Chapter 14

Summary: Troy eats some pie

Abed's face actually lit up as he gazed toward the back of the diner. Although he had been getting increasingly animated during the most recent discussions of the potential mastermind of this entire saga, he was now in a form Shirley had never before seen. He actually seemed to be growing taller if that were possible such that his heart was almost pulling him up and outward toward…

"Troy!"

"Well, yeah, Shirls, let's not pretend you hadn't already figured it out." A beaming and full-bearded Troy was in fact standing at the back of the diner, having just emerged from the kitchen. He was swaggering in a likely well-rehearsed manner, and he was clad in a bona fide pirate outfit with a pigeon instead of a parrot on his shoulder. The eye patch was the final touch.

Gasps were heard from the study group and Shirley, although she had of course worked it all out by now, was giddy in delight and then made an active effort to stop herself from running toward him with a full bear hug. This was not the time, as she could see Abed was almost on the verge of joyful tears.

As suddenly was Troy.

"Come here, man." Troy opened his arms, the pigeon flying off his shoulder and into Britta's hair, and amongst the shrieks a well-suited Abed ran toward him.

The embrace was met with Annie awwws and what was the unmistakable Jeff sigh from Shirley's left. She turned and made eye contact with him, and his eyes were wet with wonder. He silently mouthed, "You knew?" and she nodded with a big smile before turning back to watch.

As Devon helped disentangle Britta from the bird, Shirley was able to focus her full attentions onto the reunion.

The dynamic duo embraced, and a collective cheer rose from the crowd. Shirley considered that most present would have no idea the significance of such an event and then realized that of course Troy had orchestrated everything, even the crowd reaction.

Troy and Abed's hug was long and it was intense, judging by the way they both moved side to side as their balance was thrown off by the embrace. There were unintelligible murmurs from both of them, and Shirley quickly reflected through her mind on all of it.

Troy was Diane. Troy somehow knew about Frankie, but she wasn't clued in on how. Troy sent Abed wads of cash, likely from his inheritance which he must have received after sailing the world. Troy had sent Audrey and knew she was just the type to cast. Troy had arranged for the fake murder and paid off a slew of who she assumed to be actors.

And he had kidnapped Dean Grassley and Audrey and fed them ice cream.

She had in her mind to give that boy a good talking to after she finished loving on him.

xxxxxx

Several minutes had passed, enough time for Devon and Britta to free the pigeon and for Britta to march up to Troy and slap his shoulder before she softened into a bright smile and pulled him in for her own hug as Abed disengaged.

"You loon!"

"It's not a loon, it's a pigeon!"

"Why didn't you tell me you were back? I've been talking to you every week."

Troy shrugged, "I'm sorry, but I didn't wanna ruin the surprise. And let's face it, as much as I love you Britta, you can't keep a secret."

"Hey!"

At this, Abed tilted his head and remarked, "You've been talking to Britta?"

Troy turned back toward him and nodded with an expression of bashfulness. "Yeah, I needed to get some info on how things were at Greendale in order to pull this all off. And hey, of course I would have reached out to you, but then you know that would have kind of ruined the surprise."

"That makes sense. I forgive you. This was a hell of a lot of fun."

Shirley turned toward Devon, who was now watching all this with intense interest, and she explained, "That's Troy."

"I kind of figured. He matches the description Audrey gave me for who hired her in Singapore." He shook his head and let out a low laugh before adding, "This is bananas."

"I told you. It's the Greendale Effect."

She smiled and finally decided it was her turn, only very quickly checking in with Annie and Jeff, who were leaning into each other and looking the happiest she had ever seen them. They both nodded their agreement to her, so she set off.

She scuffled over to Troy and stared at him for a moment, letting it all sink in. He seemed older and of course all the facial hair was certainly dramatic and his skin was weathered from the sun, but it was definitely him. The childlike wonder in his eye and then his eyes as he removed his eye patch and growing grin sealed it for her and she grabbed him.

"Hey, Shirleeeeeee."

"Ooooh, Troooooy, I missed you so much, baby."

She may have held him so very close for what seemed like minutes but probably wasn't. If it was, she really didn't care. At least he felt like he had some meat on his bones, but he was still kind of skinny. She'd fix that.

"You need some pie."

"Yeah, that sounds amazing."

Abed and Shirley walked on each side of Troy as he made his way toward the diner counter and then they sat beside him. The waitress brought him the final slice of pie that had been set out, the one Shirley knew had been reserved for him. Annie, Jeff, and Devon joined them but stood so they could be closer, with Troy giving Jeff and Annie quick fist bumps before he grabbed his fork.

"When did you figure it out, Shirley?" Troy wiggled his eyebrows.

"Not until very recently, but it all makes sense. You're the only one who would have done this for Abed."

"And you, man?" Troy turned toward Abed.

"I may have had a hunch when you came into my motel room the other night and bent your arms back."

"Yeah, that was kind of a tip off."

"It was a nice touch. You finally finished Twin Peaks."

"I did, and now I kind of see what you see in it. I don't know why I had been so resistant before."

Audrey came up behind Troy and gave him a hug around his back.

"Hey, did I do good?"

"I'll say. You were perfect."

She winked at Abed, and he smiled slightly with what seemed like admiration and respect.

"So you don't love me?"

"Of course I do, babe. Let's talk later."

Shirley made a loud ummm hmmmm and everyone turned toward her with the exception of Abed, who was now addressing Troy.

