Chapter six:
Raph pokes his head into Donnies lab.
Donnie has hardly spoken to him since their argument. He'll only respond if he has to and avoids talking about what happened.
Raph remembers Mikey suggesting to just give Donnie some space. He plays with his hands wanting to try to patch things up, though he knows Mikey is the mental expert. He sighs and leaves the lab deciding to trust Mikey. He heads to Leo's room and looks around sadly. ""I miss you so much." He admits quietly moving further into the room. He sits on Leo's bed with another heavy sigh. He picks Leo's pillow up and brings it up.
Despite the passed time Leo's scent can still be found lingering on his things.
Raph takes in the smell as he closes his eyes. He lets his memories of Leo flow through his mind. He wants to just pretend that he's still here even if it's just for a few moments. He even imagines what Leo might say if he was here and saw Raph doing this.
"Holding my pillow? Something going on big guy? Or you just being obsessed with me?" Imaginary Leo questions with a teasing tone making Raph chuckle softly.
Raph hardly notices the tears streaming down his face. "I want to embrace you." He tells the imaginary Leo. "It's been so long." He just can't help it. He so badly wants to feel Leo in his arms or at least feel his touch. He wants Leo. He clenches his teeth as imaginary Leo hugs him... He hates that he can't feel anything there though. He wishes he did.
"Aw big bro. It's fine." Imaginary Leo assures Raph. He leans all against Raph who slightly tries to lean into the imaginary touch.
"Raph?" Donnies voice breaks through Raphs imagination.
Imaginary Leo disappears as Raphs eyes snap open. "You okay?" Those are the last words said in imaginary Leo's voice that has a hint of Donnies.
Raph raises his head and quickly wipes away his tears. "Yeah. Im okay. Is everything okay?"
Donnie stares at him clearly not buying Raph saying that he is okay. He lets out a breath before heading over and sitting beside Raph. He sighs staring down at his lap as the eldest turns to him. "I know you're not okay. I don't think any of us are. I'm not good at this. In fact I'd rank myself as the worst at trying to deal with any of this stuff. So I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say."
"It's alright Donnie." Raph assures him giving him a small smile. "I appreciate that you're at least trying. Trying can be a lot more important than you think. As long as what you're trying is reasonable. I'm not giving you a loophole in what I'm saying." He adds giving a slightly stern big brother look causing Donnie to chuckle a little.
"We'll see." Donnie lets the small smile, that came with the chuckle, die down from his face. "I guess it's just that there's supposed to be four of us. And he's not coming back as clearly you are very serious about no robot."
"I am." Raph confirms in a serious tone while keeping his eyes on Donnie.
"Yeah yeah. Anyways, he's not coming back. So we're just gonna have to live a way we never should have to. As a trio."
Raph is sure Donnie has more feelings hidden inside about it all. He just knows that he should be thankful for at least getting a little bit. "Yes. We shouldn't be having to go on without him. It's just what ended up happening. It won't be easy on any of us to adjust to such a thing. If only there had been a way to save him... I should have been able to talk him out of it."
"Would there even be a way to talk someone out of it in such a situation? Given the circumstances it would have been rather hard for anyone to talk him out of it. Especially given Leo's stubbornness." Donnie points out to which Raph lets out a soft breathy laugh.
"Yeah. That would have made things even more difficult." Raph glances away as he pauses for a moment. His face fallen to a deep frown. "Can you be honest with me about something?"
Donnie blinks curiously at Raph who notices from the corner of his gaze. "Sure. What is it you want to know?"
"Am I bad big brother? I haven't been able to help or protect you all that well recently. I even let Leo go through with his plan, even though it meant he'd be gone. Maybe I should have tried harder. I can't even really help any of you right with coping with the fact he's not coming back. I just keep messing up and causing more trouble and grief for you all." Raph sighs heavily and closes his eyes. "Just be honest. I have to know the honest answer. No sugar coating it or anything." Raph can feel Donnies eyes lingering on him for a long few moments.
