"Stop! Stop, it hurts!" Addison leans against the doorframe as she enters, pausing to spectate. Reagan is clutching her stomach, her voice coming out in gasp's interspersed with laughter. Kaira's bent nearly in half, laughing so hard she's actually crying, long hair sweeping toward the floor with each shake of her shoulders. "Markus!" And Reagan's swatting half- heartedly at him even as she huffs for breath. Addison let's a smile settle over her features as she watches them interact, allowing the charade to go on a few moments longer. Happiness, she's come to realize, is such a precious gift.
She crosses her ankles as Kaira slaps her palm onto one knee, completely covering her face as she continues to wheeze for breath, content to watch. And as she does so, her thoughts wander back to the stack of papers on her desk, filed neatly in a Manila folder. Nondescript, no one will notice them.
They're half filled out, of course, because she's here instead of at her desk, yet watching the scene unfold before her has no doubt in Addison's mind that finishing them is of the utmost importance.
This child deserves a family that loves her.
This is the family that loves her.
Addison inhales, steeling herself as she takes the first step forward, her mind set. It's improbable, of course, but not impossible. Kaira taught her that nothing is impossible.
"Alright, hooligans." Addison calls out, swatting her papers equally at both doctors. She catches Markus in the shoulder, and Kaira on the back of her head. "You're disturbing my patient. Gather your things and step outside accordingly."
"Awe." Kaira gasps softly, rising as she shakes out her mass of hair, wrangling it back into a neat tie.
"Awe. Doctor Satan's here." Addison raises a brow at Markus, whom only grins. "Right. Sorry. Doctor Ruler of all that is evil."
"Better." Addison swats him again, regardless. "Out with you now." She tilts her head at Kaira, who's only taken Reagan's hand in one of hers, kissing the top of her head.
"We'll come back after your exam. Be good."
"Promise?" Reagan says softly, and Addison's heart breaks. Kaira turns her gaze to Addison, who nods.
"Promise." Kaira gribs Addison's elbow briefly, squeezing as she smiles sadly on her way out the room. But she has a job to do, she can't linger on the paperwork and the what- ifs. That's the attitude that brings Addison to her monitors, lowering her glasses to her nose.
"It's good to see you laughing and smiling." She speaks gently, glancing down at Reagan, who's got her eyes closed.
"Yea. Markus is pretty funny." She smiles at that.
"Yea. He's a pretty good guy. Otherwise Kaira wouldn't keep him around." Addison circles the bed, checking the cast that runs from Reagan's fingers to shoulder, adjusting the sling it sits in slightly.
"I suppose not." There's a rash, and Addison writes down a note to get some topical cream for it. She moves her stethoscope to her ear, counting breaths, and sighs softly. "I… have a question." Reagan finally asks, as Addison's setting up to check her other injuries.
"Of course, sweet girl." And Reagan blinks, tears welling behind closed lids.
"Can… can you run an STD test too?" She sobs out, catching Addison's jacket in her good hand. Addison pauses, considering pulling one of the chairs closer before pressing her fingers onto the side of the bed.
"May I sit here?" She asks, and Reagan nods vigorously, still clinging to her coat. The cot dips beneath her as she sits, wrapping an arm around the slighter girl. For as lithe as she is, in this moment she seems tiny, curling into Addison's abdomen as sobs consume her. They don't speak for a while, Addison content to run her fingers through red- brown hair, to let a little girl cry out her feelings. "Tell me how it started." She finally says, her voice soft, hand rubbing soothing circles against her back.
"I… just…" Reagan inhales, shaking with the effort. "There's this pretty girl, Yknow?" She wipes her face for her, waiting. "And I just… thought she liked me. For real, for real. And so I met her like she wanted and-" she waves at herself, closing her hand into a fist to slam into the mattress. "You know the rest. Because who could ever love me, right?"
And Addison does know the rest. Medically, emotionally, she will never forget the rest. Because this child is barely fifteen and has had half the bones in her body broken through little less than torture.
Instead, she slides down slightly, taking her hand in her own.
"Easy." She soothes, rubbing the top of her hand. "Breathe." And Reagan inhales, shivering against her.
"And I can't tell Kaira because she'll kill them. I'm convinced."
"For sure." Addison agrees, because it's a miracle neither she nor Kaira has killed them. A true force of willpower. "So much of this is wrong, sweet girl." She says instead, tucking Reagan against her side. "Parents, even foster ones, are supposed to love you. Unconditionally. And take care of you, and protect you from all the scary things out there in the world." It strikes Addison then, that she's not great at this. She works with babies because they can't judge her, they don't understand the concept of what she's saying. She can't get it wrong, with babies. Not the way she can get it wrong, here. But she's already too deep, and can't dig herself out now. All she can do is talk about what she knows. "And as for pretty girls, and loving you."
She thinks of Kaira, because it's the only thing tangible. The only thing strong enough to keep her hope in love.
"You'll know when someone loves you. It's in their eyes." The way Kaira looks at her, as though it's within her power to cease the spinning of the entire world. "And their touch." The softness of every touch, the easy ones against her back when she's having a rough day, or the way her arms tighten as they're waking up in the morning and they're not quite ready to let go of one another. "And their voice." The teasing, the comfort, and the laughter. "It's easy." Because it is. "You'll just know."
