Alliance


Shane's office, much like the rest of the deserted town, heavily resembled the one she remembered back home. The first thing she noticed was the smell. Shane's office always had that distinct smell she couldn't quite name but knew it belonged to him. With time, she grew accustomed to it, now however, she resented it. It reminded her of all the time she spent in there letting him coach her into allowing her magic to flow. In reality, what she was doing was far from meditating and more like welcoming in a type of magic that neither she nor Shane knew how to control – properly that is.

The candles were scattered all around the small office, just like before. She recognized some of the artifacts inhabiting the place, like woodened figures in the windowsill or the dated bowls and vases covering the small table by the door. The boring file cabinets stood just where she remembered, hopefully they'd store some useful information. On top of them, heavy books, files and loose papers resided, along with white candles.

Immediately, Bonnie was taken back to when she managed to light up all of those candles after meditating for seven hours straight. At the time, she was convinced that she wouldn't be able to get her magic back and that meditation wouldn't work on her due to her supernatural nature. It was a very known fact that vampires weren't able to use their compulsion powers on witches, so she naively thought the same could be applied to guided meditation.

She truly believed that Shane wouldn't be able to guide her, but she was wrong. Not only had he been successful, but he turned her into something she couldn't comprehend.

She was still a witch, she was at the height of her power, and yet, Bonnie couldn't recognize herself. It was almost as if she were standing in front of a mirror covered in steam. If she squinted her forest green eyes, she could make out the outline of her figure, but only to a certain extent. That's what it felt like. Like she was walking around in a constant haze and only Shane could clear up some of the smoke.

In truth, Bonnie Bennett could describe her time using Expression as an outer body experience. She was aware of what she was doing, though she couldn't say with confidence that she knew what she was doing but she kept going either way, and mostly, she didn't exactly hate having that much power cursing through her veins. She remembered everything. She remembered the first spell she did under the influence. She remembered reciting the spell at the cave where Silas was buried in, she remembered the triangle and she remembered the twelve witches. Fellow witches. Witches that came to help her. She remembered them. She remembered Aja, the leader.

Right then, a bitter taste filled her mouth. Regret . She was the one that manipulated Aja and her coven to come to Mystic Falls so that the triangle would be complete. Caroline might've been the one to plunge that knife into Aja's chest dooming her and the other witches forever, but it was Bonnie that led them there to their fate. She was the one that orchestrated the whole thing under Sila's spell.

Fellow witches.

It became harder to swallow, there was a knot living inside her throat. Within the bounds of said knot, a mix of guilt, sadness and regret took shape, and the young Bennett didn't know what to do with it. There were so many things she had done in the past, but this was different . Even if she wasn't herself, even if she'd been working for Silas, it didn't matter. There was a line that Bonnie wasn't supposed to cross and, on that fated night, she did. The sad thing was, before now she hadn't really thought about it, or the consequences of her actions. She fought so hard to push everything down and, before she had the time to revisit her mistakes, she had ended up dead.

How does one handle that?

She wasn't a murderer. She was a witch – a Bennett witch – and she was supposed to help people. She healed people. She was nature and light, and she wasn't a murderer! Yet, those witches were dead. There was nothing she could do to bring them back, neither could she go back in time an prevent herself from going along with Silas' twisted plan. What was done, was done.

She sighed deeply, despite herself. Maybe there was a reason why she was stuck here, maybe she needed this penance. She could do so without Damon and Silas plaguing her every thought, but the need to contemplate on what she had done in the past was something she ended up doing more and more often. In all fairness, her entire group had blood in their hands in one way or another, but back then it had been different, right? It had been for a good cause. There was a threat and they needed to be dealt with.

Right?

"Somehow this is creepier than what I pictured" his voice interrupted her reverie as he rummaged around the small space "Of course you'd be into it"

Swallowing tightly, she groaned "Damon"

"What? I'm just saying he was shady, and you didn't even notice that for like a while " the vampire was quick to defend himself "Plus, it's like you have a thing for nerdy losers"

Her eye roll did not escape the vampire as she moved further into the office and went through the different piles of paper "I don't remember asking for your expertise or your opinion, but since we're on the matter, you should be the last person judging someone else's choices, and I didn't have a thing for him"

"A–yes, you did; and B–rude" he said as he examined one of the mystical objects "And C –I'm merely stating the truth Bon Bon, ain't no shame about it"

She chortled "Yeah, right"

"So, I've had a few mishaps. Newsflash, it happens when you let loose and have fun" he said as he moved to the bookshelf "You should give it a try"

Bonnie craned her neck and met his eyes "Mishaps? You are beyond delusional and I'm just as guilty for even going along with this pointless conversation"

"What else are we supposed to do?"

"I thought the whole point of us coming here was to find out more information about Silas" she pointed out.

"Well, duh, but it doesn't hurt to keep things light" he shrugged "You really suck the fun out of everything"

Another eye roll "It's not supposed to be fun; we're doing research, and we have to be focused–"

"–What were your weirdly bizarre sessions with shady pants like?"

