

Rosalie had successfully distracted me for a while. But now that we had returned and I found that Edward was not home I started to miss him.

The house was empty without him in it. Devoid of life. I could hear Rosalie and Emmetts quiet conversation. But it was not my place to insert myself just because sudden loneliness overcame me. They were mates. I could not bother them all the time just because Edward was not there. Or because I was feeling forlorn. Or afraid.

Panic rose in me. I tried to quell it as best I could. I knew it was irrational. I knew Edward would not just leave. It was not like him. He had never been fickle. I trusted him to always return to me. If he could.

I knew he was essentially indestructible. And yet I worried when I could not see him alive and well at my side. I needed him with me. I needed to know that he was fine.

My mind was racing.

I was lost in my own thoughts.

What if he had left? No, he would never do that. He could never just leave. He was bound to me. By love. By honor. By vow.

I tried to take deep breaths. Calm myself. But it didn't help.

My hands were trembling and I found it increasingly difficult to breathe.

He would never just leave. And he had told me that he was preparing a surprise for me. I was trying to convince myself that he was simply out to arrange his surprise for me.

Unless… Unless he wasn't.

What if he had been hurt? What if he had been killed? He could have crossed the way of another vampire. Or the Quileute wolves could have killed him. He had said that they hate him specifically. What if I was once again left alone in this world?

I suddenly felt so very alone. Even though vampires do not feel cold, I did tremble from the sudden chill that encased me. I curled up against the door of Edwards room. His scent was still in the air. Permeating it. Lingered. It had soaked into the materials of the house. The walls. The fabric on the bed. The leather of the sofa. Everything smelled of him.

It was both a comfort and made me feel even more alone.

Because he was not there.

It was only his ghost lingering in the house. His scent was a memory. How long would the room smell of him if he never returned? Weeks? Months? More likely years.

But that would not bring him back. It was only the memory of him.

I curled into a tighter ball. Hugged my legs to my chest as well as I could considering my protruding belly. And suddenly I knew what had happened. Edward must have understood what my pregnancy truly meant for him. He must have understood that he would never see the life that had grown in me. He must have realized that he would forever be tortured by the sight of my swollen body without ever holding his son or daughter in his hands.

He must be out in the woods. Alone. Suffering. Mourning.

I was suddenly sure of it.

And a new wave of panic rippled through me at the thought of him out there where I could not comfort him. Where he would torture himself alone.

A choked sob escaped me at the thought.

I tried to calm down. I needed to calm down. I needed to get up. I needed to find him. I needed to be there for him. I needed to know that he was alright.

But the harder I tried to calm myself the more panicked I got.

I could feel a soft hand on my shoulder. But when I breathed in I knew it was not Edward. This scent was different. It was roses and powder. Not sunshine and honey. There was quiet murmuring but I could not understand the words. I heard what was being said, I just could not process the meaning.

"Ed- Ed- Edward." I sobbed. Over and over again. "Edward."

I wanted the other person to understand. They needed to help him. They needed to get to him. I was too far gone to help him at the moment. I knew that. But he needed help. He should not be alone in his grief.

He should never be alone.

"Bella!"

I whimpered and tightened my arms around myself. He was here. It was his voice. He sounded panicked. Concern was evident in his voice. He came back. He came back!

"Bella."

I could feel another set of hands around my body. And this time it was Edward. I could smell him. Fresh. Undiluted. Intoxicating.

"Love, look at me. Please." he sounded scared now. "Bella."

I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to loosen the grip I had around my legs and instead take him in my arms. But I could not bring myself to move. My body no longer worked for me. It was locked.

"Bella, look at me." Edward was begging me.

And somehow I managed to do as he asked me. His frightened bright golden eyes met mine. We stared at each other for what felt like forever. I could not turn. I could not blink. I was caught in his gaze. Trying to process what had happened.

My mind was still in disorder. But I slowly arranged all the thoughts that had thrown me into panic.

I had not realized that I had held Edwards shirt so tightly that it had ripped and I consciously loosened my grip on it.

"Bella, love, are you alright?" he asked me.

I nodded silently and wound my arm around his neck and wrapped my legs around his hips to pull myself closer to him.

Edward just held me. Stroking my hair in comfort. Kissing my head tenderly.

"Will you tell me about it?"

I shook my head. No.

He sighed. "Bella, what did you promise me in our meadow just last weekend?"

"To never keep something like that from you again just to protect you from pain." I said quietly.

"Exactly." he said softly. "And what are you doing right now?"

"Keeping something from you to protect myself?" my answer sounded more like a question.

Edward sighed again but chuckled. "Will you please tell me, love?"

"I missed you." I said quietly and pulled away to look into his eyes, while stroking his cheek.

He furrowed his brows.

I sighed heavily. "I was panicking because you were not there and I was afraid you had somehow left me alone again. That you had left or were injured or killed. I was afraid that I was once again alone in this world. And then I persuaded myself that you must have been overcome by grief because-"

Edward gently pressed his hand over my mouth. "The family is here." he reminded me before dropping his hand.

I nodded and took a stabilizing breath. "I thought you would grieve alone in the forest and I suddenly panicked because I wanted to get to you and help you but I was already so afraid that I could not move. And that's when I spiraled."

"I am fine. I am not alone in the woods. And I am here, love." he assured me. "I was just making arrangements for tonight when Rosalie called me and said you were having a panic attack. At no point was I in any danger."

I nodded.

