Summary: Priya and Bowie chat with Shawn, the runner-up from Pahkitew Island. How he got on the show, survival tips against zombies, and his life with Jasmine are the highlights of today's episode of The Drama Podcast. And to help our co-hosts, Axel is on hand as well.
Priya: Hi! My name is Priya.
Bowie: And mine is Bowie.
Priya: We were the finalists of the new season of Total Drama Island, available worldwide on HBO Max. The producers asked us to promote the rebooted series in some exciting way, so we decided to do a podcast with some of the former contestants!
Bowie: In each episode, we will interview a contestant who has left their mark on the show. Can you imagine how much backstage gossip there is? Me neither.
Priya: And that's not to mention that we will have our friends from the new season as special guests! Isn't that right, Axel?
Axel had his legs up on the table. She seemed more interested in killing a wandering mosquito than the podcast.
Axel: Huh?
Priya: Axel, pay attention!
Priya stomped her foot on the ground, whining. The apocalypse survival expert girl grumbled.
Axel: Alright, alright! Fine!
Bowie: Our guest today is an apocalypse expert like our friend Axel. But not any kind of apocalypse: zombie apocalypse. We're hosting Pahkitew Island runner-up Shawn here on The Drama Podcast!
Shawn: Nice to be here!
Shawn didn't look much different from when he was a teenager. If anything, he was more bearded. He wore a black T-shirt that said ZOMBIES IN SIGHT and skipped his beanie, opting instead to keep his hair in a ponytail.
Opening
A screen is filled with photos of Shawn's iconic moments on the show, such as the shock collar episode, his discovery that the island was mechanical, his kiss with Jasmine, and his fight in the semifinals and the finale.
The camera zooms out, showing that the thousands of photos make the words The Drama Podcast.
Priya: Hi Shawn!
Shawn: Hi Priya.
The two got up and hugged.
Bowie: Hi Shawn.
Shawn: Hi Bowie.
As Priya sat back down, Bowie got up and kissed Shawn on the cheek in a friendly way.
Axel: Hey, bro.
Shawn: Hey, sis.
Axel and Shawn did a high-five while smiling. The co-hosts widened their eyes.
Bowie and Priya: ARE YOU TWO RELATED?
The brother and sister looked at each other and began to giggle.
Shawn: We are only 13 years apart. No big gap.
Axel: Actually, 12 years and 6 months. Stop rounding the numbers.
Axel slapped Shawn's arm playfully.
Priya: That explains why you're so good at survival tactics.
Bowie: And horrible in social communication...
Shawn: Someone needed to be responsible for her survival training. Just to give you an idea, I only have an 8.5 primitive survival rating. She's a pro!
Axel blushed at the praise.
Bowie: I think we can start there then. How is your family?
Shawn: Well, I grew up with my mom and dad in Yuma, Arizona. Our family was kind of poor, we lived in a trailer near the desert. Our family was kind of poor, we lived in a trailer near the desert. The only thing we had for fun was a satellite TV; we went to the mall on the weekends. My dad named me Shawn, after a baseball player he liked. I think his name is Shawn Green.
Axel: I'm the youngest in the family. After Shawn, our parents had two more sons before I was born. I remember seeing him during Pahkitew Island, but I was like 4 then. By the way, If I'm known today as Axel, you can thank him; my parents didn't know what to name me, and he suggested Axel because of a comic he read.
Priya: And how did you get started with this idea of zombie survival? Was it something just for the show, or did you really believe in it?
Shawn: Believe it or not, it was because of Shaun of The Dead. My father had rented the movie, and I watched it in secret. I've never been so terrified, I was dreaming about zombies for about three weeks.
Shawn: Then I started watching other zombie films. When I realized I had already devoured several films, from Romero's classic to clichés. Then, I decided to dedicate my life to surviving and hunting zombies.
Axel: I started the same way but with the film 2012. That made me want to survive any global disaster that happens.
Bowie: Good to know this runs in the family...and how did you get on the show? I mean, there isn't any kind of recording of you.
Shawn scratched his hair.