"What?" she asked taken aback "That doesn't have to do with anything"

He opened another book casually as he continued "You spent a whole lotta time in here and since we're on researching duties and whatnot, what was that whole thing like?"

Wetting her lips, the young witch shook her head "Why are you trying to get me distracted? We're here to do one thing and you keep sidetracking us"

"I'm not, in fact I'm helping. You knew Shane and you spent time in here, am I supposed to believe that you don't know more than you're letting on?" he accused but his voice was surprisingly calm.

Bonnie, however, took full offense and her mouth hung open before she let him have a piece of her mind "Oh, so now I'm the shady one? Again, Damon, you are the very last person to throw stones"

"Everything's so black and white with you Bennett, relax" he said with a loud groan.

"You can't be serious Damon!"

"I am and before you go full throttle, you got it all wrong" he clarified as he approached her "We know that Shane's as shady as shady can be, but you're not exactly known for sharing information when it's not convenient"

"You're still very much accusing me of something I'm not" she spat with her arms crossed "And you think we can make this partnership thing work? Please" she added acidly.

"Just shut up for a second Bonnie and listen. Actually, listen" he added as he bent down to meet her at her eye level "Like I said, you spent a lot of time in here with Shane doing whatever"

"–Meditating" she interrupted through clenched teeth.

"Yea, sure" he let out an exasperated sigh before carrying on "The point is, you must've at some point been connected – on the same wavelength – right?"

"I... I don't know... I guess" she replied confused.

In all honesty, there wasn't a lot that she remembered from that time with Shane that didn't have to do with meditation or her supernatural abilities. That's what they focused on in every single session, so she never thought much of it, but Damon seemed to think there was something more. Was there?

"Think Bonnie, if you were that connected, you must've had some access to his mind"

Well, that was a reach.

"It doesn't work like that Damon, it's meditation" she replied at once and put some space between them "Besides, even if that was a possibility – which it isn't – but if it was, I'm pretty sure he'd be able to work around that"

Placing a heavy book on her hands, he told her "You give him way too much credit. At most he was an obsessed, slightly unhinged and crazy man"

"You would know the signs" she scoffed.

Ignoring her statement, he said "You are a Bennett witch, the best of the very best, there's nothing you can do, so don't shoot down my theory just yet"

She eyed him curiously "Is it even a fully realized theory or is it one of your barely-there concepts?"

"Just try it out Judgy" he said frustrated "Your blood and your magic are way too powerful to just not give it a chance"

"If, somehow, Shane and I had a psychic link then I'd be able to see his true intentions but since that didn't happen, I think that's enough proof that your theory isn't real" she said as a matter of fact and walked towards the file cabinets "This is actual proof of something real"

"Why are you so against it? Afraid I'm going to be right?" he taunted as he followed her.

"You can't be that conceited"

"Oh witchy, but I have every reason to be"

Bonnie shook her head and continued looking through the different files until she found one titled 'Mystic Falls'. As she pulled it out, she noted that it was heavy "This is something we can work with" her fingers went through the pages carefully "He's known about all of us since the beginning..."

"He was shady; been saying that" he said incredibly close.

"Do you mind? I don't need you breathing down my neck" she retorted before refocusing on the task at hand "He even knew about you and Stefan, Klaus and Rebekah... but how?"

Leaning against the desk, he said "Isn't it obvious witchy? His obsession knew no boundaries which, again, is incredibly creepy"

Knitting her brows, Bonnie Bennett analyzed the papers in front of her "Yeah but this is... disturbing"

"He was a man on a mission and look what that got him" Damon mused.

Unironically, that made him think of his own predicament. His mind flew to when he first got back to Mystic Falls. He was so empty and that fueled him to keep going and never stop. The illusion that once he fixed everything and got the tomb open, he and Katherine would be together again and the hole in his chest would cease to exist, was what kept him going. Nothing was sacred to him but her. Katherine was, at the time, his salvation. She was his ticket to freedom and happiness.

His century-long search for her ended worse than he could've ever imagined, and yet, it was better than what Shane got. It's funny how one betrayal can truly redefine one's entire existence. Or maybe he was that dramatic. Either way, it affected him and somehow, going through that betrayal led him closer to Elena and Stefan. The only thing Shane got was concrete and then death. His life culminated in that frantic search for that Silas induced fantasy and he ended up forgotten and rotting away in a cave.

"He was watching us for months, even before we went to Whitmore" she said worried "We hadn't even met him, I didn't even know who he was"

Damon came closer to her and looked at the pictures "That was the night Elena died" he whispered. The photograph was clear as day; Elena and Matt were at the old Gilbert house, sitting on the sofa, they looked worried, especially Matt. The older Salvatore had to fight the urge that overcame him when he was reminded of that night. "He's been lurking since before that douchebag Connor was in the picture with his vervain-laced bullets"

"Seems like it..." she said and nibbled on her lip.

Even though shit had already hit the fan a long time ago, it did prove that there was more than what they knew, and that Shane definitely targeted them.

