1. My friend Lavinia
Jessie was worried about Lavinia. Her friend had been exhibiting some confusing behavior over the past few weeks, cheerful and cuddly one day, harsh and abusive on others. And whenever the word fell on Sarah, she seemed to fly into a rage, especially when Sarah was supposed to lead the girls on the way to church, which had previously been Lavinia's privilege. Then, four days ago there had been an argument between Lavinia and Sarah and Lottie, during which Lavinia had even hit Lottie. And yesterday, when Jessie had gone to visit Lavinia in her room in the morning, she had found her collapsed on the floor, laughing and crying at the same time, shouting things like "How can I be here!" or "What did I do to deserve this!" or "Why!". Neither Jessie nor Miss Minchi had been able to calm her down and finally the principal had sent for a doctor.
He had examined Lavinia, given her valerian drops and then told Miss Minchi and the anxiously waiting girls that it was probably only a short hysterical fit as a result of late puberty and not to worry, it would pass quickly after some bed rest. Miss Minchi had accepted that, after all Lavinia was the oldest student at the boarding school. She had tucked Lavinia into bed and Jessie had volunteered to bring her lunch in the morning. As a result, she had had to listen to a lecture from the headmistress about why that was not the behavior of a well-bred lady and that such tasks were to be done by the service staff. So Becky had brought Lavinia the food and Jessie had had to wait and was only now on her way to her friend's room.

She knocked. "Lavinia?" "Who is it?" Even her voice sounded different. On any other day, it would have been a demand, a desire to know who wanted into her room. Now it sounded questioning, vulnerable. "It's me, Jessie." "Jessie? Please come in. I need to talk to you." Now Jessie was really worried. What had happened to her friend?
She opened the door. Lavinia's room was very neat as usual, every thing in its place, her favorite pictures of the "English Rose" hanging on the wall. Her room was no larger and furnished exactly like Jessie's, but Lavinia had given the room an air of luxury and taste that Jessie had always
admired. The occupant of the room herself lay in her bed, propped up on several pillows, dressed in a frilly nightgown.
"Jessie. Hi. Please sit down." She pointed to the foot of her bed. Jessie sat down, with a queasy feeling in her stomach. Lavinia acted much more considerate, much less brash and demanding than usual. "Lavvie... What happened? Are you feeling better?"
"I don't really want to talk about it. But I'm getting better." Lavinia took a breath. "And I realized something." She shifted back and forth on the bed until she sat upright.
"I realized I was a pretty terrible person." Jessie wanted to protest but Lavinia raised her hand. "Please let me talk and just listen. I just need to say that." Jessie closed her mouth and looked at Lavinia, waiting. She had no idea what was coming now. Lavinia took another breath. "Yesterday, I realized exactly that. I've been thinking about my behavior over the past week. I asked myself if I would like a person who acted like me, and I have to say that I would find such a person obnoxious.
And why would other people feel differently about me? First of all, there is Sarah. In the beginning, I still thought I could help her as a mentor. But I didn't really want to help her, I just wanted to show how exemplary I am. And when I saw how much better she had it, I became jealous. She's
richer, friendlier, and has easily made everyone like her. And why? Because she's just a good person, something I never was, can't be. And instead of learning from her or just avoiding her, I've always tried to make her worse somehow because I couldn't be better. Mocked her and her fantasies
or accused her of wrongdoing. And did she ever resent me for that? Has she only once met me the way I met her? No.
She only got angry once, and rightly so, and that was after the thing with Lottie." Lavinia took another deep breath. "I was angry and sad and had hidden in the classroom to cry. Lottie had found me by accident and because she doesn't know yet that sometimes someone wants to be left alone when they cry, she tried to comfort me. I told her to go away, but she kept trying to help me. And I slapped her. Jessie, I slapped a twelve year old girl because she tried to comfort me. What the hell is wrong with me!" Jessie was shocked. She had never heard anyone swear like that before, certainly not Lavinia. "Sarah had every reason to get mad with me, and even then it was only a mild reprimand compared to what anyone else would have done. And instead of apologizing I started making fun of her again."
Jessie, while shocked at what had actually happened in the classroom, felt that Lavinia had acted out of affect, not malice. But when she was about to say that, Lavinia raised her hand again. "And there is a third thing. You Jessie and how I've treated 've been friends for years now, but I've come to realize that I've never really treated you like a friend. More like a cross between a lady-in- waiting and a pet. I never helped you with your problems, I never waited on you, and I always
expected you to always do just that for me. I did not even take into consideration how you felt. Yet you have always faithfully stood by my side, always supported me, helped me, and dealt with my problems. And did I ever thank you? No. I am an egoist who has never thought of others in any way and therefore why should anyone think of me. If I don't want to die alone and bitter, I have to change and that's what I'm going to do."
Jessie was speechless. She had not expected that. Lavinia had always been so self-confident, even self-assured. Sure, now and then she had acted a little too firmly, or pushed Jessie's problems aside. But she had never really found it personal or hurtful. That was just the way Lavinia was, and she liked being her friend. She had to say something. She couldn't let her friend think she was being taken advantage of. Lavinia was not a bad person! She had to change her mind. She raised to speak, "Lavinia, even if you don't feel good right now, you're not an egotist and..."
"Jessie, what you're saying is absolute bullshit." Jessie was shocked. Lavinia had never mouthed such words before. "Remember last week when, because of my envy that Sarah already had a personal maid, I had challenged you to fix my hair just like I would have with a maid?
"Yes, you were unhappy with your hair and wanted me to redo it three times." "Exactly. And when you comb your hair in the evening for your daily grooming, have I ever helped you or even kept you company?"
"You said it was too boring for words."
"Exactly! Of course it's boring. But instead of helping you like a friend and therefore just sitting it out, I only thought about myself and left you sitting there.
And whenever you tried to talk about something that interested you but not me, I stifled you or even ordered you to be silent. Whenever you tried to talk to Sarah instead of me, I acted out my envy on you and treated you unfairly. And always only because I was offended. I never gave a thought to you or your feelings. Remember what happened just after the diamond mines. You wanted to deepen your friendship with Sarah and I called you a toady for it. And in the end, I made you apologize. Face it, I was a shitty friend and a really bad bitch. And I finally realized it myself.
I'm... I'm really sorry."