"The pigeon with the scroll was a nice touch," he remarked as the pigeon flew back and perched itself on Troy's shoulder.

"It took me months to train him."

"You remember that I replaced the missing parts of your DNA with the genes of a homing pigeon."

"I had the compulsion to come back. I also brought Levar, but he ditched me in the Atlanta airport."

Jeff nodded and walked up and leaned down and hugged Troy too. "Hey buddy. Thanks for bringing us all together."

Annie sidled up and kissed Troy's cheek. "We really missed you."

"Aww, thanks guys. I've been having a crazy time, Levar and I got captured by pirates. But we ended up making friends. Turns out they hadn't ever played charades before, but they ended up really into it. And then we taught them Twister and we twisted our way off a plank. But then we got rescued from the shark infested waters, so that was good or I wouldn't have been able to reunite us all." He gulped and then resumed eating his pie as Annie, Jeff, Britta, Devon and Shirley all exchanged alarmed looks.

Shirley ventured, "Troy, we're so very glad you were rescued."

He paused his munching to say, "Yeah, him helping us was a plot twist I hadn't seen coming, but in retrospect it made sense, you know. Like why give me a whole ass boat to sail when I don't even know how to sail?"

Jeff frowned. "I don't follow."

Abed suddenly stood and nodded vigorously. "I knew it! You bastard, I knew it! Bumbles' murder was only part of the mystery!"

Troy rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah, of course. I figured you'd know Bumbles was alive. But you got the rest of it?" He waited and then turned to Shirley and lifted his brows.

She had been such a fool. The fake murder, the paintball pointing to a fake murder rather than a real one, the swapping of the deans. The Twin Peaks shenanigans. The revelation of Bumbles as alive had been anti-climatic after all of that. Troy knew Abed better than he knew anyone. And he also knew her love of a good mystery.

She turned over the phrasing in her mind.

Him helping us was a plot twist I hadn't seen coming, but in retrospect it made sense. Why give me a whole boat to sail when I don't even know how to sail?

And he had been conveniently rescued from what otherwise would have been near-certain death in shark-infested waters.

She exclaimed, "There's one person missing from your little play, Troy. One person I don't think I've ever met."

Abed smiled the widest she had ever seen and waited for her to have her moment.

She turned toward Devon and asked, "Do you see Custodian Bob here?"

He frowned and scanned the room.

"No, I don't think so. He's pretty tall." He continued to look around.

"With white hair? He's older?"

"Yeah."

"Ummm hmmm."

Jeff and Annie both went, "Nooooooo" as Britta's eyes widened with incredulity.

"Oh, yes, I think so." Shirley shouted to the whole room, "Custodian Bob! Reveal yourself!"

The room fell silent for several moments and then came a slow clapping. Shirely and everyone else turned to the kitchen and a tall older gentleman in custodial scrubs with a cap began walking toward them.

"That's him! That's Custodian Bob!" Gasped Devon.

"That's not who he is." Shirley patted his arm and then after giving a look at Annie, Jeff, and Britta, they all began their walk toward him.

As the man came nearer, he pulled off his cap and sneered, "It's me!"

"We know that, Pierce! Stop being such a weirdo and get over here and explain to us why you faked your death!" She whined as she said it, for at this point she was exasperated and for some reason she was suddenly the happiest she had been in ages, save for her recent alone times with Devon.

Her Greendale family was back together. Pierce wasn't dead. Troy had returned home.

She thudded into Pierce, hugging him profusely which seemed to surprise him, with Annie and Britta joining her as Jeff held back for a moment before he then went in for the same.

Troy and Abed came ambling up to their side and Abed said, "Pierce. Nice touch. When did you get in from the Philippines?"

"How did you….?" But Pierce then sighed and said, "Whatever."

"I told Britta you were alive a few weeks ago but I'm not sure she believed me."

"I did too, Troy. Or maybe I didn't. I don't know."

Jeff and Annie both stared at her.

Jeff managed, "And you didn't think to mention it to us? Or that fact that you were talking to Troy?"

"You two never listen to me anyway. I'm sick of playing whatever fiddle I am to you two. God, I'm glad you finally boinked and can put us all out of our collective misery."

Pierce, now temporarily free from hugs, slapped Jeff on the back. "Finally. Now don't fuck it up or I will kill you. Annie's my princess."

Annie said, "Pierce! Why would you do this?! We mourned you!" She teared up once again and started swatting him, with Pierce then pulling her into another hug.

"I'm sorry. I just needed to get out of Greendale for a while and I wanted to help Troy discover who he was, become a man away from A-bed." He paused and then stared at Troy and then at Abed before adding, "I see I was half right but I guess some bonds can't be broken." He then sulked and added, "Fine, I'll just go back to the Philippines."

Shirley shouted, "You will do no such thing! Stop it!" She then lowered her voice and asked, "You helped Troy set this whole thing up? Why?"

"Because I missed you all."

"Awwwww."

"Annie."

"What, Jeff? It's nice."

As the group all lingered and whispered, the crowd began to disperse, Shelly or whatever her name was passing out rounds of more pie and a huge ass carafe of coffee. Devon stepped away, conscious of the fact he was feeling like a voyeur. He was a tad unnerved when Abed joined him and let out a heavy sigh befitting of having solved a case.

Devon, now fully fatigued, remarked, "There's a whole lot I don't understand."

"We're all like that, Harry. I have no idea where this will lead us, But I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange."

"Yeah?"

"And Pierce is back, something I didn't think we needed. But I have Troy, so I'll take it."