"Ready to put my theory to test?" he asked serious "Even though none of this is exactly news or helpful, I'm willing to bet that what we actually need is in here... somewhere"

Huffing, she looked at the vampire "I still think it doesn't make sense. Besides, we haven't looked everywhere"

To that he said "Speak for yourself, I'm a vampire, I got speed on my side. And there are some things we could use later on but there's got to be more"

She turned to him completely "Oh, so you found something. What is it?"

"That book, for starters" he pointed to the heavy book he gave her earlier "These journals and I found a collection on ancient civilizations – the supernatural kind"

"You found his journals?" she asked at once and tried to take hold of one of them.

"Aht aht, not so fast witchy" he said taking a step back.

"Are you kidding me? I want to see them" she demanded.

"And you will. At home" he countered "Besides, it's not the only thing we found and I'm pretty sure he's got a hiding place in here. Do you really believe that he's got ancient books but has nothing more valuable on Silas?"

"Obviously, there's got to be more but that doesn't mean what we've found isn't worth anything" she stated with a furrowed brow. Looking to the book he gave her, she asked "Do you think this book is for real?"

Shrugging, he replied "It's definitely dated; it doesn't seem the kind of book you'll find at your local bookstore, and it's Shane"

"You could've just said yes" she snickered "We also have these files, so it's not a bust. We actually found a lot of stuff Damon"

He looked around the office "We did but something's telling me there's more. There's always more"

Bonnie closed the file and quickly piled others that seemed relevant "Let's face it Damon, we'll probably have to come back here anyway. There's no way we'll be able to go through everything he collected over who knows how long"

Yea but "I don't like to wait. Come on Judgy, work with me here. Just give it a try and if it works, it works. If not then, we'll call it a day"

Sighing, the young Bennett crossed her arms across her chest. She was sure this wouldn't work. She and Shane didn't share a psychic link or any link whatsoever. He basically lied to her and manipulated her into using Expression. She never even knew about his wife and kid until he was exposed. However, she did promise that she would do everything in her power to be reunited with Grams again, so inhaling deeply she caved in.

"Fine, let's do this" her voice showed just how much she didn't believe in what they were about to do.

"That's it" he said as he clapped once "So, go ahead, do it"

The young witch peeled one eye open "Yeah, I'm waiting for your expertise"

"I'm not a witch Bonnie, I don't know all the mechanics involved" he remarked.

"Oh, so you admit there's something wrong with you" she said half-jokingly.

"Don't push it" he warned with narrow eyes.

Closing her eye again she said "For real Damon, I don't know what you're expecting it's going to happen here"

"Just concentrate, pretend I'm not even here. You're trying to access that link" he started.

"Right, I'll see what I can do"

"Well, that's assuring" he murmured.

"You don't help if you don't shut up" she said with her eyes closed.

Begrudgingly, the Salvatore vampire obeyed her request and remained silent for a few minutes until she opened her viridian eyes again and said, "It didn't work"

"No, you just didn't do it right" he scolded her.

That earned him a glare "I know you're not trying to school me on this"

"But you are doing it wrong"

"And just like that, I'm done. We have everything–" she said fast as she attempted to collect the files and books but, suddenly, Damon was right behind her, holding her in place. She could feel his energy and his grip on her hips "You're too scared. Stop and do what comes naturally to you"

The urge to run was piling up by the second. Not because she was frightened but because she was growing extremely annoyed by him "I'm not. Let go of me"

He ignored her "You're too aware of me. Forget that I'm here and think back to when you were in here with Shane"

"You're literally hovering over me" she stepped away from him, but he pulled her against him, her back hitting his chest.

"Focus Bonnie. Block me out and tune into those memories you have of practicing with Shane" he spoke with precision, as if he were a doctor giving a very important lecture on human anatomy. "Forget the distractions and forget that I'm here. Focus on you and Shane"

Well that a problem because, like he said, she was too aware of him. She was too aware of his energy, of his smell, of how annoying and arrogant he was. Unfortunately, Damon Salvatore was the only person she'd interacted with in months, she couldn't block him out as much as she wanted to. He was like a constant reminder of what this place was and her biggest regrets. Besides, his antics were horrible.

Still, it was nothing compared to Silas and his wickedness. That was another beast that she desperately wanted to conquer.

Focus Bonnie, focus, she thought to herself, although, she was positive that this little experiment wouldn't work. It wasn't like she could use her magic; Shane was versed in witchcraft, and he knew exactly what tools to use in order to help her unblock her magic. She remembered the candles and the smell; it was strong, but it wasn't overbearing. Much like everything in the office, and also, much like Shane himself. Shane wasn't a man of vanity; he considered himself to be above that. He often preferred the company of a good book than people.

"I wrote three books, actually. Two of them, just too mortifying to display" he told her when she found out he was an author.

Crazy to think that most of who she thought he was, ended up being a façade. A mask carefully curated that she was now finding more and more cracks. But back then, he seemed so different. There was an aura about him, so calming and so soothing. He told her he wanted to help her, and she believed him because her intuition told her so. And even after she got her magic back, she continued to trust him. Sure, there was a sort of symbiosis happening where she needed him to be alive, but beyond that, on a deeper level, she had trusted him.

