Really sorry about the wait, but life came and inspiration and time went! Here's the overdo, Chapter 10! Please enjoy!
Special thanks to; bjq and Wynter Phoenix for reviewing the last chapter!
And thank you to all those that added this story to alerts and favorites! :)
Disclaimer: I'm just visiting this world. Lena & Abby however belong to me.
"I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you."
-Jon Katz
The first thing she noticed was that she was standing waist deep in water. The second thing she noticed was that she was definitely in the other world. Not quite dead but not quite alive either. She couldn't help but feel the draw of death here. It made her feel stronger.
This was where she could thrive with the power that coursed through her.
But why was she here? And where was she in the land of the living?
Oh that's right. She could see it…
It was a Friday afternoon, four days after her awakening and she was sitting alone cross legged, staring at the three candles lit before her in the center of her room having not gone to class in the guise of having the flu. An old book that belonged to one of the Sons sat on her lap in hopes that it would illuminate more on the power she never asked for.
It didn't.
But she remembered how it provided information on astral projection. Which she supposed was a bit of what she could do. Though she didn't realize staring into the flame of the candle would have gotten her to the other side so quickly.
Sighing, she brought her attention solely to the world of the dead where she still stood waist deep in water. Glancing at her surroundings she further realized she was standing in the very lake she had died.
With a wave of her hand she found herself now dry and standing on the shores of the lake in what might have been the precise spot she had coughed up water…a place of beginning and end for her…
The water lapped at the shore making it the only sound around. Even the manifested forest that surrounded the lake gave no signs of life. No chirping of birds or chittering of bugs. It was just the unnatural sound of silence that seemed deafening despite the waves at the shore.
Continuously looking into the water her mind wandered to the fact that despite drowning she never developed a fear of the water. In all actuality she rather enjoyed swimming and most water activities. Funnily enough though, she couldn't be paid to get into a small boat. Boats scared her. Which was weird to many including herself. After all, it wasn't the boat that killed her. So why did it scare her?
Perhaps because those were supposed to represent safety, yet they hadn't kept her safe.
Lena sighed and started down the shore in the direction that seemed to call out to her, where naturally the tug of the power seemed to lead. Perhaps there she could locate the pieces of information that Isabel had so cleverly hidden from her. Such as how to get rid of Chase. There was a way…she knew it. She could feel it, she had even figured out a piece of the puzzle…a small thread…a thread for the last four days that led her back to Caleb.
Why Caleb?
Something in the dark whispered at her then but she couldn't quite make out what it said. It wouldn't be the first time she's heard it over the last few days. Pausing, she looked toward those dark trees. Was the answer there? Lena made to step toward the trees but the sound of footsteps shifting the sand caught her attention instead.
She must have been deep in thought to not have realized someone was coming. She hadn't felt him in the slightest but now that she was aware of him the cold chill seemed to stay permanently on her spine.
He didn't belong in the in between and he certainly didn't belong in the place of the living.
"You shouldn't be alone, Lena," Chase's voice said smoothly. "I bet you've heard that plenty of times."
Not moving nor taking her gaze away from the trees she said, "Good thing I know you won't hurt me or rather you can't…not here."
"Ah, confidence," he sang. "That's either very stupid or very brave of you to think."
"Perhaps a bit of both," she responded, this time looking at him. His hands were in his coat pockets and he was watching her carefully. She noted he was also keeping a relatively safe distance from her. "What's this?" she mocked. "Learned how to respect people's personal space?"
"You could say that…" he muttered.
"Or maybe it's because you're afraid of me," she shrugged. "Afraid that I might have found a way to put you where you belong."
Chase scoffed, "You haven't done any of that," he said. "I've already told you, we're connected. I know, just as you know, you can't harm me any more than I can harm you."
"Yes, yes, you're my very own Voldemort," she rolled her eyes.
"Except that Caleb Danver's is a part of this just as much as you are," Chase said, "Isn't that why you're walking around in the dark here? To figure out why?" He looked toward the trees, she wondered if he could hear the whispers too. She wondered if he could understand them any better than she could.
"I just thought it was easier to visit my death site in a trance than to actually go there," she muttered. "Why are you even here?" she asked, with narrowed eyes. "Other than to annoy me."
Chase looked at her, a bored expression marring his handsome features.
"You brought me here," he said as though it were obvious. "You can't keep me out of your head, Lena," he smirked. "I'd even say I occupy just as much space as Reid does up there. Will you tell him you've spoken to me?"
Lena didn't respond and Chase grinned, enjoying his own little sick game.
"I'm your dirty little secret, hm, Lena," his tone had taken on a scandalous cadence. "If you want to see me all you need to do is call me. I'll gladly give you my number."
"You're confused," Lena glared at him, "The only reason I would bring you here is so I can get rid of you properly," she told him. "Nothing more and nothing less. I know you can tell I'm stronger here." Chase's blue eyes looked her up and down and he shrugged.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night," he said. "But we both know that it doesn't matter because you can't get rid of me without figuring out why Caleb is so important. I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't also curious. He's been nothing but a pain in my ass since I learned of him. And it seems our lives are intertwined whether I want them to be or not."
"But you haven't bothered to leave town," she said. "You're still hanging around Ipswich. I don't know where but you are."
"I have unfinished business with my brothers."
"You are actually insane," Lena scoffed, "Let bygones be bygones or whatever," she added. "Funny enough if you weren't a power hungry murderer, I think you all probably could have been friends but you're intent on getting payback and playing a victim looking for revenge."
He actually laughed at that.