Finally Donnie speaks up. "You want my honest opinion? I think you're a great big brother." His words cause Raphs eyes to snap open before turning to look to the younger. "You already do so much for us. You take care of us before you take care of yourself. You were the first to even try to say no to Leo's plan. Sure things get messy. Life isn't fair. Otherwise we'd have him here." He sighs a little before slightly leaning back. "You just do more than we could ever ask you to do." He blinks as Raph pulls him close in a hug.
"Thank you Donnie." A tearful Raph says with deep gratitude.
Donnie smiles a little and pats Raphs arms. "Don't worry about it. You just wanted me to be honest."
Raph pulls away knowing that the other isn't one who is big on physical touch. "Should we head on out? Maybe they're wondering where we are." He suggest to which Donnie nods his head.
"Yeah okay." Donnies had a bit too much emotional time for now. He needs a break. He gets up leaving the room with Raph following along behind him. He hears Raph pause to glance back to the room, before turning to continue walking away.
Mikey is sitting on the living room floor fidgeting with a pencil as he looks at a sketchbook. He glances up as his two brothers approach.
"Whatcha drawing?" Raph inquires sitting down to join Mikey.
Donnie on the other hand plops himself on the couch. He scrolls through his phone relieved for this break from all that emotional stuff. He thought if it continued he'd get overwhelmed.
Which isn't fun obviously.
"I'm not sure." Mikey admits to Raph. "I can't think of what to draw."
"Hm." Raph hums in thought before getting an idea. "How about drawing your favorite flowers?"
Mikey nods and begins doing so. He is drawing a line when his hand trembles slightly.
Raph frowns in concern at seeing this. "You okay?"
"Yeah. It's nothing." Mikeys arms tremble as he uses a hand to grab his other arm.
Donnie, who had peeked up at hearing Raph speak in concern, comes over to check Mikeys arms. He can also see the mark left on the sketchbook. "How long have you had these?"
"Awhile. But I've been able to control it. I was getting better but they've been happening more frequently." Mikey explains causing Donnie to frown deeply concerned.
"That isn't good. Hold on." Donnie lowers his goggles using them to scan Mikeys arms. He gets some red flags about some nerve damage. "Hm. Your magic possibly shot your nerves a bit trying to use it to save Leo." He brings his goggles up. "We really should deal with this. The sooner the better."
"But I failed!" Mikey looks wide eyed at Donnie. "My powers didn't work in opening any sort of portal!"
"You did try pretty hard." Donnie points out to Mikey who lowers his head. "I'll see what I can do to help though I'm not promising anything." He is about to get up to leave when Raph pulls them both into a hug. He feels something snap and he instantly tries pulling away. He is let go of to which he moves back. His brothers gazing at him with concern. He raises his hands using sign language to speak now. 'I want alone time in my lab.' He quickly runs off to his lab after that.
They all understand sign language as it was set up years ago for times they can't speak. Such as when things overwhelm them to the point they struggle to speak, though Donnie tends to use it the most with Leo in second.
Donnie and Leo may not be the same species but they get called twins. They both share the trait that they can get way too overwhelmed to actually speak. Leo is actually better at not having to use his sign language, especially compared to Donnie.
Donnie huddles in the safe corner he made in his lab. He has a tablet with songs he enjoys saved on it, some fidget toys, a spare laptop, and a comfy set of blankets plus pillows. He takes a few breaths as at first he lets himself take in the quietness of his lab. He focuses on calming himself not letting any thoughts enter his mind. His body's shivering starts to go down which does help. He mindlessly grabs a fidget toy, an infinity cube, as he doesn't even think about it though his body reacts to needing it. He sits there folding the infinity cube around in his hands. He finally calms down enough for him to let some thoughts trickle back in. He stops fidgeting to grab his tablet. Letting his thoughts focus on deciding what music to play. He puts up a mental barrier to stop the thoughts from going further.
The song that is picked ends up being Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk.
