Ichigo was carrying a bag of food to Rukia's isolated home on the Kuchiki manner. He tried to come see her after the trial, but her guard dog wouldn't allow anyone to see her. He even managed to stand up to Byakuya claiming that Rukia requested to be alone. Which was odd, because when Ichigo respected her wishes yesterday, he noticed Grimmjow slip into her room.
How did things get this incredibly fucked? Rukia didn't want to see anyone other than the Arrancar. She has known him for a few days and that somehow makes him closer to her than her friends and family? None of this was making sense. He had to see her, make sure she wasn't being possessed by demons or suffering from a major brain injury.
As soon as the courtyard was in sight, he let out a groan at the sight of the Arrancar.
Grimmjow looked like he was right at home in black joggers and a grey t-shirt sitting on the wood floor with his legs hanging off the edge leaning back on his elbows.
Ichigo got closer and noticed that Grimmjow had bruising on the side of his face and his forearms. For a moment, he worried that something might have happened to Rukia.
"You better not be here to tell me I can't see her, or else we are going to have a problem" Ichigo's scowl was in high gear. Grimmjow just chuckled in response further angering Ichigo.
"Relax kid. I wasn't gonna say shit".
"Is she doing okay?" A simple question that someone came out like a growl of annoyance. Again, this was bullshit that the Arrancar that nearly killed Rukia was the only one who knew how she was doing.
"How should I know?" Grimmjow responded lazily. Ichigo turned to face him with annoyance. She went through hell in that court room, the very least he could have done was ask if she was okay. She needed someone to be there for her and the Arrancar was the last person to provide her with the comfort she needed.
"Are you fucking serious? How could you not know!?" Ichigo growled in irritation.
"I didn't ask her?" Grimmjow's response sounded unsure. He lifted an eyebrow at Ichigo, was this a trick question? Ichigo's face turned red in anger and his hands balled into a fist, the Arrancar stood up in preparation for what he assumed was going to be a fight. That's how all problems are solved.
"Useless piece of.." Ichigo grunted, rising from his seated position to move towards Rukia's room.
"Fuck this" with that Grimmjow walked away heading towards the back of the courtyard. Ichigo waited until he was out of sight before turning to Rukia's room and entering, closing the door behind him in the hopes that the Arrancar will take the hint.
He took a minute to look around her room, he'd never been here before. There was never a reason to be. Scanning the room, he was able to identify most of the items in there. Some that she had stolen from him and some that he gave her. Her entire room was a scrapbook of her time on Earth. Posters from concerts they attended, schoolbooks, mangas, and of course a hundred thousand chappy related items. A few items stood out to him the most.
A stuffed pickle with googly eyes that he won for her at the carnival, they named him Roger. A first-place trophy from the Halloween that they went as Goku and Vegeta, the height difference made their costume perfect. A bundle of dried sunflowers that Kon gave her to apologize for stealing her underwear. On her nightstand, was an item that made his stomach do a backflip.
Rukia had a nasty habit of leaving half eaten lollipops all over the place. She would place it down to talk or eat and then completely forget about it. No matter how many times he scolded her for it, she didn't stop.
Until one day, he tied a ribbon around a ringpop and looped it around her neck. 'This thing does not leave your neck until it's finished, you understand. If you start eating it, you need to finish it. I'm sick and tired of finding your gross half eaten suckers.' He told her in an attempt to curb her bad habit.
On her nightstand was that very same ringpop. The ribbon was neatly tied into a bow on her nightstand handle. He knew why she kept all the other items, but she had no reason to keep something as insignificant as that. Unless, it was special to her for more personal reasons. His heart skipped a beat at the thought.
He let his eyes shift from the nightstand to the sleeping figure on the bed.
Has she always had such delicate features? In her sleep she looked so peaceful. It made him feel guilty invading her privacy like this. She was wearing a baggy long sleeved pullover sweater, he also noticed a bite mark on her leg, a bruise on her ankle, and a fat swollen lip. What the hell happened to them?
He leaned over her placing his hand on her shoulder giving it a nudge. She was usually a light sleeper, but it seemed she was in a deep sleep. He nudged her a little harder and cleared his throat. She stirred and shoved her head into the pillow.
"I'm not ready to go again, I need more sleep" she mumbled into the pillow. The drop in his stomach felt heavier.
"What do you mean by 'go again'?" He demanded. She lifted her head to see the mother of all scowls on his face.
"Were you raised by wolves! Who the hell barges into a lady's room unannounced!" She glared, balling her hands into a fist. He stood up and stepped away from her in disbelief.
"Your guard dog seems pretty comfortable coming in and out of your room!" he said with a little more spite than he intended. She scoffed before looking away from him. Why did he bring Grimmjow into this conversation?
"How is that any of your business?" He held back a growl, she was avoiding the question which angered him further.
"It's only been a few days since he tried to kill you and you want me to treat him as if nothing happened. Excuse me if I am not adjusting quick enough for you. He went from being our enemy to our new bff, excuse me if I am suffering from WHIPLASH!" She took a deep breath. There was some truth to what he was saying. She did have high expectations that everyone was going to trust her, have blind faith in her judgment, forgive and forget like she did.