"You really think you can help me start practicing magic again?" she asked him half curious, half serious.

"Absolutely, I can. I invited you here because I can. Bonnie, listen. You are afraid to practice magic because those witch spirits convinced you. They threatened your Grams, and they made you feel guilty. You just have to confront that fear and that guilt and remove it"

The weird thing was, now that she was looking back into that memory, she could see the red flags.

I invited you here because I can.

She was in such a rough place back then that she only saw what she wanted to see, instead of what was in front of her – a manipulative bastard. That's who she was dealing with. Shane was dishonest and a pawn; and to some extent, she had been a pawn too. Not anymore, not for Shane, not for Silas, not for Damon. She set her own terms and even if she was struggling, she was seeing clearly now. At least where it concerned the crazy professor.

The fog dissipated and her eyes slowly opened again. She didn't say anything, but she had a feeling there was something hidden there, if she pushed the desk to the side "Can you move the desk?"

Damon didn't waste any time removing the object "That's what I'm talking about"

Bonnie quickly kneeled and looked for a hollow place in the floor, when she found it, she tried to open it by sticking her nail in the crack. She screamed when Damon punched through it "What the hell Damon?"

"What, I got the job done" he replied fast "Looks like I was right"

The young Bennett rolled her eyes and took the heavy book out of the floor "This is it"

"Is that the only thing in there?"

Bonnie was too entranced in the book's cover to give the vampire a reply straight away "I've never seen a anything like this"

He took the object from her hands and gave it a look "You said the same thing about Stefan's book, let's not get too excited"

"You're such an asshole, I can't wait to–"

"–Yeah, me too" he interrupted her at once "You'd think he'd have like picture of his family locked in there or something" he mused aloud.

"He does, it's right there on that shelf" as she got up, the girl decided to take the rest of their findings into her hands and leave "I'm pretty sure we won't find anything else, and I don't want to be here anymore" she didn't wait for a reply and merely made her way out.


It hadn't been long since they made their way back to the manor. The search had proved to be successful and for once Bonnie was glad that something went according to plan. This place had such a habit of throwing stones, darts and whatever else it could conjure up to lead them astray from their path, that today's side quest was one that had her somewhat concerned. From the moment she and Damon decided to go last night and up until this morning when she was getting ready. She overwent the possibilities in which everything would go wrong. Needless to say, more than half of those possibilities were Silas related.

She still couldn't get over the frightening encounter she had with him and how he was able to take over her mind. That meant that it was only a matter of time before he came back to finish the job. She just hoped that they could find something to use on him soon because going against an ancient being unprotected wasn't doing her any favors so far. If anything, the young Bennett had skating by.

She still couldn't read her grimoire but with what they found in Shane's office, maybe she could find a way to protect herself and to block Silas' magic out. She needed to keep him out, that was her top priority, she just needed to find out where to start.

Being hijacked by another witch was never a pleasant experience. She knew it first-hand with Emily. It was like anything she had experienced up until that point. Especially the first time it happened. She remembered being able to see and hear what Emily was doing and saying but she lacked control of her own body. It was also the first time she experienced her magic flow naturally through her body without any restraints of age or knowledge.

Yet, after Emily left her, Bonnie could feel her body react to that departure. Especially where it concerned her powers. It was like her magic didn't want to work, like it had a mind of its own and just straight up refused to let her do what she needed to do to help her friends. Her dreams became more and more vivid and even when she was fully awake, young Bonnie would have moments where the magic took over leaving her in a trance.

For weeks, it felt like her mind was fighting itself – Bonnie, the Bennett witch versus Bonnie's magic – and sometimes she didn't know where Bonnie, the teenager, fit into all of this.

The sad thing was, after she learned how to control her powers, after she cast countless spells and fought against enemies, Bonnie still faced the same struggle, the only difference being that she didn't know where Bonnie the person fit. The witchcraft and the magic somehow gained much more relevancy than she had in her own life.

Sighing deeply, the Bennett girl gripped the book harder and made a very conscious effort to dissipate those thoughts and go back to the issue she had at hands which prompted her to think back at what happened in Shane's office. Glancing at her vampire companion, she wondered how in the hell Damon Salvatore knew how to get her to find Shane's hiding spot. Well, she did that on her own, while he breathed down her neck, but the question was how did he know that'd work?

"You know, it's rude to stare" he started never taking his eyes off the road "But then again, I am pretty, so I'll allow it"

"Your ego is way too big Damon" she stated.

"You–"

"–Don't even go there" she said quickly.

"You're making me sound like a broken record but let loose witchy, nothing's gonna happen" he said casually "The earth won't fall off its axis"

Huffing, she replied "Whatever"

"That's not a childish answer at all" the sarcasm dripping from his tone "Why were you staring?"

"I wasn't staring!" she defended herself.