Donnie sits there listening to the song letting the song flow through his mind. He lets it take away any thoughts as he instead keeps focused on the song. He finds himself even playing the video that goes along with the song in his head. He feels a sense of calm setting in as his mind is now occupied with something else. He gets the urge to try to design a magical stone to conceal them as humans. He doesn't think further on reasons instead deciding to just do it. He grabs his laptop placed there setting to work. He works for hours on plans trying to figure out how to get it to work. He finds himself feeling much better once he's done a plan. He'll just have to create the blueprints. He puts everything away before heading to get some food. He's found a growing appetite from all this. He gets into the kitchen finding Mikey making supper.
Mikey turns hearing Donnie enter. His eyes slightly watery with relief. He heads over pausing a little in front of his brother. "How are you doing?"
"Okay." Donnie admits not wanting to talk about it yet.
Luckily Mikey's the one to pick up on things. He tended to be the one to know when Donnie was in the right mental state for prolonged contact.
Donnie has always been impressed at how Mikey can easily read him if he wants to.
Mikey sometimes just leaves things be by not letting himself read the other. He knows that Donnie likes to be a bit mysterious at times, so he decided to not always read him in order to help his brothers enjoyment of it. He can never explain to Donnie how he can read him. He just really looks at him and is able to pick up on things that others don't seem to notice. His explanations weren't helpful in getting Donnie to understand how he is a master. He lets out a relieved breath before continuing. "Do you want to eat with us tonight? I'm making some sloppy joes tonight. You don't have to if you don't want to."
Donnie shakes his head. "I've got this really great idea and I need to keep going on it." He does see Mikey's worry that he'll stay up for days on it. He doesn't want to cause more emotional dilemma so he caves. "I want you to make sure I do go to bed. You'll be like an alarm to let me know if it gets too late." Hell have to sleep with a weighted blanket tonight. He doubts sleep will be easy otherwise, as sleeping pills don't work on him though for some reason a weighted blanket does.
Mikey's eyes light up to which he nods. "Deal!" He agrees hurrying back to the food earning a small chuckle from Donnie.
Donnie sits at the table and thinks about the project he's working on. He decides that he won't tell Mikey what it is at least not yet. He turns when Mikey lets out a slight yelp.
Mikey's hand had trembled spilling some of the food onto the counter. "I'm okay!" He turns clearly feeling Donnies gaze. His mouth upwards in a smile. "Do you want extra today?"
Donnie doesn't see any sign the food hit Mikey so he just nods. He is feeling rather hungry by now.
Mikey gives him his serving still smiling.
Donnie will have to figure out something to help Mikey with that issue. He doesn't want something bad to happen because of it. He will have to focus on it probably tomorrow as right now he needs something else. His mental state a little fragile from having become overwhelmed. He needs a bit to recharge and should be all good by tomorrow.
In the other world...
"You're doing good." Donatello nods seeing Leon being able to raise his legs, one at a time, higher than before.
Leon is getting excited at this. He's gotten pretty good at the whole standing, even though he still holds onto the bars just not as much as before, though he hasn't really done walking yet. "Shall we try walking?" He inquires which Donatello nods.
"You might find it difficult though we can try." Donatello helps Leon up who this time is able to help his feet get into the right position. "Okay. You're good to try." He tells Leon once satisfied how things are.
Leon nods and takes a silent breath before shifting his foot. He does his best to push it forward using more of the support of the beams. He feels so wobbly like his one leg wants to collapse. He's doing his best to not let it as he will accomplish this. He won't let himself fail, not now. He gets his foot to move a bit forward before he has to put it down. With both his feet on the ground he moves his hands forward. He then tries to take another step only for his leg to collapse so he falls down. He does kind of catch himself due to the bars. He turns as Donatello comes to his side.
"That was great! Are you okay?" Donatello helps Leon back up giving him support.
"Yeah." Leon nods. "Lets try again. I swear I was so close."
Donatello checks him over to make sure that he isn't hiding any injuries. "Okay." He finally agrees making sure Leon is in perfect position. He lets go once he is sure the other is stable. "Lets try one more time." He stays closer than before ready incase the same thing happens.
Leon nods before moving his foot forward taking that first step. He tries to lean on the railings a bit more as he goes for the second step. He gets slightly further before his leg collapses making him fall.