"You're right, it's unfair of me to expect you to trust my judgement, or trust in my ability to protect myself if I needed to. That was my fault, I'll make sure to have lower expectations next time". He let a deep breath out that he didn't realize he was holding. He sat down on the bed next to her and leaned forward to put his head in his hands. Maybe he was being selfish, he wanted to protect her. He needed to know that she was okay, for his sake. But what did she need? His thoughts were interrupted when she spoke.
"I said that I would never forgive you if you came to Soul Society to save me, but you came anyways. I accepted my life was going to end the moment that I gave you my powers. I didn't put up a fight because, I felt like it didn't matter. I felt like, I didn't matter. But then you came, and you cared for me. Then I met Chad, Ishida, Inoue, Dad, Yuzu, Karin. Then you saved me, and I had Byakuya, Renji, Hisana and more people that loved me. I found love for myself." She took a deep breath; Ichigo looked her in the eyes as she continued.
"But now I don't say anything that I don't mean. If I say don't save me, it means don't save me. I have grown in many ways, but you don't see me as I am. You only see who I was. You don't worry about our friends like you worry about me, because you believe in them and their strength. I just, I want you to see me. I want you to think of me as your equal" she gently placed one of her hands over his.
"I always come back to you, not because I need you to protect me, I come back because I want to. You are my most precious friend, I will always cherish you. I don't want you to here if it's because you want to protect me, or you feel like you owe me something. I want you here because you simply want to be here" He squeezed her hand before letting go and standing up. He paced around for a moment before coming back to sit on the bed directly facing her.
"I am sorry I made you feel that way, that was never my intention" he gave her a sad smile.
"I've never cared for someone the way that I care for you. It's not that I think you are not capable of taking care of yourself, or that I doubt your strength. If I treat you like you are made of glass, it's because I'm terrified of losing you, again."
"I know you don't need me, but I need you and that scares me." He had a look that she had never seen before. It was raw, vulnerable, and open. She turned red, she felt embarrassed that she misunderstood his intentions, and made an assumption without talking to him. It was just a miscommunication.
Wow, look at him using his feelings words. He was the poster child of maturity.
Before she was able to respond, he noticed something. The robes that Grimmjow wore yesterday were laying on the floor on the other side of the bed as if they were carelessly tossed. There was a heavy drop in the pit of his stomach at the thoughts running through his mind, imagining how they ended up there.
This had to be a misunderstanding, there was a reasonable explanation for this. All he had to do was ask her. Be cool, just casually ask her in a way that doesn't sound accusing or harsh.
"Are you sleeping with him?" He pointed to the discarded clothes on the floor.
Rukia followed his gaze realizing he was talking about Grimmjow and raised an eyebrow. A simple question, but somehow she got the feeling there was more to it.
"Yes?" She answered questionably.
Why did Ichigo care that Grimmjow was stubborn and refused to sleep in the spare room? Or that she was stubborn and refused to let him have her bed resulting in them sharing a bed. Her bed was huge, and they just used it to sleep. She became more confused when she saw all the color on Ichigo's face disappear, his mouth hung open in utter disbelief. Was that bad? She would sleep next to Renji and their friends all the time and it wasn't weird. This must be one of those weird human things where they over complicate something that seems simple enough.
Ichigo was sweating bullets. This couldn't be really happening. But it would explain the injuries. As a teenager with no knowledge or experience with sex and very little imagination, he assumed those type of injuries could be the result of some sort of sex stuff. Maybe?
"How did that happen?" He asked without looking at her, staring a hole through the clothing in question. Rukia was becoming more confused, people get tired and they sleep? Did he want specifics? What did it matter? He seemed very upset. Feeling like they were were falling into the same assumption and misunderstanding dance, she answered the question as best she could.
"He was persistent?" He went silent. This wasn't happening right now. Did it just get really hot? The room felt stuffy. He needed air. Without saying a word he walked out of her room and into the courtyard. He was in such a daze he almost tripped over Grimmjow who was sprawled on the deck. He was also suddenly deaf and couldn't hear Rukia's footsteps as she stood outside of her door.
"The fucks his problem?" Grimmjow stood up next to her as they both watched Ichigo slowly descend into madness.
"I…I honestly have no idea." They both watched and waited, unsure of how to proceed. There were times when he would walk up to them and open his mouth to say something, and then walk away. He walked up to them one last time after he worked up the nerve to say something, but seeing them standing in close proximity to each other made his blood boil again. He wasn't going to get into this right now, he started to walk away from the duo with no intentions of looking back.
"You're leaving?" She asked concerned. He stopped in his track and turned to face them. If looks could kill.
"You tell me you're fucking him and expect me to what? Be excited for you?!" He turned around and headed for the main house again but with haste. Rukia's eyes went wide, face dark red, and mouth wide open. Did she hear him correctly? She turned to Grimmjow who had a confused look on his face.
"We fucked? Where was I?"