When night falls

Shizuo had a girlfriend. His first one. She was pretty, flat chested and wore too much make up, but she was a beauty. Her name was Kanra. She had long black hair and murky dark eyes. She wore a sweet scent and her kisses were enchanting.

They'd been dating for three months. The movie and dinner but they hadn't crossed that line. Shizuo had been too much of a coward and Kanra didn't seem in a hurry to rush their relationship. In fact she hadn't wanted to stay over.

Lately his girlfriend had felt distant. Shizuo grimaced at the thought and the one that followed. She was getting bored of him. Shizuo checked his phone and sure enough the number of messages had dwindled and lately they'd been one word answers.

So when she sat down and gave him the it's not you it's me speech, he was ready. It was the pronouns. He knew it was, he'd told her what he'd been born as, had offered to wear a packer around her.

"You're breaking up with me." Shizuo grumbled.

"I don't want you getting hurt." Kanra said. "I can see ghosts, Shizuo."

"Get out." Shizuo clenched her fists.

"Shizuo-"

"Get out." He snapped. "You want to break up fine. It's done. Get out."

Shizuo went to his room and slammed the door, then he got into bed and cried with a broken heart.

x-x-x

His way of dealing with that was overeating and scrubbing the apartment clean. When he was cleaning the shower, he found a silver ring that didn't belong to him. It belonged to Kanra. She hadn't touched him but would happily use his shower. He hadn't even seen her naked.

Shizuo scowled closing his fingers over the ring. He should give it back, but the heartbreak was too raw, too soon and he couldn't exactly let go. So he slipped the ring onto his finger and got back to cleaning.

x-x-x

Winter was drawing in and the heater was temperamental at best. Or he hadn't patched up the wall he'd punched a hole in properly. Either way there was a lingering cold chill that made him curl up in his bed, covers tight around him. He added a couple of extra blankets and that seemed to do the trick.

x-x-x

Shizuo turned on the shower and let the room fill with heat before stepping in. He preferred it when he couldn't see his surroundings. Shizuo took off his nightwear, briefs and the binder. Stepping into the spray, he hissed as the heated water hit his skin.

"You knew she wouldn't want you." Shizuo grumbled. "You knew from the start." It was almost laughable how the same shit happened again.

His first boyfriend had tried to change him, tried to encourage him into pretty dresses and cosmetic gunk on his face. Every comment or 'present' had pushed a wedge between them, until they'd had an argument and he'd called him a freak.

So at least he hadn't slept with Kanra, at least he hadn't let her see his insecurities during intimacy. At least he couldn't feel her on his skin.

Tom had taken a while to forget. Everything he did, he could hear his ex's rebuttals. His body knew what sex had been and admittedly his ex had been well endowed and knew how to use what Shizuo wished he had. So he knew what he liked and he knew what he'd have to do to get it.

x-x-x

Shizuo supposed he should be glad he and Kanra hadn't worked out. As it was they hadn't agreed to be exclusive. Kanra had her needs and he had his. To fulfil his needs though, he had to go through his own personal hell.

Shizuo opened the drawer holding his most hated possessions and got dressed. The bra was constricting and pushed his breasts up, the panties chafed and the rest of the outfit made him sick to his stomach. The pretty shoes always felt like a walk of shame.

The gunk over his face was too much and the damn mascara ran before he'd finished. Shizuo clenched his fist, glaring at the mirror.

The club he went to catered to his needs. He was a regular, taking the bracelet. Every member was regularly tested and condoms were provided. Shizuo made the familiar path up. The basement was where the active participants were.

Shizuo was there for the dark room. The 'guardian' of the scene signed him in and Shizuo stepped inside. A soundproof cube with no light. No one could see him and he couldn't see who was touching him.

He never had to wait long. A large hand groped his breast, another under the skirt. Shizuo closed his eyes giving into the sensations as he was given what he needed. There was a burn as a thick cock slid into him, but he'd prepared. Their fleeting moment was over and Shizuo left the room, left the club and went home, tearing the scraps from his skin and washing his self loathing down the drain.

x-x-x

Three days after his break up with Kanra, she called. Shizuo flinched seeing her name pop up, a shrill ringtone that he just stared at and let ring. Today wasn't a good day. The heater had packed up, making the apartment feel like an ice box. Thankfully the hot water was still working.