"Victim? Hardly. And friends?" he chuckled. "I don't make friends."
"Clearly…"
"Neither did you until recently," he said moving toward her, she took a step back to keep the space between them. He grinned, "You're still scared of me."
"I'm not," she frowned. It was the opposite actually. "It's just that I've worked out one part of how to get rid of you. I'd have to die. Well…again."
"Yeah, I've figured that out myself," Chase laughed. "But you wouldn't do it. You wouldn't do it because you're worried about what that would do to Reid, right? Because the two of you burn together. Since the moment you met you've become two sides of the same coin. The yin to your yang. If you died, would he follow?"
"No," she said.
"Are you sure of that?" he asked. "Even accidentally? Our actions have consequences, Lena. So again, are you sure he wouldn't follow?"
She wasn't but like hell she would admit that to him.
"The thing is Chase, there is always a loophole," she said instead. "Isn't that how you're here? You clung to a small little mistake. Really a series of them. You're not supposed to be here anymore than I am," she took a step toward him. "I'll work out how to sever your tie from me and when I do, be ready."
"Are you really willing to lose a piece of yourself to save people you've only known for less than three months?" Chase asked.
"Gladly," she said, she could feel the familiar ache in her hands but unlike the last time she felt it she embraced it now. "I'm different from earlier this week, Chase. I suggest you not try me."
"You don't scare me Lena Shaw," he said.
"I should," she took another step and this time he took one backwards. Lena smiled, "You've bored me. You can go," with a small wave of her hand Chase disappeared in a dark cloud, but she didn't miss the anger in his face before he was completely gone.
"You're playing a dangerous game, Lena."
Lena wheeled around and when she did, not only was she now face to face with Isabel but she was also no longer standing on that lakefront with the whispering darkness. They were back in that same large library that Isabel had taken her to days prior.
"You shouldn't venture out there anymore," Isabel told her. "It's dangerous, I know you felt it."
"I hear it. What's out there, Isabel?" Lena asked.
Isabel crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, "It's an answer but one you're not going to like…" she told her. "And you can't keep bringing him here like that. Least of all he discovers something he shouldn't."
"I didn't bring him here on purpose," Lena rolled her eyes. "And as for the answer, the more you say I shouldn't do something. The more I'm going to want to know."
"Lena," Isabel sighed again, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Leave well enough alone. You truly won't like what you find. You'll get yourself killed…Permanently if you keep this up."
"Do you think I want to die?" Lena asked.
"You wouldn't be the only one!" Isabel yelled. Lena took a small step from her because though Lena was stronger in this place, she was nowhere near as strong as Isabel. In comparison, Lena was a gnat, while Isabel was the apex predator.
Breathing out slowly, Isabel composed herself, "Just stop, Lena. At least for now, you've only just awakened to this. Stop. Do not follow the obsession you have with getting rid of Chase Collins. You have so much life! Be with your friends, rely on them and help each other! Go back to the living world and live. Do what I didn't and choose to live."
Before Lena could say anything more, Isabel turned on the spot and disappeared as though she had never been there at all.
"Do not follow the obsession…Do what I didn't and choose to live."
Another chill ran down Lena's spine but for an entirely different reason…
Who are you really Isabel Seymore and what really happened to you?
Blinking once, Lena was now fully back in the living world.
Roughly she pushed the book from her lap, and quickly she blew out the candles before she jumped to her feet but perhaps a little too fast as she stumbled slightly as she made her way to her bed. Shaking her head of the dizziness she sat on the edge of the bed cradling her head in her hands.
"What am I supposed to do?" she whispered. She pressed her hot hands against her cheeks, feeling the power that had been there dissipate but agitation started to set in her chest.
Much like it had been the last few days, thoughts ran through her mind. Isabel knew Chase was a problem but she also didn't want Lena to dig any further. All while wanting Lena to make her own choices.
"What would be worse than death?" Lena mumbled.
"I had a choice and this was the one I chose…"
Lena knew she was playing a dangerous game but she made a promise, didn't she? She was going to help get rid of Chase, right? And trying to ignore that Chase Collins was out there wasn't going to solve anything, right?
Those whispers in the trees…
Lifting her head slightly she looked at the smoking candles still sitting in the middle of the floor.
"You shouldn't venture out there anymore."
Fuck that, Lena thought as she reached for the heavier, darker power of the other side that was easily fueled by her agitation.
There was a tingling in her hand again as she continued to stare at the candles, their flames reigniting, the edges of her vision darkened and faded out of focus. If she could just go back to the lake and know what the whispers said she could rest. Those whispers drenched in death were her key. She could just—
Her concentration broke as the dorm door swung open. It wasn't until then that she realized that the room had also grown cold. Her vision cleared as she rapidly blinked at Abby standing in the doorway with Tyler and Reid just behind her.
Reid had a headache and it had very little to do with the conjugations of Spanish verbs and everything to do with his lack of sleep. He rubbed his temples as he walked besides Pogue at the end of class.
"Man, when was the last time you slept?" Pogue asked him suddenly. Reid looked at his friend as he dropped his hands from his head.
"I don't know, what day is it?" Reid asked him.
Pogue looked less than amused as he shook his head.
"Dude you have got to sleep," Pogue mumbled. "You're going to look as bad as Caleb."
"Is that possible?" Tyler asked, coming up on Pogue's other side. "I don't know if Caleb's slept since we were nine let alone the last few months. Personally I think Reid already looks worse and should probably get medical attention."
"Oh fuck off," Reid rolled his eyes.
