February 26, 2011
I woke up at the crack of dawn, my eyes still groggy from the events of the day before. My eyes peeled back, and the world felt so much clearer.
The fruits of my labor were finally bearing their results, and I knew it was only going to be the beginning. With a factory all to myself, there was practically no limit to what I could do. Adding the stream of tech to my back pocket, and I could feel something in my chest burn.
I didn't know what it was, but it felt good. Warming my entire body despite still being in the midst of winter.
My eyes drooped, the allure of sleep still on my mind as I blinked in and out of the edge of consciousness. "Why can't I wake up laaaterr," I drawled. My call found nobody as I yawned. "Why should I even care about a sleep schedule?"
A spike of pain lanced through my head, my eyes snapping open as I grit my teeth. "Fuck!" Snarling, I shook in place as if it would do anything.
'Sleep Deprivation' I inwardly supplied, wiping away the vestiges of dirt in my eye…. Only for my left arm to come short. My brows furrowed, a heavy frown framing itself on my face as I tugged on it.
It didn't work at first. But with just a few more, the sheets came flying off, and with it, revealed the person underneath. A head of golden blonde hair wrapped around my arm, the AI now wearing the clothes the girl left in lieu of staying naked.
Normally, I would have offered her my clothes, but she had turned them down before I could say anything. The retort dying in my throat with a simple wink…. A damn wink.
I could barely wrap my head around it. For all the cold hard logic I tried to talk myself into believing. For all the talks of sacrificing my own humanity. All it took was a single wink to make all of it falter. It would have even been funny if it weren't so sad.
"Cry me a river of tears." I whispered to myself, pushing the thought aside for a moment as I tried my best to get out of bed. "It might just be enough to stretch out to freedom." The words left my lips, and I felt myself smile.
Hope. Just a small amount. But I still had hope. Hope that I would actually survive the things to come. I smiled, the corners of my lips rising to my cheeks. It was slim. A hair's chance…
Why did it matter?
The thought struck me like a truck. Why did I do anything? I didn't have family. I had very few, if any friends. I was all alone, for what it mattered. There was nothing tethering me to this place. And yet, I felt compelled to stay.
My jaw gaped a bit, legos forming underneath my feet as I walked into the kitchen. Was it my power? Was there something that I still had to do here?
I hummed into my palm, my other hand opening the cupboards as I looked over my pantry. "No, I don't think so…" I frowned. "There's nothing keeping me here, is there?" My brows knitted together, my fingers tracing my jaw line as I ran the thought by me again.
But something felt wrong. Like knots twisting in my gut, I couldn't put a finger on why that was. I knew what this place was going to turn into. I knew what was going to happen. I knew that if I stayed in the ABB, there wasn't going to be any hope for me.
So then why did I still stay?
"Because you never got enough attention growing up." A familiar voice snickered. "Mom was always studying, working in the clinic. And as for dad? Well, he was also too busy. In the end, even in different universes, it was never enough for either of us, was it?"
A groan slipped from my lips, spilling out without so much as a thought. "And what do you know? We led different lives. You aren't me, and I'm not you. We might as well be different fucking people for crying out loud!"
The shout rang throughout the warehouse I called home, echoing for several seconds, before fading away. There was silence. Complete and total silence, as even the world outside became quiet.
"Because despite that, mom and dad will always be the same. We might have been raised in different environments, but at the end of the day, they're still the same people deep down. And for all of the things that changed between us, I know for a damn fact that neither of them will. Not in a million years."
The voice sounded wistful. Melancholic? It was hard to tell with no facial expressions, but he did drop his tone. "We're greedy fucks that take and take, but give very little. I'm a self-serving asshole who does whatever it takes to make life easier, better, more fun."
He paused, a soft, but deep chuckle rumbling from the voice. "Give it some time. You'll find out. Maybe we might even get to see what kind of asshole you turn out to be."
"What kind of asshole am I?" A grin eclipsed whatever expression I had, even if it felt hollow. "What kind of asshole are you? We both know for a fact that anything you say is utter bullshit, a lie you tell yourself to feel better, to make you certain of something. And now you expect me to follow what you say along? Keep fucking dreaming, maybe those lies of yours might actually become real. And maybe, just fucking maybe, we might be out of each other's hairs."
"Who knows, you might actually have a body to call your own once again. Graduate beyond being just a damn impostor."
"Well… I tried." He shrugged. "Oh, I've tried. I tried to help. But, no. No, sir. You didn't want any of my help. Shit, this is what I get for helping a brother out. Tsk," He annoyingly sneered. "Whatever happens now, is all your fault. Least you could do is die a legend, yeah? Wouldn't want to try this hard, only for you to die like a dog."
The voice faded away, dimming by the second until it was little more than a whisper. Eventually though, it died down. And the room felt just a little bit colder.
