Lisa was standing at the end of the hospital bed, packing up the bag Annabelle had sent for her. In her wildest dreams of having to be admitted now what, four days ago, she never expected to be walking out with a baby. She really didn't, and she now realized that was naive of her, but it just had been the bubble she'd been living under. Now, though, as she looked over at her son, she just couldn't believe the blessing she'd been given. The pregnancy had been brutal, especially at the end, but obviously worth it. He was still sleeping, and she was trying to get packed up before Jack came back upstairs. He'd gone to get her a cup of coffee, not that she'd asked, but he'd felt badly about leaving it down in his truck and didn't want it to get any colder. He'd also forgotten the car seat, something else he'd had to get at Lisa's place. She thought back to that conversation with the doctor.
"It looks like you are both ready to go home," he'd told her yesterday. "John is doing well, weight is stable, but again, don't be surprised if he loses a few ounces. That's normal right away, but he will gain it back. You, Lisa," he told her, "prescription in for your blood pressure meds. I'm giving you a 10-day supply for now, but you need to pick up that script. We need that blood pressure back down. It's still too high."
"Alright," she had told him, and she'd looked to Jack and then back to the doctor. "Ahh, this sounds silly, and I feel stupid for asking it, but tomorrow, we can just leave here with him?"
The doctor chuckled a little and nodded, a warm smile on his face, "Yes, you've filled out his paperwork, and you even have all of that set for his passport. You two have done all of that, and tomorrow, you just need to bring in his car seat. The nurses on the floor are trained in car seat installation and proper fitting. They will show you where the straps need to be and how to make sure he's secure. Once all of that is done, you will be good to go."
"Okay," she nodded quickly and looked to Jack. "The actual car seat is in my car at Fairfield. Yours just has the base."
"That's fine," he nodded, looking to the doctor. "Won't be a problem, doc. I'll have it here tomorrow. Lise," he looked back to her, "if you just send me with your keys, I'll get the seat."
Now, she was waiting for him to bring up the car seat and the coffee, surprised he'd forgotten both. He usually was good at details like this.
Lisa threw a few more things in her bag, moving slowly, but moving okay. What a difference a few days had made. She was starting to feel human again, and getting out of the hospital would definitely help that. She couldn't wait for the fresh air. Lisa was dressed in her maternity dress, the same one she'd worn to the horse auction. It was comfortable, and it fit. Instead of being tight like it had been just several days Annabelle had taken care of the laundering of it, and she was forever grateful to her for that, as well as packing up a bag of things for John, again something Lisa hadn't thought to do. She'd brought one bag, a bag of a few of her things, and that had been it. She knew she could have tried to describe things to collect to Jack, but he didn't know the room layout or anything yet regarding clothing, whereas she and Annabelle had enjoyed going through all of the clothes after they'd been washed.
Jack walked back into the room, trying to be quiet with John sleeping. He'd been a pretty quiet baby the first couple of days, but it was clear he was beginning to find his lungs. It was still about a shrill of a sound as Lisa had heard; it would take some getting used to that.
"Sorry about leaving everything in the truck," Jack told her as he put the coffees down on the small table. "He still sleeping?"
"Yes," she said, glancing to the seat. "That seat looks so big for him. He was only 19.5 inches long and six pounds even. He's like a bag of sugar or something."
Jack looked to the seat and nodded too, "I suppose that's why there are different strap settings here," he pointed at it. "Glad the nurse will show us where to adjust everything."
"Ahh, my hairbrush," she said aloud and looked around, seeing it over at the sink. She walked over to get it.
"Lise, why don't you take a second and have your coffee. He's asleep, and they have told you to rest when he's sleeping."
"I am just ready to get home, Jack," she sighed. "I want to have everything ready to go. I'm tired, yes, but at this point, I want to go home."
"Well, I've told you that you can come back to Heartland for awhile where we can help. I-" he started to say, but she snapped.
"I don't want to go back to Heartland, Jack! Fairfield is my home. That's where I live. I want to go home. I've got everything set up for John there. It's always been the main point of contention-you live at Heartland with the girls, and I'm at Fairfield. I don't want to have a household full of people hovering. I want John to settle, and I want to get some rest," she said in a harsh tone and closed her eyes and looked away when she had finished. She felt horrible when she heard John whimper and let out a single shrill cry. Both turned toward him.