"But seriously," Pogue said before Tyler could respond, not that he was going to because his attention went elsewhere as he immediately was waving at Abby, Kate, Caleb, and Sarah at the end of the hall. "Reid," Pogue continued, "I know things have been stressful but you haven't been yourself…Is everything okay with Lena?"
Sighing softly, Reid ran his hand down his face. That was certainly a question, wasn't it?
Were things with Lena okay? It was a bit more complicated than a yes or no.
Reid rubbed his hands together before cracking his knuckles. He had never faced this much anxiety in his life but he'd been feeling that way more often lately. Unsteady and that he could topple over at just the slightest push. It wasn't all of the time, but it was enough for him to notice it was a problem.
He would grow restless at night as though something might happen to Lena if he weren't around.
The tightness in his throat would lessen when he reminded himself that Lena was fine, that Lena would be fine, and that Lena was safe.
Safe but distancing herself, a voice in his head whispered. He sighed again…he thinks that she thought he didn't notice because they'd been spending every night together since Monday but Reid could tell she was trying to pull away. He just hadn't mentioned it to her.
How could he when he knew she'd just smile and lie about how she was?
She was good at trying to distract him, showing him the little things she could do without potentially harming herself like light a fire or will things from across the room to her. This magic, just like her, was bright and warm and could easily turn hotter when used like this. He could tell she was using it while he was in class, it had ironically been the only thing that eased his migraine during that hour.
On the other hand, he knew she wasn't going to try to use the other power, he remembered what it felt like. It was like his spine was frozen before fire licked down it. Completely breath stealing in both the worst and best way. She could work miracles and she could easily do the opposite and he knew how much that scared her.
She just didn't want to talk about it anymore. So they hadn't.
Though he wished they did.
"Things are fine," he said.
"Liar," Pogue and Tyler both voiced as they joined up with the others.
"What's he lying about?" Sarah asked.
"The usual," Pogue said.
"Ah, Lena," Kate said.
Reid once more rolled his eyes and walked around them, but Abby caught his eye and he stopped a moment.
"What is it, Sunshine?" he asked.
Abby shook her head, "It's nothing," she frowned.
Not bothering to press it further with his group's personal mood ring, Reid continued on quickly in the direction of the exit.
They were barely out the doors and into the frigid air when Caleb spoke to him.
"Reid, is Lena okay?" he asked as they trudged across the frozen ground.
Reid regarded him a moment before giving a half shrug. It really wasn't an easy question and he wished people would stop asking him. "Have you spoken to her?" he asked hoping to get across that he could not be the person to answer that question.
"Mhm," Caleb hummed. "Briefly yesterday, I dropped off a book I thought she might find helpful…" he admitted. Reid frowned, Lena hadn't said anything to him about it. Truthfully, Lena as of late seemed intent on not talking about Caleb.
Those two had been awkward with each other since Halloween, but it seemed to get more palpable after Lena woke up on his birthday. She was tense around Caleb. More so than usual. When Reid or anyone would bring him up, Reid would watch as her eyes would get that far off look he'd seen in them when she first woke up. She would blink and she would be back with him acting as though she hadn't been elsewhere. And if Caleb happened to be near, her hands would ball into a fist and her teeth would worry at her bottom lip.
He wanted her to talk to him about it but when he had asked before, she had told Reid it was because she could feel how powerful Caleb was…but she didn't get like that with him. Nor with Tyler or Pogue. Just Caleb. Only Caleb. Not even a mention of Chase made her this tense.
Reid never pushed it beyond that but he figured it was something else that she didn't want to share just yet. If ever.
As for Caleb it was like he was trying to read a language he knew but couldn't comprehend what was written on the page. He wasn't afraid of Lena and he wasn't threatened by her either. That much was clear. It was as though he were frustrated with her.
Of course on top of feeling guilty for something Lena repeatedly told him was not his fault.
"Reid, you there?" Caleb's voice cut through his thoughts.
"What?" Reid shook his head, "Sorry, what you were saying?"
"I asked if you were okay?" Caleb frowned at him. They had mostly come to a stop near the student parking lot.
"Oh," Reid stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired."
Concern filled Caleb's face but he nodded, "Go get so rest, man," he said. "We have the meet later tonight and we'll talk then, alright?"
A swim meet was the last thing on Reid's mind but he nodded before the others started to bid similar goodbyes. He clearly missed something as his mind wandered. But all the same he waved Caleb, Sarah, Kate, and Pogue off as they headed further into the parking lot to head wherever.
Turning toward his two friends he once again made eye contact with Abby. She kept staring at him lately and he would be a liar if he said it wasn't making him uncomfortable.
"I'm really going to need you to spit it out," he told her.
"What?" Abby blinked, almost surprised.
"You keep staring at me," he said as he walked around her and Tyler. "Like I've got a huge zit or something. Since that's not the case, what?"
"Don't be harsh, Reid," Tyler chided. "She's just worried about you…"
Reid glanced at his best friend.
"Yeah, join the club…" he mumbled. "I'm fine."
"No, you're not," Abby spoke up, moving to his otherside. "You nor Lena are fine and I wish you'd both stop saying it."
"It's really not fair that you can feel what everyone is feeling. It's an invasion of privacy don't you think?"
Abby's already pink cheeks darkened as she glared at him.
"Believe me, I know," she growled. "But I don't need to feel anyone to know that you're both clearly not okay."
Reid sighed as they finally entered the dorm building.
"She's right," Tyler said. Reid spared him just a slight glance before climbing up the stairs, taking two at a time. He could hear them still following close behind him. "You need to talk to us man…" Tyler said once they were on the second floor.