Shizuo was dressed in thermals and thick layers to combat the chills. The phone rang off and then it was off again. Shizuo stared at it, swiping the phone into the bin. The ringtone continued.

His day went from bad to worse on his way to work. His ex. What had he done to deserve that? Shizuo eyed the dreadlocked man and the curvy Russian blonde at his side. That was who he'd wanted him to be. Shizuo shuddered walking away before they noticed him.

Work was the same. Shitty customers. Shizuo handled them, fulfilled the rest of his shift and went home. He didn't eat much, messaged the landlord and crashed wrapped up in all his blankets.

x-x-x

On the fourth day of his and Kanra's breakup, he replaced the clothes he'd torn and went back to the darkroom. Only this time after he was given what he needed, he realised there was extra and shrieked. The 'guardian' had checked him over, tested him for both sexual diseases and pregnancy. The scare had been enough. Shizuo never went back.

He made an online order sitting in his icebox apartment and ignored the phone ringing in the background.

x-x-x

On the fifth day of his and Kanra's breakup, there was a knock at the door. Shizuo checked the peep hole, pain stabbing at him. Kanra. Backing away he went into his room and burrowed under the blankets, wishing she'd leave him alone.

x-x-x

On the sixth day, Shizuo caught a cold. The landlord was supposedly sending someone around. Shizuo called in sick at work. He'd managed to get up to collect his 'discreet' parcel but that was all. His teeth were chattering and he felt so damn weak. The ringing had stopped though. Likely the phone had died.

Shizuo found he couldn't move, his eyes slipped shut and thought that maybe it would be for the best if he didn't wake up at all.

x-x-x

He knew Shizuo would be trouble. His guardians had warned him, told him exactly what Shizuo did to them. They'd warned him to stay away. Izaya had listened. Except he'd lost one of his rings. A ring with a spirit sealed inside it.

He'd allowed Shizuo to kick him out and then he hadn't been able to get back in. His ex hadn't answered the phone when he'd called, hadn't answered the door.

The only place he had managed to corner the maiden was in the sex club Shizuo went to. A club he'd chased him from and still Shizuo hadn't uttered a word. Six days he'd been kept out. Six days Shizuo had been haunted. He felt the moment Shizuo's own power crumbled and he could enter the apartment.

Izaya shivered as he stepped over the threshold. He should've been honest from the start. Should've told Shizuo who he was, what he did and why it was dangerous for them to be together.

He'd known about Shizuo's ex, but it wasn't until he'd seen the man's new girlfriend, that he'd realised just how deep that trauma went. Izaya sighed. He'd learnt more about his ex since they'd broken up, than he'd known when they'd been together.

The spirit had taken over the apartment and his ring was on Shizuo's finger. Izaya bit back a curse seeing his ex lifeless in the bed. He'd handled it all wrong. The spirit had grown powerful after feeding on the maiden, just like his guardians had warned. But the spirit's power source had been cut off and Izaya banished it to deal with another time.

Shizuo's pulse was barely there. Izaya called an ambulance. Hypothermia most likely. He slid the ring from Shizuo's finger and back onto his own hand. "Hang in there, Shizu-chan."

x-x-x

There was a man at his bedside. Shizuo stared at the white ceiling. There was beeping next to him. He turned his head narrowing his focus on the man. "Kanra?" He murmured with a frown. There was something plastic on his face.

"Izaya." The man said, his eyes almost blood red. "We need to talk and this time, I need you to listen, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo bristled at the feminine nickname.

"There was a spirit sealed in my ring. You released it when you put the ring on." Izaya sighed. No Kanra. Shizuo was confused. "You're what is called a maiden. You're a battery for spirits. That's why the one you released almost killed you."

Shizuo frowned. "Ghosts are real?"