Donatello helps in saving Leon from falling too harshly. "That was definitely better. We can do some stretches to try to help. We really should try to not injure you again."
"I'm so close!" Leon tries to protest turning to Donatello as the other helps him up. "I know I look good but I'm not a glass figure. We can push it a little."
Donatello stares at Leon for a good long moment before letting out a breath. "You do know your body was in super bad shape right? I mean those injuries could have killed you. You really shouldn't go too hard on your body while it's trying to heal."
"I understand that." Leon assures Donatello who doesn't seem sure he believes him. "In my world I'm the family medic. I've seen plenty of injuries. Some pretty bad ones too. I just really believe my body feels strong enough to be able to do it." He stares into the others eyes waiting for his response to what he just said.
Donatello sighs a little. "Fine. We can try it a little and see how it goes."
Leon feels like he's won a great victory in his mind. "Glad you came around." He is helped to be ready then Donatello gives him a go ahead nod. He does the first step and he adjusts how he is leaning on the railings. He knows that this is it and he hopes that he can do this. He starts the second step with the feeling of Donatellos eyes watching him. He gets to where he got to last time and can start to feel his leg wobble. His hands grip onto the railing tighter, as tight as he can, to which he could almost swear that if he had Raphs strength he'd have cracked the railings. He gets his foot on the ground feeling victory shoot through him before his legs give out. He feels Donatello grab him to help stop him from falling too far. "I did it!" He grins to the other who just smiles softly.
"Yeah you did." Donatello confirms and he does a quick check to make sure Leon didn't hurt himself. He seems satisfied that the other is alright.
The two turn as they hear rushing footsteps and the front door banging open.
Raphael calls for Splinter indicating that something is indeed wrong.
Donatello helps Leon to his wheelchair.
"If there's an injury I can help." Leon says as he does want to pay them back for all they're doing. Plus as a medic he can't ignore someone in need.
Donatello nods and the two of them hurry to the main room.
Raphael is helping to support Michelangelo who has blood on him.
"What happened?" Donatello questions while Leon goes into medic mode.
Leon wheels forward and begins checking over Michelangelo. He can see that some of the wounds are deep.
"While on patrol we found a group of men who had some women tied up and beat up. I took on the men and Mikey freed the women. Then I heard him cry out and this really big guy attacked him."
"That's enough right now." Leon interrupts Raphael causing everyone to turn to him, except Michelangelo who seems to be starting to get a little dizzy. He has a very serious look on his face, as he's been told he does that when in medic mode. "There's not enough time for chit chatter. Get him to the med bay and on a bed." He turns to look to Donatello. "You're going to help. This med bay isn't mine back home. So things aren't placed where I would usually put them."
Donatello nods and they all hurry to the med bay.
Raphael puts Michelangelo on the bed while Leon tells Donatello what stuff to grab for him.
Leon quickly washes his hands knowing it's better this way. He goes over to Michelangelo, doing his best to not dirty his hands, not even feeling so many eyes on him. He's focused on doing what he needs to do. He gets a cart with everything he had asked for. He grabs the damp cloth first and does quick skillful work of cleaning away the blood. He has a better look at the wounds that the other has. He puts down the cloth before making sure that the wounds are clean, and shouldn't get infected. He puts on temporary bandaids on, some with tightness to put pressure on it. He knows if he doesn't do this then Michelangelo will just continue bleeding. "You'll have to bear through this part." He tells his patient who barely seems to be able to catch his words. He sets to work starting with the ones that need the most attention. He skillfully sows them closed getting some uncomfortable grunts from his patient. He works from the worst to the ones that aren't as bad. He finishes all that need stitches and applies sterile bandages to the rest. He can tell that those ones will be alright closing on their own. He sets up the IV bag he had requested. He also gives the other a shot of the strong pain meds, after ensuring Donatello filled the needle to the right amount.
Splinter comes over beside him causing Leon to turn to him.
Leon is done as he's done what he can for Michelangelo, who is now drifting towards sleep being relaxed by the meds, so he lets the other check out what he's done.