"What do you want me to say?" Reid snapped, turning on them. "That my girlfriend is hiding something and she won't tell me? Or that I'm so fucking t—" He stopped abruptly as cold ran down his spine and his heart leapt into his throat.
That was the other power…
"Lena…" Abby breathed as she pushed past him and started to run down the hall. Reid and Tyler were not far behind her.
Reaching the room, Abby quickly unlocked the door. As it swung open, Reid could feel a blast of cold air as though they were heading outside. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Lena looked up at them blinking rapidly.
"What's wrong?" she asked tentatively.
"We thought you might have been in trouble…" Abby answered slowly. Lena ran her hand down her face.
"Oh," she muttered. "I'm fine, I was just trying to…" she frowned, "I was just trying something out and it didn't work," she sighed. "Why are you all looking like I've grown a second head?"
"We were just worried," Abby said, stepping further into the room. Reid followed, glancing at the discarded book and the lit candles on the floor. He heard Tyler close the door behind him before he felt his friend bump against his elbow.
"What were you trying to do?" Reid finally asked, his gaze going to Lena. She was watching him already with a slight crinkle in her brow. She was going to respond when her phone rang loudly in the silence.
Lena looked at it and a scowl came to her lips. He already knew it was one of her parents just by that reaction alone. He was tempted to jump on the bed and chuck the offending thing at the wall but Lena had already picked up the phone and answered it. Clearly she wasn't in the mood for privacy as she put it on speaker.
"Hey mom," she said tiredly.
"Hi Lena," her mother responded. "We got word that you had missed a few days of classes. You know—"
"There's been a bug going around," Lena interrupted. "I caught it. Don't worry, I'm still doing my assignments. My friends have dropped them off and turned them in for me. Ask my teachers. If that's all, I'd like to go back to sleep."
There's silence for a moment before a long sigh was heard on the other end.
"Lena, I know you think we're being hard on you but it's for your best interests. You got into so much trouble here we just thought that a new school would be best."
"Yeah, a new school was exactly what I needed," Lena mumbled. "Everything's been going great, mom. First a car accident and now I've got the flu…Otherwise, I've been the star pupil. Now if that's all—"
"Would you listen," her mother broke in. "I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. Are you drinking enough fluids?"
Lena seemed bewildered by the question and she made eye contact with them as if to ask if they had heard what she had. Which Reid supposed was fair, because he'd been witness to more than a handful of phone conversations with her parents by this point and not a single one had been about her wellbeing.
"I have been…" she replied. "Um…Reid got me some Gatorade…he and our friends are on the swim team so they've got an endless supply of it in the gym…"
It was a seamless lie that Reid believed he actually had done as she said.
"That was nice of him," her mom said, "It's nice to know you're cared for while you're away. I know it's been a hard road but we do miss you Lena."
A look passed over her face before saying, "I miss you too."
"You're going to have Winter Break soon right?" her mom asked. "When does it start?"
"The last day of classes is December 20th," Lena frowned. "Classes begin again January 16th."
"Really? Why don't you come home then? We can celebrate Christmas and the New Year together. Maybe you can see your friends."
Lena laughed, "Friends? Mom…" she sighed. "I'll see about coming home, okay…Right now I just want to rest…"
"Okay, maybe you can bring some of your new friends with you if they don't have plans. You can all use the cabin at the lake. I know you'd enjoy that more."
Another look went across Lena's face as though something had just dawned on her.
"Maybe. I'll let you know later, okay? I'm going to take a nap now…"
"Okay sweetie," her mom said, "I love you."
"Love you too," Lena said half-heartedly before she ended the call before anything more could be said. She looked at the phone with some type of amazement. "You all heard that right? Please tell me I'm not in a coma and my mother was actually nice to me?"
"She was definitely nice," Tyler said.
"Usually there's a lot more yelling," Abby commented. "Maybe they're realizing the errors in their ways?"
"Doubt that," Lena scoffed. "But would any of you be willing to go to Ithaca with me if I do decide to go?"
"My mom's not expecting me back so I'm all yours," Abby smiled lightly, though there was something sad about it. Reid shook his head, he really didn't understand why people had children if they were just going to treat them like strangers, sometimes worse than a stranger.
"As long as you're willing to get dressed up for a party the Friday before Christmas," Tyler said as he bent to blow out the candles. "Our families tend to hold a party during this time," he indicated to himself and Reid. And thus extended to the other two boys that weren't in the room. "It's a whole community thing. Reid hasn't told you? It's the Garwins' year."
"Been thinking of a lot of other shit to actually care about a stupid Christmas party," Reid said, taking a seat next to Lena where he instantly began unlacing his boots. "But yeah, we've got that bullshit and then we're all yours to go anywhere you'd like," he told her once free of his boots.
"Hm," she hummed as she eyed him. "We'll see. Anyway, how was class?"
"Horrible," Reid leaned back on his elbows. "Now what exactly were you trying to do before we showed up?" he waved absently at the arrangement of candles on the floor.
Lena let a look of annoyance come across her face as the other two looked at her curiously.
"I was exploring the other side," she said. "And hoping to find out the answer to getting rid of Chase…" she trailed off.
"And did you?" Tyler asked.
"No…" Lena sighed. "I'm just more irritated but that doesn't matter right now…Don't you guys actually have a swim meet today?"
"I'm like the only one that doesn't give a fuck about it," Reid groaned. "I want to sleep."
"Then go to sleep," Lena said, poking at his side. Reid squirmed away and she smiled. It was the first time she looked like herself since they entered. "I'll call for some food, you take a nap for a while and I'll wake you up so you can eat and go to your silly little swimming competition."