He didn't make another sound and seemed to want to go back to sleep. The two were silent, just waiting and watching to see what he would do. After several seconds and not another sound, she looked back to Jack and pursed her lips.
"I'm sorry I yelled," she told him, the tone much better and voice much softer.
He nodded, accepting her apology, but he looked right at her, "He's my baby too, Lisa, and I am not looking to be like, ahh, Peter," he spit out. "I don't want to just pop in our have him once in a blue moon. Peter is never around, and that's not my business, but it's what we both see. I am never going to be a Tim and just up and disappear. We have to figure this out. I was trying to offer help by suggesting you come to Heartland for a few days. If you are set on going home, I want to help you. We just need to figure out what that is."
"Fine," she agreed, looking to the floor and crossing her arms. "It's going to be late afternoon today. Can we take this one day at a time right now? I can't predict how this is going to go, but for today, can we just get him home," she paused when she saw almost a hurt in his eyes, "to Fairfield," she amended, "and get him settled. I'd like to just get him settled and get some rest myself. I don't want an audience or company—"
"I'm not company," Jack interjected, a stern tone of his own.
"I know," she acknowledged. "Can we just do that today?"
"We can do that, but we can't avoid this, and he's going to have to spend time with each of us, Lisa. That is something we both have to accept and will have to face that hard reality," he pleaded with her. She rubbed her temple again; the headache was better each day, but still there. Jack gestured at her, "I know you still aren't feeling the best, and you probably won't for some time even. We'll get you home, get John settled, and get you situated, but I'm going to be coming around, and he's going to have to spend some time at Heartland too, not a few weeks from now, but very soon."
"Okay, Jack," she sighed, raising her hand to plead with him to stop. "I know."
"Are your bags ready?" Jack asked, trying to diffuse the situation. She looked around, zipped up her last bag, and she nodded to him.
"Yes, this is all ready. I didn't have a diaper bag packed yet for John, so I will do that when I get home," she explained. "This bag here," she indicated, "has the diapers, formula, and other things they are sending home with us."
"I'll load it and be back," he said quietly, without looking at her.
Once he'd left the room, she took a deep breath and looked around again, seeing her coffee there on the table, actually two cups of coffee. She hastily grabbed one after that argument, walked over to the chair in the corner Jack had been living in the last few days, and slowed herself to sit down because it still really was a struggle to do that easily. She sat there to think, collect herself, and just watch her beautiful little boy sleep.
Jack walked back into the room almost 20 minutes later. Lisa, who was still seated in the chair, he caught her wiping at her eyes. Jack sighed loudly, and she stood up.
"Ahh," she shook her head, trying not to be caught there upset, and instead gestured to the flowers, "I never did get to thank you for the flowers. I'm sorry I didn't notice them when I woke up, and you'd gotten them I guess after John was born, and I was sleeping. When the girls pointed out the flowers, I didn't want to make a scene then, and I'm sorry I haven't said anything until now."
"You're welcome," he said with a nod and soft tone. He stood there in front of her, opened his arms to give her a hug, and she sighed into it. "I remember," he told her. "You hate red roses because Dan liked those. You don't like yellow roses because those remind you of your mom and then your dad's funerals. You liked white roses, which they didn't have and mixed flowers too because they remind you of the prairie. That they had. He held onto her and kept talking. , "Look Lise," he sighed. She looked up and him and stepped back, and she nodded, knowing what he was about to say, "We will work this out. Nothing is going to be easy right away. We'll probably mess up, but we just need to keep talking."
"I know," she said, glancing up at him. John chose that moment to let out another single cry. They turned and saw him shifting and kick his foot out of that swaddle.
"He got out of that again!" Jack exclaimed, but in a quiet voice right next to Lisa's head. She dropped her head and started to laugh. Jack smacked his hand on the of his pants. "I watched the nurse and did what she said." Lisa patted his arm. The two just watched as he kicked one, and then the other foot out of the swaddle. Lisa had him all ready to go home in a plaid little romper. It was too big, even at the infant size, but it was the right size; he was just so little still. He looked really sweet, and even Jack had said he liked what she'd picked, or what she'd directed Annabelle to find at home.
"So far, I'm winning at that, the baby swaddle," she grinned. "I think he's ready to go too. Ahh, can you get the nurse to show us how to get him securely into the car seat?"
"I'll get her," he agreed. "Then, we'll show John the most beautiful countryside in the world."