Shawn: Well...I sent a tape, but that it would self-destruct after three reruns. I didn't want anyone to know where I was at that time.
Priya: And where were you?
Shawn: In a desert in New Mexico. I ran away from home to train my survival skills, which triggered a federal investigation that lasted two months. I was charged with assaulting a police officer, but nothing that turned into a criminal record.
Bowie: Impressive...and what did you learn?
Shawn: Those immigrants live in hell on earth! Imagine fleeing without equipment or food through that desert, I would be dead within the first week.
Priya: I think that's already the preamble for our podcast. Time to analyze your journey through Total Drama, from the first episode to the last.
Shawn: Let's go!
The television in the studio began showing scenes from the first episode of Pahkitew Island.
Shawn: You all might be used to it now, but Chris was crazy about selecting teams based on fake parachutes. I don't know how half the cast didn't die.
Priya: You were one of the only ones from Wâneyihtam Maskwak who knew about survival, right?
Shawn: Yep. I can say that that team was quite dysfunctional. Looking back, I'm shocked Sky and I ended up as finalists. Leonard kept thinking he was in a LARP, Ella only knew how to cosplay as a princess, Dave whined all the time, and Sugar was...Sugar.
Bowie: What is your opinion about Beardo? Many argue that he should have continued and not Leonard.
Shawn: I confess that I am partly to blame for this. See, when we went to vote, we only actually had two votes: Leonard for coming up with the idea for the tower and Beardo for just making sounds with his mouth. At the time, I was like whatever, I'll vote for anyone. As far as I know, Sugar and Leonard voted for Beardo to be booted off. Ironically, I liked Beardo more than Leonard. The big guy didn't make fun of my fear of zombies.
Axel: It became a meme that Beardo died after being launched from that cannon. Is it true, bro?
Shawn chuckled.
Shawn: Pffff...dead? He is more alive than ever! The guy was hired to make sound effects at major film studios. He only stopped because of the strike. After seeing why he only communicates through sounds, I regretted voting for him even more.
Priya: The next episode for me has a great title: I Love You, Grease Pig!
Shawn groaned.
Shawn: How I hated that challenge! Everything was very slippery! It was only worth it because it was there that I started talking to Jasmine. Other than that, I don't have much to say other than Leonard was unanimously eliminated.
Bowie: One thing I found strange about that season is that you were out in nature without any apparent food or bathroom. How did you handle it?
Shawn: I can speak as a member of Wâneyihtam Maskwak. We bathed in a nearby stream. The production sent out copies of the clothes we wore every three days, so there was no problem if we were dirty or had some torn pieces. The one who had the most difficulty was Ella because of the dress. Sky had to help her take off her clothes and put them on every time they went to take a shower.
Axel: Did you take a peek?
The question made the co-hosts widen their eyes. It wasn't something they would talk about so naturally.
Shawn: Sorta. Yes, there were times when Ella asked me for help, and I cooperated. But I never looked at her in a perverted way, even though she was half-naked in front of me. But I can say she is a fine lady.
The sister was satisfied with the answer.
Bowie: Speaking of Ella, you came up with the idea for her to sing for the other team in episode three, right? Was it deliberate to get her to leave?
Shawn: It was deliberate. She had a beautiful voice, but listening to her sing all the time was a pain! It doesn't surprise me that there are people who find her irritating.
Priya: The tree camouflage was well done. It is a shame it was only in one scene...
Shawn: I tried replicating it later but no longer had the raw materials.
Bowie: And what were they?
Shawn: Bear shit. And clay.
Axel was drinking water when she spat it out in surprise; Priya and Bowie put their hands over their mouths.
Bowie: Did you put bear poop all over your body as a disguise?
Shawn: It's worse than you imagine. The only bad thing is that it reeked so much that I had to burn the clothes afterwards.
Priya: Let's change the subject before I vomit...how do you rate the trick Sammy did to save himself from elimination?
Shawn: It was risky. Amy could have died right there from anaphylactic shock. I didn't get to see the elimination, but if I were on the other team, I would know that the twins switched places just because of the apple. Sammy wouldn't be stupid enough to eat that apple after we explained it to her, but Amy would.
