Adira would love to reconnect with her brothers properly, but that wasn't her style. She didn't easily relate to people, and when she did have a relationship with them, she didn't show it in the typical way. It had led to numerous fights between her and Hector when they were children. While traveling with him these past few months, she had learned how to give more than she was completely comfortable with, and take what was offered, even if she didn't really like it.
Did it make her feel crowded and slightly uneasy at times, just because she wasn't used to extended physical contact? Yes. Was that enough to make her stop? No. Because Hector needed her, and she needed him. Having him in her life was well worth the minor inconveniences and annoyances.
But just because she could work things out with Hector didn't mean that it came as easily with Quirin. It was odd. Unlike Hector and Edmund, who Adira hadn't seen in twenty five years, she had visited Quirin regularly. She had been looking for the Sundrop. He lived in the kingdom where the flower had bloomed. There was no reason to not drop in at least occasionally.
They'd been civil with each other, and respected the other's boundaries, but neither of them had truly felt like they were family anymore. Quirin had his wife, and then his son. Adira had her duty, and her nomadic lifestyle. They'd both felt like they'd reached a point in their lives where they didn't need each other anymore, and that was fine. It hadn't been awkward, because it had been mutual.
Now though, Adira could feel the distance between the two of them. She'd been working side-by-side with her brother for so long, trying to rebuild and improve their imperfect relationship. They had come all this way to find Edmund, who Hector had always nearly worshipped, but the way he talked about him now Adira thought that he saw him as their older brother, as he should.
For years Adira had subconsciously seen the Brotherhood as just a fancy word for a group of obsessed knights. Now, she felt like they were a brotherhood. A family. An awkward, slightly dysfunctional one that she didn't know how to keep together, but a family nonetheless.
And here she was with Quirin, the brother that she should know the most, and she felt like she was speaking to a complete stranger.
He'd changed a lot since the last time she'd seen him, which didn't really help. Two years ago, he had been cold, slightly dismissive, and tired. He still seemed tired now, but he was also fiercely protective, openly concerned, and he'd lifted his cold mask enough to show some of the warmth that Adira had remembered from their childhood. The warmth that she thought had died when they'd been forced to leave their home.
Theoretically, Adira should have an easier time talking to Quirin now that he was more open, but she wasn't used to this side of him, and she didn't know how to begin talking to him. What did they have to talk about other than their family?
So instead of truly bonding with each other, Adira and Quirin talked about Hector and Varian. Quirin told her everything that had happened to his son this past year and a half, and how it had led to such a drastic personality and relationship change for the two of them. And he explained how Varian had found himself plagued by an angry spirit.
At first, Adira had shared just the good experiences she had with Hector. The progress she believed he was making, and the hope she had that he was willing to leave behind everything he'd dedicated his life to. After Quirin's tale though, Adira opened up about the concerns that she'd been trying to ignore.
"Something's going on with Hector." Adira said quietly. "I can't explain it, but there's something magical surrounding him. Sometimes I feel like he's influencing it. Other times, I feel like it's influencing him."
She wanted Quirin to give her a sympathetic, but stern look as he told her that there was nothing supernatural around Hector. She definitely didn't want to see Quirin's brow furrow in concern.
"Upstairs." Quirin said. "There was something…wrong with him. I could feel it. I-I could see it. I thought it was my imagination, but now I don't know."
Adira felt her concern for her brother spike. "What did you see?" She'd been so busy trying to calm Hector, as well as push down her own anxiety that she felt from his touch, that she hadn't really paid attention to how he looked.
"Darkness." Quirin said. "Not metaphorical. Literal darkness and shadows. It was like he was there, but he wasn't. Not really."
Adira was scared for her brother. She had been trying to ignore that concern, turning it into just a desire to help him, but it was getting harder to ignore. Knowing that Quirin, who had never seemed worried about anything, was a little nervous, it made her feel more anxious.
"Whatever this power is, it's strong." Adira said. "I'm sure you noticed the storm outside." It was impossible to ignore. "That's him. That storm has been following us since we left the Great Tree. And it gets stronger when his anger and fear do."
Quirin's eyes widened. He looked uncertain in a way that Adira had never seen from him. It scared her.
"What is going on?" Quirin muttered to himself.
The front door was thrown open and Varian ran in. He certainly looked like he had more energy than before. He nearly looked back to the way he'd been when he was younger, when Adira had watched him from a distance.
Despite Varian's energy, there was a melancholy and sadness about him that didn't belong with someone so young. He ran to his father's side and embraced him, like a small child who had gotten upset and needed comfort and protection.