"You were and hey, look, it's not the first time a girl's checked me out"

That made her chuckle "I definitely wasn't checking you out either"

Shrugging he said "Whatever makes you feel better Judgy"

"I wasn't!" she meant to say it in a stern way but somehow her voice went a few octaves higher which really annoyed her, but she quickly regained composure, cleared her throat and added "Back at the office, when you basically forced me to find this book" she palmed the object in question "How did you know that was going to work?"

This time, the older vampire looked at her, his cyan eyes burning "First of all, I didn't force you, I... encouraged you to do it"

"–Yeah right" she chortled "That's the word I'd use"

Ignoring her, he continued "Secondly, I told you; we had a pretty god shot of it working, and it did"

She shifted in her seat so as to face him better "That doesn't answer my question, Damon. How did you know?"

He huffed hard "Does it really matter? It worked"

"It does, especially considering everything" she said at once.

She saw the tick in his jaw going but she wasn't deterred by it. They were working together now because they had a common enemy that wanted her head on a platter, so yes it was that serious.

"Back there, you accused me of hiding information which is exactly what you're doing now" she continued "I'm not asking you to share your deepest secrets Damon, but this is something that relates to the both of us and if it's something that we can use against Silas then–"

"You're not the first witch I've met Bonnie, there were many others along the way, and I picked up on some stuff" he interrupted her "That's how I know"

And somehow, the young Bennett wasn't convinced "That's incredibly vague"

"That's more than enough" he replied and turn off the engine but didn't leave the car.

Bonnie rolled her eyes, it seemed like they couldn't get along for more than two seconds "By picking up some stuff you mean spells, hypnosis and you just happened to know where my ancestors were burned. Right" she added skeptical.

"What do you want me to say Bonnie? This is a big world and I've been alive for a long time; I've met a lot of people. Does that mean I'll have to hand you over a detailed list anywhere in the near future?"

She shook her head. Typical "You know what? I'm not doing this Damon, there's only so many fights I can have with you, so I'm going to be the bigger person and walk away"

She gathered the findings close to her chest and reached for the door handle but before she left the vehicle, she felt his fingers around her left arm. Her eyes were heated; even though she took the better approach, she was still pissed at him. Her gaze went from his fingers on her arm, up his own leather covered arm, his chest and neck, and finally his face. When she stopped at his eyes, they were raw and cold.

There were a lot of chapters in the Damon Salvatore book. A lot. So many that not even Stefan knew about all of them. And to this day, Damon could say with certainty that his brother was the only other person that knew him, even better than Elena, though she was getting to know more and more about him. That is until their time was cut short. The point is, as much as Damon surrounded himself with people, acquaintances, companions, lovers, whatever their function was, they never truly got to see the true Damon. What they saw was a carefully curated persona that could mold itself into whatever the situation called him to be.

He fit right into the role of the bad guy, the monster. That's the one he had liked the most. He could be the doting lover, the law abiding and considerate citizen, the naïve human, you name it. He played so many parts that somehow showed a microscopical fraction of who he really was. After almost two centuries of dabbling in and out of these characters, there were a lot of things that no one knew about him, and he liked it that way. He preferred it to be like that actually.

The reason why Bonnie's question made him react a certain way was because what she was asking of him meant so much more than what she knew. What she was asking meant retelling (or reliving) one of his purest eras. It meant tapping into a depth of being that he buried deep within. It meant telling her about a Damon that she wouldn't believe had existed at all because he made sure of that. He made sure that those traces would never reach the surface ever again.

But now they were stranded in this forsaken place, Silas was out there somewhere haunting Bonnie and he and Bonnie had just begun to give the alliance a second chance. There was so much at stake; he couldn't be his usual impulsive self and then improvise his way out. They needed to stick together if they were to make it out alive.

He knew she was pissed; he could feel her anger in waves and the last thing they needed was another step back. Unfortunately for him, that entailed telling her the truth, or part of it. He was pretty sure he could give her the cliff notes version and she'd be satisfied. As smart as she was, he was a skilled storyteller.

They held each other's gaze for a few seconds before he said "I know a lot of witches Bonnie, one of them was Bree, she owns the pub we went to"

She opened her mouth slightly, not expecting that bit of information, and adjusted herself in the car seat.

"I met her when I had my humanity off. It just so happens that back in the day, Bree's used to be a place where some outcast witches and even werewolves came to have fun" he explained "I was still looking for Katherine and Bree knew who I was straight away, but she had that spunk that made her fun and we just clicked" he wasn't looking at her but rather at something that wasn't quite there, it was as if he could see the memory in his mind "Anyway, I ended up telling her about Katherine and one day, she invited one of those witches and had her try and locate the witch that had information on Katherine"

Her brow furrowed; the only witch alive she knew of that had a connection to Katherine was "Lucy?"

He cocked his head to the side "Before her"

Oh "Grams didn't have– The tomb" she concluded.

"Yeah but no" he said "This was before your Grams was even born. I saw Bree coach that witch on how to access the link she shared with someone and it worked"

"So, did you find out what you needed?" she asked despite herself. She knew how that storyline ended but her curiosity took the best out of her.

Relaxing against his car seat, the vampire sighed "They were already dead by the time I got to them"

She narrowed her eyes, she had so many questions "Why did Bree help you?"