Axel: One thing I think is cool is how the production showed the development of your relationship with Jas. It was quite cute to see you panicking and seeking love advice from Dave.
The zombie expert blushed a little at his younger sister's teasing.
Shawn: Can we not talk about this, please?
Bowie: Of course, we can talk about when you and Dave almost kissed.
The gay host giggled while Shawn was embarrassed.
Shawn: Ah, shit! I knew this was coming. I admit it crossed my mind to kiss him so we wouldn't get electrocuted. But my zombie paranoia spoke louder, thank God.
Priya: Would you kiss him?
Shawn: To win? Yes! This is not having your hair shaved or drinking water from the toilet. No big deal.
Axel turned to Bowie and Priya.
Axel: My brother is blunt like me. You don't get very elaborate things from both of us.
Bowie: Well then, let's skip to A Blast from the Past. Strangely, it was the only aquatic challenge where no one wore a swimsuit apart from our season.
Axel: I think "aquatic challenge" is a very loose definition. We were on a ship throwing cabbages at each other, and they were hitting each other with bats on a pier. It's more like a "water challenge."
Bowie rolled his eyes, expecting Shawn to talk.
Shawn: And it's a good thing we didn't wear swimsuits because I didn't have any! And I couldn't let my binder get wet; otherwise, the risk of it picking was high.
Priya: Wait, did you say "binder"?
Shawn: I still couldn't do my top surgery, so that was what I could do then.
Priya and Bowie sat in stunned silence. It didn't take long for both of them to scream.
Priya and Bowie: YOU'RE TRANS?
Shawn: Uh, yeah? Axel didn't tell before the interview?
They both shook their heads. Shawn facepalmed.
Shawn: Axel, what did I say to you?
Axel shrank back in his chair, crossing his arms.
Axel: My bad, I forgot.
Shawn: You can't forget this! Look how shocked they are!
He groaned.
Shawn: Since my little sister didn't inform anyone, I'll leave a parenthesis about this: since I was twelve, I have identified as male. Our parents never cared much about what we did as long as we didn't get involved in crimes. I started transitioning soon after. That's why I looked so small that season.
Priya: Did Chris make any comments about...
Shawn: He didn't know anything about me. I signed up as a male, and that was enough. My only concern is that during my stay, I couldn't get any T-shots. And I doubt I could take them without anyone noticing.
Bowie: Did you ever say this to anyone during the show?
Shawn: And why would I do that? Saying that I am trans would not give us any victory. Just like my sister, who is lesbian.
The eyes now turned to the pierced girl, who shrugged.
Axel: What? I thought it was pretty obvious.
Bowie tried to speak, but Priya covered his mouth.
Shawn: I was going to cut my hair more before the competition, but I forgot my scissors. At the time, I thought it would be better for me to cut it than a hairdresser.
Bowie: Because of zombies?
Shawn: In fact, it's because I thought it was an unnecessary expense. Anyway, I almost messed up with Jas in that episode. It was there that I realized that my obsession with zombies could prevent me from getting a girlfriend.
Priya: Funny how the lowest point in your relationship coincided with the peak of your partnership with Dave.
Shawn leaned back in his chair, thoughtful.
Shawn: Dave was a...strange friend. Beneath all his cleaning OCD was a nice guy, and underneath that nice guy was someone who had no idea how to talk to Sky. Nowadays, they would classify Dave as an incel, but I think it's wrong. He was manipulated by Chris until the last moment. Sky didn't help herself, but it was clear she didn't do it on purpose.
Bowie: I imagine that's why you shot down Sugar's proposal for an alliance.
Shawn: Sugar was a nasty person. Physically and metaphorically speaking. It's no wonder that no one wanted an alliance with her after the merger. I would rather die in that cave than owe her a favor.
Priya: This reminds me that the seventh episode is one of the weirdest for me. No one won the challenge. It looked like it was a filler.
Shawn: Worse than the idea of the challenge was good, it's a shame Chris didn't care anymore. We felt like something happened, and he was just there for the money. There were times when he let Chef do anything while he went to his trailer. Once, we saw him drunk and swearing at us. He hit Dave in the face with a wine bottle.