"Abby and I can just go pick up some food," Tyler offered. "If you want to come, that is."
"And stay cooped up with these two?" Abby raised an eyebrow, "Absolutely not. They'd forget I was here and make-out or worse."
"Please we don't give free shows, Sunshine," Reid drawled, only to chuckle when Lena hit him lightly. "Or maybe we do…" Another hit, another laugh.
"You seem better," Tyler commented as he rolled his eyes. "Anyway, we'll head to town to pick up some burgers and fries. See you two in a few."
"No pickles or onions," Lena called as the two were heading out the door.
Abby waved a dismissive hand, "Yeah, yeah!"
And like that the door closed behind them, leaving Reid and Lena alone.
Lena looked at him pointedly, "Sleep," she commanded.
Reid stood up again just to shrug off his blazer and pull his tie off. Throwing them both haphazardly toward her desk chair. Lena raised an eyebrow up at him as she watched him untuck his shirt and then started to unbutton the top few buttons of it. Her eyes slowly trailed over him, going back to watch his hands work as she bit her bottom lip.
He'd be a liar if he said he didn't want to take that lip between his own teeth.
"I believe I said sleep not strip," she voiced once he'd unbutton a significant amount of the shirt.
"What if I said I was suddenly not tired anymore?" he smirked. Dropping back onto her bed again, this time against her pillows. With his head cocked to the side he smiled and curled his finger beckoning her to him.
A smile tugged at the corner of lips as she turned and crawled up his body, where she straddled his hips. His own hands finding themselves resting on hers. One of her hands was running down the planes of his abs while the other rested firmly on his chest where her brown eyes stayed trained. Right where his heart was.
He wondered if she was aware that his heart always beat this fast for her.
"You should sleep, Reid," she said. The hand on his chest slid up to his neck where she played with his necklace. Her eyes had also moved up to look him in the eye.
"I'm not tired," he told her. She scoffed. Their playfulness was slowly receding, he could feel it. Receding and being replaced with something else…
"Just like you aren't worried about me, right?" she asked, shaking her head. "Godforbid you sleep for just an hour or so right now," she chastised. "I'm fine. Chase can't get me here, you guys made sure of that with the protections you've placed for all of us." Reid didn't voice that he didn't have confidence in those protections. "But you forget I can take care of myself. I always have," she continued.
Reid removed one of his hands on her hip and used it to tuck her hair behind her ear before resting it on her cheek. Absently or perhaps not she leaned into the touch, her eyes closing briefly.
Trust me, Lena…talk to me…Let me take care of you. Let me help.
"I know you can take care of yourself," he said out loud. "You forget that you don't have to anymore," he explained. "Also, I'm allowed to worry about you."
"Just because I'm your girlfriend?" Lena inquired, moving her face out of his reach. He dropped it back to her hip. "That doesn't mean you can not sleep because of me. You're going to get hurt because of me if you keep this up! It could fucking kill you!"
Reid wasn't an idiot and he could read between the lines. This had nothing to do with him not sleeping. It was what she always feared and whatever the hell had triggered her in the other place.
"I'm not gonna fucking die because of you, Lena," he snapped at her without really meaning to. "My actions are mine. Always have been, always will be. If my choices get me killed then fine, but it wouldn't be your fault."
She wants to argue, he can tell by the way her widening eyes seemed to light with a fire within. He could tell by the way her jaw worked and from the sudden pick up of her breathing. The way her hands still on his exposed skin grew warmer to match that fire in her eyes. He was sure if he was touching any part of her bare skin, it would be equally as hot. She. Wants. To. Argue.
And honestly, maybe he did too. His own breathing had picked up because he realized he was irritated now, he could feel the hum of his own power now as it vibrated in his veins. He was tired. He wanted to help her, he wanted to keep her safe. But she was holding it all in. Keeping so much to herself. Something had agitated her so bad but she wouldn't tell him what. It wasn't fair.
So if she wanted to argue. Fine, he thought. He would fucking argue. Maybe that way she'd tell him.
But she didn't argue. Rather than do that her eyes narrowed on him and she leaned down her hand leaving his neck and sliding up and into his hair. Her lips hovered for a moment over his before she closed the agonizing gap, covering his mouth with hers.
Immediately, one of his hands flew up into her hair where he held the back of her neck in order to deepen the kiss. He took her bottom lip between his teeth just as he imagined he wanted to earlier. She was warm. So warm…was he also this warm? It was a thought that he always had when kissing her, but this time he thinks perhaps it had more to do with how they'd both been bothered.
Lena let out a breathless sigh when he flipped them so he was on top. He was bracing himself to keep most of his weight off of her but with the way the hand not in his hair seemed to be trying to drag him against her, she wanted more of his weight on her.
She stared up at him, that fire in her eyes was still there but had transformed into something more greedy. He briefly wondered if his eyes reflected hers because not only was his headache truly gone, he was no longer tired. It was like he'd slept a full eight hours and didn't want to sleep. All he wanted now was her.
He kissed her again and she returned it as though she had been impatient waiting for him to come back to her.
Plenty of times they'd made out over the months but this time felt different. It was a lot like the first time, the night of the accident, but it felt as though it was ten times more consuming. He was a drowned man and she was his oxygen.
What was he to her?
"I'm sorry," Lena broke away panting and he continued to keep his lips on her warm skin as he kissed her cheek, her jaw, and all the way down her neck. "I shouldn't—" her fingers twisted in his hair when he nipped and sucked on a sensitive point on her neck before soothing it with his tongue. "I shouldn't have taken my frustrations out on you," she forced out in a quick breath.
