Monique flicked a leftover scrap of lettuce from their tabletop before putting her elbows down, firmly cradling her chin in her elegantly manicured, folded hands. She sat opposite from Kim in a booth seat at Bueno Nacho as Ron (and Rufus) were busily placing everyone's orders up at the counter.
"So I ran into Bonnie yesterday" said Monique, with a smirk and an eyeroll. "And I think that her last trip to the tanning salon didn't end so well."
"Seriously?" asked Kim, with a mischievous grin. "What happened?"
"Okay, okay" said Monique, laughing, "remember when you and I made Christmas cookies at your place a couple years back...and they caught fire?"
"Oh my GOD!" said Kim as she burst into laughter. Monique joined in, raucously, the two of them in giddy hysterics as all of the other diners began to turn their heads and give them cross, irritated looks.
Monique sighed as she stretched her arms high over her head and then slumped down low into her seat.
"Girl, I am NOT looking forward to senior year at all!" said Monique, mournfully.
"Why's that?" asked Kim.
"Because I'll have to take public speaking. I've been putting it off, but apparently, so has Bon-Bon, and knowing how MY fortunes turn out, I'll probably wind up in the same class as her."
"MAJOR bummer" said Kim with a frown. "Glad I got THAT headache out of the way in my sophomore year...and that was bad enough without adding Bonnie to the mix."
"Honestly, I'm surprised she saved it for her final year, seeing as how she obviously LOVES the sound of her own voice" said Monique, with a grin.
"Right?" said Kim, in agreement. "She'll make a great mid-afternoon talk show host, provided she even graduates!"
Monique narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice to an unnaturally low, comical tone as she held a saltshaker to her mouth, acting as though it were a microphone.
"Today...on Bonnie...musclehead idiots named Brick and the desperate women who love them..."
"Ladiiiiiiiies...lunch...is served!" said Ron, cheerfully, as he plopped down an over-laden tray with four combo meals; one for Kim, one for Monique and two for himself.
Kim eyed the heaping amount of food that Ron was about to gorge himself with and threw him a look of mock concern.
"Y'know, you're gonna' get a GUT, Ron" she laughed, as she poked him playfully in his stomach, causing him to wince. "Don't tell me you've already blown your thousand dollars entirely on junk food..."
Ron's face was blank. And a little bit ashamed.
"...Ron?" she asked.
He continued to stare blankly, though now at the floor.
"Ron?...Just...how much HAVE you spent?" asked Kim, her eyes growing wider as Monique looked on, bemused.
Ron's eyes darted back and forth liked a trapped animal. "Ummmmm...a few bucks...here and...there...y'know...h-hey, I am STARVING, let's dig in!"
He flopped down next to Kim, unwrapped his tacos and then began to voraciously tear into them as if they were evil incarnate. Kim, Monique and Rufus quickly backed away in alarm, doing their best to avoid being sucked into the gravitational pull of the black hole that was Ron's gaping mouth.
Monique watched Ron as if he were a hungry boa constrictor gobbling up a baby zebra. Even Rufus looked more than a bit disgusted at Ron's complete and utter lack of table manners.
"Uh, careful Ron" said Monique, with a look of revulsion. "Some of that food's getting in your mouth..."
Ron looked up, his face smeared with queso and guacamole.
"You shay shomethin' Monique?" he asked, wide-eyed.
"No, nothin' Ron. Nothin' at all." She rolled her eyes as she gingerly unwrapped her own food, trying her best to block out the obnoxious 'livestock-with-feedbags' noises that Ron was making.
"Getting yourself fortified for tomorrow, Ron?" laughed Kim. "Guess you'll have to keep your strength up with all the international jewel thieves we'll be fighting off! In fact, maybe you should have scored yourself THREE grande size combos just to be safe!"
"Oh, that's right, its almost the 15th, isn't it?" asked Monique with a bright smile. "That's when your big job at the museum starts, right?"
"Yep, tomorrow's the big day!" said Kim, maintaining a forced smile. She had done her best to remain positive about their upcoming assignment, but then, like a chronic, nagging pain, she kept remembering her bizarre and frightening experience at the McDougall mansion - over and over and OVER again, the memory played nonstop in her head like a bad film that just wouldn't come to an end. Her face, exuberant and upbeat, suddenly fell. Monique, her eyes as keen as a hawk's, noticed right away that something was amiss.
"Girl, why are you so down?" asked Monique as she daintily nibbled on her taco. "Just think of how LOADED you two will be a month from now! I mean, what were you gonna be raking in, a thousand bucks each day? Color me JEALOUS!"