A chill ran down my spine, my arms freezing down the bone as I tried to warm my hands. "Fuck," I cursed, my air becoming too thin to breathe. "It's too damn early to have an argument in my head. I can't be doing this for much longer."
"Hmm, what's got you so worked up in the morning?" Aigis buzzed, a weight pressing down against my shoulder. "I don't think breakfast is supposed to involve shouting. And you left your phone on the nightstand, so it couldn't have been a call."
The AI dissected the scene like a detective, tilting her head to look at me as I stared at her scarred visage. "If I may, creator? What is plaguing your thoughts on this fine morning? What's on your mind?"
She sounded like a child who wouldn't leave until you told them what was wrong. Though, I suppose she was a child in a sense, being only a day old.
"Nothing. Nothing you should be worried about," I dismissed her concerns with a wave, the AI shooting me a displeased look as I moved out of her way. "Seriously, it's nothing. Just a slight bump in the road that won't bother me ever again."
She scrutinized every inch of me, her right eye flashing with a dim blue light, before it faded. "I won't judge you. And I'll take you up on your word." She sounded hesitant to even speak. "But that doesn't mean I'll keep quiet about it for long. I can't in good conscience just watch you like this."
"Huh, and here I thought AIs weren't supposed to have a conscience," I mused to myself as Aigis' expression darkened. "What can I say? Really, it's not that bad. I just had an argument with the voices in my head where I told it to fuck off…" I paused. "Or not. That's also a possibility."
"Quite," She hummed. "Have you tried therapy?"
"I have not, how could you tell?"
"Oh dear. I think I'm starting to understand why you made me like this."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" I shot back, an appalled look on my face. "I'll have you know, I am a well-functioning member of society. Something I don't think you are."
She took what I said in stride, not missing a single beat. "And I have been online for barely even a day. Can't exactly say I had the time to experience the world when I was stuck inside all day trying to help you."
She crossed her arms under her chest, and breathed out a wholly unnecessary sigh. "Just try to go outside, okay? I'm worried this place is messing too much with your mental space. Take a step back, relax. And then come back. I'll deal with manufacturing in the meantime. Just…" She paused, her imperfect, scarred face flashing me a megawatt smile.
"Take care, okay? I wouldn't want to lose you so soon."
A flame lit in my heart as I stared at her. Suddenly, the world felt warmer, each color became brighter, and she looked even more beautiful in my eyes. "Maybe I will. Maybe I will," My voice softened, taking a step towards the blonde as I wrapped a hand behind her back, pulling her in. "Maybe I will… if you start cooking breakfast~."
Aigis' body quivered. Though, whether or not that was artificial, I had no clue.
"Sure, what would you like~?" Her tone lowered, becoming almost sultry. "Eggs? Bacon? Chicken? Or perhaps, you'd like something personally made by me?" she blew into my ear, catching me flat-footed in my own trap.
"Ughhh, I don't know?" I nervously chuckled, my confidence disappearing just as quickly as it came to me. "I don't think I've decided yet, actually. Was too busy talking to myself, I guess." Scratching my neck, a bead of cold sweat trailed down my face as the ceiling suddenly became so much more interesting.
"Uh, huh. Sure." She nodded, the side of her head pressing against my chest. "Then I'll just make something even better than my best, okay? A little extra to get a good start on your day." Her words were like honey, my thoughts finding themselves in a haze as I blinked.
I was doing this. Holy shit, I was doing this. Grabbing the sides of her head, I traced her jaw line, and cupped her chin. "The-Then what more could I ask for?"
"A little extra sugar."
{--}
February 26, 2011
"I don't think I bought the right kind."
Looking over the docks, I plugged in a pair of earbuds, attaching myself to the sound. Normally, in the warmer months, the sound of waves could be heard all throughout the bay area. And during those times, I'd just sit here.
For hours on end, I would just listen. An ear always out to hear the sound of the ocean. Things were simpler back then, I remembered. The only things I ever needed to worry about was homework, or a reply slip I needed my mom to sign. But that was about it.
Here, I felt free. Alone in my own little paradise. Where I could relax.
Memories slipped from the back of my mind, a cold reminiscence of something I couldn't remember. It was like watching a grainy movie on a top of the line TV, I just couldn't make heads or tails of it.
In the memory, I found a younger version of me playing on the beach, the coarse sand around me pressed into my knees as yet another plastic cup sand castle was destroyed. It was a bittersweet memory, looking back on it. One that I had fond feelings of.
"I don't think I'm ready for this," I said to no one in particular. Everywhere I looked, not a single person strolled. Where once this part of the bay was a wild tourist attraction, now, all that laid were old broken down buildings that seemingly held an infinite number of junkies.
