To my readers, thank you.
CHAPTER 10
TROUBLE
On a long exhale, Bella closed her eyes, and tilted her head back into the lukewarm spray. Counter to what was wise, her thoughts were running wild, her mind replaying that reckless moment in the hallway.
Oh, why did she just stand there, staring at Carlisle with scarcely veiled hunger? That he had discerned her lustful thoughts was without question. His startled look and the subsequent darkening of his eyes were confirmation enough.
A groan rose in her throat. Her hand came to rest on the water-speckled wall.
If her racy thoughts had been fleeting, it would have been one thing. But as it was, Bella was still thinking of him, of their one and only night together.
"Isabella…" Ah, the breathless way he had said her name. If she focused hard enough, she could almost feel the ghost of his touch, exploring her body in all the right ways.
Life could certainly be strange at times, full of startling moments when one's understanding flips, and newfound realizations come to light. For Bella, just such a moment was unfolding.
She was attracted to Carlisle.
Oh God.
She was engaged to Edward. Carlisle was her future brother-in-law. She had no business thinking of him in that way. Yet here she was, doing exactly that.
A wave of guilt overtook her, and she shut off the water before grabbing a towel and stepping out of the shower.
Once she had towel-dried her hair and body, Bella made for her dresser where she opted for simple cotton underthings, a white t-shirt, and jean shorts. After donning her clothes, Bella plopped down on the edge of her bed, and pressed the heels of her hands to her eye-sockets.
She was in trouble. Deep and sultry trouble.
Hours passed. It was nearing seven in the evening. Bella and Edward were relaxing in one of the home's many living-rooms. Edward with a book, and Bella with a magazine that she had been flipping through without really paying attention.
"Penny for your thoughts." Her fiancé's words drew her out of her musings.
"You want to know my thoughts?" Bella stalled by saying, then flipped to another page.
"You've been a million miles away today. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah. Everything's fine." The lie bothered her, but Bella couldn't exactly share her thoughts with Edward. That she was attracted to his brother, and had inadvertently revealed that fact to him.
Edward said, "I know things have been strained lately. I acted like a jerk. With you. With Carlisle. I want you to know that I'm sorry. Truly. I won't let it happen again."
Bella gave a nod. "I appreciate that."
"Come here," Edward said just then, holding his arm in an invitation for her to snuggle in close. She did. Though it should have been comforting, Bella found she couldn't relax in his arms. When Edward kissed the top of her head, she closed her eyes before shifting and seeking his gaze.
She said, "Kiss me."
Whether she was seeking normalcy, or was simply trying to erase her lingering guilt, Bella couldn't really say.
With a softening gaze, Edward regarded her before nodding. When he leaned into the kiss, she sighed, and linked her hands at the nape of his neck.
As the moment stretched on, Bella gave herself to the moment by clinging to some of their best memories—like those afternoons in the meadow, and the first time she had seen him in the sun.
Despite her best efforts, however, her thoughts kept on straying, filling her mind with visions of the one man she shouldn't have been thinking of.
Carlisle.
Carlisle kissing her.
Carlisle nuzzling her cheek as he breathed her name.
For fuck's sake, Bella!
But it was no use.
Her heart beating a mile a minute, Bella severed the kiss, and leaned her forehead against Edward's.
Would he know? Could he guess her thoughts?
But Edward only smiled. "I can't wait to marry you." He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Seeing you walk down the aisle… I'll be the luckiest guy on the planet."
His words should have been heartwarming, but they weren't. In truth, they only made her feel worse. Faking a small smile, Bella lowered her gaze, and said nothing.
