CHAPTER 33 The Truth is Always Fair
I'm careful not to look back.
The muck curdles as I drag my shoes across Rocco's green doormat. I nervously tug on my hair and wipe the sweat from my hands before entering.
The restaurant is just as empty as the first time. The only sign of life comes from the waiter I met before and the heart that's beating against my bones.
"Hello, signorina. It is nice to see you again. You should not have any interruptions today. He is waiting for you in the back," His voice falters at the sight of someone walking in after me.
It's Jake.
I cringe when the older man straightens his waistcoat.
How stupid of me to think he would listen. This was supposed to be the easy part, in and out. This is the part where I tell you to cover your eyes and you do it.
"And you are?" He looks over his glasses at Jake's massive frame taking over the entryway.
Jake rushes past before the maitre d' can finish his appraisal.
"Sir!"
His roguish ways manifest in broad steps and rushing momentum. Though he's already made his way to the table, I can't get there fast enough.
I almost trip running after him. There are legs sticking out everywhere. It's like I'm in the middle of a stampede when I falter in my conviction, running into the chairs and bumping a table.
Edward giggles and leans back into the half booth. "And just when I thought my day was going so well." As if the sudden invasion was a warm hello, he greets my cage-rattled appearance, "Hi, my sweet. Relax, sit down."
Jake violently pulls out the seat directly across from him and plops down.
Edward rolls his eyes and tossed what appears to be a diamond necklace into a sea of jewels on the table. "I don't believe the invitation had a plus one."
This was a bad idea. Edward is half dead. Jake's crushing gaze gives me a sick taste in my mouth. My thinking is unsteady and impatient.
Edward scratches his jaw, eyes half closed. "Anybody want a menu?"
The awkward silence eats the table.
"This shouldn't take too long. I asked him to wait in the car but," I cleared my throat and chanced a nervous glance at Jake. "We'll be gone soon enough. I'm sure you could really use some rest."
"Yet you brought him here, so by all means… Have a seat, Bella."
He's still a little green from his injuries and in no shape to fight. The light seems to be coming back to his hair but his eyes look a bit more dull than before. His white button-down looks clean, but wrinkled and barely held closed by a handful of buttons. His movements are small and careful.
I'm feeling a bit hyper-focused.
I pinch Jake's sleeve between my fingers, tug, and let go when his murderous glare turns on me. My eyes are trained on his unsettled hands that dwarf the table settings.
One of his knees is bobbing on its own time. The flutter of it matches the tennis ball of turmoil bouncing in my gut.
It's unnaturally quiet when I pull out the chair next to Jake and cautiously inch down to the table.
I don't think a white flad has ever looked so ugly.
Edward overlooks my anxiety, extending his weak hand to play with a thin, gold bracelet that's sprawled on the table. "Well, what do you have for me?"
I unzip my jacket and nearly rip the ledger from my pocket. My tremoring fingers flutter the leather binding by the spine in a fanning motion. "See. Everything's done. Just like I promised."
He doesn't reach for it at all. Edward barely glances at the book. All I can hear are the delicate pages breathing in my nervous hand.
"That was fast work, Bella." His grin grows to a subtle smile of contentment. "How did you do it?"
I place the ledger on the table in front of me, gently, careful to not wake the voices.
This was supposed to be the part where we say ok, thanks, get up, and leave.
The timing is always haunting me. Why isn't this over? Why do you need more?
I shake my head in warning. "Can't you just say 'thank you', and be done with this?"
The voices are threatening to come back and sing the usual tune of delirium. Why do I still have to dodge the voices that scream my failures? It's endless and cruel. It's the thing that keeps me under.
"Thank you." His lips twitch like he's itching in amusement, "I mean I know you kinda got caught," He glances in Jake's direction, "But come on, was it exhilarating? Did you tiptoe through hell?"
I can see Jake's chest swelling in my peripheral. His face is so tight on top of the crisp features.
"Well, I hope you enjoy disappointment because it was one of those 'in plain sight' moments. Now everyone thinks I work for you. I kinda fucked myself."
"Should you really care? They did steal it." Edward's eyes squint looking over at Jake. "A bit self-righteous, don't you think?"
I clack my teeth at the careless line of questioning.
Edward clicks his teeth in the air between us suggesting, "It comes with the territory. I knew you wouldn't get away with it unscathed. Which is why I brought this," He gestures to the expensive stones sprawled over the tablecloth. It's the least I could do for the trouble. My family received all of its possessions and I'd like to thank you."