Monique leaned back in her seat and looked dreamily at the ceiling.
"The Neptune Diamond...now that is ONE rock I wouldn't mind having all to myself" she mused, as a reflective, faraway expression slowly spread across her face. "Property of one zillioinaire, Silas McDougall...not a BAD guy from what I've heard, just a little, uh, WEIRD..."
"Weird?" asked Kim, her interest (and suspicion) both piqued. "How so?"
"Oh, they're probably just rumors and crap" said Monique. "You know how much people love spreading urban legends and 'creepypastas' all over the internet, but I've heard some pretty gnarly tales of people supposedly coming down with the flu, or even having fainting spells when they're near the guy...that and he apparently has, get this...'spooooooky eeeeeyes'!"
Kim was silent.
Monique laughed as she tossed a pile of napkins at the oblivious Ron. "Probably just jealous folks making this stuff up as they go...of course if I was that rich, I'd be jealous of me, too..."
"Well, I told you about what happened the other day, right?" said Kim as she glared intently at Monique. "The weirdness factor was stratospheric...and as for fainting spells, I'm pretty sure I nearly had one myself! And they're right about the eyes, Monique! The guy looked like some kind of ancient vampire, even if he WAS super polite...and even if it WAS during the day-"
"Kim, are you SERIOUS?" asked Monique with a look of doubt. "Are you sure you didn't already read the stuff I just told you about and then imagine it when you got there? Oh, Kim, we ALL get the jitters sometimes! Girl, you've GOT this! No doubt about it!"
"Kim's right about the eyes, Monique" garbled Ron through a mouthful of chips. "But I thought maybe it was just, y'know, allergies or somethin'."
"Allergies, Ron?" said Kim, sharply. "SERIOUSLY?"
"Oh, you two!" laughed Monique, uproariously.
A passerby suddenly bumped into their table, but the three of them took no notice.
"Yeah, KP, don't you think you were maybe just a little bit, uh...random, that day?" asked Ron between heaping mouthfuls. "Not tryin' to sound insensitive or anything! I mean, granted, you almost BARFED all over the place-"
"Ugh, Ron! We're EATING, here!" snapped Monique. Suddenly, her face lit up.
"Oh, you know what? That reminds me...I have just the thing for you, Kim..."
Monique reached into her canvas tote bag and pulled out a glass bottle containing a lethal-looking black liquid, bearing a label featuring a pagoda, some bonsai trees and a rising sun in the background. She slid it across the table towards a hesitant-looking Kim, who eyed it cautiously as if it were an unexploded land mine.
"So, Smarty Mart just got these new energy drinks in - ALL organic - and let me tell you, Kim, I have NEVER felt better in my life! Trust me, slam down half a bottle tomorrow morning, and you'll be ready to CRUSH the world under your heels!"
"That's...very sweet of you, Monique! Th-thanks!" said Kim as she held the bottle up to the light - not that the light would even pass through the murky liquid contained inside.
Ron looked up from his metaphorical trough and gazed apprehensively at the bottle with a fearful impression. "Better not drop that thing, KP" he said, grimacing. "Looks like it might explode on contact..."
Monique frowned at him. "You know, Ron, it wouldn't hurt if you started looking after your own health. You practically live off of nachos-"
"Nacos" corrected Ron, smugly.
"See what I mean, Ron?" said Monique. "When's the last time you ate something GREEN?
"Guacamole's green."
"Ron, the only reason you're not tipping the scales is because Kim takes you around the world on all those missions, so you're OBVIOUSLY burning a major amount of calories! I mean, even if you ARE just running away from danger most of the time...no offense...but that's GOOD, because it seems that the only thing you ever put in your body is this nutritionally hollow, over-processed GARBAGE!"
Ron rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, that's STILL better than your chia seeds and seaweed or whatever" he said. "Heh...I'd rather go hungry than eat THAT slop..."
Monique's eyes flashed. "Hey, do you know WHY I eat that way? Because I treat my body like a temple! I KNOW my worth, and thus I act accordingly! And before you accuse me of being a foodie hypocrite, this is the first time I've been to Bueno Nacho in over a MONTH, so I can have the odd cheat meal, occasionally-"
As Monique and Ron argued (loudly) over differing dietary guidelines (or complete lack thereof), Kim was thinking intently about the following day's work. She was beyond frustrated that no one seemed to understand - or even believe - just how extraordinarily terrified she had felt the other day, for apparently no reason other than just being near the man that she would be working with for the following month. The fact that some of Monique's supposedly fictional 'urban legends' matched up with her own experiences sent a deep, ice-cold chill throughout her entire being, and part of her still questioned if accepting the whole mission was just a colossal mistake on her part. But still...a mission was a mission, and she and Ron would see it through to the bitter end, come hell or high water. She never backed down. That's what everyone else always admired her for.