The three teens flinched.
Shawn: And I'll say more: he should have gone to jail for using real babies. That was sick, sick!
Axel: I think if I could handle this Chris, the apocalypse would be a breeze.
Shawn: Don't joke about it. We had some pretty serious food poisoning. The cameras didn't catch everything, it was much worse than what the television showed. It took us a whole day to recover because we also got hypothermia.
Priya: And how did you react to your friend's elimination?
Shawn: Was it...expected!? I mean, I voted for Sky, but I think I was the only one who did that. Everyone else was tired of Dave, even more so after the uproar during the pre-challenge. I didn't even have time to mourn because shortly afterwards, Scarlett invaded the Island's controls and threatened to kill everyone if Chris didn't give her the prize.
Priya: Scarlett Fever. A classic episode.
Shawn: I don't know if you can count that a classic, but it wasn't so bad either. That kiss on the verge of death was the most electrifying thing that happened to me. And when I destroyed all those robots? I felt like the coolest guy in the world.
Axel: I have to confess that the first memory I have of my brother was this scene. He smashed those robots with so much force that I dreamed of him saving me from them for a few nights.
Bowie: As Max was eliminated along with the red-headed psychopath, what was it like to feel like the last...ahem, male on the show?
Shawn: I was worried because of the odds. If I didn't win immunity, I could be eliminated if Sky and Sugar voted for me and forced a tie-break. Still, I was thinking about whether or not to share the prize with Jasmine if we both reached the final. That came to bite me in the ass later.
Priya: Especially after Sugar managed to eliminate her by pure luck, right? The first time I watched that episode, I thought it was a prank.
Shawn: Chris wanted to fuck us, I tell you that! Nobody wanted Sugar, and she floated until the semi-finals. If I could go back in time, I would give my immunity to Jas and have Sugar eliminated.
Bowie: Pahk'd With Talent. It's one of the few episodes I like this season. The idea of getting you to think about a challenge is great!
Priya: Can I ask you a question, Shawn?
Shawn: Shoot.
Priya was really embarrassed, blushing and preferring to look at the ground.
Priya: How did you feel pain when you fell over that obstacle if you didn't have...um...that?
Shawn looked at her without knowing how to respond. Seeing that the doubt was genuine, he laughed.
Shawn: You don't need to have that to feel pain when falling on your groin. And I can assure you, that was as painful as if I had what Bowie has.
Bowie instinctively crossed his legs.
Bowie: You won the challenge by playing music with your armpit. Where did you learn that?
Shawn: I have my old man to thank for that. I not only know how to play Barber of Seville but also Vivaldi's Storm.
Priya: Can you do this for our viewers?
Shawn contemplated the idea.
Shawn: Sure, why not?
The interviewee took off the thick t-shirt he had and was left with a tank top; it was possible to see a scar on his chest, but it was very slight.
Shawn: Can I go?
Priya: The floor is yours!
He started the song, repeating the success that got him to the Pahkitew Island finals. Sweat ran down his face when he risked playing Vivaldi, getting every last note.
The three started to applaud. Axel also whistled.
Priya: And that's Shawn to you, people!
Axel: You rocked, bro!
Shawn continued to wear a tank top; All the effort made him feel hot.
Bowie: With that, we reached the final. How was the preparation?
Shawn: I didn't change my routine because I had little hope of winning. Sky was superior in every possible metric except zombie survival. If it was against Sugar I was completely convinced that I could do it, but against an Olympic athlete, it was difficult.
Axel: Do you think that choice of ally in the final was rigged?
Shawn: Absolutely. I actually counted on that. My only chance of winning was if Jas helped me.
Bowie: While thinking about not sharing the money with her.
Shawn: Yeah...It was a tough decision for me, but I regretted that behavior. She helped me throughout the merger. The least I could have done was help make her dream come true!
Priya: Which makes Chris showing the clips of you saying you were against the idea even more vile.