"You could say she sort of owed me" that was an understatement considering he had saved her life the very night he met her, but Bonnie didn't need to know that.

"But you're a vampire" she mused but, then again, she thought about her own situation. And then something else came to mind "Wait, is this the same Bree you introduced Elena to when you kidnaped her?"

"Well, kidnap is a strong way to put it" he commented "But yep, that's her"

"That's... interesting"

"So, now you know. We're good?"

She rolled her eyes; she knew there was more to it. The way he acted all secretive told her as much, but for now that would suffice "Sure"

As they made their way inside the manor, Bonnie was quick to go to the study and rest the items they found on the nearest table. Knowing that Damon would be closely behind, she asked him "Where are Shane's journals?"

"You really don't want to waste any time do ya?"

Crossing her arms, the girl said "Not with Silas lurking"

"Fair enough but before we get into all of that, I need bourbon" he commented.

"Hey, that's all fine by me but I want to read those journals now"

"You haven't even finished Stefan's book" he retorted "Which I get, I mean why would anyone want to read that is beyond me but what can I do"

"Are you done with your ramblings?" she asked before he could spiral into whatever topic he could find to stall the task ahead "And we need all the information we can get"

he clasped his hands behind his back "We do, but you also need to find a way to block your mind"

Sighing she said "Which is why I want those journals, Damon. I still can't read my grimoire, but Shane did know a lot about magic, so maybe I can find something helpful in there"

Huffing, the vampire rested the notebooks on the table and told her serious "Be careful, he was crazy and shady"

She made a 'duh' face at him "I know what I'm dealing with, trust me"

He narrowed his eyes slightly "I'll be right back"

She nodded and as soon as he vanished, she took one of the diaries into her tiny hands and sat on the comfortable sofa. She let her fingers skim through the cover before she dared opening the book. Part of her knew this was a necessary step but a much, much smaller part felt weirdly about this. As dodgy as Shane was, it was still so weird to ready someone's most guarded thoughts and feelings, especially because she spent so much time with him. Sighing deeply, the young witch shook those thoughts away. She was on a mission. She finally opened the book; the first page was blank, it only had A.S in the right bottom corner. She turned that page carefully and was greeted with words in black ink.

March 10 th , 2010

It's been a year since it happened. Actually, it was the one-year mark two days ago. I thought things would change; I thought I would change but when something so devastating happens you can't just move on. I tried but I can't. Everything reminds me of him. We still have his room just like it was. We can't bear to take anything from it. It's too painful. Caitlyn hasn't been the same. She changed, how couldn't she? He was our light and now he's just... I thought it'd get better.

I'm worried about Caitlyn. Lately, she's been talking about necromancy. I don't know how to feel about it. I want our son back just as much, but this is different. She's... obsessed , she's committed to seeing this through and I want to support her. I do support her but the risks... So many witches said the same thing and... I just don't want to lose her. Not now, not ever. She's the love of my life. We've met so many witches in the last year and they all say the same thing. Expression has its limits and it's dangerous when misused. But Caitlyn, she's been practicing it for a long time now and she's sure she can bring our son back.

What are we doing?

I want to be there for her. I want Sam back. I want to support her. But I'm worried.

She's coming by the University more often. Every time she comes, she's got a new spell or a new artifact or a new witch that ends up telling the same thing. But still, she wants to go forward with the plan. If we can even call it a plan. I don't know anymore.

I teach the Occult to young and impressionable minds, but my faith isn't there anymore. Something's missing and I'll never get it back. The only thing I can do is be by Caitlyn's side and hope for the best.

The truth is I'm scared.

Bonnie bit her lip sadly; she couldn't even imagine that type of loss. She was still recovering from not having Grams with her and that pain seemed to take her up whole some days. The pain and the guilt overpowered her, and it was too much. Other days, it was easier. The hurt was still there but she could manage it better, way better. Knowing what happened to Shane's wife, Bonnie could only conclude the woman's grief never left her or Shane. They both went down such a dangerous path. Grief really does change people. She was living proof of that.

"That's depressing" he spoke next to her "Here's your tea"

Bonnie looked at him surprised "I didn't ask for tea"

Damon groaned loudly "It's either that or bourbon, so take it"

Rolling her eyes, she rested the journal on her lap and took the warm mug into her hands "What did you think?"

"About what?" he asked as he took the book they found in the office and sat on the armchair next to the sofa.

"What you just read" she stated obviously.

This time, he rolled his eyes dramatically "Depressing"

She pulled a face "They lost their child, have some sympathy"

"In your wildest dreams" he replied as he sipped on his drink "Though it just confirms that he knew something was wrong back then and still tried to bring the same shit onto you. He'll never get my sympathy; matter fact, I hope he's burning in hell right now"

"I know that. I'm never forgiving him either it's just that..." she started but then decided against finishing that sentence "Never mind"

"Come on little witch, say it with your chest" he said amused as he propped his feet on the coffee table.

Sighing deeply, she finally said "They were grieving, I know what that feels like, and I know you know it too" with Katherine, she wanted to add but refrained from doing so.