"Bella, I have to apologize for what I did. Not only for leaving just now but especially for forsaking you in 1918. I should have insisted that Carlisle changed you as well. Instead I was so focused on fighting the animalistic monster within me to realize how much my absence hurt you. I drove you into suicide. I caused you so much hurt with my inaction." He lowered his eyes. "I know you blame Carlisle for taking me from you, but I am the one you should be angry at. I should have come back for you the moment I woke from my change. I am so very sorry for all the hurt I caused you. I am so sorry for the trust I broke. I am so sorry for everything I didn't do. While I tried to fight the vampire in me I have become an even worse monster. One that hurt you so bad."

"Edward, you are no monster!" I protested. "It is astonishing you could think of me at all when you first woke up. It must have been very difficult for you. You not only fought the blood crazed instincts but you also learned to deal with the mental voices of all those around you. I'm sure most would have lost their mind. But you stayed strong and could focus on your memories of me. That was astounding. Do not blame yourself for not thinking straight in those beginning months. I don't."

"But I do. And I will never be able to forgive myself for damaging you. I am sorry, Bella."

"Will you atleast try for me?"

"Try what?" he asked.

"Will you try to forgive yourself? For me?" I stroked his cheek. "You have done nothing wrong and you cannot measure your decisions at the time by your normal standard. Would you fault a person for any inactions while they lie in fever?"

"They are not clear minded. So, no." Edward shook his head. "But I was of a clear mind most of the time."

"No, Edward, you might think so, but you dealt with so many new impressions. Every newborn does. It is overwhelming." I moved my hand to brush through his hair. "Will you try to forgive yourself?"

He nodded reluctantly. I could see that he was not convinced he even deserved forgiveness. "I promise to try."

"That is all I can ask of you." I smiled shakily. "So, what is the surprise you prepared?"

"Right," Edward reached over, grabbing an envelope from his dresser and presenting it to me. "This is it."

It was addressed to Mrs. Isabella Masen. The I and M curled in his beautiful font. I carefully opened it and pulled out the heavy paper. The words were simple and yet I needed to read them two times before my scrambled mind understood them.

"Mrs. Isabella Masen,

it is my pleasure to extend an invitation to you for an evening of dancing at the 1910s-themed ball in Seattle. I look forward to the luxury of your company.

Forever yours,

Edward Masen"

I could not help but smile up at Edward. "This is a wonderful idea!"

"Alice has arranged a dress that should fit you." He explained with an equally wide smile as he moved his hand to my belly, stroking his thumb over the bump. "Will you be alright, if I stay in the house? You will always be able to hear me. And if you start to panic again I will be there."

I nodded and reluctantly stood from his lap.

"I will see you later, love." He smiled at me, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand before letting me go.

I knocked gently before entering Alice's room. A plethora of fabric scraps was strewn throughout the room.

"Bella, you're just in time! I've been working on something special for you." she greeted me brightly, practically vibrating with excitement.

I could not help but smile at her enthusiasm. "Will you show me what you have been working on?"

"Of course!" She jumped up from the floor, flitted into her adjacent dressing room and came back with a stunning dress made of delicate lace and silk. The empire waist was a bit unusual but otherwise the dress was so very familiar, I was almost sure I had seen one like it at some point in my true youth. "Ta-da!"

"It's exquisite, Alice. I can't believe you made this for me." I said, impressed.

"Well, I only changed some things. The dress existed already. And I just could not resist the challenge."

"It will be perfect, Alice." I told her. "Thank you!"

"You're going to look absolutely stunning, Bella. Edward won't be able to take his eyes off you." She told me excited.

"Did you see that?" I asked her.

"Uhm, no." she scrunched up her face. "I have some trouble seeing you at the moment."

"Is it my shield?" I asked her, confused.

She shrugged. "But, I know my brother. And he won't know what hit him when I am through with you."

But as I stepped into the dress, Alice's excitement began to wane. Her golden eyes widened in concern as she noticed the slight strain on the fabric, especially around my baby bump.

"I must have miscalculated the measurements. I'm so sorry, Bella."

"It's okay, Alice." I told her soothingly. "I am sure it is quite the change for you to not see the outcome of your tailoring, no?"

Alice's disappointment was still evident in her eyes. "But I wanted it to be perfect for you!"

"And it is." I assured her. "It is a stunning dress."

"Thank you!" Alice said. "I guess we'll just have to work with it, right? Are you sure you are comfortable in it?"

I nodded and smiled at her. "I will be fine."

The drive to Seattle went by in what felt like a moment. Whenever he did not need the gear stick Edward would hold my hand in his. Delicate music filled the car.

While the Seattle Centre Armory had none of the architectural charms of the buildings in my true youth the hall was beautifully decorated. Chandeliers had been hung from the metal beams. The gaslight fixtures flickered and illuminated with a warm, soft glow. The dining tables were adorned with fine china, crystal glassware, and intricate decorated silverware. The meticulous table settings added an air of sophistication to the dining area. Though the tables had already been pushed back to add space to the dance floor when we arrived.

Edward offered me his arm as we entered. I could feel his eyes on me as I watched the activity on the ballroom floor.

"Bella, you look absolutely stunning." he told me once again.

"Thank you." I met his gaze, eyes sparkling with delight. "I know, Edward. You told me before. And as always, you're not too shabby yourself."

He shrugged. "I can't help but tell you over and over again. Especially since you, Bella, are the most enchanting woman in this room."

I playfully slapped his chest and rolled my eyes. "You are obligated to say just that, Edward. You are my husband after all."

"And it is true," he said. "May I have the honor to dance with the most beautiful lady in attendance?"

"Only in attendance?" I grinned.

"In the world." he amended. "Through the ages. No matter when, you will always be the most gorgeous angel."

Obviously I agreed and when the song changed Edward pulled me into his arms. Our fingers were intertwined as our bodies moved as one. We were in perfect harmony. Just like the very first time we danced together at Theodore Montgomery's soiree. And just as it did then, time seemed to fly.

We danced and danced. And we never tired.