"Yes and dangerous if powered up enough. If you were with me then I'd be up against stronger ghosts. My guardians think I'm stupid for being here."

"Why are you?" Shizuo grumbled reaching for the plastic.

"Because you're mine and I'm possessive over what is mine." Izaya shrugged. "I might've agreed not to be exclusive but I was the only one you touched."

Shizuo let that sink in, a blush spreading across his cheeks. "You?"

"The family business is matriarchal. They're not on my back so much if I dress as a woman. So call me as you wish, Kanra or Izaya. I prefer Izaya. But clothes mean nothing."

"We've had sex?"

"Yes, multiple times." Izaya shrugged. "For future reference you can dress how you like."

"We broke up." Shizuo said slowly.

"Yes and look how that turned out. No, you're safer where I can keep an eye on you." Izaya paused. "Does me dressing as a woman bother you?"

"Uh, no."

"Good. Now that the spirit is gone, your nature should heal you quickly. There's more but that can wait."

Shizuo's head ached. He had a boyfriend.

x-x-x

Shizuo trailed behind Izaya, finally seeing his boyfriend's apartment. It wasn't what he expected. His gaze dropped to the short skirt barely covered by Izaya's parka. Almost immediately his boyfriend pulled the wig from his head.

"Interesting design." Shizuo murmured taking off his shoes.

"Wards. This place keeps out ghosts, negativity and my guardians. They won't badger me when I take off the skirt. Make yourself at home. Cakes are on the counter, milkshake in the fridge."

"Where are you going?" Shizuo asked feeling awkward.

"To shower." Izaya shrugged. "Feel free to join me, but know if you initiate anything I won't hold back."

Shizuo stared at his feet. "You didn't use a condom last time."

"Yeah." Izaya blew out a breath. "I was trying to shock you into talking to me. Nothing would've happened. I'm sterile. My guardians made sure of that. Can't have a male continue the precious family line."

"Oh, really?" Shizuo asked fidgeting.

"I have the paperwork and my medical file. I'm completely sterile. I wouldn't have done it otherwise." Izaya shrugged taking his parka off. "Up to you."

Shizuo stuffed his hands in his pockets, fighting the dread quickly setting in. "I can't. I'm-"

"Another time then." Izaya cut him off with a kiss to the lips. "Your room is on the right. There's a door to mine if you need it."

Shizuo felt bad watching Izaya walk away. Turning away he went into the room with his name on the door. There was a box on the bed. Shizuo closed the door and saw Izaya's medical file was already on the bed.

The box was addressed to him, so he tore it open and took out the solid case inside. His legs went weak as he opened the case. Swallowing thickly he sat on the bed and stared.

He had no words. Izaya had gotten him a cock. A fully working prosthetic, if the manual was to be believed. Shizuo ran his fingers over the length. It wasn't overly big, it was likely completely average. Shizuo loved it. It told him all he needed to know.

Shizuo set the case down and crossed to the bathroom where the water was already running. He stripped quickly and stepped inside pressing his boyfriend up against the wall. "Thank you." He breathed kissing Izaya.

"You're welcome. You're in the shower." Izaya met his gaze.

"Yeah, I am." Shizuo steeled himself.

Izaya kissed him. "You sure?"

Shizuo bit his lip. "Yes."

Izaya stared at him and nodded, pressing him against the wall and kissing him stupid. Shizuo gasped as Izaya's fingers moved between his legs. His eyes snapped shut. He liked it a lot. It made him hate himself. Izaya withdrew his fingers. "Do you want to put the thing in first?"

"No." Shizuo decided with heat. "I want you. Now." Water from the shower pelted his head as he kissed Izaya with every drop of passion he possessed. His back rested against the wall, his legs hoisted around Izaya's waist bouncing on his boyfriend's cock. Shizuo moaned his arms wrapped loosely around Izaya's shoulders.

It was just the two of them. Absence had truly made the heart grow fonder. They knew each other's secrets and whatever lay in the future they would face together. No matter how bizarre it sounded.

End