"When will I ever be ready for anything?" This time, the question was more pointed, my arms wrapping around one another as a cold waft of steam blew from my lips. "I wasn't ready for when they left. I… wasn't ready for when I got my powers. Hell, I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready for anything, but I still learned and pushed through.
It was just… I wished there was someone to guide me there.
However, the frozen sea didn't care about my plights. But I still liked to think it did, even if that hope was faint.
Sighing, I allowed myself to stew in my own thoughts, the music playing in my ears doing its best to soothe my emotional turmoil as I mentally drifted. The world passed in a time lapse with me frozen in place, with a plastic bag in hand. It was odd to think about it. To question what kind of road that led me here. Why it led me here?
Looking up at the beaming sun above, a breath left my lips as a pulse of warmth heated up my body, sinking just a little bit further into the seat. I lost myself in the feeling, falling further and further until I couldn't see a thing. Everything was obscured by the thick bundles of clothes I wore.
"Hmm. Not often I found kids your age sitting in this part of town. Especially not at this time," The words sounded muffled, but I could clearly hear them. "So kid, what's your story? Could at least explain why you aren't in school."
Taking the seat next to me, he barely made a sound. The man placed a little brown bag next to him as he tapped his feet to an inaudible tune, glancing at his watch before offering me a smile.
He was a stick of a man, with a weak chin, lanky arms, it didn't help to dissuade that image. Beyond that, he was of little note, wearing a pair of glasses and winter clothes. If I walked past him in the streets, I don't think I would have paid him any mind at all. "Fine, be like that. Not like it's in my place to prod, so it's understandable."
I was zoning out, I realized all too late. My cheeks flushed, and my face became hotter. The man let out a hearty chuckle as I stammered for a response.
"I-I don't know," I got out, twiddling my thumbs, as if it'd do anything. "I don't know anything, sir. Everything's been changing, and it's way too fast for me to even keep up. I don't think I can handle this for much longer. It's like I'm on a rollercoaster with no stops. Objects appear and disappear in the blink of an eye. I can barely even tell what's happening half of the time."
"Thought I could go here, you know? Lose myself in the frozen hellscape while I decide what to do next."
"A break? In the docks?" The man sounded like he was either about to laugh or gawk, but neither was really any better. "Sorry. Just wouldn't be my first choice. Nor do I think it'd be any normal teenagers'."
"what can I say? I'm unique like that." I shrugged, closing my eyes slightly as I looked to the sun. "Still, don't usually expect to come across people while I'm here, much less old fogeys."
"Hey, I take offense to that!" He shouted with no real heat to his voice. "Geez, kids these days. Really have no respect for their elders. Didn't your parents ever teach you anything about that?
A pit suddenly formed in my stomach, sinking into a never-ending abyss. One that felt like I would never be able to escape. "…No …I don't think they were able to teach me that before they left."
"Oh…" He suddenly turned quiet, the air around us becoming dense. "I didn't mean to bring it up. I'm so-"
"Don't have to apologize. Not like you meant to bring it up in the first place," His expression, slightly. The frown on his face still prominent. "So, what about you? What brought you here?"
"Umm. Well, for a number of reasons. But, I don't think any of them would be interesting. Like, at all."
"Right. Of course, I should have known that the old man would try to dodge the question like Neo from the matrix. Okay, fine. Stay in your backwards way, old man."
"Backwards? Kid, are you sure you really want to know? There's not much that I can share."
"And that's a problem… why, exactly?" I raised a brow, the man rolling his eyes as he watched me. "Look. Damn near anything is better than sitting here with thumbs up our asses. We might as well, right?"
"I-thumbs up out- You- Okay, okay." He digressed, sighing as he adjusted his shirt. "Well, lunch just rolled around, and I thought I could use a bite after the first half of the day. Thought I could stay here for a bit. Nothing more to it than that, if I'm going to be honest.
I hummed to myself, eyeing him carefully as I fixed my positioning. "Right. So why didn't you just follow your coworkers and ate lunch around a table? Probably enjoy their company more than mine."
"I would, there's no denying that. But, I don't think I would be able to sleep tonight with the thought that I could have done something about that lonely youth. I'd haunt me. Haunt me that I could have helped someone as opposed to entertaining myself."
"So you're here to help me then? Don't suppose you work as a therapist? My fi- girlfriend's been pushing me to try to understand myself more, get past some troubled emotions. All that neat stuff."
"Unfortunately, I'm not a therapist. Far from it, in all reality. I'm simply a humble dock worker. Trying to make the best out of a sinking ship."
"Not what I was expecting, but I suppose that was fair. Can't just randomly assume things like that, makes me look like a maniac." A spike of laughter bubbled from my throat, sinking further down the chair until I was no longer sitting. "Still, odd of you to come by. Don't see many people with a kind heart these days."