Quirin gave his son a concerned look, but he didn't say anything to him. He just put his arm around Varian's shoulders and pulled him closer. Adira looked towards the door to see Hector lingering. The same sadness that Varian had around him, Hector had it too.
"Can we go find Uncle Edmund?" Varian asked. Hector made an odd noise, but when Adira gave him a concerned look, he refused to meet her gaze. He was upset, and he didn't want to talk about it. That was nothing new.
"Edmund?" Quirin gave them confused looks. "Is he here too?"
"Along with Prince Horace." Adira said. "It's more of a family reunion than you were expecting, isn't it?" She smirked at the expression on Quirin's face. The disbelief that morphed quickly into exasperation and resignation. He had looked the same way when they were younger and he was exhausted from Hector's and Adira's antics.
"I need to talk to our brother." Hector said. "He's the only one who can release me."
This time Varian was the one who made the weird sound. It was a little like a sob, but he shoved his face against his dad's chest to muffle the sound. Quirin looked alarmed, and he tightened his grip around his son. Hector gave him an apologetic look. Something had happened between them.
She was glad that Hector had let himself get to know Varian, when he'd been so worried about it before. But she couldn't help but be frustrated about it. She knew that Hector had been holding back from her. They had opened up to each other so much, but there were secrets still. Things he was scared to admit either to himself, or to her.
It took months for Adira and Hector to reach this imperfect stage, and that was fine, but Varian had only known him for a short time, but already they seemed to know each other in a way that was deeper than that. It hadn't sounded like Hector had said anything significant, but Varian had reacted like there was something more.
She wanted to know what was going on, but trying to talk about emotional matters was difficult for her. She never knew what to say, and her tone was never right, and it always made things so much worse. She just ended up frustrating people and making them become even more closed off.
If Hector wanted to talk to Adira, he already would have. She was frustrated that she couldn't be enough for him, even after all this time, but she wasn't going to use that as a reason to be petty and get between him and Varian. She would just continue doing what she had been doing for Hector.
"Edmund is probably with Fishskin." Adira said. "And he's probably at the Capital." She could count on one hand the number of times she had seen the prince consort, though she supposed he was actually a prince, out of sight from the Sundrop.
Varian looked thoughtful as he slowly pulled away from his dad. "I-I want to go to the Capital anyway. I think…I think I want to see the princess."
Quirin gave Varian a concerned look. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"No." Varian said with a small laugh that nearly sounded like a sob. "But I can't avoid her forever."
"I know, but you said you weren't ready yet." Quirin said. "You shouldn't push yourself."
"I know, but I think I can do it now." Varian said slowly. "The thing is, whenever I thought about talking to Rapunzel, to apologize for everything I did, I would feel-" Varian trailed off and rubbed his arms like he was trying to warm himself. "I always feel guilty, and I probably will for a long time, but the guilt felt so much stronger when I thought about talking to her, or Eugene, or Cass. It was like there was a voice in my head telling me that I don't deserve forgiveness, and nobody will ever care about me."
"That was Andrew." Hector said from the doorway where he still lingered. "He was whispering to you." Quirin visibly seethed at the mention of the spirit.
"But he's gone." Varian said, looking at Hector. "The guilt isn't gone completely, but it feels different. It feels manageable. And maybe when I'm standing in front of Rapunzel I'll chicken out and still can't talk to her, but I want to at least try."
Quirin didn't look happy, but he sighed and didn't argue. Adira knew that he was trying to back off and let Varian do what he felt was right, instead of always trying to control him. Quirin wanted to make up for his cold demeanor in the past. Adira thought that this was a step too far. Varian was still so young. He still needed guidance in his life. There had to be a balance between complete control over everything his son did, and unquestioning support about whatever Varian wanted to do.
Adira didn't say anything though, because what did she know? She didn't have a kid. She didn't do the whole family thing. This was between Quirin and Varian. They needed to figure it out for themselves.
"We'll go to the capital then." Quirin said. "All of us."
They went outside into the storm. Quirin started to prepare a cart for them, but it quickly became clear that it wouldn't work. The wheels of Quirin's cart couldn't handle mud, and with the storm following Hector, mud was unavoidable. And Quirin's horse was far too skittish to let Hector within twenty feet of it, so the cart wasn't really an option anyway.
So they walked. Adira didn't mind. She'd gotten used to travelling in the rain, and the weather was surprisingly tame right now. Hector must be in a good mood, despite his panic a short time ago.
The walk was long, but it gave them the chance to talk and catch up. Adira and Quirin both wanted to know more about Hector's apparent knowledge about spirits and the banishment of them. Their brother just smirked in a way that was both playful and spiteful.