I observe the opulent table and lean away before the sight costs me more of my dignity and Jake's patience.
"See anything you'd like to keep?" Edward readjust himself, leaning forward to push the stash in my direction. " Might take the edge off, make it worth your while…"
From the silence, I'm forced to take a second look.
What would I do with any of this?
The stones glisten in the dim lighting. Their reflection dances off of the surrounding silverware. There are things so beautiful on this table, they belong in a museum. Everything within reach is beyond me. None of it looks like it would ever be worn here in Forks.
My eyes are drawn to a set of obscure, onyx pieces encrusted in peculiar copper settings. They resemble Jake's passionate eyes. Cufflinks? Earrings?
"No thank you."
Now let this be the end of it.
I slide the leather book across the table but it's stopped halfway on its journey. Jake's hand intercedes, rests over mine, and pulls the ledger back towards me.
Edward pinches the bridge of his nose angrily asking, "What are you here for, to witness the handoff, kill the moment?"
"Among other things," Jake's voice trailing into a dangerous place as he lines up the antique silverware on his placemat. His fingers go back to lightly rest on the knives then reposition the oyster fork
The tiny fork with long, sharp tines gives stabby vibes. I'm afraid Edward will lose an eye if we sit here any longer.
"Please, Jake," I hiss between stressed lips. The spoon is starting to look like a knife.
His raven black hair blocks me from seeing his entire expression but he's put out with me. I can tell by the way he's staring Edward down, the fuse is short. Anything is possible.
"What exactly was the deal between you and Bella?"
Readjusting his IV, Edward's infuriating half-grin playfully lulls into a poker face. "I don't believe that's any of your business. My deal, as you said, is with Bella."
"My wife is my business."
"Wife? You're marrying him!" Edward's voice bounces off the chandelier and nearly echoes throughout every empty wine glass.
My entire body goes stiff. "Jake, why– this isn't the—" time or the place for this! Not right now, this wasn't the time to tell him! It's none of his business.
"Married. She belongs to the pack. Now answer the fucking question."
I can't look anyone in the eye. I almost got away with it all. It was almost over.
Jake has sent this whole discussion into another realm. I'm made out to be a liar and a cheat within moments. It only took one word.
"A ledger for a life," Edward announces over my fervor.
"Her life is not for sale."
"It wasn't hers she was begging for. If I'd known she was making such grave deals with 'the pack', I never would've agreed to it." He cuts into my sights to stare deep into my eyes, "But a deal is a deal isn't it."
I swallow the lump in my throat.
Does that mean the deal is off?
Edward's fingers run through his damp hair. "I had no idea you were part of the treaty now. I guess you left that part out. I'm hurt, Bella. This feels like a betrayal."
He's trying to plant guilt but, "Betrayal is a strong word." I turn my head away from the table when the silence threatens to expose me.
Betrayal is a stretch but the unpredictable retaliation isn't. Everything is about to backfire. I gave him the ammunition he needs to destroy everything I have.
I'm at my limit, the point where I normally disassociate from the reality of things. I check out and become invisible as my life implodes. I was never good at lying.
I hate the satisfaction this gives him.
I can barely blink. It's like looking through a fisheye lens.
All types of scenarios are running through my head. None of the safe ones involve me telling the truth.
I've played by your rules. I've shown my cards. You got what you wanted. You knew I was with Jake. Why do you care?
This was your game from the very beginning, to catch me in a lie in front of Jake. Strip me down until I reach out and call your name, a game of mercy.
"So since we're here, can you tell me why Sam is saying my dad is running one of your ships? That was not part of the deal we made."
"That's because he is. It's a precaution, no lies or tricks. I didn't know if things would work out in the end. If you got caught I didn't want the blowback on you."
"So my dad was gonna be the fall guy?" My brain fails to catch up to the dominos I set in motion. "I guess you left that part out!"
Whether it be blame or distrust, the thought of Edward playing with pieces of my life rattle me.
I'm not the only one withholding information. I'm not the only one who's wrong.
My lips barely part when I murmur, "You haven't been honest with me either, but a deal is a deal."
"You don't have to think that far now. Charles Swan came out on top with a higher-paying gig and you can think of the ship as protection, insurance. He was never going to be around to face any consequences. Everybody wins. Why don't you try on a pair of earrings or a tennis bracelet? It'll take the edge off, I promise."
"No thanks. I can do without the distractions when it comes to you."
"Don't be like that. He's a nice guy, told me to call him Charlie. Kinda odd like you but shifty enough to fit in with the rest of the crew."
You son of a bitch. I was never winning this game. There is no out.