"Something's gonna go wrong. I just know it" she thought to herself, glumly. But then the steel within her suddenly began to come to the surface, and her face took on a hardened, almost grim expression of fierce determination.
Beneath the table, she balled her hands into tight, iron-hard fists.
"But I'll be ready."
Tomorrow would be a big day.
The sprawling complex of the Middleton Museum of Nature and Science occupied an entire downtown block, located right between the city's dense central business district and the lush, rolling greenery of the expansive municipal park. Just over a mile away, hidden amongst the thick, dark foliage of a tall rambling tree, Drakken and Shego were carefully scoping out the premises, making meticulous plans for their big jewel heist on the following day.
Perched acrobatic-like on a thick branch high in the treetops, Shego was using a pair of high-powered, military-grade binoculars - in spite of them still hanging around Drakken's neck - who was rapidly asphyxiating and turning an even deeper shade of blue as he choked on the taut leather strap.
"Sh-Shego..I..uggghhh..c-can't...bre-bre...-"
"What's that, Doctor D? Can't hear ya" muttered Shego as she thoroughly scanned the main entrance to the museum - three sets of double doors set into an enormous glass atrium - the amazingly powerful lenses bringing the hazy, distant view into vivid, crystal clarity.
She lowered the binoculars from her eyes as Drakken continued to gasp for air via unintentional strangulation, an evil smile gradually stealing across her pale, comely face.
"This'll be too easy..." she said, haughtily, as she roughly yanked the binocular straps from around the wheezing Dr. Drakken's neck and then hung them around her own. "Sorry, Doctor D, but since I'M doing the heavy lifting, I'LL be the one to manage the equipment. Apologies, 'boss man'...ha!"
Drakken (still wearing his pyramid hat), however, was intent on continuing their argument from the other day, concerning her past ill treatment of her young bespectacled cousin, Hugo.
"You know, Shego, *hack*cough* I used to wear glasses in my younger days!" he whined. "Be honest with me...if we were childhood friends, would you have shut me out of your treehouse, too?"
"Oh, God, we are not having this conversation right now..." snarled Shego as she adjusted the specs on the binoculars. "Yeah, THIS is why I don't talk about my family, Dr. D! Trauma, drama and sob stories for days..."
"Shego, answer me!" cried Drakken, his voice cracking, sounding like he was starting to tear up. "Would you or wouldn't you bar me from your treehouse? I NEED TO KNOW!"
"Kay', FIRST of all" said Shego, wearily, "we NEVER would have been friends from the get-go. "And second- AGGGHH!"
Drakken's eye had been ensnared by something interesting off in the distance, causing him to suddenly seize the binoculars from around Shego's neck and then put them up to his own eyes, now choking her on the strap.
"Oooooh, is that the Middleton art museum next door to the nature & science one?" he asked excitedly, completely forgetting his sappy emotional appeals from seconds ago as Shego now hacked and gasped from the tight leather cord around her throat.
"Drakken...y-you're...killin' me, here...aaaghhh!" she stammered, her bright green eyes comically bulging out of her skull as she desperately tried to loosen the binocular straps from her neck.
Drakken was altogether heedless of her."Mmmmmm, perhaps we'll take a little stroll through there tomorrow, before the big job-"
"GIMME THOSE!" bellowed Shego as she snatched back the binocs, her eyes flaring dangerously. "Didn't I tell you that we should have stolen TWO pairs of these things?" she spat, angrily.
Drakken grinned evilly. "Calm down, my dear assistant-"
"Dear? Don't push it" said Shego.
"The only thing I'm pushing, Shego, is our need for things of beauty! Once we've acquired that FABULOUS piece of jewelry tomorrow, why not top off the escapade by swiping some original paintings from next door to spruce up our lair?"
Shego's eyes went wide.
"Honestly...that's not a bad idea, Dr. D!" said Shego, in pleasantly surprised tone as she cracked an uncharacteristic smile. "I mean, we've already got enough of your crap art gunking up the walls as it is..."
Drakken began to pout. "Are you saying...that this pyramid hat...isn't working?"
She feigned sympathy with a cruel, self-knowing smile. "Ohhhh, not yet, Dr. D. Just give it some time, though...after all, it might take a LONG while for that pyramid hat to work its magic and unlock those virtuoso skills DEEP inside of you!"
She didn't want the prank to end anytime soon - it was just too much fun for her. She stifled a laugh, but unfortunately, Drakken noticed it as she put the binoculars back to her eyes.