Addison looks down, and catches Reagan gazing up at her, curious.
"It's you, isn't it." She says quietly. "The one Kaira's always talking about." Addison brushes bangs out of her face with her fingers, and she responds with a nod. Because there's no use denying it. Not here.
"Yea. It's me." Reagan just hugs her, best she can, with one arm. "Do you feel better?"
"Mmhmm." There's a nod against her, and she has to work to peel herself away from a single arm, swinging slowly away from the bed. "Addison." Reagan says softly, as she's standing.
"Reagan." She answers, with a little smile.
"You probably know, but… Kaira really loves you too, Yknow?" Addison smiles, and nods, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.
"I know." Because she does, because it's there every time they touch. Every time there's a wayward glance in the other's direction. Because Addison's heard the whispered words against her ear when she's thought to be asleep. "I'll tell her soon."
"Promise?" Reagan asks, and Addison nods.
"Promise."
"We should get her something." Addison taps her fingers on the gurney between them, looking down at the woman as she speaks.
"I'm telling you, all that kid wants for Christmas is a family." Kaira responds, adjusting the gas beside her ever so slightly.
"Kaira-" she wants to tell her about the papers, that she fully intends to give that child a family for Christmas.
"Addie." But it's not a rebuttal, nor an argument. It's the voice Kaira uses when the patient is about to code. "Get the baby out now."
"It looks like one of the parcels has burst." One of the techs calls from across the table, and Addison's gaze only narrows.
"Damnit." Their conversation is going to have to wait, for as little as an argument it is, it's still less important than the lives on the table, the lives in their hands right this second. So she settles into calculated silence, only breaking concentration when the pager's all simultaneously alert. One of the nurses looks down, and then up.
"Code… silver?"
Addison freezes.
Kaira freezes.
They've been around the block long enough to know what that is. They're in charge.
"Everyone out." Kaira's voice is ice. "Use the stairs. Go. Now." But Addison continues to work, silent. Neoprene snaps, as the door opens, and then shuts. She's handed a clamp, touching her pinky to Kaira's as she stands beside her.
Addison won't leave the baby.
Kaira won't leave Addison.
"He needs further surgery." She speaks softly, and their pagers light silently in the empty suite.
"Procedure is to get to the emergency floor. We can proceed there." She speaks even as she's intubating, shifting from the main gas line to one of the backup, portable units. Addison nods, looking towards the mother, already dead. "Addison. There is an armed shooter in this hospital. Right now."
"I know."
"We need to go."
"I know." And so they do, moving beside their patient toward the elevator. The doors open with a too- loud ding. The gurney rolls over the gap, and Kaira's monitor releases a high pitched noise as it jolts.
"Shit-" she curses, even as one hand catches the analgesic, adjusting.
"Hey-" neither of them recognizes the voice. Addison's head hits the gurney as she's thrust against it, face down, and she can feel Kaira's weight against her. She sees stars from the impact. There's a crack and-
Gunshots
The medical side of her brain fills in for her.
Two.
Kaira punches the door control, huddled down over her. Cracking, little mini explosions. The dark edges of her vision fade back to normal.
Two more.
The second two impact the door, bending it, and she reaches out to pull the emergency stop, tripping the alarm.
"Kaira-"
"I'm fine. He's not." Addison's attention turns, because she's right. Their patient is coding. They work together, perfectly in sync, timeless. Perfect. Addison closes the baby as quickly and efficiently as she could ask for, even under better conditions.
That's when she notices the blood.
There's two streaks over the anesthesia control, and a third over the tank adjustment.
"How is he?" Kaira pants, leaning against the wall.
"He's good. Great. He'll live." Addison strips her gloves, dropping them to the floor as she punches the door control. Any floor. Any floor with help. She hadn't noticed. It hadn't crossed her mind that maybe, just maybe, Kaira had put her and her patient first.
"That's great." Kaira's head is back, and she's sinking, even as Addison's hands wrap around her, trying to keep her upright. "Addie-"
"Kaira, don't do this." she finds the wound, blood blossoming on the back of her warm- up jacket.
Two gunshots.
She can't find the second wound, putting pressure on the first. Pressing her hands to the open hole in her shoulder.
"…love." Addison's sobbing, on her knees on the floor, cradling her face against her shoulder even as Kaira's eyes flutter.
"Don't do this. Don't go." She sobs out, patient forgotten. Shaking her. "Kaira-! Kaira-! Please, I." She presses her lips to her forehead, and then her mouth. Nothing. "Don't you dare! Don't take a bullet for me and do this!" She's screaming, because she doesn't care who hears her. Despair takes over, and Addison crumples, her head against Kaira's chest, blood spilling over the hand on her shoulder. She's leaving streaks on Kaira's face with the other as she strokes, trying desperately to rouse her. To get any sort of response. How hadn't she noticed? She can't stop her tears, can't think objectively.
Can't save the only thing, the only person, that matters to her. So instead she's screaming, because she can't see through the tears. Because this can't be happening. This can't be real.
"I love you."