Glancing towards the man, I saw the faintest glimpse of a smile touching the corners of his lips. "Yeah, guess I am quite unique in that way," He shrugged, finally pulling out his food from the paper bag. "When people lose the will to even dream, hope for a brighter tomorrow. They tend to become more jaded, cynical to life. But, all it takes is one ray of light to change all of that."
He took a bite out of a sandwich, not a word passing between us. There was something of a comfortable silence in the air, with nothing but the squawks of seagulls filling it. I would have tried to break it, but I wasn't so sure it was the right idea. There was no point in breaking it. Not when I had nothing to connect it with."
"So, you just thought it was a good idea to talk to me?" What the fuck was that, Lester?
"Maybe…. Maybe not," He danced around the question, taking another bite. "All I'm saying is that you looked a bit down. And while it's not in my place to disturb you, a little bit of guidance never hurt anybody. Better when that person is trying to be a positive influence, don't you think?"
"Positive? So you're trying to help?" I asked, feeling the edge of my lips curl just like his.
"You could say," He sagely nodded. "Always told myself if I could help one person a day, my week would be better. That the small interaction we shared would inevitably turn their life around. Though, can't say I've been having much of that lately. A bit hard when everything around you seems to be falling apart."
"Aye," I agreed, a bit too easily. "Urh- wait. Nope, sorry. Don't get it one bit. Never was the type to be so set on helping people. Never could, you know? Always tried, but I was just never the right person. The right person for anybody."
A dim cloud shrouded the sky, covering us from the sun. "Then find that person." He replied simply. "Find the person you want to help. Find a person you want to help even if it meant you'd die. Because when you do, then you won't ever be able to stop smiling. To enjoy the simpler parts of the world. Because for once, you made someone smile, a genuine smile"
I mulled over the question for a few seconds, glancing towards the sky as the cloud moved away, the light of the sun now visible. "Perhaps. Perhaps you're right. Don't know for sure though."
"Don't have to be, and I don't expect it," The man admitted, brushing off what remained of the sandwich. "Kid, listen. I get that making your own decisions is tough, being an adult generally is, but take it from me, when things are going too fast, and everything doesn't feel real anymore, take a step back, and listen to both your heart and your gut. Whatever they tell you, follow it. Follow it to the ends of the earth and never look back. Regret your decisions for even a moment, and you start slipping back into that mindset. You got that?"
The warning was ominous, too on point. I felt my breath freeze in my throat as I stared wearrily at the man. Watching him for any sign of hostility, or that he knew too much.
"Copy that. Sheesh, you don't know how to chill, do ya fogey?"
"Better than you, brat. Just watching out for your scrawny ass." He snorted, briefly glancing at his watch, as his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "Whoop, looks like I took a bit too much time. Well, be see'n ya, kid. Been nice talking to you."
Straightening his close, he grabbed his paper bag as I stood up straight. I decided what I would say slowly, taking each word into account on how I wanted to go. "Wait, you forgot to give me your name!" I realized in the nick of time, his feet freezing in the midst of a step as he turned back.
"Danny Hebert, just a humble union dock worker. And you?"
"Ah-" How? How the fuck? Why the fuck? What on god's green earth? No, please. Can I not? Why? He was cool. He was chill. But why?
"Uh-. Lester Kim, as of this moment, professional drop out. I'll make sure to call you if I need any work done."
I ran away before he could get a response out, my throat thick, tight. I could barely breathe. Everything felt too dream-like. "Maybe I was just unlucky," I heaved out, yelling the words like I had an audience.
"Maybe the universe just hates me? Maybe everything was just caused by a thinker using their power to screw me over."
The thought ran by my head, my lips unable to keep still as I exploded out into a bout of laughter. "No. Fuck, no. Maybe it was fate." There was a certainty to my voice, a fire burning in my heart as its flames licked at my soul.
"And that just meant I needed to up my game."
It was fun. Writing this chapter. Though, that might just be me not wanting to pay attention to classes. Then again, who does? Anyways, chapter where something good actually happens to Lester. Is the world ending? Is this the end times? Sadly, no. No it is not. Just me giving him a hand before things inevitably go to shit. I'm thinking 2 chapters from now, a nuke explodes! jk
Anyways, if you have any complaints, likes, dislikes, anything, please comment them. They're appreciated as it helps improves my writing and the quality of the fic moving forward. your ideas are also appreciated, they may be used to write future scenes that don't exist yet. Very neat.
I'm mainly active on 2 discord servers, you can find me on them when I have the time. Come and chat, I like interaction a lot. Channel name is #ball's pit for the servers that aren't mine.
SGO: Join the Shiro's Gaming Omniverse Discord Server!
Mine: Join the balls Discord Server! I'm not telling you to join it, but it would be nice.
With that being said, I'm going to do my homework.