Drakken's face flushed with anger. "Are you...MOCKING me, Shego?" he hissed. "I am your SUPERIOR! And you will give me the respect due a mad genius such as I-"
As Drakken proceeded to rant and rave like a lunatic, Shego continued to prudently survey the museum entrance, wondering just how crowded it might be on the following day and just how tight the security would be held, when she suddenly gave a sharp gasp; a long, black limousine was slowly pulling up in front of the premises, coming to a full stop seconds later just as one of the museums' front doors opened. Three members of the curatorial staff exited the building and briskly descended the long flight of steps in order to greet the newly arrived VIP, waving their arms in friendly gestures of welcome.
"Heeeeeey, I think that Mr. Moneybags himself just dropped in!" said Shego, excitedly.
Drakken ignored her. "Shego! Never, EVER forget who com-"
"Yeah, yeah, 'nEvEr FoRgEt WhO cOmMaNdS!'" mimicked Shego in a spot-on impersonation of her boss. "Don't worry. I couldn't forget if I tried" she laughed. "But screw that, I think that Silas McDougall guy just showed up."
Drakken clapped his hands to his cheeks and gasped. "He's HERE?"
"Most likely" answered Shego as she continued to watch intently. "Either him or the president..."
"Oooooh, how exciting!" said Drakken, gleefully. "We've never stolen anything from HIM before..."
"...Silas or the president?" asked Shego, irritably.
"Either or!"
Shego's face was as blank as a concrete wall.
"...I...cannot...WAIT for my trip to Mauritius...along with that killer jewel hanging around my neck...mmmmmm..." whispered Shego under her breath as she smiled deviously to herself. She desperately needed a vacation far away from her unstable superior's idiocy, by ANY means necessary, and- she paused, momentarily, as her train of thought was unexpectedly derailed by an unusual and uncomfortable feeling that began to slowly and gradually creep over her.
As Shego watched the scene through the binoculars, her skin, for whatever reason, began to crawl, and her pulse began to quicken. She felt that there was something strangely...ominous...about this particular limousine for some odd reason. It seemed almost, weirdly, hearse-like, instead of just a simple luxury car for the obscenely wealthy, as if it gave off some kind of dark, anxiety-inducing morbid aura.
"Well...that's weird..." she said out loud, shivering.
"What's weird?" asked Drakken. "Are you referring to ME?"
"No, no, of course not...weirdo" she muttered quietly, just on the edge of hearing.
Shego watched as a short, chubby man in glasses and what looked like a hairpiece came around from the front passenger seat and dutifully opened the rear door. Out stepped an enormously tall man swathed from head to toe entirely in black, with a fedora hat and a trench coat, apparently oblivious to the sweltering ninety-five-degree heat that particular day. His glasses-wearing assistant shut the limousine door and quickly fell into step behind Silas, following him up the long, wide flight of concrete steps that led to the broad, primary entryway where the museum officials patiently waited.
"So that's that loaded McDougall guy" said Shego, as she stifled a laugh, though still feeling somewhat disquieted. "What, did this guy just go to a funeral or something? What's with all the black...wait...wh-wha-...?"
For whatever reason, Silas had abruptly stopped walking up the steps, pausing around the halfway point. His portly assistant immediately halted as well. McDougall stood statue-still, as if he was suddenly aware of something - as if he felt that somebody was watching him.
As Shego was stealthily spying on him through the binoculars - supposedly unseen, secluded and far away - she noticed that Silas was slowly turning around - ever so slowly, until he was fully facing in her direction - and despite Shego being over a mile away and shrouded in thick arboreal foliage, he suddenly - and impossibly - looked directly at her, as if they were standing only several feet apart. His maroon eyes, now blazing crimson in the sunlight, met her own eyes in a burning, mesmerizing gaze. She jolted, feeling as though there were hot, fiery holes being bored through her face directly through the back of her head. He slowly began to smile at her, the corners of his mouth seeming to stretch abnormally far on each side - almost like some kind of ghoulish clown out of a hideous nightmare. She began to get a creeping feeling that he was somehow probing the inside of her mind...every shadowy corner of it...
She dropped the binoculars from her eyes, letting them hang loosely by the straps, her face looking particularly disturbed and even more pale than usual.
"Whoooaaa, BACK UP!" she shouted, her stunned eyes as wide as dinner plates.
"Shego, what's the matter?!" barked Drakken, impatiently. "Are you messing up my operation?!"
Shego spun around. "Y-your operation...?" she sputtered. "YOUR OPERATION?!"