"What are you trying to do?" My voice breaks in the worst moment.
"I'm trying to be thoughtful and considerate. I would like to offer something in return. Can I interest you in monetary compensation, maybe stockholder shares? Charlie should have his own dividends coming his way at the end of the quarter."
"No, you've done enough." I nearly bit a chunk out of my jaw. The mention of Charlie sends a chill down my spine. He's a drunk that can't keep his days straight. He has absolutely no idea.
"Well, I'll think of something you can't resist. I always do." Edward's teasing tone is not lost on the table.
Jake looks at me when Edward's lips part. It's enough to make anybody draw the worst conclusions. Edwards tongue takes a suggestive swipe and Jake's face contorts like he is sitting on coals.
The heat is threatening to make the whole table set on fire. His tanned skin looks singed. Everything about him looks uncontrolled.
It's pure rage an inch away from the butter knife and my forearm. Jake's fists are vibrating. His chin lowers and the clouds start to come in from outside.
My neck nearly snaps in half when Edward calls my name again.
"You're gonna be the death of me, Bella, you know that. I can't keep up. You're just full of surprises." He glares at me before readjusting the IV that's attached to his arm. "When did you get married?"
I place my hand over Jake's thigh, trying to pull him out of the trap he's walked into. "I think we've overstayed our welcome. This is over." The frustration bleeds into my words.
Jake's still staring at him, unmoved. His dark eyes look lost or shut off, like he's seen the other side of this twisted maze we're in.
Edward recklessly goads him, snapping his fingers in the air, "Is there something else you want to ask me? Something you want to get off your chest?"
"Stay away from my wife. Otherwise, you and your family won't like what comes next." His dead voice is a promise.
Edward hasn't batted an eye. Instead, he ignores the warning and dares to lean toward me. "You couldn't have thought that was a good idea. Was it under duress? Married, like, help me understand. It's never too late."
"Edward, just stop." He's threatening to pull the shirt off my back with all the thorns that threaten to skin me alive. I'll be down to my bones if he asks anymore.
Edward's third-wheel treatment is escalating the conversation. Jake and I have already tried to walk through together but I'm getting lost in the twists and turns of the fake pathways.
I foolishly chose the path of least resistance and it's lead to a bloodsport.
I want to leave, right now. I'm not made for this maze. Where is the exit?
"Jake, let go of the table." I reach out to place my hand along his arm. I make a path of my own along his thick muscles to the spaces in between his fingers. I'm willing to turn around and go back the way we came in. Just take my hand.
I'm desperate to feel his indestructible composure as I delve into the heat, searching for the root of his labyrinth.
"Please, Jake." I rub back and forth, trying to put the velvet glove back on the iron fist. Carry us out.
The longer we sit here, the more I think we won't leave quietly.
"He can't even control himself. You have to literally hold his hand. Tell me, Bella, what has he offered you besides the false sense of security that you begged me to uphold? And for what, so you can console him while he's writing more checks that his ass can't cash?"
To hell with an exit plan.
I toss the book at Edward and stand up to leave. "Don't start the egotistical bullshit."
"How long have you been married?"A glimpse of cruel intentions and hurt maim his face into something hideous. "What can he give you? What can he make you feel that I can't? He lets you drive around in that piece of shit rust bucket. He clothes you in dangerous symbolism. He has you crying and begging over him. Maybe he should hear it from me; he's not good enough. He can't take care of you."
"And you're better? You're perfect, right? Stabbed up, attached to an IV, barely lucid, patiently waiting for me to bring you the book that buys you out of trouble. I can get all of that and more from my despicable father. The only difference between you and him is a checkbook. What can you give me? How can I feel anything from you? It's the same shit all over again." My forceful words threaten to draw squiggly lines through my peaceful plan.
"When!"
"That is none of your business. It doesn't matter. Jake is my husband. I love my husband. You didn't have all the details but I thought I made myself clear. I owe you nothing. Me bringing this ledger to you was mutually beneficial. We settled the deal the moment I walked in with it."
"It's settled when I say it's settled. All of it matters. But since you put it that way, I've got an even better question." He turns his strained attention to Jake, sarcastically asking, "Do you want to know how she persuaded me to help you?"
The dreaded dagger has made its appearance. It's rusty and jagged.
"You didn't tell him, did you?" Edward sarcastically rolls his eyes. "Have I stumbled upon another one of your secrets? Well, I doubt he could handle it."
The contempt pricks the bottom of my feet. I've hit another wall. I can't take anymore jeering. I would hurl myself through concrete to make this stop.