Shawn: I admit I would have been happy if she and Dave had won the award. She was my girlfriend, and he was my friend. It made total logic. And then Sky showed why she was the strongest competitor that season.
The television showed Sky being proclaimed the winner after creating an avalanche. Shawn is shown being kissed by Jasmine.
Bowie: Awwww, isn't that adorable?
Priya: Really cute!
Axel: I don't want to interrupt the warm feelings, but what happened to Dave? The last shot of the show is him being attacked by Scuba Bear.
Shawn: They put us in the helicopter and only noticed Dave when they finished filming. Luckily for everyone, Dave was okay, although injured. I remember he was covered in oil, and his arms were bleeding. He passed out when he saw us and only woke up in the hospital.
Priya: Good thing he survived. It would be tragic to remember this season as "the one where one of the participants died."
Shawn: After the season, Jasmine and I started dating for real. She didn't know America, so I took her to meet my parents in Arizona while her visa wasn't expiring. As much as we lost, we crowdfunded online and raised enough money for my anti-zombie bunker and her flower shop. After a few years, we decided to settle in Australia, and today I live with her in Perth. Our first child is coming in a few months.
At that time, both Priya and Axel squeak joyfully; the Canadian-Indian for the story and the American for being an aunt.
Priya: And how did Jasmine view the issue of you being Trans? I mean, she had already accepted you as a zombie freak.
Shawn: I confess that I was scared of coming out to her. In the first few months, I kissed her without problems, but I always avoided removing my shirt or bottoms. It's kind of embarrassing, but I only told her after a year because she wanted to have her first time with me. I don't know if I can be more explicit here, but let's just say that not only did she accept me for who I am, she helped me feel like a man. Later, I discovered that she is intersexual, although she identifies as female as well. It had something to do with hormones, but it wasn't an issue in the village where she lived.
Satisfied with the explanation, Bowie took the opportunity to wrap up.
Bowie: Say, Shawn, we're approaching the end of our podcast. Did you watch our season?
Shawn: Jasmine and I saw it on HBO and were amazed at how much better Chris had gotten. And the Chef did more than watch you guys! In fact, I think you're a bit like Sky, Priya.
Priya: W-What? How?
Shawn: You two were excellent competitors, but I liked you more because you created a much better interpersonal relationship than Sky. She never had a Millie to call her own. How my little sister got eliminated too soon, I began to root for you.
Priya was excited by the compliment. Axel stuck his tongue out at his brother, who he returned in kind.
Shawn: Ripper reminded me of Sugar, but he's fun, at least. Man, I really wish I had a season like you guys. It looked really fun.
Bowie: Thanks, Shawn. To conclude, what assessment do you make of your participation in Total Drama?
Before answering, the interviewee downed a glass of water. Talking for an hour made him thirsty.
Shawn: My experience wasn't as bad as other people's. I overcame my fear of zombies, married one of the most attractive women I've ever seen in my life and managed to be the man I always wanted. What more could you ask for?
Bowie: Final thoughts, Priya and Axel?
Priya: I just have to thank our guest. Who knew we would get to know Pahkitew better in such a short time?
Axel: I have nothing to say except that I always knew Shawn as this crazy guy. I hope you don't give the child any weird names!
Shawn: I can't promise!
Brother and sister exchange smiles.
Bowie: And with that, we conclude Shawn's interview on The Drama Podcast! As usual, this live will be recorded, and the cuts will be available on The Drama Bits.
Priya: Don't forget to share with your friends on our social networks and comment on what you think of the episode and who you think will be our next guest. Think you can get it right?
Priya, Bowie, Axel and Shawn: Bye!
Yeah, Shawn is TransMac, Jasmine is intersex, and Axel likes girls. Good for them!
Thumbnails from THE DRAMA BITS:
1. SHAWN'S FAMILY | THE DRAMA BITS
2. PAHKITEW ISLAND | THE DRAMA BITS
3. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD | THE DRAMA BITS
4. DAVE, BEARDO AND SUGAR | THE DRAMA BITS
5. I'M TRANS, WHAT'S THE DEAL? | THE DRAMA BITS
6. AFTER THE SHOW | THE DRAMA BITS