He remained silent but his eyes let her know that he was musing over her words. As different as they were, there was one thing that Bonnie and Damon knew about and that was grief. Granted, his actions brought those feelings into her life and that was something that she wouldn't be able to forget, but it wasn't something foreign to either of them.


By the time it got dark, Bonnie got a better understanding of how Caitlyn descended into madness and tried to revive her son. In her mind, she thought that the woman couldn't let go and was willing to do the unthinkable, however, Caitlyn had done more than that. She had crossed so many lines and in the end that's what got her killed, the magic was a big part of it too, but Bonnie was sure that even if she were to take magic out of the equation, Caitlyn would've been far too gone. She'd become addicted to the dark magic, and she was behaving like it.

Again, and very unfortunately so, she could relate. Her journey with Expression had been terrible to say the least and that cost her life. This is crazy , she thought as she thought of the parallels between her and Shane's wife. Caitlyn died trying to bring her son back and she had died trying to bring Jeremy back. The only difference was that Bonnie was successful at it.

She hadn't lived many human years, but she'd always feel like she'd lived a thousand lives, which wouldn't be that much of a stretch. After dying, she became a ghost, then she became an anchor and now she wasn't even sure what she was anymore. What label do you give to someone that's crossed so many boundaries, pushed and pulled them at ease, and who's now stuck in some kind of alternative reality?

She and Caitlyn were more alike than she first thought. They both bended the rules and, while under Expression's influence, completely misused their powers. However, Caitlyn remained dead, whereas she had a chance to come back and have another take at life. If you could call it that. Whatever it was, it allowed Bonnie to see her friends again. Why her and not Caitlyn? Or Grams? Or even Aja? Why did she get to live?

It's not like she was ungrateful or anything but looking at the events now, it was definitely uncanny. She had died a few times now; to her friends back in Mystic Falls she was dead, but what does that even mean? What does it feel like? Cause she was pretty sure this wasn't it. Or was it?

"You've got that serious face again" he murmured.

She quickly got out of her head "Umm, no I don't"

Pointing his fork at her, he said "Yes you do, you've been doing that all day"

"This is my only face" she replied and immediately felt silly.

"I know what you need" he said and exited the dinner table only to come back in two seconds with a glass of bourbon "Drink"

She pulled a face "I don't like bourbon, I'm pretty sure I told you that"

His face let her know that he didn't care "What do you have to lose? You've been making your dinner all sad and depressed, and I take it personally because my food is amazing, so drink "

"You can't be serious"

"Don't you know me witchy?"

Sadly, for her, she did. "I don't know what this is supposed to accomplish anyway"

"Something to take your mind off of Silas, and Shane and his feelings" he said in one go "And to lighten up the mood"

"This is peer pressure" she said before smelling the alcohol which was a horrible idea "It's so strong, I can feel my throat burning already"

"Why are you putting on a show? You've had my bourbon before" he stated.

Yea but "I was on edge, it's different" she tried defending herself "Plus, it was my choice to have it"

"You know, you whine a lot"

She gasped offended "I do not!"

"You do and you still haven't drunk it" he stared at her pointedly.

"Ugh, fine, whatever" she downed it and immediately she felt the liquid burn its way down her esophagus.

"Atta girl. If you keep up, then you'll have a better tolerance and you'll enjoy it" he said with a smirk.

"So, you want to turn me into an alcoholic?" she managed to say in between coughs.

Shrugging, he clarified "Eh, what else is there to do? Besides researching" he added quickly "Alcohol is fun when you know how to do it right"

"You never do it right" she told him "And pass, I'm fine with my drinking habits"

"If you say so"

"I know so"

"Better?" he asked her, and she took a moment to realize that whatever tactic he had on his mind, worked. Maybe he did have a brain after all.

"Yeah, I guess" she nodded.

"See, all you need sometimes is liquid courage"

"Says the alcoholic" she quipped.


When she reached the bed, she let her body sink in the soft mattress. The sheets hugged her body and that's when she realized how tired she was. The day went by fairly quick and thankfully, they had a lot of material to go through. She was positive that if they kept the pacing going, they'd find something on Silas pretty soon. As she sighed, she let her heavy eyelids close and drift off into a deep slumber.

Her peaceful state was interrupted when she felt her mattress dip and, when she rolled to her side, something heavy and cold kept her from completing the motion. Sleepily, she used her hand to get it out of her way but once she touched it, a chill went through her entire body. That alone made her open her eyes fast and check her surroundings. She didn't have to look far as she knew who took hold of her wrist.

"Silas" she whispered.

"Hello, Bonnie missed me?" he asked in the same tone.

Her immediate reaction was to retrieve her wrist and get out of the bed as fast as she could. However, before she reached the door, he told her "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you. If I wanted to, I would have but I didn't"

Her look and stance remained ready to fight with every fiber she had in her body "Get out!"