"It's an old tradition of our people." Hector said. "It's amazing the things you can learn when you don't disavow your heritage."
Adira instinctively rolled her eyes, glad that Hector wasn't looking her way to see it. She knew that Hector was happy that they were all here as a family again, but that didn't mean that he had forgiven them. He'd been hurt, and Adira didn't know if he'd ever get over that.
Fortunately, most of their discussion wasn't so tense. Varian, curious and energetic as he was, seemed to have an endless number of questions. He wanted to know what the Dark Kingdom was like, and how it was to grow up there. He wanted to learn about the Brotherhood. He especially wanted to hear stories about his dad.
Reminiscing about their childhood was fun, but it was bittersweet. Seeing the sad looks in Hector's and Quirin's faces as they laughed at the stories, it was clear they felt the same way. They had a lot of good memories and fun times as children, but those times were gone, and they weren't coming back.
Quirin and Hector both looked even more upset than Adira. She wasn't exactly bothered by the thought that things weren't going to ever be the way they had been before. Things changed all the time. That didn't mean that they couldn't have good times later.
She understood why her brothers were upset though. Quirin had spent years trying to ignore his old life. He wasn't just missing their childhood, he was missing all the time where he could have looked back on it fondly.
And Hector had never been able to move on from their childhood. From the time when he knew that his siblings were there for him. The thing that he missed was his trust with the Brethren, and that was something that would never be the same as it had been before.
Eventually they got to the capital, and Adira found an odd amount of amusement in watching the Coronans as they passed them on the street. Many of them were running to try to get out of the rain. They were acting like a little bit of rain was far worse than a minor inconvenience. Adira heard some people mutter something about getting to the mainland before the lake flooded.
Hector looked at everybody they passed like they were a foreign species. "It's like they've never seen rain before."
"To be fair, we don't get it often here." Quirin said. Adira nodded. The blessing of the Sundrop. The same way that the moon had cursed the Dark kingdom with plague and infertile land, Corona was known for its sunny, perfect weather.
Varian rubbed his arms. "And for them, this rain came really suddenly. The last time we had inexplicably inclement weather, well…" He trailed off and looked at his dad. "The gentle snowfall became a catastrophic blizzard."
Quirin gave Varian a concerned look. He offered a hand to Varian, smiling gently when his son took it. They carried on to the castle. There was a tense moment when they passed some castle guards. They gave Varian a long look, making him fidget uncomfortably and lean against his dad. Quirin glared at the guards, and Hector and Adira gave them stern looks of their own, and they went on their way without a word.
As they entered the castle they heard a loud, familiar caw. Flying through the castle halls was a familiar black bird that Adira recognized immediately, even though it had been twenty five years since she had seen him.
Quirin's eyes widened. "Hamuel? What is he…Edmund is actually here?"
"You doubted us?" Adira raised an eyebrow at Quirin.
Hamuel flew right towards them. Varian, who wasn't used to this bird, yelped and ducked as he stumbled out of the way. Quirin steadied him. Hamuel flew right past Adira's head and crashed into the wall. He collapsed to the ground.
"I haven't missed that stupid bird at all." Adira adjusted her clothes, frowning. Hamuel hadn't touched her, but she couldn't forget the way he had always crowded her space. Hamuel was completely incapable of understanding the concept of personal space.
Hector smiled and approached Hamuel, crouching near him. "I have." Hector reached a hand out, and Adira felt a rush of concern. Animals were so skittish around him, even his own bearcats, and she didn't want to see him get hurt by rejection. To Adira's shock, she didn't have to worry.
Hamuel got to his feet with a caw. He looked at Hector, tilting his head at him. The bird hopped onto Hector's hand, nuzzling slightly into him. Hector froze for a long moment before he smiled broadly and stood up. He set Hamuel on his shoulder. "Oh, you're a bold little guy, aren't you?"
"H-he's not scared of you?" Varian beamed at Hector, who smiled back at him.
"Well, Hamuel has never been much like most animals." Hector stroked his finger against the bird's feathers. "At least we know Edmund is nearby." Hector's smile broadened. "He's here. He's actually here. This is going to happen." Hector laughed and ran down the hall to find their brother. He had waited so long, and he wasn't going to wait patiently anymore.
Adira let herself smile, feeling happy for her brother. He'd been through a lot. They had both come so far. They'd made this journey together, and Adira wasn't going to let him finish it on his own.
"You're not doing this without me!" Adira called out. She ran after her brother. She hoped that Edmund could give Hector what he needed. Maybe then Hector would finally be able to let go of the past and let himself have a future.