"This is impressive." Splinter mentions though Leon knew he was good.
"It's not really anything I haven't seen before being a medic back home." Leon shrugs it off and cleans the blood off of his hands. "He won't be doing much for the next while. He'll have to take it easy or else he could reopen some of those wounds. So no missions or patrols until he's healed enough. The longer we can keep him in bed for now the better."
"I agree." Splinter nods his head to this as Leon turns after finishing getting the blood off. He does check Raphael who is indeed unhurt. "We'll let him rest."
"I'll stay so when he wakes he'll know he should rest." Donatello says and Splinter nods to allow it.
The rest of them leave and Raphael puts an arm around Leon.
"Dude. You just healed him up like it was no problem." Raphael points out to which Leon shrugs secretly loving the attention and praise.
"I am a pretty good medic." Leon sees Raphael slightly roll his eyes at his boasting. He also can't help noticing that Leonardo seems a little jealous of Raphael clinging to Leon right now.
Leonardo tries to hide it and heads away into another room.
Leon decides that he's going to try to help them get together. He sees Splinter glance to him though silently asks for a moment before they work together.
Splinter nods then heads to his room.
Leon turns to Raphael who does let go of him. "Say. Your Leo definitely has the Leo trait of looking good." He mentions to which Raphael gives a slightly wide eyed look.
"Are you trying to imply something?" Raphael growls slightly and narrows his eyes at Leon.
"You want him to be yours don't you?" Leon smirks then chuckles at seeing Raphael hold back a blush. "You've got good tastes my guy." He smirks a little wider as Raphael narrows his eyes as if challenged. "Chill dude. I have my own type. Could do him if I wanted but I personally have a favourite preference. Something he doesn't quite fit."
"I don't fucking care about your stupid preferences." Raphael huffs crossing his arms over his chest. He looks away with another huff.
"So I suppose you don't want any help in trying to get set up with him then." Leon casually looks at his nails waiting for a few seconds to let it sink in. "I got to meet up with Splinter anyways." He lowers his hand before turning the wheelchair around. He quietly counts down in his head having a feeling that this is going to work.
"What's the catch?"
Leon turns to look smugly over his shoulder while Raphael refuses to look him in the eye. "Catch? Oh Raphie you hurt me with your assumptions!" He teases pretending to be hurt by it.
"Ok, first off you don't fucking get to say my name that way. Second of all you just cut the crap and tell me what the catch is." Raphael demands still looking all huffy.
"Maybe I just wanna help you two be happy. If you really don't want any help just say so big guy." Leon stares at Raphael who's clenching his teeth. He can see gears turning inside of the others head.
Finally Raphael sighs. "Fine. We can see where it all goes. If I think anything is too stupid I'm not doing it."
"Yup. Got it." Leon turns giving a smile plus a thumbs up to Raphael. He ignores the eye roll. "Anyways. Something to start with, while I am in session with Splinter, that I'd suggest is to make sure you get any frustrations out that you can. It'll be best you be in the best mood to do this. Just arguing when trying to get him to go out with you is not going to help." He wheels off to go meet Splinter smiling to himself. He is going to enjoy setting the two up to be together. He wheels closer to Splinter changing to a serious look. He blinks as he sees the other smile warmly to him.
"I am glad someone is finally helping to give that push that they needed." Splinter mentions bringing back Leon's smile.
"Heh. I knew you'd be alright with it." Leon admits feeling pretty proud of himself. He hears Splinter slightly chuckle before telling him it's time to start.
"Is there anything you want to talk about before we work with the katanas?" Splinter inquires though Leon can't think of anything so he shakes his head. "Alright. Then let us begin." He brings out the katanas to which Leon lets himself look to them.
Leon almost regrets it as he wants to flinch away. He tries to urge himself closer but his body won't move.
"You can do this." Splinter encourages him and Leon takes a breath before managing to move closer to the weapons.