If the previous words had shocked Jessie, the last ones themselves were now beyond anything she could have imagined. And the worst of it was... Lavinia was right. She wanted to deny it, but her friend had treated her anything but fairly. But none of this was but a great crime. Even if Lavinia had not treated her like a friend, none of that would stop anyone from liking her. She was, after all, still the pinnacle of polite behavior, a perfect lady. And her
father's heiress. Just because of that, Lavinia wouldn't die alone after all. It was just the seizure again. An apology, and she could forgive her. She liked to be her friend in spite of everything. She just didn't know what Lavinia was getting at with her confession. She was right, but what exactly was she going to do about it? Lavinia seemed to have guessed her thoughts. "Jessie, I want to apologize to you. As I said, I have been a bad friend. I want to ask your forgiveness for that, and I hereby vow to make amends to you." Jessie had known. Despite everything, Lavinia was still the girl who had helped her after she arrived at boarding school. But Lavinia wasn't done yet. "After everything that's happened in the last few weeks, I would completely understand if you didn't want to be my friend anymore. I... could keep my distance and let you..."
"NO!" blurted out Jessie. Lavinia looked at her in suprise. Jessie collected herself and continued: "Lavinia, I'm really grateful that you finally saw that you weren't always the best friend, apologized and want to be better. But you're not the worst person or friend in the world and right now that's very selfish again."
Lavinia was about to say something, but this time Jessie cut her off. "You may think that we shouldn't be friends anymore, but that's just your opinion. I always knew you were a good person at your core. Remember when we first met. I was just a completely homesick girl who was fascinated by the older, noble girl and followed her everywhere. And instead of being angry with me or making sure I would leave you alone, you accepted me as a friend. You helped me when I had no money to still look presentable. You taught me how to act my best. It's also the only reason I have good grades in etiquette. I like you Lavinia and I will remain your friend. I'm not going to give up on you just because you were rude and self-righteous a few times!"
Lavinia stared at her with her mouth open. Then she said, "We have different opinions about how selfless I was to you. But you're right. It would be very selfish to break up our friendship just because I don't think I'm good enough as a friend. If you want to continue being my friend, then I am willing to be yours. But I will do better. I promise you that."
Jessie wanted to dance with relief. Lavinia was still her friend and would remain so. She still had hope for her help towards her parents. To bridge her train of thought, she asked, "So what are you going to do?"
"Apologize to Sarah, Lottie, Ermengard and Beckie for my behavior. Write a letter to my father about my problems. Going out to buy something. And meanwhile, to always try not to act like the old bad Lavinia." She hesitated. "And I'd like your help with that. Would you help me?" Jessie had to smile. Lavinia would never have asked before. She seemed to really want to make an effort. She stood up. "Of course Lavvie. But please excuse me, I have to get back to class." She walked to the door and was about to leave the room. "Jessie?" She turned to Lavinia once more. "Yes?" "Tonight. May I come over and keep you company while you comb your hair?" "Of course you may." Jessie left her best friend's room smiling softly. Lavinia really wanted to get better.

Heres the first chapter. The story is mainly following the plot of the Hanako Games Visual Novel "A little lilly princess", but will also feature Characters from the original Novel.

I own nothing. A huge thanks to Hanako Games for making this new story based on a wonderful children story.