But I wanted a pony.

Chapter 4: Jam. It comes after Toasts.

It was fruit season and Jimmy started making jar upon jar of jam.

Harry found that useful to get all his children into the kitchen at once, admittedly behind an invisible wall. He'd learnt the burnt skin charm from George; and had to use it more often than he wanted to, on his children already.

Daphne looked at him and nodded.

"So, we've got a surprise for you all" said Daphne.

Altair perked up. Most of the quints were even paying attention.

"I'm pregnant, we're having a baby, or possibly babies. So you're all getting a baby brother or sister." said Daphne.

"But I wanted a Pony!" said Caph indignantly. [AN: Ding Ding Ding. There's our Title Drop.]

Harry held in a sigh. Of course she did.

"When are they coming?" asked Hesper.

"In a month" said Daphne "For family magic reasons, I've been pregnant for ages. The trip I had to take to St Mungo's. That was when we found out."

"Didn't Daddy get fixed?" asked Altair.

"A complication of our injuries before we were put in prison." said Daphne. "Led to your father being just barely capable of making me pregnant again. We've had that stopped – we really are stopping after this."

"Oh" said Altair.

"So… do I get a pony?" asked Caph.

"Caph, no ponies" said Harry. "Sorry." 'God give me strength,' thought Harry. 'If we get out of her teens alive it'll be a miracle.' Harry's optimism in this regard was to prove oddly prescient, as it sometimes was.

"What's their names?" asked Sirius.

"We'll decide once we meet them" said Daphne, shutting that line of questioning down immediately.

"Is it going to be quints again?" asked Caph. "Cos that'd be um. Twelve and that's more than Nanna Weasley." Harry felt pleased that Caph could do mental arithmetic, but could have done without the judgemental commentary.

"We're not sure how many" said Harry honestly. "Probably not five. The same spell that makes mummy's tummy not swell up makes it nearly impossible to do medical charms. But it makes being pregnant not awkward, and makes giving birth easier."

"You quints, you were much less painful and difficult than the twins" said Daphne. "Which is just as well; giving birth to twins was hard work." Harry remembered Daphne looking exhausted, barely able to talk, and having a broken hand.

"So, in a month or so, we'll go to St Mungo's and come back with your baby brother or sister" said Harry optimistically.

[AN: His optimism was unfounded. As usual.]

"But won't it be at least twins?" asked Altair. "Cos that's cos of mum isn't it?"

Harry stared at Altair, who apparently had been paying attention when his grandmother and Molly talked about animal breeding; The Weasely's pigs always had large litters, which was a nice source of income for their farm. "Look, I've got no idea, and neither do St Mungo's" said Harry. "But in a month or so."

-==0==-

Harry and Daphne rushed to St Mungos three weeks later. The Healers had brought six cots, just in case. Daphne grunted once, there was a slithering sound, and the sheet had a pile of little silvery snakes on it, and a little bloody slime. The Healers and Medi-witches put them in cots, while Harry held her hand, then finite-ed the spell in parseltounge.

The room echoed with sudden infant cries.

"You appear to have… quintuplets, Mrs Black" said a medi-witch. Harry sighed. "Quints" he said to Daphne.

"Oh bugger," said Daphne, "Twelve. Just my luck."

"They all seem quite well, despite the erm, family magic" said a Healer, frowning professionally at the results of diagnostic charms.

"We have done this before, you know," said Daphne. "Can I get a clean-up, I'll be fine an hour or so."

"I'm gonna need to get extra help on the bedroom project" said Harry.

"They can sleep in the parlour for the first year" said Daphne "The old quints did." she frowned "We need a term to refer to them by."

"The last batch" said Harry.

Daphne growled.

"Tertiary group" he suggested.

"You did some research?" she asked, lifting one eyebrow.

"Hermione had ideas." admitted Harry. "What are we actually doing for names?"

"I'm not giving them numbers. Well, not permanently." said Daphne. Harry felt that was a bit… clinical.

Harry cleared his throat and asked loudly "What's the erm, gender tally?"

"Three girls, two boys" said a medi-witch.

"Oh god" groaned Harry "More ensuites." He kissed Daphne's on the lips, softly and tenderly. She narrowed her eyes minutely, "Bring them to me" she said.

Harry let the medi-witch clean the babies and wrap them, then started kissing and carrying them to Daphne one at a time for a cuddle and a kiss. A few whispered hisses of 'rest in the nest' had the others settled. He was an old hand at settling crying babies.

"Let's not do Black family names?" asked Harry, as Daphne kissed her third new infant, holding their wobbly head tenderly. Her face was looking radiant, relaxed and extremely soppy.

"Well, I think great-grandparents" said Daphne. "But we can't use your great-grandfather Henry, its sounds too much like Harry."

"Mum's grandfather was a Simon" said Harry, and he lifted his eyebrows momentarily.

Daphne nodded minutely. "One should have a name starting with S" she said. "I would… would like one of my boys to be an Alexander."