"It's okay," he mumbled against her neck. "I think…It's our power…" The hand not in his hair tightened around his bicep. Her legs lifted around his waist and she tugged him more flush to her, locking her legs around him. She teasingly rotated her hips against him… "Goddamn it, Lena," he groaned, biting into her bare shoulder where her straps of the tank top she wore had slipped.
They needed to be closer…
His hand had long since slid under her tank top but it wasn't enough.
"Fuck, Reid," she moaned as he caressed down her curves and returned the tease of swiveling his hips and her hand flew to one of his beltloops and she tugged. God, they needed to rid themselves of these layers but… "We—" she broke off as he returned to her mouth.
"We have to stop," he said, breaking the kiss and finishing the thought. She nodded but the look in her eyes said stopping was the last thing she wanted to do. Reid agreed, as he kissed her again, swallowing her sigh. They had to stop. He knew this. She knew this. There were so many reasons why they needed to stop. Why they should stop…
Just that none of them really seemed to be making good arguments at the moment.
They had to stop…
"Lena…"
"Reid…"
They'd said each other's name at the same time as they pulled apart gasping.
They stared at each other as though they had just broken free of a fever.
"Abby and Tyler, they'll—"
"Be back soon," he said. Lena nodded but she was looking a lot like he felt. Disappointed. Kissing her one last time he finally pulled completely away and she let him. As he laid beside her they both seemed to be working on just breathing as they stared at the ceiling.
"Were you using?" she asked quietly after a moment.
"No, not actively," he said, turning his head to look at her. "It's always there…I think I was just irritated…I'm sorry I snapped at you."
She shook her head, "It's okay," she said. "I deserved it. I was looking to fight and that wasn't fair to you just because I'm bothered by my own nosiness."
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked slowly. Her brown eyes lowered a little before she looked at him again.
"I really like you Reid and I'm scared what'll happen to you because of me," she said. "And I know you said that it wouldn't be because of me if something happened but…I can't help the thoughts and the what-ifs."
"Hey," he shifted so he could look at her better and continue to touch her. He ran his fingers through her hair as he spoke. "I get it. I…" he sighed. "I feel so fucking useless, Lena. That I think you'll be hurt because of me…"
"We're basically worried about the same thing," she said. "You're not useless, Reid. I…you are never useless. I haven't been talking to you like you want and I'm sorry. I know you stopped asking me questions because I avoid them. I'll do better. I…you mean so much to me."
"You mean a lot to me," he whispered before pecking her lips. "We're both so fucking stubborn," he mumbled. Lena laughed at that and nodded. "I'll keep asking you questions. You aren't alone, Lena. We can figure it out together. I'm your friend, let me and the others be friends to you."
"I know," she swallowed. "I will."
"But how about we not talk about it right now?" he asked. She nodded in agreement.
"I'm feeling a little sensitive to be honest…" she told him.
"Hm…same," he said.
They lapsed into silence as Lena cuddled closer to him and he curled his arms around her. He thought she'd been the one to fall asleep until she spoke again.
"I really am sorry for taking my frustration out on you," Lena said. "But on the bright side, I feel better…well…" Reid looked down at her. "I'm still frustrated," she made eye contact with him. The playfulness from before was back. "But for a whole different reason that really is entirely your fault."
Reid laughed and she did too.
"The feeling's mutual," he chuckled. "In any case, I'm glad you feel better."
Lena smiled before partially burying her face into his shoulder and he rested his chin on the top of her head.
"Do you?" she asked.
"Do I what?"
"Feel better?" she clarified. "You said you were tired but you also had a headache, right?"
Reid frowned, he didn't think he had told anyone about the throbbing in his head. Could she tell?
"How did you know?" he asked, shifting to look at her. "About the headache?"
Lena lifted her head to blink up at him, "I am annoyingly aware of everything about you, Reid Garwin," she said. "That was even before this stupid power…but I could literally feel it like it was my own…" she paused. "It's part of the lesser magic that Isabel so kindly let me learn and didn't shroud in secret. I think she may have been some type of healer…I should have told you first before doing it but I…took the pain away."
"Huh," Reid vocalized. At what point had she used and he didn't feel it? Or was it like with him, her power had been under the surface coursing through her veins the whole time that he hadn't noticed it.
"I'm sorry…"
"You have got to stop apologizing to me," he told her. "Thank you, I do feel better."
"You're welcome," she mumbled. "I'll be sure to ask next time. It's not right of me to just do that to you or anyone…"
"Give yourself some slack," he said. "You're still getting used to it and I know you just like to help. So again…thank you."
She smiled again, probably realizing he wasn't going to let her self-pity herself into anything.
"I think it'll be at least thirty minutes before Tyler and Abby get back," she started. "You should sleep just a little."
"Oh if I'm sleeping with you I'm going to need more than thirty minutes," he quipped. Lena laughed and hit him lightly, catching his double entendre. He grinned at her, she seemed much lighter now. It was all he could really ask for because despite them having talked a little about what was bothering them he knew there was still something that was deeply bothering her, but he wouldn't dig.
Not now. Not when she was looking like herself again. Not when that agitation he felt was gone.
"You know what I mean," she laughed again. "Now go to sleep."
"I'm way too awake now," he told her. "I could literally run a marathon."
Lena snorted, "I'm the runner here, you stick to your pool lane, Swimmer Boy."
Reid couldn't help and laugh but all the same he closed his eyes if only to appease her because truth be told he really was wide awake. And he didn't know if it was because of something she did or something they did.