"What is he talking about, Bella?" Jake's voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard. It makes my teeth hurt; the way he looks at me for directions as the vines threaten to make me a part of the landscape. This maze is wicked.
"Tell him, Bella." Edward's vines twist around my throat like tourniquets. "Make sure you start after the part where you cried for my help."
Tell him how we can get out of here if I get down on my knees and lick the poisonous oak again.
I'd rather forfeit whatever I had to gain. I'd rather "Stop."
"Tell him. You'll finally be able to feel something."
You don't know what you're saying… you have no idea what he will do…
I warn him again. You're playing the game with the wrong person."You don't know what you're doing. This won't end the way you want." This is reckless.
"Do you really know your 'wife', Jacob?"
"You have no idea what you're about to do! Jake, please, let's go." My eyes flare in panic.
"He should know, so he can leave." Edward bangs on the table with a sledging palm. "Wake up, Bella. This is my big chance. I can finally have what I want. This is the perfect time for Jacob to walk away. After she fed me dinner—"
I reach across the table, swiping at the thin air. Something about his face makes me claw violently. I want to rip his lips off. I'm nearly doubled over the table snatching for contact with his skin.
Jake yanks me back down to my seat.
"We have a deal between us!" I can't stop myself before the words are hurled across the table. This is not supposed to be happening. Nobody was supposed to find out. This was to be taken to the depths of my grave.
Nobody was supposed to get hurt.
"I don't fight fair. You should know that by now." It's the resigned shrug of his weak shoulders that make me want to scream.
Edward slowly leans toward Jake, mock whispering, "I like to watch her lips quiver. When her brows furrow, and she's begging, and the uncontrolled craving sets in, it makes my back sweat and my palms ache. Has she kissed you while she sticks her fingers inside your deepest knife wounds? She likes to rip into the flesh as she swirls her tongue."
His hysterical laugh drives Jake over the edge.
The sound is like a crash on impact as he bashes Edward's head against the table again and again. A full speed train wreck on repeat while I'm glued to the upholstered chair. The jewels jump like popcorn and the wine glasses kiss the carpet to pieces.
Edward's still laughing, half of his face smashed into the table. "I wanted to see that look on your face when you found out. How does it feel to know that she needed me?" He grabs a steak knife but Jake is already a step ahead of him. He yelps and grits his teeth in pain when the IV is torn out of his arm.
"Jake, stop!"
The waiter probably already made a call. The Cullens can't be far. I don't want to be here when they walk through the door.
"Listen to your wife, Jacob. You wouldn't want your pack to suffer the consequences." Edward's groan turns into a gurgle as his breathing is restricted to the space between his lips and the tablecloth.
"Nothing happened, nothing! It was nothing. Jake, no! You can't — Don't break the treaty. Don't do this. It was one kiss. It was nothing!"
"Shut the hell up or I'll break his fucking neck." His arms flex and his hands wring Edward's throat.
I need a do over. I take it all back. I made the wrong decision.
Edward is almost blue. His nose is bleeding and disjointed but he hasn't tapped out.
"What is it, Bella? Why do you care about him? For the life of me, I can't understand why you can't leave him alone. Why does he matter?" It's as if Jake is asking me 'Who are you when you're with him?'
"Jake, you have to let him go. We can still fix this."
"Why!"
"In some ways we're the same. I thought I had everything figured out. I don't have feelings for him. I thought I understood him, what he wanted. I thought I could help you." My lips quiver over the words.
"See, that's everybody's problem. You think I care about a fucking treaty. You think I'm scared of this piece of shit and his family?" His hands and tone are steady but his face tells a different story.
I've hurt him.
This is my fault and I would be a fool to believe this is my only punishment.
I wrap myself around Jake's back, rubbing along his shoulders and around his sides. " I need you to let him go. I need you to stop because I care about our family." I rest my head on his spine for balance. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jake. I'm sorry." I sob over and over.
For a moment, the tension breaks and the energy drains into the floor. I rock on the balls of my feet and let the familiar sensation take over.
He is still mine.
He releases Edward and tears my arms away.
I stumble backwards into a table right before he walks toward the entrance.
It's silent when I get in the car.
Thank you for reading! I hope this wasn't hard to get through…*cough cough* Pumpkin spice… pumpkin spice is everywhere already! Anybody else on the way to Trader Joe's? *nervously laughs*
I was wondering, would you guys rather an update for 1-800-I'm About to get Fired or should I keep going with this? Anyway…Pumpkin spice!