Leon tries to force the better memories to the front instead of the bad ones. He tries to think about when he used his teleportation ability to play pranks on his brothers, when he'd use it to surprise enemies giving them the upper hand, and how his brothers trusted him to teleport them to the right spot deep in battle when tossed a sword. He then remembers a moment where Miley helped with the teleportation practice. He had teleported his brother around the lair, he remembers Raph not being too happy worried something could go wrong. He smiles softly at the memory.
"It seems things are working."
Leon blinks quickly remembering what he's doing, and realizes the uneasiness has eased slightly. "A little. I just tried thinking of better times. Like when Mikey, my Mikey, helped me with some practice." He admits looking to Splinter who nods to this.
"A very good idea. Remember the good times instead of the bad times." Splinter confirms. "I think next time we'll get you closer to them. For now we'll practice more of being able to look at them. Get you a little more used to it before the bigger test comes."
"Got it." Leon confirms and keeps looking at the swords. He's got this. He almost shivers as some memories of the Krang attacking him in the void appear. He tries to push them away but the Krang memories keep popping back up. He finds his happier memories slowly being swamped by traumatic ones. He snaps out of it when Splinters body moves between him and the swords. He looks to the others face seeing slight concern. "I'm okay. It's all cool. Everything's cool." He tries to assure the other though is actually a little shaken. He can see that Splinter isn't really buying it.
"You do not have to hide. We are here to help you while you're here." Splinter reminds Leon while watching him carefully. "Now, try that again and tell me what you're really feeling."
Leon slightly glances away before taking a breath. "Okay. I'm a little shaken I guess. The memories came back up despite me trying to push it away."
"That is better." Splinter nods his head to this looking pleased. "We will take a break. Do whatever you feel like to calm down for now."
"Okay." Leon agrees and wheels away. He decides to look for Raphael wondering if he is ready to try to win Leonardo over.
Raphael comes out of his room then upon seeing Leon heads right over to him. "Okay. Let's do this." He says with his arms crossed across his chest.
"Remember to not just start an argument when trying to do this." Leon reminds him which Raphael nods. "Okay then. Lets figure out where he went first."
The two look around until they find Leonardo in his room meditating. So they head to the living room to talk alone.
"We have some time at least." Raphael mentions.
"We do. Now my advice is that you should say it in your own way. But be clear. Sometimes hints don't get picked up so easily. You can practice if you want before you do it." Leon offers with a slightly sly smirk.
Raphael grumbles making Leon start to think he might not go for it. He pauses before sighing. "This is stupid."
"You could always just go for it. Compliment him and tell him about how you feel." Leon elbows Raphael's arm. "Be nicer when trying to tell him. And be as honest as you can about it all. You want it to go well after all." He tells him.
Raphael slightly glances away looking anywhere but where Leon is. "Ugh. Fine!" He turns to look to Leon who tries to give his best Leonardo impression. He hesitates clearly thinking this practice idea is stupid, making him rethink doing this.
Before the choice could be made a door opens causing the two to turn.
Leonardo walks out heading kind of towards them probably heading for the kitchen.
"Nows your chance." Leon nudges Raphael towards the other. He gives a smile then the other slightly glares at him.
Raphael turns away taking a breath before approaching Leonardo who stops to look to him. "Hey Leo. I wanted to talk with you for a moment."
"Sure Raph. What's going on?" Leonardo inquires watching Raphael.
Leon stares at Raphael trying to demand him to go through with this.
Raphael takes a breath before continuing. "Leo. I like you. More than I should. Whether or not you feel the same I thought you should know." He slightly shifts clearly worried about the answer while trying to not make it obvious. He pauses when Leonardo suddenly kisses his cheek. He blinks at the other.
"I like you too Raph." Leonardo confirms smiling to Raphael who gains a smile too. "I thought you didn't like me too so I didn't say anything."
"Well I do!" Raphael tells Leonardo grabbing his shoulders, before leaning in sealing their lips together in a kiss.
Leon smiles feeling proud of himself as he helped them have this moment. He feels a pat on his shoulder so he turns.
Donatello gives him a good job smile.
Leon turns away grinning to himself.