Summary: Chris McLean is a demon in human form. And Chef is sure of this based on the host's next strategy to increase ratings.
Ship: Chris x Chef
Chris McLean was a more versatile man than most people (especially competitors) give him credit for.
The man (who is exactly 37 years, 8 months, 54 days and 13 hours) looks and acts like a young guy. He knew the midlife crisis would catch up with him someday, but it won't be now.
He's athletic!
He's got pecs!
He knows how to use the internet!
And he knows how to break down a door professionally!
Since Courtney and Gwen rescued Duncan in Whitechapel, our psychopathic host has been looking for a way to profit from it. And logically, the profit would translate into better ratings.
That's why he was trying to break two hinges with pliers at 5 in the morning.
The hell are you doing there? We have a busy day tomorrow, Chris.
That voice belonged to none other than his right-hand man, Norbert "Chef" Hatchet. The only one who agreed to take on this madness called Total Drama since the network wanted something fresh for the public.
It's been almost three years already together.
"Just gimme a sec...almost...there...YES!" Chris celebrated when he managed to break one of the hinges on the confessional door with a pair of pliers.
"I thought you hated people destroying the plane. I mean, you threw a huge tantrum when Owen broke that bench." The black man pointed out.
"Because this is for a good cause. What if I told you I already had Duncan's plot ready in my head?" The host spoke without looking at his partner, now focusing on the latch.
Hatchet raised his eyebrow, "What are you going to do? Whip him for not singing?"
The white man paused momentarily, "Great idea, but no. Remember when Courtney got jealous, thinking he and Gwen were having an affair? Let's use this as ammunition for the next arc."
A deafening silence began before Chef questioned him again, "Are you going to make that maggot cheat on his psychotic girlfriend? That cold, man."
"I won't do anything. I'm not telling him to cheat on her, nor am I giving him money to do so. He will do it on his initiative, using the free will God gave us all," The other justified.
The chef noted how determined Chris looked. That sparkle in his eyes only occurred when he discussed setting up the challenges and the possibilities so that each participant could shine in his or her own way.
They can accuse McLean of being many things, but not being attentive to his show is not one of them. He woke up and slept thinking about Total Drama, checking the show's buzz daily in the media.
One of the only times he rested was during the challenge, where Chris switched off from the world and focused on who would win and who would lose.
"And what if he doesn't kiss Gwen there? What if he outsmarts you?" Chef joked around.
Chris looked at his partner for the first time, now with an ironic smile, before dismissing the hypothesis, "He? Outsmarting me? Have you seen that idiot? He's a dick who only thinks with his dick. Literally. He's hitting on Gwen because he thinks she's an easier fuck than Courtney. Leave them alone, and I can guarantee that at least one kiss will occur."
The black man sighed, "I agree, but you can't think they're like Lindsay. Someone will realize that you orchestrated this."
At that moment, something inside Chris emerged. He put aside the pliers and faced his partner. It was the look a sociopath would give one of his victims.
"They can say that to my face, and it won't change the fact that they have no control over the game. Each one's fate was sealed when they agreed to participate in this season. Now, they are my puppets and are only useful if they behave as I want. Some are aware of this; others are not. The important thing is that we run this like a clockwork. Deliver the Drama that the audience demands. And then we will get paid." He concluded, smiling warmly again.
"You mean you will get paid, right? Because I still have residuals to receive from last season and this one." Chef jabbed Chris, reminding him of his fight for unpaid wages.
"If we can keep this love triangle going for as long as possible, the fandom will explode. Duncney fans will stab Gwuncan fans in the neck. Imagine the media! Everyone will be talking about us!" The host bragged, "So I will preserve the trio for now. I can't risk losing Duncan, Gwen and Courtney. Let alone Heather and Alejandro."
Chef crossed his arms and frowned, "Are you still trying to bring the two together? They hate each other."
Chris shrugged, "Of course, they hate each other. Have you ever seen a teenager express themselves properly? I hope they continue like this until the final. Aleheather is one of the most popular ships now."
The chef pinched the bridge of his nose, "Let's recap: how will you make sure Gwen and Duncan meet up here? You may feel like a God, but you are not one. They cannot appear here by mere fate. What if the plan backfires?"
"You need to have more faith in me, friend. I will explain to you exactly how it will work." Placing the tools aside, he stood up and approached Chef in the doorway.
The diabolical host had finished breaking the latch and the two hinges, using a metal wire to support the door until the grand finale.
"Act 1: Duncan and Gwen receive a mysterious letter asking them to go to the confessional to discuss what to do with Courtney." Chris took two letters out of his pocket.
"Act 2: Duncan enters the confessional with Gwen inside, as the door opens. He flirts with her, and hormones rise under their skin. Then comes the third act." Chris flashed a cocky smile towards Chef, touching the other's waist.
"What is the third act?" A light blush appeared on the big man's face.
This
Chris placed his lips gently against Chef's, closing his eyes. The big man was surprised by the host's boldness, given that they had barely entered the "more than friends, less than boyfriends" zone.
Chris's mouth tasted like sweet fortified wine. He hated drinking anything bitter; it was the only beverage he liked.
The two men explored each other's mouths until they were out of breath. Shit, maybe they are bisexual after all.
"That...was good." Chef panted.
"Yeah...great," Chris replied, dozed.
The two looked at each other passionately until they remembered where they were and what they were doing. Their eyes soon looked away.
"Well, everything is ready here. Can you put this letter for me in first class? I'll deliver the other one to the showers." The host spoke, giving the letter addressed to Gwen to his second in command.
Chef nodded and went to do the dirty work.
Hatchet was amazed at Chris' vision. All the pieces fell into place, as he had described.
The worst thing about falling in love with the devil is that you never know the next trick he might play.
And that revitalized him.
THE END!
I thank everyone who read these stories until the end. Writing each ship was fun, and I hope to encourage more to do the same.
For everything it represents, London is one of the best episodes of TDWT and the entire franchise. Without it, much of the plot wouldn't develop as it did.
If you liked it, please share and leave reviews. I'm working on two other fics, The Drama Podcast and Total Drama Final Season. Check it out!
Until next time!