"Give me those, NOW!" shouted Drakken as he yanked back the binocs. "I'm commandeering this endeavor as of right now-"
"WAIT YOUR DAMN TURN!" screamed Shego as she pulled them back from his grip. "With YOU in charge, we may as well just give up and go home!"
"Give me those!"
"No! You give ME those!"
"AAAARGHHH!"
"AAAARGHHH!"
They played a zany game of tug-of-war with the binoculars for several seconds (along with a great deal of swearing and savage threats) until finally, after some violent fumbling, each of them had one eye in each of the lenses.
"Now!" hissed Drakken, evilly, "let's see just what we have to deal with...eh...who is that?"
"Yeah, check this guy out, Doctor D" said Shego, grimly. "He's a REAL trip..."
As both Drakken and Shego watched attentively, Silas was still eerily smiling at them, only now his odd little assistant was grinning strangely at them as well. His own eyes, unlike Silas' terrifying ones, were shrouded behind his thick lenses - not that it made him any less chilling. Their smiles were both inhuman and horrible...and it seemed to Drakken and Shego as though they just kept getting wider...
"...Ummmm, Shego?" asked Drakken, meekly. "Can they...see us?"
Shego was silent.
As they continued to watch, they noticed a woman walking her dog was strolling leisurely by the front of the museum when the dog's ears suddenly perked up; he began to bark aggressively and thunderingly at Silas and his assistant - even being a mile away, Drakken and Shego could still hear it very clearly.
Silas slowly turned his head to face the woman and made a strange facial expression at the dog, who suddenly threw his head up to the sky and began to howl mournfully. The woman, not without some struggle and some yelling, managed to pull her dog to his feet and continue with her walk, casting a backwards, apprehensive look towards Silas as she quickly scuttled away with her whimpering canine in tow.
Silas turned back to face Drakken and Shego and gave them one last frightening, piercing look - along with an exceedingly creepy wave goodbye by waggling his long, pointed fingers - and then brusquely turned away and continued walking up the museum steps along with his assistant. The three members of the museum staff looked around in confusion, wondering just whom Mr. McDougall had waved to, as there was no one else around except for the woman with her yammering, upset dog.
Drakken and Shego slowly lowered the binocs from their eyes, silently.
Just like Kim, they both felt a paralyzing, Arctic cold chill shoot straight through them from the tops of their heads to the extremities of their feet. As evil as they considered themselves, they were plainly beginning to have second thoughts about tomorrow's little project. Maybe they could try their hands at stealing something...safer...like England's crown jewels.
"Ummm...er...uh...are we still on for tomorrow...Shego?" whispered Drakken, his drawn face colored with fear and foreboding. "I'm not sure I want to cross these...um...people..."
"Uhhhhh...sure thing, Doctor D!" said Shego with a nervous smile, her hands trembling. "Just as long as we don't run into THOSE two...hell, I'd rather tussle with Kimmie and her clueless sidekick on the WORST of days..."
"Y-yes, quite!" said Drakken with an awkward grin, his knees knocking rapidly, his brow slicked with nervous sweat. "L-let's stop for some takeout on the way home...I am simply FAMISHED after that fright...perhaps some, ah...Uncle Jessie's fried chicken?-"
"I'M DRIVING, LET'S ROLL" snapped Shego. "Let's just get OUTTA' here!"
They made a beeline for their concealed flying saucer-shaped aircraft and then beat a hasty retreat as quickly as they humanly could, their minds, despite all of their efforts, continually sliding back into thinking obsessively about Silas' red, lurid eyes - staring intently at them both, like two bonfires lit on a silent, pitch-black midnight.
Tomorrow would be a big day.
The pale young man at Bueno Nacho picked up his to-go order from the counter, acknowledged the beleaguered Ned's existence with a curt nod, and then attempted to make his way back to the entrance, fighting a path through the teeming throngs of hungry patrons during the hectic lunchtime rush. He accidentally bumped into a table occupied by three blathering teenagers, but he walked away without either party even perceiving each other's presence.
He was still pissed off for whatever reason about the Neptune Diamond Exhibition, though he planned to remedy that little problem on the following day. As he walked, his thick black hair blowing in the hot June breeze, he tore open the bag and began to shove tacos in his mouth with a maniacal zeal that would have even rivaled Ron's. After he'd finished his meal on the go and carelessly tossed his trash into the gutter, he smiled grimly, lit up a cigarette, and savored the thoughts of the TERRIBLE things he was going to do twenty-four hours later. "Payback time" he snarled in a low, gravelly voice, his bright green eyes aflame with one part fury, one part excitement...and ten parts resentment.
Tomorrow would be a big day.