Lena was worrying at her bottom lip as she sat in the uncomfortable bleachers of the school's swimming pool. All around her were the buzzing of people's excitement and chatter over the meet that would be happening in a few minutes. But her mind was on part of her conversation with Reid earlier.
"I am annoyingly aware of everything about you, Reid Garwin," she said. "That was even before this stupid power…but I could literally feel it like it was my own…It's lesser magic that Isabel so kindly let me learn and didn't shroud in secret. I think she may have been some type of healer…I should have told you first before doing it but I…took the pain away."
"Huh…"
With one foot firmly planted in the world of the living, Lena peeked into the other side to find Isabel sitting at her favorite table. Isabel was right, it would be easier the more she tried it. Turns out she didn't even need that book or the candles. Just her instincts.
"You're quickly getting good at that," Isabel commented. "You didn't even need your little ritual of candles like earlier."
"I'm a fast learner," Lena said, she could still make out conversations that her friends were having around her. "But you knew that."
"I did," she agreed. "I'd really like to apologize for earlier."
"It's fine," Lena shook her head. After she and Reid had been dangerously close to crossing a line earlier, that obsession, fear, and anger she felt had dampened and she didn't want it coming back now when she was just trying to be a supportive friend at a swim meet. Trying to be normal like you want, Isabel. "I have a question for you."
"If I can answer it, I will," Isabel responded.
"Were you a healer?" Lena asked. "When you were alive?"
Isabel cocked her head to the side, "I could do much more than heal but I suppose that's what you would call it," she answered. "Unlike your boys, I know my magic came from the earth."
"Which is why you could do that whole life and death thing I got going on, huh?" Lena wondered.
"Vita-mortokinesis," Isabel rolled her eyes. "But yes, that would be the basis of that power. It mostly comes from nature." She rested her head on her propped up hand as she studied Lena. "Why are you asking, Lena?"
"I was curious," she said. "I was with Reid earlier…"
"Do you think I care about your sex life, Lena?" Isabel asked, the bored tone only betrayed by the teasing smile on her face. "I was as they say, your age once. I know what it's like to want to—"
"Jesus," Lena cut her off, she could feel her skin warming from embarrassment. "We haven't had sex! Not that it's your business…" a horrifying thought came to Lena. "Wait, can you see…"
A mischievous glint appeared in Isabel's eyes as she shook her head.
"I cannot," she laughed lightly. "I told you, there's a lot I do see and a lot I do not. That falls under things I cannot see. Luckily for the both of us."
"Thank god," Lena sighed in relief. "Can we get back on topic?"
"My apologies," Isabel grinned, waving her other hand as she said, "You were saying?"
Lena gulped…
"While I was with Reid something occurred to me that sometimes I feel like he's…like he's healing me. And today was no different except that I healed him for once, it was just a headache but I took it away because I could. I didn't even ask him and he clearly didn't know I'd done it, which was weird because I was very aware of his power hovering on the surface but he wasn't using it."
"But I healed him because I felt how much he hurt. I guess what I'm really asking is whether I'm taking from him without asking since it's not the first time and you did say I needed him. All those times when I've thought he was the remedy and I felt better, was I taking from him without consent? It's what Chase did to me, right? When I brought him back? Am I forcibly taking from Reid just to make myself…I don't know whole?"
"You aren't Chase," Isabel growled, her head lifting from her hand allowing it to hit the table loudly.
Why does she seem to hate him just as much as we do?
"But to ease your mind, you're not taking anything from Reid without consent," she said and her gaze grew distant as though she was remembering something or someone. "He's ridiculously stubborn just like you and he does what he wants," she told Lena. "I suspect his desire to keep you safe is largely at play…you and him are a rather interesting duo."
"Do we remind you of someone?" Lena asked curiously. Isabel smiled sadly.
"Hm…Perhaps," she said. "In any case, Lena, you do him a great service yourself without realizing it. You do to all the Sons. Ask them if they hear that seductive whisper to use their power."
Lena frowned as she recalled them saying how once they ascended that the enticing call to use was loud. According to Pogue and Caleb it had been the worst the first few days after ascending, but Reid had just ascended this week and aside from not sleeping much…Lena just realized he hadn't used.
Not even a few hours ago. It was there but he wasn't accessing it to use. It was simply…reacting to the fact that they were both emotionally heightened.
"Now go be with your friends and watch your boys swim," Isabel told her. "Like I'm sure he's told you, you don't hurt him."
Before she could argue that she had hurt him and that they were both liars, Isabel blinked out of existence. Lena huffed an annoyed breath and firmly planted herself back in the world of the living.
"We're thinking of going to buy dresses for the Christmas party this weekend," Sarah was saying. "Want to come with?"
"Your commitment to being normal is admirable," Lena said. None of them seemed the wiser that she hadn't been completely with them.
"I am normal," Sarah told her with a slight teasing nudge. "It would do you some good, y'know. Plus you'll be meeting Reid's parents for the first time. Don't you want to make a good impression?"
Lena shook her head. It wasn't that she didn't want to meet Reid's parents or that she didn't want to make a good impression. She simply didn't think going to a Christmas party was the right thing to do. Chase liked to ruin celebrations. She was positive she'd see him there.
She shook her head again, she would not think of Chase. Thinking of him leads to the obsession of getting rid of him. She was trying to be normal, dammit.
"Have any of you met his parents?" she asked.
"I have," Kate said. "Reid's dad is hot, you know if older men are your thing and even if they weren't," she said and Lena rolled her eyes. "And his mom…she's so beautiful that it's literally not fair."