Shrugging, he came closer to her "We need to talk, little one" he then took hold of her arm and sat her down on the bed while he took the chair next to it "You can't escape me Bonnie, I am getting you no matter how hard you fight"

Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. She tried not to look at the window or at the bathroom and analyzed her options. One faulty move and he could have her by the throat. He most likely spelled the room because Damon and his vampire strength were nowhere in sight. So, she had to try and get out of this unscathed.

Forcing her jaws to unlock, she asked him "What do you want from me?"

Silas crossed his legs and lifted his eyebrow "You haven't figured that out yet Bonnie? Oh, you can do better than that"

It was obvious really, but when it dawned on her, it still shook her to the very core "My magic"

"That's one point for you but that's not all I want" he told her as he checked his nails.

Unconsciously, he tried to cover herself with her arms which made him chuckle "I don't want you in that way Bonnie. No offense, but this is business, and I don't mix business with pleasure"

Gulping heavily, she asked him "Then what do you want?"

He stood up and made his way to her. With each step he took in her direction, she took a step back until she hit the wall and there were no more steps to take. He towered over her; and Bonnie urged and pleaded her body not to squirm under his stare, she wouldn't give him that satisfaction. Touching one of her wild curls, he said "I will be back. You can't hide from me little one, and then I'll tell you"

The young Bennett woke up right then. Her body snapped into a sitting position, and she quickly looked around to make sure she was alone. She willed her legs to take her to the bathroom, which was empty – thankfully. With her hand on her chest, the girl paced around the room trying to understand what the fuck that was about and how did Silas manage to get inside her head again. It had been so long since she had dreamed with him that this left her beyond unbalanced.

Naively, she thought she'd had a bit more time to get what she needed. She thought she'd find a spell or a charm or something to help her keep him out of her mind and away from her.

Fuck!

I can't relax, he's out to get me, I need to find answers now.

She couldn't just wait until he made a move. She couldn't underestimate him at all. This was Silas and there was nothing that could stop him from coming back and realizing whatever quest he was on.

Moving back to the bathroom, she splashed the cold water all over her face but that did nothing to calm her down. She was too alert now. Sleep was no longer a priority, defeating Silas was.

Her legs moved before she had the chance to give them proper commands. She made her way down the stairs and in her frantic walk, she bumped into him. Her first instinct was to punch him, but he quickly stopped her hand from connecting to his face.

"What the hell Bennett?"

She blinked quickly and retrieved her hand fast "Sorry" and made a move around him but of course Damon wouldn't let her go now.

"What's wrong?"

She brought her forest green eyes up to him "Silas"

Standing in his full height, the vampire assessed their surroundings "He wasn't here" that wasn't a question.

She shook her head fast "I–I think I had a–a dream and he was there"

As he looked down at her, he could see she was shaking and clearly agitated "Let's go"

"What? No" she protested "We need to find out more about–"

"And we will, I promise" he reassured her as he guided her to the kitchen. He quickly had the kettle going "You're in shock, you need to calm down and–"

"That's what he said" she whispered "I told me to relax and–and that he wanted my magic, but I don't have it anymore and–"

"Bonnie" he said as he met her eye level "We'll figure it out"

"He got in my head again" she whispered "We don't have a lot of time Damon"

"I know and we'll be up all night looking for more clues if you want to" he started and then moved behind the counter to prepare her tea "For now, drink this"

She wasn't in no frame to have tea now, they needed to do research "Damon"

"Just drink it and we'll be going back to the books"

Reluctantly, she sipped on her tea "That's it witchy, keep drinking it"

When she had a few more gulps, she rested the mug on the table "I'm good"

Nodding, he took a seat next to her and looked at her serious "I'm gonna ask you this because it's important, so do me a favor and take that into consideration, okay?" when she nodded, he continued "Is it possible that you dreamt with Silas because he's been on your mind and not because he found his way in?"

She squared her shoulders "What are you..."

"It's just a question Bennett" he tried "How long has it been since you dreamt with him?"

Hugging her middle section, she said quietly "Months. But it still could be him Damon, we can't rule that out"

"I know, but what if it's not actually him and instead it's your projection of him, then that means that you're still safe"

"But how do I know the difference?" she questioned him "It's horrible either way"

Knitting his brows, he was conflicted because he didn't have any proof that it was just Bonnie dreaming of Silas. Actually, he didn't even know if there would ever be a way to prove it or if he was trying to keep her away from him. In any case, he wouldn't dismiss her dreams at all, especially now. "We'll find a way to keep him out. I promise"

"Okay" she murmured "We'll find a way"


A.N.: Hello angels. It's been a while, I hope you're good and that you've had a good summer. Here's the latest and I hope you enjoy it. As always, I want to thank everyone that's following this story, I want to thank you for the feedback because it does help a lot and it inspires me so keep it coming.

So, as you can tell, the characters are still finding their footing with each other, I think they're getting more comfortable with one another and it shows in the ways they interact. We're also getting some backstory on some characters that I feel need to be explored a little bit more for the sake of my own story. Also, Bonnie reflects on a lot of stuff that I think because she's in the situation she's in, will naturally come up in her mind.

Anyway, thank you for reading and for your support. Please let me know what you think and we'll see each other soon xx