Harry used a carpenters pencil he had in his pocket to label the boy's cribs. Alexander and Simon.

"Harry – call my parents." said Daphne, holding two baby girls and looking thoroughly pacified.

"You could, you can cast it" said Harry.

"My hands are busy. Besides… Elko is majestic and manly." said Daphne, and she – Harry glanced over had pursed her lips, and her eyes were wide. 'Did not mean to say that eh?' thought Harry. 'Well I think your swan is lovely.' Harry put the son that wasn't Alexander down – Simon. This was Simon. He drew his wand and labelled Simon's nappy with an 'S', as he and Alexander both looked equally wrinkled, tiny and blue-eyed. He imagined he could see wispy light hair on both their heads, so with luck, they'd avoided the cursed Potter hair. Harry cast the patronus charm, and the Irish elk his children, and now apparently wife, insisted was called Elko appeared in a gout of silver smoke. The one girl in a cot was transfixed. Harry tried to remember which one – she was a bit special, clearly, and wiggled his wand.

Elko stepped over and lowered his silvery head.

"Go to Roxanne Greengrass. Message is – Children born at St Mungo's. Come soon." said Harry. The elk's ears flicked. Harry gave his wand a flick, and Elko turned, and dashed off through the wall, the massive muscles over his shoulders bunching and extending.

"Dear?" asked Harry "Our little girl," and Harry kissed the baby's nose "noticed my Patronus."

"It is very big," said Daphne "It's hard to miss."

"The book says babies can't focus for some time." said Harry.

"Oh god. The glasses fiascos. I do hope some have normal eyesight," said Daphne.

"I think it's a family curse, really" said Harry.

"Well you know what to do – look in old scrolls." said Daphne.

Harry kissed 'third daughter who doesn't have a name yet's' nose again. She reacted to his kisses, he thought.

"Harry, do you think we should name one after great-grandmother?" asked Daphne.

"Not as Erzabet." said Harry.

"Well, Elizabeth." said Daphne "A perfectly normal English name."

And as Harry's grandmother on the Evans side had been a Barbara; and that left one girl to name.

"You know" said Daphne thoughtfully "Margarita is a good name."

"Nobody but us knows who she was" said Harry.

"I'll just say that I drank Margaritas on holiday when I got pregnant" said Daphne. Harry blushed.

"Please don't say that" he croaked.

Alexander, Elizabeth, Barbara, Margarita, and Simon met their Grandmother and Grandfather.

Roxanne started kissing them in their cots. Cyrus looked… well, confused. Harry suspected he was going to have trouble remembering all the names. And in a moment of insight, that he himself might forget one or two soon.

"Did you really need five more?" asked Cyrus.

"Do you need to have grandchildren at all?" asked Harry sharply. Cyrus evidently recognised the threat, and lowered his head.

"Don't be a schmuck, Cyrus," said Roxanne, bending down and kissing little faces.

"I think we might use some of my friends as godmothers." said Daphne.

"One each, Tracey gets first pick?" asked Harry.

"Tracey gets my little Alexander" said Daphne. "And just because say, Eustace works at Black Books doesn't mean she's a friend."

"Eustace who?" asked Harry.

"Exactly" said Daphne.

"And Elizabeth for your great-grandmama?"

"Yes."

"Erzabet would be a bit… people would look it up" said Harry.

"You know, you should give the gels flower names" said Cyrus.

Harry rolled his eyes.

"Flower middle names" said Daphne "That could work."

"Black family names as middle names" said Roxanne.

"We just picked likely looking names from a list for the quint's middle names" said Harry.

"Well, there are five of them. It was a bit of a shock." said Roxanne. She looked over at the other five. Harry deduced that meant 'this time five was not a surprise.'

"Harry?" said Daphne.

"Yeah?" said Harry.

"We will still not be using Severus, Albus, Brian, Wulfric, Remus, et cetera as middle names for the boys." she said.

"Antioch and Cadmus" said Harry, turning and sticking his tongue out at Daphne, who rolled her eyes, and shook her head, but she had also chuckled a little. "No" she said softly.

"Those are odd names" said Cyrus. "Where are they from?"

"Read them in a story-book" said Harry evenly, and Cyrus nodded.

"Now you really are stopping at twelve?" asked Cyrus.

"Yes," said Harry "Already been to St Mungo's for that – when we knew Daphne was pregnant. Side-effect of some of the accidents we had on the way to Nurmengard."

"Well you certainly can't risk leaving twelve children for us to look after" said Cyrus. Who was so getting socks with holes in them, thought Harry. And cigars. Bad ones.

Harry and Daphne, with help from Cyrus and Roxanne brought the tertiary group home to Little Hangleton by floo.

-==0==-

George supplied quite legitimate looking exploding cigars that just exploded randomly. Harry was sorely tempted to give some to Astoria, but settled on just putting them in Cyrus's Christmas present.