"But what are they like?" Lena asked.
"Hm, every time I've been around them, they've been nothing but kind," Kate answered. "But I'm not dating their son."
Lena doesn't even know why she bothered asking Kate. Her friend was clearly having too much fun with this.
"At least they want to meet you," Abby said in a comforting tone. "That's always a big plus!"
"Ooh," Sarah sang, "They want to meet you?" she asked. "That means Reid talks about you."
"Yeah because his dad basically cornered him," Lena snorted. Not that she thinks Reid would have kept her a secret, it was more that most teenagers didn't go announcing their girlfriend or boyfriend to their parents when they didn't need to. At least in her case. Maybe the rich kids of Ipswich did it differently than her typical brand of rich kids.
Nah.
"Anyway, what are the other parents like?" she asked. "And don't even bother saying how hot their dad's are or how beautiful their mom's are," she added when Kate opened her mouth.
Kate held her hands up in mock surrender, "Fine, but they are," she said. "Tyler's parents, Glenn and Rosalind are exactly what you'd expect with a son like Tyler. Dotting and just all around lovely. Beatrice and Wayne, Pogue's parents, can be apprehensive at first but kind and welcoming all the same. I've never felt like I didn't belong in their space," she smiled fondly. "And Caleb…" she trailed off.
Lena knew what happened to his father, that he was a victim of following the addictive call for power. Allowing it to leech his life and age him the more he used. Dead at forty-four though he looked much older when he willed his power to his son.
Meanwhile, even though Lena had been to the Danvers' home more than a handful of times, she had yet to meet Caleb's elusive mother.
"I met his dad before…" Sarah said quietly. "But I didn't get to know him…and his mom…" she trailed off again. "She's better now, I think. Really she's been mourning longer than Caleb's father's been dead," she said honestly. "Caleb said she's been reconnecting with old friends and traveling more. She's been kind to me…Caleb said she'll be there."
For once talking about Caleb didn't make Lena uncomfortable. Right now she only felt sorrow for him. Not only did he have to carry the weight of being the oldest of a Covenant. He had to carry the burden of his family falling apart. He's only eighteen but how long had he carried this load?
Reid had been right when he told her that Caleb needed to rely on them more.
"You could learn to do the same," Isabel's voice whispered. Lena shot back an irritated, "get lost." She swears she hears Isabel laugh before she imagined a brick wall coming down in her mind.
Lena made a decision there that she would make an effort to really speak to Caleb. He was her friend first and foremost, it was about time she started acting like one and stopped being afraid of the mess that Chase made.
Again, she would not think of him.
"I'm not the only one meeting parents for the first time," she said abruptly. "Abby, you get to meet Tyler's parents. Nervous?"
Abby crossed her arms, "No, because Tyler and I aren't dating. We're just friends."
"But you'd like to be more," Lena bumped her shoulder. Abby's cheeks reddened as Sarah and Kate made oohing sounds. "Nothing's more romantic than a Christmas date, right?"
"He's just being polite," Abby said. "Tyler doesn't like me that way."
Lena, Sarah, and Kate all froze and stared at her as though she had grown two heads.
How in the world did she not know how Tyler absolutely felt for her? It was as obvious as the sky was blue.
"Are you joking?" Sarah finally choked out. "He's completely enamored with you! How can we know this when you're the one that can…well you know!"
Abby's eyes widened a little.
Does she really not know? Lena pondered.
"I…well, I can't tell," she said. "I don't try to feel anyone I usually just do," Abby said. "And with Tyler," she swallowed as the doors to the locker room opened and the swimmers started to enter the pool area, the Sons of Ipswich amongst them. "I only get a sense of calm from Tyler."
Huh… Lena thought. Why is that?
"Well trust us," Kate said. "You could jump him at any given moment and it would be wanted."
Abby's red face darkened. Lena had long wondered what was going on between them and it would seem it was more complicated than she thought. She smiled a little to herself, she couldn't wait to tell Reid, he'd get a kick out of that.
"Let's leave her alone," Lena said, patting her friend on the knee. "But just know he definitely likes you more than you think," she whispered to Abby. "Looks like they're about to start," she said louder for the other two.
Lena sucked in a deep breath as a chill hit her spine. She closed her eyes as she heard the same whispers from before. Not now, she thought as she let the breath go slowly. She would not think of those whispers now.
Quiet came as she opened her eyes again. Instantly finding Reid watching her.
"You good?" he mouthed. Lena nodded.
"Good luck," she mouthed, smiling. He smiled slightly and shook his head.
"Don't need it," he mouthed back before turning to the conversation before him.
Tonight she would be normal. Tonight she would cheer for her friends and not worry about life and death being at her fingertips. Tonight she would not worry about her friend's safety. Tonight she would listen to Sarah and Kate tell Abby what color her dress should be. Tonight she would be normal.
Tomorrow she would worry. Tomorrow she would tell them. Tomorrow she would tell them everything she knew and thought she knew. Tomorrow she would tell them of the voice. Tomorrow she would reach out to Caleb. Tomorrow she would rely on them to solve this horror with her. Tomorrow she would trust them with it all completely.
Every horrible detail.
But tonight…tonight she would do what Isabel wanted her to do. Tonight she would choose to live.
I know, I'm a good 2 years late on that update. Between loss of motivation, depression, and completely being unhappy with what I initially had written I took some time. I'm so so sorry for that! In any case, I hope that you enjoy this!
I hope you're all doing well! Take care and I love you.
Review me, maybe?
-TR
